Latest / Movie Meltdown / A Silent Night Trip to Grandma's House (Promo)
Transcript
- 0:17Speaker 1: So now it's time to do the holiday movie threat.
- 0:20Speaker 2: Yay.
- 0:21Speaker 3: Yay.
- 0:22Speaker 1: I was trying to remember if I had anything specifically themed.
- 0:25Speaker 1: And then, I mean, look at that artwork for fuck's sakes.
- 0:30Speaker 2: Wow.
- 0:30Speaker 3: Let me see that again.
- 0:32Speaker 2: Fun.
- 0:33Speaker 3: That's a lot to take in there.
- 0:35Speaker 1: So I remember, oh yeah, I saw that last year
- 0:37Speaker 1: and was like, well, this is definitely what we need
- 0:38Speaker 1: for the holidays. That is Deathsember. And the plot according
- 0:46Speaker 1: to the back of this DVD. And I'm going to
- 0:50Speaker 1: skip a lot of names because you've heard me pronounce names.
- 0:53Speaker 1: And these get even more complicated.
- 0:55Speaker 3: So.
- 0:56Speaker 1: Feed yourself 24 macabre morsels of holiday horror as you
- 1:00Speaker 1: watch your way through this cinematic advent calendar from hell.
- 1:05Speaker 3: Oh. I'm intrigued.
- 1:06Speaker 1: From Christmas shopping carnage to deathbed carolers to the dreaded
- 1:11Speaker 1: holiday with the in-laws, get ready for a month's worth
- 1:14Speaker 1: of creative thrills and chills from an international array of
- 1:18Speaker 1: horror directors.
- 1:19Speaker 3: Oh. Ooh, an array.
- 1:21Speaker 1: That's awesome. It's a perfect concept for the Christmas horror
- 1:25Speaker 1: anthology designed by these dudes from Germany. That's why I'm
- 1:29Speaker 1: really not going to pronounce their names because it's crazy
- 1:32Speaker 1: German names. So yeah, it's like a whole collection of
- 1:36Speaker 1: films based around the holidays.
- 1:39Speaker 2: 24 is so many.
- 1:41Speaker 3: That's a lot.
- 1:43Speaker 1: That's the ABCs of death level of cranking out short films.
- 1:48Speaker 2: How long is each one? Like five minutes?
- 1:50Speaker 3: Seven hours.
- 1:51Speaker 1: It's a really long sip.
- 1:53Speaker 3: Well, it is German, so each one could be feature length.
- 1:56Speaker 1: You will pay. You will all suffer these holidays.
- 2:00Speaker 3: I don't think that's German.
- 2:03Speaker 1: No, that's the meaning behind all things German. Now, obviously,
- 2:08Speaker 1: that was not.
- 2:09Speaker 3: An accent that I'm concerned with.
- 2:12Speaker 1: That was just me cursing people like I do every day.
- 2:17Speaker 3: Death Simber.
- 2:19Speaker 2: When did that come out?
- 2:20Speaker 1: 2019, I believe.
- 2:23Speaker 3: Okay.
- 2:24Speaker 1: Yes, 2019, December.
- 2:27Speaker 3: 24 doors to hell.
- 2:29Speaker 1: So, if you guys have a better option, we can
- 2:32Speaker 1: watch that. But if not, we can pencil that in
- 2:37Speaker 1: in six or eight years when we finish our current
- 2:39Speaker 1: December series.
- 2:40Speaker 3: Oh, man, the way things are going, they're just going
- 2:42Speaker 3: to keep coming up with more every time we think
- 2:45Speaker 3: we're near the end.
- 2:45Speaker 1: We're never going to escape.
- 2:47Speaker 3: I mean, they're already working on another.
- 2:49Speaker 1: as I posted in the little horror club Facebook thing
- 2:53Speaker 1: I was like hey look they're doing another one yay
- 2:58Speaker 1: yeah so we're never gonna escape this wonderful silent deadly
- 3:04Speaker 1: series something like that.
