Latest / Couples’ Journey Podcast Channel / Being Angry the Right Way — Part 5: Turning Anger into Growth
Transcript
- 0:00Ever wondered how to truly manage anger in a way that builds up rather than breaks down?
- 0:05Welcome to the final part of our podcast weekly series, Being Angry the Right Way.
- 0:11Today, Rey and Annie reflect on their journey of applying biblical principles,
- 0:16practical steps from the emotionally healthy marriage, and God's grace to master
- 0:21anger, one step at a time.
- 0:23Stay with us. This could transform your approach to emotional health in relationships.
- 0:28Here's the final part of this week's series.
- 0:31This week, as we discussed our topic, we also took a moment to reflect on how
- 0:36we've been managing anger lately.
- 0:38This kind of accountability check is often a tense conversation between us.
- 0:42Over time, we've learned to laugh about it while showing that we value each other's concerns.
- 0:48Through many conversations, we've discovered the importance of intentionally
- 0:52anchoring our anger to God.
- 0:54It's not always easy, particularly when the cause challenged our passion into
- 0:58something. It's all by His grace.
- 1:00How we wish we could take credit for it. But it's God's conviction that empowers
- 1:04us to be intentional about not letting anger affect our marriage.
- 1:08One day, circumstances pushed us both to our limits. And we were surprised by
- 1:13the heavy burden we felt.
- 1:15In that moment, we knew we needed time with God and help from fellow believers.
- 1:19Thank god we came across the book the emotionally healthy marriage We appreciated
- 1:25the shared guidance offered by dr.
- 1:27David stoop and dr. Jan stoop on managing anger Which they shared from their
- 1:31book while we already practice some of these principles We can see areas where
- 1:36we still need growth According to the stoops a six-step plan can help us slow
- 1:41down and learn how to manage the explosive emotion of anger One take five.
- 1:46It's that familiar phrase. I need a minute it.
- 1:49Give me a minute. For us, we've changed it to, I need some time to pray.
- 1:54It's just a brief pause, but it's a clear way to communicate that we're hurt
- 1:58and need quality time with God.
- 2:00While this practice is incredibly helpful, the stoops caution us against falling
- 2:05into a pattern of just calling a timeout without addressing the underlying issues. 2.
- 2:11Discharge the energy of anger. One practical step is to memorize and recite
- 2:15Ephesians 4 verses 31-32.
- 2:18During moments of vulnerability, Satan is very active in influencing our minds and hearts.
- 2:25Remember when the tempter tried to tempt Jesus?
- 2:27Jesus could have responded with his divine authority.
- 2:31But instead, he responded with Scripture. It is written, And the tempter came
- 2:36and said to him, If you are the Son of God, command that these stones become bread.
- 2:41But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live on bread alone,
- 2:46but on every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God.
- 2:50From Matthew 4 verses 3-4.
- 2:53When we're facing temptations, especially when anger is flaring,
- 2:57God's word can help us stay grounded.
- 2:59Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from
- 3:04you, along with all malice.
- 3:06Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other.
- 3:10Just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
- 3:13Ephesians 4 verses 31-32. 3.
- 3:17Listen to your anger. At first, we were confused about what that truly meant.
- 3:22But with questions like, what's at stake here for me? What do I feel is being threatened?
- 3:27We began to understand how to listen to our anger.
- 3:30The Stoops explained that anger is often related to a demand we cannot enforce.
- 3:35So, identifying the demand we're making, yet cannot fulfill, is an important step. 4.
- 3:41Consider yourself part of the problem. This isn't about narcissism,
- 3:45but about acknowledging our weaknesses and how they may contribute to the situation.
- 3:50The stoops suggest asking ourselves, is it what am I doing or saying that adds to the tension?
- 3:56Or what am I thinking or telling myself that fuels my anger?
- 4:005. Ask for a do-over. As the stoops recommend, when the break has ended and
- 4:05nothing has changed, ask for a do-over.
- 4:08This means negating what just happened and starting your conversation anew.
- 4:12The ultimate goal of this process isn't to repress or suppress anger, but to understand it.
- 4:18Often, the reasons for our anger aren't even connected to what's happening at the moment.
- 4:23Implementing the six-step plan can help us uncover that. Not many are quick
- 4:28to adapt or open to navigating their emotions.
- 4:31It requires softening our hearts and opening our minds to responsibly manage what we feel.
- 4:36God is the one who prompts us to seek understanding.
- 4:40And as we face challenges, whether in marriage or other relationships,
- 4:44the willingness to sit down and continue the conversation is essential.
- 4:49Otherwise, we risk destroying the relationship and missing the opportunity for growth and maturity.
- 4:55By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established.
- 4:59Proverbs 24 verse 3. We pray that this week's series has been helpful to you
- 5:04as much as it has been for us.
- 5:06It's always a blessing to be reminded of these matters and to remember that
- 5:10God's transformation is a lifelong process.
- 5:22By following this channel, leaving comments, and sharing episodes with your family and friends.
- 5:28You're helping us in our mission to transform marriages today.
- 5:32Your support encourages more couples to seek God's guidance and grow stronger together.
- 5:37Thank you for being part of this journey, together, we can make a difference.
- 5:42Here's the final part of today's episode.
- 5:47We pray this series has been an encouragement and a blessing in your walk with
- 5:51Christ and in your marriage.
- 5:53Remember, managing anger is a lifelong journey rooted in God's love and grace.
- 5:59Next week, we'll begin a new series designed to deepen your understanding of
- 6:03God's design for marriage. So don't miss it.
- 6:06Until then, stay anchored in Jesus and continue your walk of growth and transformation.