Latest / The Christy-Faith Show / Ep. 42 - Navigating Homeschooling Challenges (Part 2 of 2) // Colleen Kessler

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Ep. 42 - Navigating Homeschooling Challenges (Part 2 of 2) // Colleen Kessler · The Christy-Faith Show

• 0:00
  Christy-Faith: That leads into the next question that I wanted to ask you. I wanna have a conversation about the difference between confidence and self esteem. Welcome to the Christy Faith Show where we share game changing ideas with intentional parents like you. I'm your host, Christy Faith, experienced educational adviser and homeschool enthusiast. Together, we'll explore ways to enrich and transform both your life and the lives of your children.
• 0:27
  As a homeschool mom who values a family together approach and leans towards the classical and Charlotte Mason styles, I often struggle to bring my educational vision to life with my kids' diverse ages and learning needs. With all our interests and super packed schedule, bridging that gap between the dreamy homeschool I want and reality, I gotta be honest, it's a challenge. Now, yes, I know perfection isn't the goal. But if you're listening and you could use a little easing of your mental load in your day to day, I found a resource that has become the quiet hero of our routine, and it could be a really great option for you too. BJU Press homeschool curriculum.
• 1:02
  Now, many think that BJU Press homeschool is solely an all in one option, and though it does excel in that role, did you know you can also opt for specific courses and tailor them to fit your family's needs just as I have? BJU Press Homeschool provides the perfect balance of structure and flexibility, and easily complements my family's mixed age, family together on the couch learning style. They are second to none in integrating a biblical worldview, stimulating critical thinking, and offering tons of hands on activities in the lessons. To find out how BJU Press Homeschool can come alongside you in your homeschooling goals too, visit bjupresshomeschool.com or click the link in the show notes.
• 1:41
  Welcome back to part 2.
• 1:42
  In this episode, we'll continue delving deeper into game changing ideas for intentional parents like you. So grab your coffee, find a comfy spot, and let's dive right in. Because a lot of parents have been told that the way you build your child's self esteem is by praising them for whatever. That's the most beautiful painting I've ever seen. That's the most this.
• 2:02
  That's the most that. And and we wonder why our kids struggle and don't have confidence. We say, oh, their self esteem is low. You talk about this in your book and I loved this. Would you speak a little bit to how do we raise confident kids?
• 2:20
  Colleen Kessler: Yeah. Okay. So confidence is being willing to try stuff. Right? It's being willing to put yourself out there and do new things and push yourself past your boundaries.
• 2:28
  A confident kid is the one that's gonna, like, take a risk, Try something new. Introduce themselves. Look in your eye when they shake your hand. Somebody with self esteem, that's more along the like, not somebody with self esteem. But self esteem itself is more like along the lines of your internal dialogue.
• 2:42
  Right? You can be super confident and you can have very low self esteem. I would say my performer is that person. She if you met her, you would think she is the most confident person on earth, but she has low self esteem. She has a low self image.
• 2:54
  She's very much a teen girl who's very hard on herself, always thinks she can look better and speak better and do better or should have said something else is very self critical. That is an internal dialogue that's constantly going on. And that's something, you know, that, frankly, our kids can see through in a second. If you're telling somebody who's just starting their to use your example, just starting to learn how to watercolor that that is the most beautiful painting you've ever seen, they're gonna be like, yeah. Yeah.
• 3:22
  Right. Are you
• 3:23
  Christy-Faith: what are you They stay right through it.
• 3:24
  Colleen Kessler: They know. And so they're now they don't trust the other things you say.
• 3:29
  Christy-Faith: Right? Yeah. Exactly. You have
• 3:31
  Colleen Kessler: to be honest because our kids are smarter than we give them credit for most of the time or than society gives them credit for. And they have an internal dialogue. And that internal dialogue, if we're talking self esteem, is built up through actual compliments. I love how you're trying something new. Watercolor is very difficult to get the colors blended well and to get the fine lines.
• 3:52
  Look at you trying. That is amazing. That is a is a compliment that's gonna get to build their self esteem. And because you're building their self esteem and you're not focused on the outcome, their confidence to try something new and to keep trying new things is gonna grow. So many people and you asked this question when you were talking to me before, but it it's a really good segue into it and it goes hand in hand, that idea of resilience.
