Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / How to See Your Limitations as a Gift with Sara Hagerty

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How to See Your Limitations as a Gift with Sara Hagerty · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to share yet another conversation with Sarah Hagerty.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: She's been on the podcast a few times before, and not only because she's truly one of my local ride or die besties, but she is also an incredible writer who loves Jesus.
0:16
SPEAKER_00: Now, if you listened to an episode I released a couple of weeks ago, you learned a little bit more about what the last couple of years have been like in my personal life.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: And I think it's worth taking this moment to give a shout out that Sarah was one of the Enneagram fours in my life, helping me navigate the worst of my grief.
0:34
SPEAKER_00: She has sat in it with me, given me words when I had none, and she still receives my grief, even though I'm tempted to tell myself that I should be over it already.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: So when I say I'm so grateful for Sarah, you know how much I mean that.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: Sarah's new book has tackled a much needed topic for so many of us facing the reality of our human limitations.
0:57
SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's the state of our world, or maybe it's just my age, but I'm consistently bupping up against my inability to push past what frustrates or thwarts my quote-unquote progress.
1:10
SPEAKER_00: Sarah is one of those friends who has taught me so much by just getting to watch her live what she believes.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: Now here's a quick little snippet from her new book, The Gift of Limitations, Finding Beauty in Your Boundaries.
1:24
SPEAKER_00: Our limitations are often invisible, but unyielding fences in our lives until we are forced to notice them.
1:32
SPEAKER_00: These first few chapters are a guide to help you see the wire fence, the limitations you've been resenting or working fiercely to overcome, often subconsciously.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps you'll also find the relief that comes when you name the invisible but powerful.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: May we begin to see what God can do with what we resent and to consider might there be a purpose in these limits?
2:00
SPEAKER_00: Can you tell already that this book is so good?
2:02
SPEAKER_00: I know you're gonna want to snag this one right away.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: So put it in your shopping cart and listen in to our conversation.
2:12
SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the Simply Wholehearted Podcast.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Amy Wicks, your wholehearted living coach.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: And I'm so glad that you stopped by to spend some time with me.
2:24
SPEAKER_00: Are you curious about the Enneagram?
2:26
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to learn biblical truths?
2:28
SPEAKER_00: And have you wondered if there are life rhythms that will help you thrive?
2:33
SPEAKER_00: Well, friend, then you are in the right place.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: For six years, this podcast has focused on sharing conversations with my friends about life, business, motherhood, faith, and all things Enneagram from a Christian perspective.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: I truly understand what it's like to juggle everything as a wife, mom to three teenagers, a pub, and all while building a growing business.
2:59
SPEAKER_00: And friend, I haven't always done things with clarity, peace, or joy.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: But still, the Lord has taken my broken-hearted pieces and healed them so I can live with whole-hearted rhythms to provide women like you with a step-by-step process so you can get free of anxiety, shame, and frustrations that might be holding you back from thriving.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: I pray that the Lord speaks to you as you listen today and that you would invite your friends and family to join the fun conversations.
3:30
SPEAKER_00: Are you ready to laugh a little and learn a whole lot?
3:33
SPEAKER_00: Alrighty, let's get to the conversation.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Friend, we are here having a conversation for the podcast, not for our ears only.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: So you and I try to restrain ourselves.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: We are gonna try to be professional.
3:50
SPEAKER_00: We're gonna do our darndest.
3:52
SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I am so excited to have you back.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: It has been a little while, I think a couple years.
3:59
SPEAKER_01: I feel like the last one we recorded, we were at a conference and recorded like in a hotel room, I think, in between sessions.
4:07
SPEAKER_01: Yes, and actually.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: So that was a good six years ago.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
4:12
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so what the last one I'm remembering now, it was at the lake house for our retreat, and it was with Charlotte, and it was right before a door.
4:23
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
4:24
SPEAKER_00: I forgot about that.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: I know.
4:26
SPEAKER_01: So this let's just say this is the first interview we've done where I haven't had a baby like on my hip.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: That's wild.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: It is, it's wild.
4:34
SPEAKER_00: It's been a season, and I mean, having babies and launching book babies like we've been through a lot.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: I've watched you go through a lot.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: It's been quite a road.
4:48
SPEAKER_00: Let the reader understand.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: So here we are.
