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Four Powerful Emotions – That Will Instantly Change Your Life · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:00
  Kelly Hatfield: Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,
• 0:03
  John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So here's a topic today, four powerful emotions that will instantly change your life. Now I came across a short video from the legendary Jen Rome, who, as you well know, is one of the founders of the personal growth industry, and he talks about the four powerful emotions that will instantly change your life. So let's listen to this, and then we'll we'll talk about it. So I'm going to play it on my phone. Hopefully this comes through well enough. So here we go,
• 0:41
  Jim Rohn: Four emotions that can change your life in one day. Here they are. Number one, disgust. Disgust says, I have had it. And whether you've had it with something small or something major, the day you can say I've had it may not be the day it ends, but the day it begins, the man's finally had it with mediocrity. He's had it with being a loser. The guy sick inside finally says, I've had it being on my knees in the dust, looking for pennies. We're not living like this any moment. See, that could be the day, the day you can say, I've had it. Here's the next one decision. What shall I do? Well for progress, you must decide. The best advice I can give you came from a wealthy friend of mine who said, If it's easy, do it easy. If it's hard, do it hard. Just get it done many times after you've decided, getting on with it is easier than deciding. Sometimes decision is the toughest part. Here's the next emotion, desire, wanting too, bad enough. There's two things I know about desire. Number one, it comes from inside, not outside. Number two, I know desire can be triggered. Sometimes, desire waits and sleeps for something to happen. Maybe it's a book, maybe it's a song, maybe it's a sermon, maybe it's the conversation of a friend, a happening, an event. The best I can vice I can give you is what I give my staff. It goes like this, welcome every human experience, even the bad experiences. Sometimes from the bitterest experience comes the greatest awakening. Here's the last one, resolve. Resolve says, I will, two of the most powerful words in the language I will. The man says, I will climb the mountain. They've told me it's too high, it's too far, it's too rocky, it's too difficult, but it's my mountain. I will climb it pretty soon. You'll see me waving from the top or dead on the side, because I ain't coming back. Benjamin Disraeli once said, nothing can resist a human will that will stake even its existence on the extent of its purpose. Now let me show you what
• 3:03
  triggers all emotions into activity that brings results. Here it is, action. Finally, you must do something about how you feel. Jesus, the master teacher, said, Don't just be listeners. Be doers. The world admires the doers. Sometimes it doesn't take much to alter your whole life direction.
• 3:25
  John Mitchell: Boy is Ed not good.
• 3:28
  Kelly Hatfield: I love him. I love him as a I love how concise he is, and you know how he just breaks things down and the way he delivers the message? But those are all powerful. So disgust, decision, desire, resolve. And then the final piece is that you have to do something about those emotions. Take action and do something about how you feel,
• 3:49
  John Mitchell: Right, right? I tell you, I I relate really a lot to that first one, the the discussed. And I'll tell you two sort of quick stories for this played out in my life. And I guess the first time it happened that I really got disgusted was I was in the collision repair business. This is when I was in my 40s, before I got in the reverse mortgage business. And it was not an ideal business for me, a blue collar business that I thought I could make more successful by being more sophisticated. Wrong. It was odd. It did not play into my strengths and and I remember there was a time in it, towards towards the end, where I remember it was hard to get managers and quality managers. And I remember I'd gone through a number of them, I'd even give them the opportunity to share the profits. So one day, the manager calls me up, and he's about, I don't know, 35 years old, and he says to me, he says, I don't think I can come in today, because. Because my girlfriend and I broke up. And I'm like, okay, so you're not coming in today because you and your girlfriend broke up. Like, okay, well, we'll see you tomorrow.
• 5:16
  I hung up that phone and I'm like, that's it. That is it. I am done with this business. And I remember literally looking at my to do sheet that I had the rest of the day. I took it, crumbled it up, threw it away, made a new to do sheet where now my focus was selling the business. I mean, it was that dramatic. I love it. You can't come in because you broke up with your girlfriend. Get out of here, God Almighty. Then the second time is everybody probably relate to this with my story of being 50 and not as successful as I thought I should be and I'd add it. I'd add it. I knew I was capable of so much more, but why wasn't it showing up? I'm like, You got to do something different and and I had just had it, and that's that was probably preceded the idea to go find the top book the world on success and apply that book, word for word my life. But I love that at idea of disgust and and have you, and I know you've had that, that feeling of disgust. Right?
