Latest / Karl and Crew / First Time Dad Advice with John Fuller; Respect and Chivalry with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs; and Fire to Share the Gospel with Barry Mequiar

Transcript

First Time Dad Advice with John Fuller; Respect and Chivalry with Dr. Emerson Eggerichs; and Fire to Share the Gospel with Barry Mequiar · Karl and Crew

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  S1: Broadcasting from Chicago, across North America and beyond. It's Carl
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  S1: and crew.
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  S2: Come as you are an experienced guide, overcome what seems
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  S2: impossible and live as you never imagined.
• 0:15
  S1: Start your morning with a laugh.
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  S2: Cold spaghetti is great.
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  S3: Okay, okay, I disagree. I guess not. No, certainly it
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  S3: is not. No. Okay. Well, man, I'm going back.
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  S2: To my bachelor days. I guess I thought cold spaghetti
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  S2: was universally loved.
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  S4: I've never been known for, like, high levels of coordination.
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  S4: That's just. It feels like.
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  S2: I've never been known for high levels of coordination.
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  S1: Delivering the truth daily.
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  S4: If it were possible to have every worldly gain available
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  S4: and you're forfeiting your soul. There's no amount of gain
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  S4: that would make it worth it.
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  S5: Our own way never ever works. Because it's apart from
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  S5: the life source, which is God.
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  S6: For me, growing up, love was always conditional and can
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  S6: be taken from you. Christ's love can't. And he went
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  S6: to the cross with my mind and my heart that night.
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  S1: Now from the call of Hope Studios, this is Carl
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  S1: and crew.
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  S2: All right, let's make biblical biblical chivalry really practical here.
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  S2: Let's make biblical chivalry really practical. And we can do this.
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  S2: Paul did it. Jesus did it. We can do it.
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  S2: Here we go. This is how I'm going to do it. Jonathan,
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  S2: if you're cold.
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  S3: Mhm.
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  S2: What do you do?
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  S5: Uh, I usually try to grab a jacket if I'm
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  S5: outside already. I guess I grin and bear it.
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  S2: Okay, But you try to get a jacket.
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  S3: Get a.
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  S2: Jacket or something to warm you or something.
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  S5: Right? Absolutely.
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  S2: If you're hungry, what do you do, Jonathan?
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  S5: I go to the fridge and I make a sandwich.
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  S2: Okay. If you're thirsty, what do you do, Jonathan?
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  S5: I get some water.
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  S2: You get some water.
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  S5: A swig of water.
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  S2: If you've got a question that you need answered, what
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  S2: do you do, Jonathan?
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  S5: I usually find someone I can ask, uh. Or AI?
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  S4: Fair.
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  S6: That's honest. Right?
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  S2: Okay, here's here's the point. See how practical this is?
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  S2: Look at look at this. This is what Paul says
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  S2: in Ephesians five. So he says, husbands, love your wives
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  S2: as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
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  S2: that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the
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  S2: washing of water with the word, so that he might
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  S2: present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle,
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  S2: or any such thing, that she might be holy and
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  S2: without blemish. Speaking of the church right there. Right. Paul's
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  S2: just laying it out. This is how this is how
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  S2: it works. In the same way, husbands should love their
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  S2: wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife
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  S2: loves himself. Verse 29 of Ephesians five for no one
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  S2: ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it,
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  S2: just as Christ does the church. Okay. How practical is this, guys?
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  S4: So I guess you could fill in Jonathan's bride for
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  S4: all of the questions that you just asked.
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  S3: Yes.
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  S2: If she's hungry.
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  S5: Go get her something to eat.
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  S2: Feed her.
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  S5: Yep.
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  S2: If she's thirsty, get her a glass of water.
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  S5: That's right.
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  S2: If she is cold.
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  S5: Get her a blanket or a coat.
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  S2: Yes, but it goes deeper than that. If she has
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  S2: something on her heart.
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  S5: Listen.
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  S3: Listen.
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  S2: Oh, good. You're doing good, Jonathan. You're doing good. You
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  S2: didn't even need Allie's help there. Nope. Um, if if
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  S2: she is crying.
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  S5: Ask her what's wrong?
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  S2: Wow. You're you're knocking this out of the park? Jonathan.
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  S2: Why was Paul so simplistic with illustrating this? Why? Allie?
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  S4: Well, because the things that Jonathan asked after, like the
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  S4: third question, it was so obvious. It was like, okay,
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  S4: where is this going? It's very intuitive. The things that
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  S4: you do to take care of your own body, if
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  S4: you're thirsty, you get a drink of water. And I
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  S4: think in the same way, it should be as intuitive
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  S4: to care for, to serve your bride.
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  S2: Yeah. And what's really cool about Paul's words are if
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  S2: you just read it and then you, you just go practice, okay?
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  S2: And I'll read it again for. No one ever hated
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  S2: his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes. Cherishes it just
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  S2: as Christ does the church. Being a chivalrous, godly, biblical
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  S2: man is as practical as responding to the needs of
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  S2: our bride in any given moment. Yeah.
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  S3: Boom.
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  S5: It's that simple. It's that simple. And the response is great.
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  S5: I had an opportunity a couple nights ago. We were
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  S5: talking about because we have a a little daughter on
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  S5: the way, a second child. And, and my, we were
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  S5: kind of coming up with a little bit of a
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  S5: game plan. Who's going to take care of what and
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  S5: things like that. And she said, what do you need
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  S5: after I give birth? And I said, well, I'm not
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  S5: really a consideration right now. It was like, you need
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  S5: to be the one taken care of and our kids
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  S5: need to be the ones taken care of. I was like,
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  S5: don't worry about me. And she started crying and she
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  S5: was like, I just didn't even think of that. She said,
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  S5: thank you so much. And I don't say that to
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  S5: be like, look at Jonathan. He's a great guy. No,
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  S5: I say that to say it's really simple.
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  S2: It's low hanging fruit.
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  S5: Just low hanging fruit. But it meant so much to
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  S5: her that that there was just going to be a
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  S5: season where she gets to be taken care of. And,
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  S5: and I've got what I can do to help her. And,
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  S5: and it was simple, but it made all the world
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  S5: of difference. And I think that we overcomplicate things sometimes
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  S5: to say, oh, this is, you know, this is I'm
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  S5: gonna have to work forever. And I'm never going to
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  S5: be able to sit down again if I have to
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  S5: be a chivalrous man. And it's like, no, just do
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  S5: a thing here and there and and love your wife
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  S5: and let her know that you're thinking about her and
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  S5: that you care for her. And it doesn't have to
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  S5: be more than that every single day. And she's gonna
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  S5: love it.
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  S4: Can I throw in a curveball just because.
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  S3: Okay. Yeah.
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  S4: And this is not I'm not this is not in
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  S4: response to Jonathan's statement. This is simply a curveball that
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  S4: I'm thinking of. Is it possible for women to demand
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  S4: too much?
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  S2: HMM.
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  S5: It's a good question.
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  S2: Okay. I'm I'm I'm going to tackle that one. I
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  S2: think of I think a man can feel sometimes like
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  S2: there's too much desired here. I, my, my firm biblical
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  S2: conviction is if you're feeling like there is something being
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  S2: asked of you over here that feels like too much,
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  S2: it's probably the result of something being unattended over here. Mhm.
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  S2: That was never dealt with.
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  S4: Okay. Give me a, for example.
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  S2: Oh, boy. Um. Well, okay. I'll be vulnerable here. There
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  S2: there have been times when, um, I felt like, boy, um,
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  S2: maybe the needs of my bride in a season feel
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  S2: like a lot, but I've, I've found out without getting into.
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  S2: Nothing's coming to mind right now except general being married
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  S2: for 39 years as of here. Uh, what, a couple
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  S2: of weeks a week ago, as in hold it last Saturday. Yeah.
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  S2: So 39 years got 40 coming up. Hard to believe,
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  S2: by the way, but I've, I've found let me gather,
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  S2: gather my heart here. I've found like, at times when
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  S2: I feel like, oh boy, being a husband is really hard.
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  S2: Or there might be an ask that feels like too much.
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  S2: If you whittle it down, it's. There's. There's usually it's
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  S2: a counseling term. The presenting issue isn't often the issue.
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  S3: Sure.
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  S2: And I found that there's a place where she needs
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  S2: to be heard or. And it's usually that there's a
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  S2: concern of a heart that my bride needs her husband
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  S2: to hear her to the bottom. Mhm. That when that
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  S2: gets resolved, all this other stuff just fades away. That's
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  S2: my experience. Yeah, that's that's my experience. And to be
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  S2: candid with you, my bride asks for so little to
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  S2: things in life.
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  S4: Sure. And I asked that question because I do think
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  S4: sometimes men feel like, wow, like, is she supposed to
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  S4: do anything for me? Like I'm gonna like, we had a,
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  S4: we had someone who texted yesterday and they had a
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  S4: list of things that, that they thought a chivalrous man
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  S4: should be doing. And it was pretty extensive. I mean,
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  S4: it was, it was a really long list. And you go, okay,
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  S4: like I'm for it. But to men feel to men
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  S4: ever feel like this is this is kind of a
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  S4: lot like what we're what what you don't want to say?
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  S4: What about me? You know, my I've got two kids.
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  S4: My daughter's almost 17, my son's 13. And she had
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  S4: a laundry that she was going to carry down the stairs.
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  S4: And so she says to her brother, who is now
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  S4: pastor in height and is bigger and stronger, she goes,
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  S4: why don't you be a strong man of God and
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  S4: carry this load of laundry down the stairs for me?
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  S4: And he said, without missing a beat, why don't you
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  S4: be a strong Proverbs 31 woman and carry it yourself?
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  S3: Oh my.
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  S2: Goodness.
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  S4: Well, okay.
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  S3: Oh, wow. Uh oh.
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  S4: And so it was like this standoff of both of
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  S4: them calling each other to the high ground of feminine
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  S4: or masculine strength. And I thought, I don't know who
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  S4: wins here. Do men ever feel like, uh, I mean you?
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  S4: Proverbs 31 woman. I think you got it.
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  S5: You know.
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  S3: A.
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  S2: Hilarious comment, by.
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  S3: The way.
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  S5: I think there's a because I think Carl's right. I,
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  S5: I think that there is a sense of, yes, you're
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  S5: allowed to like men aren't shouldn't be the only one
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  S5: in the relationship listening. You should also speak your heart and,
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  S5: and your wife or your spouse should listen to. You
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  S5: should listen to each other. Husbands, listen to your wives.
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  S5: Wives listen to your husbands. Like that's. I think that
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  S5: is understandable as well. I've had moments where, you know,
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  S5: I've been really burnt out after a day and my
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  S5: wife asked for something. And I looked over at her
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  S5: and I said, you know what? Right now I'm feeling
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  S5: so physically drained. I'm so tired. Is it okay that
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  S5: that I don't do this right now? And she's like, yeah, absolutely.
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  S5: Is there anything else you need? Like, I think it's
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  S5: okay to say like, there are moments where you may
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  S5: need something and it's okay to ask for what you need.
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  S5: But I think as a general sense, like take care
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  S5: of your wives and do some things for her. Show
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  S5: her that you love her. I think you should always
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  S5: be doing something every day that shows her that you
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  S5: love her.