• 4:17
  Resilient people are people who bounce back from adversity, fail at something, dust themselves off, and try again. So somebody with the same example who's trying to learn how to watercolor and is creating, like, a big mess of color that's blending together in a way they didn't anticipate, but is being told, wow. You tried something, and that is amazing because so many people don't try and their self esteem is going up. So their confidence to keep trying because they're valued for their effort is gonna keep going up. So then when they fail, they're more resilient and willing to throw that one away and try again, instead of throw that away and walk away.
• 4:53
  And so many people think that resilience is built by telling kids, just suck it up. Try again. Do it. Nobody's perfect the first time. Well, again, people see kids see through that, so that doesn't give them any information.
• 5:06
  When we help them work on their internal dialogue, so their self esteem can grow, and we give them the confidence to keep trying new things because it's not about the outcome. They're more willing to try new things and they're more willing to put themselves out there and they're more willing to portray this outward sign of confidence. So then that when they fail or when they come up to a situation that wasn't exactly how they thought it was going to be, they can dust themselves off and try again or keep pushing through because they're not being battered down in any of those areas or being given these really empty compliments or feedback. Or results based praise. Because if we do those things Yeah.
• 5:46
  Christy-Faith: And this is something you talk about too, not just in your book, but in general, we're we stop being that soft place to land Yes. For them. And how important it is that we are that safe place for them. You know, the psychological term is healthy attachment to the people who matter most. And and that's so pivotal, such a big I remember you came in to Thrive Homeschool Community and just tore the house down with your master class on resilience.
• 6:13
  Everyone just absolutely loved that. And Colleen, you've written a book on resilience.
• 6:18
  Colleen Kessler: I have, actually. I have a book. It came out 2 years ago, I think. It's called Raising Resilient Sons. And the subtitle is A Boy Mom's Guide to Building a Strong, Confident, and Emotionally Intelligent Family.
• 6:30
  And so it pulls all of that they just talked about in. And while the book is Raising Resilient Sons, it's it is about some of the psychology about boys because boys are different. They they think differently. They're wired differently. And too often, we focus on the self esteem of girls and forget about boys in in today's society.
• 6:47
  But the content of the book is geared towards your entire family and does actually, very much like the homeschool advantage does, at the end of every chapter, there's little kind of try this or do this key takeaways. So that if you're a busy mom and you just need some actionable stuff for that topic, it's right there for you to start instilling confidence and resilience right away.
• 7:09
  Christy-Faith: In fact, the first time I read your book and I got to the end of every chapter and I was like, oh, Colleen loves us. She made this open and go. That was my exact thought. Here, I I don't even have to think about what to do. She just gives it to me.
• 7:23
  So we have those tangible takeaways. I wanna shift gears a little bit. So many parents start homeschooling because they did not like learning growing up. Learning definitely had a negative connotation in their brains. And they say, I want my child to love learning.
• 7:38
  And then they immediately buy a big fat box curriculum and have their kids sit down 7 hours a day and sit there on the computer and do those computer programs make you do or the online programs or, you know, all of those, the big box. Not speaking against those. There is a time and a place for that. Colleen and I will be the first to tell you that there is nothing wrong with that. But the message here is deep breath.
• 7:59
  If we truly want our kids to love learning, there are some things we need to let go of. Isn't there? Yes.
• 8:08
  Colleen Kessler: Yes. So, and this is this is the core of everything I do. Right?
• 8:14
  Christy-Faith: I know.
• 8:14
  Colleen Kessler: I mean, my website is called raising lifelong learners. Yeah. We have to let go of other people's expectations first and foremost, and the expectation of education is supposed to look a specific way. And the truth of the matter is you can help your kids love to learn.
• 8:30
  Christy-Faith: Before we continue, I wanna share with you a program that has been a game changer for our family. At our learning center, we instructed and helped kids through pretty much every program on the market. So we know firsthand just how important a solid math foundation is for our kids' futures. Finding the right homeschool math curriculum that didn't compromise academic excellence, but also didn't put me and my kids through the ringer was a challenge. Until one day, I found CTC math.
• 9:00
  You guys, the rest was history. First off, it's a mastery based program, which means your child gets a full grasp of the material. It's also loaded with mixed reviews, ensuring your kids don't forget anything they've learned. The questions are adaptive too, which keeps students confident and progressing at their own pace. But the best part, all the teaching, grading, and testing, done for you.
