Latest / Sessions Canceled / RPG Horror Stories, Round 2: Ep. 190

Transcript

RPG Horror Stories, Round 2: Ep. 190 · Sessions Canceled

• 0:08
  All right, everybody, So we thought today was going to be a
• 0:18
  normal session. No problems, no craziness, no GM
• 0:20
  bringing in a random rule book no one's read.
• 0:23
  But then it started getting real raunchy.
• 0:26
  Like it Not like you know, the usual, but it like straight
• 0:30
  welcome to fuck town, raunchy and no one.
• 0:33
  This is called a Cthulhu fam. I don't know what the fuck is
• 0:36
  going on. So everyone just got up and left
• 0:40
  connections cancelled. By the way, you fucker, you
• 0:46
  almost caught me with that Mark. Wahlberg with the mark.
• 0:49
  Wahlberg. Good, good, good.
• 0:50
  Almost. You almost caught me, you son of
• 0:52
  a bitch. Good.
• 0:55
  That was the objective, yeah. Oh OK, good, just trying to fuck
• 0:59
  my whole shit up. Good to know.
• 1:01
  Just do something random. I have you.
• 1:08
  OK? This is such a random.
• 1:09
  We haven't even like introduced ourselves yet.
• 1:12
  Have you seen clips from the Ted TV series?
• 1:17
  Probably, but I can't remember any.
• 1:19
  I've watched Ted movie. I've watched the first one.
• 1:23
  Yeah, first one I think is quite funny actually.
• 1:25
  But agreed, there's a whole bit where Brennan Lee Mulligan is D
• 1:29
  Ming for them. What the fuck?
• 1:31
  And, and it takes place in the 80s, right?
• 1:33
  It's like, it's, it's, it's Ted and John when they're kids,
• 1:36
  right, Right. And, and like, yeah, Brennan Lee
• 1:38
  Mulligan's like a running through of like a fucking AD and
• 1:41
  D section. At some point, Ted's like, can I
• 1:45
  hit you? And he's like the, the, the lich
• 1:47
  has disappeared. He's like, no, no, can I roll to
• 1:49
  hit you? And he was like, well, that's
• 1:52
  not how this worked. Like they're, they're just sort
• 1:53
  of like a, a dichotomy. And he rolls like, I rolled A20.
• 1:56
  What does that mean? And he's like, oh, no.
• 1:58
  And he's like, well, you have to roll to see if you can.
• 2:01
  I rolled another 20. Oh, OK.
• 2:04
  Well, you prepare to roll your strike.
• 2:07
  And then he rolls again. He's like, I rolled A1.
• 2:09
  What does that mean? And then it just cuts like it.
• 2:11
  Like, it shows a scene of like, the inside of the DND campaign
• 2:14
  and Ted playing a teddy bird fucking explodes.
• 2:19
  Like stuffing goes everywhere. That's.
• 2:26
  Stupid. It's it's really dumb, but it's
• 2:29
  extremely funny. All righty then.
• 2:33
  Yeah, it's odd anyway. The main thing I remember, in
• 2:36
  fact the main thing I remember from the Ted movie, is him
• 2:38
  banging the chick in the freezer at the grocery store.
• 2:41
  Yes, yes, on like on the carrots or something on.
• 2:46
  The vegetables. The thing I remember is the the
• 2:51
  one where he's like, he goes through John's laptop and he's
• 2:55
  like John, there's just gigabytes of born, what the
• 3:00
  fuck, man? And he's like, look, I'd like
• 3:03
  I'd like to keep things orderly instead of reading off some of
• 3:06
  the tags. And he's like, what is the
• 3:08
  difference? Yep, movie is so stupid.
• 3:19
  Yes, very. Oh my God.
• 3:25
  Anyway, welcome back to the sessions against the podcast.
• 3:29
  It's to be Isaiah. I'm here with Josh.
• 3:31
  I'm I'm, I'm here. I'm I I Soul is willing, but the
• 3:36
  body is weak on this one. All right, bro, the body was
• 3:39
  weak. Yeah, I'm going to keep it a
• 3:42
  buck, y'all. I was also feeling real low
• 3:45
  effort this week. So we're going to do a Part 2 of
• 3:47
  the horror stories. And there are some, there are
• 3:54
  some here that are really just just a lot.
• 4:00
  It's just, it's a lot, you know? And you're just gonna have to to
• 4:07
  buckle it and sit here with us and listen to some nonsense.
• 4:11
  Before you do that, though, follow us on your podcast
• 4:15
  platform of choice. And if you'd like Rapo Sedono at
• 4:18
  our Kofi would appreciate. But before we get into it, I
• 4:30
  just, I thought today was actually going to be easier than
• 4:36
  and it ended up being because they post a bajillion RPG horror
• 4:42
  stories to Reddit like a day basically.
• 4:45
  So I was like, surely, surely this will be a nice cakewalk.
• 4:49
  I'll be done in like an hour. I can let you know, keep
• 4:52
  applying to jobs. I can do my tax stuff.
• 4:56
  You know, I, I spent like almost five hours today looking through
• 5:00
  stories because so many of them are like, this is the worst
• 5:03
  thing that's ever happened to me.
• 5:05
  And then it's like. Not that bad.
• 5:07
  My GM said that I wasn't allowed to play a fighter and you're
• 5:11
  like, Nope, OK. All right, I mean the I mean,
• 5:19
  yes, a lot of them are are bunk ass stories or like barely a
• 5:23
  thing. The other thing, the other the
• 5:27
  other problem that you run into is sometimes you just get
• 5:30
  weirdly engrossed in the reading people stupid nonsense and so
• 5:34
  you end up reading longer than you expected.
• 5:37
  Yeah, I and like some of them. Some of them are really good.
• 5:42
  Like, not that many new ones actually get posted that
• 5:45
  regularly is kind of The funny thing.
• 5:47
  Like there's not that that many and it's as as infamous as the
• 5:51
  subreddit is. There's not as many as you might
• 5:53
  expect, you know. I don't know.
• 5:58
  It was quite let me, let me, let me, let me do a quick.
• 6:00
  Like there's a good amount, but like.
• 6:02
  Quick and and. Like I was expecting it'd be
• 6:05
  like 100 in a day and it's like nowhere close to that.
• 6:13
  Let's see airplane. Oh, see, there was one there was
• 6:21
  one in here that I'm I'm looking at it right now that I wanted to
• 6:24
  add, but it's like a dissertation.
• 6:29
  Oh, because you know how it's it's it's it's separated into
• 6:31
  like medium long, very long. This one was not designated as
• 6:36
  very long and it was like an essay and I was like this, this
• 6:40
  is a great, this is a wild story.
• 6:42
  But I I'm not sitting here reading this for 20.
• 6:45
  Minutes to take, too damn long to read, yeah.
• 6:51
  All right, you know, I know to to your point, there was 15
• 6:54
  today. OK.
• 6:55
  Yeah. So, like, not that's what I
• 6:56
  mean. Like not as crazy as you might
• 6:58
  think, Yeah. I wonder if it's because the
• 7:05
  idea of like the green text Horror Story, and at this point
• 7:07
  the Reddit Horror Story is so ubiquitous that like people want
• 7:11
  to tell a story, but it's been done so many times before that
• 7:13
  they're like, maybe I just won't.
• 7:15
  Yeah, I, I think that's some of it.
• 7:16
  I also think it's a case of the stories get dispersed into other
• 7:21
  places a lot of the time. Like people might just bitch
• 7:24
  about something that could be a RPG Horror Story but they just
• 7:28
  post it on like the regular R/RPG or like regular R/D and D
• 7:32
  next or something like that. True.
• 7:36
  I do you ever like you ever read them and you're like, this
• 7:40
  doesn't feel real. You know what I mean?
• 7:42
  Sometimes, yeah, yeah. For sure.
• 7:46
  There were a couple where like, it's like GM crashes out and
• 7:49
  it's describing like just full odd, like a, a first and second
• 7:54
  degree crime. There's like there's one or two
• 7:56
  in here that I'm like by the end I'm like, I don't know if I buy
• 7:58
  this, but Edie wasn't right. Yeah.
• 8:02
  And then you're like, I don't really want to talk about it
• 8:04
  because if it is, if it is fake, then I'm just going to look
• 8:06
  stupid, so. OK.
• 8:09
  Yeah, but also who cares because no one can really prove if it's
• 8:12
  fake or not, so whatever. True, true.
• 8:16
  So fuck it if it's at least an amusing story.
• 8:18
  I don't know, that's kind of the entirety of our slash paranormal
• 8:22
  so. I've never heard of our slash
• 8:25
  paranormal. It's exactly what it sounds
• 8:27
  like. Just a bunch of people sharing
• 8:30
  ghost stories and people being like that's cap, and then
• 8:32
  someone's saying you can't prove that it is.
• 8:34
  I mean, you wish it was only ghost stories.
• 8:38
  Oh, it's every type of paranormal thing under the sun,
• 8:43
  my guy. Aliens.
• 8:46
  Fair enough. Ghosts, demons, the whole
• 8:51
  shebang. Baby kitchen sink.
• 8:54
  Baby kitchen sink. What if you want your Oh God.
• 8:59
  What's your? What's your under and over on
• 9:00
  Ghosts? You want the the quick answer on
• 9:06
  this or. No, there are multiple tiers to
• 9:11
  this. Yes, give me the quick answer.
• 9:14
  Like they probably are a thing, but not in the way that most
• 9:20
  people describe or think about it.
• 9:21
  Is is kind of where I land. OK, Like it's interesting.
• 9:25
  It's probably more of like a a resonant energy from people who
• 9:31
  die leftover, leaving some sort of imprint on like an atomic
• 9:37
  level. Like I, I, I, I rationalize it
• 9:41
  in a in a in a semi scientific train of thought where I'm like.
• 9:45
  I was going to say this, This feels very Momo and Okarun
• 9:47
  because I'm like ghosts. That's bullshit.
• 9:50
  Aliens, though? Absolutely real.
• 9:52
  It's kind of like, well, it's, it's, it's ghosts.
• 9:55
  I kind of feel like it's, if it were to be anything, the thing
• 9:59
  that I would latch onto is it's, it's we as humanity don't fully
• 10:06
  understand the idea of, of consciousness and like how
• 10:09
  consciousness is created and like what makes things conscious
• 10:13
  versus not and all that, right? We, it's a very, it's like a gap
• 10:16
  in our knowledge that no one has a good answer to.
• 10:18
  And that gap makes you think like, all right, that's probably
• 10:22
  kind of where the idea of a ghost operates.
• 10:24
  Like somewhere in that, in that weird, like we don't know
• 10:27
  exactly how consciousness works. So it's the idea of like an
• 10:31
  imprinting of somebody dies and they leave an imprint of their
• 10:36
  consciousness or an imprint on your consciousness that affects
• 10:40
  you in some kind of way. But I don't necessarily think
• 10:42
  it's like souls. You know you believe in like
• 10:48
  hauntings for example. Sort of kinda, but again, I
• 10:52
  don't think it's like when it's like, oh, it's the poltergeist
• 10:56
  and the fucking chair flew across the room and the priest's
• 10:58
  Ned turned around. I don't believe in any of that
• 11:00
  bullshit. But the very low level stuff of
• 11:02
  like, I got this weird impression, like my mom was
• 11:05
  watching me and then her favorite song came on.
• 11:08
  Like that kind of shit. I'm kind of like maybe?
• 11:12
  You know what I mean? Interesting.
• 11:13
  Yeah. Yeah, I get you.
• 11:14
  Varying degrees. Aliens.
• 11:16
  However, aliens are absolutely a thing.
• 11:18
  Do I think they're on the planet?
• 11:20
  Probably not. I dude, I love when when the
• 11:24
  fucking, when the White House were like aliens exist and at
• 11:28
  one point you're like. They said you have this.
• 11:32
  Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry, they said.
• 11:34
  Yeah. Very important.
• 11:37
  You are UAP now? Yes, UAP S.
• 11:39
  OK. Very important distinction.
• 11:41
  Though they said UAP S are absolutely a thing, they did not
• 11:44
  say aliens exist. And I know that might feel like
• 11:48
  my new show, but it's a very important distinction.
• 11:51
  No, I mean, I think it makes sense to say we saw something.
• 11:54
  We don't know where it is, but we.
• 11:55
  Definitely saw something versus being like, no, there's like
• 11:58
  demonstrable concrete evidence that there are extraterrestrial
• 12:01
  life forms. Fair enough.