4:52
SPEAKER_00: There is another book baby about to be released in the world.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: But before we start talking all about that one, I have had a little fun this last, I don't know, year or so.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: I've been asking my friends who come on to tell us about their personality without telling us their type.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Just a little bit about how they would describe themselves and what this personality, you know, how they engage with the world or how they see the world or how the world sees them.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: Like in riddle, sort of.
5:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, in a in a riddle.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: That's probably the best way.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: You could probably do it very poetically.
5:31
SPEAKER_01: I've just tipped my hand a bit by saying that I might say it in riddle.
5:34
SPEAKER_01: It's true.
5:37
SPEAKER_01: Oh, well, I love reading poetry and literature.
5:42
SPEAKER_01: I like it when my house does not look like my neighbor's house.
5:50
SPEAKER_01: And if there's a conflict, I'm usually going, I did something wrong.
5:57
SPEAKER_01: It must be in me.
6:00
SPEAKER_00: Ooh, this is good.
6:02
SPEAKER_00: I like this.
6:03
SPEAKER_00: Way to do it on the spot.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: My friends are gonna like this.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: In fact, well, let's just say that I've been noodling around with an idea for the spring Enneagram series that I do every year.
6:16
SPEAKER_00: That this year, instead of going through all nine types the same way I do, each episode is a mystery.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: And people can chime in what type they think I'm talking about and sharing about, and even have a person share about their wholehearted journey without sharing their type and see if people can leave it out.
6:40
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so okay.
6:43
SPEAKER_00: This is the unofficial, hey, tell me what you think.
6:46
SPEAKER_00: I'd say all for it.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: I think it's fun.
6:49
SPEAKER_00: Well, how you described yourself is so real and so true to your type.
6:54
SPEAKER_00: How about this idea of launching a book, being an author and a writer?
7:01
SPEAKER_00: How is that challenging for your personality type?
7:05
SPEAKER_00: Or and maybe what's the benefit of your personality type in this process?
7:10
SPEAKER_01: I think in the writing process, there's a lot of benefit because I express myself through writing.
7:17
SPEAKER_01: That is my creative outlet.
7:18
SPEAKER_01: And I need a creative outlet.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: Like there is a lot of creative energy inside of me, and writing is how I writing is how I grow.
7:27
SPEAKER_01: Writing is how I think things myself, like as I write them, thoughts come to me.
7:34
SPEAKER_01: I I wish I could write after the fact, but a lot of times as I'm writing, I'm getting clarity about myself and the world.
7:42
SPEAKER_01: So, in many ways, the writing for somebody of my type, am I allowed to say what that is for those of you?
7:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're fine.
7:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
7:49
SPEAKER_01: I think for the, you know, the world, the writing world is full of Enneagram force or songwriters.
7:55
SPEAKER_01: But I think there there actually are multiple hats in 2024 that you have to wear as an author.
8:02
SPEAKER_01: And there is the actual writing, which is my passion and I love it.
8:07
SPEAKER_01: But then there is the other part of it, which is the marketing and the launch of the book, which feels for me, and I can't say this for every Enne Gram 4, but for me, it really is extremely challenging to do this part of the launch.
8:23
SPEAKER_01: If I lean heavy into my three-wing, I actually it's fun.
8:27
SPEAKER_01: And I get a little like, hey, I'm running a race and I want to win.
8:32
SPEAKER_01: But there's an inner conflict there because I can fall off for feeling like I'm being inauthentic.
8:39
SPEAKER_01: Not that I'm saying that mentality is inauthentic, but inauthentic.
8:48
SPEAKER_01: I like kind of writing in a corner.
8:51
SPEAKER_01: I wish it was 1980 where you could just write.
8:54
SPEAKER_01: I mean, my friends who were authors back in the 90s or late 80s wrote their books literally and like shipped their manuscript that they had handwritten off, and that was it.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: That's it's a challenge to have my name on a book to be out there to feel misunderstood, because I think inevitably the more exposure you get, the more chances there are for being misunderstood.
9:16
SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's it for me personally, this last leg of a very long race of a book feels hard.
9:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I can't imagine.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: I wonder if fours in general would also struggle with the process of wondering if their words were unique enough and worthy of them seeing the light of it of day, only because there's that oftentimes the comparison that comes in of like, oh, it's already been said, or is it distinct or unique enough?
