Latest / The Love Drive with Shaun Galanos / Sorry for ghosting you, and goodbye

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Sorry for ghosting you, and goodbye · The Love Drive with Shaun Galanos

• 0:15
  OK, so welcome to the Love Drive podcast.
• 0:18
  My name is Sean Galinos and it has been a while and I wanted to
• 0:24
  release one final episode to share with you about what's been
• 0:31
  going on for me, What is happening on the horizon or I
• 0:36
  hope to be happening or what I am going to be focusing on.
• 0:39
  And also just to apologize for essentially ghosting you.
• 0:44
  And then at the very end of this episode, I will have a sneak
• 0:47
  peek of a new project that I'm working on called Voicemails to
• 0:51
  Dad. So stay tuned for that.
• 0:54
  So first of all, just my apologies for essentially
• 0:57
  ghosting all of you and not telling you that this podcast is
• 1:03
  basically over for now in the format that you know it.
• 1:07
  And that makes me really sad. I really enjoyed spending time
• 1:12
  with you, spending time with guests, sharing my thoughts.
• 1:15
  I like this format a lot. I don't like all the other stuff
• 1:19
  that comes with the podcast, the editing, the promoting, the
• 1:21
  marketing, the uploading, all that stuff, which I shouldn't be
• 1:24
  doing anyways and I wasn't really doing at the end.
• 1:28
  I had an assistant podcast editor, Camila from Italy, who
• 1:34
  now lives in the Netherlands, helping me, and that was great.
• 1:38
  It really was great. But the upkeep of a podcast was
• 1:41
  more than I was willing to take on.
• 1:44
  And I shouldn't let you all know I had a rough year last year, as
• 1:49
  some of you might know, but that's not really an excuse
• 1:50
  because I wasn't maintaining the podcast before that.
• 1:54
  So my apologies to everybody who was wanting more episodes.
• 2:00
  I heard all of you loud and clear that this podcast was
• 2:04
  providing a lot of value and validation and education.
• 2:11
  That was really helpful and I'm, I'm glad to have been part of
• 2:14
  that for you. And I'm sad that I will no
• 2:17
  longer be using this format to share my message.
• 2:21
  And who knows, that might come back at some point.
• 2:24
  You know, if you're a big time podcast producer and or have
• 2:30
  connections with podcast agencies and you think that this
• 2:32
  would be a good fit for something more produced than
• 2:36
  sure, reach out to me sean@thelovedrive.com.
• 2:38
  But for now self hosting, self producing, self editing just
• 2:42
  doesn't make sense for me anymore.
• 2:43
  So thank you all so much for being here and these episodes
• 2:48
  will be here in perpetuity. And yeah, thank you, because
• 2:54
  without you all listening, then what's this?
• 2:57
  Just me talking into a microphone.
• 2:59
  OK. So as some of you know, last
• 3:01
  year was brutal for me. I didn't like my home space in
• 3:06
  Arizona. My father passed away in June.
• 3:08
  My relationship ended shortly thereafter.
• 3:10
  My house was broken into. All my stuff was stolen.
• 3:14
  Somehow I was able to recover it all.
• 3:17
  I ended up in the ER after a mega mountain bike accident.
• 3:22
  And it was just shitty was, you know, the hardest six months of
• 3:28
  my life. I didn't work very much.
• 3:32
  My savings dwindled. Turns out, when you don't work,
• 3:35
  not working is expensive. And yeah, that might have
• 3:42
  prompted some deeper examination into how I'm spending my time
• 3:46
  and what my work life looks like.
• 3:48
  And, you know, I've made some changes.
• 3:51
  I realized that I really wasn't happy in Arizona.
• 3:54
  It's it's nice here, you know, Flagstaff is nice ski bike
• 3:57
  climb. There's a butterfly outside my
• 3:59
  window right now. You know, it's idyllic, mild
• 4:02
  winters, good snow. But the people here just
• 4:05
  haven't. And and it's not against anybody
• 4:08
  here. It's just that I haven't found
• 4:09
  my people. And I think I thought it was
• 4:12
  going to be easier because when I moved to Montreal in like
• 4:15
  2016, right before the Trump administration began, it took a
• 4:21
  while for me to find my people, but I eventually did.