• 9:25
  With CTC math, there is no compromise on excellence. Your child gets a top notch education, and you just made your homeschool life easier. Visit CTC math to get your free trial today. Is your child struggling with attention, memory, reading, writing, or math? If you're experiencing this, you know how heart wrenching it is to watch them face these hurdles.
• 9:45
  You've poured love, time, and attention into their education, yet the struggle persists, leaving you feeling stuck and desperately searching for answers. You guys, I want you to know about LearningRx, a proven program designed to help your child's cognitive skills, enabling them to think faster, learn more easily, and perform at their best. I'm talking getting real long term help here with things like ADHD and dyslexia. LearningRx is backed by 35 years of research, and their results are transformative. Use code home 50 for $50 off your cognitive skills assessment.
• 10:18
  Go to learningrx dotcom or click the link in the show notes.
• 10:22
  Colleen Kessler: No matter what curriculum you use, the that curriculum is a tool to help you achieve your goals, which is why we have to be really careful as homeschool parents not to become a slave to what the table of contents or the author's note or the note to teachers say in our curriculum. Doesn't matter. I mean, frankly, it does not matter what you use. Your kids are going to learn if you have the intent to help them love learning. And be curious, be creative, ask questions.
• 10:50
  It just it just doesn't matter. There's everyone you can you can talk to a 150 homeschoolers, and you'll get a 150 different suggestions about what programs to use in what ways. The bottom line is, if you want your kids to love learning, you have to model it for them, and you have to help them understand that learning for its own sake is the most important thing. And that there it is completely and totally impossible to know everything about everything. And if they understand that, the whole world opens up because they no longer feel like they're missing out or they're behind or they have to catch up with anything, and neither do you if you can allow yourself to truly believe it.
• 11:28
  Because there's there's just no way to get everything. As a teacher, as a former classroom teacher, our goal is to get to, like, 70% of the books Yeah. Before we we ended the school year. That's why every single subsequent year's curriculum has a several chapters of review because nobody expects you to get through an entire program in a year. It's impossible.
• 11:51
  And every district throughout the state and then from state to state to state, all teach different things at different times. So if kids move, which happens, they're not getting the same education. So there's it's impossible to graduate high school if you've gone all, you know, 12 years or whatever without gaps. Because you're not going to learn everything all the time. And if we as homeschooling parents can accept that and own that and really internalize that, it lets all the pressure go away.
• 12:18
  Because you don't feel like you have to measure up because you're gonna have gaps too, just like the kids who graduate public school. They might not be the same gaps, but is that why we do it in the first place? Isn't it so that a kid like Molly can have extra training in the area she wants to go to college for? And Logan, my other daughter, who wants to do something with regards to NASH natural sciences or botany or zoology can have extra classes and experiences in those areas while just doing enough of the other areas to get her competitive. And while being taught that she doesn't have to know everything, because if she's confident enough to ask somebody a question, she can find out the answer to anything.
• 12:57
  And that there's nothing wrong with not knowing. That's what we want our kids to know. We want our kids to know that there's always somebody they can ask. There's always a Google search. There's always an ask Siri or ask Alexa on the Echo Dot.
• 13:09
  There's always a video that can explain it or a tutorial or a podcast episode or whatever. So if we teach our kids that they can't know everything, they can always ask questions and smart people ask questions, then we eliminate the pressure of making sure they know everything, and we help empower them to continue learning throughout life because they know they can always do something else or pivot in some different way.
• 13:38
  Christy-Faith: Right. And a couple of thoughts here. So yesterday, I was invited into Maryland to encourage at the beginning of the school year Maryland homeschoolers. And the woman who interviewed me is a thought leader and a speaker across the nation and she's a high school specialist, a homeschooling high school specialist. And there was a comment yesterday where mom was highly concerned about her 19 year old son who just doesn't know what he wants to do.
• 14:04
  And a word of advice that she gave to she helped that mama right there in the moment in a beautiful way. But then she also gave us a little bit of coaching for those of us who have kids who are maybe a little younger. And she said, please, she said exactly what you're saying just in a different way, Colleen. She said, in those high school years, allow your children to explore, to try, dig into those because when they turn 19, they have this adult pressure to figure out their lives and it's a lot more stressful for them. Let's use homeschooling to our advantage.
