Latest / Because Fuck You That's Why Podcast / Show #165 Multicoastal Biotches and Biastards

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Show #165 Multicoastal Biotches and Biastards · Because Fuck You That's Why Podcast

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Because Fuck You That's Why is a founding member of the Odd Pods Media Network.
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Hello, and welcome to episode one sixty five of Because Fuck You That's
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Why. And this is the Multicastal Biaches and Bastards because we have we have
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the we always epic and the always wonderful Bridget and Errand from the bi Coastal
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Biaches. I'm doing fucking great, Bridget. I'm so fucking pleased for you,
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and I'm fucking excited to see you in person again at the start of
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next month's That'll be great. We've mentioned it on the show prior I think
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what We're taking a trip to Jersey to see Hollywood Babylon live uh and also
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meet some some new friends Caroline and possibly Maddie from the Ultra Hope Girls while
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we're down there in Philly. So but thankfully also Bridget we're gonna see as
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we hang out during Hollywood Babylon and hopefully after he yea so really really fucking
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looking forward to that, And of course Aaron from my sister podcast, A
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and E Podcast also with us. Aaron, how goes? I know we
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had some some some technical issues, but I'm glad we got started it go
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it goes good, It goes good. I feel like I just talked to
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you guys, so weird. Uh yeah. Anyway, as per normal,
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I got three silly games for us to play, and as per you know,
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the tradition that we've been doing lately is usually we split the Wonder Boys
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up and make them play against each other with one guest from either side of
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the people we have on. But this time, as we've been doing lately,
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the Michael's Beaches are going to be taking on the Dream Team over here.
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Uh yeah, So it's gonna be the girls versus the boys. And
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I have no offense, but I'm rooting for the girls, don't I just
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played a game with all three of y'all and smoked us. Yeah, I
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think we might be okay, and I'm one loss. It was everyone for
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themselves and Aaron smoked all three of us. Yeah, I'm pretty sure this
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is probably gonna go similarly. But fingerscrossed, knock on wood. We'll find
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out. Uh should we? No, we shouldn't just get started. We
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always start with introductions, don't we. Oh yeah, we should do that.
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Um, that makes sense, So I guess I'll start with the introduction
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question, and we will start with you, Stevie. Why not cool?
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Yeah? First, because you're you're a veteran and podcaster and a veteran podcaster.
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Um, and I guess the question I will ask, because it's pertinent
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to me at least, is what's the coolest thing that's happened to you this
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week? Coolest things happened to me this week? Yeah? Okay, Um,
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I got a new motorcycle. Hell yeah, this thing is fucking funny.
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Shit. And because this week has actually been kind of nice and yeah,
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time to go driving on you. I've been got like yesterday, like
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I was learned. I didn't. I got my license last October, but
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I haven't been able to ride because the winner and everything. Finally got my
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bike last month. And I've been going out a little learning because I've ever
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really written before, right, So I'm going around the park a couple of
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times, getting used to it, at the fire hall across the street whatnot.
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Yeah, And now yesterday I took like an hour long ride and just
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took off into the country and it was gorgeous, Like it was the most
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freeing feeling I've had in a long time. Know, some stress, we
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lost our pet yesterday. Um so like getting out in the road and all
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that helped, Like getting out there and just at one point I stopped at
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this field and I just hung out there for like five minutes, took pictures
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and just like sat on the grounded. It felt really amazing. So I'm
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really happy a motorcycle owner and I think I'm gonna be one forever because it
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was great. Awesome, hell yeah awesome. And the other half of the
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wonder twins he's a gamer in a story a storytell everybody. Used to be
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my youngest friend. Uh, and he isn't anymore. So m ever again,
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never again will I be his youngest friend? Yeah? Sorry, I
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can't reclaim that title. Um but les I started knocking people off. He's
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been practicing all those ice man you could The murder route is not recommended.
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What is the coolest thing happening to you this week? Plot a murder?
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No edit out? Okay, no, I like that. You've made me
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an accomplishment witnesses. Now you didn't stop me. I didn't really do anything
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cool this week. I worked. I was an adult this week. But
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you did cool things at work? Oh sure, yeah, I get to
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work with KOI so that's a lot of fun. Yeah, that's always get
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it's fun teaching people about them, especially people that don't know anything about them.
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Yes, it's always a genuine like interesting experience. Always breaking out the
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Oh they keep growing, they don't stop growing thing? Always like wait,
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no, they grow when you know. Nope, it doesn't matter where you
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put them in, they'll keep growing. Wow about breaking that one out.
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Wow, except for maybe like a vice that might stop them growing. I
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mean it'll grow. It will horribly disfigure them because they'll continue to grow.
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Can you do it like you do with watermelon? Put him in a box
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and make a squarecoy? No, No, you can do it like any
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like the Chinese ladies that bind their feet, just perfectly buying the boy so
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it never gets bigger that we love animals. Don't do that to animals.
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Please, don't do that. But let me know when you ship mine.
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So tomorrow, all right, and from the bicoastal beaches, we'll start uh
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with the greatest bitch long island ever produced. It's some people might actually fucking
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disagree with that. Well they're fucking wrong, aren't they. Of course they're
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fucking wrong. Jesus fucking Christ now can we say that Long Island produced you
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since you were born in California? Uh? Well, I think Long Island
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produced for sure. I think it created Yeah yeah, yeah, without a
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doubt, without a fucking doubt, you know. I mean fucking Staten Island.
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Oh Jesus, fucking island. That's fucking horrible, that fucking shit.
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I don't know why fucking Jersey hasn't fucking adopted it yet, because it really
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does fucking belong in New Jersey, same island. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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yeah. The coolest thing I did this week was absolutely fucking nothing.
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I had nothing exciting going on, and the closest thing to something cool was
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sitting at work on a call with one of my IT people, learning about
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some new software that we're going to be able to use and that I'm going
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to help to help produce some stuff from my department. So that was That
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was my excitement, which tells you how fucking sad my fucking life is.
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Oh, I mean that sounding we are good? That we we we must
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be supplanting that. Now, this, this very podcast must be the coolest
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thing you're doing this week by definition, So we are cool, okay,
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good by definition by default? Uh and Aaron. My name twin. Um,
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what about you. What's the coolest thing you did this week? Yeah?
