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Transcript

The Idol of Single Mothers · Goon Tavern

• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: According to the U.S.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: Census Bureau, one out of every four children are part of a single mother household.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: That means 23% of children in the U.S.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: live with a single mother, making it the second most common family arrangement after living with two parents.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: This didn't used to be the case, as up until the 1960s, children that were born as single mothers was only 8%.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_01: Now, single mothers have been perceived as heroes for a very long time in our society, and the church is no exception.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: However, here are a few things that haven't been considered.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Why is it that there are so many single mothers?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_01: Is it truly because men simply are abandoning their responsibilities?
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Something that mothers are better at raising children than men.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: Is it healthy for the church to in some ways praise single motherhood when it shouldn't be praised in the first place?
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_01: Is it healthy for the church to act like this is the new norm?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_01: These things are not easy to talk about, but they need to, because we cannot idolize single motherhood anymore in the church.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't good for children, and it isn't good for women either.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: When it comes to single mother household, no one wins.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody loses.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody, welcome to the Goon Tavern.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, as always, we have a bunch of notes here.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: And we're gonna get to it.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: I hope everyone is having a great day.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm having a great day.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: It was very hot today, uh, steamy 98 degrees, balmy.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a hot topic as well because it's probably gonna be what's the word?
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_01: Uh probably tick off a lot of people, I'm sure.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Probably make them mad because some things that we do have are golden idols that need to be uh taken down from time to time.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I believe this is one of them.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have some tea again.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Now, here's the thing like for decades, our culture has insisted that family structure does not matter.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: We have been told that as long as a child is loved, and then it doesn't matter, that the home is basically irrelevant of what that child lives in.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yet social science data paints a completely different picture than this.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: And single mother households are no exception to this.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, I'm not gonna give any disclaimers because I think a lot of times when people listen to these topics, they want to hear what they want to hear, and they don't listen to what is actually said.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then when it's not said, it's automatically assumed.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: You think this?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no, I am going to say what I exactly am going to say, and if you want to fill in the blank with any type of, you know, assumption, that's completely on you and not my problem.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_01: But the purpose of this topic is to ask some uncomfortable questions considering single mothers, not to mock those who are in the situation, to be clear.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: Rather, it is to ask whether our society, and sadly, many churches, have become unwilling to speak honestly about the consequences of sexual immorality.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_01: There's family breakdown and also parental response irresponsibility.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of times, you know, having grace doesn't require us to deny reality.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: I I want to repeat that one more time.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Having grace does not require us to deny reality.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times I think that's how the church thinks.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: They think if, like, uh, you got to show grace, it's like, okay, yeah, but let's not just abandon all reason just because we believe in grace at the same time.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: Kind of diving into like, you know, single motherhood, okay, which was kind of in the open, and we'll go a little deeper into some of these statistics.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: The rise of single motherhood has been one of the most dramatic social changes of the last century.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't even acknowledge it.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: Or we do see it, but we tend to think like, oh, well, that's just how it is.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: But as I mentioned, in in 1960, only about 8% of children lived in a single mother household.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_01: 8%.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: And today that is roughly 23% 23% of American children, all right.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_01: That's more than 15 million children are currently being raised in mother-only households.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: And out of all the single parent homes, 80% of them, 80% of single parent homes are headed by mothers, all right.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I I want you to just kind of sit with those numbers.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: They're huge, they're not something to just kind of brush over and be like, okay, well, whatever.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now, like if family structure truly does not matter, why have so many social problems accelerated alongside family fragmentation?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_01: And single mother households are at the front of it, unfortunately.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: They are now this is like most single mothers, okay.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Um to be fair, they're not divorced, but the number behind that is pretty close, all right.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: Now, contrary to popular belief, still 51% of single mothers have never been married.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: They have not had it where they are married, obviously, to a spouse or committed, they didn't have a wedding or anything, they uh shacked up, made a bad mistake, and they made poor choices and sinned.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so 51% are based on that alone when it comes to the reason for them being single mothers, all right.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, 29% are because of divorce, all right.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And the other percentage, 15% are single mothers because they are separated, and only 5% are because they are widowed, all right.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I mean, if you add this up too, though, there's another portion of this that is not uh considered.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: So, I mean, obviously, if you take 29 and 15 percent of divorce and separated, that is 44%.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And then if we look into because we have in the past discussed this before, we know that you know, women usually initiate divorce more often.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: So if you take, you know, obviously you do the math and everything, so approximately 35% of all single mothers may be single mothers because of basically initiating divorce.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: So of that 44%, which is the other big chunk, because honestly, divorce and separation a lot of the times are pretty similar.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, they're just different stages of what aneboli is going to happen most of the time at ending in a divorce.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_01: So if we take that 44% and 35% of that is women initiated, the question you have to ask yourself too is like, well, how often is that because of adultery or the father is abusive to the children or her or substance abuse or whatever?