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  S2: Yeah, there are exceptions to this rule that I'm going
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  S2: to give you because there are. Look, is it possible
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  S2: that there is a wife who is so in the
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  S2: ditch spiritually from some of her own choices that are
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  S2: just not healthy or family of origin issues or styles
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  S2: of relating that are really not healthy?
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  S3: Sure. For everybody.
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  S2: Absolutely. And we had a guest earlier this week. I
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  S2: forget who it was who said, yeah, there's exceptions. It
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  S2: was I forget who it was, but I digress. Here's
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  S2: the point. I am absolutely convinced that Scripture indicates what
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  S2: was the look. The biggest problem for Adam is that
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  S2: passivity got him into a blame game and it was
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  S2: very costly. And in one fell swoop, one sentence he says,
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  S2: this woman you gave me. So what do we find?
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  S2: Post garden experience. There's a call to this restoration within
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  S2: a broken and fallen world, and this is my contention.
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  S2: I believe it's solidly biblical. You can look at Ephesians
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  S2: 522 and go, wives, submit to your own husbands as
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  S2: to the Lord. But I think men, when we. Because
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  S2: submission as to the Lord is one thing, but a
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  S2: husband who loves his wife as Christ loved the church.
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  S2: I think a man that initiates in that way which
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  S2: is a high standard, and we can't hit it perfectly.
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  S2: But a man that initiates in that way is going
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  S2: to have a response from a woman that will blow
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  S2: your mind. I really believe that for now. Are there exceptions? Yes.
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  S2: Because I get some in yelling at the radio going,
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  S2: you don't know. Well, all I'm going to say is this.
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  S2: Check your own heart, men. And if you're if you're
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  S2: not genuinely loving your wife as Christ loved the church,
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  S2: maybe you need to slow the roll. And I mean,
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  S2: ask that of yourself. And it's. And it's way more
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  S2: than I go to work. I put bread on the table. I,
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  S2: you know, I do this, I do that. No. Has
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  S2: her heart been heard to the bottom? Does she feel
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  S2: like she's got a man who's got her back on
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  S2: some issues? Maybe with kids. When, when you really and
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  S2: and the list of things that you could really let
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  S2: the Lord search your heart on are myriad. But I
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  S2: think my contention is you get a man that loves
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  S2: his wife as Christ loved the church. It will uncork
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  S2: a woman to support, respect, love and courage. I really
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  S2: believe that. That's my contention. Especially a Godward woman is
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  S2: a man solely responsible for the spiritual trajectory of his wife. No.
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  S2: But is he a massive contributor to helping her feel
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  S2: secure and and building a context where she can grow
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  S2: like a beautiful flower? Yeah. A man is responsible for that.
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  S1: You're listening to Curl and Crew on Moody Radio.
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  S2: Ephesians five, and every other text we find about a
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  S2: man shall leave his father and mother cleave to his wife,
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  S2: and the two shall become one flesh. And the call
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  S2: on the man is love. Your wife, as Christ loved
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  S2: the church and my bold conviction is when men initiate
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  S2: toward their wives in a Christ sacrificing manner. Nourishing, caring
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  S2: is another word in here. Let me grab it. Cherishing. Okay.
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  S2: Don't want to lose that one. Cherishing. I mean, man,
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  S2: let me talk to you for a moment. We're good hunters.
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  S2: We started dating that girl that you're married to. Man.
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  S2: You can put on the dog. You can put on
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  S2: the dog.
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  S4: Is that an.
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  S3: Expression?
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  S2: Yeah, well, it means this. You can flat because men.
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  S2: Men are great whether you have any hunting experience or not. Men,
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  S2: listen to me. You're good hunters. Even the quiet dudes,
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  S2: they know how to angle in there. It's like. Wow.
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  S2: That is pleasing to my eyes. I've got to get
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  S2: alongside that little girl. And that is woof. Yes siree Bob,
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  S2: that is God's will for my life. And what a
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  S2: man does is even the quietest, most uncreative dudes will
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  S2: come up with creative ideas to get near that woman,
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  S2: to have a conversation with that woman and all that.
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  S2: But what's amazing is that that cherishing that that the
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  S2: reason Paul says continue to nourish and cherish this is
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  S2: how a man moves toward a woman, is because he
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  S2: knew we were good hunters. And we sometimes think, you know,
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  S2: it's the old line, you know, honey, do you love me?
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  S2: Asks her husband. Yeah, I told you 25 years ago,
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  S2: I love you. If anything would have changed, I would have.
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  S2: I'll tell you, you know, I mean, that's a funny thing, but.
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  S3: Right.
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  S2: But that can often be very Characteristic of, of, of
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  S2: a man. And because we know how to go get them,
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  S2: we're good hunters. But boy, when we bring them home,
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  S2: it's not like a deer over the shoulders here, guys.
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  S2: It's like we got to care for. These are living
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  S2: and breathing beings of God. These women are. And and
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  S2: it requires intentionality and ongoing creativity.
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  S5: Yeah.
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  S2: Ongoing.
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  S3: Say the same.
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  S5: Restaurant for 30 years.
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  S3: What's that?
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  S5: Only going to the same restaurant for 30 years ain't
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  S5: gonna cut it.
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  S2: I mean.
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  S5: You can have that restaurant in there. It can't be
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  S5: the only thing you go and do.
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  S3: Yeah.
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  S2: I mean, yeah, and it's it's just there is a,
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  S2: there's a, there's a creative intentionality. And the word is intentionality.
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  S2: Because by the way, the model here is, as Jesus
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  S2: loved the church, was he intentional toward the church?
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  S4: Absolutely.
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  S2: Oh my goodness. Was he sacrificial toward the church? Oh
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  S2: my goodness. I mean, he laid down his life and
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  S2: at Pentecost, everything came together. And these are guys are going,
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  S2: oh my goodness, he poured himself out for us. We're
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  S2: going to pour ourselves out for him. I, I really
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  S2: believe men are initiators. Women are responders. And is it 100%
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  S2: true that a woman will always respond? No. I want
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  S2: to say it again. Are some women so derailed with
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  S2: substitute gods and crazy junk or whatever that they can't
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  S2: respond rightly even to the greatest initiating man? There are
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  S2: occasions where that is true, but I think the lion's share.
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  S2: If you're married to a woman who's been transformed by
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  S2: the blood of Jesus and she loves Jesus, you initiate
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  S2: men toward that woman in a chivalrous way. Katie, bar
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  S2: the door. I'm telling you, she's going to bloom like
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  S2: a flower man in the spring. I absolute you can't
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  S2: get me off of that one. Sorry. I've lived it.
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  S4: And you've got agreement.
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  S3: We've got some.
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  S4: Feedback coming in 0393. Texted in. It says a man
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  S4: is the head of his household, has so much influence.
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  S4: And should he choose to wield that influence in a
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  S4: godly way, he will have a wife that is a
• 19:53
  S4: true blessing to him and experience a love and respect
• 19:56
  S4: he never thought possible. And then he goes on to
• 19:59
  S4: talk about what happens when you wield that selfishly and
• 20:03
  S4: the impact negatively that that can have on a bride. So,
• 20:05
  S4: so some agreement there. What else is coming in? Another
• 20:09
  S4: person just mentioned that sometimes this can get confusing when
• 20:14
  S4: both people are working outside the home.
• 20:18
  S3: Oh, that's a.
• 20:19
  S2: That's a great one.
• 20:20
  S3: Ali.
• 20:20
  S4: Yeah. And it's, you know, and I do think that
• 20:22
  S4: sometimes the conversations can default to when the husband comes
• 20:27
  S4: home after a long days, Days work with wives. You
• 20:31
  S4: need to. And I've heard that a lot for many,
• 20:34
  S4: many years and thought the same thing. Well, a lot.
• 20:37
  S4: The wife might not even be. She might be the
• 20:39
  S4: last one coming home. And so I do think that
• 20:41
  S4: there's sometimes some stereotypes that we default to that can
• 20:44
  S4: muddy the waters a little bit.
• 20:46
  S2: Yeah. And I mean, this gets into a whole Pandora's box.
• 20:49
  S3: Sure, sure.
• 20:50
  S2: Of a provider versus nurture and all that. I do believe, um,
• 20:56
  S2: a man needs to have a level of provision. And
• 21:01
  S2: provision is not just monetary. This is where we get
• 21:05
  S2: a little wonky because we live in a culture today where,
• 21:09
  S2: I mean, we live in Chicagoland. My goodness, cost of
• 21:14
  S2: living does do some homes just to make things meet
• 21:21
  S2: in the middle financially. Do does it sometimes put a
• 21:25
  S2: woman out into the marketplace? Absolutely. But that doesn't preclude
• 21:31
  S2: a man's need and calling to still love his wife
• 21:36
  S2: as Christ loved the church.
• 21:37
  S4: Sure. And. 2101 A gentleman texted in the times when
• 21:41
  S4: it when it bothered me. Back to our original conversation.
• 21:44
  S4: We were talking about how this hits you. He says,
• 21:47
  S4: when I didn't feel appreciated, there was. When there's no
• 21:49
  S4: thank you or anything. Um, it's like it's demanded of you.
• 21:53
  S4: And then he gave an example of a time when,
• 21:55
  S4: you know, he kind of went out of his way
• 21:56
  S4: to both, uh, do something with his son, but also
• 21:59
  S4: the grass needed to be mowed. And so at great effort,
• 22:02
  S4: he did both. And sometimes it can feel like those,
• 22:05
  S4: you know, those sacrifices are, are overlooked. So I do
• 22:08
  S4: think the thank you and the appreciation goes a long
• 22:11
  S4: way when you're, when you're and not taking for granted
• 22:15
  S4: that your spouse is. Well, of course, my husband's going
• 22:18
  S4: to serve me because that's what he's called to do. Ladies,
• 22:21
  S4: we definitely, I think, can do a better job of showing, uh,
• 22:24
  S4: our care and An appreciation. And not just that this
• 22:28
  S4: is a given or an expectation.
• 22:29
  S2: Yeah. What what my bride and I would say right
• 22:32
  S2: along those lines is, uh, what a, what a great
• 22:37
  S2: woman can do is when you see a man taking
• 22:42
  S2: any hint of initiative to love you as Christ loved
• 22:44
  S2: the church, cheer for it. Look at it and cheer
• 22:48
  S2: for it. And don't in your mind go. Well, it's
• 22:51
  S2: about time.
• 22:52
  S4: Yeah.
• 22:53
  S2: Yeah. Good discussion. Boy, we got after it here.
• 22:58
  S3: Yeah, we went.
• 22:58
  S4: A little long.
• 22:59
  S3: That's okay. We did.
• 23:00
  S4: Yeah. That's okay.
• 23:01
  S3: Hang on.
• 23:03
  S1: Helping you take the next step in your walk with Jesus.
• 23:06
  S2: God longs for us today to seek him and ask
• 23:10
  S2: him to move in ways that we never could.
• 23:13
  S1: You're listening to Carl and crew.
• 23:16
  S2: Some of you may have a lot of different emotions
• 23:18
  S2: going off right now, but I think I want to
• 23:22
  S2: speak to you men still. I'm going to go after this.
