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How do narcissists feel on their birthday? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how do narcissists act on
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  their birthdays. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of The Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
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  welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.
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  So before you ask, yes, it is my birthday.
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  I am 39 years old today, July 14th, 1985.
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  Yes, but that's where it goes with y'all.
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  So of course, being that today's my birthday, it inspired today's
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  video. How do narcissists act on their
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  birthday? How do they feel inside on their
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  birthdays? I, I, I can tell y'all.
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  This right here. Even being self aware of
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  narcissistic personality disorder and being in therapy
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  for the last seven years, for one thing I've still struggle to
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  do is just embrace my birthday. You know, I'm yeah.
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  Am I happy to be alive? Yes.
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  I'm grateful for everything I have in my life.
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  But it's just weird feeling inside of me that I just cannot
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  shake. It's just like, I can't be happy
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  on my birthday. And I feel like that could be
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  true for a lot of narcissists out there.
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  Like, for whatever reason, it's damn near impossible for us to
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  be happy on our birthdays. No matter what we do, no matter
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  what gifts we get, no matter what people put into our lives,
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  no matter what people bring us, no matter how many people show
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  up, it's impossible because to be consistently happy on your
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  birthday, on a narcissist birthday, I didn't notice.
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  I said consistently happy right there, because you can have
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  spurts of happiness, you can have a moment of happiness.
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  You're like, Dang, this is pretty cool.
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  And then it still shuts down. It's like happiness breaks
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  through the surface a little bit.
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  It peeks a little, peeks happiness, peeks, peeks his head
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  out. Hey, I'm here for a little
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  while. And then they disappear and they
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  might come back out again. But it's just like one of those
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  things that it ends up being very fleeting and whatnot.
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  So being, but being self aware does help me because I know my
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  birthday isn't just about me because I have kids, all my
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  kids, they like celebrating birthdays and things like that.
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  So they, you know, got balloons and stuff up and you know, I
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  didn't, I don't know if they bought me a gift or anything
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  like that, but they sang happy birthday.
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  You know, I'm just like, thanks kids.
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  But inside it's a it's a struggle still, you know what I
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  mean? Inside it's still a struggle to
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  do any like to feel that this to feel anything on my birthday,
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  like I'm happy when they sing happy birthday, I'm happy today,
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  go out of their way and whatnot. But it's still at the end of the
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  day, my birthday. It's still, I think I don't I
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  think every year on the calendar, let's say narcissists
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  know that they're getting older, you know, mortality.
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  I think most narcissists are afraid of death like most
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  people, but I think most narcissists don't want to face
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  their mortality. So it's just like, damn, if I,
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  you know, I'm 39, the average age of a person is this.
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  Am I halfway there? You know, it ain't like
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  yesterday. I know y'all if you follow my
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  channel consistently. So yesterday I did a video on
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  how narcissists behaved at funerals.
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  One of my friends from high school passed away and his
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  funeral was yesterday. You know, so it's just like even
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  this even more mortality right there in front of your face.
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  It's like, OK, I got this. It's my birthday.
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  He passed away yesterday. He died at 37.
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  He didn't make it to his 38th birthday.
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  You know, I died. I didn't die.
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  I'm still alive, and it's my last year.
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  One in the 40 just makes you feel weird.
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  Yeah. You know, it's the inner.
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  The inner dialogue in a turmoil going inside of yourself makes
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  it hard for you to have a good day.
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  Like there are a lot of narcissists that disappear on
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  their birthdays, you know, they disappear to make excuses for
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  what they're going to do. They disappear, they don't show
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  off other people. They do a lot of weird things
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  and whatnot. And they might cause ruckus.
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  Like you might even experience narcissistic rage on a
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  narcissist's birthday, you know, because inside they are stewing
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  inside they are like ready to blow up for whatever reason.
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  And it has way less to do with you.
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  It's not y'all. I know a lot of people.
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  It's, it's, it's easy for me to say this, but it's a lot of
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  people who still don't take it in.
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  It's very hard to deal with a narcissist on their birthday.
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  And it's very hard to not take it personally when somebody is
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  yelling and screaming at you and launching personal attacks at
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  you. But it's not you.