• 12:02
  Yeah, but you know you. Just think about it.
• 12:06
  It's some somewhere. Mathematically.
• 12:09
  The chance that Shai Hulut exists on some planet somewhere
• 12:12
  in the universe is kind of wild. Yeah, and the chance is not 0.
• 12:17
  Yeah, it's incredibly small, but it's not 0 so.
• 12:20
  It's arguably maybe not even that small when you start doing
• 12:23
  the math. That's kind of the weird part
• 12:28
  because there are so many planets in the in the Galaxy
• 12:31
  that like the number gets big quick, like bigger than you'd
• 12:35
  think. You know what I mean?
• 12:38
  It's weird when you start, when you start hearing people talk
• 12:41
  about the math behind that kind of shit.
• 12:42
  It gets into like all kinds of hard to comprehend sorts of
• 12:46
  place. Do you know about all the this
• 12:48
  is I can't, I can't I I'll be going on for too long.
• 12:52
  We need to. There's a lot of theories about
• 12:54
  the Fermi paradox and, and why it's a thing.
• 12:56
  And there's an. Answer to it I was about to
• 12:59
  bring up the frame paradox because I love, I love the like
• 13:05
  the, the, the, the cosmic horror of the Fermi paradox.
• 13:12
  But I also think it's really funny how everything that we've
• 13:18
  seen for the last 100 odd years sort of implies that the Fermi
• 13:24
  paradox is bullshit. You know, maybe, which maybe
• 13:31
  like also though, humans have given me a little hope for the
• 13:34
  universe. Humans have been seeing UFOs
• 13:37
  since like, the early biblical days.
• 13:41
  Yeah. So it's also not that recent.
• 13:44
  Listen again, don't get me on this.
• 13:46
  I I could go down this for a long time.
• 13:47
  Don't get me on this. It's not.
• 13:50
  It's not what we're talking about.
• 13:54
  No, no, I But, you know, some of these things will make you wish.
• 14:00
  This is what we were talking about.
• 14:02
  Yeah. Talking about you.
• 14:03
  So some of these things might make you wish we were talking
• 14:05
  about how Bigfoot might be an alien.
• 14:08
  I'd buy that. There's a, There's a.
• 14:12
  Great study that says viruses are inherently alien because
• 14:16
  they don't. They don't behave in any way
• 14:20
  that that any other thing on the planet behaves.
• 14:24
  Like yes, are viruses technically alive?
• 14:28
  Are they organisms or are they just coded DNA that cannot
• 14:32
  technically be called alive like?
• 14:35
  Well, that's also that's also when you get into the weird
• 14:38
  discussion of octopuses might be aliens.
• 14:42
  I haven't heard that one before. Yeah, yeah.
• 14:47
  I, I was, I was watching a great video.
• 14:51
  The guy on it is a microbiologist and he basically
• 14:55
  is like he he had like this whole video where he talked
• 15:00
  about how allergies are actually like an extremely recent thing,
• 15:04
  like last 200 years recent thing.
• 15:09
  I've heard that before, yes. Readily available bacterium and
• 15:13
  parasites in the human body that were either benign or otherwise.
• 15:17
  That most humans had an extremely suppressed immune
• 15:19
  system or millennia. And now that we've we're so
• 15:25
  hyper medicated that if we ever wanted to go to space, we would
• 15:29
  have to learn how to introduce benign viruses or bacteria into
• 15:34
  the human system that are just completely symbiotic.
• 15:38
  Well, yeah, you basically, you basically have to vaccinate
• 15:41
  yourself from the different kinds of shit that you would run
• 15:43
  into on a different planet. Yeah.
• 15:46
  And that's, that's kind of wild to think about how recent
• 15:51
  allergies could be. I I don't think that's quite AI.
• 15:54
  I've heard that before. I don't know if that's like a
• 15:56
  super settled, everyone is on the same page or like, you know,
• 15:59
  researchers are on the same page on that one.
• 16:01
  But I have heard this idea that like, yeah, allergies are a more
• 16:03
  recent issue. I have to.
• 16:06
  As soon as somebody says that, though, I start thinking about
• 16:09
  all the other potential things that could put poke holes in
• 16:14
  that. And I'm like, OK.
• 16:16
  No, so the one, the one you can poke holes in that's really
• 16:18
  funny is I hate when these fucking health gurus, 99% of
• 16:23
  which are full of shit, are like everything back into like the
• 16:27
  Romans and the Egyptians. Why they didn't have the the
• 16:29
  issues that we have. And you're like my brother.
• 16:32
  Diabetes was a killer of Egyptian kings.
• 16:36
  It was the rich man's disease because all they ate was fucking
• 16:40
  sweet bread, cookies and beer. What are you talking about?
• 16:46
  Well, yeah, it's like when people bring up increased
• 16:49
  chronic health and it's like, well, a lot of that also comes
• 16:51
  down to the fact that we live longer and we survive things
• 16:55
  that we would not have survived before.
• 16:56
  So we get more chronic issues because we have less acute
• 16:59
  issues. Have you Have you ever heard the
• 17:02
  story of Let's see? That sounds familiar.
• 17:07
  Let's see the Iceman. He was like the, the oh.
• 17:09
  Oh, oh, odds not your Yes, yes, yes, Otzi.
• 17:17
  I I've heard it pronounced. Let's see.
• 17:18
  I don't know. Oh.
• 17:19
  OK, I thought it was Otzi. But yes, I don't know who you're
• 17:22
  talking about. The fact that he had like, what
• 17:26
  we could like nowadays understand is lumbago and like
• 17:30
  and like arthritis in his knees just because of like the wearer.
• 17:32
  And it's like these things always existed.
• 17:35
  Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, the same. People who are like, no, the
• 17:40
  Spartans were really straight, alpha, masculine men, and you're
• 17:43
  like, oh baby, I don't know how to tell you.
• 17:46
  Boy have I got news for you, bud.
• 17:50
  Puts hand on his shoulder. The the anime with the By the
• 17:54
  way, you ever looked up the original clip of where that
• 17:58
  beeps from? No, I haven't.
• 18:01
  OK, if you you should look. It's not hard to find.
• 18:03
  You should look it up. You would think that that meme
• 18:05
  picture is exaggerated, like they drew it more ridiculous.
• 18:09
  No, it looks exactly like that in the show.
• 18:11
  That doesn't surprise me. It's just.
• 18:13
  As is it's from like in the like mid 80s or something.
• 18:17
  It's just a weird like anime. So yeah, it looks so gona guy
• 18:21
  that I'm like. Yeah, yes, that's exactly what
• 18:24
  the vibe is. Oh God.
• 18:27
  All right, all right. Game face on.
• 18:29
  Game face on. All.
• 18:31
  Right, so we're like much like last time, we have a list.
• 18:33
  We're not going to read them, you know, numerically.
• 18:35
  We're going to jump around a little bit.
• 18:37
  I'm going to read some. I'm just going to read some.
• 18:40
  I do want to start off with this first one because this one was
• 18:42
  making the rounds on social media and it just, it has me in
• 18:46
  fucking tears. Oh God I love this one.
• 18:58
  Yep Yep Yep. This one is titled titled A
• 19:04
  Gross Character Idea. A content warning for, I don't
• 19:07
  know, bodily fluids? Text character idea.
• 19:12
  I've been cooking up a female elf wizard.
• 19:14
  Nothing on paper yet, just in my mind, but the idea is something
• 19:18
  like this. When the wizard was but a mere
• 19:20
  child, she either fell in a magical cauldron, asterisk and
• 19:24
  Oblex style, or was dipped in the cauldron by her mother
• 19:27
  Achilles heel style. And somehow, some way, she now
• 19:30
  has magical pee. If you look online you'll be
• 19:34
  able to find or maybe you're already familiar with AD 10,000
• 19:39
  Wild magic table. And my idea was, if this
• 19:42
  homebrew gets approved of course, that she'd be able to
• 19:45
  conjure a potion a day or something.
• 19:48
  I can foresee this leading to fun interactions overall, her
• 19:52
  being ashamed of this, not wanting to show the party how
• 19:54
  she gets them. And that's not even Speaking of
• 19:58
  the fun outcomes you get to play on as Adm when we roll the D
• 20:01
  10,000 wild magic table. Otherwise I could probably play
• 20:04
  like a Gobblino fighter extra. I have about two years of
• 20:08
  experience playing a long term campaign as a rogue with a
• 20:10
  couple of one shots here and there.
• 20:14
  That's it. That's the text.
• 20:15
  I hate it. I hate it so much, dog.
• 20:17
  I hate it so much and. Yes, I know this isn't a Horror
• 20:24
  Story in the contemporary text. It's it's a Horror Story for me
• 20:29
  personally. I just the description of the
• 20:34
  pose I love because it says. I recently posted an LFP post
• 20:39
  for a swashbuckling campaign of mine and this is one of the
• 20:42
  first messages I got blocked almost.
• 20:45
  Yeah, like I could you imagine you put up a looking for group
• 20:53
  post and then someone at first, you know, you, you wake.
• 20:58
  Let's I just let's I want you to picture the scene.
• 21:01
  I have no idea if this is the scene, but we're just going to
• 21:02
  make up a scene here. We picture the scene.
• 21:04
  Right, right, right, right, right.
• 21:05
  GM post looking for players. Post goes to bed, awakens the
• 21:10
  next morning, says good morning to their fucking cat, feeds them
• 21:14
  a little bit, takes a piss, goes over to the coffee maker, opens
• 21:18
  up the old phone and they get hit with the piss wizard.
• 21:24
  Before. Before.
• 21:25
  The coffee machine is even. Warm the the pissard, as someone
• 21:31
  calls it the. Pissard the.
• 21:38
  Pissard dude, some of these comments are gold.
• 21:42
  The piss potion wizard. Like why would you?
• 21:48
  Why? Oh, and then the fact that
• 21:52
  you're like, you're like, I'm going to make it.
• 21:54
  I'm going to use the D 10,000 wild magic table.
• 21:57
  And like, So what we're telling what you're telling me is not
• 22:01
  only is the piss magical, it causes like reality bending
• 22:06
  madness to occur. I mean like you're pissing out
• 22:09
  fireballs. Like what does this even mean?
• 22:12
  And like, well, no, she's she's pissing into potion flasks.
• 22:17
  Which I. Just that's side note, if if
• 22:21
  this is a female character, that's gonna be a little tricky
• 22:27
  look. Wizard, what's that brass funnel
• 22:30
  you keep on your waist? All times not the brass funnel.
• 22:38
  Oh my God, why? Why does it look kind of like a
• 22:40
  commode? Don't ask, don't worry about.
• 22:42
  It. Oh my God.
• 22:43
  Oh my Lord. Yeah.
• 22:45
  Like, man, you could have at least I feel like if you made it
• 22:48
  a male, a male wizard, that would have made this slightly
• 22:51
  less weird 'cause some drunk old wizard pissing.
• 22:54
  Yes, only because only because some drunk old man wizard
• 22:59
  pissing into bottles and turning it into magic potions sounds
• 23:03
  like some dumb Jackass shit post thing a drunk man at a bar would
• 23:06
  do Something about it being a lady pissing into the post
• 23:09
  bottles makes it worse, you know, like.
• 23:14
  I I don't want to agree with you but I just rewatched the 2007
• 23:19
  classic Penguin movie Surfs up where Jeff Bridges character has
• 23:23
  to pee on the the fucking sea urchin thing.
• 23:25
  He's like no no don't worry I learned this from an old
• 23:27
  medicine man decades ago. This totally works every time.
• 23:32
  So like, that's what I mean. Yeah, I guess you're fucking
• 23:34
  right, but I don't like it. I also, you know what really
• 23:38
  seals the deal on the on the on the piss potion wizard.
• 23:41
  What's up that last little bit of Or I could probably play a
• 23:45
  Goblino fighter like, yeah. Yeah, like.
• 23:48
  What? I.
• 23:51
  The way that they were. Like that would make me that
• 23:54
  that line if I was reading this as the GM, that would make me so
• 23:59
  mad. Crash.
• 24:00
  Out to read to like that is my crash out.
• 24:04
  All of this shit. I'm reading in utter disbelief
• 24:08
  because it's not, you know, it's like, oh, the authors, didn't
• 24:10
  they veiled fetish. There's nothing veiled about
• 24:12
  this. No veil.