9:42
SPEAKER_01: Or I could, I have not seen that.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: I have not felt that myself as I'm writing, but I there have been times where after I've written something, and then I'll see hues of that in other people's writing, and it feels a little like and not saying that it started with me, but you know, I I'm kind of like, well, but isn't that my voice?
10:03
SPEAKER_01: I I have felt that.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: I mean, even as as recent as this week, I shared with Nate some reading that I was doing, and I said that came out after I wrote, and I I had a little this is yeah, isn't this my thought?
10:16
SPEAKER_01: But it it isn't, right?
10:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's hundreds, if not thousands, of people who are communicating at the same time, all in a cultural moment, communicating similar things.
10:26
SPEAKER_01: But I think as a four, I like having my things feel different.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: Yes, have it be distinctly you.
10:34
SPEAKER_00: I yes, in this day and age, and all the more with the hyper speed that we are in with publishing and sharing the written word and just communication in general.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: So I think that would be there would be a twinge there.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: It would be a real natural thing to I have ownership over this.
10:54
SPEAKER_01: Not that this was actually maybe originated with God, not that I'm like communicating, you know, the word of God.
11:01
SPEAKER_01: But like you feel a little bit of ownership and you want exclusivity to the things that are your thoughts.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: Oh, I think that's so good.
11:10
SPEAKER_00: The exclusivity, because that bleeds into our relationships and our art form, all sorts of different dynamics, even with, hey, I thought that was just between you and me, God, wasn't it?
11:23
SPEAKER_00: And then I don't know, in that thought, even is like, well, of course it's not just between you and me, even though it's special for me.
11:30
SPEAKER_00: There's that's the gift of the written word is that I know the words that you have lived and you have shared are words that were also meant for me and will bless me and are words that I need.
11:44
SPEAKER_01: So it's I mean, it's a tension as a four to stay aware that the creativity that I have is a gift, and he's gifting it to other people too.
11:57
SPEAKER_01: And I'm just one small piece of a very, very, very, very large puzzle.
12:04
SPEAKER_00: That's real.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Thank you for sharing that.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: That's good.
12:09
SPEAKER_00: Or to the fourth degree.
12:13
SPEAKER_00: That's so good.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: Well, I think you'll appreciate this next question.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: And pretty sure we've had conversations around this before, but we're often in the whole hearted community, whether it's the coaching programs or different events and the podcast for sure, but oftentimes we spend a moment talking about the brokenhearted moment that we may have had or experienced that births a decision to take those broken pieces to the Lord.
12:43
SPEAKER_00: And that's often where our story begins.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: And certainly that's where I think the healing journey begins.
12:49
SPEAKER_00: So for you, was there a moment where this new message came like to you?
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Because I know this has been a fought-for message.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: This is not contrived and trying to fulfill someone's wishes or an industry demand.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: It's the Lord has put this in your heart, but I'm curious, is there a moment that you can pinpoint?
13:12
SPEAKER_01: It's interesting because I look back and I see probably a dozen moments that maybe created a bit of a snowball where I started to go, there's a theme in my life.
13:22
SPEAKER_01: And I felt it when I was young, younger and struggling with infertility and going, my body is not doing what it's supposed to do at this stage.
13:32
SPEAKER_01: And then ironically enough, I felt it when our family grew so fast through adoption.
13:37
SPEAKER_01: So with four kids in two years, grew from just the two of us to four kids in two years, and went like, I'm gasping for air.
13:46
SPEAKER_01: And then our family grew again.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: You know, it's like now the irony that I have seven kids and I'm feeling some of the same limitations that I felt, not or the same feelings about my limitations that I felt when I was childless in my 20s.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: And so I think it's been a snowball.
14:04
SPEAKER_01: It's interesting because as you bring this up, I'm thinking you have, I'm just reminded of how you have been my coach.
14:10
SPEAKER_01: I've gotten a lot of free coaching from you.
14:13
SPEAKER_01: And when you said that, I would actually always wanted.
14:16
SPEAKER_01: No, I mean, I feel like, oh, so at some point I'm gonna have to start paying you because you are coaching me away.
