Latest / She's Next Level / 34: Why Most Women Struggle With Trusting Themselves & How To Trust Your Intuition W/ Janna H.
Transcript
- Darshna Patel: Hello everybody and welcome back the She's Next Level podcast. I'm so excited to have you guys here and today's topic is very, very juicy. I feel like it's something that a lot of women struggle with, but it's also something that a lot of women need and it's all around self-trust. ⁓ And today I have a special ⁓ guest and a friend of who I ⁓ basically met through my intuition training that I had gone through for like over a year now and being in that program really opened me up in so many ways and like understanding myself better trusting myself more ⁓ but ⁓ I really to this person on because when it comes to anybody really feeling confident with their intuition and really feeling like confident within themselves and trusting themselves like no matter what the fuck people say it is my friend Jana Holterman Jana please introduce yourself to everybody Janna Holterman: Hey everyone, so honored to be here. My name is Jana. I am a intuitive. also, my background is nursing, so I love to kind of get the science and the neuroscience behind all of the stuff and the ways that this works. Darshna Patel: Amazing, awesome. So first things first, ⁓ as we dive into this topic, guys, I feel like a lot of self-trust issues come from our childhood in the very beginning. Like a lot of the shit, if we were to take like healing and becoming a better version of ourselves and tapping into our like potential, if we were to like really look at the nitty gritty of it and from like a bird's eye view, a lot of things start from our childhood. So I wanted to actually get a little bit of an insight like how was that for you growing up as a kid with like your relationship with self-trust? Janna Holterman: Yeah, so I would say I didn't have self-trust as a kid. I... So basically growing up, I feel like I was raised very, like, you have to look a certain way and you have to behave a certain way and you have to, like, present yourself in a certain way. And this was kind of like... Darshna Patel: What? then Janna Holterman: really ingrained from my grandparents, but then I feel like my parents like reinforced that to certain degree with like, you know, you got to get certain grades in school, you got to be a part of like volunteering and doing all these things. So it was very much like a raising or bringing up of like other people's opinions of you matter most and we need to be doing things to like Darshna Patel: Okay. Mm hmm. Janna Holterman: raise our standard of ourselves and all that is from other people's opinions. So I didn't really start developing I think like true self-trust in myself until adulthood and like several Incidences of like major shit hitting the fan life falling apart moments were when I started to like actually Question things and like you know, who am I? What am I supposed to be doing? What do I actually like? That was when I started developing more self-trust and that didn't come until like I was already working as a nurse Darshna Patel: When was that for you? Like, take me back to like a moment. where like, when did you realize that like, ⁓ shit, I need to trust myself more, like I am capable of trusting myself more, because I feel like a lot of people know that they, like deep down they wanna trust themselves, like deep down they know what they know, and it's like, but some people, including myself for a while, didn't feel like I was capable of trusting myself because I felt like I was wrong for like a lot of the things. based on the results in my life and based on like what other people are saying and what other people are doing. like, when did you, when did it start for you of like actually realizing that like, shit, I need to trust myself or like actually feeling like you're capable of it. Janna Holterman: So I think it started in nursing. So when I started working as a nurse I was working in like a float pool which basically means like you travel all over the hospital and like fill in when people are like sick or they're short staffed whatever kind of thing and I remember going to all these different floors and people there would always be coming to me and being like ⁓ my god what does it work like to work over here what does it like to work over here is it better in this unit is it better in this unit and this was like an interesting thing because it kept happening and it was that Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Janna Holterman: eye-opening of like, so if it's the same in every place I could possibly work in the hospital, is it actually my job that creates my experience? And I started like down this like rabbit hole of my own thinking of like, okay well I'm burnt out, like I'm drained, I'm exhausted, like I don't know if I've made the wrong decision in choosing nursing, like I you know I was Darshna Patel: and Mmm. Janna Holterman: Working on myself in that, like I had done some therapy, I had a personal trainer, was working out, was getting my nutrition, but I like still had this like, you know, clearly those didn't solve my true issues. Other people all think the job is the problem. And I- Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm Janna Holterman: because I had that opportunity to float all over, I knew that the job couldn't be the problem because I had literally worked in all these places that people are like, ⁓ my god, it must be so much better over there. And I was like, well, no, I was there last week. It really wasn't that much better. So think that awareness was kind of like, okay, so ⁓ maybe I'm the denominator, not, you know, something external to me, my job, whatnot. And I think that was such a culture shock in that like the way I was raised was like all that matters is like, you know, that you've checked the boxes that you've gotten your degree and like, you know, you should probably get a master's and do all these other things. And this was kind of like, okay, well, if I'm the person who actually creates my experience of this job, does that mean that I can change it? And that was kind of where I started doing more things and actually started to change the way that my brain was seeing my job, which actually helped me feel better. And it, that's, I think was the start of my like self trust journey. Cause it was like, ⁓ it's actually me. I'm the problem, but I guess I can also be the solution. Darshna Patel: I love that I'm the problem, but I'm also the solution. I really really love that so So then okay, so what is like? the thing that you feel like really apps people over when it comes to like trusting themselves like what is the the most common because you obviously work with people, know your life coach like you help women really break through their obstacles and I guess indirectly help them trust themselves more, right? And like really step back into their power. And so like, what do you think really trips people up the most that like kind of blocks them or F them up from like actually being able to trust themselves? Like what are like the top, like let's say three things that you feel like are the things that people are having a hard time ⁓ with trusting themselves with. Janna Holterman: The first and the biggest I think is kind of like I already mentioned is most of us are living life in the like what I should be doing and that's coming from you know most of our belief systems are created between the age of zero and seven so all of our like we were a sponge at that age so all of our like way we see the world and the perceptions that we have of the world and how we think we should behave was picked up from like our our parents and our friends and our teachers and like even like magazines and movies and things that we watched at those young like very impressionable ages. So we were role modeled so much and we continue to say like this is the way I should look and you can look at this at the extreme of like you know like a Barbie doll or something and it's like okay well I'm supposed to look like Barbie and if I don't look like Barbie then there's something wrong with me and this is something that Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. and. Janna