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I got nothing. My My big news is that I'm going on my
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trip next week. This week I've been cleaning my house and it sucks all
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but preparing for next week, yeah, I mean, I definitely am in
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the process of sort of packing fifteen days worth of clothes into a very small
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suitcase where layers. What I always do is I travel with a big raincoat,
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and I have multiple pockets. I stuff underwear and socks, and all
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the pockets and stuff look like it worries don't want to pay for carry on
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du I know that's forty bucks in my pocket. All right, I'm gonna
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wear fifteen days worth of clothes on the plane. I'm gonna be sweating profusely
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whenever I have in Paris. You'll blend in France. Yeah, you'll blend
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in with the smelly, the fucking French. The views and opinions of Bridget
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from Long Island do not reflect or anyone but Bridget. Any opinions on this
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podcast do not reflect anybody on this podcast. Oh man, and I am
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your host. Pants is herein and the coolest thing I did last night was
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I signed the contract to officially make me a published author. Yeah, you've
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entered into the agreement with the publishing company. It is official. So uh,
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sometime, hopefully within the next two months, my book is actually going
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to hit store shelves. And I'm stupid excited about that. Dude. I've
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never been more excited to go to a bookstore in my life, like just
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to go there and be like, hey, check this out. No,
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no, dude, to cover you check this out? You check I know
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that guy, check this out. Do you think your book there it's based
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on me? Motherfucker? Yeah, read it. I'll stand there. I'll
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just stand there in the bookstore and just like walk around like I'm a fucking
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customer. Just recommended to me. I did. I did base one of
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the characters in the book on Steviet. It's pattently obvious who it is.
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Yeah, I was like two chapters and I was like, so this is
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Stevie, and dude, seriously, I take it as an honor that you
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and I love I love it, I love you have all you have,
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all the best comment you have, all the best funny lives. So I
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think it's perfect. Do you think it'll end up in a library. I
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hope. So I told one of the things I wanted to contracts that we
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would be allowed to give it, give access to it in libraries, and
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yeah, not for generations. Your book will be read. We sneak into
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one and put one in there. It's not all that works, gotta go
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in. Just stick the sticker off the end of the next librarian friend.
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Oh yeah, thank yeah, our friend Laura the librarian sends us a bash
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reader copies. But I bet we could get hard to put a couple of
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copies of your book in there, like that would be stupid hot, that
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would be amazing, amazing. Well, I ask, is that you autograph
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my copy? Of course? Of course? Shall we get to the games,
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Yeah, let's just have some and is the Bicoast will be atches versus
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the Wonder Twins. We're gonna play three sill games, and our first CILI
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game is called broken Headlines. I've got three news stories here, but I've
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blanked out the keywords in the headlines. All you have to do is fill
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in the blanks with your own words to create your own headline. The funniest
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answer out of the floor will win your team a point, but I will
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also give a point if you're close enough to the correct answer, So you
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give an option. You can try and guess what the headline actually is,
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or you can try and make something funny. It's up to you. Either
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way is fine. And let's start with headline number one. Mom wrote blank
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book after husband died. Now she's blank with his blank, and I'll read
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that one more time. Mom wrote blank book after husband died. Now she's
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blank with his blank. And whenever you are ready with your headline, go
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ahead and raise your hand so I can call on you. Stevie has a
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headline. Yeah, I probably need the words again. Darn it, I
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got my words, your words. Yeah. So mom wrote a sex book
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after husband died. Now she's banging with his best friend. I'm not gonna
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lie. It's pretty good best case scenario. That's pretty good. I dig
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it. Yeah. Uh, is anybody else ready to? Go ahead and
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raise your hands? Okay, Aaron, what do you got? Are you
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going to read the sentence? Man? I like when you do that.
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Okay. Mom wrote infertility book after husband died. Now she's pregnant with his
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brother's baby. Oh, that's good. Honor of the great ing. That's
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really good. Who would like to go next? I can go next.
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He's ready, okay, ague, what do you got? Mom wrote after
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her husband died. Now she's top chef with his business. Okay, okay,
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okay, that was sweet, little like that. That's kind of a
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positive. Good job, good job positivity. Yeah, yeah, fair enough,
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Bridget your last stop. You're ready, I'm ready, okay, Bridget.
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Mom wrote pink Pink book after husband died. Now she's dominating with his
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stepson. Oh, your son, it's gross. I want to, I
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mean, but I don't. I I have to give Bridget a point for
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that. That's definitely the funniest one. That is definitely the funniest one.
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But nobody gets a point for getting it right because the actual headline was mom
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wrote. Mom wrote children's book after husband died. Now she's charged with his
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murder because she wrote about it in the book. Well, no, she
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actually wrote a book about helping her children move on after daddy died. Yeah,
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it's okay. He's still in the backyard, but it's and she was
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planning a sequel. Oh Jesus, but the cops discovered that she poisoned him.
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Oh shit, yeah, literally handed him like an Irish coffee with like
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a load of fentnel in it fu and it killed him. And this comes
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like weeks after she tried a first time. This was the second attempt.
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Did he end coming to us? See I was called he was maybe he
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was an asked. Maybe he had a comment, I don't know, I'm
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gonna. I'm gonna as I would I would have gone less stuff and that
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you can fight in the garage because shit happens. Wow, all right,
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let's move on to story number two. That is one point for the bicoastal
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beaches. Story number two. Influencer hashtag blank bay that is all one thing
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hashtag blank bay bass spelled bae uh sued for sharing graphic blank material on social
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media and heads up, both blanks are the same word? Oh so both
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both blanks are the same word. Influencer hashtag blank bay sued for sharing graphic
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blank material on social media. Now, to be clear, you don't have
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to make each blank the same word. If you're going for funny, if
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you think there's a way you can make it funny with the two different words,
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go right ahead. But for the real answer, there is only one
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word. I think I think he knows it all right, Stevie, go
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ahead unless you want me to read. Yeah, fair enough. Influencer hashtag
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she goat Bay sued for sharing graphic she got material on social media. I
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mean, I guess that's possible. Yeah, some graphic she goat material on
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your team. I'm trying to make a laugh. You just collapses. Uh,
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anyone? Have theirs ready to go? I'm super it's all fucking confused.