14:23
SPEAKER_01: But I was thinking about actually a walk that we took, it was maybe a year and a half ago on the Tomahawk trail.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: And that was a broken-hearted moment, and it felt crystallizing for me to hear you kind of say back to me, oh, this is a trend, and here's what you can do with this.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: And so I think in some ways, and I can't speak to that moment per se because it's private, but just the reality that there have been a lot of those kind of moments, and then there's been crystallizing times like that walk where I felt like, oh, there is something to do out of this brokenness.
15:05
SPEAKER_01: It's not just for me to sit in it.
15:08
SPEAKER_01: Yes, sit in it for sure and grieve, but there's there's a uh a way to be productive with our pain.
15:15
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like it's actually you that help me get there.
15:18
SPEAKER_00: I think that's a personality question too, in that, because it would be easier or more natural.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: The bent of the four would be to just sit in the pain.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: And that is that can be a good thing for a time, but just stay there and just be it is what it is and not do anything about it.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: What was the catalyst for you to go?
15:46
SPEAKER_00: I think the Lord has something here for me in this pain and in this feeling that's reoccurring.
15:51
SPEAKER_01: I think, you know, one of the first in terms of the whole of like my writing, not just this message in this book, though I think it this message in this book started three books ago.
16:02
SPEAKER_01: I remember sitting in my kitchen on Rolling Meadow Lane in Charlottesville, Virginia, and feeling so debilitated by my infertility, like just really realizing like this may never change, and not clear as to how easy the adoption process would be for us.
16:21
SPEAKER_01: And in fact, it was quite challenging.
16:23
SPEAKER_01: And I read in Proverbs the satiated soul loathes the honeycomb, but to the hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: And it was a rare aha moment where I went, God wants to use my pain.
16:43
SPEAKER_01: And it something shifted in me then that I feel like still is even curious.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I've had hard even harder seasons since.
16:49
SPEAKER_01: And I feel like there's been a thread carried through of this is not meant for me to just sit and stay in it.
16:58
SPEAKER_01: There are seasons where we need to sit and stay in it.
17:01
SPEAKER_01: The four is especially gifted at that.
17:04
SPEAKER_00: Yes.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: And invites the rest to us to it.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: You want to wind me up and let me go, I'll give you the speech about staying in your grief.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: It's true, and I often need it.
17:17
SPEAKER_00: So there you go.
17:18
SPEAKER_02: We're a good combo because you bring fun to my life, and I just give you the same speech every couple months about stand in your grief.
17:27
SPEAKER_00: Traversing through the page.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: I don't want to work.
17:31
SPEAKER_01: It's right.
17:32
SPEAKER_01: But I think it, I don't know.
17:33
SPEAKER_01: So I feel like since then that moment has kind of carried through a lot a series of challenging circumstances where I've just known, but to the hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: To the if we're really hungry for God, the most bitter things that God gives us can actually be sweet to the soul.
17:54
SPEAKER_01: And I've had enough now inertia because I've had some hard seasons and seen that God really used them, such that now we've been actually in a really challenging season again.
18:05
SPEAKER_01: But if I feel like I've got history, I have a whole photo album full of when God uses hard.
18:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we do.
18:13
SPEAKER_00: And I think if we're willing to not only keep account but reflect on those accounts, yeah, we can testify to that, which is so frustrating when they're in the middle of hard and you don't want to face it again.
18:28
SPEAKER_00: And you're like, I just want it to be easier, dog.
18:32
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
18:33
SPEAKER_00: In that the fact that, you know, one painful moment years ago, where the Lord has turned that into a beautiful message and then a recurring theme, the idea and the struggle with limitations didn't end when you went to go write a book.
18:52
SPEAKER_00: It probably only amped up because that's how it goes.
18:55
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I yes, absolutely.
18:58
SPEAKER_01: I feel like the thing that every, you know, burgeoning writer or entrepreneur or creative needs to know is like if you choose to carry a message, it's not the ones and one and done.
19:09
SPEAKER_01: Like once you actually start to speak that message, you're gonna have to live it again.
19:13
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: Hate it for you.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: Sorry.
19:16
SPEAKER_00: But with that, what's been maybe one of the biggest limitations that you can name that you've bumped up against in the writing of this book, or that's even ongoing right now for you?
19:27
SPEAKER_00: You mentioned seven kids, and I think that's probably gonna be a big one.