- 3:08Speaker 3: We are gonna get a break from our good pal
- 3:10Speaker 3: Ricky though for the next two I think so thank god.
- 3:14Speaker 2: I was like why are we still going with this character.
- 3:18Speaker 1: We're in the wrong mode now. But in the meantime,
- 3:26Speaker 1: you can hear us say crazy and ridiculous holiday-themed things
- 3:30Speaker 1: like this.
- 3:32Speaker 3: We've overlooked something, which is Drunk Santa. Yeah. Because I
- 3:37Speaker 3: feel like had Drunk Santa just been doing his job
- 3:39Speaker 3: and not been hanging out with a comatose Ricky, none
- 3:43Speaker 3: of this.
- 3:43Speaker 2: Would have happened.
- 3:44Speaker 1: But that's this movie. Every movie in this series. Every
- 3:49Speaker 1: movie set around a Christmas. As I got to this,
- 3:52Speaker 1: I was like, why is there always a drunk Santa?
- 3:55Speaker 1: Have they ever made a not drunk Santa?
- 3:56Speaker 3: I don't know.
- 3:57Speaker 1: I haven't watched Miracle on 34th Street in a while,
- 4:00Speaker 1: but is that old man just drunk?
- 4:02Speaker 3: Maybe so.
- 4:02Speaker 2: I don't know.
- 4:03Speaker 1: But certainly every time you cross over into the grimier
- 4:08Speaker 1: end of a story, I don't think you can get
- 4:10Speaker 1: any grimier than your trading places. Dan Aykroyd as Santa
- 4:14Speaker 1: is the most disgusting thing you'll ever see.
- 4:16Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 4:17Speaker 3: But drunk off his ass. He had a bad night.
- 4:19Speaker 1: He had a reason to be drunk, I suppose. But
- 4:23Speaker 1: no excuse to be that gross.
- 4:25Speaker 3: I really hope that guy is listening and crafting a
- 4:30Speaker 3: strongly worded letter about what he needed at six in
- 4:34Speaker 3: the morning from the Billy Bass.
- 4:36Speaker 1: I mean, I would read it. I don't know that
- 4:39Speaker 1: I would accept it as a good answer. Computer becomes
- 4:45Speaker 1: sort of self-aware decides it wants to capture this woman
- 4:49Speaker 1: and then decides it wants to live on by procreating.
- 4:55Speaker 2: How would it know that who told the robot about that.
- 4:58Speaker 4: First of all i was like who's funding this experiment
- 5:04Speaker 4: yeah because it doesn't like well with all of this
- 5:07Speaker 4: because i'm also watching him in the other room and
- 5:09Speaker 4: i'm like he's just hooked up to machines 24 7
- 5:12Speaker 4: and somewhere that's a bill like yeah stay.
- 5:16Speaker 1: In a hospital overnight and you're ruined for the rest
- 5:18Speaker 1: of your life so i'm like let alone 24 7
- 5:21Speaker 1: care who's for years yeah who's paying this bill like
- 5:24Speaker 1: where is this just going to the government like who
- 5:27Speaker 1: pays for this shit he has no family they're all
- 5:29Speaker 1: dead now like yeah who's paying for him to be
- 5:32Speaker 1: alive at this point.
- 5:33Speaker 2: Not to mention putting that thing over his brain.
- 5:36Speaker 1: That was my favorite part the brain dome i was
- 5:39Speaker 1: pretty excited about the brain.
- 5:40Speaker 3: Dome So he goes to the trouble of killing a guy,
- 5:46Speaker 3: taking his clothes off, putting his clothes onto the dead guy,
- 5:51Speaker 3: but yet he's still shuffling around the whole movie in slippers. Well,
- 5:57Speaker 3: that is kind of sexy if I didn't know what
- 5:59Speaker 3: you had just told me.
- 6:01Speaker 1: It's very strange.
- 6:04Speaker 3: Well, that one shot shook me up so bad. Yeah.