• 6:36
  Kelly Hatfield: Absolutely. And you know, it's so funny, because when you say it, the word disgust, you know, and especially how he used it too, with loser. And I don't know, I remember one of the catalysts when I started my first business was there was something that happened at the office that had to do with safety, where somebody came over the counter, you know. And it was scary, you know. And I had been requesting, you know, more secure, you know, location for years, this when you were in the reception, when I was in the recruiting business for BitBox recruiting for my own business, okay? And their solution was putting in this little rinky dink gate that was waist height that anybody could jump right over the top of, you know, I thought, That's it, like I am done. I I'm not being heard. This is a safety this is a safety issue. And, you know, this had been on top of, you know, conversations with my mentor, me wanting to start my own business having not done it. And that was one of, like, the last straws that broke the camel's back where I was like, you know, I'm gonna do things my own way. I'm gonna treat my employees differently and make sure that they're, you know. So it was this whole you know, kind of thing, but I think more so for me than disgust, and it would fall into the disgust category is disappointment. So being disappointed in myself that I was not doing what I was like I wanted to start my own business for years, and here it was. I blinked my eyes, and I'm 13 years into a career at the same company, and I haven't started my own business yet, and it was more a disappointment in myself, like the impact that I wanted to make, the fact that I had this dream that I hadn't fulfilled. And so, you know, and I so I think that would fall into the disgust category, but for me it was, it felt more like disappointment in myself.
• 8:34
  John Mitchell: But isn't disappointment just the predecessor to disgust?
• 8:38
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think so. I think it's there. They're in that same family. So I think it sits there, because once that disgust or disappointment in myself came in, it was then the decision to, like, Okay, here's what I'm going to do, you know, I didn't start putting my business plan together. I'm going to start, you know, and having that desire, as he mentioned, it being an inside job. My decision was triggered by that incident being the final straw, you know, and then kind of the resolve, like, I'm going to do this, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to do A, B and C, and then the steps in taking action and bringing that to light. And within four months of that happening, I was gone. I had given my notice and, you know, and gave a month's notice, which they accepted, to help with the transition and stuff and and, you know, I was out of there and had my own office already set up and ready to walk into, you know. So I think, yeah, as he was saying this, I'm like, where is a point in my life, you know, where I can literally see this process take place, and that would be the one thing that just is a bright, shiny, you know, example of this kind of inaction,
• 9:47
  John Mitchell: Right, right? And he talks about how get it done and and taking action. I see that people wrestle with decisions and will. To wrestle with decisions for six months. It is that's analysis by paralysis. And I think that if you just logically sit down with something and really write out the pros and cons and really think about it for a couple of days, and get all the facts, and you'll discover there's more facts you may need and but go through that process, things don't need to take six months to make a decision. Just make the damn decision and and go. But what's, what's the first step? Another thing I sort of see is oftentimes people want to see the full path, all you need to see is the next step, yeah, because the path will adjust based on taking the next step each time. Yeah. Just maybe see as much as you can. But if, if you can't see beyond the next step, just take the next step.
• 10:56
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly one other thing that stood out to me, and this goes back to what we talk about all the time, which is the power of your words, what you say to yourself, what you and so what I love when he talked about resolve was he said, I will, which are the two most powerful words in the human language. So there's a big difference between saying, Yeah, I'm gonna do A, B and C, you know, or and this, I battle this all the time with my team. When I'll give a, you know, you know, like, Hey, you follow up with, you know, ABC client or whatever, and they're like, Yeah, I'll do that sometime this week or whatever. And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, like, we need to use more definitive language. So there's a big difference between I'm going to, and I will, right? It sends a whole different, you know, like your brain responds in a much different way to that, because it goes back to what we talk about, whether it's a preference or whether it's a, you know, a necessity I will, is this, it's a necessity going I'm going to, is, you know, a preference and so that, yeah, which makes a huge difference. And so I love that when he talked about and and singled out I will and be as the two most powerful words in the human language, or phrase in the human language,
• 12:13
  John Mitchell: Right? I'll tell you something that's that's been going on in my life that's interesting, that I have people in my life that are trying to figure out their life and their their career, including my, my stepson, who's a musician out in LA but, but I see it a lot. I have, I have, you know, maybe a couple of 30 year olds, one, one in particular, I'm, I'm thinking about and, and I've got a 34 year old, and I even see people in their 40s and 50s trying to figure out their life. And this one I've really been thinking about, there's a natural time to figure out your life and your your career when you're 30, because until you're about 30, you don't have enough experience in the world, and you don't typically know what your special talent is. Now I found out my special talent of being able to save the complex make it simple when I was like 27 years old as a CPA. But I think oftentimes it takes people in their late 20s to figure it out. Obviously, not always. Sometimes people figure it out earlier or not, but around that age of 30, that's when you really ideally should get your act together. And as you're figuring out what you're going to do, you got to figure out what your strength is, and by God, you got to play into that strength. One of the things I see that is easy to do, and I'm thinking about my my friend that's 34 years old.