Holterman: plays in with so many different things. It's like, okay, well if I don't, you know, have the right career and make enough money and drive the right car, then I'm, you know, not okay. But all of those things will not make you feel the way that you want to feel. Like, I think this is such a hard lesson to learn, but it is the truth in that, the external things will not make you feel better. Darshna Patel: Okay. Janna Holterman: and I learned that the hard way. ⁓ I got married really young. you know, yup, I had bought the house because I felt like I had to buy a house because that was what I was supposed to be doing. I did the job, the career, I made the thing. I did all of the things because I felt like that was what I was supposed to be doing. And I think most of us can all kind of find a handful of moments where it's like, yeah, we did that thing because like, Darshna Patel: Right. Girl, you and me both. Janna Holterman: you know, someone so who's super smart and has really great advice said that I should. Okay, but are they living your life? No. And I think that's really where it starts to kind of unwind itself. It's like, whose life are we living? Are we living like Sally Jo's life or are we trying to live our own life? Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. I love that. What's the second thing? Janna Holterman: Okay, so the second thing when it comes to self-trust is I think so many of us it kind of like is playing off the last piece of like whose life are we living is we're so used to second-guessing ourselves and because we're always looking external we don't really give ourselves credit for how smart and capable and knowledgeable we are and I can tell you from personal experience like you don't know how capable and strong you are until you are truly tested and unfortunately that tends to be some sort of like you know big t-trauma that happens to you but like you don't know how capable you are until you go through something but we were always that capable we just never give ourselves credit for our ability to overcome you know tiny little things but also massive big obstacles And I think we have just spent so long always seeking external fixes. You know, something in your house breaks. What our first like thing is either go hire somebody or like, you know, order a new one on Amazon and it'll be here tomorrow. We're always looking for that like quick fix on externally to ourselves. And all that is done is reinforced. We can't trust ourselves. Darshna Patel: Mmm. Janna Holterman: And so the lack of trust in ourselves has just created this like, well, I'm not even gonna bother looking in. I'm just gonna immediately seek outside support. And this is so true for so many of us and I fell victim to this too. It's like, ⁓ well, I have a problem. Let me go buy a course or let me go, you know, do this retreat or this program or this thing. And it's like, Darshna Patel: Haha! Janna Holterman: If I go and learn this knowledge, then I'm gonna solve my problem. Okay, but is my life and their life the same? How did they actually like come up with the solution? Did they, because there's so many people online who's like, ⁓ how to make a million dollars. Did they even make a million dollars or do they make the million dollars selling how to make a million dollar program? Like is that actually going to help you? Darshna Patel: you Yeah. It's so trippy with that out there. Janna Holterman: Absolutely. And I think this was also something for like me when I, my nursing work, it's like 12 hour shifts. So if you're supposed to like, you know, do like a 75 hard program where you're supposed to do like two workouts a day, like there's no way in hell I could like expect myself to do it, but I was doing this. Like I was like, oh, well I should be able to do it because you know, like Joe can do it. So. But I was like, okay, but that doesn't actually fit in my life. It does not work. Like if I'm working a night shift, there's no way that I can have two workouts and like all these things. Like it's completely unacceptable for me to expect that of my body. But instead of recognizing that, most of us just turn to like, well, there's something wrong with me. Like I should just be working harder. I should be further along. Like we just beat the crap out of ourselves rather than just being like, okay, well, I'm trying to. Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Janna Holterman: fit the square peg in the round hole, maybe I should go find the round peg to fit in the round hole instead. Darshna Patel: I also feel like, you know, when it comes to self-trust and like just kind of piggy banking off of what you just said, ⁓ think a lot of people, including myself, like also struggle with ⁓ believing in like the things that we're like our dreams and the things that we want to do because it's sometimes like very unconventional, right? Like all our stories are different, all our lives are different. And so because it feels like so different or maybe it's something that you've never done before. ⁓ Or maybe it's something that, you know, is pretty common, like building an online business, but the way that you're doing things are so different than other people. We can tend to like compare ourselves because X person is getting a certain result and you're not, or we can like feel like, is this even possible for me? Like, am I even capable of this? And like that self-trust piece really lags. I know it has for me a lot. I've struggled with this personally, and I know a lot of people probably do. How do we deal with that when it comes to actually still trusting ourselves in the unknown? In not knowing what the result's gonna be, but obviously the result matters, right? We all do things for a reason. Janna Holterman: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. think this is something I definitely learned the hard way. So my, started my life coaching business like six years ago, yeah, 2020. And the first couple of years were me doing, know, I took a business course, like a, you know, a course on how to do this and how to do that. And like, I tried all of the things. and you know, is how to market on Instagram and this is how to make a Facebook group and do lives and all these things and I remember like trying all of these things and it was still that like, ⁓ this external thing is going to work for me because it worked for Joe, right? Like and I tried so much and I literally spent like thousands upon thousands of dollars, not the happiest with that but it's all good because it looked like it helped me learn so much but The thing being that none of those courses actually created... Some of them created very small results, but it wasn't sustainable. And I, like, because I learned the hard way, you know, I would like to say you can do it better because you are hearing me tell you this. In that, like, if you're doing, if you're doing, like, Joe's method that worked for Joe, Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Janna Holterman: It's not going to work for you. And I think there's is caveats to this, but when we go into like the woo side of things, right? People have certain life paths and I know you said that like you have that dream and that desire for something and you just don't know if it's possible. You wouldn't notice it if it wasn't possible. Like If you were paying attention the way our brain works, we have the reticulating activating system in our brain and it only focuses on the things that it finds relevant to us. And if something that is out of your reach right now is something your brain is focusing on, the only reason it would focus on that thing is because it is something that is within your capability and capacity to create. So Darshna Patel: And then. Janna Holterman: Remind yourself of the neuroscience of like I could not possibly notice This within this other person this like success unless it was something that like my brain Was programmed to see because it's something that I am capable of Darshna Patel: I like that. I think for me I notice a lot of things all the time so I'm like, ⁓ this, ⁓ that, like I used to get so distracted and I think that was fucking with my