• 14:40
  Title of your book, homeschool advantage. Let's use homeschooling to our advantage where we don't have You know, education does not take 7 hours a day. We can lean into other interests and have them explore all sorts of things so that when they do leave our home, they at least have some more ideas because the way this woman was, she was really having a hard time and her son is crippled right now, emotionally crippled, not knowing what to do. And I think that is just so important. The second piece to what you said is this is something I repeat over and over again in Thrive Homeschool Community.
• 15:14
  If we have a content based mindset of education, I don't think we'll ever actually be happy homeschoolers. And it's hard because when you get off that train of viewing education as information in, information out, your mother-in-law, your father-in-law, your sis they're not gonna get it. They're gonna know, well, did you follow the standards? Did you does Sammy know all of the things they're supposed to know? And to be resolute and confident, No.
• 15:44
  Yes. He knows exactly what he's supposed to know. He is exactly where he needs to be. But this not only can we never learn everything on the planet before the age of 18, but we it shouldn't even be the pursuit that completely kills the love of learning. And it's interesting when you talk about curriculum and using it as our tool.
• 16:05
  It's, you know, I have a kiddo who in my household who struggles through math. And one of the encouraging words we always tell this child is math is gonna is just the vehicle for you growing in this particular area. And the area that we're focusing on right now is a soft skill of perseverance and and things like that. And so just getting past her own self, you know, get past getting past ourselves, which all of us need to do. But I think that is just such words of wisdom in terms of when you are a new homeschooler though, what I don't want you to hear from us is, oh my goodness, I'm not doing this.
• 16:40
  I'm doing it wrong. That's not we there is so much room for grace. This is you you have to realize, Colleen and I have been in this game for a very long time. When I'm sure when you started out, you didn't believe these things. When I started out, I didn't either.
• 16:54
  And this has been just this journey for us. I do wanna transition a little bit because you have an entire section in your book on the value of read alouds. And I would love for you to share a little bit on why read alouds are so important in our homeschools.
• 17:08
  Colleen Kessler: Yeah. Reading aloud can cover so much. Right? First of all, it allows you to sneak in different content. It gives you the opportunity to hear more stories at a more sophisticated level than a kid could read read on their own.
• 17:23
  And it you've got so many opportunities where kids are captive. Right? At the at the lunch table, the dinner table, and your morning time, if you do morning time, on the way to different places. I actually here's a true confession that might surprise some of you. I don't read aloud to my kids anymore.
• 17:39
  We listen to audio books, and it's the same thing. So, like, I don't sit down with a book and and open it up and read to them, but we do listen to books together as read alouds. And part of that is because I just don't have the the time or the fortitude anymore to lay down, but I can get lunch on the table. We could all be eating together while a story is, you know, going through our ears. It allows us all to hear beautiful words, to hear the cadence of language.
• 18:08
  My kids have beautiful vocabulary. They didn't get that from reading dictionaries or doing vocabulary books. They got
• 18:14
  Christy-Faith: it here. Oh, you know what? That is I hate vocabulary books. Oh, yeah.
• 18:19
  Colleen Kessler: Don't you? Yes. I do. I hate all I hate grammar books. I hate all of that.
• 18:24
  Christy-Faith: Yeah. I used to drill and kill my students on the vocabulary. Oh, brother. Yeah. And all you need to do is read
• 18:30
  Colleen Kessler: out loud. Yeah. Well, and you're you're put in you you're caught up in the story, and you put yourself in to these situations where you become the character and Yes. You, you know, and everybody becomes a different character too, which is so fun when you're doing it together. But you you're hearing you're seeing people solve problems and think critically and think creatively and do hard things and do things that could never actually happen.
• 18:53
  And and then you you get to understand what makes a good story. And and then it exposes you to all sorts of different things. I can't tell you how many times my kids have looked something up because they heard about something in a story that, you know, didn't make any sense. And so it's at its core with regards to academics, it opens them up to all these different skills and abilities and things like that. But also gives you shared stories.
• 19:18
  Christy-Faith: Connections. Girl, you share. Yes. Preaching, girl. I love it.
• 19:24
  The shared experience is powerful.
• 19:27
  Colleen Kessler: Yes. And that, I think, is one of the most powerful things about home schooling, and read alouds are just one of the better vehicles to to do that. You have the chance to connect with your kids at a deeper level through the shared stories you're hearing and the experiences you're doing. If you're driving to, you know, a play practice or a sports practice and you've got a story going on that you're all listening to, now you have something to talk about. Why did the character do that?