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I'm super torn. But I do think I'm ready, and I think
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I can sum it up with one word. Okay, I have two words
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in mind, all right, Aaron, I'll start reading it off. Influencer
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hashtagage. They ve sued for sharing graphic dge material on social media. Vege
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ba hashtag bay just straight up pussy picks man that wins all the time,
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or a bridget you're the only ones left. I can go. If you
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don't have one, please go, okay what you got? Influencer hashtag old
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old Bay sued for sharing graphic material on social med just old. I really
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was hoping it was going to be old Bay, and then you were gonna
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say, like shrimp. I wanted to keep it consistent. I gause it
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was supposed to be shrimp would have been battling for the real one guy.
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Just old like graphic old film, like maybe like World War two ship or
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something like that. All right, Bridget, it's just down to you.
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What do you got You're ready golf, start reading, all right. Influencer
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hashtag dog trainer Dog trainer Bay sued for sharing graphic beastiality material. It'll do
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it, Okay, I like it. It's very funny. But the one
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that kills me the most is old bait, old Bay, Like what the
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absolute fun So point to Augie, point to the Wonder Twins. Nobody was
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anywhere near close when Stevie thought he had it. I really thought he was
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gonna say this. It's it's influencer hashtag autopsy Bay what she was sued for
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sharing graphic autopsy material on social media. That's somebody else's yeah, yeah,
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you meant by hyah, that's what I thought. Yeah, autopsy Bays used
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to older I'm assuming it was. I'm assuming it was because of Bay.
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I have no idea. I don't know those words. Those young people,
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their words don't make sense to me, their internet words. All right,
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So we're onto the finals. It's tied up one point piece, and here's
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the final headline. Scientists taught blank to make blank. Now they won't stop
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blank again. That's scientists taught blank to make blank. Now they won't stop
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blank. And once again, if anybody's ready to go ahead and raise your
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hands, I answer, he's got one. He's clean again, claims,
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even though the last time he said, she goat. I read that somewhere,
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al right, I thought it was that different angle, a different article.
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I'm sorry, all right, this is the real one. Science.
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Yes, scientists taught cells to make m oh, to make fuck, to
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make fuck. No, No, they won't stop producing. Scientists taught cells
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to make fuck. Yes, now they won't stop. It would have been
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fine if I had the other words in the sentence that worked there, But
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apparently i'm adding shit now Jesus, So that's what I'm using. It would
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have been right if it wasn't for them. Aggie Aaron, Bridget anybody ready,
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I'm ready, Bridget What do you got? Uh? Scientists taught cats
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cats to make knives. Now they won't stop killing people inspired by a true
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story, Jesus, like a badger man. First it was the monkeys.
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Now they won't stop killing people. Wow, fantastic. Um, so it's
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just Aggie and Aaron left. Yeah are you ready? Yeah? Okay.
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Scientists taught dung bells to make tools. Now they won't stop building. They're
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like they're like the dozers of the frago world. Many of the real world
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like dung bells. If they had a ramp. Do you know how much
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stuff they'd accomplish? No, but a lot, I'm guessing Yeah, you
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got a lot, Aaron your last? Are you ready? Not even all
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of it? One escapes my creativity? All right? Well you shot anyway.
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Scientists taught old people to make whoopee. Now they won't stop fucking.
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They just kept forgetting it in to teach you how to do it again.
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The memory care facility again. I think I just bang this. We're just
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going back to the nursing home. Funniest one barton on was Bridgets gotta give
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it up for the cats killing out and with two points to one, that
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means first point of the game goes to the bicoastal beaches. There had one
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point to zero, but the Wonder Twins can still make it up. We're
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gonna play game two right after this. Hey, I'm Lauren and I'm John
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and we host the beard All Podcast, the podcast where we talk about two
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of the greatest things in the world, beer and weird al and a lot
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of other things. We're funny. Yeah, that's basically what I told him
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to say. Good job with listen, yay, but no, seriously,
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we try to care of beer with a weird ol song and talk about both
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things and go the conversation takes us. It's fun. I promise you'll like
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it. Yeah, I mean if you like talking about random things as well
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as you know, fine craft beers and some wonderful craft music. Hey man,
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welcome back. It's time for game two. Game two is going to
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be fine. The Kink. I'm going to describe three people who were caught
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or admitted to engaging in some sort of debauchery, giving you as many details
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as I can about their lives without revealing their sexual proclivities. Each player will
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guess or invent the extremely specific kink that this person has, and if anyone
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is correct, they will earn one point. But of course, the funniest
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answer each round will also earn a point. The team with the most points
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after three rounds wins and earns two episode points. Please note, for decency's
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sake, none of these kinks will be illegal, and I humbly request that
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you all keep your guesses legal as well, although Bridget did argue against that,
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so I'm curious to see what she's going to come on. So it's
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not like snuff films, right, No killing, no stealing, no nothing
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illegal. These are all I hesitate to use the term above board kinks,
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um, but we'll find it a way to make it understand. I'm sure
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you will regulated kinks. Let's start with kink number one. Amber had fantasies
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about her kink when she was ten or eleven years old, often at the
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same time she had gender transformation fantasies. The two kinds of fantasies would often
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overlap until the gender transformation stuff went away and she became much more comfortable expressing
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her kink after she found like minded people on tumbler. Tumblers the picture one
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right, Yes, I used to get a lot of good porn out of
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tumbler. Oh really that kind of day? Yeah, tumbler was great for
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a lot of sex stuff. It was, so there are a few hints
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in there. What was her name Amber? Which just made up by the
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way. Oh okay, all the names are invented. Okay, Google,
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I like it. Um her his cbe you're ready to guess? Okay,
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So all right, Amber's kink was the fantasy of being somebody different, okay,
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like transforming completely. Yeah, like throughout the trans video was a big
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It was huge, and then towards the end when it actually transformed, can
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express them more now, but it's not that whole build up, so kind
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of like role playing then, yeah, okay, I get it. Uh,
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it's a good answer. We'll find out if it's correct at the end
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of the round. Oh darn it as no, Nope. Who would like
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to go next? Two things? What do you think? Yeah? Um,
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well, I think that this sweet little girl was super into my little
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pony, and she stumbled across the brownies and wished she too could be a
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lovely man, and so I think her king was Brownie. Being a brownie
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are awesome. Okay, another good guess. We'll find out if that's correct
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at the end of the past. Augie Bridget, who wants to go next?
