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The Power of Your Words In The Workplace - Episode 21 · Profit and Principle

0:00
SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about the best piece of feedback you ever received.
0:05
SPEAKER_00: Not a performance review, but a specific thing someone said to you at the right moment that changed how you saw yourself or your work.
0:14
SPEAKER_00: Something that landed.
0:17
SPEAKER_00: Now think about the worst.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: Something someone said to you, someone like a manager, a colleague or a client.
0:26
SPEAKER_00: Something that stuck with you longer than it should have.
0:30
SPEAKER_00: Something that you can still hear.
0:33
SPEAKER_00: Most of us don't have to think hard for either one of those.
0:37
SPEAKER_00: And here's what's remarkable.
0:39
SPEAKER_00: In both cases, they're just words.
0:42
SPEAKER_00: Sound arranged in a particular order.
0:45
SPEAKER_00: Nothing material changed in the moment they were spoken.
0:49
SPEAKER_00: But something changed in you.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: That gap between the apparent insignificance of words and their actual weight is what Solomon was pointing at when he wrote one of the most striking lines in the book of Proverbs.
1:03
SPEAKER_00: Death and life are in the power of the tongue.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: Not a metaphor, a literal claim about the stakes of ordinary conversation.
1:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm Daryl, and this is Prophet and Principle.
1:17
SPEAKER_00: We are opening the communication block of Podcast Today, five episodes on the thing experienced leaders often underestimate.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: Not strategy, not finance, and not even structure.
1:31
SPEAKER_00: It's the words you choose.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is about what Scripture says your words are actually doing in the workplace and how to use them with the intentionality they deserve.
1:43
SPEAKER_00: You'll walk away with a clear picture of what's happening when you speak as a leader, what three Bible passages say about your responsibility in that space, and two specific practices to carry into this week.
1:57
SPEAKER_00: Let me describe what communication failure actually costs a business because I think we undercount it.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: The obvious version is the blowup, the leader who loses their temper in a meeting, that careless comment that gets repeated, that performance review that goes sideways and ends up in an HR file.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: Those are visible.
2:20
SPEAKER_00: They are also relatively rare.
2:23
SPEAKER_00: The more common version is quieter and more corrosive.
2:27
SPEAKER_00: It's the manager whose default register is criticism.
2:31
SPEAKER_00: The one who constantly notices what's wrong and rarely names what's right.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: Individually, no single comment is terrible.
2:40
SPEAKER_00: Cumulatively, however, over weeks and months, that communication pattern does something predictable to the people on the receiving end.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: They stop bringing their full effort.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: They simply do what's required.
2:54
SPEAKER_00: They manage down.
2:57
SPEAKER_00: They stop volunteering the extra idea, the honest observation, and the creative risk.
3:03
SPEAKER_00: Because the environment they've been trained by tells them it's not worth it.
3:08
SPEAKER_00: Leaders who communicate this way rarely understand why their teams are mediocre.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: They attribute it to the caliber of people rather than the caliber of the climate they've created with their words.
3:21
SPEAKER_00: The inverse is equally real and equally powerful.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: Most experienced leaders can name a manager, maybe just one, who said exactly the right thing at the right moment.
3:34
SPEAKER_00: The one who saw something in them before they saw it in themselves.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: The one who used their words to call out capacity rather than to catalog failure.
3:45
SPEAKER_00: Those moments are not random.
3:47
SPEAKER_00: They are the product of a specific kind of intentionality about what words do and what they're for.
3:55
SPEAKER_00: Research on team performance consistently shows that the ratio of positive to critical communication in high performing teams runs roughly five to one.
4:05
SPEAKER_00: That's not sentimentality, it's the baseline environment that allows people to hear and act on critical feedback without shutting down.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: Leaders who don't manage that ratio, who think they're being honest when you're actually just being negative?
4:21
SPEAKER_00: Well, they're spending a resource they haven't noticed they're burning.
4:26
SPEAKER_00: Words build things and words tear things down.
4:30
SPEAKER_00: Solomon knew this.
4:32
SPEAKER_00: So does anyone who's managed people long enough to watch it happen.