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: But we know that those numbers are pretty low for the reasons that women get divorced.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: So that isn't the case.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of these women within the 44% projectile of divorce and separation are doing this because of non-biblical reasons.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: They are basically creating an environment for their children that they are supposed to love to grow up in a fatherless household.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_01: And we don't really talk about that because that's actually holding women to the fire for their poor decision making and their sinful nature, and not actually, it's trying to freaking nail jello to the wall a lot of the times.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_01: Now, if you take obviously the other 51% of single mothers that have never married, that's just another cherry on top.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Because a lot of these single mothers, a small percentage, are probably because of you know sexual assault, which I'm sure some are gonna bring up.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it's because of basically bad choices.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: They choose a bad partner.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: They do not take the time to consider the gravitas of the idea that, oh, this orgasm that I'm about to experience could actually end up being not worth the 15 seconds of pleasure that I'm receiving, and it's gonna ruin the rest of my life, not only myself, but also my future prospects for relationships, for to get married, to find a good husband, but also my child, my unborn child, is gonna suffer in the process as well.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: And when we do not think of the consequences, it is easy to obviously engage in pleasure rather than think of the consequences that might come from that.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: And we're guilty of this.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: And single mothers are guilty of this.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Now, this means that the primary driver of single motherhood is not widowed or even divorced per se, although it's a pretty large chunk of the other side of the coin.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: It means there's a lot of bad decision making that's happened out there.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: You know, research by psychologist Michael Rosenfeld found women initiate divorce, 69 to 82 percent of divorces in the United States.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_01: So if this is the case, as I mentioned, I have a hard time believing that 69 to 82 percent of all divorces are because of abuse.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now, even if, let's say, the husband committed adultery, does that mean he's a bad father per se?
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now, some would argue and say, well, obviously, if he committed adultery, he doesn't care about his kids because he'd rather have an adultery to go on his wife, which destroyed the family in the first place.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, I agree.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of times the wounds that are created on the spouse or the mother in this case does not mean that that father was a terrible dad to his kids.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: Terrible husband um made a bad mistake mistake and needs to correct it.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: There could be grace.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um, who knows?
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_01: And the larger issue is children are being born outside of marriage, first and foremost.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and what does this say about our culture when most single motherhood begins before marriage ever takes place?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that just all goes back to feminism and the sexual revolution and its legacy, which is not a beautiful legacy to begin with.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_01: Approximately 40% of American births occur outside of marriage.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And society has increasingly normalized sexual detached from sex detached from commitment.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you have it where parenthood is detached from marriage now.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: You have personal fulfillment over family stability.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: In other words, you know, you want your sexual gratification rather than having a family that's stable.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: And the birth control pill is another element of this.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: This made women not choose their partner more wisely.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: It also allowed them to be promiscuous and to give in to their sexual sinful nature.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_01: And it just totally took the worry out of getting pregnant, which a lot of women, and it makes sense before the 60s, a lot of women were careful about choosing a mate.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: It wasn't like you just went to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, and you know, you just had sex with whoever you felt like it, because everybody knew that, like, oh, the consequences of having a kid and what could happen, it's not good.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: But that has been completely removed now because the abortion pill has only just revealed what sin nature already exists in the heart of women before it even was on the store shelves.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I say that because that's just the truth of the situation.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of times, Satan will allow us to have the least amount of responsibility when it comes to our sinful flesh.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the birth control pill is just one that just reveals what is already in the hearts of women to begin with.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_01: Sexual gratification, no responsibility.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: I can be as promiscuous as a man can without the worry of getting pregnant.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Let's burn our bras and let's get on with it.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that is what took place in the 60s.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, we obviously know the Christian worldview.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's the complete opposite.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_01: Christians, you know, understand that sex belongs inside of a covenant in marriage between a man and a woman, not between two homos.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Children deserve to have both parents.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: That is how it was designed.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Even the secular world acknowledges this, even though they try to pretend it's not so.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Actions obviously have consequences.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where I kind of go back to like what I mentioned, how like grace does not dismiss the reality of consequences.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: But a lot of times I think as Christians, we kind of brush over that part.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's why we're in the state that we are in right now where the popularity of single mothers has become so huge and so ramped that we have completely like abandoned our roots in this area to become way too soft, to the point of where it has been completely detrimental to the whole situation that we have right now, which is single mother households.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: And the sexual uh you know revolution promised freedom, but it didn't deliver stability.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_01: And women, unfortunately, they ran with it and embraced it.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: I will not be held down by a man, I can be as promiscuous as I want.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: You know, to be a mother is slavery, to be a wife is basically gonna be where I'm chained to the kitchen, and I cannot have any creativity and I have no ability.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: This isn't a lie that we've been told, people.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it's amazing.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Up until like the 60s, for most of history, human history, it has always been considered the norm to have a family where the wife runs the household and the kids and the father provides and protects.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's always been that way.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: It's only been recently that we have actually charged to do this stupid experiment, and obviously the results are in, folks.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: Let's look at the results.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: What do we have here?