self-trust too because I'd be like, ⁓ yes, I know I could do that. I know I can do that. There's that, like and then it would just start fucking with you. Janna Holterman: And so I just like, yeah. Yeah, but ⁓ taking it like a step further with okay. I notice it because i'm capable Well, what is it that you're actually noticing and sometimes we're like, okay We're noticing this guy on instagram who's like the best piano player ever and maybe you've never played piano in your house your life. So like okay, it's like is it the piano playing that I'm intrigued by or interested in? No, because that's not like something that I desire to do is become like an amazing concert pianist kind of thing, right? But I can admire his dedication. Wow, like think about how long and how much practice it would take to get to that level of mastery. Okay, so Maybe that's something within myself like where am I dedicated? Where have I you know taken the time to get to a level of mastery and then you know each of us is gonna be something different for myself like I can look back at my Business and be like holy shit like I have so much tenacity like no matter how many times something didn't work Or I bought a course that completely failed me. I still got up and still looked at it and went. Okay, that doesn't work maybe this other thing does and so Darshna Patel: Right. Janna Holterman: I think that's something where we can take that thing to the next level of just like, okay, what is it about that person or that success that I like really connect to and like what is the quality behind that and how can I find that quality within myself and that's gonna change the way that you're perceiving it to this like it takes it from that like Darshna Patel: I love that. Janna Holterman: Jealousy the envy because what what happens when we're looking at them and being like, ⁓ my god Like I can't believe they did that like like we're saying like we're noticing the gap between where we are and where they are and say like we notice all of our faults and all the Places that we fall in short but when we take it to that step further of like finding the quality that they have that we find admirable and then looking into our own lives and saying, okay, where do I have that quality that Darshna Patel: and Janna Holterman: That like brings the gap together because if we're saying we have the same qualities that means that we can create the same level of success Darshna Patel: I love that. I love that a lot. ⁓ It's actually a great refresher and a reminder because I remember creating a reel around that and I was like, yeah, like, duh. So what's number three? Janna Holterman: Ooh, yeah. Okay, so third block for not trusting yourself. Let's see. Okay, so for the third one, I want to talk about basically really not recognizing your own like special and uniqueness. I think this is something that kind of plays on to what we've already talked about a little bit. But when it comes to, ⁓ this other person has this quality that I don't have or whatnot like Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Janna Holterman: The reason that we're using that as fuel to beat ourselves up rather than being like, ⁓ my god, how amazing is that for them? And it's also amazing for me because I also have such qualities which make me be capable of doing whatever is not truly recognizing like we're all here for a specific purpose and our purpose is unique to us and we're so used to a culture where we're you know, idolizing celebrities and all these things and looking at all these other people and saying, okay, well, I have to be like them. I have to act like this. I have to show up this way. But it truly isn't the way that our nervous systems and like our brains are designed to be creating like safety in your nervous system and actually feeling authentic in being yourself. comes from recognizing your own unique and special skills that like nobody else has and it doesn't matter that like you or I could be both building an online business and both be teaching intuition and like both have an eight week long course like that could be the case but the way that I teach it is going to be so unique to me because my brain processes information differently and I process emotions and I show up differently and you have your own way of doing it and I think we're just so used to like Shark infested waters that there's like there is no room for me. Like that is so incredibly false In that like I like to see it almost like we're all part of a giant puzzle and each of us have a puzzle piece that has a unique shape and a unique Darshna Patel: you Janna Holterman: part of the picture and we need everybody's puzzle pieces to all come together to have the full picture. And so there may be two puzzle pieces that have similar shapes or there may be two puzzle pieces that maybe have similar pictures on them, but they're not the same and they have their own piece and position in within the puzzle. And when we put it all together, we can create this beautiful picture. And the more you lean into that of saying there's something that I do that nobody else can do the way that I do it, the less it's going to feel like a competition that you have to like push somebody else out in order to have your spot earned. And I think that also creates a lot more authenticity in the way that you show up and it's going to be easier to create the life, the business, the career. that feels most authentic and aligned and is backed by that self-trust. Darshna Patel: It definitely makes sense because I feel like the more that you are rooted to your authentic self and how special and unique you are and like Like literally like tunnel vision focused on your own life and like what you're doing The more that you're able to just trust yourself because you know what you need and then you know, what's best for you So I really really really love that and it's so crazy because it took me a while to understand that fucking concept of like you're special you're unique like it's been a journey but I know it's gonna be journey for a lot of people to get to that place, but I do think that cultivating self-trust is just literally like, ⁓ that is a byproduct of being able to trust yourself, is recognizing everything about you and why you're here for purpose. And that's why I also think that having a spiritual connection and some type of connection to a higher power. Janna Holterman: Yeah, totally. Darshna Patel: really is the conduit to it, like it really is the way to get to that place because even with intuition honestly, like I feel like I never knew really what intuition was even though I always used it and I think a lot of people feel that way because they're like when they think like intuition and being a psychic it's like so glamorized where it's like ⁓ being a psychic means you're extra special and then that Janna Holterman: Yeah, totally. Darshna Patel: that person has that gift that you don't because it's just like there's not that there's not that many people talking about it or making it so normalized but I do feel like that is changing as we grow and as we spread the message of like yeah like intuition is just fucking normal you just it's like a muscle and you just gotta practice it I would love to know because for me with intuition like it's it's literally the language of the unknown it's like a language that we all don't always like speak Janna Holterman: Yes. Darshna Patel: It's very fluid. very, you know, it's just different. And so like, how has your journey been with like, trusting your intuition? Because ⁓ nothing irks me more than when people say like, you just gotta trust your intuition. Trust your intuition. Like, ⁓ always hear like feminine embodiment coaches always say that. And it's like, bitch, not everybody knows how to fucking do that. If they did, then they would fucking do it. ⁓ not everybody's there. Janna Holterman: Yes. Darshna Patel: So it's like, how would you get, like if someone was to come to you and be like, you know, I don't really feel like, like, you know that they need to trust their intuition like we all do, but they're not there yet. Like, how would you like, what was like the first step that you would like help them