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43 - My Story of the Civil War and the Under-Ground Railroad by Marvin Benjamin Butler · My Story of the Civil War and the Under-Ground Railroad

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Speaker 1: Chapter forty two of My Story of the Civil War
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Speaker 1: and the Underground Railroad by Marvin Benjamin Butler. This libribox
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Speaker 1: recording is in the public domain. The Hospital, chapter forty two,
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Speaker 1: John Keefer had recovered his sight and the partial use
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Speaker 1: of one ear. Jep, a convalescent deaf in one ear,
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Speaker 1: occupied the bunk next to him. The boys had nothing
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Speaker 1: to do but to eat their allowances three times a
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Speaker 1: day and span yards of which they were both overloaded.
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Speaker 1: Had they confined themselves to the truth, one or two
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Speaker 1: days would have exhausted their stock of experiences. But when
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Speaker 1: all that was gone over and becomes tale in thin,
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Speaker 1: then they drew on their imagination and resorted to fiction.
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Speaker 1: They sat as close to each other as they could get,
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Speaker 1: and Keefer would put his mouth to Jep's ear, and
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Speaker 1: he would take in the whole yarn. Then Jeff would
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Speaker 1: in like manner, and Keefer would absorb. And this was
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Speaker 1: kept up from early morning till late at night. This
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Speaker 1: yarn spinning continued for several days until all of the
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Speaker 1: very sick begged for a little rest, But they were
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Speaker 1: wound up and could hardly afford to stop. To save
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Speaker 1: one or two lives. I appealed to the hospital steward,
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Speaker 1: but his efforts were vain, and he brought in the
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Speaker 1: surgeon and told him how they were annoying the rest
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Speaker 1: of the patients. Took Jep and sat him on another cot,
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Speaker 1: and he and the steward carried the cot out in
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Speaker 1: the hall, and then came back and sat Keefer over
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Speaker 1: on my cot and carried his bed out. When this
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Speaker 1: was done, the surgeon ordered them to get up and
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Speaker 1: walk outdoors, which neither of them could do. What are
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Speaker 1: you going to do with us, asked Jep. We have
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Speaker 1: taken your bunks outdoors and you must go too. Why,
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Speaker 1: doctor said Jep, are you going to kill us? That's
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Speaker 1: just what I'm going to do. I would rather kill
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Speaker 1: you two men than have you kill the ten sick
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Speaker 1: boys that are just hanging onto life by a thread.
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Speaker 1: They begged you to stop your infernal yarns, and you wouldn't,
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Speaker 1: And the steward has tried for three days to stop you,
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Speaker 1: and you don't. Now get on your pegs and go along,
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Speaker 1: my lord doctor. I can't walk and I'll die out
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Speaker 1: there in the cold before morning. Oh I can't go, doctor. Finally,
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Speaker 1: Keefer told the doctor to separate them, put one on
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Speaker 1: the north and one on the south side of the room,
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Speaker 1: and they keep quiet. And in this way it was
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Speaker 1: settled and we got some rest. After the death of George,
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Speaker 1: I gradually began to get worse, my condition more critical.
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Speaker 1: My fever had run its course and left me in
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Speaker 1: mortal weakness, as helpless as an infant. They gave me
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Speaker 1: a spoonful of wine every hour till my stomach refused it,
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Speaker 1: but still the doctor forced it down. My rough army blankets,
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Speaker 1: already foul from long use, were poisoned to my skin
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Speaker 1: and were cutting away the flesh. My wrist and bed
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Speaker 1: sores were painful beyond description, and every hour was torture.