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I can go next? Okay. I think she's just really into those
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changeling action figures. Okay. The idea of changing forms, so she like,
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she founds a group of people on Tumblr. They're all in like they
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collect the changeling for yours, so she's attracted to changeling action figures. Yes,
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Okay, another really good answer, but I can't say whether it's correct
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or not. Uh, bridget your last what do you got? I think
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Amber grew up dreaming of pegging men, and then when Amber transitioned into a
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mail, Amber was then able to do it for real, which is why
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it went away. That makes sense. That's really good. It could qualify.
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But um, I'm gonna say that none of these are funny. These
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all appear to be actual serious answer. So I'm just saying nobody gets the
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funny point, sir. But one of you is really really close, and
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I am going to give you the correct answer, which is auto zoophilia.
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Amber is aroused by transforming herself into an animal, which Aaron was really really
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close to. Amber is an actual furry and is sexually attracted to transforming into
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an animalize. Yeah, I was like, it's got to be sillier,
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no, no, but yeah, you were talking about, you know,
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being an animal, Yeah, a brony, a male pony, but still
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you know, counts, so it counts. Yeah, that's one point to
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Aaron, and the bicoastal beach as well. I think that might be the
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only the second time in finding the king history that somebody's gotten it right,
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right, And the first one was you when you figured out the plush dolls.
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Well, we've all had that. That was amazing. Well, we've
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all had that. We've all done a stuffed animal at some point in our
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lives. Don't fucking deny it. Yes, you don't have You just don't
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remember you were sleeping, just that, what did I have? Rape stuff?
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Everybody had a dream at all. Right, let's move on. This
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gets worse, all right. Here is your second kink. Sarah started experiencing
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this kink in adulthood after a news story about the object of her interest caught
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her attention. She considers herself neither delusional nor damaged, but admits that her
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kink is somewhat dangerous, adding, that's kind of the point. What could
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Sarah be into? And does anybody have a guess? Aaron, you think
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you have a guess? All right, go ahead. I think she might
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be into either choking or asphyxiation. Oh, that's a good guess. A
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good time. Again, I won't reveal if you're right until the end of
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the Until the end of the round, Stevie, you look like you had
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an idea? Did and I was like, nope, she's gonna beat me
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a better one now. Oh no, I have to know, right,
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Bridget, Augie still seems to be struggling. I got one, All right,
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Bridget, what do you got? I think she fantasized about the cold
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steel knife and was into knife play. Oh yeah, okay, that is
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a thing, you know, as long as you're cutting yourself. I guess
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it's not illegal, so I'll know that. Yeah again, sensual, it's
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essentially yeah, all right. I won't say whether or not that's right.
32:37
That just leaves the wonder twins whichever she likes to pay. That play the
32:40
stock market the most dangerous game. You mess up, you lose all your
32:47
money. He's sexually attracted to blue chips, is what you're telling me?
32:54
What the Oh my god? All right, Stevie, Um, I think
33:02
she got into you. Ever done shock play? I haven't personally? Yeah,
33:08
yeah, yeah, you do it well, I mean you get shocked
33:12
once, it's like whatever. I've been shocked lots of times. And there's
33:16
something invigorating about it. Okay, Yeah, it's the volts of electricity your
33:22
body. Yeah. Um, well, current kills vulture. Okay, I
33:29
am sad to say this time nobody got it exactly. Really, Yeah,
33:32
but Augie's was definitely the funniest. So I gotta give Aggie the point on
33:38
that one. The correct answer is, um, Sarah has hybristophilia. Sarah
33:47
is aroused by violent criminals. Really, in this case, she had seen
33:53
a serial killer on the news and started exchanging letters with him while he was
33:58
in prison. That seems scary. Yeah, weirdly enough, this is a
34:05
this is a kins. It's fairly common, and it's it's it's way more
34:09
common in women than it is in men for some reason. Um, I
34:15
mean, but bad boys, I mean, I guess it. But a
34:22
motorcycle come on the Well, once again, we have we have a tie.
34:28
Each team has one point, so it's gonna come down to this last
34:30
kinks, all right for kink number three. Brad is a white male in
34:36
his thirties from an upper middle class background, and despite having no childhood trauma,
34:42
he reports having a sexual response to a certain kind of film from a
34:49
very young age. He maintains normal sexual relations as an adult, but expresses
34:55
frustration at not finding many opportunities to experience his kink. What could that be?
35:05
What was his name? Brad? Brad? Okay, do you think
35:08
you have it already? I think so. I think I know the film
35:13
too, which is fucked up. Now I'm scared. Growing up, Brad
35:21
was privileged to a few things, specifically his father's country club, and he
35:24
saw Candy Shack at a young age, and he got this weird thing for
35:30
gophers for gophers, correct you everything Caddyshack? Yes, you know the little
35:37
dance that a little fuzzy bastard does. All right, I think fu so
35:45
it's not I said, he's got a thing for him. There's nothing wrong
35:49
with having anything for him. Yeah, sure that's fair. Guess that's fair.
35:54
Anybody else have a guess? I would like to go? All right,
35:58
Aaron, obviously you're just gonna try to go for funny on this one
36:01
thing, all right. I think Brad had his first orgasm while watching Killer
36:09
Clowns from outer Space. His life, he could only reach orgasm if that
36:15
played while he was having sex with his girlfriend or one night's stand or whatever.
36:22
I think that would be distracting. Oh christ, um, I don't
36:28
even know how Papa is no pap is no dear God. Alright, Aggie
36:34
and Bridget are the only ones left? All right, I got one,
36:37
all right, Aggie. Um uh. He gets off to the SpongeBob movie,
36:43
but specifically the part where David Hasselhoff is in it because he's doing his
36:50
whole Baywatch thing, and then as he's helping SpongeBob and Patrick get to their
36:54
objective, his pectoral muscles move, so some people might find that attractive,
37:00
but they kind of moved in a really kind of robotic mechanical way. Dason
37:06
and David hashof, Wow, I give believe it's a kid. All right,
37:10
you're the only one left. So he like he really enjoyed the movie.