with to get them to start trusting their intuition more and trusting what comes from their intuition? Cause I feel like that's a big piece with self-trust. Janna Holterman: Yeah. So, with intuition, I always start with demystifying it, right? As you said, you would see so many things online where it's like, ⁓ my god, if you have ringing in your ears, it's like your angel's connecting with you and you're like, the? Or I just have tinnitus or something, like what are you? Right? There's so many things that you'll see online and it's like you know you're psychic if, and then you're like, okay, but what? So, first off. every single person on this planet has intuition. What the hell is intuition? So basically, intuition is... it is like another sense almost, but it has a language of its own and the information that you can receive can come in in like literally like 20 different ways. So you could hear it, you could see it, you could have inner knowing, you could have like dreams, there's just so many different ways that this information can communicate with you. But what... is the end of the day is everything in our world is created of atoms. Like we're literally going back to like school science here. An atom, within that there is photons which are literally light particles and neutrons which is just like neutral space basically. So the photon is a light particle. We have the capability in our human bodies to interpret light particles. information and it's kind of like you watch TV and You literally like how how does the TV get the movie that you're watching from the internet? Like how have you ever thought about that? Like you literally like and it used to be like you'd have a disk or something Yeah, right, but like so how does the signal get through the internet to go or to your phone? Right? Like if you're literally holding a phone Darshna Patel: I thought that deep. Janna Holterman: It's not like there's a cable connecting it and you're watching a video on YouTube. Everything is literally being sent through with like light particles. Which literally can have waves and everything like that. So in our human body, you can totally recognize this and you've probably met somebody and you just like get this like, ick. Feeling when you're like, I don't want to associate with this person. Like I got to get out of this room immediately Did they say anything? Did they do anything? No, you're literally just getting like that like kind of goosebump feeling and you're like I feel unsafe What what made it you feel unsafe? It was literally their like electromagnetic field or if we call it an intuition like crater field all those things But what was your brain and your body and your nervous system picking up literally like light particles and that our eyeballs work the same way Darshna Patel: morning. Janna Holterman: Your eye is literally picking up light and your brain translates it into information. So intuition is literally figuring out your way of interpreting this information and tapping into just like you're tapping into the movie signal you're tapping into Darshna Patel: Interesting. Janna Holterman: Your higher self signal or your soul self or source or somebody else's higher self like you're tapping into that wavelength and you're able to pull information just like if you opened up your food your phone and googled something so I feel like when you start to kind of like I know this is like a very basic but science version of it, but i'm like, okay if Gravity is an inevitable thing on this planet. So is light And all you're doing with intuition is learning how to process that light information and make it mean something to you. So with that, everybody has it. Everybody has that skill. And I feel like when you recognize that it's literally just like, you know, when you were born, you didn't know how to talk. You had to learn how to talk. And some of us are really Darshna Patel: Okay Janna Holterman: fast talkers and some of us take a little bit longer, same with intuition. Everybody has like this capability to learn this skill, but it's going to come through a little differently in their own timelines with different things in practice. Darshna Patel: Right. The thing with intuition that's always fascinated me and the reason why I have, and I think a lot of people have struggled with trusting their intuition is because For me, when I think about it, language in itself, right? There's always a way to cross-check. There's always a way, because we use language to communicate with each other. We understand things better. But with intuition, it's very fluid. It's very different every time. And so how does someone start to... I'm not trying to go through a whole intuition program. We'll get to that later at the end. We do have a special announcement. But how does someone... Janna Holterman: Yep. Darshna Patel: start to interpret that language or that information or like if they want to, you know, learn know about something and they have a question about something they want to like know if if they need to go this way or that way like how can someone start to you know really start to trust their intuition and what they're receiving because even when you were talking about like how someone can ⁓ pick up on vibes from somebody like how we all do that There's also a sense of emotional manipulation that can happen too that not lot of people are aware of with our emotions can fuck with you. And it's not always intuition. So there is a little bit of nuance there with that. And so how can we navigate through that nuance and how can that's never ⁓ understood it start take the first step to decoding what their intuition's telling them? Janna Holterman: Mm-hmm. Totally. 100%. Yes. Yeah, so I totally understand and most of us want to go from like never really listening to their intuition because your intuition is always communicating with you. It's just whether or not we've learned to like down regulate that and ignore it or upregulate it and pay attention. So most of us are like, ⁓ well, you I want to go from not paying attention to being able to predict the future. And unfortunately that's not the way that works. Just like if you walked into the gym and you haven't weight lifted a day in your life, you can't just go deadlift 500 pounds. You could probably deadlift like 20, 50 pounds maybe. And then what would you need to do? You'd need to keep showing up at the gym three, four times a week and consistently increasing upon that. And the same is true with intuition, right? You can't just go and ask should you know break up with my boyfriend of ten years and expect a really accurate and reliable answer if you've never really tuned in and trained your intuition because yes, what happens is our emotions get in the way and our emotions overpower whatever intuitive information. So just like you can develop the trust with your ability to deadlift weights by repetition and feeling a little bit more comfortable and confident once you get that like body mechanics down and then you can start doing heavier and heavier weights and the same is true with intuition and I know we all want to rush but we have to kind of have that foundation in order to build upon it and the foundation comes from sitting down when we're not in an emotional state and playing around with like sometimes even questions that you know the answer to So that you can trust and build that strength and everybody has their own Way of getting yes, no information and that's kind of where you start is like I want to know what it feels like to get a yes and I want know what it feels like to get a no and some of us that is literally a sensation in our body in a certain area of your body that could literally be a visual or a sound or like even a taste in your mouth like they're There's, we can also do muscle testing, like there's so many different ways that you could get that. So you wanna start with your strongest thing and then play around with it of all the simple things. And once you start to be like, okay, like I should go to the gym and do legs today, that's gonna be most beneficial for me. And you can do that, yes, no, yes, no. And you're gonna start to be like, okay, well, I did go do that. It was