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: So let's see the main question.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Did modern culture underestimate the importance of marriage before children?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Our survey says ding ding ding ding ding ding.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it did.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_01: It did very much.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: It sucked, completely sucked.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so here's some of the things, you know, like many cases of single parenthood involve choices made in earlier years, okay, choosing partners poorly, ignoring the warning signs, prior prioritizing attraction over the person's character, having children outside of the covenant of marriage, okay.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And a Christian worldview is compassionate, of course.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: But we also believe in accountability.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: At least I thought we did, but it seems like today it's kind of like, oh well, yeah, that happens, you know.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: And i I've seen it where there's this idea that like life is precious and life is a gift, but I don't think that Christians need to immediately just jump on the bandwagon when someone has a child out of wedlock and be like, This is the greatest thing ever.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: This is so awesome, you're gonna have a child.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: This is great.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_01: But do we also understand, like, the church needs to take a moment to grieve?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: She needs to take a moment to grieve over our sin.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean that we need to wallow in forever that there isn't grace and redemption, but come on.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: If we make sin easy, as the birth control pill has done, as Satan wants us to do, is it working out for us?
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: And the modern tendency is to speak endlessly about victimhood rather than avoiding responsibility.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we're doing.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: We are basically avoiding responsibility and we are holding on to the victimhood mentality.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of times, I think what happens with single mothers is that's the only lens that we see it through, is that they are a victim.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Look, you know, men make mistakes as well, but we do not view it all the time that way.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the time, we said, well, that person was a bonehead, that dad, you know, messed up.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, he was stupid, blah, blah, blah.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_01: But whenever it comes to, and as I've talked about in our last episode about like redeemed whores, is that we tend to think that no responsibility rests on the shoulders of women when it comes to their own sin.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_01: We tend to real quickly try to avoid talking about the responsibility and the accountability part and go very quickly to the grace part.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't mean that we're not supposed to be like, I mean, here's a question: can we extend grace while still encouraging people to take responsibility for life-altering decisions?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, we can.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: And we should.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_01: We should tell people do not touch the stove, you're gonna get burned and it's gonna suck.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: And why is it that we tend to think it is good to praise the sin of having a child out of wedlock?
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes it it is praised in a way.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so we say, Well, that's not exactly what we're saying, that's not the entirely the case, but in some ways we kind of do, we really do kind of do, because that doesn't mean like the child when it arrives, we're not happy because a new life has come into the world, but it is a tragedy, it really is a tragedy, and it should not be among the ranks of Christians as much as it is, as I pointed out in past episodes.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: When you have it where five to ten percent of all couples are virgins on their wedding night, we should be sounding the alarm, we should be circling the wagons.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: When was the last time you talked about purity with the church?
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: When was the last time you talked about purity in your youth groups that are apparently supposed to be teaching them about God?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: But yet you don't think that like these kids that are going through puberty are not wanting to experiment and not tempted to actually do things that they know they shouldn't be doing if these things are not talked about regularly, and I mean regularly at the minimum once a year.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, I have my own opinions about youth group as well as if it's the best thing per se to actually separate the ages of people in the church, but that's another topic.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_01: But the church has softened its message, it didn't used to be this way, and of course, everyone thinks like you know, softening a message and doesn't mean that we run over the idea of forgiveness and grace, but I think sometimes as Christians, if we don't paint out the consequences for something, people aren't gonna understand why not to touch the stove.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_01: They're just not.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: You can't just I mean, think about it.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: You you if you had kids, excuse me, and you just tell them it's like don't have sex.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, why?
• 21:28
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you should you just shouldn't do it.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: Well, how come?
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, because you could uh one in four women have an STD, the possibility of you getting pregnant, screwing up the rest of your life, your finances, your ambitions, your goals, your dreams, it's all gonna be centered now around being an adult way quicker than you intend to because you're irresponsible and immature.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: There.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: There's the reason, okay?