37:16
Look who's talking, especially listening to John Volta's voice as a baby.
37:22
After he grew up, he really got into diaper play and having his pass
37:28
wide and diapers changed. Sho oh man, all right, I exactly,
37:39
I say. Nobody was even close. Um. I guess Aaron was kind
37:45
of close, but not close enough. Um, because it's not the same
37:50
kind of movie at all. Uh. Brad has macrophilia Brad is aroused by
37:55
giants. Uh and after seeing Giant Monster film, he experienced his greatest sexual
38:01
response when seeing someone trampled by a giant, so he wanted a giant to
38:07
step on him. Gosh, yes, what the fuck? M But while
38:14
no one got it correct, the funniest that round was undoubtedly bridget That is
38:20
gonna be another point for the bay host to be at is they take that
38:22
game as well. The one Er Twins are down three to zero across the
38:28
episode, wondering what we're doing, but you still have a chance to catch
38:32
up game three. The final game is worth three points, so you can
38:36
tie it up and we'll find out if they can do it. Right after
38:39
this. Hi, I'm Tina how Tomo and I'm Hillary Dougherty, and we
38:51
host the Muck Podcast, where we discussed the dark and sometimes weird true stories
38:54
in American politics. E. Tina, did you know that Elvis crashed the
38:59
Nixon White House for the sole purpose of getting a DA badge and it worked?
39:05
Or how a gun control advocate senator out of California engaged in gun trafficking
39:09
with notorious gang leader shrimp Boy Boy. I remember him? Okay, so
39:15
you know We cover all of that and more from Malady's Madness, mischief,
39:19
and murder in US politics, and we also host a bi weekly interview segment
39:22
called Little Muck. We interview politicians, journalists, activists, and others who
39:27
share their experiences in politics. Find The Muck Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts,
39:31
and check us out on social media at the Muck Podcast. Hey man,
39:46
welcome back. It's time for Game three. Game three is going to
39:51
be the dumpster Fire. I'm gonna give our players a category and they'll take
39:54
turns naming something from that category that they'd like to remove from society forever by
40:00
throwing it into the dumpster fire. UM. They'll be given a chance to
40:04
explain why they've chosen that particular thing, and every round I'll pick my favorite,
40:08
the thing I most want removed from society forever. That player's team will
40:14
earn one point, and the first team to three points wins this game and
40:17
earns three episode points and either ties the game or gets a clean sweep.
40:22
In the case of the Bicoastal Beaches, UM, CB and Aggie, you
40:27
guys are behind, so I'll give you the choice to you you want to
40:29
go first or second, as we start the topic, I've been sewing everything
40:34
up today, So it's you, what do you want to do? Really,
40:37
because I feel like it was the opposite, But all right, yeah,
40:40
it's your fault. Um, let's go first. Okay, let's go
40:44
first. You're gonna go first. Okay. In that case, I'll tell
40:46
you our very first category is crime TV. Crime TV, gentlemen, each
40:52
of you tell me what about crime TV you'd like to throw into a dumpster.
40:57
Yes, there's too much. Get rid of the crime. It'd be
41:05
amazing if you could do that. I think there's too many crime TV shows.
41:07
How many fucking csis are there? Like seriously, there's like twelve or
41:12
some bullshit, and there's multiple seasons of them all, and then there's like
41:15
there's just too many. A man, I don't need all these different things.
41:20
You have your crime station. Just put it all there and they don't
41:22
have to watch all this or a crap. Like seriously, I flipped through
41:27
stations and it's like four csis and ncis and a JAG. It's like,
41:30
what the fuck? Man put it all in one spot. I want to
41:32
see something different. That's why there's different channels. Okay, I was passionate,
41:37
So I'm hoping for points. Maybe we'll see. I mean, I
41:42
mean, passion helps, but let's see, Augie, what do you want
41:46
to throw into them? I think it's all the over dramatization, Like a
41:51
lot of the they overhype or overplay certain aspects just for views or to kind
41:55
of like really hammer in the situation kind of thing, when oftentimes a lot
42:00
of the crimes are handled a little bit more professionally, less less drama,
42:05
more like you know, law, so something more realistic. You're saying,
42:09
yeah, less less dramatization. Okay, interesting, the dramatization or too many
42:16
crime TV shows? Aaron Bridget, which of you two would like to go
42:21
first? Karon, you want to go first? You want me to go
42:25
first? You go first. They want to get rid of the Kardashians because
42:32
they are a crime against TV. They fucking suck. They should be fucking
42:37
destroyed and nobody should be fucking watching that show. I mean, really,
42:43
they need to get rid of all fucking reality TV, but the Kardashians in
42:46
particular, because they really are a fucking crime and every time they're on,
42:51
they commit a crime because they lower any viewers. IQ by at least one
42:55
point every time they watch the Psychological Warfare. Oh my god, I can't
43:01
even argue. I can it's not it's not a crime show. A crime
43:13
show. I mean, I'm sure I watch and I see your point,
43:19
but I'm looking specifically for things from crime television shows. Ye shows there was
43:25
very good. It may not Aaron What do you got? Okay, I'm
43:32
ready. Yeah, So I would throw into the dumpster fire Missus Colombo,
43:39
which was actually called Kate Loves a Mystery. It was an eighties procedural drama
43:45
based on the wife of the famous detective Colombo. But guess what. She
43:50
wasn't actually a detective. She was a journalist and except and so I'd like
43:54
to erase that. That's a really solid pick um. Uh, the point
44:05
is gonna go to the dream team over here. Shoot, I'm struggling to
44:10
pick between the two. I'm not familiar enough with Missus Colombo to say,
44:15
although it probably it sounds like it should probably be thrown into a dempster fire.
44:21
But I think the thing that resonated the most with me is the sheer
44:23
amount of like sequels and offshoots of crime shows that we had, Like I
44:29
loved NCIS. I couldn't give a shit about either of its offshoots, like
44:34
New Orleans or whatever. The fuck Los Angeles I think was the other one.