19:32
SPEAKER_01: That's a big one.
19:33
SPEAKER_01: Surprisingly, though, I turned in my manuscript and I was diagnosed with Lyme disease, you know this, shortly after I turned in my manuscript, which was actually more like a period at the end of a sentence than it was a new sentence in my life, because I had been sick for at that point about a year and a half.
19:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:51
SPEAKER_01: Pretty uh like every month getting sick.
19:53
SPEAKER_01: And so the diagnosis actually answered a lot of questions for me.
19:57
SPEAKER_01: But that year and a half was as I was writing the book.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: So there's a lot of stories in the book, but I didn't wrote them not knowing what I had or what was going on in my body.
20:06
SPEAKER_01: I just knew that it was like I was in kindergarten.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: You know, when you're in kindergarten or your freshman year of college and you're like velcro to every sickness you're around.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: That was me at you know, 43.
20:17
SPEAKER_01: And so, oh goodness, not 43, but we'll just pretend that it was we'll we'll just leave that there.
20:22
SPEAKER_01: It wasn't 43.
20:24
SPEAKER_01: We'll just leave it there.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: But so it was really interesting and still is interesting to me today.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: Like I I read my audiobook because I got to read for my own audiobook.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: And as I read it through last month, it was like a test for me to go, is this really real?
20:42
SPEAKER_01: Is the message, you know, the four in me to be authentic?
20:45
SPEAKER_01: Did I just create this message?
20:47
SPEAKER_01: And I I cried through some of the reading of it because here I am now with Lyme disease and aware acutely of my physical limitations and going, This really holds true.
21:01
SPEAKER_01: The message actually has been really real for me that even when I'm limited, there is a gift to be had there.
21:07
SPEAKER_01: And the limits that produce this deep desire in us to overcome them, because as believers, we think shouldn't we be overcomers?
21:15
SPEAKER_01: So I want to overcome this.
21:18
SPEAKER_01: But I'm sure most of your listeners have something in their life that they just cannot overcome.
21:24
SPEAKER_01: And instead of going down that pathway of what can I do to get over this?
21:28
SPEAKER_01: And how can I work harder to get through this?
21:31
SPEAKER_01: How can I intercede more for this to change?
21:33
SPEAKER_01: For me, it was realizing there's another way.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: And that's actually just submitting to the limitations that God is giving me and starting to see in a process that they could be a gift.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: There's so much that I learned from you and all in all of this, right?
21:53
SPEAKER_00: And I I remember as first maybe it was just a seed of an idea, just a little, maybe hadn't even.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: Been like this is the next book, but we were talking about some of these limitations, and I just remember sharing a story of one of my clients who's now a wholehearted coach who has CP, and that was often the narrative or the message that she received was just like get over it, overcome, pray for healing, the physical healing, or just if you believed enough, you would experience it.
22:27
SPEAKER_00: And I have seen her just thrive.
22:31
SPEAKER_00: She's our age, living on her own, a homeowner, a business owner, and her CP isn't gone.
22:40
SPEAKER_00: And it's not that she has overcome this limitation, is she has worked within the beautiful boundaries.
22:48
SPEAKER_00: And in fact, it's been her ministry and is her ministry.
22:52
SPEAKER_00: And she also is a foreign and incredible writer.
22:56
SPEAKER_00: Interesting about her, yeah.
22:57
SPEAKER_00: Yes, yes.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: And so I feel like those are the things you're you've lived this in real time.
23:03
SPEAKER_00: I've seen this unfolded.
23:04
SPEAKER_00: We've had conversations about it, yes, but these little things that some of our friends are gonna relate more to you, whereas that they would maybe relate more to me.
23:13
SPEAKER_00: We all are bumping up against limitations.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: And it's gonna be hard for us so uniquely and differently, but we're all gonna have them.
23:22
SPEAKER_00: And I've just loved how you have laid out in this book a pathway through.
23:30
SPEAKER_00: And in that, you have taught me so much in whether it's the writing process or just the living process, it doesn't all have to tie with the pretty bow at the top of it and have it all figured out right away.
23:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's okay to leave things open or to know that there's not an answer, or you don't have an answer, and it's okay, and it still can be, you're still making progress, right?