• 23:24
  S2: I'm going to hit it hard here, man. I want
• 23:26
  S2: you to hear my heart right now. A lot of
• 23:30
  S2: us look at our wife's actions toward us. This is
• 23:35
  S2: what I want to tell you. Biblical men, Godward men
• 23:41
  S2: asked the question first. Could that action actually be a
• 23:48
  S2: reaction to something that I've neglected to do in this marriage?
• 23:54
  S2: Could this action be a reaction to love withheld? Not
• 24:02
  S2: hearing her heart putting too much pressure on her with kids,
• 24:10
  S2: figuring out gifts, figuring out finances? Could her action be
• 24:20
  S2: a reaction to me not loving my bride as Christ
• 24:26
  S2: loved the church. I know some of you are just
• 24:30
  S2: tuning in right now, and we've been in Ephesians five.
• 24:33
  S2: So I want you to go back, men, because some
• 24:35
  S2: of you guys are we got so many righteous dudes
• 24:39
  S2: who want to do the right thing. And when the
• 24:40
  S2: Spirit of God reaches in and goes, hey, something's got
• 24:43
  S2: to change here, you want to respond. It's often that
• 24:47
  S2: we look at two verses out of Ephesians five, in fact,
• 24:51
  S2: and someone mentioned this via text, and I want to
• 24:53
  S2: highlight this. The interesting thing about wives submit to your
• 24:58
  S2: own husbands as to the Lord. That word submit in
• 25:02
  S2: the English is not in verse 22 in the original
• 25:06
  S2: Greek language. Are you ready for this? That's true. It's not.
• 25:11
  S2: That word is not there. You might say, well, who
• 25:14
  S2: put it in some chauvinistic man? No, it's a it's
• 25:19
  S2: a it was it's needed to be in there. But
• 25:22
  S2: let me explain to you what the original Greek language says.
• 25:25
  S2: If you back up to verse 21 of Ephesians five,
• 25:28
  S2: it says, submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.
• 25:32
  S2: It's talking about how we relate to each other in
• 25:35
  S2: the body of Christ, men and women at large. Submit
• 25:38
  S2: to one another. Mutual submission is a principle, yes, even
• 25:44
  S2: in marriage. And then all Paul's saying is, because if
• 25:49
  S2: you left that word out in the English, it would
• 25:51
  S2: say wives comma two your own husbands. Well, that would
• 25:54
  S2: make no sense. So the English translation is just reaffirming
• 25:59
  S2: what Paul's saying in the Koine Greek. So he's saying, wives,
• 26:04
  S2: submit to your own husbands, but make make note of
• 26:07
  S2: this mutual submission is a biblical thing in marriage. So
• 26:14
  S2: any of this notion that submission goes one way is
• 26:17
  S2: totally unbiblical, 100% not in the text. Mutual submission is
• 26:25
  S2: in the text. So Paul just says, wives to your
• 26:29
  S2: own husbands, as the Lord submit to your own husbands
• 26:31
  S2: as the Lord. But the stakes are raised then for husbands. Husbands,
• 26:37
  S2: love your wives. As Christ loved the church and gave
• 26:39
  S2: himself up for her. So I'm really going after this here, guys,
• 26:43
  S2: because it goes on to explain in verse 29, for
• 26:46
  S2: no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and
• 26:49
  S2: cherishes it. So it's important for us. This is a
• 26:56
  S2: good discussion. We don't have these around here a lot,
• 26:58
  S2: but this whole, this whole notion, any dudes, listen to me.
• 27:03
  S2: If you're if you're kind of your default has been. Yeah,
• 27:07
  S2: it says that wives are supposed to submit stop time out.
• 27:11
  S2: That's not what the scriptures say. You got to back
• 27:13
  S2: up one verse. Mutual submission is there. And by the way,
• 27:17
  S2: do I do that with my bride? Yes, that's what
• 27:20
  S2: healthy biblical people do. We mutually submit to one another.
• 27:25
  S2: We yield to one another. I have never, you know,
• 27:29
  S2: a lot of guys talk about the the authority of
• 27:31
  S2: of headship. Headship is not about authority. It's about responsibility.
• 27:41
  S2: This is a totally different thing, guys. If you're trying
• 27:44
  S2: to pull rank, dude, you're so far away from where
• 27:48
  S2: God wants you right now. It's not even funny.
• 27:50
  S5: I mean, we even talk about Jesus says to his disciples,
• 27:52
  S5: if any of you want to become the greatest, you
• 27:54
  S5: must become the least. So if you want the authority.
• 27:58
  S3: To marriage.
• 27:59
  S5: I was gonna say, if you want to, if you
• 28:00
  S5: want the authority, then you better be the biggest servant
• 28:03
  S5: of all. Uh, because that's what that's what being a
• 28:08
  S5: leader in God's economy is.
• 28:11
  S2: So men let me in. And you might say. You
• 28:16
  S2: might think right now, Carl, you don't know what you
• 28:19
  S2: don't know. The woman I'm married to. Yeah, I do.
• 28:22
  S2: I've been a pastor a long time. Yeah, I do.
• 28:25
  S2: I know women can get wonky. I know they can
• 28:27
  S2: get substitute gods in their hand. I know that they
• 28:30
  S2: can get all. Here's all I'm saying. If you're seeing
• 28:34
  S2: actions toward you, I want you to consider first and foremost,
• 28:38
  S2: because men are called to be initiators, women or responders.
• 28:42
  S2: Yet the first question you must ask is, is there
• 28:46
  S2: something that I'm doing and that or not doing? And
• 28:51
  S2: this is a reaction to it. You say, Carl, that's hard.
• 28:56
  S2: Heck yeah, it's hard, man. It's hard. You know, it's hard.
• 29:00
  S2: Everything in The Natural man wants to have a 5050 proposition.
• 29:05
  S2: Meet me at the middle of the field, blah, blah, blah.
• 29:08
  S2: I get it. But here's the problem, dudes. We overestimate
• 29:13
  S2: how far we've traveled on that field, and we underestimate
• 29:16
  S2: how far she's traveled in an initiating man doesn't measure
• 29:21
  S2: yard markers in marriage. He goes humbly before God and goes, God.
• 29:26
  S2: Is there something that I've been doing here that is
• 29:29
  S2: causing a reaction that I don't like? When you can
• 29:35
  S2: humble yourself under God's mighty hand to ask that question,
• 29:40
  S2: I can assure you God will be faithful. And it's
• 29:47
  S2: easy in your own mind, in the flesh. It's easy
• 29:49
  S2: to go. Yeah, I checked it. Nothing. No, it's all
• 29:51
  S2: on her. Slow the roll, guys. Give God 20 minutes.
• 29:56
  S2: Give God 20 minutes and then journal and listen to
• 30:00
  S2: what God says. I'm glad we went after this.
• 30:05
  S4: Me too.
• 30:07
  S3: I think it's.
• 30:07
  S4: A good discussion.
• 30:09
  S2: Okay. Coming up, man, why don't we get a guy
• 30:11
  S2: that sold a few million books in here.
• 30:15
  S4: Love and respect. Have you heard of that one, Doctor Emerson?
• 30:19
  S4: Coming up.
• 30:22
  S1: The gospel changes everything.
• 30:24
  S4: Where else am I gonna find peace, joy, eternal life
• 30:27
  S4: not found in anyone else.
• 30:31
  S1: You're listening to Carl and crew.
• 30:33
  S2: What a week we've had. Chivalry. What a hot topic.
• 30:36
  S2: It's kind of a Middle Ages term. Knights of the
• 30:38
  S2: Round Table. But you got honor. You got warrior, for sure.
• 30:41
  S2: But you got respect for women. And you know what, Ali?
• 30:46
  S2: We're learning it. Chivalry still gets style points today, sister.
• 30:50
  S3: Yeah.
• 30:50
  S4: Maybe a Middle Ages word, but it's certainly not something
• 30:54
  S4: that should stay there in terms of how it's lived out. Right.
• 30:57
  S4: It's very much a everyday today right now thing. We
• 31:01
  S4: need chivalrous men. Doctor Emerson Eggerichs you would agree. Author
• 31:05
  S4: of Love and Respect. We need chivalrous men. That has
• 31:08
  S4: not gone out of style.
• 31:10
  S7: Absolutely, I fully agree. And what's interesting, it's a man's
• 31:14
  S7: impulse to use his strength on behalf of another. It's
• 31:18
  S7: the desire to protect. It's the desire to provide. It's
• 31:22
  S7: the desire to serve that's instinctive. It doesn't mean that
• 31:25
  S7: every man does that. But if you ask men, do
• 31:27
  S7: you want to be an honorable man or a dishonorable man?
• 31:30
  S7: Everyone will say they want to be an honorable man.
• 31:32
  S7: And it manifests itself in these ways.
• 31:35
  S2: Why does some men battle with passivity, not engaging even
• 31:41
  S2: with something that they know they really were designed to
• 31:43
  S2: do and be?
• 31:45
  S7: Well, I think it's there. And I think all great
• 31:46
  S7: men in relationship to other men can pull that out
• 31:49
  S7: of them. Many men shut down because they feel that
• 31:52
  S7: they've been dishonored. They've been disrespected. Contempt or disgust. I mean,
• 31:57
  S7: it's like the guy that opens the door and the
• 31:59
  S7: woman said, I can open the door myself. Now, there
• 32:01
  S7: are men that have made bad choices, and we won't
• 32:03
  S7: defend every man who fails to do the honourable thing.
• 32:06
  S7: But I think overall, for those men who have goodwill,
• 32:09
  S7: it's there. The question then is how do we bring
• 32:11
  S7: it out? How do we motivate him to act? Even
• 32:14
  S7: though there are moments when someone says, I can open
• 32:16
  S7: the door on my own?
• 32:18
  S4: You know, it's interesting when you look at let's take
• 32:20
  S4: just basic crime statistics. It is inescapable that males account
• 32:26
  S4: for the vast majority of violent crimes that are committed,
• 32:30
  S4: of murders that are committed, property crimes. For a lot
• 32:34
  S4: of people, you are going to feel less safe sometimes
• 32:39
  S4: around a man than you are. If I'm walking down
• 32:41
  S4: the street, I usually don't feel unsafe because of a woman.
• 32:44
  S4: It's usually a man that makes me feel unsafe. Why
• 32:48
  S4: is that? I don't know that I've ever asked anyone
• 32:50
  S4: this question.
• 32:51
  S3: But why is it.
• 32:52
  S4: That we often, when we see the worst things happening,
• 32:56
  S4: why is it often at the hands of men?
• 32:58
  S7: Oh, that's an excellent observation and question. Because men are lethal,
• 33:02
  S7: we don't envision women being lethal. Women get angry, but
• 33:05
  S7: we are lethal. And that's partly. Men withdraw in conflict
• 33:08
  S7: because their heartbeats get to 99 beats per minute and
• 33:10
  S7: they need to calm down physiologically. And that's actually the
• 33:13
  S7: honorable thing to do, because he recognizes that proclivity within himself,
• 33:17
  S7: that he can escalate something out of control, particularly if
• 33:20
  S7: he loses rationality. So it's actually a noble thing for
• 33:23
  S7: him to pull back because he has this characteristic within him.
• 33:26
  S7: But yes, men are warriors, but that warrior instinct that
• 33:29
  S7: leads to violence can also remember it's on the other side.
• 33:32
  S7: It's the men out there who are stopping that guy.