• 4:23
  It took a solid 2 years. But there's just a lot going on
• 4:27
  over there that there isn't over here.
• 4:28
  And I and I kind of thought, oh, it's OK, I will.
• 4:32
  I'll just do it again. I'll figure it out.
• 4:34
  And I didn't. I didn't really figure it out.
• 4:36
  And I think after the death of my father, I just really need to
• 4:40
  be surrounded by community, by my, like, ride or dies by my
• 4:43
  folks. And those people live either in
• 4:46
  the Bay Area, California, or in Montreal.
• 4:48
  And so in the short term, I'm moving back to Montreal just for
• 4:51
  the summer, because there's nothing better than a summer in
• 4:54
  Montreal. Trust me.
• 4:58
  So that's my living space update.
• 5:02
  Work wise courses and online groups are just not doing it for
• 5:07
  me. I think the whole zoom thing is
• 5:09
  a bit of a drag. Also, I got to be honest, I
• 5:12
  don't really love teaching that much.
• 5:16
  I'm pretty good at it. I think I developed really
• 5:18
  intentional value packed curriculum or curriculi I guess.
• 5:25
  And I'm not all over the place and well organized all that
• 5:29
  stuff and I think it's valuable for a lot of people, but it just
• 5:32
  doesn't feed my soul. And I'm just sort of tired of
• 5:35
  doing stuff that doesn't feed my soul even though it feeds the
• 5:37
  bank account. So courses are over, online
• 5:42
  groups are over. I did a handful of retreats.
• 5:44
  Those are great logistically, they're very, very challenging
• 5:48
  and draining. And so probably not going to be
• 5:53
  doing too many more retreats. I've got one coming up or I mean
• 5:57
  by the time I post this, who knows, maybe it will be, it will
• 5:59
  have been passed. But the point being is that,
• 6:03
  like the work that I've been doing, I like educating.
• 6:06
  I like sharing my message courses and groups aren't
• 6:09
  lighting me up. Retreats are really impactful
• 6:13
  for me and for the people who join them, but they're not very
• 6:17
  accessible and they're logistically challenging
• 6:19
  anyways, blah blah blah. What's coming up for me this
• 6:22
  year is I want to be writing more.
• 6:24
  Much more. I used to write a lot of blog
• 6:26
  posts and and people really enjoyed those.
• 6:28
  And what I like about writing is that I can be more intentional
• 6:35
  about what I'm putting out there.
• 6:37
  Usually when I'm on Instagram doing Q&A I'm shooting from the
• 6:40
  hip and people really like that and it's fun and it's
• 6:42
  spontaneous and often times it, it lands, sometimes it just
• 6:47
  doesn't because I'm not giving what I'm saying enough time.
• 6:51
  I'm not letting it percolate. I'm not adding colour and
• 6:55
  context to something that is black and white.
• 6:57
  I'm just shooting from the hip and sometimes that backfires.
• 7:00
  I mean, it sort of backfired recently, but which has led me
• 7:05
  to even more believe in the idea that writing is what I want to
• 7:10
  be doing at least part of the time.
• 7:13
  So I've started writing on Sub Stack.
• 7:16
  And sub stack, for those of you who don't know, is basically
• 7:19
  like a subscription blogging platform for writers.
• 7:22
  And you can subscribe as a free subscriber.
• 7:24
  You can subscribe as a paid subscriber, and I'm not going to
• 7:26
  go into all of the details of that, but you can find the
• 7:29
  publication at seangalinos.substack.com or it's
• 7:34
  in this show notes. And so I'm going to be writing
• 7:39
  more personally. I want to share more of myself
• 7:46
  vulnerably, but not to Instagram.
• 7:49
  And I think that's what the this podcast actually served that
• 7:52
  right. It really allowed me to jam on
• 7:55
  stuff that was happening for me in a more intimate way.