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  It's them. Because inside there's inside
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  they're boiling around inside they're battling their own, you
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  know, not battling their own demons because there's, you
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  know, there's such a simplistic way of putting it, but inside
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  there's a lot going on right? Inside there's a lot, a lot of
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  feelings, a lot of different things, a lot, you know, there's
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  a, a lot to process inside of their minds and whatnot.
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  So it's a lot to ends up being a lot to deal with as a
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  narcissist, you know what I mean?
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  As a narcissist myself, it ends up being a extremely lot,
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  extremely lot to deal with is overwhelming.
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  Like so many people have like especially big birthday
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  surprises and things like that. You might throw a birthday
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  surprise party for your narcissistic partner or parent
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  to whoever, right? And they'd be like, yeah, thanks
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  for this. And they internally are angry as
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  hell at you. They're furious because they
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  don't want to celebrate their birthday because their birthday
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  is like I said, another, another mark on the calendar.
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  Yes, I'm older. Yes, I feel like this.
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  Yes, I'm I'm getting, I look older.
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  I don't look like the same way I do.
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  Like, especially if you get the extremely vain narcissist, like
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  the narcissistic people that are really narcissistic.
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  What I mean by that they just care so much about how they
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  look. They'll be just, you know,
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  staring at themselves and trying to analyze themselves.
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  Like, do I look older? Am I, am I older?
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  How do I look? You know, it, it starts to
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  become bothersome to them. Like it's not a wrinkle.
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  It's got a new wrinkle right there.
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  Oh my goodness. And then they'll just, they'll,
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  you see them doing a lot of comparing and contrasting
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  photos. Like this is me at 39.
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  This is me at 29. I, if anything, I look younger.
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  They'll just, you know, the aging process, the aging is a
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  narcissist enemy and narcissist's biggest enemy.
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  One of the narcissist's biggest enemies is, you know, the aging
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  process, getting older and whatnot it and that's the thing
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  it's hard to deal with. It's hard to battle.
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  You can't make nobody get you can fight aging, but aging is
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  going to win. You know, you can, you can fight
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  the battle against aging to get older, but they battle, they're
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  aging is going to win. You know what I mean?
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  Being realistic, aging is going to win 100 out of 100 times.
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  They may you can Botox it, you can plastic surgery, but 100 out
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  of 100 times aging is going to catch up to you and is going to
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  win. You know, you might, you might
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  fight it off for a little while. You look, you might, you might
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  hit aging with A2 piece, put it to sleep for a little while, but
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  when they wake up, it's going to hit you something fierce.
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  When they wake up, it's going to come back at you like something
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  fierce, you know, And that's the process though, y'all.
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  And this is what a lot of people deal with like especially with
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  narcissistic people. So if you have the extremely
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  vain narcissist, right, that hates how they look and you
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  know, it's never satisfied with how they look.
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  They might spend 3-4 hours in the gym, they might go on a fad
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  diet. They might do something crazy
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  prepare for anyway you can. Of course, you can get the
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  boring narcissist that doesn't want to do anything anyway.
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  They just want to sit around the house and soak and be depressed
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  on their birthday. And not only are they depressed
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  on their birthday, they make everybody else around them feel
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  depressed on their birthday as well.
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  You can get that me a lot of people get that type of
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  narcissist, right? You get that type of narcissist,
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  but be some people need to prepare for the erratic natured
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  narcissist, right? The narcissist out there that is
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  losing their damn minds and going crazy and saying and doing
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  a lot of different things, right?
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  You can, you have to prepare for that as well, because there is a
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  plethora, an an abundance of narcissists out there.
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  They act like that. They behave like that.
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  They do this right here. You know, they, they, they might
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  go cheat on you on a birthday, Blue Jay.
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  You know, they might go cheat on you on your damn birthday.
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  Imagine that like donut birthday.
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  They pretend to be depressed with you and they go spend time
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  with the new supply. They go love bombing somebody
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  else. They like they take the gift
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  that you give them and just just make it like make it sound like
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  you didn't give them anything like nothing you do is good
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  enough for this person because it's their birthday.
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  You know, it's their birthday, blah, blah, blah.