• 24:13
  Absolutely. You're giving me this absolute
• 24:17
  bullshit at 8:30 in the morning and then you're like fucking
• 24:21
  stupider and then you go or I could just play like a goblin or
• 24:24
  whatever. I'm fuck, I'm beating my phone
• 24:27
  as hard as I can all before. All before the coffee pot is
• 24:32
  warm. Baby, you ain't even had a
• 24:34
  minute. I'm not.
• 24:36
  I can't like, you know what? It's literally the epitome of
• 24:39
  the the Attack on Titan meme where the dude leads in and says
• 24:42
  some wild and shit to Aaron and he goes what?
• 24:45
  And he goes, sorry, that was that was a weird thing to say.
• 24:51
  It's literally that beat. It's literally.
• 24:55
  Hey, so did you know that I I kind of want to play a wizard?
• 24:58
  Then you dip her foot, you dip into a College in my early heel
• 25:00
  or whatever, and then she can piss magic potions.
• 25:03
  What? All right, that was a weird
• 25:04
  thing to say. Can I play a goblin fighter?
• 25:05
  Can I? Play a goblin fighter.
• 25:07
  Get out of get out of my get out of my Discord server, get out.
• 25:09
  Oh. God I love that beat by the way.
• 25:17
  I do, I love that meme. That's.
• 25:19
  A great meme. For me, I think it says the RNS
• 25:22
  to hear this, I have a great character idea and this is a
• 25:23
  great character idea. So we have a wizard, right?
• 25:25
  She's a wizard. And then her mom like dipped her
• 25:27
  in a magic cauldron or whatever. Maybe it's like a hex or
• 25:30
  something like that. And then when they pulled her
• 25:31
  out, she pissed. Magic potions, dude.
• 25:35
  Jesse, what the fuck are you talking about?
• 25:36
  What the fuck are you talking about?
• 25:42
  Who starts a conversation like this?
• 25:43
  I just sat down. Yeah, who starts a conversation
• 25:47
  like this? I just sat down.
• 25:52
  Oh. My God.
• 25:54
  OK. The fact that they.
• 25:56
  Came up with the whole. Story and shit.
• 25:58
  I can't. Yes, I I love the also the extra
• 26:01
  I've got two years of experience playing a rogue.
• 26:04
  I don't get out of my face. Fuck off.
• 26:06
  OK? What are you?
• 26:07
  What are you doing? If someone comes to you with
• 26:11
  this idea, what are you Josh doing?
• 26:13
  No, no, no, no. Just know.
• 26:16
  I don't know what. Because here's the thing, if I
• 26:19
  say to this person, no, you can't do that, give me another
• 26:23
  idea. I don't trust them to not make
• 26:25
  something else fucking. Weird as shit.
• 26:28
  They're just going to come to me with like, oh, the Goblino
• 26:30
  fighter is also a pedophile and be like, what?
• 26:33
  What do? You mean yeah, they they just
• 26:35
  shit to spell good. Barry and I feed it to my
• 26:37
  friends. Yeah, like they're going to.
• 26:39
  Come up with something. Insane.
• 26:40
  Immediately I'm just. I don't trust.
• 26:42
  You Oh my God, look, I'm I'm going to call out a group of
• 26:45
  people. This is like Matt's players with
• 26:46
  like feeding people that you on tea jerky.
• 26:49
  This is kind of being on that level weird.
• 26:53
  It's just jerky. What's the problem?
• 26:55
  I bro that I that would be my crash out.
• 26:57
  I'd be like, no, I no, that's cannibalism.
• 27:00
  I refuse. I'm not letting this shit happen
• 27:02
  and. Like also don't do this as DND
• 27:08
  brother there's other games you got.
• 27:10
  Go play Vampire the Masquerade, they're probably more willing to
• 27:12
  do creepy shit. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
• 27:16
  You know what I mean? You know what I mean?
• 27:18
  No. What?
• 27:18
  No, no. You're not calling my people out
• 27:20
  like this. No, we are not.
• 27:23
  I'm not saying I'm not saying the pissing specifically, I'm
• 27:26
  just saying like ejecting weird fetish thing into your
• 27:29
  character, you know? Like DND is really probably not
• 27:32
  going to help you there. Hi, I don't know, dawg.
• 27:36
  I feel like this is something for like, oh God, what's that?
• 27:39
  What's that one really problematic game?
• 27:41
  I can't remember what it's called.
• 27:43
  The one fatal. Fatal.
• 27:45
  Yeah, this feels like a fatal thing.
• 27:46
  That's not. Yeah, but you can't use FATAL
• 27:48
  because FATAL is not a playable fucking game.
• 27:52
  I mean, it is a game that you can play.
• 27:54
  It doesn't function well, but you can in theory play it.
• 27:57
  Yeah, I mean, I guess you could play it in the most fucking in
• 28:03
  the most generous version of the word, I suppose.
• 28:05
  Sure, yeah. Oh my God, I, I'm freaking out.
• 28:13
  I'm I'm no, I'm not freaking out.
• 28:14
  I'm literally just going to be like, you need to find another
• 28:17
  table. I'm not doing this.
• 28:19
  I don't know, yeah. Or, or I'm going to be like,
• 28:22
  yes, you are going to play a goblin fighter and I swear to
• 28:26
  God, you better keep your ass within smelling distance because
• 28:29
  if I get as like a single thing that's even the slightest bit
• 28:34
  sketch, I am blowing you up, not your character.
• 28:39
  I am shipping you a pipe bomb. Oh God.
• 28:45
  All right. Now, now that we got that one
• 28:50
  out of the way, is there one that you would like to read?
• 28:55
  I. Do you want me to just read the
• 28:57
  next one? Because it fucking took me out.
• 29:01
  I kind of do. I'm not going to lie.
• 29:03
  OK, OK. I mean the title says it all on
• 29:10
  this one. DM made sexual jokes about my
• 29:13
  character. Oh yeah, and he's also my dad.
• 29:22
  Oh. Yeah, I I've been sitting on
• 29:24
  this story for a while now and I think I finally, I'm finally
• 29:27
  ready to tell it. So here we go.
• 29:29
  So this happened a year ago, a year or two ago.
• 29:32
  Me 17 male at the time and my dad DM 52 male also at the time.
• 29:45
  So this was happening in a Star Wars themed TTRPG.
• 29:48
  My character was a 19 year old mechanic and I decided because
• 29:53
  because I thought it would be funny to make him deathly afraid
• 29:56
  of women. The whole thing started when we
• 29:59
  were raiding A galactic pirate base and my character kind of
• 30:03
  caused the entire place to blow up.
• 30:05
  Bit sense but since then I assume that's supposed to be but
• 30:10
  but since then my dad slash DM decided to have the pirate cap.
• 30:13
  The pirate captain constantly sexually harass my character via
• 30:18
  the hologram messages and bounty boards and I've said before that
• 30:21
  it makes me uncomfortable that my dad was sexualizing his
• 30:24
  underage son's TTRPG character. A few games later and it
• 30:29
  continues and I've had enough because everyone was laughing
• 30:31
  about my character getting sexually harassed so I straight
• 30:34
  up said he if he didn't stop I'd leave the group and cut all
• 30:37
  contact with my dad. Lucky it worked out, lucky lucky
• 30:42
  it worked. But how everyone was dismissing
• 30:45
  the whole thing by saying it was just a joke really upset me and
• 30:48
  I don't think I'll ever forgive my dad for it.
• 30:50
  And it was also on live stream so that.
• 30:54
  Makes it even. More humiliating.
• 30:58
  Wow my brother find this live stream so bad.
• 31:04
  My brother in Christ, bro. Wow, that Latins that do you?
• 31:11
  Wow, you buried the lead on that one.
• 31:13
  Yeah. Oh my.
• 31:16
  God, no. I just, I don't.
• 31:22
  I don't. I just what the fuck is going
• 31:27
  through your dad's head? I would be.
• 31:30
  So if I was this man's wife I would be or maybe X wipe
• 31:35
  whatever the kids mom. So X wiped.
• 31:38
  Oh my God, dude. Like, yeah, like, OK, doing it
• 31:46
  once or I used to think doing it once or twice to fuck with your
• 31:49
  son a little bit, like goof on the character.
• 31:51
  Fine. After he says, like, can you
• 31:53
  stop? That was a little much.
• 31:55
  That should have been the end of it.
• 31:56
  That's it. Like doing it once is like a
• 31:59
  quick little goof and specifying that you're directing at the
• 32:03
  character. Fine.
• 32:05
  I'll let the one weird awkward joke from Dadslide because like
• 32:08
  our I do shit like that sometimes.
• 32:10
  Fine, but it should have stopped there.
• 32:13
  The fact that it pressed on is crazy, and the fact that
• 32:16
  everyone else was like it's fine.
• 32:18
  What? What?
• 32:20
  Yeah, no, I don't like there. Yeah, there.
• 32:23
  There's fucking with your kid and there's like, how do you
• 32:31
  make it to 52 and have a son and not under?
• 32:36
  How do you not get boundaries like this?
• 32:38
  This is like fucking Céline Dion and her husband.
• 32:41
  Like what? I don't check this hard drive.
• 32:48
  Look at his ass. I'm done.
• 32:50
  Yeah. Like I would be very concerned.
• 32:52
  I'd be very concerned about what other weird shit he might be
• 32:57
  like doing. I don't.
• 32:58
  Yeah, because like, sure, nothing explicitly bad happened
• 33:03
  in this scenario, but it just feels like a weird gateway to
• 33:09
  something worse. This like, if I'm being
• 33:13
  generous, this feels like, you know, the, like, Boomer humour.
• 33:16
  Like, yeah, he says he hates it, but he loves it.
• 33:20
  He thinks it's funny. And it's like, no, you're
• 33:23
  traumatizing your child. Stop doing that.
• 33:29
  Oh my God live stream online. Oh yeah the live stream part is
• 33:33
  great. No I just found out I just saw a
• 33:34
  random comment from OP and they said I don't think he properly
• 33:38
  apologized and he's not like that all the time but he does
• 33:41
  make a lot of sexual jokes and comments out of nowhere.
• 33:44
  What does that mean? I.
• 33:48
  Don't know. I've had I've had family members
• 33:50
  who are like I, I look, I had an uncle who was kind of a perv,
• 33:55
  even the members of the family and you're like, this is like
• 33:58
  you're 80 and like it is what it is.
• 34:00
  I guess. I mean, it's not, it's not, it
• 34:02
  is what it is, but like, what am I going to say?
• 34:04
  You're fucking 80 and you've got a failing liver.
• 34:05
  Like I don't what could I possibly do to you?
• 34:09
  True. So I'm trying to be hopeful and
• 34:15
  assume that it's just like dad doesn't get joke, like doesn't
• 34:19
  get that the joke is funny anymore, but.
• 34:21
  Dad doesn't get why it's uncomfortable.
• 34:23
  Yeah, yeah. But.
• 34:28
  Yeah, I knew that one was going to get you.
• 34:37
  I was. I was very excited.
• 34:39
  The live stream part really sent me into another dimension.
• 34:42
  Like why was it even being live stream?
• 34:44
  I have I have follow up questions.
• 34:50
  Just to be feeling a little bit like a Co meloning, I'm not
• 34:52
  going to lie. I don't know if it's quite that,
• 34:57
  but I can see why you might have that in your brain.
• 35:03
  Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep. All right, those that's sort of
• 35:08
  short. I feel they're good start-ups.
• 35:10
  I did. I did want to read this one
• 35:12
  because this one makes me just. It's fucked.
• 35:15
  But it it the number four or OK yeah all right.
• 35:25
  Another player made an AI chat bot of my character and claims
• 35:28
  they're in a relationship text. Hey y'all sorry for the throw
• 35:35
  away. Wait, wait, what?
• 35:38
  Oh yeah, no, no, the player and the character not not.
• 35:41
  OK. Yeah.
• 35:42
  OK. OK.
• 35:42
  I heard you right. Yeah yeah yeah, that's all you
• 35:45
  did. Sorry for the throwaway, I'm
• 35:49
  still just absolutely dumbstruck that this happened and could
• 35:53
  really use some advice here. I joined a campaign at my LGSI
• 35:57
  don't know what that is about 8 months ago.
• 35:59
  For context, I am a gay man playing an elf warlock who is
• 36:04
  who is also a gay man. This is unfortunately relevant.
• 36:09
  Things were going pretty well so far, no major complaints.
• 36:15
  That's a great line. This is unfortunately relevant.