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, it's like like far fewer preach about chastity, sexuality.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh discipline, what does that look like?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: There's also a talk of like weak male leadership or headship in the church is not talked about properly.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: Female uh discernment in choosing a husband, uh, and obviously uh marriage having marriage before you have children.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_01: And these are things that used to be staples, they used to be pillars in the church.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I think we tend to think that, you know, they're probably hearing about it somewhere.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, they are in public schools with their friends.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: You don't think that these young girls are not hearing garbage from their friends that might be secular, especially in public schools?
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: What do you think they're being taught about their sexuality?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, come on, parents, you really think that five days out of the week, you know, about like, you know, eight hours per day, and then they go to Sunday school for a few hours or youth group a couple hours per week, and that's just gonna deprogram them.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think so.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that's gonna happen, folks.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta think a different way, gotta think outside the box.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: And uh granted, the church should be a place for grace, but grace without truth becomes sentimentality.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: It really does.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: It just becomes this like default.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but the problem is it's it's kind of like a two uh one side of the gospel.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, we want to talk about forgiveness, but there's also judgment, there is also consequences, there's righteousness.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: And if we don't talk about both of those, we are doing a disservice to our youth, and we're doing a disservice to women in our church because we are basically not being responsible as pastors to do so.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: And women need to realize that hey, you have a responsibility before God, you are held accountable to your maker for your decisions and what makes and what happens.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, you know, some would say, like, oh, this is just about bashing, you know, single mothers.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, but you don't understand what they've gone through and how hard it is.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: Look, you're right.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not a single mother, but I know that any single mother that's listening to this right now knows how hard it is.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm pretty sure if she could talk to her younger self, if I was giving this message to her younger self, she wished she heard it.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_01: So let that sink in.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think sometimes we tend to always think that like the harshness of truth is sometimes the one thing that is gonna keep you from doing something that you regret the rest of your life.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta realize that, you know, we you gotta say the hard things now.
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_01: You you don't want to say it later.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: You don't want to have it where it's like, you know, like, oh, your your kid, you don't tell your kid to touch the stove, or you don't explain how dangerous it is.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: Or it's it's like an adult that uh collects guns but doesn't teach their kids proper firearm safety.
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: And then their kid ends up shooting one of their uh friends that's a neighbor's kid accidentally because they're playing around, or the kid uh has the gun go off and he injures himself.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's just like sex is a dangerous weapon if it's not talked about properly.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: And who's teaching your kids about sex?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: You or the world?
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like who are they hearing it from the most?
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um now children flourish most in obviously two parent households.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: You know, a mom and a dad.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Not too gays, not too lesbians, all right.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: None of this, like, you know, these fags that want to act like there's oh, we love children.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: No, we're done with this crap.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's disgusting, it's gross, and it needs to stop because it's not good for children.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a whole nother topic, but uh, we all know it's not helping.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: But here are some things that are considered the overwhelming body of research shows that children raised by a married mother and father experience obviously low poverty rates, better education outcomes, lower incarceration rates, lower teen pregnancy rates, interesting, uh, better mental health outcomes, and higher future earnings.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, this doesn't mean that every two-parent household is healthy, because obviously there can be bad ones, but it is the best solution overall.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: And that means that statistically, uh stable two-parent homes remain the strongest environment for child's flourishing.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Not too gays, not too lesbians.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, sorry, LGBT pervert group, you lose, you lose.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now, why does why does society often resist conclusions that have become increasingly clear in research?
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's funny, it it these are the ones that always talk about like we believe in science.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: Well, not that science, because that science shows us that the perverts uh actually aren't good parents and it's not the best for children.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: Oh screw that.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: We're not gonna use that one.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: So it's like it's a joke when these people want to say they believe in science.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's all about, you know, whatever they want it to be.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now, let's move into this.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, like what about fatherlessness?
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_01: Fatherlessness has consequences.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: Many social problems track closely with father absence.
• 27:40
  SPEAKER_01: You have poverty, delinquency, school failure rate, criminal behavior, emotional instability, identifying struggles.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_01: And these are things, all those things that I just mentioned, those are the results of single mother households because a father is not around.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now, a percentage of those, sure, are based on, you know, that there are probably some fathers that aren't in the picture or they have abandoned chip.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_01: But a small percentage of those, that is the case.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_01: These ladies have put themselves in these situations because of their choices.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's no different than if a man got a woman pregnant.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, it takes two to tango.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_01: So it doesn't mean that, like, you know, like, oh, well, I didn't know, and I thought he had said, and I thought he loved me, blah, blah, blah.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't know that it was going to turn out like this.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_01: No, no.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_01: I call BS.