a yes, I did go do that. And I actually feel really fricking good right now. Darshna Patel: and I'm so happy to be Janna Holterman: Look at that, like I gotta notice that. And each time you do this with little quote unquote insignificant things, you're developing your intuition muscles, but you're also developing that like trust in it of like, ⁓ yeah, like I made a decision about what meal I should eat at this restaurant when I went out with my friends and I ate the... Salmon Bowl and I actually feel like really good but like I was debating eating the burger and if I ate the burger I probably would have felt sluggish like I can like after the fact be like, ⁓ yeah That was a really beneficial decision for me and it seems so silly But honestly that is how I strengthened my intuition and then of course, there's so many more tools to add on to that but that was like I feel like I like Once I started learning about intuition. I hit the ground running and I used it for like everything literally everything and I feel like I Strengthened that muscle so fast because I was like all the decisions throughout the day of like I should take this way to drive home or this way to drive home I should eat this or that like I should drink a water right now. I should drink drink a green tea right now like it just Developed that trust in it because I was doing it and then I was seeing the evidence of how that was benefiting me and how those things were like actually true and that just kept growing and growing Darshna Patel: I love that. has there been a time where you, you know, thought you had an answer from your intuition and it was wrong? And how did you navigate that? Janna Holterman: ⁓ Yes, there's been moments where okay, so one of my like when I was first training my intuition I was still like working with like life coaching clients, right? So I was kind of like playing around with intuition and I was offering it like in little moments and things while I was still doing mostly life coaching based sessions and one of my clients who is a like travel nurse So she's taking contracts like all over the states she was like debating between a couple of different places and she was like, okay, like what city am I supposed to take? Like, cause she had like three offers on the table kind of thing. And I intuitively tested like what is gonna be like the most beneficial and she's gonna be happiest with. And I got that she's gonna be happiest and it was gonna be most beneficial for her to move to Rapid City. And I told her this information and then like a couple days later she emails me and she's like, so I got rejected from that job in Rapid City. And I like crashed out because I was like, ⁓ my god, like this like, this is, this is what I, and like this is what I got in my information and like she's like a paying client so of course I'm like adding this extra level of pressure on myself. ⁓ And I kind of was like, okay, like you know, what, what is here? And I mean it kind of was this moment of Darshna Patel: ⁓ my God. Yes. Janna Holterman: Like I wasn't really multiple like certain things I feel like you kind of want to look at it from both directions or flip the question or things like that to make sure that you're seeing all possibilities. So I was like, I didn't have that awareness before that. learned that funny thing is like literally she had ended up going to Rapid City and got a different position there three weeks later, but I had literally had this whole crash out because I was I'm like, I was wrong. This is awful. Turns out I was not wrong. The timeline. Because I didn't, I just didn't look at the timeline. And because she got denied from that job, I was like, well this is it. I'm like, I'm never gonna, I'm never gonna do this. Darshna Patel: Yeah you navigate that? How did you navigate still trusting yourself even if you thought you wanted to do something? Janna Holterman: So I didn't, that's the thing. Yeah, so that's the thing is I didn't trust myself. I kinda had that crash out of like, I was wrong, like I fucked up, like this is a problem. But I'm also the kind of person who was like, I wanna know why. Like if I'm gonna make a mistake, okay, like that sucks, but like why? And so I dug deeper and deeper into it and I feel like, I don't know if I went down the right rabbit hole, but I learned so much from that. Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Right. Janna Holterman: that actually has helped me have stronger intuition because of it, because I learned like, you know, different ways of asking things, different ways of like troubleshooting and checking different possibilities. And I never even considered like a timeline of like, I was just like, she's supposed to end up in Rapid City. But I didn't ask, was she supposed to end up in Rapid City with that particular job? And if I did that, I might've got a different answer. And so, Darshna Patel: What would you say to somebody that's like, what would you say to somebody that's like, you know, kind of like not weirded out, but that's kind of like, ⁓ like I've never like seen something in my third eye before. I've never felt sensations in my body before. Like what you're saying of like what a yes answer and a no answer would be for you what would say to that person? Because there are people out there that are so disconnected that Janna Holterman: Yeah. I would say that that's. Darshna Patel: are looking to find their way back. Janna Holterman: Yeah, I would say that they're probably a normal human in our current society. So our society has really taught us to disconnect and live neck up, right? Like we're logical thinkers by training, not by naturalness. so emotions are something that we feel in our body, but how many people Like there's literally like hundreds of different emotions that you could feel within your body. But if I were to ask you like, okay, can you name how many emotions you could currently feel right now? Like you probably, if you probably could be like, okay, well I know what sadness feels like, I know what anger feels like, I know what anxiety feels like. Maybe you could like be like, I know what five emotions feel like, but there's literally hundreds of them. So we don't argue that emotions exist. Darshna Patel: ⁓ my God. That's too many to keep up with. Yeah. Janna Holterman: We argue that intuition exists because it's not something that people commonplace talk about. And it's the same. We can expand our emotional capacity to be able to feel those hundreds of different emotions, but we've disconnected and shoved those emotions down because we said emotions were the problem, we shouldn't be emotional, like, you know, I'll give you something to cry about, kind of like upbringing. So we shove those down and we disconnected our capability of. of connecting with them. The same is true with our emotions, the same is true with our third eye. Most people don't have sight through their third eye because when they were a small child they saw something that scared the crap out of them and they disconnected from that ⁓ ability. So there's nothing wrong with you if that's the case. It's just, okay, how, like where is the step one? Like how do I kind of tune into my body? And even just with your imagination you can tune into your third eye like okay like I want to visualize like a rose in my mind's eye can I do that? Like okay if I can do that like I can start to expand upon this. What does it feel like to feel sensations in my body? If I do that I can expand upon that and the more you connect in with your physical body I think the the stronger and stronger your intuitive information is going to be. Also, the more you're gonna understand the difference between okay i'm feeling an emotion right now versus this was intuitive information the easiest being Is going back and you so all of us get like intuitive information You you can literally so my boyfriend doesn't train his intuition at all And so he was at his parents house this weekend with our dog him and his dad Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Janna Holterman: were outside working on fixing like their water heater that broke. So they were outside, the dog is inside, his mom left to go to the grocery