• 19:54
  What's going on? What would you have done in that in that place? And then later, you never know when your kid's gonna be like, wait. That's like when so and so did this. So it builds these connections and these talking points and gives you, like, a shared history and shared stories that you can refer to throughout your life and gives it builds that family history, for lack of a better term, that you can keep building on as as you and your family grow.
• 20:23
  And it brings all ages together because it doesn't matter how old some of your kids are, how young some of them are. They all get different things out of it and get stuff out of just being together and hearing those stories together.
• 20:35
  Christy-Faith: Yes. And I even think youth literature, the authors tend to be better, honestly, because they can't be dirty or things like that. And so they're the story lines and the plots are just much more engaging. And doesn't C. S.
• 20:47
  Lewis say, like, if a there's a children's story that can't be enjoyed by an 99 I I don't know the exact quote, but basically, he was saying that it's not a good story at all. Like, if it's a good story, it's a good story and it will be enjoyed by a 5 year old and a 95 year old. And that is just so true. Even picture books, a beautifully illustrated and written picture book. Can I tell you, there are some picture books that literally have me weeping as a woman in her forties that, that were age appropriate for my 7 year old?
• 21:19
  Colleen Kessler: You know? Yeah. Well, the the art of picture book writing is truly an art and probably one of the most difficult types of books to write well because the the word count is so short. And I remember I've got a couple unpublished picture books that that I've worked on for years. And one of them that tragically tragically was accepted to 2 different publishing houses at 2 different times and then wasn't subsequently published.
• 21:46
  One time, an editor left that publishing house and all of their books in process were killed. And the other time, the publishing house went away, which just went away. So it's still there to be worked on and chapped around again someday. But that book started out at, like, 27 100 words, and it is now 790 words. And the 790 words that it is that it is honed down to are the absolute best.
• 22:09
  790 words and took over 2 years of workshopping and working with experts to get it down there. It is beautiful, but it's still informative because it's narrative nonfiction. It takes so much. So a good picture book is actually higher quality writing than most novels.
• 22:27
  Christy-Faith: Oh, absolutely. And I do a lot of copywriting. And when you do copywriting and script writing, you know how many words you have to say what you need to say in 30 seconds. Oh, my goodness. It would be so much easier if I could just drone on and on and write 4 pages on it.
• 22:42
  It what's harder? What there was one script that I wrote that was a 30 second script that took me 8 hours because it's harder to write fewer words. Okay. Here's something that I think is a little bit edgy for education in general. I wanna shift gears here and talk about creativity.
• 22:59
  The reason why I wanted to bring this up today is very common reasons why people homeschool. We already hit on, I want my kid to love learning. But the second thing is always, I want my kid to be a critical thinker. And those things are fabulous. You believe also that creativity should be up there, Don't you?
• 23:17
  Yeah. Whether you're newer to homeschooling or you've been homeschooling over a decade, the fact is creating a streamlined successful homeschool is hard. The pressure is high and the weight of responsibility often leads to self doubt, second guessing, and feeling completely overwhelmed with the excessive amounts of opinions and curricula options out there. We love our kids. And at the same time, the stakes are high.
• 23:42
  We don't wanna mess this up. So how do we build a homeschool that our kids will vank us for when they're adults, and one that you have a 100% confidence in? The first step to pulling all of that off is joining Thryv homeschool community. Thrive Homeschool Community is where you learn the 8 Step Homeschool Success Framework to build an undeniably successful homeschool. Each year and each kid presents us with uncharted territory.
• 24:08
  But when you have a good plan, the right plan, you can rest in the security and confidence that you are doing a great job. The path is easy. Join Thrive. Say a quick hello to your new friends. Start the 8 Step Homeschool Success Framework, and kiss anxiety goodbye.
• 24:25
  It's risk free, no contracts. You can cancel any time. No questions asked. Go to christy-faith.com. That's christy-faith.com.
• 24:37
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• 25:02
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• 25:26
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• 25:52
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• 26:11
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• 26:32
  Colleen Kessler: Absolutely. Yeah. I think that most people tend to just kind of relegate creativity to, like, the fine arts. Right? They think about creativity as being a good artist or being, you know, a writer or an actor or whatever.
• 26:46
  But that's not just what creativity is. It certainly takes creativity to do those things, but creative thinking is deeper than that. It is about seeing multiple possible to one single problem or, you know, multiple different outcomes. It's being able to flip the script and take your education in an opposite approach of others. You know, what's what's typical.