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's not true.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because we know, like, you know, fathers provide what?
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_01: Protection, provision, discipline, identity, modeling of masculinity.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: Something that everyone keeps on saying, like, that's a toxic masculinity, that's the problem.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: All these, like, you know, purple-haired lesbians that don't even have children think this way.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: So what?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: A society that minimizes fathers eventually pays the price, and we're paying the price right now because we have allowed women to raise our children, not having fathers in the picture, and we are now reaping the consequences.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: And the issue, uh, another of this that I wanted to address is also parental alienation and family courts.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_01: And this is another uncomfortable reality that deserves a discussion.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, is the role of the family courts, custody disputes, parental alienation can play in separating children from their fathers that love them.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: Not all father absence occurs because a father is unwilling and just abandoned their children.
• 29:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's not the case.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, in some of these cases, fathers become less involved because of hostile custody battles uh that make access difficult.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_01: As we had a previous episode that just discussed the family court system, all right.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you have parental alienation that causes children to view their father negatively because the mother will basically talk badly about their father around the children when they are with her during her parental time.
• 30:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I have I've heard countless stories like this.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: You have also uh divorce uh litigation that creates ongoing conflict between parents.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: So anytime there's a uh disagreement on uh let's say it's uh holidays or oh, I want them for this birthday or I'd like to take them on this trip, it will just continue.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: It will never end, and it never does end.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people think that, you know, like a lot of these divorce cases that eventually a judge just decides, okay, this is your time, this is your time, and that's it, and you're done.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: No, it doesn't, it just continues on forever.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_01: It could it can go on seriously forever until the kid obviously is an adult, and that happens because the courts make a lot of money off of it, as well as the lawyers.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's they're not there for your benefit.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then as a result of it, fathers become discouraged after repeated legal and financial struggles because they go bankrupt trying to fight to see their children, their rightful blood, their children.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: You also have it, or sometimes relocation and custody arrangements limit the uh meaningful involvement of the father.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: And children should never become ammunition in a war between parents.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: Ever.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, it's just wicked and evil.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: And when a father is loving and involved and committed to his children, every effort should be made to preserve that relationship, but the courts don't care because we have a court system that is feminist, we have a legal system that is feminist, that we have believed basically that women are the best parent and that men are basically expendable.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: And what it's basically become is like it's just basically the goal is to basically merely make sure the child has child support payments.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's the goal.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, the goal, the goal should be uh fathers who are parents that are engaged and actively are participating in the lives of their children.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_01: That should be the goal, not just child support.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Not one good father should have to pay to be a father, or have to have some third party basically decide how he is able to even raise his children, which happens far so often when it comes to either therapy or psychiatric drugs.
• 32:45
  SPEAKER_01: And the father will give his opinion, but because some bimbo in the psychology department says, Well, I think that the child should probably be put on drugs, and you know who's gonna their side with the quote-unquote expert.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's always good to just put kids on depressants, that always fixes everything.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not one good father should have to prove that they should be allowed to parent.
• 33:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's wrong.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of wicked mothers out there that I know that actually are a part of this, and and and a question I asked is like, how often are children depraved of healthy relationships because their fathers, uh, with with their fathers, because mothers prioritiz conflict over their child's well-being.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it happens a lot.
• 33:31
  SPEAKER_01: A lot.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_01: Mothers can become very bitter, and they will demonize the father and the dad at all cost, and they don't care if they use their kids' well-being spiritually, emotionally, they will use their kids as pawns, if necessary, to get back at the father, whether he's done something wrong or not.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter.
• 33:53
  SPEAKER_01: And here's a crazy thing that no one knows about, all right?
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: Did you know that single father homes often perform better or equal?
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: Research often finds that children in single-father households perform similarly to, or sometimes better, than children in single mother households.
• 34:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh-oh.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: Wait a second.
• 34:20
  SPEAKER_01: I always thought that it was just the stupid, dumb men that don't know what they're doing and they don't know how to raise kids because, you know, the ability for them to, you know, even like, you know, make sure that their kids are dressed on Sunday when the women are over at, you know, their retreat, that's just impossible for that to actually take place.
• 34:38
  SPEAKER_01: But the truth is, no, it's not the case.
• 34:42
  SPEAKER_01: Single mothers, considering how kids do better, these are some of the reasons you have it where a higher average of household income, you have greater family stability, different disciplinary patterns, because a lot of times women are softer when it comes to discipline than men are.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: So when you have better discipline, what does that do?