- 6:08Speaker 3: That's every Lynch movie. I'm like, I don't want to
- 6:10Speaker 3: watch the rest. I did watch it, but I was like,
- 6:13Speaker 3: I hate the person who brought this over to my house.
- 6:15Speaker 1: Yeah, that's every Lynch movie. There's a moment of like,
- 6:17Speaker 1: oh God, why is that there? And then later you're like,
- 6:21Speaker 1: no reason? Because he decided to put it there? Plot-wise,
- 6:25Speaker 1: no reason, but thank you, David, for sharing. Thank you
- 6:29Speaker 1: for sharing. Yeah, it's interesting how much of just pop
- 6:33Speaker 1: culture it affected without even trying.
- 6:35Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 6:36Speaker 1: Telling its story and yeah. It's just so damn good.
- 6:40Speaker 2: It was great. So highly recommend. At one point she
- 6:45Speaker 2: woke up freaking out and he was like there there
- 6:47Speaker 2: and like kissed her on the head. I'm like I don't.
- 6:50Speaker 2: You shouldn't do that.
- 6:51Speaker 3: He actually said the words she's going to come back
- 6:54Speaker 3: and let me go deeper.
- 6:55Speaker 1: Yeah that part definitely. Like when they were in the
- 6:58Speaker 1: session not as much. He just seemed like a bad doctor.
- 7:01Speaker 1: But when we got to that part when she walked
- 7:02Speaker 1: off I was.
- 7:03Speaker 3: Like ooh all of that.
- 7:04Speaker 1: That whole sentence and a half there is like creepy.
- 7:08Speaker 2: Jail. She's into it.
- 7:10Speaker 3: She likes it. Yeah. She's going to let me go deeper.
- 7:12Speaker 2: I was like, wait, wait, wait.
- 7:13Speaker 3: What are we talking about? None of that. That's not
- 7:16Speaker 3: you paraphrasing.
- 7:16Speaker 1: No.
- 7:17Speaker 3: It was pretty much what he said.
- 7:19Speaker 2: He used the verb of like penetrate. It's like she
- 7:23Speaker 2: needs to let me penetrate deeper. I was like, shut up.
- 7:26Speaker 1: Like all dream talk, you know.
- 7:27Speaker 2: Get rid of his license. Who is this guy?
- 7:32Speaker 1: As I got to the end, I was like, this
- 7:33Speaker 1: is the kind of weird insanity that could only come
- 7:36Speaker 1: from the 1970s. Even that was wasted.
- 7:40Speaker 3: That was the high point, really.
- 7:42Speaker 1: It was like the brain dome looked pretty cool. It
- 7:45Speaker 1: was cumbersome and had a big beeping light going on
- 7:48Speaker 1: and the extra accessories in the back. It wasn't even
- 7:51Speaker 1: like a smooth dome. It was just A lot of
- 7:54Speaker 1: clunky pieces in the back there.
- 7:56Speaker 3: And it had liquid in it.
- 7:57Speaker 2: A lot of liquid too.
- 7:59Speaker 3: I feel like either, but not enough. Either not enough
- 8:03Speaker 3: completely or dry-ish.
- 8:05Speaker 1: Just kind of moist. You got to keep your brain moist,
- 8:07Speaker 1: you know.
- 8:08Speaker 2: Sloshing around.
- 8:09Speaker 1: Yeah, it was just kind of halfway there, which I
- 8:12Speaker 1: don't get.
- 8:12Speaker 2: So we, I made dinner and we watched that on
- 8:16Speaker 2: the big comfy couch. man it is a beautiful.
- 8:21Speaker 3: Movie it's a gorgeous movie and there's a lot going
- 8:25Speaker 3: on there the plot is yeah something like.
- 8:29Speaker 1: We went so long and all we had were those
- 8:31Speaker 1: original ones so it's weird that now it's a franchise
- 8:34Speaker 1: that it waited this long and now they're just gonna
- 8:37Speaker 1: keep hammering away.
- 8:38Speaker 3: At it i mean there's there's a couple of good
- 8:40Speaker 3: moments like when yeah this this was a Okay, based
- 8:45Speaker 3: on what I just said, it was an okay concept,
- 8:47Speaker 3: but also a dumb movie.