• 33:35
  S7: So the question is, overall, around the world, we have
• 33:37
  S7: a lot of honorable men who are stopping that individual.
• 33:40
  S7: And that's why we need to honor men, because they're
• 33:42
  S7: the ones that are going to stop that man.
• 33:44
  S3: Yeah.
• 33:45
  S2: Emerson. So men innately, I mean, from creation have this
• 33:51
  S2: in their DNA. But there's something that's got to guide
• 33:55
  S2: that and aim it like an arrow, the right direction. Emerson.
• 33:59
  S2: And it seems to me apart from and I'm going
• 34:02
  S2: with an ideal situation, I know that every man can
• 34:05
  S2: manifest good stuff because we're all image bearers. But that wholesome, righteous, aware,
• 34:13
  S2: ready to be more than open up doors. But to
• 34:15
  S2: lay down your life for a wife that doesn't come
• 34:19
  S2: to us naturally. That's a supernatural gift from God in
• 34:23
  S2: its full throated expression. How do we get there, Emerson?
• 34:27
  S7: I take the position that men who have goodwill are,
• 34:30
  S7: as I say, and I do at our conference, we've
• 34:32
  S7: been doing the Love and Respect Conference, a two day event.
• 34:35
  S7: We average about 1800 per conference. And I say this
• 34:38
  S7: out loud, all things being equal, man and woman, three
• 34:41
  S7: children in the house and a murderer comes in and says,
• 34:43
  S7: one of you must die. Who dies? Well, everybody shouts out.
• 34:47
  S7: And the men. Men. We do. I mean, men are
• 34:50
  S7: prepared to die. Most of them know that they will die.
• 34:53
  S7: They don't see this as anything other than unmanly to say, hey, honey, you.
• 34:57
  S7: You come between me and the bear. They don't do that.
• 34:59
  S2: Emerson Eggerichs with us right now. He's the author of
• 35:02
  S2: Love and Respect. I want to go after this a
• 35:04
  S2: little bit more, though, because yes, it's true that there
• 35:09
  S2: are men that when push comes to shove. Yes, but
• 35:13
  S2: the real test of godly manhood isn't when push comes
• 35:17
  S2: to shove, it's sacrificing and being chivalrous in the mundane moments.
• 35:23
  S2: How is that cultivated, Emerson?
• 35:25
  S7: Well, I think this conversation we're having is so important
• 35:28
  S7: because we need to remind men that they're not always
• 35:30
  S7: going to be honored as honorable men, and they've got
• 35:33
  S7: to do that very thing when no one gives any recognition,
• 35:36
  S7: or even when there is a sense of disgust toward
• 35:38
  S7: them having done the right thing or they're being dismissed.
• 35:41
  S7: And this is the challenge. But I think young men
• 35:43
  S7: right now across this country, young men, are kind of
• 35:46
  S7: stepping up here a little bit, and they've heard these
• 35:48
  S7: messages that they've got serious problems because they're male and
• 35:52
  S7: because of their race, whatever the question might be, that
• 35:55
  S7: is being asked on the table out there. And the
• 35:57
  S7: answer is you aren't a good man. I think boys
• 35:59
  S7: are now in particular saying, I'm not. I don't agree
• 36:01
  S7: with that. And I'm going to be this honorable man.
• 36:04
  S7: In fact, I asked Pat Riley. He had me come
• 36:06
  S7: speak to the Miami Heat. He and I spent many
• 36:08
  S7: hours together also, coach SPO. I said, do you want
• 36:11
  S7: to be honored? Do you want to receive honors or
• 36:13
  S7: do you want to be honorable? And immediately they said,
• 36:15
  S7: we want to be honorable. And when we say honors
• 36:18
  S7: or honored, honored means you're applauded. Honors mean you receive
• 36:22
  S7: some certificate or trophy. But in the deepest core of men,
• 36:25
  S7: they want to be honorable men. And this is where
• 36:28
  S7: we need to then encourage men to keep pursuing that.
• 36:31
  S7: It's there in you. God put it in you just
• 36:33
  S7: like he put love within the heart of a woman.
• 36:35
  S7: I mean, you can't keep a woman from loving. She
• 36:38
  S7: longs to love. So the question now is, why do
• 36:41
  S7: we have this problem among men in the culture? And
• 36:43
  S7: that's what you're asking, because we see the negative side
• 36:46
  S7: and we're kind of disheartened by that. And what's going
• 36:48
  S7: to bring about a positive change. I'm more optimistic. Actually.
• 36:52
  S4: Your book, Love and Respect sold over 2 million copies.
• 36:55
  S4: New York Times bestseller. You mentioned a little bit. Honor
• 36:58
  S4: as a core need for men. Love as a core
• 37:00
  S4: need for women. Respect. I'm assuming you're using honor and
• 37:03
  S4: respect interchangeably, but maybe not. Dig a little deeper there.
• 37:07
  S4: Why is respect such a core need for men?
• 37:11
  S7: Well, apparently God has designed it that way. Ephesians 533
• 37:15
  S7: commands the husband to love, and there's no agape love
• 37:18
  S7: commanded of the wife in the marriage situation, because I
• 37:20
  S7: think he put it within her nature to nurture, to.
• 37:23
  S7: She loves to love, to love. Let's see if the
• 37:25
  S7: wounded woman. To get her to stop loving. But she
• 37:28
  S7: is more natural at being disrespectful when she feels unloved
• 37:31
  S7: and no man doubts a woman's love and she's commanded
• 37:34
  S7: to put on respect. And when I unpack that, I'm thinking, well,
• 37:37
  S7: apparently we have some inherent needs here that she needs
• 37:39
  S7: to be loved for who she is. Apart from her performance,
• 37:42
  S7: he needs to be respected for who he is, created
• 37:44
  S7: in the image of God. Apart from his performance, she
• 37:47
  S7: needs to respectfully confront things that aren't respectable, just as
• 37:50
  S7: he needs to lovingly bring up things that may not
• 37:52
  S7: be lovable. And we don't know how to do that
• 37:54
  S7: very well. But I believe it's a core need. And
• 37:57
  S7: certainly the University of Washington studied 2000 couples for 20 years,
• 38:00
  S7: and they said the foundational ingredients for successful marriages are
• 38:04
  S7: love and respect, and I've been unpacking that even deeper
• 38:07
  S7: in my new book, Light Bulb Moments in Marriage.
• 38:09
  S2: Yeah, that's dynamite. Emerson. There's a notion out there that
• 38:15
  S2: we go 50%, they go 50%, and we'll meet you
• 38:20
  S2: at midfield and everything will be great. Here's the problem.
• 38:24
  S2: There's no yard markers on this field of love and respect.
• 38:28
  S2: That can be problematic because we overestimate how far we travel,
• 38:31
  S2: and we underestimate how far the other person's traveled. How
• 38:34
  S2: do you fix that?
• 38:35
  S7: Well, partly, I think the apostle Paul said, we do
• 38:37
  S7: what we do as to the Lord, as to the Lord.
• 38:39
  S7: And that was based on Jesus who said, you do
• 38:41
  S7: what you do unto me. At the end of the day,
• 38:44
  S7: I'm called to be a loving man unto Jesus Christ,
• 38:46
  S7: whether Sarah responds or not. So it's not a matter
• 38:49
  S7: of me keeping some measurement. Yes, and I have to
• 38:51
  S7: be humble about it. I have to confess, or I failed.
• 38:54
  S7: But most women are going to respond to a man
• 38:56
  S7: who in good faith, is doing the loving thing because
• 38:59
  S7: he's made a decision to be that type of man,
• 39:01
  S7: to do this unto Christ and seeks forgiveness for when
• 39:04
  S7: he failed. I mean, women are all over this. I mean,
• 39:07
  S7: you talk about touch deeply. You talk about bragging rights
• 39:11
  S7: among women. Do you know what he did yesterday? What?
• 39:13
  S7: He apologized to me. He's really been trying. He is
• 39:15
  S7: so sweet. I mean, it is a. Men have so
• 39:18
  S7: much power that they don't realize if. They just consistently
• 39:22
  S7: act as an honorable man doing this loving thing under Christ,
• 39:24
  S7: even if she's unlovable and disrespectful. That's the true test
• 39:28
  S7: of vulnerability. AM I willing to do this? Touching the
• 39:30
  S7: heart of Christ beyond the shoulder of my spouse and
• 39:33
  S7: in light bulb moments, I go deeper into that, helping
• 39:36
  S7: men know how to do that when they don't want
• 39:38
  S7: to do that.
• 39:39
  S2: Emerson, you just nailed our weak men have so much power,
• 39:46
  S2: and if we will but flex it to be honorable men. Katie,
• 39:51
  S2: bar the door. We could see this country in this
• 39:53
  S2: world turned upside down. Emerson. That's not an overstatement, is it,
• 39:56
  S2: my man?
• 39:57
  S7: No. And some have said the essence of masculinity is initiation.
• 40:01
  S7: The essence of femininity is response. So when I initiate
• 40:05
  S7: rightly with Sara, it's almost impossible for her to respond wrongly.
• 40:09
  S7: It's not within her DNA to respond wrongly. She's looking
• 40:12
  S7: for that initiation.
• 40:13
  S4: Doctor Emerson Eggerichs with us. The book is called Love
• 40:16
  S4: and Respect. He mentioned his latest book, Light Bulb Moments
• 40:20
  S4: in Marriage. Just text respect to 805 557898. Text respect
• 40:26
  S4: to 805 557898.
• 40:30
  S1: It's Carl and Crew on Moody Radio.
• 40:33
  S2: So if you're like the average dad out there, you
• 40:37
  S2: might be the one who catches and clips, but you
• 40:40
  S2: get that little baby in your hand. And then the
• 40:43
  S2: question is, now what do we do? And so it began.
• 40:49
  S2: We got a guy in here that helps with that.
• 40:51
  S2: Now what do we do? John Fuller, man, you've heard him.
• 40:54
  S2: Co-Host of the Daily Popular Focus on the family broadcast,
• 40:58
  S2: and he's got a lot of other things on his resume.
• 41:01
  S2: But right now, we will get him in here. John,
• 41:03
  S2: what's a man to do when you've got and you've clipped.
• 41:06
  S2: And now what do you do? Dude.
• 41:07
  S8: I think it's really awesome to, uh, to have kids.
• 41:10
  S8: And there is a lot that we have to learn
• 41:13
  S8: on the fly. This is one of those on the
• 41:14
  S8: job training situations where, uh, you can read all you
• 41:18
  S8: want about how to do it, but until that one,
• 41:21
  S8: that little one is in your home or in your
• 41:23
  S8: arms or in your bed with you at night, uh, boy,
• 41:27
  S8: there's just so much to learn. And the big news
• 41:30
  S8: is that it's not rocket science. I think most dads
• 41:32
  S8: would benefit from recognizing. They just have to show up
• 41:36
  S8: and be intentional, and their kids will probably do pretty well.
• 41:40
  S4: John Fuller, vice president of the audio team at focus
• 41:42
  S4: on the family. He is a media veteran more than
• 41:45
  S4: 30 years. He's also a father of six. So give
• 41:49
  S4: us some of your first time dad mistakes. You're willing
• 41:53
  S4: to share some of those.
• 41:55
  S3: It's.