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Speaker 1: I realized too that I was fast approaching a condition
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Speaker 1: of stupor, the last stage of this disease, and was
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Speaker 1: losing my grip. How or why I lived was hard
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Speaker 1: to explain when so many had been carried out that
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Speaker 1: came in. Since I did, I had one great incentive,
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Speaker 1: home and friends that loved me, and I would try
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Speaker 1: and live for their sakes, when to die would have
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Speaker 1: been gained for me. To me, then it seemed selfish
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Speaker 1: yield and give up the struggle, but notwithstanding my good resolution,
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Speaker 1: every day a stupor was creeping over me. The chaplain,
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Speaker 1: Aunt Rose and some of the boys were in every day,
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Speaker 1: and John would frequently run in and stay a few
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Speaker 1: minutes in the evening. Louis was faithful in writing to
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Speaker 1: my folks and would bring my letters and read them
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Speaker 1: to me, but when done, I would make no requests
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Speaker 1: and drop off into a stupor again. It was nearly
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Speaker 1: the first of March that the boys began to lose
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Speaker 1: all confidence in my recovery, and then Aunt Rose became
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Speaker 1: more constant and vigilant as a nurse. She would bathe
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Speaker 1: my face and hands, and fix my scalded milk, and
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Speaker 1: coax me to take my wine, and urge me in
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Speaker 1: the most earned this language, to live for my friends
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Speaker 1: and mother. She is watching, waiting and praying for you.
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Speaker 1: I know she is, and she will not keep you up. Marian,
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Speaker 1: you will and must get well. Don't give up. You
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Speaker 1: will try to live, won't you, Mary? Yes, God bless you.
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Speaker 1: I will try, and if I do get well, it
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Speaker 1: will be your prayers and mothers and mays that will
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Speaker 1: save me. She must have stayed with me an hour
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Speaker 1: and her talk encouraged and helped me. She said she
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Speaker 1: had called in several times each day for the last week,
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Speaker 1: and that she had not been able to arouse me
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Speaker 1: but once or twice. You are getting better. But by
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Speaker 1: morning my courage had left me and my whole body
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Speaker 1: was racked with pain. And it was only a few
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Speaker 1: days after this, I think the first of March, that
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Speaker 1: the doctor came in and tried to arouse me, but
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Speaker 1: I was indifferent and hardly responded to his effort. He
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Speaker 1: finally got me to open my eyes and give attention
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Speaker 1: and said, Mariam, your brother is at Nashville on his
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Speaker 1: way here. Rouse up and be ready to go home
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Speaker 1: with him. I did enough to ask, how do you know, doctor,
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Speaker 1: He just telegraphed in for a pass and is on
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Speaker 1: his way now. The sheriff of your county is with him,
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Speaker 1: coming to visit his brother. Rouse up now and be
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Speaker 1: ready when he comes. This did arouse me, and I
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Speaker 1: began to think of home and renewed my resolution to
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Speaker 1: not give up. But in a couple of hours I
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Speaker 1: was as dead as ever and remained so till the
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Speaker 1: doctor came in again and urged, as before, Marion, wake
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Speaker 1: up your brother is at Laverne. Have just gotten a
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Speaker 1: telegram from him, will be here in the morning. The
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Speaker 1: railroad's torn up and he will come with Sutler. Oh, doctor,
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Speaker 1: you told me several days ago that he was at Nashville,
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Speaker 1: and he's not here yet. That was only this morning.
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Speaker 1: He is coming, but the roads are bad. Here is
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Speaker 1: the telegram. We are at Laverne, will be there by noon.
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Speaker 1: This gave me a stimulant that lasted till the next morning.
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Speaker 1: Then the minutes seemed like hours, and the hours days,
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Speaker 1: and by noon I was as dead as before. Then
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Speaker 1: Aunt Rose came in and bathed my face and hands,
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Speaker 1: gave me my scalded milk as soon as she could
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Speaker 1: arouse me, and then after that a large spoonful of wine. Marian,
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Speaker 1: do you know your brother is in camp and will
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Speaker 1: be here in a few minutes. He is eating his
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Speaker 1: dinner now, but we'll be in very soon and take
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Speaker 1: you home. Oh aunt Rose, I know you would not
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Speaker 1: trifle with me. Is he really here? Is he really here? Yes,
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Speaker 1: he is in camp. Now cheer up. Now you are
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Speaker 1: going home with him. Didn't I tell you you'd get
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Speaker 1: home soon. Billy came in with two satchels and sat
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Speaker 1: them down by my cot, and I smelled apples. Whose
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Speaker 1: are those, billy? Your brothers, he answered, And why don't
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Speaker 1: he come? He'll be here in a few minutes. Don't worry.