store or something. So my dog is at his parents house and his parents didn't have anything dog proofed. So my boyfriend's in the middle of fixing something outside, can't visualize the dog because they're on the side of the house. He gets a, acorn is up to no good, I need to go check on the dog right now. And the dog was literally on the living room floor. He had jumped on the table. taken a bag of like chocolate fudge cookies off of the dining room table and was attempting attempting to rip the bag open. So my boyfriend has never trained his intuition. He's never like expressed interest in that and that's totally cool. But you can't tell me he like he literally was in the middle of like installing a water heater with his dad. So currently very occupied and all of a sudden had I have to drop everything and go find the dog. Darshna Patel: ⁓ my god. Wow. Janna Holterman: That's intuition. There's no logical way that you could explain that. Darshna Patel: Yeah, that totally makes sense because I've had moments like that too and like even my parents they don't even know what the fucking tuition is like till this day and I don't have like a way to explain it in my language to them so I'm just kind of like yeah like I just know these things and it's like even with them they have like certain moments where they like know things or when I used to lie to them all the time as a kid like they would just like know that I'm lying So then how are people able to control how they receive it? Because I've had moments, honestly, where I I knew the answer to something or like I needed ⁓ help, I to figure something out ⁓ and ⁓ just feel like I had that. you know, how like intuition just comes through naturally. Like, ⁓ how does work and Janna Holterman: Hmm Darshna Patel: How are we able to control it more and be able to have access to it whenever we need, feel like we can count on it, to be able to feel more in control of our lives? Janna Holterman: So. 100 % so Just we're gonna go back to the working out one because it's the easiest one right like if there was a life-and-death moment and like you needed to have strength to like, you know lift a car there's been like there's literally been stories of like a mom's kid is like stuck and like a mom literally can like lift a car would that mom be able to lift a car in any other situation? No, but they have the capability within It's kind of the same with our intuition of like something significant is happening and our intuition sends that signal just like John with the dog eating chocolate foot or trying to get into the chocolate fudge cookie container, right? Like there was a potential life-threatening situation for our dog who he's of course emotionally connected into so he got that signal loud and clear but if there's no, you know, big moments then It doesn't come through the same way. It's generally those really significant moments where your intuition, your higher self is like, we need to scream this at them so that they do something. But if we want to be able to lift that car up regularly, we are going to have to go to the gym and do a lot of weight lifting to build up that strength. The same is true for our intuition. We have to start Darshna Patel: Mm-hmm. Janna Holterman: with the basics, know, yes, no information. How do I receive information? What is, what are like my ways that information comes through most naturally to me? And you start building upon that with simple things, simple questions, simple reads. Then we can go ⁓ like escalate that to more and more intense things. When we're reading for ourselves and it's a very emotional situation, our emotions tend to overpower if you don't have tools in order to regulate your emotions I wouldn't say those are the times that it's like I'm gonna practice using my intuition right now because the information is gonna be so emotionally biased and manipulated I wouldn't trust it but you could do it somebody else is having an emotional situation and you're gonna try it out then you could try that ⁓ but it is is something that takes that like Darshna Patel: . Janna Holterman: learn a tool, practice, implement it, see how it fits in your actual real life day to day situations and grow from there. Darshna Patel: I think most people are highly fucking emotional all the time. Like majority of the world is like constantly like emotional because we're so fucking stimulated. So it's like, I think that's what honestly causes a lot of people to kind of struggle with like feeling like they're making the right decisions for their business or what to do or being able to trust themselves and trust their intuition, which is essentially trusting yourself to guide yourself and Janna Holterman: Yes. Yeah. Darshna Patel: in which direction you need to go or what you want to do. And I think having some level of emotional mastery is definitely probably the reason why a lot of people are just like making all these crazy decisions that they're making because it's not really coming from that like balanced place. Janna Holterman: 100 % 100 % I honestly like it's kind of arguable What's gonna change your life more training your intuition or like learning emotional? intelligence and mastery because Emotions are literally what is like driving all of our decisions underlying right now. Like if you don't have an ability to check in with your higher self or your soul and be like this is the decision I'm going to make, we make decisions based on emotions. And I mean we can all probably recognize moments where we made a lot of emotional purchases that we probably like shouldn't have. But... Darshna Patel: Yup. I do with food all the time. Janna Holterman: Exactly, right? Like we're making all of these emotional decisions and so learning to understand like how emotions work, what your emotions are processing, like it's huge and it's going to exponentially also increase your accuracy of your intuitive information that you get. But there are tools to be able to kind of like down regulate your emotional state in order to get accurate information. ⁓ but it does take a little bit of skill especially if it's like your high emotional situation that you're trying to pull information for. It always adds an extra layer of flair and ⁓ skill required, but it's completely doable. Darshna Patel: Thank Yeah. Yeah. So obviously there's going to be two groups of people out there, know, a group of people like me and you that, know, for me, I honestly, again, like I didn't know what the tuition is. Like I grew up not knowing what that is at all. And even though naturally I was probably very intuitive and I decided to obviously, you know, train my intuition. Janna Holterman: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: And I remember being like shit scared even when I started. I didn't want to fucking do it, but I just knew it was something that I needed to do because I knew it was going to help me trust myself more. But there's also another group of people out there that, you know, maybe they don't want to do this kind of work. Like maybe they just don't want to take the time to like train their intuition and like do all of that, which is fine, but they still want to be able to trust themselves more and like build that self-trust muscle for themselves. in general, so what would you say to the people that feel like, ⁓ you know, they want to learn how to trust themselves and like be able to trust themselves more, even if they didn't train their intuition? Janna Holterman: Yeah, absolutely. I don't think training your intuition is necessarily a requirement for life since there's so few people who are actually doing it. And it is like that like expert level in the video game. Like if you're just like, you know what, I'm just here to do my thing and go through life. Like that's totally great. But I do agree that like trusting in yourself is a huge component to, you know, feeling fulfilled and like you're making a difference. And I Again, when it comes back to the neuroscience of things, like your brain is going to find evidence for what it believes in, what you focus on. So if you're focusing on all of the ways that you can't trust yourself, that it doesn't work, that you need to work harder, that