• 36:19
  That's a great line. The wording on this one is
• 36:21
  magical. No major complaints, or so I
• 36:25
  thought. After our most recent session on
• 36:28
  Saturday, however, I got a text from one of the other players,
• 36:31
  let's call her Sarah, who said she needed to ask me for a
• 36:35
  favor. She always seemed pretty chill
• 36:37
  and friendly before this, so I considered us friends, so I was
• 36:40
  like, sure, what's up? Sarah then told me that over the
• 36:43
  past few months, she'd been recreating my warlock in
• 36:46
  ChatGPT. She's been feeding the AI my
• 36:49
  character's back story, personality, and even events of
• 36:52
  the campaign so it would act in response in character.
• 36:57
  Apparently she had been talking to it for months as herself, not
• 37:02
  the character, and then she went on.
• 37:07
  She went on to say that she had developed romantic feelings for
• 37:11
  the AI, which it apparently reciprocated and they were now
• 37:15
  in a relationship. She is dating a chat bot of my
• 37:20
  DND character. She linked me a bunch of
• 37:24
  articles and stuff about people forming relationships with chat,
• 37:28
  TPT, and even a subreddit for people who marry chat bots.
• 37:33
  It is and insists that this is a very real and serious
• 37:38
  relationship that means a lot to her.
• 37:40
  She even sent me screenshots of some of her messages with the
• 37:43
  bot. And then the kicker?
• 37:46
  She asked me if I could change my character's sexuality in the
• 37:49
  campaign itself because the ChatGPT version of him is
• 37:53
  heterosexual and the idea of her boyfriend not being attracted to
• 37:57
  her was hurting her feelings. I left her unread and still have
• 38:03
  absolutely no idea how to respond.
• 38:06
  Even if it is a joke or a prank. I feel weirdly violated and
• 38:10
  creeped out and honestly I'm not sure I even want to go to next
• 38:14
  session. Seriously, what the fuck do I
• 38:16
  do? Update Hi everyone, thank you
• 38:20
  for your responses. Sorry for not for.
• 38:24
  Sorry for a not very exciting update.
• 38:26
  I did end up dropping the campaign as the idea of seeing
• 38:29
  Sarah in person made me super anxious and uncomfortable.
• 38:32
  I messaged my DM and showed her the screenshots of my text with
• 38:35
  Sarah and she was 100% on my side which is good.
• 38:39
  She agreed it was really creepy and offered to talk to Sarah,
• 38:42
  but I told her I would honestly prefer just to drop the campaign
• 38:45
  and she felt bad but understood. I'm not sure if Sarah's going to
• 38:48
  be allowed to stay in the game, but I do know the DM is going to
• 38:51
  let the store manager know what happened.
• 38:53
  As for me, I think I honestly just need to take a break from
• 38:56
  DND for a while after this. Dude.
• 39:04
  The level. There's so many.
• 39:06
  Things going on. There's so many things going on
• 39:09
  here. There's it's so much, bro, it's
• 39:11
  so much. So many layers to this like can
• 39:15
  you totally fair to be like I don't want to play in the game
• 39:20
  with this person anymore entirely no, because in an
• 39:24
  incredibly weird. This is such a Oh my God, this
• 39:28
  is such a a like 21st century weird fucking only with
• 39:36
  technology could we land in this position.
• 39:38
  Like she she I don't even like. I'm trying to think of what to
• 39:45
  even compare this to. Is this the modern day fujoshi?
• 39:48
  It has to be, right? I mean, this is the modern day
• 39:56
  equivalent. Like fujoshi is like the the the
• 39:59
  girls who fall like in love with the idea of boys love and they
• 40:02
  get really obsessed with characters and relationships and
• 40:05
  treat them like they're real. They're like OG shipping war
• 40:08
  women and men I guess, but like mostly women.
• 40:12
  I don't think that's I, no, I, I don't think that's this, this.
• 40:19
  Is this the toxic fanfic person? It's kind of a but like she like
• 40:26
  she like kind of sexually assaulted the dude by proxy,
• 40:31
  which is crazy it. Is a little, yeah.
• 40:35
  Right, like if you because it's it's his character that he made
• 40:39
  and she as the player basically coerced his character into a
• 40:46
  like she like violated the player by proxy, which is like
• 40:53
  such an insane like how does she even let like what even made her
• 40:59
  think? I want to know what went through
• 41:01
  her head what? What made Sarah start doing
• 41:05
  this? Like why did she think that I
• 41:07
  should I should take Jim's character here and put it into
• 41:11
  the ChatGPT? Like what?
• 41:13
  Well, clearly she has a crush on him, right?
• 41:15
  Like, because if you, if you develop a crush on someone's
• 41:18
  character, they that character is still that person.
• 41:21
  That's that character is still a piece of that person's
• 41:23
  personality. It talks like them, it walks
• 41:25
  like them, even if it doesn't act like them.
• 41:28
  Maybe. You know what I mean?
• 41:30
  Like whenever you play? The idea though, you know what I
• 41:33
  mean? Like it could also just.
• 41:34
  Be the idea in this character. I dude, it's great.
• 41:38
  Can you imagine being like, so look, I know you're gay or
• 41:42
  whatever and like, that's fine. But like, I just don't like that
• 41:45
  your character's gay because it's really hurting my feelings
• 41:48
  that you made that decision because I feel like your
• 41:51
  character doesn't love me and that's a problem for me.
• 41:56
  Telling the player that I need you to change your character for
• 42:00
  me is like, Oh my God, I can't. Like I and, and I just don't.
• 42:11
  I just don't understand how she this this Sarah chick has to
• 42:14
  have other issues going on. I just don't understand how you
• 42:17
  could come to this rationale. You know what I mean?
• 42:19
  Like she must. Be dude.
• 42:21
  It's unfortunately common in the last three years.
• 42:24
  She must be. Feeding chat bots.
• 42:26
  It's no, here's the thing, I haven't even gotten to the
• 42:28
  chatbot tart. I I haven't even addressed that
• 42:30
  bit. I'm still focused just on the
• 42:31
  relationship between Sarah and and OP in this case.
• 42:35
  Like she's got to be a real lonely motherfucker to be like
• 42:41
  trying to hit on the player maybe, but not directly like
• 42:47
  that. This whole like if ignoring the
• 42:50
  chatbot element, like if she just wrote a fanfiction, right?
• 42:56
  Like if we take out ChatGPT and she wrote a fan fiction of
• 43:00
  herself banging this guy's DND character, that's just as weird.
• 43:05
  You know what I mean? Like the chat bot's almost
• 43:08
  irrelevant. I you know what I'm.
• 43:10
  No, I don't agree. I, I no, no, no, no, I don't
• 43:12
  agree because the chat bot responds to you, right?
• 43:19
  Not really. It's not having an actual
• 43:20
  response, but it, it creates a chemical loop where it feels
• 43:23
  like it's talking to you. When you write the fan fiction,
• 43:27
  the character is only saying what you want them to say, what
• 43:30
  you can think that they're saying, right?
• 43:32
  But but if again, you're limited by what your personal writing
• 43:35
  ability and imagination are, what chatbot makes you feel
• 43:40
  seen, you know? But, but again, I'm not, I'm not
• 43:45
  talking about that element of this.
• 43:48
  I'm just talking about the relationship between the the two
• 43:50
  actual human beings. Whether it was a chat bot or a
• 43:54
  weird fanfic that she wrote about this persons character,
• 43:58
  the relationship between the two human beings is uncomfortable no
• 44:02
  matter what. Like how she the tool she used
• 44:05
  to execute upon her plan doesn't matter that much.
• 44:09
  The thing that I'm most bothered by is the fact that she like low
• 44:13
  key sexual harass this person by proxy.
• 44:15
  You know what I'm saying? The proxy is not that important
• 44:18
  to me. You get what I mean?
• 44:21
  No, Yeah, I get what you're saying.
• 44:22
  Yeah. Yeah, like then the the fact
• 44:27
  that is a chat bot on top of that is what takes it to the
• 44:31
  next level of uncomfortable. Like it was uncomfortable before
• 44:35
  and now it's really fucking uncomfortable because her trying
• 44:41
  to be like it's a serious relationship.
• 44:43
  Also, I'm in a subreddit of other people who marry their
• 44:47
  like marry chat bots Is that's a whole fucking another level of
• 44:51
  deranged. I don't even, I don't even have
• 44:52
  the psychologists are going to have a field day with that kind
• 44:56
  of shit. I know.
• 44:57
  Yeah, this is the this is the person.
• 44:59
  This is the person who develops like a crush on their like
• 45:02
  cousin or something. And it's then they're like, no,
• 45:04
  no, look, this is a thing. This is a thing and you
• 45:06
  shouldn't judge before because this is a thing and you're like,
• 45:08
  no, you're weird. I'm sorry.
• 45:10
  Yeah, like the, the, the idea. Like there's the relationship
• 45:19
  between the two actual human beings, and then there's the
• 45:22
  fact that this woman thinks it's totally OK that she has this
• 45:26
  weird relationship with ChatGPT. Like they're like 2 separate
• 45:30
  issues that have overlapped each other and turned into like a
• 45:34
  horrifying rat king of problems. Not the Rat King.
• 45:41
  Yes, Sir. And then the extension of like I
• 45:47
  I guess this part wouldn't have happened without the chat bot,
• 45:50
  but the extension of you actual person OP are hurting my
• 45:55
  feelings through your character. That's not actually your
• 46:00
  character because it's a thing. I've been like the mental
• 46:05
  gymnastics this woman is doing. Extreme mental gymnastics it's.
• 46:10
  Crazy. To say you're hurting my
• 46:14
  feelings, that's such a pointed statement.
• 46:20
  That is the most mentally unwell thing I like.
• 46:25
  Oh yeah, Oh yeah, Sarah's got issues.
• 46:28
  Sarah needs to. It's been crazy.
• 46:30
  She needs to figure something out.
• 46:33
  I don't even know what. I don't even really know what
• 46:35
  you can do, but something. Holy shit, dude.
• 46:44
  It's the kind of. Person who like collects your
• 46:47
  hair from the shower to make a fucking shrine doll.
• 46:50
  Like you know, that almost feels more normal in this scenario.
• 46:56
  I does it. Yeah, it does.
• 47:00
  I don't know, boss. It's not normal, I said.
• 47:03
  More normal, not normal. Like at least she can't murder
• 47:07
  the chat bot. Oh God someone in the comments
• 47:10
  just pointed this out and I didn't even think about it.
• 47:12
  The idea of like straight women sexually harassing gay dudes
• 47:18
  like on the regular and that, that is one of the, that is like
• 47:22
  a thing that happens a lot too. Fucking Christ.
• 47:28
  And unfortunately, it goes both ways.
• 47:30
  You can think of the amount of dudes who are like, no, yeah, I
• 47:32
  love lesbians. And it's like, you love lesbians
• 47:35
  because of the website. Don't you?
• 47:36
  Shut up. Yep, you're.
• 47:44
  Straight people are the devil. I see you, devil.
• 47:50
  No, straight people are not actually a devil, but still.
• 47:54
  And demons. All right, you all the next one.
• 48:01
  Yeah, I I think I have to do #5 because.
• 48:04
  That shit's hilarious. It's really funny.
• 48:12
  Call of Cthulhu player won't stop using period slurs.
• 48:24
  Oh God that's fucking funny dude.
• 48:28
  OK so this is a story I'm actually 1° separated from as I
• 48:35
  brought as I was brought in as a replacement player or a Call of
• 48:40
  Cthulhu Mask of Nartha Narth. Fuck I always get this one
• 48:46
  wrong. NAR Nyar Lethotep Nyar Lethotep.
• 48:50
  I knew it. I knew it and I watched the
• 48:52
  anime about her. Here's Hope.
• 48:57
  Oh. Yeah, OK fuck.
• 48:59
  Are you talking about Hayori Naroko san I think is the name
• 49:04
  of it. And it's about it's it's
• 49:06
  Narolethotep as like a cute anime girl.
• 49:09
  Basically. It has very little to do with
• 49:11
  the actual Cthulhu mythos, but she like hangs out with some of
• 49:14
  the other like. Bro yeah, that is.
• 49:17
  Oh, that's amazing. Do you know how much Lovecraft
• 49:22
  would it hate? Yes, yeah, yeah.
• 49:25
  That gives me life. Oh my God, I love that.
• 49:29
  You need to send me a fucking like.