• 41:56
  S8: How about when, uh, when my oldest was, I don't know, three,
• 41:59
  S8: three and a half years old and I, he did
• 42:01
  S8: something that three year old boys do. He just did something.
• 42:05
  S8: And I looked at him and I said, I was
• 42:07
  S8: kind of angry. I said, what were you thinking? He
• 42:09
  S8: just looked up at me through these, these big eyes,
• 42:12
  S8: like I wasn't thinking anything. So first of all, uh, yeah.
• 42:17
  S8: Just lighten up, dad. Uh, I had to lighten up
• 42:20
  S8: and let go of some things. I think letting go
• 42:23
  S8: of expectations. I think, uh, rolling with the punches. I
• 42:26
  S8: think leaning on some help every now and then is helpful.
• 42:29
  S8: I wanted order in my home. And kids don't allow
• 42:32
  S8: you to do that. They they bring chaos. And that's
• 42:35
  S8: a good thing if you can embrace it.
• 42:37
  S2: Yeah. So you look back and obviously you wrote this book,
• 42:40
  S2: first time, dad, the stuff you really need to know
• 42:44
  S2: what what are the top two in your mind's eye, John,
• 42:48
  S2: that young men need to know?
• 42:50
  S8: Yeah. I think first, don't do this alone. Uh, find
• 42:54
  S8: a community of guys that you can learn from. One
• 42:57
  S8: of the neatest things that that I was able to,
• 43:00
  S8: to experience as a younger dad was to find somebody
• 43:03
  S8: that was about 8 to 10 years ahead of me
• 43:05
  S8: in the journey, and I benchmark against him. We talked.
• 43:09
  S8: He helped me really kind of rightsize my thinking and
• 43:12
  S8: gave me hope. And he showed me how to really
• 43:14
  S8: enjoy kids at every stage. Um, so that's, that's the first.
• 43:18
  S8: Don't go it alone. And then second, as I said earlier,
• 43:21
  S8: show up and be intentional because the years are going
• 43:24
  S8: to go really quickly. Be home, be engaged, have fun.
• 43:30
  S8: And if you, if you invest now, when they're older,
• 43:34
  S8: you'll have the joy of being around your kids and
• 43:36
  S8: they're going to be friends.
• 43:38
  S4: John Fuller with us right now. You know, it's, it's
• 43:41
  S4: an interesting dynamic for dads. I mean, nobody you mentioned,
• 43:45
  S4: nobody really feels prepared. But I think a lot of
• 43:50
  S4: times women can adjust not not across the board. But
• 43:53
  S4: generally speaking, many women adjust to the role of motherhood,
• 43:58
  S4: sometimes more easily than dads adjust to the role of fatherhood.
• 44:04
  S4: You know, they maybe didn't have great models or any
• 44:07
  S4: models of fatherhood growing up. There's the, you know, the
• 44:10
  S4: kind of the feels like the technical skill gap. Like
• 44:13
  S4: I've never changed a diaper. I've never done this before.
• 44:17
  S4: How does speak to the dads who just feel like
• 44:19
  S4: they were kind of unprepared, whether they're an expectant father
• 44:23
  S4: or they're many years in, they feel like, I don't
• 44:25
  S4: know that I was like, set up well for the job.
• 44:29
  S8: Yeah. So one of the Genesis moments for writing this
• 44:32
  S8: book was taking my kids to the park with my brother. Uh,
• 44:37
  S8: he brought his kids. I brought my kids. We were
• 44:39
  S8: watching them. We're on the, on the playground stuff, playing
• 44:41
  S8: with them, having fun. And we took a break and
• 44:43
  S8: sat down. And this younger guy comes over. He had
• 44:47
  S8: been watching us from one of the benches, and evidently
• 44:49
  S8: he had a child out there, But he came up,
• 44:52
  S8: he said, you guys look like you're enjoying this. I
• 44:54
  S8: don't even know how to enjoy being a dad. What's
• 44:57
  S8: that about? What can you tell me? And so my
• 45:00
  S8: heart goes out to those dads who are struggling, who
• 45:03
  S8: might feel like, ah, and I get it, there's no
• 45:07
  S8: job performance review at home typically for being a dad. Um,
• 45:12
  S8: and so I think it is difficult for a lot
• 45:15
  S8: of dads. We have to recognize that we're, we're really
• 45:18
  S8: first and foremost called to be husbands and then dads
• 45:22
  S8: and then employees and then volunteers at church and then,
• 45:26
  S8: you know, maybe a golfing buddy. So the hobbies have
• 45:29
  S8: to take a back seat. And the good news is
• 45:32
  S8: if you can find time to enjoy the present, then
• 45:36
  S8: it's going to be a much more enjoyable journey. I
• 45:39
  S8: remember going home and, and my boys, when they were younger,
• 45:42
  S8: had these little plastic animals. And we would we would
• 45:45
  S8: set things up. I'd lay in the ground and we'd
• 45:47
  S8: play animals or we'd have these cardboard boxes that we
• 45:51
  S8: would stack, and they would make the Dawn Treader because
• 45:54
  S8: we were reading C.S. Lewis together. Uh, there's, there are
• 45:57
  S8: a lot of wonderful, rich moments of just showing up
• 46:00
  S8: and playing, reading, talking. I tell you, one of the
• 46:04
  S8: best things I did was just throw a kid or
• 46:06
  S8: two in the back seat when I ran to Home Depot.
• 46:08
  S8: That was that was not a big deal, but it
• 46:10
  S8: was time and it was casual time. And especially with boys,
• 46:14
  S8: you got to do the the kind of we're busy thing.
• 46:17
  S8: When you talk, you can't just sit down and say,
• 46:19
  S8: what are you thinking? Because as I indicated earlier, they're
• 46:22
  S8: not thinking much.
• 46:23
  S3: Yeah.
• 46:24
  S2: You know, it's interesting, John, I think, uh, we can
• 46:27
  S2: pigeonhole kids based on male or female even. And I
• 46:31
  S2: learned a good lesson when I found out early on
• 46:34
  S2: that my daughter really loved to go with her dad
• 46:37
  S2: to the lumber yard. She wanted to go pick out
• 46:41
  S2: the wood with dad. At first, I'm like, you know,
• 46:44
  S2: being born and raised in Alaska and building things with dudes,
• 46:47
  S2: I'm like, you really want to go? And she's like, yeah.
• 46:52
  S2: In fact, one of her greatest memories is being at
• 46:55
  S2: a lumber yard with dad. We got to be ready
• 46:58
  S2: for things that we don't Preconceive are going to plug
• 47:03
  S2: and play. Sometimes it's different, isn't it, John?
• 47:06
  S8: It really is. And, you know, the stereotypes kind of
• 47:09
  S8: generally apply for a reason, but not always. And so yeah,
• 47:15
  S8: I've got two of my sons are pretty sensitive. They,
• 47:19
  S8: they have big hearts and um, and we can, we
• 47:22
  S8: can get together and, and really go places that I
• 47:25
  S8: wouldn't have expected when they were younger. And I've got
• 47:28
  S8: a daughter who I describe as a little red sports
• 47:31
  S8: car with the throttle stuck wide open. She just goes, man.
• 47:36
  S8: So you got to be open to whatever that child is.
• 47:40
  S8: However they're wired, however, they're uniquely gifted. Not not just
• 47:45
  S8: say no, that's for boys or that's for girls. No.
• 47:48
  S8: Meet them where they're at.
• 47:50
  S2: Yeah. That's great. John Fuller, our guest right now. You know,
• 47:54
  S2: there's these moments that a dad gets where you get
• 47:59
  S2: to say, I'm sorry I messed up. I think those
• 48:04
  S2: get undersold. Those are of great value, aren't they, John?
• 48:08
  S8: Well they are. I mean, they do two things. First,
• 48:11
  S8: they they reflect that you've been thinking about stuff and
• 48:14
  S8: you're not just on autopilot doing things. You're um, you're
• 48:19
  S8: evaluating how am I doing in this relationship with this child,
• 48:24
  S8: whether they're three or 7 or 14. And, um, so,
• 48:30
  S8: so that's first, it's good to be introspective, not, not
• 48:33
  S8: necessarily to live there all the time, but it's good
• 48:35
  S8: to be taking measure of how am I showing up?
• 48:38
  S8: It also demonstrates a very powerful thing to your child,
• 48:41
  S8: who probably at some point thinks that, you know, you
• 48:45
  S8: do everything perfectly or you think you do. Yeah. So
• 48:49
  S8: for me, the power of the apology has been to
• 48:52
  S8: demonstrate to my children, I'm I know I mess up
• 48:56
  S8: and I want to show you how I think I
• 48:58
  S8: can get past this. I hope we can get past
• 49:01
  S8: this because I'd like a redo. I'd like to say
• 49:04
  S8: I'm sorry that I was so sharp with my words.
• 49:07
  S8: I'd like to say I'm sorry I was so preoccupied
• 49:09
  S8: with things at the moment. So give yourself permission to
• 49:13
  S8: feel any shortcomings that you have. And, um, seek the
• 49:18
  S8: Lord for courage to express those to your children. I
• 49:22
  S8: do want to do a caveat, and that is the
• 49:24
  S8: older I get, the more I realize, oh, I could
• 49:27
  S8: have done that differently. And so I did a little
• 49:29
  S8: bit of an apology tour with my adult kids. And
• 49:33
  S8: after about the second time with my son, I was
• 49:35
  S8: expressing kind of a wish I would have when I was,
• 49:38
  S8: you know, a newer dad. He just looked at me
• 49:40
  S8: and said, dad, you're fine. You did fine. And I
• 49:44
  S8: take great comfort in that because I think if anybody
• 49:47
  S8: would remember my failures, it's my oldest. He's the one
• 49:50
  S8: that we messed up with the most.
• 49:51
  S3: Yeah.
• 49:52
  S8: We were. I was so uptight and wound up tight
• 49:55
  S8: and I practiced so much on him, if you will.
• 49:58
  S8: And I think that there's a great lesson there. Kids
• 50:01
  S8: overlook our mistakes, especially if we give them an apology.
• 50:06
  S8: They're going to move on in life so much healthier.
• 50:08
  S8: And we will too.
• 50:09
  S4: You know that ownership that you're talking about, the apology tour,
• 50:12
  S4: it's refreshing. I'm sure you have heard about the it's
• 50:16
  S4: become a bit of an epidemic of of estrangement between
• 50:20
  S4: parents and their adult children. And a lot of it
• 50:22
  S4: centers around maybe perceived shortcomings or mistakes that they feel
• 50:28
  S4: adult children feel like their parents have made and haven't owned.
• 50:32
  S4: And this is this is a different topic. So we
• 50:34
  S4: won't go too far into the woods with it, but
• 50:37
  S4: speak to the importance of being able to own things,
• 50:41
  S4: even things that you happened many, many years ago that
• 50:45
  S4: could still be standing in the way of a healthy
• 50:47
  S4: relationship with your adult children.