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Speaker 1: I watched and waited how long every minute seemed the
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Speaker 1: door opened. There stood my brother. Oh Francis, come here.
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Speaker 1: I used all the strength I had and raised my arms.
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Speaker 1: Oh come. He looked at me twas but a step
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Speaker 1: from the door to my cot. When he saw my
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Speaker 1: emaciated condition, he was like a child. He could not
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Speaker 1: control himself and cried and sobbed like a child. Oh
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Speaker 1: maryin my dear brother, is this you? And there was
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Speaker 1: silence between us, for neither of us could speak. He
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Speaker 1: had knelt down and put his head on my cot
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Speaker 1: and continued to sob. I was the first to speak,
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Speaker 1: and said, don't, princess, don't I am better now, I'll
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Speaker 1: go home with you. Don't feel so badly. I'm not
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Speaker 1: so bad as I look. I will get well. I'll
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Speaker 1: not die now. Oh I will get well. Aunt Rose
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Speaker 1: sat at the foot of my cot, and oh how
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Speaker 1: her eyes shone through her tears. She rose, took my
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Speaker 1: hand and, speaking very low, now you get well, Marian,
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Speaker 1: I know you will, and go home to your mother,
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Speaker 1: and left very quietly. As soon as Princess could speak,
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Speaker 1: he said, Marian, have I done you harm? I'm afraid
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Speaker 1: I have no no. Prentice Joy never kills. Tell me
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Speaker 1: of home of mother, May and sisters. Tell me all,
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Speaker 1: and I'll rest and listen. My apathy was all gone.
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Speaker 1: Then he gave me loving messages from all that they
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Speaker 1: were all watching, waiting and praying for my return home.
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Speaker 1: And I then resolved again to live, though it might
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Speaker 1: be through greater suffering than I had yet endured. I
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Speaker 1: slept and rested some through the night, though it seemed long,
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Speaker 1: I could lie in no position except on a raw
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Speaker 1: sore as large as one's hand. In the morning, as
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Speaker 1: soon as I had eaten my milk, Prentice looked me
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Speaker 1: over and found me in a terrible condition. He had
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Speaker 1: brought from home some soft linen cloths, castile soap, and vasileine.
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Speaker 1: He took warm soft water and carefully bathed me all over,
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Speaker 1: washed and cleansed the bed sores, and furnished Aunt rose
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Speaker 1: cloth and batting, from which she made some nice cushions
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Speaker 1: with openings through them for me to lie on. By night,
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Speaker 1: my condition was much improved, and my stupor did not return.
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Speaker 1: Some ten days before this, I had requested my head
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Speaker 1: to be raised, so an attendant picked up an overcoat
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Speaker 1: that lay on a vacated cot and put it under
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Speaker 1: my head. The owner had used it for a pillow
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Speaker 1: and died a day or two before. This coat was
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Speaker 1: loaded with vermin. And when Prentice drove the comb through
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Speaker 1: my hair, the vermin tumbled out, like ripe berries from
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Speaker 1: a bush, a whole handful of them, so many that
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Speaker 1: he stepped to the fireplace and threw them in. And
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Speaker 1: when I heard them crack like salt in the fire,
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Speaker 1: I had my first laugh. Then I made him let
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Speaker 1: me look at them, and to see them scramble around
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Speaker 1: in his hand furnished me amusement for an hour. I
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Speaker 1: really think, without enlarging, that on this first day he
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Speaker 1: caught and burned up enough to have stocked all the
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Speaker 1: district schools in our state. All this aroused me from
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Speaker 1: my stupor, furnished me diversion, and kept me from thinking
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Speaker 1: of myself and pain. My brother bought new blankets and
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Speaker 1: had my old ones boiled and washed, but cotton sheets
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Speaker 1: he could not find in town, but Aunt Rose came
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Speaker 1: in with one cotton sheet large enough to over my
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Speaker 1: cot and a small pillow. These she had taken off
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Speaker 1: from her own bed, and Princess tried to pay her
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Speaker 1: for them, but no, not one cent would she take.