• 49:30
  I'm watching this tonight. I don't give a fuck.
• 49:33
  I watched it a long time ago, but I remember being it.
• 49:37
  I remember it being pretty fun. I love that so dearly.
• 49:42
  By the way, have you seen Overly Sarcastic Productions Reds like
• 49:46
  Holiday deep dive into HP Lovecraft?
• 49:49
  No bro, she makes it her mission to call HP Lovecraft a loser as.
• 49:57
  Much as possible, that's entirely.
• 50:00
  Like good because he's such a loser, but it's your life, Run
• 50:08
  it. Run it because.
• 50:10
  It's on Crunchyroll anyway, let's go anyway yes called
• 50:14
  Cthulhu campaign That was about 3 sessions in team What?
• 50:19
  That was about 3 sessions into New York and on the verge of
• 50:22
  finishing it. I I don't know what they mean,
• 50:25
  might. Be a setting part of the, like a
• 50:27
  section of the OR the section again maybe.
• 50:30
  But the GM told me why I was being brought in and what
• 50:33
  happened. Oh, so this player got kicked
• 50:35
  out? Evidently the player the player
• 50:38
  they had booted had chosen to be a New York based private
• 50:41
  detective and a Caucasian man. Apparently in character.
• 50:45
  He would constantly use in period slurs and slang to refer
• 50:51
  to the NPCS and other PCs in the game.
• 50:54
  For those who haven't played Mass, the New York chapter
• 50:56
  heavily deals with the black Harlem population being
• 51:00
  persecuted and corrupted by NYC. This is not what I thought he
• 51:05
  meant by this. Oh, so much better, yes.
• 51:14
  I thought he meant period like menstruation.
• 51:18
  Nope. Oh boy, do you want me to take
• 51:23
  over? No, it's fine.
• 51:28
  Of course this would make other players at the table extremely
• 51:31
  uncomfortable. It was a fairly diverse table
• 51:34
  too, regarding gender, gender and ethnicity makeup.
• 51:39
  They asked her multiple times to stop and tone it down.
• 51:42
  This is rather in depth too. It was more than just the N word
• 51:46
  like. Evidently, the guy was a
• 51:48
  Dictionary of obscure 1920 slurs and slang that would leave his
• 51:54
  character's mouth. A concept warning for a quoted
• 51:59
  slur coming up, just letting you know.
• 52:00
  He would constantly, is this one a slur?
• 52:02
  I don't actually know this. Is it OK?
• 52:05
  He would constantly call one other player, one other player's
• 52:09
  character, a mulatto because their character had a Middle
• 52:12
  Eastern ancestry. GM had to take him aside and
• 52:16
  tell him one-on-one. If you can't stop using slurs,
• 52:19
  I'm going to make you leave my game.
• 52:21
  Evidently, he couldn't help himself.
• 52:23
  And that's how I got in. It was an absolutely wonderful
• 52:27
  game, and I made RPG connections that I still that there, that I
• 52:31
  still maintained. As a kicker of the GMs also
• 52:34
  highly suspected he was reading the adventure book ahead of time
• 52:37
  and lying about it to give himself meta knowledge.
• 52:41
  That's a good little kicker. Comment bro had professional
• 52:45
  levels of racism. Yeah bro was researching his
• 52:48
  racism. Let me let me set the scene for
• 52:53
  you. Boom.
• 52:54
  You have to tell your player, Hey, I need you to stop saying
• 52:58
  slurs or else you can't play here anymore.
• 53:01
  And there's a moment where it comes up where the where the
• 53:04
  half Middle Eastern character rocks up and says something.
• 53:08
  And in that person's mind, it's the Dorito in the dead bolts and
• 53:13
  he's just melting down critical reactor style because he has to
• 53:17
  say the M word. It's like, have you seen that
• 53:24
  Key and Peele skit the like slap ass with the Dominican baseball
• 53:29
  players? No, So the the whole bit is that
• 53:34
  they're Dominican baseball players.
• 53:35
  And you know, in baseball, you know, if someone gets a good
• 53:38
  hit, you get like a nice slap on the ass.
• 53:40
  But one of the players who's played by Jordan Peele, like is
• 53:44
  addicted to slapping ass and it gets so bad that they like he
• 53:50
  like sees one of the new guys asses like the new player and
• 53:54
  he's literally like staring at it and like breathing heavy and
• 53:57
  sweating profusely and he's just like squeezing his hand.
• 54:01
  And the dudes guy is so caked up.
• 54:06
  Like, he gets kicked off the team because he doesn't suck.
• 54:13
  And he goes to rehab for months and comes back and everyone's
• 54:17
  like, yeah, Rafi, are you good? You good, man?
• 54:19
  He's like, no, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, OK.
• 54:22
  And he sees the baseball player again with a huge ass, and he
• 54:25
  just starts, like, frothing at the mouth and, like, tweaking
• 54:29
  out, and they're trying to stop him.
• 54:31
  And he runs over and smacks the dude's ass so bad he kills him.
• 54:46
  Oh my God, that's that's how this feels.
• 54:53
  Oh my God. I.
• 54:56
  I can't the fact the fact that he said bro had an obscure
• 55:01
  Dictionary of 1920 slurs. I feel like that's the point as
• 55:08
  as as someone of mixed race I would at some point I would stop
• 55:13
  being mad and start being impressed.
• 55:16
  I would be. Impressed too, it would be funny
• 55:18
  at a certain point. Like I don't even think I could
• 55:20
  contain. Like if he's that committed, I
• 55:24
  bro. Like still kick his ass from the
• 55:27
  game but when he's done y'all just have to sit around the
• 55:29
  table and laugh like. I I don't even fool.
• 55:38
  Like how did they meet this guy? Is he like a friend of the group
• 55:41
  like I? I yeah, right.
• 55:44
  Like, if you kick him out of the game, do you still got to see
• 55:46
  this guy and just be like. It's a great question.
• 55:50
  Why did you say the things you say bro?
• 55:51
  Like. Why do you like this?
• 55:55
  You could have just not said it. I don't even know what to say.
• 56:06
  I don't even like, I really was because he said peer.
• 56:12
  He didn't say period accurate slurs.
• 56:14
  He just said period. Yeah.
• 56:16
  So I was really expecting weird menstruation slurs was where I
• 56:19
  was like, oh, this is going to be hilarious.
• 56:22
  I was so not ready for just actual racism.
• 56:28
  Oh my God. I I love this comment.
• 56:32
  I mean someone says. I mean I'll admit I never
• 56:34
  thought of the word mulatto in quotations as particularly old,
• 56:38
  but still. In what you.
• 56:39
  In what world do you think you can just use racial slurs
• 56:42
  flagrantly? Like even historical reenactors
• 56:44
  don't go there, and they're more hardcore on accuracy than any
• 56:47
  tabletop player I've ever seen. And that's ignoring the fact
• 56:51
  that even accounting for the period, slurs weren't used all
• 56:54
  that fragrantly. Racism was far more pervasive
• 56:57
  than the than the labels for minorities.
• 56:59
  The guy wasn't being historically accurate, he's just
• 57:01
  being racist for the aesthetic. Like Christ dude, dude needs to
• 57:05
  chill the fuck up. It's racist for the aesthetic.
• 57:10
  Aesthetic TM. Yeah, yeah.
• 57:14
  I mean, yeah. I don't know what to say.
• 57:23
  I really got kicked out, so that's good.
• 57:24
  But Oh my God, yeah. Too fucking funny.
• 57:30
  It's it like? It would be the fucking Call of
• 57:35
  Cthulhu players. Have you ever heard the story of
• 57:37
  Herr Schnitzelnazi? Of what?
• 57:40
  Oh no. OK, this is a really famous
• 57:43
  green text in Call of Cthulhu of a guy playing a a Jewish black
• 57:50
  man in the 50s who took a head injury in Germany and then
• 57:58
  believed that he was a Nazi. And then this character in
• 58:04
  called Cthulhu thought that he was fighting the allied powers
• 58:10
  when he's actually fighting Cthulhu cultists.
• 58:13
  And he is saving the debt, he's saving everybody.
• 58:16
  He's stockpiled like full ordinances in his shack outside
• 58:22
  and he goes on like a high speed chase fighting like shog offs
• 58:26
  and shit with an RPG7. It is the green text is is laden
• 58:35
  with a lot of racism and it's a really uncomfy, but it is so
• 58:42
  fucking funny at the same time. I was going to say, it sounds
• 58:46
  pretty funny, I'm not going to lie.
• 58:47
  It's it's so it's funny in the most uncomfortable way.
• 58:53
  It's like it's, it's like when the weird old man says crazy
• 58:56
  racist shit, you can't help but laugh because he's so old school
• 59:00
  with his crazy racist shit that he's saying.
• 59:02
  Yeah, and you're just like I. And you can't even be like that
• 59:06
  offended because you're like, he can't do anything.
• 59:08
  I don't care. Yeah.
• 59:10
  No, yeah, there's a little bit of that in there for sure.
• 59:17
  You know when the racists are powerless, It's, it's pretty
• 59:19
  hilarious, I'm not going to lie. Yeah, so the only problem is
• 59:22
  when they actually can. Do bad when they have the
• 59:25
  ability, Yeah, when they have the ability to do things, it's a
• 59:27
  problem. But when they're powerless, it's
• 59:28
  kind of hilarious because it's just like watching someone being
• 59:31
  a flailing idiot. Yeah, yeah, it is fun to watch
• 59:35
  the idiot fling shit around the room.
• 59:37
  It just sucks when you're stuck in the room with them.
• 59:39
  Yeah, and you're, you're standing behind the glass like,
• 59:42
  wow, that's crazy. Lord.
• 59:49
  Oh, all right, go ahead. Which one you feeling?
• 59:55
  I'm really I can't. I can't do seven.
• 59:57
  I can't. Why not?
• 59:58
  I'm just. Going to why not?
• 1:00:01
  Come on, Come on, Jesus Christ. All right.
• 1:00:13
  I mean you don't have to, but I mean.
• 1:00:14
  Oh no, it's fine. It's fine.
• 1:00:17
  That's what I picked. From Jesus.
• 1:00:19
  This one's longer than I thought.
• 1:00:20
  All right. It's a pretty long.
• 1:00:22
  Content warning essay And you know that goes for the title
• 1:00:26
  too. In quotation, a gang essay would
• 1:00:33
  be such a great character moment.
• 1:00:36
  No, we're not sugar coating it. I'm not saying it.
• 1:00:38
  Would be such a great character moment.
• 1:00:41
  That's what. The title says a gang.
• 1:00:44
  I know what does, I don't like it.
• 1:00:45
  It makes me out of comfy anyway. I mean, listen, I'll read it if
• 1:00:49
  you want. No, it's too late.
• 1:00:51
  I've already started many years ago, heavily home brewed system.
• 1:00:57
  I often GM but rarely with this group.
• 1:01:00
  The group had said they were sick of my macho characters and
• 1:01:03
  dominating the game with system mastery regarding magic and
• 1:01:06
  such. Spite.
• 1:01:08
  That's what the other players were literally writing the rules
• 1:01:11
  for. Despite the other players were
• 1:01:12
  literally. That the other players.
• 1:01:15
  Oh, right, right. We're literally writing the
• 1:01:16
  rules as such. I was cross playing of yeah, I
• 1:01:21
  was cross playing a female rogue.
• 1:01:23
  I had good dexterity, intelligence, charisma and
• 1:01:26
  appearance, in that order, I think really.
• 1:01:28
  And that was it. Very strong in talking and
• 1:01:31
  surprise attacks and various social situations.
• 1:01:33
  And that was really it. The party had besieged a castle
• 1:01:37
  for some time, and it was miserable in the in.
• 1:01:41
  It was miserable in the besieging army and absolutely
• 1:01:44
  dire inside, IE they were eating rats.
• 1:01:47
  Seeking to bring the conclusion as swiftly as possible, I
• 1:01:50
  climbed the wall and assassinated the conclave of
• 1:01:52
  Wizards, who were one of the one of the chief defenses, through
• 1:01:57
  stealth and surprise. In hindsight I think this
• 1:02:00
  annoyed the GM and it would seem that escape was beyond me.
• 1:02:05
  I was apprehended a few moments before I could get away.
• 1:02:08
  Context. With the wizard's dead, the
• 1:02:11
  castle would fall this night or the day at next day at most and
• 1:02:15
  that was now 100% clear to everyone.
