Latest / Amazing Life Breakthrough / Ep 59 | Comfort or Calling?
Transcript
- 0:05SPEAKER_00: It's another amazing life breakthrough day.
- 0:10SPEAKER_00: This is Steve Klein.
- 0:12SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes the hardest decisions in life are not between something good and something bad.
- 0:17SPEAKER_00: They are between something good and something right.
- 0:20SPEAKER_00: That distinction can change everything.
- 0:22SPEAKER_00: A good job can still take you in the wrong direction.
- 0:25SPEAKER_00: A comfortable situation can still keep you stuck, and an opportunity that looks perfectly reasonable to everyone else may quietly pull you farther away from the life you believe you are supposed to build.
- 0:38SPEAKER_00: If you listened on Tuesday, I shared the story of sitting in my car with a brand new Pizza Hut manager trainee uniform.
- 0:46SPEAKER_00: On paper, it was a solid opportunity.
- 0:49SPEAKER_00: I knew the restaurant business, I had experience, and I had a clear path toward management.
- 0:55SPEAKER_00: But while I sat there holding that uniform, I realized something.
- 0:58SPEAKER_00: I had spent years preparing for a career in computers, and yet because breaking into that field was difficult, I was about to choose the road I already knew simply because it was available.
- 1:11SPEAKER_00: I ended up driving to the Oregon coast, walking along the beach, thinking everything through, and eventually returning the uniform.
- 1:19SPEAKER_00: Three months later I finally landed my first computer job.
- 1:23SPEAKER_00: But today I want to focus on the part between those two moments, because returning the uniform was one decision.
- 1:29SPEAKER_00: Living with the uncertainty afterward was another.
- 1:33SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Amazing Life Breakthrough.
- 1:36SPEAKER_00: I'm Steve Klein, and today we're going deeper into comfort versus calling, how to know whether a risk is courageous or simply reckless, what to do when other people don't understand your direction, and how to keep moving when the path you believe in is taking longer than you expected.
- 1:51SPEAKER_00: Let's start with something important.
- 1:53SPEAKER_00: Comfort is not bad.
- 1:55SPEAKER_00: We sometimes talk about comfort as though being comfortable automatically makes you lazy or weak, and I don't believe that.
- 2:02SPEAKER_00: There are seasons when stability is exactly what you need.
- 2:06SPEAKER_00: If you have a family depending on you, significant financial obligations, health concerns, or other responsibilities, choosing the stable option may be the wisest thing you can do.
- 2:16SPEAKER_00: You don't prove courage by creating unnecessary chaos, and you don't prove faith by refusing to plan.
- 2:23SPEAKER_00: The real question is not, is this comfortable?
- 2:26SPEAKER_00: The question is why am I choosing it?
- 2:28SPEAKER_00: Am I choosing stability because it supports the larger direction of my life?
- 2:33SPEAKER_00: Or am I choosing it because I'm afraid to move?
- 2:36SPEAKER_00: That is where things get very interesting.
- 2:39SPEAKER_00: Fear and wisdom can sometimes sound very similar.
- 2:42SPEAKER_00: Wisdom says, think this through.
- 2:45SPEAKER_00: Fear says, don't move.
- 2:48SPEAKER_00: Wisdom says count the cost.
- 2:50SPEAKER_00: Fear says anything could go wrong.
- 2:52SPEAKER_00: So stay exactly where you are.
- 2:54SPEAKER_00: Wisdom helps you prepare.
- 2:56SPEAKER_00: Fear can make preparation endless.
- 2:59SPEAKER_00: And there comes a point where you have to recognize the difference.
- 3:02SPEAKER_00: For me, the Pizza Hut management job would have solved an immediate problem.
- 3:06SPEAKER_00: I needed work, and it was at a time that I could really use the money.
- 3:10SPEAKER_00: I was tired of trying to break into computers and hearing no.
- 3:14SPEAKER_00: I knew I could succeed in restaurants.
- 3:16SPEAKER_00: There was something comforting about going back to an environment I understood, but but when I looked farther down the road, I knew what could happen.
- 3:24SPEAKER_00: I could become good at it, maybe very good at it.
- 3:26SPEAKER_00: I could get promoted, manage a store, make more money, take on more responsibility, and five years later discover that I had built a career I never intended to build.