23:54
SPEAKER_00: And so, in that, you have invited the reader in your words to go on this journey of exploring limitations and unpack it in such a what I think is a life-giving way.
24:06
SPEAKER_00: What has been your thought in that and how you laid out the words in the book and the chapters, and what does that journey look like for the reader?
24:15
SPEAKER_01: Well, I think interestingly enough, a little bit of background.
24:18
SPEAKER_01: We did some kind of research before writing the book, uh, my team and I, just hearing from people what their limitations were and really realizing, like for me, writing it, there's a lot of people whose limitations I don't have.
24:32
SPEAKER_01: So it's an interesting challenge to write a book about limitations that's full of stories, recognizing that there are women reading it who have no children or who are not married, and they're reading about my limitations of having seven children.
24:46
SPEAKER_01: Or there's a variety of different at the time when I actually planned the book and mapped it out, I didn't have physical limitations.
24:54
SPEAKER_01: It takes a long time to write a book.
24:55
SPEAKER_01: So I hadn't started getting sick then.
24:57
SPEAKER_01: So I think in some ways, I really tried to lean into the reality that we, you and I could have totally different limitations, but we do share a sisterhood and a brotherhood of being limited.
25:11
SPEAKER_01: That like I might dream of your life with just three kids.
25:15
SPEAKER_01: I mean, I love my seven children, but the reality is I'm an introvert and it's crazy.
25:19
SPEAKER_01: So I might dream of your and you might dream of my life in different ways.
25:23
SPEAKER_01: And so I think that's I tried to bring that into the book that we just we can't get into the nitty-gritty of like, well, she has what I don't want.
25:32
SPEAKER_01: In fact, the opposite, we all share one commonality.
25:36
SPEAKER_01: I mean, we share a lot of commonalities, but we share the commonality that we are standing inside the fence and looking over the other side of the fence, wanting something we can't have.
25:46
SPEAKER_01: Or to use a different metaphor, we're window watchers and looking inside a storefront that we that has is full of things that we can't have.
25:55
SPEAKER_01: And I wrote a lot of stories, which is interesting.
25:58
SPEAKER_01: Going, I recognize that some of my stories people can't necessarily identify with exactly, but I learned through story.
26:05
SPEAKER_01: I have a hard time reading books that aren't full of story.
26:08
SPEAKER_01: And if I could, I would write novels because I feel like sometimes those are the ones that like stick the deepest, right?
26:14
SPEAKER_01: But I can't.
26:15
SPEAKER_01: So the next best thing is I just told a lot of story and sort of tied it into a process of not just, hey girl, you got this, see your limitation as a gift, move on, but more so can you enter a process where you actually would grieve your limitations and in the grieving experience the comfort of God.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: And then as a result, might you might discover on the tail end of this long process that your limitations are a gift.
26:43
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
26:44
SPEAKER_00: Oh man, I'm so excited for people who go through that journey.
26:48
SPEAKER_00: I feel like there's a hint of a holy lament practice invitation through it, where it's, you know, it's not that overt, but I I think that is part of the invitation of going through this and going through your words and your story.
27:03
SPEAKER_00: And I love it.
27:05
SPEAKER_00: You are a great storyteller.
27:07
SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, maybe novel next time around in 10, 20 years.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: You and we wouldn't have to do that.
27:16
SPEAKER_00: I want to launch all these kids, maybe.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
27:18
SPEAKER_00: I was just having a conversation for someone else's podcast, and we were talking about daily rhythms and prayer.
27:26
SPEAKER_00: And what came up is that oftentimes God answers our prayer, but then it requires more prayer.
27:34
SPEAKER_00: And I think that's just even the interesting thing for you, right?
27:38
SPEAKER_00: The Lord answered your prayer and your home is filled with seven children, but then that has required so much more prayer for all the different reasons.
27:48
SPEAKER_00: And I think that to your point, we we all look over the fence, and if we were to look back, we could see, oh, wait, what used to be on the other side of the fence is here with me right now.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: And can we take note of that and find the beauty in those things?
28:09
SPEAKER_00: So I know it's it's just our human condition that we keep looking outside the boundaries and going, that's for me.
28:23
SPEAKER_00: So oh, it's so good.
28:24
SPEAKER_00: I can't wait for my friends to be able to get your book.