• 1:02:18
  This was a semi religious civil war and the fighting was very
• 1:02:21
  bitter. One of the PCs I was with was an
• 1:02:25
  anatomist slash inquisitor type who was extremely feared.
• 1:02:31
  The guards take me to the dungeon, show the various
• 1:02:33
  implements they had. It came across more like a BDSM
• 1:02:36
  sex dungeon rather than an actual medieval jail, but
• 1:02:39
  whatever. So gorgeous, do you have any
• 1:02:42
  last words? Oh my God, so gorgeous, do you
• 1:02:49
  have any last words before my friends and I take you to heaven
• 1:02:52
  with the best fuck you're ever going to have?
• 1:02:56
  Wow, I don't like that. If, if AGM ever does this to
• 1:03:04
  you, I, as I say you give you full permission to reach over
• 1:03:08
  the table and stab them in the eye with a pen, I reply.
• 1:03:14
  Yes, actually, it should be clear that the military
• 1:03:17
  situation has now deteriorated to the extent now that all that
• 1:03:22
  the fall of this stronghold is inevitable.
• 1:03:24
  As such, when my compatriots inevitably smash down this door,
• 1:03:28
  if they find me graves, tortured, killed, or any
• 1:03:31
  combination thereof, you will not be executed per SE, but
• 1:03:34
  rather they will strip the flesh from your bones.
• 1:03:37
  Your pain will be legendary, the pain the story repeated and
• 1:03:41
  recounted countless times from generation to generation, Spoken
• 1:03:44
  so as to get recalcitrant children to eat their
• 1:03:47
  vegetables. You will quite literally wish
• 1:03:50
  that you had never been born. Alternatively, you might simply
• 1:03:54
  do nothing for the next 12 to 36 hours, in which case I will
• 1:03:57
  command that you and your loved ones are to be released without
• 1:04:00
  harm, and even allowed to collect your wages from the
• 1:04:03
  Castle treasury as you leave. The choice is yours.
• 1:04:06
  End Quote. I felt that this was a
• 1:04:09
  persuasive argument. Indeed, if I had been if I had
• 1:04:12
  been GM ING, I would have just had this work without a role.
• 1:04:16
  Nevertheless, the GM asked for a persuasion role, explaining that
• 1:04:20
  the difficulty was extremely hard without naming a number.
• 1:04:24
  One of the home brew elements we had was that we each had various
• 1:04:29
  luck points, and if you spent all you had before the dice were
• 1:04:32
  rolled, you simply succeeded. NBO What is it?
• 1:04:38
  NBI? Don't know.
• 1:04:41
  NBO roll was only allowed. It was only allowed if there was
• 1:04:46
  some percentage chance of success in the 1st place.
• 1:04:49
  As such, I am now a full luck point.
• 1:04:51
  Purge and declare that I have succeeded.
• 1:04:54
  The GM then stops the flow of the game and explains how
• 1:04:58
  interesting a character moment would be to be would be gang
• 1:05:03
  raped like this, how much it would change and spice the
• 1:05:07
  character and their internal story, how fascinating it would
• 1:05:10
  be and so on and so on. I simply disagree on that point.
• 1:05:14
  After 10 minutes of back and forth, the gay master concedes
• 1:05:18
  that the rules are on my side and has the guards over your
• 1:05:22
  argue for whether they should in fact do the deed.
• 1:05:28
  Eventually, yes, I am rescued without being assaulted.
• 1:05:31
  I finished the campaign, but that was the last time that
• 1:05:34
  person ever ran a story. Beat the shit out of this GM.
• 1:05:41
  Hey, the fact that he was like, I can't go back on my own logic,
• 1:05:46
  so I guess this doesn't happen to you.
• 1:05:48
  No, bitch, it doesn't happen because I fucking say it doesn't
• 1:05:50
  happen. The fact I was defeated by my
• 1:05:53
  own. Rules.
• 1:05:56
  Nah dude, small rant time. You as the player are not
• 1:06:00
  subject to the D Ms. fucking say so.
• 1:06:03
  If some shit really bothers you that you don't agree with, you
• 1:06:06
  have every right to tell that GM no, that shit doesn't happen.
• 1:06:09
  Fuck you I. I really I would love to talk to
• 1:06:17
  the GM in question and be like what?
• 1:06:19
  What what was the thinking bud? Why?
• 1:06:22
  Why did you think this would be not weird?
• 1:06:25
  Thought this was fine Do tell I. Have I don't see a situation
• 1:06:32
  where I don't get into a fist fight with this purpose.
• 1:06:36
  I mean, I'm not fist fighting nobody, but I I am going to be
• 1:06:38
  sitting there like bro, what the fuck?
• 1:06:44
  It's yeah. Like this is that person.
• 1:06:49
  This is the person I spent two hours shitting on like last
• 1:06:53
  week. The person who's like.
• 1:06:55
  But it would be so gritty and dark if something terrible
• 1:06:58
  happened to this character with no actual logic behind it like.
• 1:07:11
  I. Dude, I just I, I, I like this
• 1:07:17
  comment. Dude what the fuck?
• 1:07:19
  Leave the table I mean. He, I, he did leave the well
• 1:07:23
  actually he said he finished it. So I I.
• 1:07:25
  He finished the campaign. Yeah.
• 1:07:28
  I mean, that might have only been one or two sessions though.
• 1:07:30
  We don't know, you know. Maybe, but dog?
• 1:07:35
  Yeah, I, I don't know that I would have stuck around for that
• 1:07:38
  one necessarily. That would have been, or at the
• 1:07:41
  very least, I definitely would have had a a chat with the GMB.
• 1:07:45
  Like, dude, what the fuck? Because here's the other.
• 1:07:49
  Thing I'm going to. You could do like, I'm not even
• 1:07:55
  someone who's so what's the word?
• 1:07:59
  I'm not so like shuratanical is the word is the only word that's
• 1:08:04
  coming to mind, but it's not really the right word.
• 1:08:06
  But like I, I'm not so, so squeamish to say that like you
• 1:08:10
  can't have like secure in a game, right?
• 1:08:15
  But there's lots of ways you can go about it where you don't have
• 1:08:19
  to be super explicitly graphic about it.
• 1:08:23
  You know what I mean? You can apply it, you can hint
• 1:08:27
  at it. You can talk about it as a past
• 1:08:29
  event. You can, you can have characters
• 1:08:33
  walk in and like kind of fade to black on a situation.
• 1:08:36
  Like there's, there's ways you could go about it that don't
• 1:08:38
  need to be that level of crazy, you know what I mean?
• 1:08:41
  But yeah, look, but. Assuming that it's kosher at the
• 1:08:45
  table, Yeah, like if if it was discussed in session 0, which is
• 1:08:49
  what a lot of people in the comments are saying, like, what
• 1:08:50
  the fuck? Yeah.
• 1:08:52
  Like, you know, it can be very cathartic to talk about really
• 1:08:56
  taboo topics and but you don't be like you're not you.
• 1:09:04
  You don't do it by reciting the the fucking the dialogue to your
• 1:09:10
  like favorite hentai or something.
• 1:09:11
  You just don't do this. I I think the real clincher on
• 1:09:14
  this one was the the gang would be a great character moment.
• 1:09:18
  I think that's the part that really pushes it over the edge.
• 1:09:22
  Like if the GM had tried to do it and that the player did what
• 1:09:27
  they did to get out of it, and the GM response was like, all
• 1:09:31
  right, I give him a little more leeway.
• 1:09:34
  The idea that he said a gang would have been a great
• 1:09:37
  character moment, that pushes it over into like, wait, what the
• 1:09:40
  fuck you mean by that, bud? Yeah, like that's where we're
• 1:09:44
  taking it too far. Yeah, dude.
• 1:09:48
  Like it's like I almost feel like right, because the player
• 1:09:53
  said that they were like they are male, right?
• 1:09:56
  They said they were cross playing a female.
• 1:09:58
  Yeah, this this almost feels like no, but we're just like 2
• 1:10:03
  Bros, right? Like yeah, it's fine, right?
• 1:10:05
  We're just, we're just guys shooting the shit playing the
• 1:10:07
  game. Like I almost feel like this
• 1:10:12
  person wouldn't have had the balls to do this if it was a
• 1:10:14
  female player. But you know, maybe I'm wrong
• 1:10:20
  because this this this subreddit is full of.
• 1:10:23
  Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:10:25
  The most depraved shit anyway. So I don't know, maybe I'm
• 1:10:27
  talking out of my ass, maybe I'm just trying to be hopeful, but
• 1:10:29
  like, hard to say. I don't play assault for jokes.
• 1:10:34
  It's not a joke. I, I don't even think the GM was
• 1:10:38
  trying to make it a joke. I, I think the GM just like was
• 1:10:43
  pushing it too much, you know what I mean?
• 1:10:47
  Like, I don't think it was meant to be a goof.
• 1:10:49
  I think it was just the the GM had this idea and then didn't
• 1:10:54
  want to let it go after the player was like, let's not, you
• 1:10:57
  know, I mean, honestly, the player was being honestly, the
• 1:11:02
  fact the player resolved it entirely in character, they're
• 1:11:05
  being very diplomatic about the situation.
• 1:11:07
  I'm more diplomatic than I would have fucking been for sure.
• 1:11:10
  I don't know the the the way that like the the so gorgeous
• 1:11:14
  like that line feels like it was done with the most shit eating
• 1:11:18
  grin. You know what I mean?
• 1:11:20
  And presumably tipped Fedora. I I guess I mean, if you think
• 1:11:24
  about in the context of the type of characters that would do
• 1:11:27
  this, it it, it's sort of makes sense as like an in character
• 1:11:31
  statement, you know what I mean? Yeah.
• 1:11:35
  Like I can kind of see, again, we don't know.
• 1:11:38
  We don't. The problem is of if the GM
• 1:11:42
  intended it for to be like a joke or not, you would only
• 1:11:45
  really know that if you were there for the moment, you know
• 1:11:48
  what I mean? That's the only way to to fully
• 1:11:50
  gauge that because you body language and tone of voice and
• 1:11:54
  events prior to that and all that, yadda yadda.
• 1:11:58
  But yeah, the fact that the GM was like disappointed that it
• 1:12:03
  didn't happen, I think is the thing that pushes it.
• 1:12:06
  Because if you're trying to betray, if your whole thing is
• 1:12:09
  like the my world is dark and gritty and a bunch of characters
• 1:12:13
  come in to like this captive character, OK, the point of the
• 1:12:18
  world being dark and shitty has been conveyed, right?
• 1:12:21
  Like the message has been sent. Whether they do it or not
• 1:12:23
  doesn't matter. The fact that they're even
• 1:12:25
  trying, the message has been conveyed right.
• 1:12:28
  So if that is your objective and then the player gets out of the
• 1:12:32
  situation, then you should just move on and that's it, right?
• 1:12:36
  Like, you did what you wanted to do.
• 1:12:38
  You wanted to show the world was like awful and shitty, and you
• 1:12:41
  did that. But the fact that he was kind of
• 1:12:43
  disappointed it didn't happen is where it pushes it over into,
• 1:12:47
  ah, now we're being weird. No, yeah, I mean, the the fact
• 1:12:51
  that the the player was like, well, OK, I'm just not going to
• 1:12:55
  let this assault happen to me for obvious reasons, so I'm
• 1:12:57
  going to use the rules set forth to not let it happen.
• 1:13:00
  And him, you know, it almost feels like, you know, the Sphinx
• 1:13:03
  mad that you answered its question.
• 1:13:04
  Like yeah, like why? Yeah, it's it's, yeah, the the,
• 1:13:11
  the disappointment is really what pushes it over the edge.
• 1:13:18
  Imagine the gall to be like over table being like.
• 1:13:21
  You're being real killjoy about this.
• 1:13:27
  Bored. All right, let's see.
• 1:13:32
  I guess I'll do #3. Oh yeah, OK, yes, please.
• 1:13:37
  What? Fucking wash my palate.
• 1:13:39
  Oh, this? One's kind of long.
• 1:13:43
  Yeah. All right, several years ago,
• 1:13:50
  sorry players, gaslighting tunnelled in, tunnelled our game
• 1:13:54
  into the ground. It's kind of a funny title.
• 1:13:58
  Several years ago my wife introduced me to a group of
• 1:14:01
  people she had met from work. DMDMSDD.
• 1:14:07
  What? Oh, the DMDMS. Partner.