4:37
SPEAKER_00: So let's look at this passage in Proverbs.
4:39
SPEAKER_00: You'll find it in Proverbs chapter 18, verse 21.
4:43
SPEAKER_00: And Solomon writes this Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
4:51
SPEAKER_00: Solomon is not being poetic.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: He's making a claim about causality, the tongue, what you say, how you say it, when you choose to speak, and when you choose to say silent, well the tongue produces outcomes, real outcomes.
5:08
SPEAKER_00: The fruit imagery at the end of the verse makes that explicit.
5:12
SPEAKER_00: Whatever you do with your words, you will eat the results.
5:16
SPEAKER_00: The Hebrew word translated power here is the same word for hand.
5:22
SPEAKER_00: Death and life are in the hand of the tongue.
5:26
SPEAKER_00: This is the language of agency.
5:29
SPEAKER_00: It's of a tool being wielded with force.
5:32
SPEAKER_00: Solomon is saying that your tongue is not a passive instrument that merely expresses what you're already thinking.
5:38
SPEAKER_00: It's an active force that produces outcomes in the people and relationships and culture that it touches.
5:45
SPEAKER_00: For the business leader, this is not abstract theology.
5:49
SPEAKER_00: You have people reporting to you whose trajectory, whose confidence, development, willingness to take risks, the sense of what they're capable of.
5:59
SPEAKER_00: All those are being shaped right now by the words you choose in ordinary conversations.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: The question is not whether the words are doing something.
6:08
SPEAKER_00: Trust me, they are.
6:10
SPEAKER_00: The question is whether you are being intentional about what they are doing.
6:15
SPEAKER_00: Stay with me in the book of Proverbs and let's look at Proverbs chapter 15, verse 1.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: Solomon writes this: a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: This is one of Solomon's most observed and least practiced proverbs.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: Most Christians know it, but almost no one applies it in the moment when it matters most, because the moment when it most matters is precisely the moment when the natural impulse runs in the opposite direction.
6:48
SPEAKER_00: The Hebrew word for a soft answer, it literally means to be tender and gentle.
6:58
SPEAKER_00: It's not agreement when disagreement is warranted, but it's delivered with a quality that takes the heat out of the room rather than adding to it.
7:09
SPEAKER_00: So the contrast to this is a painful word.
7:12
SPEAKER_00: It's a word that cuts and lands hard.
7:15
SPEAKER_00: What Solomon is describing is not a communication style preference.
7:20
SPEAKER_00: It's cause and effect.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: The soft answer turns away wrath.
7:24
SPEAKER_00: It actively redirects the energy of a conflict.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: The harsh word, on the other hand, stirs up anger.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: It generates new conflict out of existing tension.
7:35
SPEAKER_00: As a leader, you are choosing one of those outcomes every time a difficult conversation begins.
7:41
SPEAKER_00: The content of your response matters.
7:44
SPEAKER_00: The register of your response matters just as much.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: Think about the last difficult conversation you had with the director port, a client, or a peer.
7:55
SPEAKER_00: What was the register of your response?
7:58
SPEAKER_00: Not what you said, but how you said it, whether you brought the heat or took it out.
8:05
SPEAKER_00: Solomon says that choice had consequences you can trace.
8:10
SPEAKER_00: Now turn with me to the book of Ephesians, we're going to be in Ephesians chapter four, verse 29, and Paul writes this Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as good for the building up as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
8:28
SPEAKER_00: Paul is writing to a community of people who have to live and work together.
8:33
SPEAKER_00: His instruction on speech is one of the most specific in the New Testament.
8:38
SPEAKER_00: And he gives three criteria.
8:48
SPEAKER_00: The Greek word translated corrupting is the same word used for rotten fruit.
8:54
SPEAKER_00: Paul is not describing profanity or explicit wrongdoing.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: He's describing speech that has gone bad.
9:02
SPEAKER_00: Speech that is no longer producing anything useful.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: It has decayed in its purpose.
9:08
SPEAKER_00: Complaints that don't lead anywhere is what he's talking about.
9:13
SPEAKER_00: Criticism that tears down without constructing anything in its place.