• 27:06
  It's about, you know, looking at a kid in front of you and or a problem in front of you and being able to do something different with it. It's about okay. One of the activities I've done with kids off through the years is multi finding different uses for everyday objects. And that's like taking a paper clip and telling me 50 different things you could do with the paper clip. Thinking fluently in a way that, like, expands it.
• 27:29
  And, yeah, I talk about creativity in in one chapter, and then I go into a whole entire chapter about creativity. Because creativity is the foundation of pretty much everything. If you can think creatively about your life, you can find different outcomes for whatever scenario and situation that you're you're involved in. If, you know, you wanted to do something with animals and you're a creative thinker about it, you can find all sorts of different opportunities that can, you know, that present themselves or that you can create in order to be able to use your your creative thinking. The other thing about that is it it allows you to approach everyday problems with with an open mind and multiple solutions.
• 28:10
  In my membership community, the learners' lab, once a month, we do a creative thinking class, And it's oftentimes loosely related to whatever social and emotional themes that we're doing, but sometimes it's just about letting your brain kind of go with the flow and tapping into a different level of of creative thinking. And sometimes we bring critical thinking into it because critical thinking relies on creative thinking too. You need to be able to think about things that have happened before and then creatively apply them to things that are currently happening. That's how we best, you know, keep situations from repeating themselves politically or whatever. And it's fun to watch kids, like, open their minds and brainstorm different ways to solve problems or brainstorm different things that they could they could do.
• 28:54
  We recently did an activity that was about setting goals. And you'd think, like, setting goals, how is that creative thinking and how is that even creative at all? And the kids drew, they first, they drew a big cloud and brainstormed all these different things that they might wanna do before the end of the year. Brainstorming in and of itself is a creative thinking process because it's being fluent in your thinking. It's coming up with multiple possibilities.
• 29:19
  And the best thing about brainstorming and being fluent in your creative thinking is that your brain expels the mundane first. It gets rid of the easy ideas and answers first. So the the everyday solutions get out of your brain, and then they get harder and harder and harder and harder or more innovative or more interesting as you go. So when the kids brainstorm all these different things that they might wanna do before the end of the year, then we take one of those and we draw a dream ladder. And the kids put their goal at the top of the ladder and they go rung by rung by rung, building step by step by step how they could conceivably get to that goal, which again is creative thinking because they've gotta put themselves ahead of where they are right now and see the possibilities, which opens them up to that that kind of thinking that hasn't happened yet.
• 30:12
  Forward thinking, future thinking. If we can help our kids do that kind of stuff early on, they become people who create their own futures or solve world problems or innovate for the their business or their employee or employer. And that's who we want at the helm, right, in the future because those are going to be the people that make our world a better place. And so spending time on creativity is worth it, and it's really worth thinking about creativity as its whole, the the whole part of creative thinking that it is, and not just the fine arts.
• 30:52
  Christy-Faith: Absolutely. And, you know, the title of your book, the subtitle, A Child Focused Approach to Raising Lifelong Learners, I wanted to ask you, what is something widely accepted in the world of education that you just disagree with and can't get behind?
• 31:08
  Colleen Kessler: So, really, the the biggest thing I believe that most people will tell you isn't true is that you are the best parent and teacher for your kid. Like, you're the best person for your kid. At if there's, I've said this before, if there's nothing else you take out of anything I've ever written, spoken about, said, whatever, it's that you know your child best. There's nobody. There is nobody out there who knows your child better than you do, who knows your child's strengths, knows their weaknesses, knows their loves, knows what lights them up inside, knows how to ignite their passions than you.
• 31:48
  And because of that, there's nobody who's gonna fight for them more. There's nobody who's gonna advocate for them harder. There's nobody who's going to, like, move every mountain that comes in your way to find the best possible everything for them than you. And because of that, you're, of course, their best teacher. You can't nobody can do it better than you because nobody loves them like you do.
• 32:09
  Nobody cares about them like you do. Yes. Teachers care about their kids. I cared about my students so much. I still remember some of them.
• 32:17
  I still keep in touch with some of them. But I don't care about them as much as I care about my own kids. I would do more for my own kids than any amazing student that I've had as much as I love them because that's what being a parent is all about. And because of that, you are the best teacher for your kid.