- 8:50Speaker 1: We live in a horrible future hellscape, is what I'm saying.
- 8:54Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:54Speaker 3: I mean, I always suspected.
- 8:56Speaker 2: I feel like forced pregnancy by robots is something that
- 9:00Speaker 2: could be coming up soon.
- 9:02Speaker 3: Yeah, pretty much.
- 9:03Speaker 2: Even chat GPT and whatnot.
- 9:06Speaker 3: 20 years ago, all of those words put together would
- 9:09Speaker 3: have frightened me, but now I'm like, yeah. Yeah.
- 9:13Speaker 1: Why do they keep making dumb movies?
- 9:15Speaker 2: There's so many good original ideas for different movies.
- 9:19Speaker 1: We come up with 10 every episode.
- 9:21Speaker 2: I don't even.
- 9:22Speaker 3: At this point, it doesn't even have to be original.
- 9:24Speaker 3: Just don't be dumb with it.
- 9:27Speaker 1: You know?
- 9:28Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 9:31Speaker 3: Kind of, but... I mean, not really. Like, again, in concept, yes.
- 9:36Speaker 1: But in practice... Not really.
- 9:39Speaker 3: No, because I enjoyed that movie.
- 9:40Speaker 1: To jump ahead, big picture, I'm like, they didn't use
- 9:43Speaker 1: that almost at all. That was the setup, I guess,
- 9:47Speaker 1: to get.
- 9:47Speaker 2: The ball rolling.
- 9:48Speaker 1: But after that, they sort of brushed that aside and
- 9:52Speaker 1: were like, oh yeah, remember when we were talking about
- 9:53Speaker 1: that earlier? Anyway.
- 9:55Speaker 3: As the movie progressed, she turns out to be not
- 9:58Speaker 3: a very good psychic.
- 10:00Speaker 1: Not really.
- 10:00Speaker 2: And also just kind of a bitch.
- 10:02Speaker 3: Kind of a bitch, which I can get on board
- 10:04Speaker 3: with that. I mean, she is blind for Christ's sake.
- 10:09Speaker 3: But also we later learn that she gets her gift
- 10:11Speaker 3: from her grandmother who is a really bad psychic. Or
- 10:14Speaker 3: I should say spotty psychic.
- 10:16Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 10:16Speaker 1: Yeah. I mean, she knows when the phone's going to ring,
- 10:18Speaker 1: but not that she's about to get murdered.
- 10:20Speaker 3: Nor does she know who's going to be on the phone.
- 10:22Speaker 1: It does seem like, I mean, caller ID is more
- 10:25Speaker 1: psychic than you, Grandma, so.
- 10:28Speaker 3: I don't know why I did this to myself again.
- 10:31Speaker 3: Every time one of these pops up, I'm like, I'm
- 10:35Speaker 3: not going to watch it. And then I watch it,
- 10:37Speaker 3: and I'm like, God damn it. But I watched it.
- 10:41Speaker 1: I saw it pop up, and that's sad that I
- 10:43Speaker 1: saw it pop up on a service I already had.
- 10:46Speaker 3: It wouldn't cost me money.
- 10:48Speaker 1: It would just cost me an hour and a half,
- 10:50Speaker 1: and I still.
- 10:50Speaker 3: I'm not saying I'm not going to.
- 10:52Speaker 1: I just haven't had any reason to push the button yet.
- 10:56Speaker 3: I had the same thing, and it's a long hour
- 11:00Speaker 3: and a half. It might be more than that. I
- 11:02Speaker 3: don't really know. Well, whatever it is. That could be
- 11:05Speaker 3: part of the.
- 11:05Speaker 1: Problem, is it may be longer than it needs to be.
- 11:09Speaker 1: I like when we get so far into these series
- 11:11Speaker 1: that they just, like, you're starting with whole new people
- 11:14Speaker 1: and whole new things. I'm like, is this even the
- 11:17Speaker 1: same series anymore? When you don't know who you're talking
- 11:19Speaker 1: about or talking to or watching anymore. Don't just make
- 11:25Speaker 1: like a weird scar up there.