• 7:57
  And and I wasn't subject to trolls and haters and every
• 8:04
  Dick, Mary and Jane or Joe, Jane and Billy on the Internet who
• 8:09
  could just comment on every aspect of my personal life.
• 8:11
  So that's why I don't do that on Instagram.
• 8:14
  This podcast, as you know, was a good venue for that, but is now
• 8:18
  no longer a venue for that. And so writing on Substack is
• 8:22
  going to be that venue. It's going to be a mix of like
• 8:25
  pay walled article which which means that you have to pay to
• 8:28
  access them and free public posts for everybody else.
• 8:31
  So join me there. Sean galanos.substack.com
• 8:36
  Another thing that I am excited about.
• 8:40
  OK, so today it's like May 2nd and in February.
• 8:49
  Or maybe it was late January. I forget exactly the dates, but
• 8:51
  I went to a 10 day silent vipassana retreat, which is
• 8:55
  exactly what it sounds like. 10 days of meditating, 10 hours a
• 8:59
  day, no TV, no phones, no talking, no eye contact, no
• 9:03
  writing, no exercise. It's a very like austere, sort
• 9:07
  of rigid, if you will, meditation practice.
• 9:13
  And it's a beautiful practice. And I love it and I loved my
• 9:19
  experience there. And I'm no longer meditating
• 9:22
  Vipassana style on a daily basis.
• 9:23
  I'm doing more of like a breath work and or different types of
• 9:27
  insight meditations. I'm actually dabbling in a whole
• 9:29
  bunch of different meditations just to kind of see what I like.
• 9:32
  But one of the takeaways that I got at this Vipassana, which
• 9:37
  which if you take away everything, all your
• 9:40
  distractions, all your vices, and you're just left with
• 9:43
  meditation, you're going to have some moments of clarity.
• 9:47
  You're going to have some insights, some burning bushes,
• 9:50
  some major takeaways. And one of the major takeaways
• 9:53
  that I had is that I don't feel connected to my father who
• 9:58
  passed in June of 2023. I don't talk to him.
• 10:01
  I don't feel him. And that makes me really sad,
• 10:05
  especially since I don't actually have any audio of him
• 10:09
  except for like some conferences that he gave, like in the late
• 10:13
  80s, early 90s. I don't have voicemails, I don't
• 10:16
  have voice memos, I barely have any videos of us, which is crazy
• 10:20
  because I record everything all the time.
• 10:22
  Like I'm not not everything. I'm not a paparazzi, but I have
• 10:25
  a lot of videos with friends, you know, and I am really
• 10:29
  saddened to the by the fact that I don't have any of that stuff
• 10:32
  with my dad or from my dad. And that's life and it sucks.
• 10:38
  And it's OK. And it's sad, right?
• 10:41
  And so how do I stay connected to my dad?
• 10:43
  I had this idea that I'm going to leave my dad voicemails and
• 10:48
  I'm going to publish those voicemails, right?
• 10:50
  My therapist, as my dad was getting sick, she really wanted
• 10:56
  me to make sure I was telling him everything I wanted to tell
• 10:58
  him before he passed. And I thought I did.
• 11:01
  I really did. But then when he passed, I
• 11:02
  realized, oh fuck no, there's so much more stuff I wish I had
• 11:05
  talked to him about. And I'm not beating myself up
• 11:08
  about this, but I still need to talk to my dad.
• 11:12
  So I'm going to leave him voicemails and this will be a
• 11:15
  little micro nano podcast called Voicemails to Dad where I tell
• 11:19
  my dad everything that I wish I had told him while he was still
• 11:21
  alive and all the stuff that I wish I could talk to him right
• 11:24
  now about because he was my mentor and I am struggling with
• 11:33
  this idea that I he's just not here for me to like bounce shit
• 11:36
  off of anymore. And we also had a very complex
• 11:40
  relationship. It was really loving at the end,
• 11:43
  probably for the last like 6 or so years it was fairly
• 11:47
  uncomplicated, but before that it was like it was a doozy for
• 11:51
  sure. He was a hard man to be a son to
• 11:57
  and he was a complex dude. We're all complex, but I'm going
• 12:02
  to be talking to him and I'm going to be publishing those
• 12:06
  podcasts and so stay tuned, cause at the end of this episode
• 12:10
  I'm going to share with you the first episode of Voicemails to
• 12:13
  dad and voicemails to dad will be published on Sub stack and it
• 12:17
  will be for paid subscribers only.