• 32:38
  Christy-Faith: Absolutely. I wanna read a quote from your book and I circled it and I said, oh my goodness. I just love this so much. You write, homeschooling with a child focus with the goal of raising lifelong lovers of learning means that we need to be present, trust that the time invested is worth it, and make sure we're engaged, welcoming, and willing to admit our own mistakes to solve problems together. We must channel our time, energy, and attention into nurturing our children's lives.
• 33:12
  That encompasses so very much because it's not only home education, but it's also modeling social emotional learning. It's that connection piece that, that you love to encourage parents to have in the homeschool connection above everything else. I wanted to ask you, what is one thing that you wish you knew when you first started out homeschooling that you could share with those young mamas that are just starting out and they are scared right now? They've they're worried they're gonna mess up. They have people in their lives who are looking at them with a side eye.
• 33:48
  Can she really do this? What's one thing that you could share with her that you wish you wish someone had told you when you were first starting out?
• 33:58
  Colleen Kessler: Yeah. Oh, there's so many things. The first thing that I'm gonna say is, no matter what I say, brand new moms, I know that you can't believe all of it because you don't you you haven't been there long enough. But I I bet everybody who's been doing this for 5 or more years will say similar. I wish that I would I had slowed down.
• 34:20
  I wish that I bought less. I wish that I'd done less academic and more connecting and experiential learning. I I like to say to to new moms that I meet, like, at conventions and conferences who are overwhelmed by just the sheer volume of stuff that they could possibly do to buy more or buy less than they think they need and to play more than they think they should. Mhmm. It really is true that there there's so much time for the academics that you I know you don't believe it.
• 34:50
  I know you think that there's so many things you've gotta cram into their heads. But the truth is, it doesn't take much time to help a child understand any academic concept if they're ready to learn that academic concept, but it takes time to build heart and connection. And at the end of the day, at the end of the road, that's what matters most. No matter what you do, education wise, your kids are gonna remember how they felt when they were with you. They're gonna remember some of those special outings, those I call them in the book, surprise rides, those different excursions and adventures and things that you did.
• 35:30
  So you really can do less than you think you should. You really can. You don't need a curriculum for every single subject. You can double dip if you're writing if your history curriculum that you love is having them write paragraphs and stuff, count it as writing count it as handwriting. Now you've got 3 subjects in that one curriculum.
• 35:52
  You can count so much more than you need to. In a school setting, they need to separate it all out because they need the accountability. You don't. You don't. You don't need you can you can count a history curriculum as 3 different things because it doesn't matter, and you'll be better for it.
• 36:10
  You'll have more time to play. You'll have more time to go for walks. You'll have more time to sleep in and snuggle together on rainy days and have hot chocolate and all of that. Buy less than you think you should. Play more than you think you can.
• 36:25
  And just enjoy your kids. Enjoy the process of homeschooling because, again, one of those things that I didn't believe was that, you know, all the older parents who tell you it goes by so fast, the days are long. I'm not gonna deny that. There are some days that feel like they're never gonna end, and they're hard, and you don't know why you ever chose this alternate route because it'd be so much easier to ship them off for the day. The days can be really, really long, but the years really, truly are short.
• 36:59
  You blink, and they're gone. I it was yesterday. I was thinking about pulling my kid out, and I have a 21 year old graduate, a 17 year old who's doing college applications right now, a 15 year old freshman in high school, and an 11 year old 6th grader. I just think about all the things I could have done and wish I'd done more playing, wish I'd done more field trips, wish I'd done more, you know, overnights and things like that. So, really, if it comes down to it this is very long winded.
• 37:30
  But if it comes down to it and you have the opportunity to go do something that makes memories or you feel like you have to stay home to get the math done because you're you're behind in whatever schedule you've set for yourself, always, always, always go make the memories because you can always catch up the math.
• 37:48
  Christy-Faith: Hi there, podcast family. If our episodes bring a smile to your face, challenge you, or spark your thoughts, tap that like and subscribe button to stay connected with us. Also, we'd truly love to hear your voice in the comments. Your insights and stories are what makes this community special. And not only does it allow us to hear you, but your engagement helps us reach more people and spread our message.
• 38:09
  So go ahead and don't be shy. Like, subscribe, and comment. You can always absolutely and, you know, I don't have a student yet who has graduated, but already I see they start to get busy when they get older. You can't do the nature walks, all those dreamy things. Mhmm.