- 3:38SPEAKER_00: That's how some of the biggest detours happen.
- 3:41SPEAKER_00: Not through one terrible choice, through a series of reasonable choices that gradually move us farther from our original direction.
- 3:48SPEAKER_00: And sometimes success can actually make that harder.
- 3:52SPEAKER_00: Because once you become successful on the wrong road, leaving becomes more expensive.
- 3:57SPEAKER_00: Now you have status, now you have income, now people depend on you, now you've invested years, and suddenly the comfortable path has roots.
- 4:06SPEAKER_00: That is why it helps to ask early, where does this road lead if I keep walking it?
- 4:11SPEAKER_00: Not just, can I succeed here?
- 4:13SPEAKER_00: Where does it lead?
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: That question applies to careers, relationships, business partnerships, habits, and even the way we spend our time.
- 4:22SPEAKER_00: You can become extremely efficient at traveling in the wrong direction.
- 4:25SPEAKER_00: So how do you know whether something is a true calling or just an impulse?
- 4:29SPEAKER_00: I don't think there is one perfect test, but there are a few things I look for.
- 4:34SPEAKER_00: First, does the direction have history behind it?
- 4:37SPEAKER_00: In my case, computers were not some random idea I woke up with one morning.
- 4:41SPEAKER_00: I had gone to school for data processing and programming, I had studied, I had invested time, I had developed the skill, and I kept coming back to the same direction even when the job market was difficult.
- 4:53SPEAKER_00: And that pattern really means something.
- 4:56SPEAKER_00: Maybe you keep returning to a certain type of work.
- 4:58SPEAKER_00: Maybe people consistently tell you that you are gifted in a certain area.
- 5:03SPEAKER_00: Maybe you find yourself energized by solving a particular kind of problem.
- 5:07SPEAKER_00: Maybe the direction aligns with your values, your strengths, your experience, and the kind of contribution you want to make.
- 5:14SPEAKER_00: A calling does not always arrive like a lightning bolt.
- 5:17SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it appears as a pattern you can only recognize by looking backward.
- 5:22SPEAKER_00: Second, are you willing to do the unglamorous work?
- 5:26SPEAKER_00: Dreams sound wonderful when they are still ideas.
- 5:29SPEAKER_00: The test comes when the dream requires study, repetition, rejection, sacrifice, and patience.
- 5:36SPEAKER_00: I didn't simply say beep, beep, I want to work in computers, beep, beep, and then expect somebody to hand me a career.
- 5:43SPEAKER_00: They'd probably think I was crazy anyway.
- 5:47SPEAKER_00: Instead, I went to school, I learned, I applied, I kept looking, I worked unrelated jobs while continuing to pursue the field.
- 5:55SPEAKER_00: That is one way you distinguish a dream from a fantasy.
- 5:59SPEAKER_00: A fantasy wants the result, but on the other hand, a dream that is becoming a goal starts accepting the work.
- 6:05SPEAKER_00: Third, is the risk calculated?
- 6:08SPEAKER_00: This is important because sometimes people hear stories about somebody quitting a job, launching a company, moving across the country, or taking some other big leap, and they think courage means doing something dramatic.
- 6:20SPEAKER_00: It doesn't.
- 6:21SPEAKER_00: Courage does not require recklessness.
- 6:24SPEAKER_00: When I left the restaurant business, I had some savings.
- 6:27SPEAKER_00: I had education in the field I wanted to enter, and I knew I might need temporary work while I continued applying.
- 6:34SPEAKER_00: There was risk, but it wasn't blind.
- 6:36SPEAKER_00: You can believe strongly in a direction and still ask practical questions.
- 6:40SPEAKER_00: How long can I sustain this?
- 6:41SPEAKER_00: What bills need to be covered?
- 6:43SPEAKER_00: What skills am I missing?
- 6:45SPEAKER_00: What is my fallback if the timing takes longer than expected?
- 6:48SPEAKER_00: Who is affected by my decision?
- 6:50SPEAKER_00: What would responsible preparation look like?
- 6:53SPEAKER_00: Those questions don't weaken courage, they strengthen it.
- 6:57SPEAKER_00: Sometimes faith looks like stepping out.