- 11:27Speaker 3: And they only attempt to hide it one time, which
- 11:30Speaker 3: was so ridiculous.
- 11:34Speaker 1: Oh, that toboggan really covered it right up.
- 11:37Speaker 3: He keeps running into strangers who are like... Who don't
- 11:40Speaker 3: have a problem. They don't have a problem with it.
- 11:44Speaker 3: I mean, I'll be the first to admit that I'm
- 11:46Speaker 3: super immature, so if I see any sort of physical deformity... Dude! Yeah, exactly.
- 11:51Speaker 3: But if I see a guy with a brain dome....
- 11:55Speaker 1: This little scrappy up-and-coming filmmaker was writing this movie called
- 11:59Speaker 1: Reservoir Dogs.
- 12:01Speaker 2: Stereotypical. Psychic.
- 12:05Speaker 1: Psychic grandma. You know how those are.
- 12:06Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 12:07Speaker 2: Everybody's got one.
- 12:08Speaker 3: I have an aunt who's psychic, but we don't talk
- 12:14Speaker 3: about her. Not because of that reasoning. Wow, it lists
- 12:20Speaker 3: off like seven directors. Jack Nicholson, Roger Corman, Monty Hellman,
- 12:25Speaker 3: Jack Hill, Francis Ford Coppola, Dennis Jacob.
- 12:28Speaker 2: Whoa.
- 12:29Speaker 3: Some of these are real directors. Yeah.
- 12:32Speaker 1: Then at one point we get an advertisement for car phones.
- 12:38Speaker 1: He's really pushing that car phone, man.
- 12:40Speaker 2: That car phone.
- 12:41Speaker 3: This movie was really ahead of its time. Yeah.
- 12:44Speaker 1: He was cutting edge technology there and he wanted to share...
- 12:48Speaker 1: So he could get his little bonus.
- 12:50Speaker 3: Well, the fact that he gets $ 100 off his bill
- 12:52Speaker 3: for every person he signs up.
- 12:54Speaker 1: That means your bill is really high.
- 12:57Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 12:59Speaker 1: But my favorite part was then later when he had
- 13:01Speaker 1: to use it, it wasn't really, like he had to
- 13:04Speaker 1: hit it three times, which I'm like, I'm assuming you're
- 13:07Speaker 1: not actually.
- 13:08Speaker 3: Making a call.
- 13:08Speaker 1: This is a movie. So you could have pretended that
- 13:11Speaker 1: it worked the first time, but he.
- 13:13Speaker 2: Hit it three times trying to make that call out.
- 13:16Speaker 3: That's some Willem Dafoe method acting level bullshit.
- 13:18Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, that is dedicated to this, man,
- 13:20Speaker 1: these are hard to make work. In the moment, this
- 13:23Speaker 1: is how it would have really been, trying to make
- 13:25Speaker 1: a call on my car phone that barely functions because
- 13:27Speaker 1: it's 1989.
- 13:30Speaker 2: I remember there's a hand through a door at one
- 13:32Speaker 2: point and everybody seems way less concerned about it than
- 13:35Speaker 2: they should be. They're just kind of like, oh, that
- 13:38Speaker 2: was weird.
- 13:40Speaker 1: He also just kind of hung out with Jack Nicholson
- 13:42Speaker 1: back in the day. Like after they did the tear,
- 13:45Speaker 1: they became like not only friends, but like writing partners.
- 13:48Speaker 2: And he wrote movies with him for years.
- 13:50Speaker 1: And like they made movies together in the early days
- 13:53Speaker 1: before Nicholson was like the biggest thing in the world.
- 13:56Speaker 1: He was just hanging out writing movies with Nicholson.
- 13:59Speaker 2: Yeah, that would make, I mean, obviously he was in
- 14:01Speaker 2: a coma for a long time. But if for some
- 14:03Speaker 2: reason he wasn't, that would make your daily existence really complicated.