• 38:32
  There comes a time where they have we already have part time jobs. We have classes. We have sports that and those years, I already see them dwindling away. You know, luckily, I have an age gap between my oldest and then the youngest 3. But man, am I doing things differently with my youngest 3 than I did with my oldest?
• 38:58
  Poor guy. Poor guy. I apologize to him all the time, but he loves me. He loves me anyway. But, yeah, because when I started homeschooling, I did not start my deschooling journey quite yet.
• 39:11
  I was still heavily invested in academia. And, you know, the appeal to homeschooling for me initially was the classical education where, oh my goodness, I could create this savant that's gonna get into Yale by the age of 16. And I was very much it's embarrassing, really. I had my 4 year old in cello. Why why why did I do that?
• 39:31
  You know? And so we laugh about it now, but you are so right, Colleen. And and I I know that we're a lot of moms are tired of hearing it. Tired of.
• 39:43
  Colleen Kessler: Right at
• 39:43
  Christy-Faith: the grocery store. Cherish those moments, young lady. Right? And but truly, truly, it is absolutely the case and I am already mourning the years and the times where we gotta stay home and get this done, you know, and we gave up some really cool things. So I love that.
• 40:02
  I know the people are going to want to glean more of your amazing wisdom and over 25 years experience in education. Where can my listeners find you first, and where can they buy your book?
• 40:20
  Colleen Kessler: Yeah. Thank you. Okay. So you can find me at raisinglifelonglearners.com and everything is there. Links to my podcast, which you could find on all podcast players.
• 40:30
  It's the same name. You could find information about my community there. It's linked at the top. All my social is there, but I'm pretty much either colleen kessler or raising lifelong learners on all social media platforms, and the book, The Homeschool Advantage, a child focused approach to raising lifelong learners. Okay.
• 40:47
  So you can find the book anywhere the books are sold. You can find it, you know, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, wherever, actually, local bookstores have it. I found it, which is so fun. I know you've experienced this too. Right?
• 40:57
  Finding your book out in the wild.
• 40:59
  Christy-Faith: It's so weird. It's so and then and then Scott was like, you should hide and sign it. And so I was there signing my book. And of course, what are what are my kids doing? I'm hungry.
• 41:10
  When can we go? Like, they do not even it's like, this is a moment, kids. They didn't care. Yeah. Which is good.
• 41:18
  Colleen Kessler: It's funny. The first time I signed one of my books in the store, they, like, checked my ID to make sure I was really the person. Like, I'm not just gonna put why would I pick up a random book? Like, whatever. And and a parenting book of all.
• 41:33
  You know? If I was gonna pick up a book and pretend to be an author, I don't know that it would be like a parenting book. But, anyway, but it was fun because then they had me sign it, and they put the, like, autograph copy sticker on the top, which was fun. But it is. You can find it anywhere, and I would love it if you do grab the book.
• 41:49
  I'd love it if you'd leave a review on Amazon or wherever you purchase it from because it really helps. Christy will tell you. It really helps get those reviews up, and it lets other people know that it's a book worth reading. And it is something I'm incredibly proud of and is a culmination of a lot of years of parenting and teaching and and then just my education background. So I appreciate you giving me this time to chat about it.
• 42:12
  Christy-Faith: Oh, man. Yes. And it truly is such a great book. We joked earlier because my deadline was a little bit earlier than yours. Right?
• 42:21
  Mine came out in March. Yours is yours is out now. And we've always talked about how these feel like companion books.
• 42:28
  Colleen Kessler: Yes.
• 42:29
  Christy-Faith: Don't say? Yes. Absolutely. It's like you pick up where I left off and I think that is just it's it's a beautiful testament of just who you are as a person and how much you care about kids. The last word that I wanna say just about you being a friend and who you are in the homeschool space that I think is pretty unique and special is you remind us how cool our kids are.
• 42:59
  Mhmm. And they are. And to not miss out. And I love that every time I hear you speak, every time I hear your podcast, even all throughout Drip Through This Book is your kids are cool, spend time with them. And and when you uncover how cool they are, you're gonna uncover those interests and then you're gonna lean into those interests and then they're just gonna be these cool adults because and so I just love your messaging and it's so in alignment with everything that I also wrote in my book.
• 43:30
  So thank you so much for coming on the show today, Colleen.
• 43:34
  Colleen Kessler: Thank you for having me. I appreciate your time.