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  But will I can do it on the video of how narcissists act on
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  your birthday. I've done something in the past,
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  but because today's my birthday, I'm just like, I haven't filmed
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  the video for today. Let me go ahead and pop this out
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  right here, because that's the mindset of y'all.
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  That's that's really is the dynamic.
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  Like they feel like their birthday is just another time of
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  day. And when it's just, it's just
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  another day is oh, just, you know, you overreacting to my
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  birthday. You doing this, you doing that.
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  This is how they feel, you know, like you can't do anything to
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  make them make them truly happy on their birthday.
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  Like I said, you might can surprise them and shock them for
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  a little bit, but sooner or later they're going to go back,
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  revert back to their old born old, you know, sad behaviors on
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  their birthday. But of course you can.
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  You can get the exact opposite type of narcissist that goes it
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  goes because that literally goes crazy on their birthday, loses
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  their mind and just parties it up, gets super drunk you makes
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  the day about them and ruins everybody elses day.
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  Like they, they're not boring, but they can ruin everybody
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  elses day in this space right here, you know, within this,
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  they, they can ruin everybody else's day because they go all
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  out above and beyond. They want the most glamorous of
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  birthdays. They want to spend.
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  They, they might be behind on their mortgage or behind late,
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  late on the light bill, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to
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  have a great birthday. You know, I'll be damned if I'm
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  not. I'm going to sacrifice my
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  birthday for this, for that, blah, blah, blah, Boo Boo, Boo
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  BBB. That's the truth right there.
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  That's the truth. If you start dealing with
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  narcissistic people, you'll see how true that is right there,
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  how true that becomes. Because they don't want to be
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  truly happy, you know? I mean, they don't want you to
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  be truly happy on their birthday and whatnot.
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  And it's like I said again, at the end of the day, it does suck
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  to have to deal with somebody like this.
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  It does suck They have to try to plan and be happy with somebody
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  like this. It sucks so, so bad.
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  It's one of the suckiest things that hackers and whatnot, like I
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  said, narcissists on their birthdays are typically not
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  pleasant to be around. You typically don't want to have
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  to deal with them. You typically don't want to have
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  to be around them. You know, go through the motions
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  if necessary, if you need to go feel like you need to go through
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  the motions because like, if you don't like, if they rule, if
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  they've ruined their last four birthdays, which you write their
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  last four birthdays, they've ruined, right?
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  And so usually I'm not going to wish you happy birthday anymore
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  and you're not going to do anything for the birthday.
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  Like they they've ruined their birthdays and made it seem like
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  you don't do enough and talk trash to you or every single one
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  of their last birthdays, right? So you decide like, OK, I'm not
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  doing anything else for your birthday.
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  Why would I do that? Guess what happens if you don't
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  do anything for the birthday? You still get argued, yelled and
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  screamed that you still get put down.
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  It's like a lose lose situation. You can't win like if you go all
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  out for their birthday, you, you overdid it.
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  You didn't do enough. Now you don't do anything for
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  the birthday. How dare you must not never care
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  for me. You don't love me.
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  Look at it. If you love me, you would give
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  me some for my birthday. You see what I'm saying?
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  It's damn near a lose lose situation and a lot of these
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  dynamics, a lot of these processes.
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  Yeah. So thank y'all for being here.
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  Thank y'all for tuning in drop out.
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  You know, thanks for all. Like somebody gave me like a
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  super chat or whatever yesterday on my channel for my birthday.
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  I was like, well, all gifts are appreciated.
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  Y'all. Thank y'all so much.
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  I'm really I'm super thankful for y'all and my Facebook page
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  is still currently hacked. It is y'all.
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  So we'll see about that I'll let y'all know if I ever get it
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  back. They plan and they're posting
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  like weird videos and getting people mad and people in my
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  people in the comment section talking launching personal
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  attacks on me for this because somebody, a hacker shared a
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  weird video. So if y'all follow me on
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  Facebook, please go to that last video they shared about the
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  young girl, but that that is clearly sick and just say hey,
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  Lee was hacked and whatnot because they again they blocked
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  me from the page. I can't comment on it.
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  So anyways, thank you so much peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
• 12:07
  to the channel. Help us reach more people and
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  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse
• 12:11
  through another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.