44:37
I don't know the original shows quality. The original shows quality tanked after
44:45
they made those offshoots, and I was like, you should have just kept
44:49
the talent and the stories and the good ship in one place. Make your
44:53
show better, don't make three shit shows. Um. So yeah, I
44:58
have to go with TV on that one. I I would like to throw
45:00
too many crime TV shows and offshoots into the dumpster fire. Point goes to
45:05
the by t W boys to start us all right, s Yeah, I
45:08
knew I was gonna pull my weight at some point. Never score another point
45:13
of gas. For our next topic, We're going to have the Bicoastal Beach's
45:17
go first, and our second topic is weird Al Yankovic. Now I ask
45:23
you, how could you find anything wrong with weird Al Yankovic? But that
45:28
is the point. You have to come up with something. Aaron and Bridget,
45:30
is there something about weird Aliankovic that you'd like to throw into a dumpster
45:35
fire? Aaron's got her hand raised. What's up? I would like to
45:38
throw his hair dumpster fire. Wow, it drives me nuts. Weird Kenny
45:45
g fucking stupid, It's so fucking stupid, has the world's worst hair.
46:00
Oh my god, Wow, Okay, very good? Uh, Bridget,
46:05
what have you got? I want to throw him into the fucking dumpster.
46:09
I didn't even know this motherfucker was still around, no less like still producing
46:15
stuff. I don't find it fucking funny. I find it boring. I
46:21
find it juvenile, like just like and like, why do people still listen
46:24
to this ship? And then they fucking go to concerts like why? Like
46:29
fucking why buy weird al go Away going out of the fucking Kardashian's for all
46:35
I fucking care? All right, well, spoiler alert, I did like
46:39
Aaron's hair, very fucking true. That hair is a fucking atrocious and when
46:46
he had that stupid little pencil mustache, they that was horrid, fucking horrid.
46:54
Well, spoiler alert, Bridget, you're not winning this one. Stevie
47:02
and Uggy, which one of you wants to go first? I got on,
47:07
all right, Stevie, what do you go in the movie? H
47:09
not the movie? I love the movie? Okay, the Twinkie hot Dog
47:13
because I tried it after that, and it was not fucking good. So
47:17
I wish I ever raised it because it was not. I put mustard on
47:22
it too, and like some sweet relish because I like relish and mustard on
47:27
my hot dogs. I mean, that's what you put on them. That's
47:29
how you do hot dogs. And it just happen to be well because it
47:32
was in the movie, and I wanted to know when I think of this
47:36
is why you get rid of him when I think about hot dogs. You
47:39
know what I really think? Hey, I would really like to evolve tweinaky
47:44
cream in the front. That's you never looked at something on TV. I
47:51
said, oh, fuck it, I'll try that and then cover it.
47:53
I do it all the time. A fucking twinky, fucking hot dog.
47:59
This is why the mother fuck has gotta go. He influences people like you,
48:04
this band, as the fucking Gardashian is. Were you maybe partaking in
48:10
me when you know before this before there's way before we um all right,
48:16
jesus excuse So? Actually, uh, if I had to throw something out
48:24
of weird El weird Els shit, Uh, it would be his like story
48:30
or his super long songs, some ones that go on for almost ten minutes,
48:35
like, so like, I get it, but yeah, there's Albuquerque,
48:39
Albert. Yeah, like after the first couple of minutes, it's like,
48:43
Okay, I get I get it. It's funny, but it does
48:47
weigh on you a bit. That's fair. Okay, that's fair. Um
48:54
Albuquerque is one of Aaron's favorite songs. Fucking one of my favorites, like
49:01
you can get weird. Al is one of my favorite musicians. Bridget saying,
49:13
um, Stevie to what you mean your sandwich is is funny. I
49:20
would never eat it because because I can mentally imagine that that is not going
49:24
to be a delightful take. Would You won't know for sure until you try.
49:28
But it's funny. In the movie, I liked it. It made
49:30
me laugh, So I'm I'm keeping that. But I have to agree.
49:35
He's nearing sixty and he still has the insane Kenny g look, and it's
49:40
starting to be not a good look. Yeah. I've seen him all right,
49:46
Look when he got rid of the mustache, when he changed his look
49:52
up, you know, in the nineties, two thousands. Yeah, he
49:55
should have I don't know, gone something different, something that he's he's I
50:00
think he's appeared in his videos with like straight normal hair and he looks he
50:05
looks great, So like that, why not just do that? Lots of
50:08
upkeep, dude, Yeah, how to be a lot less upkeep. So
50:13
I'm going with Aaron on that one. Throwing weird ELL's air into the dumpster
50:16
fire. Nice. So point to each team. Let's move on to category
50:22
number three. We're back to the by boys as we get into something they
50:27
may not be terribly familiar with. It's four play. That one is that
50:32
where you're doing the hand thing? What's what about four play? Hands?
50:36
Do you want to throw into a dumpster fire? And I'm not going to
50:37
answer your questions because it's going to be funnier. What about four play?
50:44
Do you gentlemen want to it comes after three play? Yeah? You know,
50:51
double play is fine. Three players at much? Four players too much?
50:55
That's four times too much? Five players straight out? Oh god,
51:05
perfect fucking answer, dude, we're writing on that one. No, no,
51:09
no, Um, well I like to throw in. I love four
51:16
play. That's the worst part. Um. I hate about it. Um.
51:22
Sometimes I get two into four play. It gets too fucking hot.
51:27
Man. We gotta we need better climate control tur and four play so wait,
51:32
wait, hold on, you're complained about four play is that you don't
51:36
have enough AC Yes, I love four play man. I can be doing
51:40
that ship for like an hour, like, no joke, I love it
51:44
all. It's I'm very Uh. I feel like this is very easily resolved
51:47
by installing an air conditioner unit. Yeah. I don't think you have to
51:51
throw four play. Step has a very specific to be hot. But just
51:59
open up fucking window and it's fucking cold out all year long. Okay,
52:08
Bridget Narrant. I feel like this is a gimme, like you can easily
52:13
take this point. Um, which one of you would like to go first?
52:16
I'm prepared. Are you prepared? I'm prepared too, but you should
52:20
probably go first because mine's gonna suck. I would like to throw men who
52:28
put their tongue in your ear in the dumpster because if I wanted to fucking
52:32
let Willie, I'd play on the playground with some children. That's good.