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Speaker 1: A few days after Princess reached me, I received lying
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Speaker 1: from John, saying that he had been thrown from a
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Speaker 1: horse and had a broken leg, and this was the
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Speaker 1: reason why he had not called on me for the
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Speaker 1: last ten days. After several days, I began to notice
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Speaker 1: that I was gaining some strength. I could move my limbs,
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Speaker 1: and when the covers were raised, I could turn from
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Speaker 1: my back to my side without help, and this gave courage.
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Speaker 1: My appetite was better, and the doctor advised that a
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Speaker 1: small amount of toasted bread might be added to my
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Speaker 1: hot milk. I had got over my stupor and was
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Speaker 1: full of courage. But my brother knew, and so did
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Speaker 1: I realized that my recovery was yet uncertain. I had
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Speaker 1: instructed him, in case of my death, to take my
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Speaker 1: remains home, and loaded him with many messages of love.
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Speaker 1: One day, a friend of ours, a near neighbor by
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Speaker 1: the name of Charles, McLane, belonging to an Illinois regiment,
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Speaker 1: looked us up and called at the hospital, and soon
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Speaker 1: after I ate my dinner. Prentiss wished to change me,
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Speaker 1: and with McLean's help, lifted me on my blankets and
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Speaker 1: placed me on an unoccupied cot next to mine. When
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Speaker 1: my bed was made, the boys took me up to
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Speaker 1: move me back, just as some one opened the door
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Speaker 1: and let a current of air strike me, which threw
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Speaker 1: me into a chill, a nervous chill. The boys covered
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Speaker 1: me up, but this did no good. They gave me
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Speaker 1: a double dose of wine and filled wine bottles with
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Speaker 1: warm water and placed warm brick to my feet, and
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Speaker 1: still I shook and chilled. Princess ran into doctor M's
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Speaker 1: office for help, but he was in a condition of
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Speaker 1: stupor from benzene or other drug and would not move,
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Speaker 1: and the boys believed I was dying. Princess almost groaned
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Speaker 1: in despair as nothing seemed to get me warm. But
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Speaker 1: still they worked all the harder, and before night I
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Speaker 1: was over my chill and yet alive, and no fever resulted.
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Speaker 1: That night I was quite exhausted, and Louis and Almond
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Speaker 1: sat up with me all night and that gave Prntice
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Speaker 1: a rest For a few days. My life hung in
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Speaker 1: the balance, and it was an unsolved problem as to
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Speaker 1: the result. The next morning, when Princess came in, I
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Speaker 1: told him not to be discouraged, for I felt hungry.
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Speaker 1: The doctor had been giving me the strongest preparation of
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Speaker 1: iron for some time, and the dark blue irruptions on
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Speaker 1: my wrists were less painful, and my bed sores were
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Speaker 1: certainly healing. About the fifth of April, a large bedroom
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Speaker 1: in the second story with a fireplace was vacated, and
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Speaker 1: Doctor Martin very kindly gave us the room. He said,
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Speaker 1: I was determined to live, and he give me from
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Speaker 1: this on the best possible chance. In this large room,
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Speaker 1: I began to gain and we began to talk about
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Speaker 1: going home. Began to lay plans, and almost fixed the
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Speaker 1: time when one day Princess was taken very sick with
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Speaker 1: malarial fever, and that night, while he and I were alone,
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Speaker 1: he became raving crazy. He walked the room and raved
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Speaker 1: like one mad, until an attendant in an adjoining room
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Speaker 1: heard the racket and came in, laid him down on
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Speaker 1: a cot and got some cold water and bathed his
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Speaker 1: head till he got quiet, then got the doctor, and
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Speaker 1: in four or five days he broke the fever, and
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Speaker 1: Princess began to mend. The doctor was very attentive, and
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Speaker 1: the boys and Aunt Rose were very kind. Brother was
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Speaker 1: quite well in about ten days, and again we began
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Speaker 1: to talk of home. End of Chapter forty two