- 7:00SPEAKER_00: Sometimes faith looks like building a runway before you do.
- 7:03SPEAKER_00: Now let's talk about other people, because this can be one of the hardest parts.
- 7:08SPEAKER_00: What do you do when people you care about don't believe in your direction?
- 7:14SPEAKER_00: Earlier in my life, someone had told a girlfriend of mine that my idea of getting into computers was basically a fantasy.
- 7:21SPEAKER_00: Looking back now, that is almost funny because technology became such a major part of my life.
- 7:27SPEAKER_00: But at the time I didn't have the benefit of hindsight, and I was still the guy trying to get his foot in the door.
- 7:33SPEAKER_00: And that is when other people's doubts have the most power.
- 7:37SPEAKER_00: If you let them have that power, once you succeed, everybody understands the story.
- 7:42SPEAKER_00: Before you succeed, it can sound strange.
- 7:44SPEAKER_00: That's why you have to be careful about whose opinion gets a vote.
- 7:48SPEAKER_00: Notice I didn't say you should ignore everybody.
- 7:51SPEAKER_00: That is another mistake.
- 7:52SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the person questioning you sees something you don't.
- 7:55SPEAKER_00: Maybe your plan really does need work, maybe you are underestimating the cost, maybe your timing is bad, maybe your idea needs to change.
- 8:03SPEAKER_00: So listen.
- 8:04SPEAKER_00: But listen for quality, not volume.
- 8:06SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself whether the person understands the field, knows your character, understands your preparation, and genuinely wants what is best for you.
- 8:15SPEAKER_00: A person can love you deeply and still give poor advice because they are filtering your future through their own fears.
- 8:22SPEAKER_00: That doesn't make them wrong about everything.
- 8:24SPEAKER_00: It simply means their fear should not automatically become your boundary.
- 8:29SPEAKER_00: I think one of the most valuable things you can learn is how to receive feedback without surrendering your direction.
- 8:36SPEAKER_00: You can say, that's worth considering without saying, then I guess I should quit.
- 8:41SPEAKER_00: You can adjust your plan without abandoning the goal.
- 8:44SPEAKER_00: You can slow down without turning around.
- 8:46SPEAKER_00: And sometimes criticism helps you strengthen the idea.
- 8:50SPEAKER_00: If someone says you don't have enough experience, maybe the answer is not to give up.
- 8:54SPEAKER_00: Maybe the answer is to get experience.
- 8:57SPEAKER_00: If they say you don't have enough money, maybe the answer is to save.
- 9:01SPEAKER_00: If they say you don't know how to run a business, maybe the answer is to learn.
- 9:05SPEAKER_00: A useful objection can become part of the preparation.
- 9:09SPEAKER_00: Now what happens when the calling takes longer than you expected?
- 9:12SPEAKER_00: And this is where a lot of people quit.
- 9:14SPEAKER_00: Not because the dream disappears, but because the calendar becomes discouraging.
- 9:19SPEAKER_00: You thought it would take three months, but then it takes a year.
- 9:21SPEAKER_00: You thought the business would grow quickly, but it doesn't.
- 9:25SPEAKER_00: You thought somebody would notice your work.
- 9:27SPEAKER_00: Nobody seems to.
- 9:28SPEAKER_00: You thought one application would lead somewhere and now you've sent twenty.
- 9:32SPEAKER_00: That waiting period can mess with your confidence.
- 9:34SPEAKER_00: You begin asking whether the delay means you chose wrong.
- 9:38SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it does, but not always.
- 9:40SPEAKER_00: Delay and denial are not the same thing.
- 9:43SPEAKER_00: In my case, three months after returning the Pizza Hut uniform, the computer opportunity finally appeared.
- 9:49SPEAKER_00: But I didn't know that while I was waiting.
- 9:52SPEAKER_00: And that is the part we often leave out when telling success stories.
- 9:56SPEAKER_00: We tell the beginning and the breakthrough.
- 9:58SPEAKER_00: We skip the uncertainty in the middle of it all.
- 10:00SPEAKER_00: But the middle is where character gets built.
- 10:03SPEAKER_00: It is where you learn whether you believe in the direction enough to keep preparing without immediate proof.
