Latest / New Manager Conversations with Fexingo: First 90 Days, Managing Former Peers, and Leadership Basics / How New Managers Can Manage Up Without Selling Out
Transcript
- Lucas: So there's this phrase that gets thrown at new managers pretty early — 'you need to learn to manage up.' And I've always thought it's one of the most loaded, least explained pieces of advice in the corporate playbook. Luna: Right, because for a lot of people, 'managing up' sounds like politicking. Or kissing up. Or just figuring out what your boss wants to hear and saying it. Lucas: Exactly. And I think that's a shame, because when it's done well, managing up is actually a really practical skill — and it's especially critical in your first few months as a new manager. You have to establish credibility with your boss, but you also have to advocate for your team. Luna: So what does it look like in practice? Can you give me a concrete example? Lucas: Yeah, let me tell you about a friend of mine — let's call her Priya. She became an engineering manager at a mid-size SaaS company about a year ago. First-time manager. Her team was responsible for a core piece of the platform that had accumulated a lot of technical debt. Lucas: Within her first month, she realized they needed to dedicate a full quarter to refactoring — no new features, just paying down that debt. But her CTO, who she reported to, was very feature-driven. He wanted to see shipping velocity. So she had to figure out how to get him on board without sounding like she was making excuses. Luna: And I'm guessing just walking in and saying 'we need to stop shipping for three months' wouldn't have gone over well. Lucas: It would have been a career-limiting move. So instead, she did something smarter. She started by understanding his constraints. She scheduled a one-on-one where she asked about his goals for the year, what his boss was pushing him on, and what kept him up at night. Lucas: Turns out, the CTO was under pressure from the CEO to improve platform reliability because they'd had two high-severity outages in the previous quarter. That was his pain point. Priya's refactor wasn't just about code quality — it was about preventing future outages. Luna: So she reframed it. Instead of 'we need to refactor,' it became 'here's how we reduce outage risk.' Lucas: Exactly. She presented a plan that tied the refactor directly to reliability metrics. She also proposed a phased approach — not a full freeze, but dedicating 40 percent of the team's capacity to refactoring for two quarters, while still delivering some smaller features. That gave the CTO something he could sell upward. Lucas: And she didn't stop there. She built a track record of small wins first. In her first two weeks, she fixed a minor but annoying bug that had been open for months. She also improved the on-call documentation. Little things that showed she was proactive and technically grounded. Luna: So the big ask came after she'd already proven she could deliver. That's smart sequencing. Lucas: Exactly. And the CTO said yes. Not because she was persuasive in a vacuum, but because she had done the work to understand his world, and she had earned enough trust that when she made a recommendation, he took it seriously. Luna: I think a lot of new managers hear 'manage up' and assume it means being deferential or always saying yes. But Priya's story shows it's actually about understanding your boss's incentives and aligning your ask with their priorities. Lucas: Right. It's not manipulation. It's translation. You're translating your team's needs into the language your boss speaks — which is usually about outcomes, metrics, and business impact. Luna: You know, this reminds me of something we talked about a few episodes back — how new managers often feel like they have to choose between advocating for their team and being loyal to their boss. And managing up is really about demonstrating that those aren't in conflict. Lucas: If today's conversation felt useful — maybe it helped you think about a specific relationship you're navigating — honestly, that's the whole point of what we do here. And if it was worth a coffee to you, you can find us at buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. No pressure, genuinely. We just keep the show ad-free that way. Luna: Yeah, I love that we can do that. It keeps the conversation honest. And it means we don't have to wedge in a spot for a mattress ad. Lucas: Exactly. So back to managing up — I think there's another layer here that new managers don't always think about. Managing up isn't just about getting a yes on a big ask. It's also about managing the ongoing flow of information. Luna: You mean like keeping your boss in the loop without overwhelming them? Lucas: Yeah. One of the most common complaints I hear from senior leaders is that new managers either over-communicate — sending long emails with every detail — or under-communicate, going dark until something goes wrong. The sweet spot is figuring out what your boss actually needs to know and when. Lucas: There's a framework for this. It's called the 'three buckets' approach. Bucket one: things that are on track and don't need attention. Bucket two: things that are off track but you have a plan to fix. Bucket three: things that are off track and you need your boss's help. Luna: So you're proactively sorting information for them. That respects their time. Lucas: Exactly. And it builds a reputation for being organized and strategic. When you present bucket one items, you're reinforcing trust. Bucket two shows you can solve problems. Bucket three shows you know when to escalate. Luna: I want to push back on something though. There's a risk that managing up becomes about managing perceptions rather than doing good work. How do you avoid that trap? Lucas: That's a really fair point. I think the antidote is to anchor everything in actual results. Managing up is a communication skill, not a substitute for substance. If you're spending more time crafting the narrative than doing the work, it will catch up with you. Lucas: But I'd also argue that doing good work and making sure it's visible aren't mutually exclusive. There's a difference between spin and stewardship. Stewardship means you're taking care of your team's reputation and making sure their contributions get recognized. Luna: That's a nice reframe. It's not about you — it's about the team. You're managing up so your boss sees the value your team creates. Lucas: Right. And that's especially important for new managers, because you're still building your own credibility. Every time your boss sees your team deliver, it reflects well on you. But they can only see it if you make it visible. Luna: So what's the one thing you'd tell a new manager to do in their first week to set themselves up for good managing-up habits? Lucas: Ask one question in your first one-on-one: 'What does success look like for you in the next 90 days, and how can I help you get there?' It's simple, but it does three things. It signals that you're focused on their priorities. It gives you concrete information about what they value. And it opens the door for you to ask for what you need later. Luna: Because you've already shown you're thinking about their success. Lucas: Exactly. And that's the foundation of managing up — it's a relationship built on mutual success. Not politics, not flattery. Just good, clear communication. Luna: Alright, I'm going to try that question in my next one-on-one. Even though I'm not a new manager, I think it still works. Lucas: It does. The core skill doesn't change — you're always trying to align your work with your boss's priorities. The labels just change.