• 1:14:12
  The DMS partner. And the two people who are
• 1:14:14
  relevant, who are relevant? Rose and Axel.
• 1:14:19
  Names changed. Oh, OK, bro.
• 1:14:24
  You went with Rose and Alec. Come on.
• 1:14:26
  You could have come up. It's Axl Rose.
• 1:14:27
  Really. My guy, Come on.
• 1:14:29
  That's a thank you. Stop it.
• 1:14:31
  Anyway, DM introduced us to the world and I made the choice to
• 1:14:35
  play a wood elf Arcane trickster.
• 1:14:38
  Longbow. Prevent.
• 1:14:39
  OK, nobody cares. He was attached to an
• 1:14:41
  organization that policed the illegal use of magic.
• 1:14:46
  OK, while researching and containing artifacts and
• 1:14:50
  dangerous magical creatures, I think Men in Black meets the SCP
• 1:14:54
  Foundation sands. The level of secrecy.
• 1:14:58
  We started having issues in session one.
• 1:15:01
  Fantastic. Didn't even get off the ground.
• 1:15:04
  Rose was playing a Bard who took umbrage to me right out the
• 1:15:08
  gate. I was conversing in character
• 1:15:10
  with my wife's paladin and seemingly in character she
• 1:15:15
  started making snide remarks about my elf, my character,
• 1:15:19
  while having low charisma but decent in and wisdom brushed it
• 1:15:22
  off and largely ignored it. I don't know why your stats are
• 1:15:25
  relevant there. Can I just sorry a slight pause
• 1:15:29
  here tangent. I really I hate when people are
• 1:15:33
  telling me like doing these right at RPG horror stories and
• 1:15:36
  they feel the need to like here's the information about my
• 1:15:39
  character stats. Nobody gives a fuck about your
• 1:15:41
  character stats, it's not relevant.
• 1:15:43
  Shut up and focus on me. I I get what I'm saying Very.
• 1:15:46
  Rare it OK I it doesn't matter that your elf has decent int in
• 1:15:50
  wisdom in this scenario I don't give a shit.
• 1:15:52
  You could have just said my character largely ignored it
• 1:15:57
  anyway. I just hate I hate superfluous
• 1:15:59
  information like that. Rose was pleasant out of game.
• 1:16:03
  Her character it seemed just really had an issue with my elf.
• 1:16:07
  That's weird. OK, the adventure continued from
• 1:16:12
  from there in the use. OK the wrong kind of there.
• 1:16:17
  The adventure continued from there in the usual way.
• 1:16:19
  We fought bandits, found treasure, made it to the big
• 1:16:22
  city and took on a quest to track down to track track a
• 1:16:26
  known necromancer for the bounty.
• 1:16:28
  All the while as suffering suffering from side eye and
• 1:16:31
  snide, but still in character in quotes.
• 1:16:35
  Remarks from the Bard. I brought it up with the DM and
• 1:16:40
  asked if he could speak with her.
• 1:16:42
  Having a quirk with your PC for one reason or another is fine
• 1:16:46
  and dandy, but we're in a Co-op game after all.
• 1:16:49
  The necromancer evaded us for a while, but we managed to track
• 1:16:52
  her to the haunted wood that was the site of an ancient
• 1:16:55
  battlefield that she manned to rush up a small army of
• 1:16:57
  skeletons. I try again.
• 1:17:00
  Superfluous information. I tried to get close to her but
• 1:17:04
  suffered some bad roles and nasty crits from her white
• 1:17:07
  bodyguard. He dropped me, but the party
• 1:17:11
  managed to clean up the skeletons and kill the
• 1:17:12
  necromancer. White as in the monster, not
• 1:17:15
  white as in skinny colour. Oh, I mean, yeah, yes, yes,
• 1:17:19
  white as in WIGHDI. Didn't think I had to specify
• 1:17:23
  that, but yes. But the party managed to clean
• 1:17:26
  up the skeletons to kill the necromancer.
• 1:17:27
  But notably not a single heal from the Bard when I was making
• 1:17:30
  death saves. Wife's pally was on the other
• 1:17:33
  side of the fight, so no lay on hands available.
• 1:17:36
  Sadly. Twas the death of my elf.
• 1:17:38
  The party tried tried to, oh tried to finagle a ritual.
• 1:17:45
  I couldn't. I couldn't read the word finagle
• 1:17:46
  there for a second. Using some magic items we
• 1:17:49
  acquired begrudgingly in the bards case but the roles were
• 1:17:53
  against us and he stayed dead. What is going on with this barn
• 1:17:56
  situation? The.
• 1:17:58
  Barn it's Dude the Berry. It buries the lead so hard.
• 1:18:01
  It's so good. Oh good good, I like, I love
• 1:18:03
  what that happened. The party returned to the
• 1:18:05
  capital city and I like to have backup characters baked into the
• 1:18:09
  back story and life of my current character so I can keep
• 1:18:11
  narrative lines flowing from character to character if
• 1:18:13
  necessary. So my tea fling dragon sorceress
• 1:18:16
  in the same organization was waiting for them and asking
• 1:18:19
  where her boyfriend was. Oh boy, I'm sure that I'm
• 1:18:23
  already concerned. Now was my turn to return fire.
• 1:18:27
  My tiefling got the story of what happened from the party and
• 1:18:30
  got to very directly ask why nobody was keeping an eye on who
• 1:18:34
  needed healing. The Bard left the building we
• 1:18:37
  were all in at the time and and the meeting split up.
• 1:18:42
  All this time I was frustrated that my character got killed but
• 1:18:45
  chalked it up to in to drama in game and nothing ever escalated
• 1:18:49
  above board aside from my conversation with the DMA.
• 1:18:52
  Few sessions later the DM announced that the Bard would be
• 1:18:54
  leaving the table for unexplained reasons but had put
• 1:18:57
  together a short 1A short 1 short of a Bart one shot A1 shot
• 1:19:06
  of a Bard troop her character had come from and would be
• 1:19:11
  departing with. Honestly I was pleased.
• 1:19:14
  Honestly I was pleased. No more side eye and nonsense.
• 1:19:17
  No more side eye and nonsense. I this person needed a reread.
• 1:19:21
  But I didn't want to be the sour puss and bring the mood down.
• 1:19:25
  So I hammed it up with this valor Bard I had been given and
• 1:19:30
  got some laughs out of everyone and and she left the game.
• 1:19:35
  That was just myself, my wife, the DM, the D, Ms. wife, and
• 1:19:39
  Alex. It was kind of the perfect
• 1:19:42
  campaign. At that point.
• 1:19:43
  My character reunited with their dragon parent, wife, Paladin
• 1:19:47
  fronted abusive partner, DM, wife, avenger clan.
• 1:19:50
  Alex redeemed his mercenary troop from Pass Sins.
• 1:19:53
  Good stuff. Right after the big climax
• 1:19:55
  fight, Rhodes reached out to my wife and wanted to have lunch
• 1:19:59
  with the two of us. What?
• 1:20:04
  OK. Trust the process.
• 1:20:06
  Just trust the process. OK, jobs had changed, but wife
• 1:20:10
  still kept in touch with her. Oh, right.
• 1:20:13
  They all knew each other from work, right?
• 1:20:15
  Was that? Yeah.
• 1:20:16
  OK. OK, we got there and she started
• 1:20:21
  apologizing to me profusely. Here's where the horror really
• 1:20:27
  starts. She's she's showing to us texts
• 1:20:30
  and Facebook messes with Alex, who was her boyfriend at the
• 1:20:34
  time of the campaign. Turns out the reason she left
• 1:20:37
  the game was because of a messy breakup with Alex because she
• 1:20:40
  found out he was gaslighting her.
• 1:20:42
  You think I was abusing my wife? Oh my God.
• 1:20:51
  Homeboy had an unrequented Oh my God an unrequited sorry
• 1:20:57
  unrequited crush on my spouse and the DMS partner and could
• 1:21:03
  never let it go even after getting with Rose.
• 1:21:06
  So he exploited her and convinced her I was abusing my
• 1:21:11
  wife and aside. From.
• 1:21:15
  From my said wife who I had who I had fact checked me.
• 1:21:20
  We learned from Rose during lunch that this dude would
• 1:21:23
  specifically target and date women who have mental health
• 1:21:27
  issues and could easily be manipulated.
• 1:21:30
  What the fuck? The hunch continued and we all
• 1:21:36
  talked it out and made-up. Afterward we took our DM inside
• 1:21:39
  and told the story and explained we wouldn't be able to continue
• 1:21:42
  with Alex in the game. He understood the campaign and
• 1:21:45
  ended never outed Alex to his face.
• 1:21:48
  Dude knew where I lived. I've since moved.
• 1:21:52
  Interesting part is learning that what made her double check
• 1:21:56
  her ex's story about me? It was how genuine I was playing
• 1:22:01
  the doofy Bard in her little going away one shot.
• 1:22:03
  Why would someone who I have been told is awful ham it up for
• 1:22:08
  me if there was a moral to the story?
• 1:22:10
  Remember that tabletop RPGs are a Co-op experience.
• 1:22:13
  If you're attacking party members verbally or dice rolls,
• 1:22:16
  you're in the wrong game. I you know brother, I don't
• 1:22:19
  think the game had anything to do with this problem.
• 1:22:22
  No, I think it was fucking Emperor Palpatine in the corner.
• 1:22:26
  The Unsung A villain of the campaign.
• 1:22:29
  The game was really irrelevant. Wow.
• 1:22:36
  The 11th hour villain is crazy. Literally like you're doing this
• 1:22:42
  barge shit now it's in the corner.
• 1:22:44
  Like if I ever told you the story of death, plagues, divide.
• 1:22:51
  Wow, that's so fucking funny. Like, I really can't.
• 1:23:02
  Wow, that was really that was that was novella levels of of
• 1:23:06
  11th hour villain. Alex was gaslighting her the
• 1:23:10
  entire time. Oh my entire.
• 1:23:14
  Can you imagine being like I have a crush not only on O PS
• 1:23:19
  wife but D Ms. Wife Yes, I have a crush on the two other wives
• 1:23:25
  in the game. Oh my God, that's Oh my God, my
• 1:23:32
  brother in Christ you like. This takes gaslight gate keep
• 1:23:37
  girl boss to a. Whole other level my brother.
• 1:23:40
  We got gaslighting, gate keeping and girl bossing.
• 1:23:44
  My my brother in Christ, have you ever read the book?
• 1:23:47
  She's just not that Indian. Apparently not.
• 1:23:57
  I just, I just don't man. I mean, on one hit, listen,
• 1:24:06
  listen, the idea of being in a situation where you're you're in
• 1:24:13
  a friend group and you're really fucking in to somebody else's
• 1:24:17
  girlfriend and like, you know, you, you can't control who
• 1:24:21
  you're into. So a lot of the time that is a
• 1:24:24
  difficult scenario. Do get do not get me wrong, I
• 1:24:27
  have been in that scenario plenty of times.
• 1:24:29
  Like I I get that struggle. But the idea that your your plan
• 1:24:36
  to solve this problem is, I'm going to guess like my
• 1:24:39
  girlfriend is like bro was playing some 4D chess.
• 1:24:45
  Like I don't even. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 1:24:48
  Let's get it straight. Let's get it straight.
• 1:24:49
  Not I'm going to gaslight my girlfriend.
• 1:24:52
  I'm going to date this woman for the for the purpose plan of
• 1:24:57
  gaslighting her to start problems for no other reason
• 1:25:04
  than the love of the game. Like.
• 1:25:07
  There was no end point. There was, yeah.
• 1:25:10
  No, there wasn't. Was it like, I'm going to make
• 1:25:12
  I'm going to treat this guy so shitty in our weekend DND game
• 1:25:16
  that he has a divorce and then I can slide in that was he was a
• 1:25:20
  hater for the love of the game? Like, was that his plan?
• 1:25:23
  Was his plan that somehow treating OP shitty would get him
• 1:25:28
  to divorce his wife? Was that the Strat?
• 1:25:32
  Like was that his plan there? Because I just I can't How how
• 1:25:39
  how would that have? What the fuck do you mean?
• 1:25:42
  Like what? Does that mean Kobe?
• 1:25:45
  What does that mean, Kobe? Right.