9:18
SPEAKER_00: And even workplace negativity that's become a habit rather than a response to something specific.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: The positive standard Paul sets is demanding.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: Every word should be good for building up.
9:32
SPEAKER_00: This is the word for construction, for erecting something that wasn't there before.
9:37
SPEAKER_00: And it should give grace to those who hear.
9:40
SPEAKER_00: It's the same word used for the grace of God.
9:43
SPEAKER_00: Paul is saying that speech in the community of faith should be an instrument of grace giving.
9:48
SPEAKER_00: Now not every word is a sermon, but every word should be constructive, not corrosive.
9:54
SPEAKER_00: It should leave the person who heard it in a better position than where they were before.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: That's a high standard.
10:01
SPEAKER_00: It's also completely specific and actionable.
10:04
SPEAKER_00: Before you speak, whether it's in a meeting or a review, or maybe even in just an email, Paul's three criteria are a filter.
10:14
SPEAKER_00: Is this building something?
10:15
SPEAKER_00: Does it fit the moment?
10:17
SPEAKER_00: And will the person who hears it be better for having heard it?
10:22
SPEAKER_00: I want to give you a contrast between two leaders responding to the same situation.
10:27
SPEAKER_00: A project has come in late.
10:29
SPEAKER_00: The client is unhappy.
10:31
SPEAKER_00: The team lead who is responsible is standing in your office.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: The first leader doesn't raise his voice.
10:37
SPEAKER_00: He's not that kind of person.
10:39
SPEAKER_00: But the words he chooses are precise in a particular way.
10:43
SPEAKER_00: He says something like this, this isn't the first time.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: I'm not sure what I need to do to make the urgency of the client commitments clear.
10:52
SPEAKER_00: I'm going to need you to tell me what happened.
10:56
SPEAKER_00: Now the team lead explains, the leader listens, but the posture of the conversation has already been set.
11:03
SPEAKER_00: The team lead leaves the room having heard the subtext clearly.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: You are the problem.
11:09
SPEAKER_00: She spends the next two weeks managing her anxiety about the next conversation with this leader.
11:15
SPEAKER_00: She does not bring him the early warning signs of the next project that is starting to slip because she doesn't want to be in the room again.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: Now the second leader approaches it differently.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: The second leader says, Tell me what happened.
11:29
SPEAKER_00: I want to understand the full picture before we figure out what comes next.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: Same situation, same late project, same unhappy client.
11:40
SPEAKER_00: But the words create a different room.
11:42
SPEAKER_00: The team lead tells him everything, including the parts she hadn't planned to mention.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: She tells him about the resource constraint that was the real root cause.
11:52
SPEAKER_00: And they solve it together.
11:54
SPEAKER_00: Two weeks later she flags the next problem early because she's learned what this leader's words have consistently told her.
12:02
SPEAKER_00: This is a safe place to tell the truth.
12:05
SPEAKER_00: So we have two leaders with the same facts but getting completely different outcomes, and they were produced entirely by the words chosen in one conversation.
12:15
SPEAKER_00: Death and life, Solomon says, and he wasn't overstating it.
12:20
SPEAKER_00: So how do we apply this?
12:22
SPEAKER_00: First of all, run the Ephesians 429 filter on your highest stakes communication this week.
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Identify the one conversation, email, or meeting this week where your words will carry the most weight.
12:36
SPEAKER_00: It might be in a performance review or a client negotiation.
12:41
SPEAKER_00: Perhaps it's an all-hands meeting or a one-on-one with someone who's struggling.
12:46
SPEAKER_00: Before you walk in or hit send, run Paul's three criteria explicitly.
12:52
SPEAKER_00: Is what I'm about to say building something?
12:56
SPEAKER_00: Does it fit the moment and this person?
12:59
SPEAKER_00: Will the person who hears it be better for having heard it?
13:03
SPEAKER_00: These aren't rhetorical questions.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: Write down your answers.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: If any of the three answers is no, revise before you deliver.
13:13
SPEAKER_00: This is not about softening truth.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: Paul didn't say to withhold hard things.