• 12:20
  So you'll get the first episode and you'll also get actually the
• 12:25
  way a paywall works on sub stack is that you can give people a
• 12:27
  portion of the content for free. So like half the article and
• 12:31
  then if you want the whole article you have to pay up and
• 12:34
  subscription starts at 80 sorry, $8 a month or 80 bucks for the
• 12:39
  year. So we're not talking bank break
• 12:41
  and stuff here. But also I do know that every
• 12:43
  subscription adds up so if you can't pony up that's totally
• 12:46
  fine. But if you do want to support
• 12:48
  me, and you love my trajectory and you're along for the ride
• 12:52
  and just know that your support means the world to me, it
• 12:55
  really, really does. And especially as I transition
• 12:58
  away from courses and groups and retreats and stuff, I'm really
• 13:02
  having to figure out like, where is my income coming from?
• 13:05
  And sub stack is going to hopefully be a substantial part
• 13:08
  of that. So every subscription helps, but
• 13:11
  if I understand it correctly, you should be able to get at
• 13:14
  least half of the voicemail, which is better than none of the
• 13:17
  voicemail. And these are going to be short
• 13:19
  episodes. This is like, you know, 2-3
• 13:21
  minutes of me talking to Pops and I'm excited about it.
• 13:25
  I really, really am. OK, so at the end of this
• 13:27
  episode, you'll get a sneak peek of the first episode of
• 13:31
  Voicemails to Dad. All right, what else?
• 13:33
  What else am I looking to do? I've been speaking recently and
• 13:37
  I really like it, you know, in sort of like conferences.
• 13:41
  And I spoke to University, University of Oregon, talked to
• 13:44
  a bunch of frat guys and it was pretty amazing.
• 13:46
  And then I spoke at In Bloom alongside a whole bunch of
• 13:50
  amazing people like John Kim, Vanessa Bennett, Gabor Matte,
• 13:54
  Doctor, Jody Carrington, Jess O'Reilly, blah blah blah, Danae
• 13:57
  Logan, Logan, Uri. And I really love that.
• 14:01
  So I'd love to speak more. So I'm going to continue to
• 14:04
  develop that side of me because I like sharing things with
• 14:09
  people and I I LED people in a 75 minute workshop on emotional
• 14:13
  availability, which is by the way what my retreats are.
• 14:16
  They're just the retreats are like 2.5 days of emotional
• 14:19
  availability workshop. So I love that stuff.
• 14:23
  There is a book in me. I've been talking about this for
• 14:26
  years. I know, and that's just how it
• 14:29
  is. I am a solo lone wolf dude and
• 14:33
  shit takes me a while. So it's gonna this whole thing
• 14:36
  is gonna take a while because I don't have a team behind me and
• 14:38
  I don't want a team behind me. So the writing on Substack will
• 14:42
  inform the book I'm speaking to slowly, starting to, like, talk
• 14:46
  to publishers. And the other thing that I'm
• 14:50
  really excited about is that I I just want a freaking TV show,
• 14:53
  OK? I'm going to just say it here.
• 14:55
  I've started talking about it. I've been meeting with this
• 14:58
  coach dude who's like, hey, this is your big dream.
• 15:01
  Like, shout it from the rooftops because people will help, right?
• 15:06
  People will help you. And so that's what I want.
• 15:09
  I want ATV show. I'm not going to tell you what
• 15:10
  it's about because I don't want you to snag my idea, but I'm
• 15:15
  excited. I'm excited about it because
• 15:17
  it's new and it's scary and it's big.
• 15:20
  And I I'm kind of, I'm over the little life, right?