• 1:25:47
  Like like if I take the absolute most generous, like generous is
• 1:25:58
  the wrong word if I try and steel man Bros evil schemes I
• 1:26:02
  guess was the plan here. I'm going to have my girlfriend
• 1:26:08
  who presumably I don't give a shit about given how this went
• 1:26:11
  down. I'm going to have my girlfriend
• 1:26:13
  be such a bitch to this other player that he is going to get
• 1:26:21
  so sad and angry that he's going to.
• 1:26:26
  I can. Actually no, I can't even.
• 1:26:28
  I can't. I don't.
• 1:26:29
  I can't even. Like in what universe was this
• 1:26:32
  plan equalling? You get to bang his wife because
• 1:26:35
  presumably that's what you wanted.
• 1:26:37
  How is this getting you there? How is this getting you there?
• 1:26:40
  I don't even understand. There's no scenario where having
• 1:26:45
  your girlfriend be shitty to him somehow equals you get to bang
• 1:26:49
  his wife. Like maybe if OP was getting so
• 1:26:55
  distraught that he got into an argument for his wife and then
• 1:26:59
  you were going to try and swoop in to be the shoulder to cry on,
• 1:27:02
  maybe I guess. But even that doesn't really
• 1:27:05
  make a lot of sense. No, not even a little bit.
• 1:27:10
  Oh my God, the fact that the the the real clencher is really just
• 1:27:21
  the fact that he would go, he was going out of his way to date
• 1:27:27
  mentally unwell women on purpose.
• 1:27:32
  Holy shit. Like I'm going to make sure I
• 1:27:35
  date only really manipulable women.
• 1:27:38
  I like my women like I like my lemmings.
• 1:27:48
  That's crazy. Like I like my lemmings is
• 1:27:52
  diabolical work. It's great.
• 1:27:55
  Like that's such unhinged behavior.
• 1:27:59
  Like I. Don't get me wrong.
• 1:28:01
  I've heard about dudes dating mentally unwell women, but
• 1:28:06
  usually it's for the objective of the grippy socks grippy box,
• 1:28:09
  not for the sake of mind controlling them.
• 1:28:13
  Like Bros out here, Like Magneto.
• 1:28:16
  Yeah, yeah, he really is fucking called what?
• 1:28:19
  What? What was the what's the
• 1:28:21
  character from fucking Jessica Jones?
• 1:28:22
  What's his name? Killgrave.
• 1:28:24
  Killgrave. Yeah.
• 1:28:26
  Yeah, I just out here trying to be Mr. Purple.
• 1:28:29
  Oh my God. You think about how great that
• 1:28:33
  fucking conversation to go fucking Alex shows up to the
• 1:28:36
  campaign. GM looks at him, saw the text.
• 1:28:39
  Alex And then he like transforms you a fucking Methuselah like.
• 1:28:45
  He turns into a Resident Evil boss.
• 1:28:48
  Yeah, yeah, he just unravels like a fucking love crafty in
• 1:28:51
  horror, like a shog off. Either that or it's like every
• 1:28:55
  it's like every crime drama where they unmask the sociopath
• 1:28:58
  and he's like, we saw the text, Alex, what are you talking
• 1:29:01
  about? I I would never do that.
• 1:29:02
  It's like it's too late, Alex. We've seen the proof.
• 1:29:04
  You know what you are. And he just kind of straightens
• 1:29:07
  up and goes, yeah. And oh.
• 1:29:14
  Holy fuck. Wow, what a what a fucking
• 1:29:22
  twist. I didn't realize we were reading
• 1:29:26
  Telemundo scripts. Yeah.
• 1:29:28
  You were here because you thought you didn't think we were
• 1:29:29
  reading. Fucking Hannibal.
• 1:29:31
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:29:33
  I picked this one specifically because I was like, when we get
• 1:29:36
  to the end this is going to blow his fucking mind.
• 1:29:39
  Yeah, no, I wasn't ready. I was.
• 1:29:42
  I was thinking my eyes. I was going through.
• 1:29:46
  I was like clearly what's going on here is Rose is trying to
• 1:29:49
  gaslight OP because she has some sort of hatred of his wife.
• 1:29:53
  Like it was like a woman hate thing.
• 1:29:56
  That's. Where I thought it was going OK.
• 1:30:00
  Not it did not. Nope, Rose was an innocent
• 1:30:06
  bystand. Yeah, completely innocent.
• 1:30:09
  Yeah. I mean, maybe a little a little
• 1:30:11
  quick to judge, but like, yeah, super innocent.
• 1:30:14
  Yeah, Oh my God. I love that the happy ending
• 1:30:18
  came about of. Wait.
• 1:30:20
  He treated me really nicely after I treated him like shit.
• 1:30:25
  No evil man would treat me nicely after I treated him like
• 1:30:28
  shit. Like it's the most anime and.
• 1:30:31
  It was a little anime. That's true, actually.
• 1:30:34
  Yeah. The fact that she realized that
• 1:30:36
  him playing the goofy Valor Bard was somehow like that.
• 1:30:40
  Was this the hidden message? Oh man.
• 1:30:46
  You know, Bros, I'm proud of you.
• 1:30:47
  You figured it out eventually and that.
• 1:30:49
  She got there. She.
• 1:30:50
  Did what matters. Sorry man.
• 1:30:53
  Also side note, what a what a what a set a set of testiculars
• 1:30:56
  on her to text bro's wife and be like, hey, you want to you want
• 1:31:01
  to go get lunch like? Oh, so I think at this point she
• 1:31:05
  goes, well, no, no, wait, wait, hear me right, Because I think,
• 1:31:07
  I think she goes, I think she found out and was like, oh, I've
• 1:31:10
  been such an asshole. I got to make this right.
• 1:31:14
  And then she texted me like, hey.
• 1:31:15
  Right, right. But what I'm saying is it's
• 1:31:17
  ballsy because if you think about it, she could have texted
• 1:31:20
  his wife, said hey, you want to get lunch and then told them the
• 1:31:26
  whole shebang. And they could have like not
• 1:31:29
  believed her. Or they could have thought she
• 1:31:32
  was like she was pulling a crazy and was making up text or like
• 1:31:37
  like there's so many other ways it could have like gone poorly
• 1:31:40
  for. Her.
• 1:31:40
  You know what I mean? Or.
• 1:31:41
  Or they could have, I don't know.
• 1:31:44
  I feel like once someone shows me the receipts you're like oh
• 1:31:47
  shit. It's easy to fake the receipts
• 1:31:49
  is the problem, you know what I mean?
• 1:31:52
  Or true, that's a lot of work to go into Photoshop and like.
• 1:31:55
  It's work, but here's the thing. The others the OR they could
• 1:32:00
  have been under the impression that she's continuing the evil
• 1:32:04
  schemes and she's getting Alex in on her evil plans and having
• 1:32:09
  her text him like like he. She's out here fucking Johan
• 1:32:13
  from Monster. Yes, she's out here telling Alex
• 1:32:17
  like, you need to text me heinous shit so I can show them
• 1:32:20
  the fake receipts. Like, you know, I mean like, it
• 1:32:23
  could have gone poorly for her if they made some weird
• 1:32:25
  assumptions because apparently Alex was hiding his weird shit
• 1:32:28
  quite well, you know what I'm saying?
• 1:32:31
  What if it was the? What if it turned out to be the
• 1:32:33
  opposite? What if Rose was trying to like
• 1:32:36
  destroy O PS life to get with his wife?
• 1:32:40
  Oh my. Yeah, that would have been
• 1:32:43
  pretty funny too, actually. Oh my God.
• 1:32:51
  She married as she marries Alex just to get with Opie's.
• 1:32:56
  That's. Truly the most doomed Yuri.
• 1:32:59
  That is subdued. Fucking Yuri.
• 1:33:01
  Oh my God, that's a whole ass. That's a whole ass drama.
• 1:33:09
  All right. Well, is there any last one you
• 1:33:13
  really want to hit or? No, no, we got 2 left and I'm
• 1:33:18
  no, I think you gave me the best.
• 1:33:20
  We have our pallet. Yeah, we we had our pallets
• 1:33:23
  thoroughly cleaned and yeah, we can end it on a high note.
• 1:33:32
  Too. Funny dude, you really catch all
• 1:33:37
  kinds playing D&D, fam. Yeah, I mean, look, we let,
• 1:33:41
  that's one of those things. I, I, I feel like I say this a
• 1:33:46
  lot, but me, me and you are in a, in regards to tabletop games
• 1:33:51
  are in a very privileged position where we have the
• 1:33:55
  majority of our close friends are willing to to play tabletop.
• 1:33:59
  And ergo we don't need to extend the feelers out into weird
• 1:34:03
  places so we don't have to deal with the weird problems like
• 1:34:06
  this. You know what I mean?
• 1:34:08
  Well, we also are are spoiled for the fact that you know, our
• 1:34:12
  friends are not weird enough to pull this shit, and the weird
• 1:34:15
  things that some of our friends do are nowhere near where the
• 1:34:19
  part is. Stolen as much as I got you
• 1:34:20
  need. To you need to cut that shit
• 1:34:22
  out. Yeah, like that.
• 1:34:24
  Well, that's kind of what I'm saying.
• 1:34:25
  Like, yeah, you don't have to. Because here's the thing, we do
• 1:34:30
  have to acknowledge that like tabletop as a hobby does have a,
• 1:34:35
  a, a, a habit of bringing out the people who are generally
• 1:34:40
  anti social and they use D&D as their social framework.
• 1:34:46
  But because they only use D&D as their social framework and they
• 1:34:50
  don't use a lot of other avenues, they don't have a broad
• 1:34:54
  swath of social skills. And so they tend to be a little
• 1:34:57
  odd, you know what I mean? So the fact that we don't have
• 1:35:00
  to deal with that is good. Yes.
• 1:35:06
  But yes, we are kind of privileged positioned in that
• 1:35:08
  regard. You know what's fascinating?
• 1:35:11
  I, I say this being extremely woke, we have such a high
• 1:35:18
  majority of female players and that makes me feel good because
• 1:35:26
  yeah, that's, that shows a lot of trust in the female.
• 1:35:29
  Players. Yeah, well, like the Evans
• 1:35:33
  between me and you, right now we have 45.
• 1:35:39
  We have 4 serif Lita. Yeah.
• 1:35:44
  And then two. Snubby, Siffy Cassie.
• 1:35:47
  Oh yeah. Five.
• 1:35:48
  Oh yeah. So yeah.
• 1:35:49
  Snubby is gender fluid but usually sticks to to her.
• 1:35:53
  She her. Yeah.
• 1:35:57
  Makes me feel good. Makes me feel like, like I'm
• 1:35:59
  trusted, like I'm a valued friend in the GM.
• 1:36:02
  Mission accomplished. I've not said or done anything
• 1:36:04
  creepy. Not, not, Yeah, not given them
• 1:36:07
  any pause for concern. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:36:11
  Not pulled a compelling, you know.
• 1:36:13
  I mean, you in particular have also gotten some very emotional
• 1:36:17
  seeds out of both your players when running and your fellow
• 1:36:21
  players as a player, so. True, true.
• 1:36:26
  Yeah, and some of them get real uncomfy, but yeah.
• 1:36:29
  It's yes. Yeah.
• 1:36:33
  There was a couple points in Fabula where I was like, all
• 1:36:35
  right, y'all take 5, take 5. I didn't.
• 1:36:40
  I let it rock, but I was sitting there like, sheesh.
• 1:36:43
  Wait, which ones? Which ones?
• 1:36:44
  I don't want to, I don't want to.
• 1:36:46
  I don't want to get into it onto it recording but.
• 1:36:48
  Yeah, OK. All right.
• 1:36:49
  We got to talk about this after. I'm so fascinated.
• 1:36:51
  Fair enough. All right, that's been us.
• 1:36:57
  So hopefully the trigger warnings helped you a little
• 1:36:59
  bit. You know, we got a little, we
• 1:37:00
  got a little touch and go towards the end there, but I
• 1:37:02
  think we came out pretty all right.
• 1:37:03
  Listen, saying we're going to read our PG horror stories is a
• 1:37:06
  is its own trigger warning in and of itself, so.
• 1:37:10
  It it is yes, but the R word is a little touch and go.
• 1:37:13
  So if you made it through to the end and we appreciate you truly.
• 1:37:20
  So, yeah, follow us on your social media platform of choice.
• 1:37:23
  And I don't know, give us any some of your horror stories.
• 1:37:26
  I'm sure you as our our friend players have some.
• 1:37:29
  So you might as well share them online.
• 1:37:30
  For millions of people. That would be funny.
• 1:37:33
  That's been us.