- 10:10SPEAKER_00: So what do you do during that middle?
- 10:12SPEAKER_00: Keep moving.
- 10:12SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean frantic movement.
- 10:14SPEAKER_00: It means keeping some kind of forward momentum.
- 10:17SPEAKER_00: Learn another skill, send another application, make another connection, improve the portfolio, save more money, test the idea on a smaller scale, or find temporary work that supports you without quietly replacing the goal.
- 10:31SPEAKER_00: That last one is important.
- 10:33SPEAKER_00: There is nothing wrong with taking a bridge job.
- 10:36SPEAKER_00: A bridge job pays the bills while you keep moving toward the destination.
- 10:40SPEAKER_00: The danger is forgetting that it was a bridge.
- 10:43SPEAKER_00: If you take a temporary job, keep one part of your life connected to the longer term direction.
- 10:48SPEAKER_00: One evening a week, one application a day is good, one class, one project, one conversation, something that keeps the dream alive in practical form.
- 10:58SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, temporary can quietly become permanent.
- 11:02SPEAKER_00: There is another question worth asking when you feel stuck.
- 11:05SPEAKER_00: What exactly am I afraid of losing?
- 11:08SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it is money, sometimes status, sometimes approval, maybe it is certainty, maybe you are afraid of looking foolish if the new direction doesn't work.
- 11:18SPEAKER_00: That one is powerful.
- 11:19SPEAKER_00: People will sometimes stay in the wrong situation because failing publicly feels worse than staying privately miserable.
- 11:26SPEAKER_00: But there is a cost to that too, and every decision has a price.
- 11:30SPEAKER_00: Taking the risk has a price, and staying where you are has one as well.
- 11:34SPEAKER_00: We tend to calculate the cost of change while ignoring the cost of staying the same.
- 11:39SPEAKER_00: What does another five years on this road cost you?
- 11:42SPEAKER_00: What happens to your energy, your creativity, your relationships, your sense of purpose?
- 11:48SPEAKER_00: Sometimes staying is absolutely worth it.
- 11:52SPEAKER_00: But make that choice consciously.
- 11:54SPEAKER_00: Don't stay simply because movement feels scary.
- 11:57SPEAKER_00: Now let me bring faith into this because faith has been part of how I process major decisions in my own life.
- 12:04SPEAKER_00: There are times when you can gather all the information, make the lists, consider the risks, talk to wise people, and still not have certainty.
- 12:13SPEAKER_00: Eventually you have to decide.
- 12:16SPEAKER_00: For me, that is where prayer matters.
- 12:18SPEAKER_00: I ask for wisdom and I try to get quiet enough to separate fear from intuition, ego from purpose, and impatience from genuine direction.
- 12:27SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the answer is move, sometimes the answer is wait, and sometimes the answer is you already know what you need to do.
- 12:34SPEAKER_00: You are just afraid to do it.
- 12:36SPEAKER_00: Those are uncomfortable moments, but they can also be clarifying as well.
- 12:41SPEAKER_00: One thing I have learned is that peace does not always mean ease.
- 12:45SPEAKER_00: You can make the right decision and still feel nervous.
- 12:48SPEAKER_00: You can be at peace about the direction while being uncertain about the outcome.
- 12:52SPEAKER_00: Because people sometimes wait for fear to disappear before they move.
- 12:56SPEAKER_00: But fear may not disappear.
- 12:58SPEAKER_00: Courage often means moving with some fear still in the room.
- 13:02SPEAKER_00: The goal is simply not letting fear sit in the driver's seat.
- 13:05SPEAKER_00: So let's make this practical.
- 13:06SPEAKER_00: If you are standing at a crossroads, I want you to consider four things.
- 13:11SPEAKER_00: Look backward.
- 13:12SPEAKER_00: What pattern has been forming in your life?
- 13:14SPEAKER_00: What have you prepared for?
- 13:16SPEAKER_00: Where have your strengths, interests, opportunities, and experiences repeatedly pointed?
- 13:22SPEAKER_00: Then look forward.
- 13:23SPEAKER_00: If you continue on your current road for five years, where does it realistically take you?
- 13:29SPEAKER_00: Next, look at the risk honestly.
- 13:31SPEAKER_00: What could go wrong?