13:19
SPEAKER_00: He said to deliver them in a way that constructs rather than corrodes.
13:24
SPEAKER_00: That's a discipline, and it begins before you open your mouth.
13:29
SPEAKER_00: Here's the next step.
13:30
SPEAKER_00: Name one person on your team and say something specific to them this week.
13:36
SPEAKER_00: Not general encouragement, not something like, hey, great job this quarter, but something specific.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: A decision they made, a way they handled a difficult moment, or maybe even a skill you watch them develop.
13:50
SPEAKER_00: Specific words carry weight that general words don't.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: The team lead who hears, I notice how you handle the client call on Tuesday.
13:59
SPEAKER_00: The way you redirected the conversation without escalating it was exactly right.
14:04
SPEAKER_00: Now that team lead has received something that will last.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: The team lead who hears, you're doing great, has received noise.
14:13
SPEAKER_00: Proverbs 1821 says, those who love the tongue will eat its fruits.
14:19
SPEAKER_00: This week, plant something specific in someone who works for you.
14:23
SPEAKER_00: A word that names what you actually see in them.
14:27
SPEAKER_00: This is one of the highest leveraged things a leader can do, and it costs nothing but attention and intention.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: I want to close with something honest.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: Most leaders I know are not careless with the words because they don't care.
14:42
SPEAKER_00: They're careless because they're moving fast, managing a lot, and communication feels like the soft thing, the thing you get to when the urgent things are handled.
14:53
SPEAKER_00: What these three passages are telling you is that communication is not the soft thing.
14:58
SPEAKER_00: It's the primary thing.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: It is the medium through which your leadership actually happens.
15:04
SPEAKER_00: Everything else, things like your strategy, your vision, your values, your culture, they reach people through your words.
15:14
SPEAKER_00: There is no other channel.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: The leader who takes that seriously and begins to move intentionally in the space, the one who runs the filter before the hard conversation, the one who names what they see in people with specificity, that leader is not doing a communication exercise.
15:32
SPEAKER_00: They are building something.
15:34
SPEAKER_00: And the people on their team will feel it even before they can name what changed.
15:38
SPEAKER_00: Let me pray for you.
15:41
SPEAKER_00: Father, you spoke the world into existence.
15:44
SPEAKER_00: You know better than we do what words are capable of.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: I pray for every leader listening right now who carries words into the workplace every day, into meetings, into reviews, into those small moments that seem inconsequential but aren't.
16:02
SPEAKER_00: Give them the wisdom to slow down enough to choose.
16:06
SPEAKER_00: Give them the discipline to run the filter before the difficult conversation, and give them the courage to speak specifically into the people in their care, to name what they see, to call out what's there, to use the extraordinary tool of language in the way you intended it, to build.
16:26
SPEAKER_00: In Jesus' name we pray.
16:28
SPEAKER_00: Amen.
16:30
SPEAKER_00: Well, I thank you for listening to this episode of Prophet and Principle.
16:33
SPEAKER_00: If you haven't already done so, please go to our website, profitandprinciple.com.
16:37
SPEAKER_00: There you'll find a number of different resources.
16:40
SPEAKER_00: First of all, you can listen to this podcast again there.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: Also, you can subscribe to our weekly newsletter.
16:46
SPEAKER_00: It goes out every Monday and touches a little more on this particular subject.
16:50
SPEAKER_00: You can also read the blog, which unpacks this even further.
16:54
SPEAKER_00: And then you can also download a one-page PDF resource.
16:58
SPEAKER_00: It's absolutely free.
16:59
SPEAKER_00: And you can use that for your personal study or in a small group study as well with other Christian business leaders.
17:05
SPEAKER_00: So I hope you find the resources helpful.
17:07
SPEAKER_00: And finally, I would appreciate if you would go on and leave us a rating and review wherever you listen to podcasts.
17:13
SPEAKER_00: It would help us get the word out to others.
17:15
SPEAKER_00: And if you would share it, if you find value in this, that would be great too.
17:19
SPEAKER_00: May the Lord bless you and hope you have a great week.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: And hopefully you'll be back with us next week for another episode of Profit and Principle.