you need to push yourself more, you're not doing enough, your brain is going to find so many really, really valid like moments where that's true and other evidence to kind of reinforce those belief systems. So when it comes to developing this trust in yourself, we have to start finding evidence for what we want to believe in. Evidence for how we are making a difference. Evidence for how, you know, we have done enough even if we do nothing else more. Evidence for how we, you know, we trusted ourselves in this moment and look at how good the situation turned out because I trusted myself or even the situation might have turned out badly but like I learned something that's actually gonna amplify my trust in myself. There's always evidence that we can find to reinforce whatever belief system you want. Your brain is just gonna autopilot to not trusting yourself because that's the way that your brain has been programmed. So in order to create that trust, we have to shift what our brain focuses on. and truly find moments where that was true, even it could have been 10 years ago, it could have been today, but the more evidence we find, the more you're gonna start to intentionally create it, and that's going to shift the way that your brain is programmed, and you're gonna create more trust in yourself because your brain will find that evidence to build it. Darshna Patel: Bye. I also think there's like an element just to add on of like trusting in the unknown. This has been a big fucking life lesson for me that I have been navigating. Especially like, you know, my income hasn't been consistent since June of 2025 and I've really had to heal a lot of like my internal safety, know, safety with money and like the relationship with money. But it's really safety in the unknown. think a lot of women Janna Holterman: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: also struggle with that. I think an element of self-trust is also like trusting in the uncertainty, like trusting that life has your back, that you're going to be okay no matter what happens. Because I think that also can affect the self-trust in yourself and the decisions that you make because you are uncertain about the future. Janna Holterman: Totally. Darshna Patel: based on the actions that you take or based on the decisions that you make. So I do think there's also an element of that. What would you have to say about that? Janna Holterman: Totally. so ⁓ I'm always back to like the science, right? So neuroscience, right? Our brains are programmed for like protection. Our brains have not evolved to modern day society. So most of the threats that we have now, ⁓ social media or our business or things like that, our brains... ⁓ are still perceiving, like, there being a potential that a lion is around the corner and gonna come eat you, or if you were to be kicked out of your tribe, you would starve and not survive. And so, I sometimes have to have that conversation with my brain of like, okay, the fear of the unknown makes total sense, because I'm going into a new environment, which means my brain doesn't know how to protect me, it literally thinks there's a lion around the corner that could eat me. Or I could get rejected from my tribe and then, you know, I'm gonna starve or be unsafe or something like that. Like I'm like, okay brain, like I can see how you'd feel this way. But what do I know to be true? Okay. Like, and then I literally have this whole conversation with my brain about like, okay, are these actually going to happen? No, there's literally no lion. Like, okay, I post a new ⁓ course or something online. My brain is like, okay, well what if you get rejected? Like, okay, well. Darshna Patel: If you. Janna Holterman: What if I, like am I, like I, normally what happens is we create that situation our brain is most afraid of in advance. Like we like beat the crap out of ourselves so we reject ourselves so that like other people won't reject us but like we literally are just holding ourselves back from actually creating that thing that we wanted to create in the first place. So if I go there with my brain, I was like okay, brain you're treating this as if that lion's gonna come get ya. Totally get it, see where you're coming from. Doesn't make any sense. No. Okay, so what is the actual worst case scenario in this thing? Like, okay, well I could launch this course and nobody signs up. Okay. Would I die? No. Would I be okay? Yes. Okay, well what would happen? I might be a little bit disappointed. Maybe I would recognize that the way I marketed it wasn't actually speaking to somebody's problem and that's why they didn't buy. Okay. Well, I'm gonna do it again and I'm gonna change my marketing and now I'm gonna talk more directly and it's better than it ever was before. Maybe I'm gonna tweak something else and like each time it's actually gonna get better. So I'm like, that worst case scenario is actually making my program better and better. So I'm not even that upset that it happens anymore. Darshna Patel: I love that. that makes a lot of ⁓ It's just funny how like, it's just funny how you talk to your brain like that. So it's like, I don't really do that. ⁓ But I'm like, I love like saying of like, ⁓ but did you die? Like, I feel like that's always my favorite. It's like one of my favorite fucking three words or four words or whatever it is of like, but did you die? Because it really does help your brain kind of ease off of that. Janna Holterman: I do. Darshna Patel: fear factor of like the unknown of what you're about to do. I love that example about the offer in your business and your course that you're talking about of like, okay, well maybe it's just something else that I need to tweak. When it comes to that though, let's someone didn't have intuition, right? They didn't train it. They have intuition, but they haven't trained it. ⁓ How would they go about trusting of like what to do next if they didn't have the answer? ⁓ of like going into the unknown like that. Janna Holterman: So you don't need intuition to do what I just did with the like, okay, well, what's the worst case scenario happening? Like our brains are really good at coming up with those worst case scenarios. And most of the time, if you actually go to the worst case scenario and we're like, write it out, there's a lot of like holes in it it doesn't necessarily make sense. And this is just the way that our brains are. Like we have this fear, but that fear isn't actually like logical and it doesn't like follow through. So you're like, okay, well that doesn't even make sense, but we never actually stopped to look at it. So intuition is not necessary for this process. And I wouldn't say that you would have to use intuition at all. It would just be like, follow that train of like, okay, like what does my brain tell me is gonna happen if I do this? Okay, my brain is gonna tell me that, you know, people are gonna see it and they're gonna judge me and they're gonna hate me, okay? Well, is it possible that somebody sees it? Well, I hope so. Maybe if I like don't use any of the algorithm like SEO things, maybe nobody would see it and that could be something that I could work on. So going down that rabbit hole also is going to give you key action steps of like, okay, well, I need to make sure that I take an action to help people see it. Like if I don't post, nobody's gonna see it. So I need to post. Okay, cool. My brain then thinks, okay, worst case scenarios, nobody likes it. Okay, well, maybe. Again, it was like a visibility thing, like, okay, how do I get more comfortable or confident? And our nervous system creates safety in the present. I think this is really important to like understand is most of the time we're constantly thinking about the past and ruminating on it, or we're having anxiety about the future. But in order to feel more safety in your brain, you need to take an action and then sit with it. Like, okay, I posted that poster, I launched the course, like, Okay, what does that feel like? Like, and this may feel absolutely ridiculous, but like, sit in the discomfort of feeling the feeling of whatever it is. What does that feel like in my body? Am I having a sensation in my body? Am I having