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_01: Better grades.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: The likelihood of getting involved in crime is less.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: The ability to have it where you have a firm father figure in your life, it changes the projectory drastically.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, greater likelihood of continued involvement from extended family.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_01: This doesn't mean you know that like mothers are not necessary, but it's the point is that fatherhood matters far more than the modern culture often wants to admit.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: They don't want to admit it.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because we have to demonize men.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Men are the enemy, they are the ones that are the problem.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: And if we can just lessen them and demasculate them, castrate them, get them out of the kids' lives, what is that gonna do?
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna make everything, oh yeah.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna make everything suck, like it is right now.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, what lessons can society learn from the outcomes observed in homes where fathers remain highly involved?
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's there.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: And to into this next point, you know, it's like we have different standards for men and women, you know, like modern society frequently speaks about male responsibility, and far less often does it discuss female responsibility.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: Women possess options where men do not, okay?
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: And this list that I'm gonna give you is not to promote these things, but let's just take abortion.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: The man has no say in the matter.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_01: Adoption placement, the man has no say in the matter, especially if they're not married.
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh safe haven surrender laws, where you can drop a kid off at, let's say, a fire department or a safety uh child drop box.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_01: The man has no say in the matter.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_01: But yet, meanwhile, men can become financially responsible for a child regardless of their wishes.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, am I basically saying that we need more deadbeat dads?
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: No, that's not what I'm saying at all.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's just don't give me this equality crap.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: Women have far more options than men do, even when it comes to battered women shelters.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know that there's only a few?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: There's over 2,000 women battered shelters in the entire United States.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know how many there are for men?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_01: There's two.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_01: Two men batter centers.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: Because we don't believe men are actually abused.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's impossible.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: That never happens that men can be abused.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because women are always angels.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, whether one agrees with these policies or not, they create different realities and responsibilities for men and women.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: They just naturally do.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: Men are usually always on the hook.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Well, women have a lot of get out of jail free cards.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, let's just take it.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_01: How many women, when they falsely accuse men of rape or sexual assault and it comes out being negative, are they ever charged with anything?
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, let's just see.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let's go back in time for just some some supreme courtesy.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, Clarence Thomas, was uh his accuser of sexual assault?
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_01: Was she ever prosecuted?
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 38:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, what about Blasey Ford with uh Kavanaugh?
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_01: Did that ever uh see the light of day?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: Was there ever, you know, even though uh it turned out that there was no evidence?
• 38:16
  SPEAKER_01: Did she ever get charged?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, not at all.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_01: A healthy society should encourage responsibility from both sexes rather than placing the burden primarily on one.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that that is basically what's happening right now.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: Another, like, you know, question to ask herself does modern culture hold men and women equally accountable for decisions that create children?
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I would say no, absolutely not.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: Dads, I mean, here's the thing a dad has no say if he gets a woman pregnant, okay, and he says, you know what, hey, I'll keep the kid, I'll take care of the kid.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: You you don't have to have any responsibility, just have the kid and carry to term.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: He has no say in that.
• 39:01
  SPEAKER_01: He can beg all he wants, she can do whatever she wants with it.
• 39:05
  SPEAKER_01: It's just wicked.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_01: She can kill his offspring, she can put his offspring, 50% of the child, up for adoption without his say.
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_01: She can drop it off and abandon it if she wants to.
• 39:20
  SPEAKER_01: Any man who did these things, if men were able to give abortions, the women would be screaming in the streets of like how evil men are to kill unborn children.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: But yet women do it all the time.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: They are the mass murderers of people more than men.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: They kill their unborn children every single day in this nation.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_01: And of course, we make excuses for that too.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: They just didn't understand, they didn't know the consequences.
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: I think I remember one time I saw something uh on these uh stupid pro board sites, and it said uh consenting to sex does not consent to pregnancy.
• 40:06
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's that's a moron statement.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: You play adult games, you get adult prizes.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, moving on.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: On this line, uh another point, like you know, truth and compassion can and must coexist, especially with Christians.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: Christians should reject pretending family structure does not matter.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't say necessarily that the church directly says that.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: They would say if you asked them, but when we kind of glorify praise and uplift certain characteristics that are not something that should be praised, it gives the impression that hey, you know, if I mess up, my church family is still gonna love me, and they should, but understand though, there should be some consequences, there should be weight to sin.
• 40:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because trust me, there was a heavy weight put on Christ at the cross, a very heavy weight, and it should be taken lightly.