• 15:25
  I think I had a little life for these couple years and I sort of
• 15:28
  want to. I want to build something a
• 15:29
  little bit more exciting. So with that, I'm also trying to
• 15:35
  take time away from social media.
• 15:37
  I have my friend Kristen who's taking over my social media, but
• 15:41
  I have a hard time letting go of control.
• 15:43
  So I'm like taking it back and then she's taking it back and
• 15:45
  blah blah blah blah blah. So continuing to take time away.
• 15:49
  I am continuing to meditate on a daily basis.
• 15:52
  I've been doing a lot of breath work as well and yeah, that's
• 15:57
  it. So you can find my writing at
• 16:01
  seangalanossubstack.com or also just bought a domain called
• 16:04
  voicemails to dad.com. So if you go to voicemails to
• 16:07
  dad.com, that'll push you to my sub stack and to the voicemails
• 16:13
  to dad podcast. And without further ado,
• 16:15
  actually, before I do that, couple things.
• 16:19
  Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you for still
• 16:23
  freaking listening. I mean, for not unsubscribing,
• 16:26
  for being curious, for sticking around.
• 16:30
  Yeah, thank you for everything. And also, I do realize that I've
• 16:33
  been speaking fast. I'm kind of been a little jacked
• 16:36
  on caffeine, but I wanted to get this out.
• 16:39
  I really wanted to do this. So without further ado, the
• 16:47
  first episode of Voicemails to Dad.
• 16:50
  And before I do that, thank you and have a beautiful week.
• 16:55
  Please record your message when you have finished recording.
• 16:58
  You may hang up or press one for more options.
• 17:03
  Hey, Dad. I'm going to try to get through
• 17:08
  this without crying, but I don't think I I'll be able to.
• 17:16
  I mean, you, you know that you passed away in June.
• 17:19
  I'm not telling you anything you don't know.
• 17:23
  But I, you know, it's been hard. It's been hard not having you
• 17:29
  around. And I as much as I love you,
• 17:33
  I've been really feeling, I haven't been feeling connected
• 17:38
  to you anymore. And that really makes me sad.
• 17:43
  And I remember I was hanging out with a friend in Sedona and my
• 17:47
  friend's wife is some kind, some kind of like energy healer slash
• 17:53
  reader. And I had a session with her and
• 17:57
  she asked me where is your father?
• 18:01
  And I said, I don't know, I don't know.
• 18:04
  And she said you need to talk to him.
• 18:08
  So she's right. She's right.
• 18:11
  I need to talk to you and mom. Also, every time I'm like
• 18:14
  worried about something, she goes just ask your dad.
• 18:18
  And for some reason, there's just something really weird or
• 18:22
  embarrassing about that for me to just like, talk to you.
• 18:27
  But that's what I'm doing now. I want to talk to you.
• 18:31
  And I'm sitting at my desk in Flagstaff and I'm looking at a
• 18:36
  photo of us in Japan and it's really sweet.
• 18:44
  It's a really sweet photo. We kind of look, we look, we're
• 18:49
  both wearing puffy coats and we look really look alike except
• 18:54
  for your bald and and I am not, although I am.
• 19:00
  It is thinning up there. I'll be honest with you.
• 19:04
  And I was going through a bunch of paperwork on my desk and I
• 19:06
  found the eulogy that I spoke at your wedding, sorry, wedding
• 19:11
  funeral. I did just speak at A at a
• 19:14
  wedding last weekend. So but yeah, I gave your eulogy,
• 19:17
  you know that and I feel like you you would have really liked
• 19:21
  it. I made a joke.
• 19:26
  I made a joke. I made several jokes at the
• 19:29
  throughout the eulogy and I think they were like, wait, is
• 19:32
  he joking at his father's funeral?
• 19:36
  But I feel like you would have really loved it and so I just
• 19:38
  reread the eulogy and yeah, I think you would have loved it
• 19:45
  anyways. So this is just me saying that I
• 19:49
  will be talking to you more from now on and I miss you a lot.
• 20:05
  Yeah, all right. Love you, Dad.