28:28
SPEAKER_00: I think it's releases tomorrow.
28:30
SPEAKER_00: Is that correct?
28:31
SPEAKER_00: Do you have some pre-order specials?
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Or anybody who orders before midnight, before the book releases, they actually get three months free access to SOAR, which is my private writing space where I get a lot more candid and I write more free teams.
28:47
SPEAKER_01: They'll get three months free access to that.
28:49
SPEAKER_01: They also get a digital copy of The Gift of Limitations, and they also get access to Nate and I have done a couple live conversations around our limitations, a little bit behind the scenes about writing the book, and they'll have access to those too.
29:03
SPEAKER_00: Just to seeing the highlight reel of those conversations.
29:08
SPEAKER_00: I'm like, that's enough right there.
29:11
SPEAKER_00: And I get to see you all in real person together.
29:14
SPEAKER_00: I know those videos are gonna be dynamic, it's gonna be great.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: I love it.
29:18
SPEAKER_00: And I'm a proud member of your source community.
29:21
SPEAKER_00: And it's just it's I love reading those words.
29:25
SPEAKER_00: And I even though we get to talk, there's just something about getting to read it in that process state.
29:31
SPEAKER_00: And I think to your point, as you write, you have the words, and I see that, and it's really cool to see how that unfolds in your gift in that way.
29:40
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so here we are.
29:42
SPEAKER_00: We've done it, we've for the most part controlled ourselves and had a professional conversation.
29:52
SPEAKER_00: That's tonight with Enjoy Salads.
29:55
SPEAKER_00: Um, but anything else, just as you imagine, my friend who's hearing this conversation, who's stirred by your words and has put the book in her Amazon cart, what other words of encouragement would you have for her?
30:10
SPEAKER_01: I would say a phrase that keeps coming to me is weak is the new strong.
30:15
SPEAKER_01: And I think in the culture we're in, where we can optimize everything.
30:19
SPEAKER_01: I mean, it from our groceries to our skincare to our anti-aging.
30:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm revealing my age that these are all the things that pop up on Instagram.
30:29
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
30:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:30
SPEAKER_01: But we can optimize everything.
30:31
SPEAKER_01: We're in a culture that we feel like strong is really strong when in reality, we I mean, we know from the word that in Corinthians, my power is made perfect in weakness.
30:41
SPEAKER_01: And Paul says, Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, because when I am weak, he is strong.
30:47
SPEAKER_01: I'll take it down or take it to a bite-sized notch that I think weak is the new strong.
30:52
SPEAKER_01: And the parts of your life that you have resented may actually be part of your greatest strength in life.
30:59
SPEAKER_01: It just may mean that you need somebody to hold your hand and help you get there.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: Like I've had people hold my hand and help me get there to seeing, oh, these things that I have been spending untold amounts of energy resenting are actually part of God's great story for me.
31:17
SPEAKER_00: Wow.
31:18
SPEAKER_00: That is the perfect way to finish this conversation and the encouragement that I'm sure my friend needed as she listened.
31:25
SPEAKER_00: So thank you.
31:26
SPEAKER_00: Thank you, friend, for doing this and for your work.
31:29
SPEAKER_00: And just so excited for what the Lord's going to do with this book.
31:33
SPEAKER_00: Thank you.
31:34
SPEAKER_00: I know she is so great, right?
31:36
SPEAKER_00: I have to say, I'm pretty proud of us that we did such a good job of keeping it professional and staying on topic.
31:42
SPEAKER_00: It was truly a struggle for me.
31:44
SPEAKER_00: I really do wish we had more time to record more conversations because there's so much about Sarah that I know you would enjoy learning about and learning from.
31:54
SPEAKER_00: So if you haven't already ordered Sarah's new book, The Gift of Limitations, Finding Beauty in Your Boundaries, do it today.
32:03
SPEAKER_00: And then would you please thank her on Instagram for sharing on this podcast?
32:07
SPEAKER_00: It would bless her to hear from you and to know that you're excited about the message in her book.
32:12
SPEAKER_00: All right, friend, thanks for being here once again, and thanks for sharing conversations like these with your friends.
32:18
SPEAKER_00: It means so much to me.
32:20
SPEAKER_00: Until next time, continue to pursue God's perspective, purpose, and plans for your simply wholehearted life.