• 13:53
  Don't get diluted by all the things you could do. You can do a lot. She is super talented at musically and effervescent personality, all sorts of things she can do. But, and she's talked to me about, I could be a leader. I could lead teams. I could do this. I could do that. Well, sure, because you're talented, you could do a lot of things, but what is the thing that you're best at? And and if money is important to you, well, there's nothing wrong with money. If you're going to spend 40 hours a week working, why not earn a big paycheck rather than a smaller paycheck. And like, in her case, she is just a phenomenal personality. I mean, you get around her, and there's this effervescence that just shines through. It's sort of like, well, my stepson, he's got that same thing, and I've been telling him, that's your talent. That usually you got to go get a talent that the marketplace will reward, that'll pay you 50 $70 an hour, instead of working at a job that pays you $20 an hour. But in their case, their their outsized personality is, their personality is, there a special talent, and you need to monetize it, and you need to need to monetize it by getting in selling. Selling is going to be way more lucrative than managing people and leading people. And if you're going to sell, sell high ticket item, because that means you're going to get a high ticket Commission, as opposed to a low ticket commission. And the other thing I think you have to look at is the future. And I look at this a lot because I'm from teaching it at the University of Texas and just being tuned into AI Boy, this world is radically changing. I mean radically changing. And there are professions that make no sense to go into today. But as an example, I think, I think the recruitment business is a great business. Sure, there's going to be change from Ai, but that's I and I'm curious see what you think. It just seems to me that's always going to be a business that is going to be there and be be
• 16:32
  lucrative. Would you agree with that?
• 16:34
  Kelly Hatfield: I'm not sure. Honestly, I'm a little concerned with some of the research and some of the stuff I've been doing. I think that the the tools that are out there now can definitely enhance the experience, you know, for recruiting firms, you know, and make them more efficient, and make them more profitable, and, you know, that kind of a thing. I think there needs to be a human element inside the recruiting business for the you know, algorithms can do it, but they all it's different having a person involved. So I think that there will be that. I think that the ones that are there's going to be those that rise to the top and that do it right, and that those recruiting firms that don't embrace AI that don't are gonna will perish. They're not gonna make it, you know. So I'm not sure the tools keep getting more and more advanced. I don't know what this means or looks like in the, you know, broader picture with how quickly to your point that you made, it's just getting the tools are getting smarter and smarter, you know, and things are becoming more and more advanced, and it's speeding up, you know. And so it's like, okay, this feels different than when LinkedIn came on the market, or monitor.com or Career Builder like you know, that have become tools. I'm not sure whether AI is going to just be that, where it becomes another tool, you know, for recruiters to utilize, or whether we're going to see a real shift where it replaces recruiters. I don't know. I'm still it's still early to tell. I could see it going either way.
• 18:02
  John Mitchell: Well, it seems to me, at the end of the day, when you're trying to fill a job and you got a viable candidate, the the essence of it comes down to you, the recruiter saying to the candidate, now, come on, let's man up. Here's, here's the attributes of this job. And you know, recapping it, recapping the job, recapping the frustrations of the person in their current job. Because this so helpful to have a third party. Sort of, yeah, absolutely. And that seems like the essence of recruiting, isn't
• 18:37
  Kelly Hatfield: It is. And the influence piece that takes place that you know, the to your point, the marketing that takes place on the candidate side for the company. And so absolutely, you know, it's just interesting how you're seeing new things kind of crop up. And it's like, Okay, what does this mean? And it could mean that it swings where, you know, you'll see companies move toward AI, and then there'll be a shift back where it's like, this isn't getting us to where we you know. So I don't know, it'll it'll be really interesting. I'm thinking it likely is going to be a tool, you know, that recruiters use, you know, and it will again, make things more efficient, and that it won't replace the recruiter altogether. But I haven't deluded myself in thinking that that's not a possibility with as quickly as things are moving, I don't know.