• 50:49
  S8: Yeah. My heart goes out to parents who are estranged
• 50:52
  S8: from their kids. That's one of the top reasons that
• 50:55
  S8: people call to talk, to focus on the family counselors
• 50:58
  S8: is raising adult kids or not raising adult kids, but
• 51:01
  S8: relating to adult kids. That's so hard when a child says,
• 51:06
  S8: you did this and so I'm never talking to you again,
• 51:08
  S8: or I'm not letting you see the grandkids or something
• 51:11
  S8: like that. That's, that's just got to be one of
• 51:13
  S8: the biggest heartaches. So there has to be a balance here. Yes,
• 51:18
  S8: we do make mistakes as parents. No, unless the mistake
• 51:24
  S8: was intentional and ongoing, we're probably not scarring our kids
• 51:27
  S8: for life. Most parents do the best they can with
• 51:30
  S8: what they've got there. No parent ever says, I'm going
• 51:34
  S8: to mess up my kid for the rest of their life.
• 51:35
  S8: Every parent wants to take care of their child well.
• 51:39
  S8: And in those moments where we fail, look for God's grace.
• 51:43
  S8: And boy, I just look to Luke 15, the parable,
• 51:47
  S8: that third parable Jesus talks about in Luke 15, the
• 51:51
  S8: parable of, I call it the forgiving father. It's the
• 51:54
  S8: prodigal son. It's the son who says, I wish you
• 51:56
  S8: were dead. Give me my money now and takes off
• 51:59
  S8: and just destroys the relationship. But the father, he never
• 52:03
  S8: stops looking for, longing for, and loving that son. Yeah.
• 52:08
  S8: And as parents, we're called to love our kids. And
• 52:11
  S8: if they don't accept it, that's really on them. That's
• 52:15
  S8: their choice. And again, that's such a heartache. I can't
• 52:19
  S8: I cannot relate to that. We've had moments with our
• 52:22
  S8: adult kids, but they're all in connection with us. Seek
• 52:25
  S8: to stay connected, keep the light on. Keep that front
• 52:29
  S8: light on. Be the adult who looks after your child,
• 52:32
  S8: prays for them, and seeks to repair the relationship. It
• 52:35
  S8: might mean just sitting and listening quietly, But if you
• 52:40
  S8: need help with that, get a counselor, get a pastor,
• 52:42
  S8: get a friend, talk to somebody, but seek the relationship.
• 52:46
  S8: It's it's on you. Mom and dad, even if you've
• 52:48
  S8: messed up, it's on you to seek the best of
• 52:50
  S8: the relationship.
• 52:51
  S2: Amen. Couldn't be more spot on. He's written a book
• 52:55
  S2: called First Time Dad. This stuff you really need to know.
• 52:58
  S2: And for a lot of you dads or moms, you're like, yeah,
• 53:02
  S2: this is the one we got to get in the home.
• 53:04
  S2: Text the word dad to 805 5578981 word dad to
• 53:12
  S2: 805 557898.
• 53:16
  S4: We'll link you to the book, but also to the
• 53:17
  S4: resources available. And there are many through focus on the
• 53:21
  S4: family to help you strengthen those relationships. So just text
• 53:24
  S4: dad to 800 555, 78, 98.
• 53:30
  S1: Celebrating the Unstoppable gospel.
• 53:33
  S5: It's not that I've got to fill in these check boxes,
• 53:36
  S5: so he's okay with me, but it's that I get
• 53:38
  S5: to stand close to him so that I can experience
• 53:40
  S5: the life that he has for me.
• 53:42
  S1: You're listening to Carl and crew.
• 53:45
  S2: What's hard about chivalry in our culture today? What's hard
• 53:49
  S2: about it, guys?
• 53:51
  S4: Well, I mean, I think anything that requires self-sacrificing is
• 53:55
  S4: always going to be hard. But I think the subtle
• 53:57
  S4: thing that makes it hard is, I think time at
• 53:59
  S4: times men can get confused and I'm a lady. So
• 54:03
  S4: I'm going to give you my perspective, but I can
• 54:05
  S4: see how it would be confusing to know what women
• 54:09
  S4: want because there's a lot of there's a lot of
• 54:12
  S4: cultural pressure to not do things, to not have bound
• 54:19
  S4: gender roles, gendered language, and that that cultural pressure strong.
• 54:27
  S4: So the idea that there would be certain things that
• 54:30
  S4: men do and that women do. There's a lot of
• 54:32
  S4: pushback there. And so I can see why. For men,
• 54:37
  S4: it's confusing to go, okay, am I going to be
• 54:39
  S4: offensive if I open a door here for, you know,
• 54:42
  S4: obviously for your wife? I think it's a little bit easier.
• 54:45
  S4: But for this for should I help this woman who
• 54:48
  S4: appears to be a little bit older with her groceries?
• 54:50
  S4: Or is that going to is that going to offend her?
• 54:53
  S4: So I think that that's one of the things is
• 54:54
  S4: that it's it's less clear now. What's the appropriate thing
• 54:59
  S4: to do for the moment?
• 55:00
  S3: Yeah.
• 55:00
  S2: No, it's I that's really interesting that you say that
• 55:04
  S2: because I've, I have had that thought. It's never held
• 55:08
  S2: me back.
• 55:08
  S3: From.
• 55:09
  S2: Doing industry.
• 55:09
  S3: Standard.
• 55:10
  S2: Stuff for chivalrous things. But I've had that thought. Here's
• 55:14
  S2: what I want to say though. As much as we
• 55:15
  S2: have that thought, some of this stuff is, I think,
• 55:19
  S2: Satan's plot to get us afraid of things that are
• 55:23
  S2: not as existent as we might imagine. Let me give
• 55:26
  S2: you my example. I have never one time had a
• 55:29
  S2: woman basically tell me I'm equal to you. You don't
• 55:32
  S2: need to grab my door. never once. And I've opened
• 55:36
  S2: a lot of O'Malley. And really, I mean, all over
• 55:40
  S2: the place in really secular kind of what you could
• 55:45
  S2: see as like, let's just shoot it straight. I've been
• 55:48
  S2: in downtown Chicago, kind of the big corporate buildings where,
• 55:53
  S2: you know, there's a lot of there's, there would probably
• 55:58
  S2: be a lot of people saying there's no difference except
• 56:03
  S2: for a few minor things between men and women about
• 56:06
  S2: what they can do, how they can aspire and all that.
• 56:08
  S2: And they really championed that. And by the way, I
• 56:10
  S2: do too. I love strong leaders and strong leader women. And,
• 56:14
  S2: and I, I've always told both of our kids when
• 56:17
  S2: we're raising them, go after your dreams. I didn't say
• 56:19
  S2: it more to our son than to our daughter ever.
• 56:21
  S2: Not ever. I do think there are some unique roles,
• 56:25
  S2: especially with regard to motherhood and our daughter, man is
• 56:28
  S2: doing a great job being a mom, but there's some
• 56:30
  S2: basic constraints around biology, that kind of change how things cook.
• 56:35
  S3: But sure.
• 56:35
  S2: But I digress. I have never had one woman come
• 56:39
  S2: up to me. Let's just get it straight out here saying,
• 56:42
  S2: you don't need to open my door. You don't need
• 56:44
  S2: to wait for me. You don't need to pick up
• 56:46
  S2: this suitcase for me because I'm, I'm equal to you
• 56:50
  S2: or even alluded to that I never once. And I
• 56:54
  S2: would venture to say I do this way more than
• 56:58
  S2: the average guy, and I've never run into it. And
• 57:01
  S2: maybe they were afraid to tell me what they thought. No,
• 57:05
  S2: I don't think so.
• 57:06
  S4: I don't I, and I think when when you're an
• 57:09
  S4: honorable man, I think that there's no pushback, I really do.
• 57:14
  S4: I mean, I think that there's I'm glad that we
• 57:17
  S4: are pushing back against the, you know, if you're every
• 57:21
  S4: woman has been in, in a space where you felt
• 57:24
  S4: like if you were in could, could be a workplace setting,
• 57:27
  S4: could be any number of places where you felt like
• 57:30
  S4: as a woman, you were being talked down to or
• 57:33
  S4: overlooked and which is totally different, but every woman felt it.
• 57:38
  S4: And that's true then and it's true now.
• 57:42
  S3: Right.
• 57:42
  S4: Thankfully, it's that's not doesn't happen as much as it
• 57:45
  S4: used to. But I think when it's clear when a
• 57:49
  S4: man's intentions are to be honorable and to serve as
• 57:53
  S4: opposed to it being a power play of saying, let
• 57:57
  S4: me take care of this because I don't think you
• 57:59
  S4: can handle it.
• 58:00
  S3: Yeah.
• 58:00
  S2: I'm sure if you're I mean, but if you're acting
• 58:02
  S2: like that.
• 58:03
  S3: Right, there's other issues going on.
• 58:04
  S2: That's idiocy. Yeah. It's like, hey, let me help you out.
• 58:07
  S2: You're dummy. You can't handle it or whatever. But I, I,
• 58:11
  S2: I think most people would be shocked to know that
• 58:15
  S2: never one time in my life has one of those
• 58:18
  S2: people popped up when I'm doing just something that that
• 58:21
  S2: dad taught me to do. When someone goes, yeah, don't
• 58:23
  S2: do that.
• 58:24
  S5: Yeah. You know, I think we talked about it earlier
• 58:26
  S5: this week where, you know, if you, if you give
• 58:29
  S5: this concept to a young boy. They they kind of
• 58:32
  S5: immediately get it. The problem is, is in all honesty
• 58:36
  S5: right now with how culture is. If it's not taught
• 58:39
  S5: by the parents, it's not taught like if you if
• 58:43
  S5: if you're not constantly having conversations. Yeah, I really don't
• 58:47
  S5: think that there's stuff in culture, in media that's like, hey,
• 58:51
  S5: you need to be chivalrous. You need to open the
• 58:54
  S5: door for a lady. You need to make sure that,
• 58:56
  S5: you know, lay your coat down, give them your coat, whatever.
• 58:58
  S5: It's not that. I just don't think that's as taught
• 59:00
  S5: as it was even to when I was a kid. Uh,
• 59:03
  S5: it's not out there, so I don't think the concept
• 59:06
  S5: is as easily, uh, received because it's not as easily accessible.
• 59:11
  S3: Well, some of these.
• 59:12
  S2: Some of these kids are getting it, though it might
• 59:14
  S2: be baked into some of our cultural fabric because I've
• 59:17
  S2: been stunned. You know, I get stunned on both both ways,
• 59:21
  S2: you know what I'm saying? I get stunned at how
• 59:24
  S2: bad we really are as a culture. And then I
• 59:26
  S2: get stunned by, Wow. We're still pretty good as a culture.
• 59:30
  S5: Sure.
• 59:31
  S2: You know what I'm saying?
• 59:32
  S3: Absolutely.
• 59:33
  S2: It's kind of like. Oof! So chivalry. My contention is
• 59:39
  S2: chivalry still get style points in survey says this week
• 59:43
  S2: our boom crew listeners. For sure.
• 59:45
  S5: 100%.
• 59:46
  S2: By the way, speaking of boom crew. Oh my goodness.
• 59:49
  S2: I went to listen to Riley Gaines yesterday. Guys, I
• 59:53
  S2: met more boom crews from across the. Who knows where.
• 1:00:00
  S2: Mainly across all across Chicagoland. Then you can imagine, and
• 1:00:04
  S2: I'm going to say this right now, they are the
• 1:00:07
  S2: most joy filled people on the planet. They are just exceptional.
• 1:00:13
  S2: But there's one thing that Riley said in her talk.
• 1:00:16
  S2: Riley Gaines and I wanted to share it with you.