52:43
You're not in the water sports either, are you. I mean, it's
52:47
not my king, but that's more forgivable trying to tongue fuck someone's heart.
52:59
Wow, Uh, that's rigid. Your last what do you got? Well?
53:04
Because I know you won't give me an answer as to whether something is
53:07
included as four play or not. I will then just say my what I
53:09
do know, I'll answer your question. I wasn't going to answer there because
53:14
it was funny or nothing. Yeah, so do we consider sixty nine four
53:17
play? Yeah? Yeah I would. Oh yeah, fucking sixty nine fucking
53:22
sucks. You can't enjoy it. You cannot As a woman, you cannot
53:25
fucking get off while you're while you're trying to suck some guy's cock and he's
53:30
trying to eat your pussy. You just fucking can't get off, and you
53:34
got you can't. It's horrible, and it's like like the fucking balls in
53:37
your fucking face and he's trying to eat you and you can't get comfortable.
53:42
It's fucking horrid. Or if you're the bottom of that position, you're gonna
53:46
die. Many ad crunches up, it's fucking play. And then like if
53:53
he's really fucking tall, right, like because like there was this one guy
53:57
who I was with who was like really fucking tall, and it's like there
54:00
was no way I could reach his dick without like get matching it up.
54:04
Like fucking impossible. It's fucking ridiculous. I don't know any fucking woman who
54:10
actually enjoys that stuff. I don't. And then like you know, listen,
54:14
I've eaten guy's asses out. I'm okay with doing that, but like
54:17
when there's something about it, like with the just the seeing the fucking ass
54:21
in my face while I'm no, no, no, no, fucking sixty
54:25
nine, that's fair, I can totally I I can understand that, Okay,
54:30
this might be a surprise and it might not. Um, I'm going
54:34
with bridgets. Yeah, I can't stand doing it, um because it's hard,
54:40
it is awkward, it's uncomfortable. You can't concentrate on two things at
54:46
the same time. No, Like, it's just impossible. So it's like
54:51
your never ending story. It just keeps going on. You either can't put
54:57
your full attention into what you're doing, which you want to do to make
55:00
your partner happy, but you also can't focus too much on your own pleasure,
55:04
so you wind up in this weird kind of constantly broken flow, like
55:10
where you're just kind of bouncing back and forth. Oh that feels good.
55:13
Oh no, idea puts more work in all, you know, Like it's
55:16
it's obnoxious. And also each of your assholes are in each other's faces,
55:20
which is especially if you're not washed. It's unpleasant. Um so, which
55:25
I've experienced, so no thanks, um so yeah, absolutely, uh,
55:31
Aaron, I I imagine that's awful. Uh and I would I would throw
55:37
it away as well, but I've never experienced it, nor have I ever
55:40
done it. So and sixty nine is just more personal to me, So
55:44
that's what I want with But points go to the bi Coastal Beaches. They're
55:46
up two to one. They just need one more and they will the BFY
55:52
t W boys. You got to claim both of these points. Um,
55:54
but we're swinging control back over to the Bi Coastal Beaches. They will go
55:59
first on this fourth category, which is brunch. What about brunch? Would
56:05
you throw into a dumpster fire? And Aaron or Bridget either one of you
56:09
can go first. Do you have a preference? You should go first because
56:15
I'm trying to win. So okay, let me think. Okay, eggs,
56:22
eggs need to go. They're fucking slimy, they smell, they're just
56:28
gross. I don't understand why anybody fucking likes them. Every time they come
56:32
near me, I want to fucking gag and vomit. I used to have.
56:37
I used to be a waitress and I would do the morning shift at
56:39
the diner on Sunday mornings, and like, the amount of fucking eggs I
56:44
almost puked over is like unbelievable. They's just like they're just like it.
56:49
And then like you know, they're like the babies, the babies. You're
56:52
eating fucking babies. Why would you want to eat a fucking baby? Are
56:55
you like, is there something wrong with you? No? No, no,
57:01
no bye, buy eggs, gohead. The only time eggs are good
57:08
is when they're at a fucking cake. I am. I do like eggs.
57:17
Um. I also like cake. In fact, now I want your
57:22
bakery to make me cake. But anyway, UM, I have to say
57:30
this is gonna controversial. I would like to throw people who bring their children
57:34
to brunch into the dumpster. Brunches like a casual time that it's okay for
57:42
adults to still day drink and catch up with friends. It is not for
57:46
your children to be running around bumping into me spilling my bottomless mimosa. Get
57:52
your kids a funk out of brunch. So those parents dumpster for okay,
57:58
great, good answers, good answers, h Stevin and Augue. Which of
58:02
you two would like to go first? I can go first. I think
58:07
there's too many breakfast items and brunch. Yes, I think there should be
58:10
more of a balance. Being as it is a mixture of breakfast and lunch,
58:15
there should be more of a balance between breakfast items and then lunch or
58:20
afternoon items. Kind of thing like you don't really get a hamburger at a
58:23
brunch. You know, you don't really get like a steak at a brunch.
58:29
You know, you get plenty of eggs, you get plenty of like
58:32
breakfast items like pancakes and waffles and sausages, But where's all the other stuff?
58:37
You're basically just eating breakfast. That's fair. That's fair point, dude,
58:43
good point. Stevie, your last up? What do you got?
58:46
Oh? God? The last two places I had brunch that had jukeboxes or
58:51
things where you get those apps where they played music, and it was so
58:53
annoying because some asshole kept playing the same music over and over. So any
58:58
place that has a brunch that has a fucking jukebox or allows your fucking catrons
59:00
to choose your music you can fuck right off? Was that asshole you?
59:05
Yes? I was gonna sat yeah for an hour straight. Yeah. My
59:14
mom and I hijacked the jukebox and California when I was getting ready to move.
59:21
We've played um shout. I can't think of the name of the band.
59:27
It's a super eighties band, super like annoying song, and played it
59:34
like twenty times straight. Is the more we drank, the more we're funny.
59:38
Play it again? You remember the song, but it sounded like I
59:45
can't remember. It's ah the people Hallo notes private private, private eyes are
59:55
watching you. They see you're fre Yeah, yes, yes, wow.
