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These Words Make Manipulators Lose Their Power Over You · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people Lee Hammock, your
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  favorite You can't have a favorite diagnosed self aware
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  narcissist with another episode today.
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  Today we're talking about words. Narcissist hate.
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  Hate to hear. When I say hate, I mean hate to
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  hear. I know a lot of times when
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  people when you're trying to argue with a narcissist or
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  whatever, or you're arguing with a narcissist, you want to win,
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  right? You want to win an argument with
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  a narcissist and you're yelling and screaming.
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  You're trying to get louder than they are.
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  You're throwing out worse insults than they are.
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  But guess what? To a narcissist, that is them
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  winning. When you are giving me a
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  reaction, I'm winning, right? I'm, I, I got the victory
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  because I'm in control of your emotions.
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  You're giving me emotional energy.
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  So I feel like that's a victory for me as a narcissist, right?
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  So your anger ends up being a fuel.
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  Your, your reaction ends up fueling the narcissist.
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  So if you're screaming at them, I win.
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  I don't took the victory. I got the trophy now because
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  you're screaming at me and now I'm afraid of you.
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  You're yelling at me. Look how you're talking to me.
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  Even though I started there right now I'm the victim.
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  That's how the narcissists do. They want to become the victim.
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  So now today I'm going to give, I'm going to give you out of
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  things to say and do to win an argument, to win an argument
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  with a narcissist. I say I used the word win
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  loosely because it's it's a victory for yourself, right?
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  So we're going, we're going to jump right into it.
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  The one of the worst things, it's like, it's like narcissist
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  kryptonite. One of the worst things that you
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  can say to a narcissist they, they, they, they absolutely do
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  not want to hear is 1 singular solitary word.
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  OK, now you could OK or OK, AY, it's the same look, the same
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  effect. OK, OK, no matter what they're
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  saying, OK, OK. Or something like you know, you
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  can say OK or I hear you, or that's your opinion like that
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  will that will crush the narcissist inside, right?
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  Why does this hurt now? OK, Lee, why does that hurt a
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  narcissist so much? I'm glad you asked, right?
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  We want engagement. We want a reaction because I'm
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  living. That's what I live for.
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  I need it. I read.
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  I need. I said I said I read it.
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  I need it. So if I'm gaslighting you, if
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  I'm yelling at you, if I'm manipulating you, or I'm blaming
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  you for something that I did, I'm waiting for you to defend
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  yourself. Give me something, give me some
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  energy. I want you to give me a damn
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  20-30 minute explanation of why I'm wrong, Why you ask?
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  Because that means you still care what I think.
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  You still care about me. It means I'm still the sensor of
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  your universe. And I love that for me, not for
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  you, for me. I love that for me.
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  So when you just say, OK, you're effectively in, in the argument,
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  you effectively saying your opinion has 0 value to me.
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  You are treating me like a stranger instead of the most
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  important person in your life. You're invalidating me when you
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  say OK, I hear you. That's amazing.
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  It's like great. It really is Gray, right?
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  Oh, using the word OK is Gray rocking right?
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  It it really is so you can say you just you saying that one
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  word can damn near cause a narcissistic injury because it
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  denies that narcissist what they need supply.
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  It denies them what they want supply.
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  You aren't fighting, you aren't crying, you aren't screaming,
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  you're not attacking me. You're just bored into a
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  narcissist being boring or irrelevant.
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  Eats us up, tears us to pieces. Now, now that I said that, I
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  have to say this behind it, be careful.
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  Use the user discretion. It's advised, right?
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  Use discretion because you never know what one of these sick
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  narcissistic bastards would do. Because you removing yourself or
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  moving that emotional reaction that they're looking for can
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  make them snap, right? When you're Gray Rocket, a
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  narcissist, or you're just not giving them any type of
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  emotional energy or reaction, some of them will snap.
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  Some of them will blow a blow their damn tops and attack you
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  physically, verbally, mentally. They'll kidnap you to threaten
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  to harm you. They'll do a lot of different
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  things to you, so be careful, OK?
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  OK, be careful when you say OK, because you don't know what this
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  narcissistic bastard is absolutely going to do what
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  they're what they're capable of because this is who they are
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  right inside and out. This is how their minds work.
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  So be careful when you using this OK method because you don't
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  know what they how they will react.
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  Of course, let's say use it to empower yourself, but also just
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  be safe, man. I always want people to be safe
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  as you possibly can when you're dealing with a toxic
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  narcissistic person. OK, the next thing you can do
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  y'all, the next thing the narcissists hate to hear is no.
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  Another one word answer no without an explanation.
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  You don't have to explain yourself.
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  You don't. No is a complete sentence.
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  That's it. No underline, no exclamation
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  point, no period. No, they hate to hear the word
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  no Narcissistic y'all know narcissist?
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  We're entitled. We're entitled people.
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  We feel entitled to everything including your time, your money,
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  your energy. So you when you you say the word
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  no, it destroys us. So usually when you say no, you
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  follow like when usually when you are a victim and you're
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  saying the word no to us, you typically feel the need to
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  explain yourself. You have some sentences or a
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  paragraph or a whole explanation right behind it, right?
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  You follow it up. No, You say something like
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  instead of saying just the word no, you'll say no.
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  I can't come over because I'm tired and I still I have to work
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  early in the morning. Just say no the second you say
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  because you give them a target. Now they can target everything
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  you said after the word No. Oh, so work is more important to
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  me. Oh, you can't.