• 1:00:19
  S2: First off, what a humble gal told the whole story
• 1:00:23
  S2: of this swim meet that went south. And if you
• 1:00:25
  S2: don't know Riley Gaines and what went down with Leah
• 1:00:28
  S2: Thomas and all that. I don't have time to catch
• 1:00:31
  S2: you up, but wow. From the UNs, you know, they
• 1:00:36
  S2: she was told, be quiet. Do not say a thing.
• 1:00:39
  S2: You carry the university's logo and you don't speak for us.
• 1:00:43
  S2: So basically, sit down and shut up. Talk about suppressing
• 1:00:47
  S2: a woman's voice, by the way.
• 1:00:48
  S3: Yeah.
• 1:00:49
  S2: And she at one point she had 50 news organizations
• 1:00:56
  S2: wanting to get something from her. And she waited, waited, waited.
• 1:00:58
  S2: But everything that was being said wasn't the truth. She
• 1:01:02
  S2: finished in a photo finish with Leah Thomas, who's a dude,
• 1:01:06
  S2: and they touch photo finish super die. You know this.
• 1:01:09
  S2: You were a swim girl photo finish like within, like,
• 1:01:12
  S2: I think it's hundredths of a second or thousands or something.
• 1:01:15
  S6: Yeah, the decimal goes way.
• 1:01:17
  S3: Way.
• 1:01:18
  S2: Way.
• 1:01:18
  S3: Down.
• 1:01:18
  S6: Deep.
• 1:01:19
  S2: So they finished exactly tied. They go backstage and she's
• 1:01:22
  S2: told this by, I don't know who it was. Some
• 1:01:24
  S2: big collegiate Authority said, listen, you guys had a photo finish.
• 1:01:27
  S2: We're very sorry, but we're going to give this trophy
• 1:01:29
  S2: to Leah. And they said, you can go in and
• 1:01:34
  S2: take a picture with the trophy, but backstage. But up
• 1:01:37
  S2: on the stage we're going to give this Leah. Now
• 1:01:40
  S2: you need to know something, guys. Riley Gaines is sharing
• 1:01:42
  S2: this story with such humility and grace and class. And
• 1:01:48
  S2: I'm like, wow, I didn't know this. And by the way,
• 1:01:53
  S2: she's only 26 now, okay? Sometimes you see these people
• 1:01:57
  S2: and you think they've been around forever. She must be 40. No,
• 1:02:00
  S2: this just happened here just five years ago. And bless
• 1:02:04
  S2: her heart, she said I didn't want in this fight.
• 1:02:08
  S2: I didn't want in this fight. I wanted to go
• 1:02:11
  S2: be a dentist. She's top of her class, heading off
• 1:02:15
  S2: to dentistry school. And now she finds herself in this thing.
• 1:02:20
  S2: And you know the one thing that she said that
• 1:02:24
  S2: I thought I needed to share with you men. She said,
• 1:02:27
  S2: I've been a little bit sad by how many men
• 1:02:32
  S2: are not championing the rights of women in sports more
• 1:02:39
  S2: than they are. They're kind of letting it play out
• 1:02:41
  S2: or hoping that the NCAA figures it out. And she
• 1:02:44
  S2: said this. She says it ain't going to figure it out, guys.
• 1:02:48
  S2: And I, I thought going home, I thought, Holy smokes,
• 1:02:54
  S2: you know, where does this go? If you can take
• 1:02:58
  S2: a trophy away from a woman, because a man who's
• 1:03:01
  S2: six foot four with size 15ft jumps in the pool
• 1:03:05
  S2: alongside her, and he used to compete with men for
• 1:03:08
  S2: two years at the collegiate level and finished like 4
• 1:03:11
  S2: to 500 nationally. And now he's number one with women.
• 1:03:16
  S2: If if you can take that away from women very candidly,
• 1:03:21
  S2: I'm not going to I'm not going to go here
• 1:03:23
  S2: to extremes, but you don't have to look far around
• 1:03:25
  S2: the world to see women's rights in the absolute toilet, like, nonexistent.
• 1:03:31
  S2: And although Jesus came so egalitarian, is it possible that
• 1:03:38
  S2: by way of a little chipping away, we could see
• 1:03:41
  S2: women utterly discounted in ways that are unimaginable right now?
• 1:03:48
  S2: The answer is yes. It's called cultural decline. So I
• 1:03:52
  S2: want to honor Riley Gaines and just tell you, men,
• 1:03:56
  S2: this isn't about militant. It's about speaking up. And she says,
• 1:04:00
  S2: by the way, it's so weird. I get called this
• 1:04:02
  S2: militant person and all I've done is go, excuse me,
• 1:04:06
  S2: excuse me, this isn't right. Excuse me. Could I speak
• 1:04:10
  S2: up for some other girls here? And so, Riley Gaines,
• 1:04:15
  S2: this is for you. I'm calling all men not to
• 1:04:18
  S2: be a jerk, not to be this angry evangelical, but
• 1:04:24
  S2: by all means stand up for women. And especially at
• 1:04:34
  S2: this sporting level. Let's stand up and and not again.
• 1:04:41
  S2: I really believe one of the problems with this argument
• 1:04:44
  S2: is that it's the way in which we communicate it.
• 1:04:46
  S2: When you get all jerk and angry and you start
• 1:04:50
  S2: castigating people, that seems to go nowhere. But when we
• 1:04:54
  S2: stand up and go, you know what? Dadgum it. This
• 1:04:58
  S2: woman deserves a trophy. That dude should not be competing
• 1:05:03
  S2: against her. I said it'd be great if more men
• 1:05:08
  S2: stood up that way. So that's my thought on that
• 1:05:12
  S2: one for chivalry today. Those are my thoughts. My thoughts alone.
• 1:05:18
  S2: But you ain't pushing me off. That rock ain't happening.
• 1:05:22
  S4: You know, the interesting thing with the, you know, the
• 1:05:24
  S4: the debate over women or men in women's sports is
• 1:05:29
  S4: that at the highest level, it is already not allowed.
• 1:05:33
  S4: You know, and so it's interesting that we are.
• 1:05:35
  S3: Thank you for that, Ali.
• 1:05:36
  S4: And it won't be.
• 1:05:38
  S5: It.
• 1:05:38
  S3: Will.
• 1:05:39
  S4: Be. The International Olympic Committee has already has mandated that
• 1:05:43
  S4: they're going to do a genetic test to ensure that
• 1:05:47
  S4: biological women. So it's you know, so it's like when
• 1:05:50
  S4: you get up to the top, you see where what
• 1:05:53
  S4: we really what we really.
• 1:05:54
  S3: The acid test proves itself.
• 1:05:56
  S2: Because we had those boxers. Now they're saying, no, we
• 1:06:01
  S2: can't have guys that have way too much testosterone smack
• 1:06:05
  S2: in this dougie's out of these girls.
• 1:06:08
  S4: And no, no Olympic athlete who's trained for four years
• 1:06:11
  S4: of their life for a.
• 1:06:13
  S3: 1 or 2 minute.
• 1:06:15
  S4: Is not going to it's so it's it is not
• 1:06:18
  S4: going to fly at the highest level because.
• 1:06:20
  S3: There's too much at stake. There's too much at stake.
• 1:06:23
  S2: How this stuff goes to. They go after the weaker.
• 1:06:26
  S3: Of the.
• 1:06:27
  S4: More vulnerable.
• 1:06:28
  S3: The more vulnerable.
• 1:06:29
  S4: Let's do the experiment and have the middle school and
• 1:06:31
  S4: the high school girls have to suffer. But at the
• 1:06:33
  S4: Olympic level? Absolutely not.
• 1:06:35
  S3: Yeah.
• 1:06:38
  S4: It's it's it's a pretty it's pretty backwards, actually.
• 1:06:42
  S3: Yeah.
• 1:06:43
  S2: It's it's really amazing. And what's amazing is I think
• 1:06:48
  S2: there should be more people at these highest, highest levels.
• 1:06:52
  S2: I mean, we've got we got issues with girls that
• 1:06:54
  S2: left women's soccer teams would have never wanted to compete
• 1:06:57
  S2: against a man. And now they're like all for it.
• 1:07:00
  S2: So but Allie's right. When you get to the highest
• 1:07:03
  S2: levels and people that didn't used to compete but do compete,
• 1:07:07
  S2: all of a sudden, it's like, yeah, I think, I
• 1:07:11
  S2: think we need to break it up here a little bit.
• 1:07:13
  S3: Yeah.
• 1:07:14
  S2: All right. We got on a long riff there, but
• 1:07:17
  S2: sometimes you just got to do it.
• 1:07:19
  S1: Finding nuggets of truth in everyday life.
• 1:07:22
  S9: It's a metaphor. It's just a metaphor, dude.
• 1:07:24
  S10: That's a metaphor.
• 1:07:26
  S9: It's a metaphor.
• 1:07:27
  S11: I know it's a metaphor.
• 1:07:28
  S1: It's time for making a metaphor with young thunder.
• 1:07:32
  S3: All right.
• 1:07:34
  S2: We're going to start getting you the boom crew involved
• 1:07:36
  S2: in this. Starting next week. We're going to do it.
• 1:07:38
  S2: But today, Ali's going to pitch a story to Jonathan,
• 1:07:42
  S2: who has this uncanny way that we have learned of
• 1:07:44
  S2: taking just fun, old fashioned stories from everyday life and
• 1:07:48
  S2: turning them into spiritual metaphors. Can he do it again?
• 1:07:52
  S2: We'll find out.
• 1:07:53
  S4: Ali will find out. I got an email recently that
• 1:07:56
  S4: was congratulating me that I was going to be inducted
• 1:07:59
  S4: into the Hall of Fame at my college.
• 1:08:02
  S3: Wow.
• 1:08:02
  S4: As part of the women's volleyball team, I got a
• 1:08:06
  S4: text message that same day from a former teammate like, hey,
• 1:08:10
  S4: did you see we're going to be in the Hall
• 1:08:12
  S4: of Fame? Let me give you a little bit of backstory.
• 1:08:16
  S4: So I played two years of college volleyball. By the
• 1:08:19
  S4: end of my second year, I had suffered an ankle injury.
• 1:08:23
  S4: I was suffering from a high level of burnout. So
• 1:08:27
  S4: I decided after two years, I was not going to continue. Well,
• 1:08:34
  S4: that team that I decided not to continue to be
• 1:08:36
  S4: a part of went on that season to win their
• 1:08:39
  S4: conference and to qualify for the NCAA tournament. Wow. It
• 1:08:44
  S4: was a bit of a pain point because I quit
• 1:08:48
  S4: that team for good reason, cheered them on, was still
• 1:08:52
  S4: good friends with many of them to this day. So
• 1:08:55
  S4: when I got that notification and the text message, it
• 1:08:59
  S4: was clear that everybody had forgotten that I was not
• 1:09:02
  S4: a part of that championship run, that I actually left
• 1:09:07
  S4: the team prior to the start of that season. So
• 1:09:10
  S4: it brought up these interestingly complicated emotions. There was a
• 1:09:14
  S4: big part of me that sort of wanted to rewrite
• 1:09:16
  S4: history a little bit and rewrite myself back into this
• 1:09:20
  S4: story that clearly everyone else had forgotten after this passage
• 1:09:25
  S4: of time that, hey guys, remember I didn't make that
• 1:09:28
  S4: championship run with you. And so I thought about, should
• 1:09:33
  S4: I go to the ceremony? Should I get myself into
• 1:09:35
  S4: the Hall of Fame? I mean, my name was on
• 1:09:37
  S4: the roster, but no, I emailed and said, hey, I
• 1:09:41
  S4: know that I was in the media guide. I was
• 1:09:43
  S4: on the roster, but actually I wasn't a part of
• 1:09:45
  S4: the team. So I'm not going to participate in the
• 1:09:48
  S4: Hall of Fame ceremony. But it was interesting, though, how
• 1:09:51
  S4: it brought up for me this sort of man. What
• 1:09:55
  S4: if it what if I could have been this this monumental, um,
• 1:10:01
  S4: celebration that I just missed out on? And so I'm wondering, Jonathan,
• 1:10:06
  S4: what is the metaphor that you can make out of this?