1:00:05
Sorry. I don't know if I could use that for the TikTok or not.
1:00:10
Okay, I can eliminate two right off the bat um cbe. I've
1:00:15
never I've never been at a brunch that had a juke Are you serious?
1:00:19
That's fucking obnoxious, Like, I've never I've never been at a brunch that
1:00:22
actually had one of those annoying sh Sorry, I'm gonna throw that right away.
1:00:29
Sorry. I love eggs. I guess I love eating babies, but
1:00:34
I'm a scrambled eggs kind of guy, and I really enjoy that with my
1:00:37
bunch that baby in a blender. It comes down to parents that bring their
1:00:42
kids or or too many breakfast items. And for me, the one that
1:00:49
I have to throw into the nomester fire is parents that bring their kids.
1:00:52
A thousand percent. Yes, nothing annoys me more than some child shrieking at
1:01:02
the next table over for whatever reason. Yeah, and me just ax like
1:01:07
about to lift food into my mouth and being startled and flinging it off into
1:01:12
the next stratosphere because a child just screamed behind me. Um, I know.
1:01:20
I mean, I'm not saying children should be removed from society. I'm
1:01:23
just saying my society. When I'm having brunch, I like to be able
1:01:30
to enjoy it, and that's one of the things that ruins it for me
1:01:31
is kids. So yeah, I get it, man, I mean,
1:01:35
oddly, it's weird, but it is the truth. Like one of the
1:01:37
answers that almost always wins on the dumpster fire is other people. Yeah,
1:01:44
like, because people ever experiences so much better without them in any event.
1:01:49
That means the Bicoastal Beaches have taken three points, and they have won this
1:01:52
game and the episode with a clean sweep six points to zero one or twins
1:02:01
have been shut out yet again. Come on, you can't be that disappointed.
1:02:05
It has happened before. Oh I'm not disappointed. I'm I'm this is
1:02:08
exactly what I expected. Good. That's good. That's good. It's good.
1:02:12
It's good. I guess I'm appointed when you're a famous author. Shortly,
1:02:19
can you get Kevin Smith to make our Hiday the thirteenth or whatever?
1:02:23
I was gonna call it freaky hidaya Hiday? That was our that was our
1:02:30
last episode. We didn't Yeah, created the incredible. I think you were
1:02:36
onto something. You were definitely onto something with that. I think it's a
1:02:38
it's it's it's it's a million dollar idea. Really, So hopefully he does.
1:02:44
But we'll find out if I get famous enough, I hear get more
1:02:50
famous. I doubt this book's gonna sell enough to make me back the money
1:02:52
I spent on it. Sore never know never Anyway, I would very much
1:03:00
like to thank our guests, Aaron and Bridget of the Bi Coastal Beaches.
1:03:04
I hope you've had as much fun as we've had having you on the show.
1:03:07
It's been an absolute blast, and you, of course are welcome back
1:03:14
anytime. Um and super excited to see you in person soon Bridget weeks away.
1:03:22
I think, oh my god. So that Uh and Aaron, of
1:03:29
course, always love hanging out with you and producing episodes of any especially the
1:03:34
most recent one starring the by Boys and something Special. We forgot to tell
1:03:39
them to come back, but oh you didn't. We knew one another.
1:03:44
You should come back show. Yeah you sure, Yeah, it wasn't a
1:03:47
total disappointment. I think we need to have Bridget on any though. I
1:03:52
think you'd be interesting to see what she could come up with. Yeah,
1:03:55
I'd be really interested to see what Bridget would share with us. But oh,
1:04:00
I know sex toys her interest right away. Just the whole draw.
1:04:09
We're gonna go through them all. We'll go by size. These are arranged
1:04:14
by size, these color, these ones by weight. Do you remember the
1:04:18
time we are doing a zoom and I started bringing out my sex toys to
1:04:21
explain them to some people. Yeah, see, these are back in the
1:04:28
days of COVID and we were all just on video together. Anyway, where
1:04:32
can people catch the bi Coastal Biach's podcast, Oh Me anywhere? Yes,
1:04:40
and you can find us anywhere where you listen to your podcasts. You follow
1:04:45
us on Twitter by coastal BotC one yep. That and then our email is
1:04:58
by coastal ba Is at gmail dot com. That uh spoiler alert. The
1:05:03
close to our show is pre recorded. It's can is also Bicoastal Biaches.
1:05:16
Very good. I'm Tao turtle. I'm pretty much all social media bridget is
1:05:23
bridget f a at all social media. Very cool, very cool. I
1:05:29
cannot recommend following, well, not following that would be stalking. I can't
1:05:35
catching up with the bi Coastal Biaches on social media enough. It is a
1:05:40
joy. Um. And of course their show is brilliant, which we've been
1:05:44
on a couple of times, which is delightful, so uh definitely check them
1:05:48
out. Um. As for us, you can catch us at b fy
1:05:51
twpod dot com. That is our website. We can find links to all
1:05:56
the cool things our friends are doing, like the bi Coastal Beaches. Uh.
1:06:00
And you can also leave us voicemail at the contact us section of our
1:06:02
website is a little widget leave us a ninety second voicemail. We might play
1:06:06
it on the show. You can allo send us emails at b fy t
1:06:10
W podcast at gmail dot com. Uh. You can send us tweets.
1:06:14
So we're at b fy t W podcast at on Twitter, it's at podcast
1:06:19
I should say. Um. You can also join our Patreon if you're interested
1:06:24
at patreon dot com slash b fy TW. There are two tiers two and
1:06:27
five dollars. Uh. Bridget from Long Island is on that list, along
1:06:32
our other patrons who I also have to thank, Mexican Raspberry Flayouts, Kristin
1:06:38
F. Aaron S. That's Aaron from all the Other Half. Both of
1:06:43
the Bi Coastalions are kind enough to be on our patron list. Uh,
1:06:45
Donna M, the gate Leapers, Tallymanta, Justin B, David M,
1:06:49
Jeremy F. And Jim Key. Thank you so much. It means the
1:06:54
world. And if you join our Patreon you'll also get a shout out be
1:06:58
added to this illustrious list of amazing humans. But that I think is going
1:07:02
to be it from us? Why? Because fuck you, That's why