• 19:22
  John Mitchell: Oh, yeah, so yeah. Well, and the other thing I was telling my friend that you have to understand the challenges of where you live, like, like, she lives in Redding, California, which is a couple hours from Sacramento, no doubt, fabulous place. But is it a fabulous place? If you're trying to now figure out your career and get going in a career, it'd be a great place. Maybe 10 years from now, say you're a recruiter, you've been doing it, and you can work from home. Yeah, all great. But to launch into. To the business. Maybe you need to be in Sacramento, or you need to be in in San Francisco, where you, like you said, you go into the office and you you learn it. It's not really a ideal situation to to live there and start that industry from scratch. And so your stage of life and where you live, I think, has to be considered. And I remember, when I was 50, I was living in Dallas. I'm like, Boy, I'll tell you, I want to live in a place that has more esthetic beauty than Dallas and Austin is like the California, Texas. Of course, I had dated every girl in Dallas since, you know
• 20:44
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly, basically, the market was exhausted there, so you had to change. You had to move to a different city
• 20:50
  John Mitchell: That's it. I mean, it's unfortunate that I dated every single viable woman in Dallas, but so that's, you know, where you live is matters. And I tell you, I of course, you live in one of the most beautiful places in the in the world, but I think about it all the time, like just a couple of days ago, the gins and I just go and jump in the lake. Literally jump in that lake about 6pm and we're floating, and boats are coming around us, and the waves are coming totally fun. I wouldn't be doing that in in Dallas. And when you're driving around in in Austin, it's totally hilly, very, very much like California. And in Dallas, you're driving through thoroughfares and highways, and so stage of life will dictate, to some degree, where the best place to live is. But I think all this relates to what Jim Rohn was talking about in that there is that point where you just got to go. That's it. That's it. I've enough of the decision making, enough of putting up with this or putting up with that. Let's go. Let's make a plan. Let's start taking the first step. The plan will adjust as we go. Here we go. And so anything more to add to that? No,
• 22:20
  Kelly Hatfield: I think I other than to validate what you just said, which is to and to circle back on something you said earlier, which is that analysis paralysis, where it's like, you don't have to have every step mapped out, you know, you can have a vision for what you want, you know, in the future, and then it's like, okay, well, what's the first step? Because I guarantee you, you know that the path to get there, it is not a straight line, you know. And so just the first step, all you need to know is the next step is. The next step is the because each step informs each action you take, provides data, information, helps direct the next step, you know. And so just be careful about feeling like you have to know, you know what the entire plan is going to be. Because I'll tell you, like, with business number one, I mapped everything out. I had a business plan. This was how it's going to be. And new. That's not right. We had to totally switch things up based on what was happening in the economy, what was, you know, and things looked a lot different and and so also too. Then the advice would be, you know, if you do have that vision, vision is great, you know, but also to to not be married to that like to be have some flexibility, and let each one of those steps inform the next
• 23:33
  John Mitchell: So, yeah, and that's a, that's a great point. It's like, in our methodology, you're defining, here's my business plan, my strategy for success, my two or three things that move the needle where I want to be in three years from now, the milestones to get there in the linchpin issue. So you're defining all that, and so you're articulating, here's what I want, where I want to be three years from now. Here's the milestones to get there, and off you go, Well, when you're feeding that to yourself every day, boy, it iterates. It does not stay the same. And that's the power of it. You're creating a an iteration, an iteration process that is maybe 20 times faster than people that are just weighing in life, that are not feeding that to themselves every day. And again, like we said, Just figure out the next step. But, but I think the over reaching thing I want to convey to people is, whether you're 30 or 50, you got to be playing into your strength, which, if you're playing into your strength, you're going to enjoy it. So the you got to enjoy this, this journey of life. So play into your strength, and don't get fooled by what you could do. What you should do, is what your strength is and and get paid for it. I mean, if you're going to spend 40 hours a week, you. Might as well get paid a lot of money instead of a little money. And so I don't know that's that's our wisdom this week. So until next week, we'll see you.