- 13:32SPEAKER_00: How can you reduce unnecessary risk?
- 13:35SPEAKER_00: And what practical preparation would make the decision more responsible?
- 13:39SPEAKER_00: Finally, look inward.
- 13:40SPEAKER_00: Are you choosing this path because it aligns with your deepest values and direction or because it protects you from discomfort?
- 13:47SPEAKER_00: Those four views, backward, forward, practical, and inward, can tell you a lot.
- 13:53SPEAKER_00: You may discover that your current path is exactly where you should remain.
- 13:57SPEAKER_00: And that can be a breakthrough too, because sometimes we spend so much time imagining another life that we fail to recognize the value of the one we are already building.
- 14:07SPEAKER_00: But you may also realize something else.
- 14:10SPEAKER_00: You may realize that you have been standing at the fork in the road for a long time.
- 14:15SPEAKER_00: You already know which direction keeps calling you.
- 14:17SPEAKER_00: And maybe the next step is not quitting your job tomorrow or making some dramatic announcement.
- 14:22SPEAKER_00: Maybe it is simply doing one responsible thing that moves you toward that road.
- 14:27SPEAKER_00: Take the course, update the resume, make the phone call, build the prototype, start saving, write the first page, talk with your spouse, ask someone who has already traveled that road what they would do differently.
- 14:40SPEAKER_00: Small steps can turn an intimidating calling into a practical direction.
- 14:45SPEAKER_00: And I want to leave you with one more thought.
- 14:48SPEAKER_00: Years ago, sitting in that Pizza Hut parking lot, I could have put on the uniform.
- 14:53SPEAKER_00: Nobody would have criticized me.
- 14:54SPEAKER_00: It was a good job for a young adult going to college.
- 14:58SPEAKER_00: I probably would have done well.
- 15:00SPEAKER_00: And there are plenty of people who built great careers in that industry.
- 15:03SPEAKER_00: But it was not my road, and that is the difference.
- 15:06SPEAKER_00: You don't need to judge someone else's road to recognize your own.
- 15:10SPEAKER_00: What is right for another person may be completely wrong for you, and what looks strange to them may be exactly where your gifts belong.
- 15:18SPEAKER_00: Your responsibility is not to live someone else's life.
- 15:22SPEAKER_00: Your responsibility is to live yours wisely.
- 15:26SPEAKER_00: So here is your challenge.
- 15:28SPEAKER_00: Take fifteen quiet minutes sometime this week, without the phone, without distractions, and write down the two roads in front of you.
- 15:35SPEAKER_00: Maybe they are not dramatic roads.
- 15:38SPEAKER_00: Stay or change, comfort or growth, wait or move.
- 15:42SPEAKER_00: Keep doing what you know or begin learning what comes next.
- 15:45SPEAKER_00: Then underneath each road, right where you believe it leads in five years, don't judge the answer immediately.
- 15:52SPEAKER_00: Just look at it.
- 15:53SPEAKER_00: Sometimes seeing the roads on paper makes the decision much clearer.
- 15:57SPEAKER_00: And remember, you are not looking for the hardest path just because it is hard.
- 16:02SPEAKER_00: You are looking for the path that is aligned.
- 16:04SPEAKER_00: The path that is aligned with you and for you.
- 16:08SPEAKER_00: The one that moves you toward the person you believe you are supposed to become.
- 16:12SPEAKER_00: Sometimes that road is comfortable, sometimes it isn't.
- 16:15SPEAKER_00: But if you know the difference, you are far less likely to wake up years later wondering why you never tried.
- 16:22SPEAKER_00: If this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who may be standing at a crossroads and trying to decide between what is safe and what they believe they are called to pursue.
- 16:32SPEAKER_00: And if you haven't yet, follow or subscribe to Amazing Life Breakthrough so you don't miss future episodes.
- 16:39SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to support the mission financially, you can make a small donation at AmazingLifebreakthrough.com.
- 16:46SPEAKER_00: Every contribution helps us continue sharing messages that may give someone the breakthrough they need at exactly the right time.
- 16:54SPEAKER_00: Thanks for spending this time with me on Amazing Life Breakthrough.
- 16:57SPEAKER_00: And remember to live life to the fullest.