• 1:10:10
  S5: That's a great question and a great story. You know, I,
• 1:10:14
  S5: I can understand that it must have been hard to
• 1:10:17
  S5: look at this team that you were once a part
• 1:10:19
  S5: of getting recognized and looking back on, on your time
• 1:10:23
  S5: there and saying, well, I didn't really get to be
• 1:10:25
  S5: a part of that. So I can't share in the
• 1:10:28
  S5: same celebration and same victory that they get to. And
• 1:10:32
  S5: the verses that came to my mind were First Corinthians
• 1:10:35
  S5: 924 through 27. Do you not know that in a
• 1:10:38
  S5: race all runners run, but only one receives the prize?
• 1:10:41
  S5: So run that you may obtain it. And then this,
• 1:10:43
  S5: this thing. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things they do.
• 1:10:46
  S5: They do it to receive a perishable wreath. But we
• 1:10:49
  S5: an imperishable. So do not run aimlessly. I do not
• 1:10:52
  S5: box as one beating the air, but I discipline my
• 1:10:54
  S5: body to keep it under control, lest after preaching to others,
• 1:10:57
  S5: I myself, myself should be disqualified. I look at the
• 1:11:01
  S5: part where he says they do not do it to
• 1:11:03
  S5: receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. We are
• 1:11:10
  S5: a part of a greater team that sees at the
• 1:11:14
  S5: end a greater victory and a greater celebration than the
• 1:11:18
  S5: one you shared, albeit yours is extremely significant here on
• 1:11:22
  S5: this earth. But at the end of the day, it's
• 1:11:25
  S5: a perishable wreath. We, as the people of Christ, are
• 1:11:29
  S5: running for an imperishable wreath, and we are a part
• 1:11:33
  S5: of a team that at the end of the day,
• 1:11:35
  S5: we know victory is coming our way. Sometimes it can
• 1:11:40
  S5: get tiring. Sometimes we can experience burnout. We can experience
• 1:11:44
  S5: some injuries along the way, and it can make us
• 1:11:48
  S5: want to give up. I should just quit running the
• 1:11:51
  S5: race altogether because I'm so tired. This race has dinged
• 1:11:55
  S5: me up so much. I just want to be done
• 1:11:57
  S5: and some people walk away, but at the end of
• 1:12:01
  S5: the day, we're all going to get a notification that
• 1:12:06
  S5: this team has won And they're going to be recognized
• 1:12:10
  S5: and there's going to be a great celebration for it.
• 1:12:13
  S5: Don't be a part of the group that sees that
• 1:12:15
  S5: notification and says, oh, man, I remember when I was
• 1:12:18
  S5: running with that team and I gave up. Don't be
• 1:12:22
  S5: a part of the people who says, nah, I just
• 1:12:26
  S5: left it and now I have to watch them celebrate
• 1:12:28
  S5: from the outside and I don't get to be a
• 1:12:30
  S5: part of it. The race dings and there's some burnout
• 1:12:35
  S5: included because it's a hard race, but the team does
• 1:12:39
  S5: win at the end of this, and there is a
• 1:12:42
  S5: celebration at the end of this. So persevere in the
• 1:12:46
  S5: Holy Spirit and be a part of this team forever
• 1:12:51
  S5: and ever.
• 1:12:52
  S2: I think the cool thing. Thank you Jonathan.
• 1:12:55
  S4: Make it a metaphor.
• 1:12:56
  S2: Yeah, make it a metaphor. I think the cool thing too,
• 1:12:59
  S2: is in the spiritual race that we're running, there's no
• 1:13:03
  S2: amount of physicality that will qualify you or disqualify you.
• 1:13:08
  S2: There's no amount of perceived setbacks that makes you unable
• 1:13:14
  S2: to be part of the team. It's really a hard attitude,
• 1:13:17
  S2: almost more than it is anything else.
• 1:13:19
  S5: It is 100% that, uh, I think, uh, Samuel, when
• 1:13:24
  S5: he's looking at all of David's brothers and he sees
• 1:13:27
  S5: the big, strong ones, he says, the Lord doesn't look
• 1:13:30
  S5: at the body. He doesn't look at the outward appearance.
• 1:13:33
  S5: He looks at the heart.
• 1:13:34
  S3: Yeah.
• 1:13:35
  S2: That's good man. Make it a metaphor, young thunder.
• 1:13:38
  S4: Love it. Good job.
• 1:13:40
  S3: Woo! I'm.
• 1:13:41
  S2: I'm back on that invite you got there, Ali.
• 1:13:44
  S3: It's really.
• 1:13:45
  S2: It's really something.
• 1:13:48
  S1: Your shot of hope to get you through the day.
• 1:13:51
  S6: You are so, so loved. God does not want you
• 1:13:55
  S6: to stay in your past. And I want you to
• 1:13:57
  S6: know and believe that today.
• 1:13:58
  S1: You're listening to Carl and Crew.
• 1:14:00
  S2: Well, one of the themes we want to constantly hit
• 1:14:03
  S2: here with Carl and crew is this reality? The world
• 1:14:07
  S2: is much more hungry for good news than we give
• 1:14:12
  S2: them credit for. Do you believe that, Ali?
• 1:14:14
  S4: Yes. And yet we have so much apprehension about sharing
• 1:14:19
  S4: our faith with people.
• 1:14:22
  S2: And even the loudest and boldest among us can get
• 1:14:24
  S2: weak in the knees at moments. But man, we got
• 1:14:27
  S2: to get a vision for what God is doing as
• 1:14:30
  S2: we just open, knowing there's God fearing people providentially primed
• 1:14:36
  S2: to respond to the gospel if will but share it.
• 1:14:39
  S2: Barry McGuire. This guy's a ball of fire. He's with
• 1:14:41
  S2: us right now. Barry. We have sold short people's willingness
• 1:14:46
  S2: to hear the good news, haven't we? My man.
• 1:14:48
  S12: The church has really stopped us from sharing our faith
• 1:14:51
  S12: by promoting all the wrong things and not the least being.
• 1:14:54
  S12: Blessed are those who are persecuted. So we have this
• 1:14:57
  S12: perception that it's so hard. And I can tell you
• 1:15:00
  S12: right now, it has never been easier. I mean, the
• 1:15:03
  S12: entire world is up in the air and worried and
• 1:15:06
  S12: fearful and wondering where God is. And the Bible says
• 1:15:09
  S12: they'll know you're my disciple by your love. And so
• 1:15:12
  S12: here's the best part. The Holy Spirit gives you the
• 1:15:14
  S12: words to say, and he gives us that promise in
• 1:15:17
  S12: Luke 1212. That's intimacy with God. There's nothing better than that.
• 1:15:22
  S4: Barry McGuire with us, founder and president of Ignite America.
• 1:15:27
  S4: It's a ministry focused on getting Christians to ignite America
• 1:15:29
  S4: with revival, one person at a time. You have Ignite
• 1:15:32
  S4: Your Life television with a clear message that sharing your
• 1:15:36
  S4: faith at every opportunity turns everyday life into an adventure.
• 1:15:40
  S4: Tell us about one of your most recent adventures, sharing
• 1:15:43
  S4: your faith.
• 1:15:45
  S12: Oh my goodness. They haven't continue. I'm just at the
• 1:15:47
  S12: airport and checking in southwest representative and he got so
• 1:15:51
  S12: intrigued he says, can I walk you to your gate?
• 1:15:53
  S12: There's a lot of people behind me in line. I said, what?
• 1:15:56
  S12: He says, can I walk you to your gate? Well, sure.
• 1:15:58
  S12: We walked and we started sharing scripture as fast as
• 1:16:01
  S12: we could, all the way up to the TSA at
• 1:16:03
  S12: that point I said, can I pray for you? He says, yes.
• 1:16:06
  S12: So here we are praying together in a Holy Ghost prayer.
• 1:16:10
  S12: God came upon me at the end. He said, I
• 1:16:13
  S12: took a picture of your ticket. I said, why did
• 1:16:15
  S12: you do that? He says, Mr. Maguire, I'm going to
• 1:16:18
  S12: remember this conversation for the rest of my life.
• 1:16:21
  S2: Barry Maguire. Our guest right now, Barry. How can people
• 1:16:24
  S2: get started? I mean, because most people listen right now, frankly,
• 1:16:29
  S2: can't even join in to the joy of this. And
• 1:16:31
  S2: they might feel some condemnation, a little bit of shame. Like, man,
• 1:16:34
  S2: I don't get out there and share with people at
• 1:16:37
  S2: ticket counters and the like, how can we get a
• 1:16:40
  S2: toe in the water here?
• 1:16:41
  S12: Well, first off, I understand that fear comes from Satan. Uh,
• 1:16:45
  S12: if you're living in fear, you're telling God I don't
• 1:16:47
  S12: trust you, you know? And if you're living in fear,
• 1:16:50
  S12: you can't share your faith because you're conflicted. In fact,
• 1:16:53
  S12: from James one, he says, if you're double minded with fear,
• 1:16:56
  S12: then don't expect me to answer your prayers. So everything's
• 1:16:59
  S12: going south. But when you step in and understand that
• 1:17:03
  S12: everybody needs love and you can love on people, and
• 1:17:06
  S12: that ignites your life. And that's why I wrote this book,
• 1:17:09
  S12: Ignite Your Life, because that's exactly what it is. You
• 1:17:11
  S12: want to have your life ignited. You want to live
• 1:17:14
  S12: without fear. Do you want to know? Live every day
• 1:17:17
  S12: knowing God's direction, your steps, giving you joy every day.
• 1:17:21
  S12: Romans 828 he says, I'll make everything in your life
• 1:17:24
  S12: work together for good. When you love me and you
• 1:17:27
  S12: live for my purpose, that's your purpose. What's his purpose?
• 1:17:30
  S12: His purpose is to seek and save the lost. And
• 1:17:33
  S12: when you do that, the doors of heaven open up.
• 1:17:36
  S12: Because when you're doing it, your faith explodes and you're
• 1:17:39
  S12: in the Bible. That's the fun of being a Christian.
• 1:17:42
  S3: Barry McGuire.
• 1:17:43
  S4: You've painted such a such a beautiful picture of the
• 1:17:46
  S4: joy that can enter your life when you live like this.
• 1:17:50
  S4: Barry is the founder and president of Ignite America. Just
• 1:17:52
  S4: text ignite to 805 557898, ignite to 805 557898.