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I I want to be very clear here.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: I am not uh the thing is the the biblical position is this you know, sin is real, all right.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: Consequences are real, all right, and forgiveness is real and redemption is well real as well.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: And a person can make poor decisions and still be worthy of compassion, however, compassion should not require denying the consequences of those decisions.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: So when ladies, you know, are surprised.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because here's the thing that, you know, I kind of mentioned earlier in another podcast, and I'll kind of reiterate it.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of Christian ladies, you know, have put themselves in this situation, it is their decisions that they have made that have put them in this predicament.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that needs to be acknowledged first.
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: And ladies, if you're wanting to get remarried, you cannot have the attitude where your kids are going to become first before the new husband that is willing to marry you.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm sorry, I see a lot of single mothers, that's what they do.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_01: They think they should be rescued, they have a right to be rescued, they have a right to be basically relieved of this burden.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes with our sin, that doesn't happen.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes we are, we have to, what is the word they usually say?
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you have to sleep in the bed that you make.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: And that doesn't mean that your relationship with God can't flourish.
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean that you can't grow, it doesn't mean that you can be an example to other women, like, hey, do not do what I did.
• 42:58
  SPEAKER_01: This was a bad decision.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_01: Girl, girlfriend, you think that boy really loves you?
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: He don't love you one bit, he don't care about you one bit.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_01: And don't you dare go out with him.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_01: And you better be back for 09.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_01: You understand me?
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: Something like that.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: That's the thing.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I mean, I just think that, you know, when it comes to, you know, single mothers, a lot of times, like they sadly, without even saying, they are looking for basically uh the main part of a man and that is provider because they're tired.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry to say it, but it's true.
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_01: And single ladies, if you're wanting to change the attitude of that, especially men to consider you, you have to look at him as being your husband and not second.
• 43:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's unbiblical.
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: You cannot look at your new to be husband as like, well, my kids will always come first.
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if your kids are always coming first, that's idolatry.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_01: And the other problem with it is that's not biblical because you should.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Be putting your spouse first, which is your husband.
• 44:03
  SPEAKER_01: You should be honoring his leadership, his role as the head of the house, and you are to submit to him and honor him as a helper.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's what you're supposed to do.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so I can't help but think of it.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_01: These single mothers have still not learned what a biblical woman is.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Why?
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: Ladies, you have a Bible just like anyone else.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_01: Read it, study it, talk to older women, stop making excuses for your ignorance and actually do something with it.
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: I I can't say this more clearly.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I say it because, yes, it is a little tough love.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I know these words probably sting, but I could just lie to you and say, you know what?
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: You're just gonna find a guy that's just gonna love you for who you are, and he's gonna love your litter from three different baby mommy daddies, you know, and uh there's gonna be no problems, so don't worry, because you have value, and don't you worry about that.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's just not reality, it's just not reality, and so because we haven't been honest from the beginning with women, and women haven't been honest with themselves of the consequences of their actions, this is the result, and so then what do we do?
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: We just uh, well, we're gonna just throw down more, we're just gonna then tell single mothers that they have value and that they are worthy of a happy family relationship and to find a spouse, and God's gonna bring them someone because some guy is gonna come in and rescue you as a simp and a white knight.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's not helping anyone.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't it be better if we were just honest and up front from the beginning with ourselves?
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: If the if we actually taught what God's word said with conviction and make it clear to ourselves that we train our daughters in the word, fathers.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I I think you know, like women are being women just don't have like you know, good role models, for one, which doesn't help, but it doesn't make any excuses either.
• 46:25
  SPEAKER_01: So, ladies, here's your warning, and then you have to be held accountable to it.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: Still, your bad decisions, you still have to have accountability.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: There's still responsibility that you have to take.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think many times, a lot of times with single mothers, is like they will try to avoid difficulty at all cost, and the results also, as we've talked about, even when it comes to marriage, how women will very quickly abandon a marriage the second it gets really difficult and hard because they're the ones that initiate divorce most of the time.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm unhappy, I don't like this, I don't like how he does this.
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: He's he's you know, he's not uh treating me well.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, that can be difficult.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: At the same time, like what does God call us to do?
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: To have grace, to have forgiveness, to try to set the example of like what God has called you to be as a wife.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think a lot of these single mothers are just being fed a lot of fluff, and it's not really helping them at all.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um and women stop listening to it there, but you gotta take responsibility for your actions.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_01: I can't let you off the hook there.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: Don't choose a terrible spouse, don't have sex with someone that you know is not your husband.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 47:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you, Lily.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: If absence is so silly and stupid and outdated, why would we ever want to do that?