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  You see you're tired. Everybody.
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  You gave everybody else all your energy.
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  You have nothing left for me. You know what I'm saying?
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  You give them a target to attack you with.
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  When you when you have to explain yourself.
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  They're listening after the word No, they don't hear no, they
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  hear everything you said after it so they can attack it and
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  make you feel guilty. So that's why you should just
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  say no. Yo, just say no, that doesn't
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  work for me. Or just no.
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  And then you go silent. You taking the power away from
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  them. They have no more control.
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  They have no more control. In that situation, you're not
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  leaving room for a debate. You're not leaving them anything
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  to attack. You're just saying no.
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  You're taking your power back. And again, I hate I have to say
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  this, but when you say no, you have to be careful because some
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  of these narcissistic people will attack you for saying the
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  word no. They will they the same thing as
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  you said, like the same result from saying the word OK can get
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  some of these toxic narcissistic people to attack you just like
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  saying the word OK. Saying the word no makes it
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  feels like feels like an internal attack.
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  It feels like a bomb is going off inside of a narcissist.
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  No narcissistic robot overheating.
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  I got away. I got away from the robot.
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  What is wrong with me man? I got away from my essence, the
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  essence of this channel, the essence, the robot, the
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  narcissist, the narcissistic Meeks.
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  I'm back, baby, I'm back. But yeah, man, say the word no,
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  use it. Put that in.
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  Put that in your wallet or your purse.
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  The word no, use it. Use it effectively and safely.
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  Of course, 'cause some of these masses will come after you,
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  right? You got to use it effectively
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  and stuff like that, y'all? It is just like, just use it
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  like that. And the next thing that you can
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  say, I'm going to say I'm not going to go home for every, I
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  know I like to keep this under 15 minutes.
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  I can ramble on forever. But the next thing you can say
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  to a narcissist, right, is the truth.
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  The not just the truth, there's truth without emotion, right?
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  The absolute worst thing you can do is state the objective truth
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  with no emotion behind it, no emotion attached to it.
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  Like if a narcissist is lying to you and you catch them lying,
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  don't scream. How could you lie to me?
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  That gives me the betrayal to play with.
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  I can just say, how could I lie to you?
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  Because you did this, because you did that.
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  Instead of saying how could you lie to me, say I know you're
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  lying. I'm not going to argue about it.
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  I'm not going to. I'm going for a walk now.
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  I'm going to separate. I'm going to distance myself
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  from you right now. Literally I know you're lying.
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  The objective truth. How could you lie to me?
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  You saw her crying. They going to attack you for
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  crying. I know you're lying to me.
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  We both know the truth. Walk away.
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  Disengage. Of course, be careful.
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  I'm going to say that early now be careful when you disengage
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  because they want to be engaged right.
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  So when you would like when you disengage, you're done.
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  You're not playing like you identified the behavior you
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  identified the problem and you refuse to participate in their
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  crazy narrative where they try to reconstruct and deconstruct
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  everything right here, right. You refuse to participate in
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  this drama and you physically remove yourself from their from
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  giving them supply because again, they want to argue.
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  Some narcissists want chaos. They want arguments because that
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  makes them feel empowered. So when you strip away the
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  emotion which they love, you are looking at us through a
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  different lens. And narcissists hate it when you
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  see them for who they really are.
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  You see the narcissist behind the curtain, the man behind the
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  curtain like the Wizard of Oz, instead of being a big floating
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  head, he's a just a small person, right?
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  Small person you see behind the mask and you know, narcissist
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  love to keep that mask. It's gone.
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  They love to know that the gas lighting is working.
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  They love to know that the manipulation is getting through.
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  They love to know this type of stuff because at the end of the
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  day, this benefits them in some way, shape or form.
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  So they're going to love to benefit themselves again.
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  The selfish nature of narcissist plays out.
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  It bubbles to the surface, it comes out, it goes where it
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  needs to go and they keep playing.
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  It will keep playing in your face.
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  This is what they do. They keep playing in your face
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  over and over and over again and they just messes with you.
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  So empower yourself. Use the word, say the word OK,
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  say the word no. This is state the truth and then
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  disengage from them. You are more powerful than you
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  think you are. You have the key.
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  They don't have the key. They're going to make you feel
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  like they have the key, but they don't have any power to do
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  anything except physically attack you or snap.
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  But This is why recording and documenting everything is so
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  important here, y'all? This is why recording, whatever
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  happens, we're documenting it. Whatever happens is so important
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  so you can defend yourself later on because you know some of
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  these bastards are going to lie. They don't lie, they going to
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  make stuff up, they going to just create the create something
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  out of nothing. Y'all know how I go right there
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  y'all? So anyway, y'all, they all make
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  it to the end. If you're in the New York City
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  area, New York City on June the 2nd, I have a live in person
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  Q&A. You can come meet me in person,
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  get around other people who are going through what you're going
• 11:31
  through and ask the questions that are on your mind.
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  It's not a workshop. It literally is a live in person
• 11:37
  Q and AI got a mic. Y'all got mics and we going to
• 11:40
  chat it up? Y'all illness.net/events or you
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  go to my website mentalillness.net scroll to the
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  bottom and I will see you in New York City on June the 2nd.
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  Y'all hit that subscribe button if you haven't.
• 11:50
  Helps reach more people and it's always y'all mental illness is
• 11:53
  out. Peace.