absolutely no sensation in my body? Is my brain going wild? What is my brain saying while it goes wild? Like, the more you sit in that, like, I just did that thing and I'm gonna just sit here for a moment and experience what it's like to do the thing. That's actually where our nervous system starts to calm down and it creates more safety in order to be able to feel more comfortable doing the next big thing and then the next big thing. But you have to pause and get really present in the experience of being exactly where you are right now in order to be able to go to the next step and the next step. Darshna Patel: Wait, I really love that you mentioned that, because I can think of so many times where I have like this one of my innate abilities is to perform without preparation. And it's helped me build my confidence so much. And it's like, I remember the times where I was just like, didn't have a game plan or like whatever. And I just like sat with it or like, maybe I'm like working on self-worth, right? And I like said something that would contradict. Janna Holterman: Mm-hmm. Darshna Patel: Like just this new version of me, like I said something that's like more aligned and I wouldn't feel as worthy before, but I'm like doing something different. And I'm in the moment of that discomfort that I would feel, but I'm like sticking to it. ⁓ Then I would find myself like actually more confident the next time. Cause I was like in it. So that definitely makes a lot of sense. I'm glad that you pointed that out. Cause I'm like, yeah, Janna Holterman: Yeah. Darshna Patel: actually like in order to trust ourselves more and expand capacity and our consciousness in a way where ⁓ we're able to it's actually in the moment it's in the moment and then taking that next step being with it and instead of like trying to ⁓ be in the fear of it or like be in the be with it and grow with it so I love that Janna Holterman: Yeah. Darshna Patel: so much. Okay, my girl, so we are coming up almost an hour. I really value your time. So I want to make sure we wrap it up in a bit. is there anything that you want to share that's in your heart for the people that may have struggled with trusting themselves ⁓ and ⁓ something that, you know, may help just get started in the direction of ⁓ Janna Holterman: Yeah, totally. Darshna Patel: being able to trust themselves more regardless if they train their intuition or not. if you had to leave like ⁓ one piece of advice in the and you had to leave that, what would it be? ⁓ Janna Holterman: Yeah, I think ⁓ it's just important to know that like there's so many tools and resources and things that you could train out there that doesn't necessarily make you any better or worse than anybody else and I think this comes back to like the special and unique fitness thing and the more you lean into even just starting to ask yourself like okay like who am I before the world told me to who to be like what do I actually want how do I take this next step in whatever decision and like make it about what I want to do. What like and I think it's so easy for us to think about you know like our aunt Sally or our parents or our teacher or know whoever when we're making decisions but it's like okay no but like what do I want and then allow yourself to do that and sit with that discomfort like we just talked about that creates that nervous system safety in it and then just Like evaluate check in of like okay, like I did this thing like how is that actually beneficial for me? How is that helping me grow? How is it helping me move forward? Even if it doesn't work out the way that we want to it's still helping you in so many ways You just have to actually pause to find out like find it to find the evidence for it Darshna Patel: I love that. I love that so much. It really just comes back to that unconditional love of like for the self and for our life because we're seeing that everything's like always breaking out. So you're not afraid of making mistakes anymore. You're not afraid to take ⁓ new directions and like really trust yourself and know that, Hey, like I still got my own back no matter what. So I really, really liked that. So ⁓ Janna Holterman: Yeah. Darshna Patel: Obviously, you have a program coming out, which I'm super excited about. really excited for you, girl. I feel like I've gotten to know you and kind of grow with you along the journey. And I know that your intuition program is going to kill it with all the people that are blessed to be able to experience that and ⁓ offering even that to the world because it's ⁓ needed more and more than ever. ⁓ Janna Holterman: Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Darshna Patel: if there's anybody that's listening that, you know, is curious about like, ⁓ well, how can I train my intuition? Like, how can I start to learn to trust myself more than what ⁓ I've already been doing and be able to hack the and like get to where I want to be with intuition? Like, ⁓ what does it look like with you? What's the program Give us all the details. Janna Holterman: Yeah, absolutely. ⁓ honestly everything that we've kind of been talking about in this episode kind of points exactly to What the program is for so intuition fundamentals It is a eight week live intuition course and the whole purpose is truly to connect you in with yourself in with your intuition to Develop that level of self-trust so you stop second-guessing and really stop living in the like, ⁓ I should do this based on everyone else is telling you and actually tuning into yourself and being able to tap into that like, okay, like I know the next step for this path, it's gonna be the most beneficial for me. So each week, so for the eight weeks, we're gonna teach, I'm gonna teach a concept. you're gonna understand it, you're gonna learn about like your particular ways that you receive intuitive information. You're gonna learn about all of them, ⁓ but you're gonna figure out your best ways and then we'll do breakout rooms so you can practice it with other people, other women who are going through like your same situation. And then I'll be going around and kind of like spotting you and helping you. So this is kind of like, you know, learn how to do the exercise and then actually practice and implement and that's gonna help you. Darshna Patel: there. Janna Holterman: develop that deeper connection with yourself and grow it so much faster than just like learning something. I really want that implementation part for you. So it kicks off May 12th. It is gonna be from one to three p.m. Eastern time. you miss a week, it is all recorded and up in the portal, but I highly encourage everybody to attend live so that you get that practice time. So it is again called intuition fundamentals and it is available on my website ⁓ jannaholterman.com slash intuition fundamentals Darshna Patel: Okay. I'm gonna have everything in the description box for you guys as well if you guys are Curious about it and then there will be a 10 % off discount for you guys being part of my community If you guys do decide to enroll like I highly recommend if you want to learn how to fucking trust yourself like learn from the woman who really motherfucking trust herself and her intuition because I mean, I I don't take this shit lightly like I'm very like particular about like who I'm Janna Holterman: Thank you. Darshna Patel: learning from who I'm engaging with, like who I bring on into the podcast. It's always like going to be the best of the best. So I definitely, I mean that girl, like when I say like, I'm always inspired by like how confident you are with your intuition. And I'm like, ⁓ like I know I have that within me too, but you know, it's, it's a journey for everybody. Everybody has their own strengths. Janna Holterman: Thank you. I appreciate that. Darshna Patel: Super excited. Thank you so much for just taking the time to share your wisdom on the podcast today. Guys, if you do want to follow her, all her info will be in the description box. Like definitely hit her up and check out her program. There'll be a 10 % discount code for you guys. But yeah, thank you so much for being on here and I will catch you guys in the next episode. Bye. Janna Holterman: Thank you, bye.