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_01: That's stupid.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: Oh gosh, I remember this.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is no kidding, okay?
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_01: Uh there was a Planned Parenthood booth, all right, at uh Earth Day, and they had a uh a pamphlet out of all things that Planned Parented, and it on the front of it said avoiding pregnancy.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_01: And you know what it had on the first list of line?
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's it said abstinence.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what it said underneath it?
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_01: This threw me for loops.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: Abstinence is a hundred percent effective of not actually getting pregnant.
• 48:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, wow, no crap.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: No kidding.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: Not having sex won't get pregnant.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: And let's just go down the list of all the benefits, okay?
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: Not having sex, don't worry about STDs.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: Playing Russian roulette with your health.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um, especially when you have one out of four women have STDs.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: Not getting pregnant, having it where you're bound to another person that you probably didn't care for, might have had a hot body, but who cares?
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_01: Not having it where you are locked in, pretty much, where you can't plan your life now.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_01: It's all planned around a kid that you weren't ready for.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: Not only financially, emotionally, spiritually.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: The list goes on.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, where are the benefits?
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: Where show me where a 10-second orgasm that's more important than all these other things that can possibly go wrong?
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're a fool.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be a fool, don't be stupid.
• 49:35
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 49:37
  SPEAKER_01: So, overall, the data consisting points in one direction.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_01: Children do best raised by a married mother and father in a stable home.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_01: And they do well under father, uh, single-father homes.
• 49:53
  SPEAKER_01: But that just is one thing that I think I wanted to dismantle because we have glorified the idea that single mothers do the best, and they don't.
• 50:01
  SPEAKER_01: Sorry, they don't.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_01: Statistically, it has shown that a single father household they do equally or as good as a couple with a child who is raised by a mother and a father.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that's just truth, okay?
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: You can do whatever you want with that, but I think that's because there is an element of masculinity with discipline, structure that women and men need growing up.
• 50:34
  SPEAKER_01: And a father has that element more than just a mother by herself.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_01: Doesn't mean that there's not single mothers out there that can't be good mothers, but the difficulty of it because of that element of masculinity that is absent is the reason why it sucks so much.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, of course, the church should support widows, abandoned spouses, and single parents who are doing their best.
• 51:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, single fathers and mothers, but it should also have the courage to proclaim what scripture has common sense that is taught for generations, that has worked, that has worked.
• 51:13
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, since the 60s, we have had now how long is experience now?
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's like 40, 50, 66 years now.
• 51:21
  SPEAKER_01: This experiment, it's not working out for us.
• 51:24
  SPEAKER_01: We need to get back to the basics.
• 51:27
  SPEAKER_01: Marriage matters, sexual integrity matters.
• 51:31
  SPEAKER_01: It is a shame that only five to ten percent of Christian couples are both virgins on their wedding night.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: It is an absolute shame.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_01: Fathers matter, mothers matter, children deserve both whenever possible.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes that might be also some mothers swallowing their pride when having the temptation to just abandon the marriage so easily, which they do.
• 52:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then they create the their own mud puddle and they sit in it, and then they act like, why is it I'm dirty?
• 52:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, well, because uh you dug the hole, you put the water in it, you stirred it with the shovel, and then you sat in it, and then you act all surprised of why your life is so screwed up.
• 52:18
  SPEAKER_01: And a culture that ignores these truths does so at its own peril.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the answer is not necessarily condemnation per se, but being honest that sin has consequences.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_01: Let's just get back to that.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: Let's stop pretending that it doesn't.
• 52:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um the answer is truth, responsibility, repentance, restoration, and a renewed commitment to God's design for the family, which is so fragile right now.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_01: It is so fragile.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: And I know this is difficult to talk about because there are a lot of ladies in this situation, but if I would rather be truthful to the circumstances and what will happen if ladies aren't told the truth, and I'm sorry, I love women more than a lot of pastors out there, in my opinion, because I will tell you the truth and the reality of your actions and what will take place as a result.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_01: I just did for about an hour now.
• 53:23
  SPEAKER_01: So you can be mad at me all you want, I don't care, but when you are single and alone with one or two kids, because you didn't heed what was said right now, it is not my fault.
• 53:40
  SPEAKER_01: I hope that makes sense.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_01: I am gonna get out of here and need to go to bed because I don't know, I got work tomorrow, but that's besides the point.
• 53:55
  SPEAKER_01: Overall, stick to God's word, hold yourself accountable for your actions and understand that there's a god that wants what's best for you right now if you're hearing this.
• 54:09
  SPEAKER_01: So go out and do the right thing, fight the enemy at all costs, and don't back down.