- 14:06Speaker 2: If every time you saw the color red, you started
- 14:09Speaker 2: murdering people. Because that's a color.
- 14:11Speaker 1: This is why bulls can't even shop in China shops.
- 14:14Speaker 1: Next thing you know.
- 14:15Speaker 3: You can't even drive down the street.
- 14:17Speaker 2: Yeah, no.
- 14:20Speaker 1: Rain domes look cool.
- 14:21Speaker 3: I guess they need the domes so they can make
- 14:23Speaker 3: sure that it's wet. I don't know.
- 14:25Speaker 1: Look, I need to be able to see your brain
- 14:27Speaker 1: to see if you're okay. This is how all doctors work, right?
- 14:31Speaker 1: When I had that heart operation, they put in that window.
- 14:34Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 14:35Speaker 1: And now they can look in.
- 14:35Speaker 3: And be like, oh, yeah, still beating.
- 14:37Speaker 1: Cool. Like, so.
- 14:38Speaker 2: What kind of hospital is this? Psychic experiments, brain domes.
- 14:44Speaker 1: Any science that edges its way towards Ninja Turtles? Because
- 14:47Speaker 1: I was thinking, like, he's almost at Krang level. Like,
- 14:50Speaker 1: if you put a little creature in him and, yeah,
- 14:53Speaker 1: I mean, I.
- 14:53Speaker 3: If you put his brain in his stomach for some reason,
- 14:56Speaker 3: it makes no sense.
- 14:57Speaker 1: It felt kind of like that world.
- 14:58Speaker 3: I'm like, all right, I approve.
- 15:00Speaker 1: I approve of the brain dome. Well, Marlon Brando always
- 15:04Speaker 1: said I would never be a good director because I
- 15:06Speaker 1: was too nice to people. Like, I was too nice.
- 15:08Speaker 1: I was like, you have a Marlon Brando set about you.
- 15:11Speaker 1: So yeah, you're in it, man.
- 15:14Speaker 3: Like you are in the industry. I don't have one
- 15:17Speaker 3: of those.
- 15:18Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 15:18Speaker 3: You hung out with Jack Nicholson.
- 15:19Speaker 1: Yeah. You're making movies with Marlon Brando.
- 15:21Speaker 3: Like, You're the real deal, man.
- 15:23Speaker 1: So how you got into this movie was against your will.
- 15:30Speaker 1: So go to MovieMeltdown.com and join the Meltdown Horror Club
- 15:33Speaker 1: and give us a better movie to watch than whatever
- 15:36Speaker 1: holiday nonsense comes up next year.
- 15:40Speaker 3: Yikes.
- 15:41Speaker 2: Then 24 three-minute long movies.
- 15:45Speaker 1: It's gonna be great and you know it.
- 15:47Speaker 3: I'm intrigued. I mean, I'm not gonna lie. Because some
- 15:49Speaker 3: of those, like, Some of ABC's of Death was quite good.
- 15:54Speaker 3: And then some of them were like, I hate myself.
- 15:55Speaker 1: And then I'm like, no, thank you.
- 15:57Speaker 2: I mean, if you're doing over 20, odds are at
- 15:59Speaker 2: least one has to be good.
- 16:01Speaker 3: You'd think so.
- 16:03Speaker 1: And they brought in some decent people. I did look
- 16:05Speaker 1: at the list and short of me actually reading names,
- 16:08Speaker 1: but there were a few that were crossover into American names.
- 16:11Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, I know them and they make
- 16:13Speaker 1: cool stuff.
- 16:13Speaker 2: Okay.
- 16:14Speaker 3: It's worthwhile.
- 16:15Speaker 1: And maybe, maybe in six or eight years when we
- 16:18Speaker 1: get done with this one, can put this on the list.
- 16:22Speaker 1: Unless we just call an audible and get the hell
- 16:24Speaker 1: out of it. Which I also may offer us later today.
- 16:29Speaker 3: Anyway.