Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / Arbitrarily Ruthless with Ed Helms

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Arbitrarily Ruthless with Ed Helms · Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, how I see.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: I'm great. I'm great.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: I just got back from a few days in Mexico
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: with some of my girlfriends and I love getting away
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: with my girlfriends.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: Oh nice, where'd you go in Mexico?
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: We went to kan Kun.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: We've got like a few hotels that we go to
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: and they just opened up a brand new ones.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: We went to their brand new one. It was fantastic.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Nice. Nice. I am in Europe, you, guys. I am
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: in Parie, Grand Parie or great Peri And I'm never
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: really sure how you say it, gayperi, gaperi.
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: Guys.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: Of course my husband would get that one.
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: And we're having a hell of a time.
• 0:37
  Speaker 5: I'm with Molly, my cousin, Yaminika, Eric my tour manager
• 0:41
  Speaker 5: who we call Erica, and I have shows coming up
• 0:44
  Speaker 5: in Brussels as I'm in Brussels on May seventeenth, I'm
• 0:47
  Speaker 5: in Amsterdam on May eighteenth, and then Oslo on May nineteenth.
• 0:52
  Speaker 5: And I have managed to keep my shit together in
• 0:54
  Speaker 5: Europe so far, so good, right, Yes, and we've.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Adjusted to the time.
• 0:59
  Speaker 5: We had three days in Rekuvic and we and yeah,
• 1:02
  Speaker 5: we're ready to rumble. So we're getting it all in.
• 1:05
  Speaker 5: We're getting it all in. I've been reading lots of
• 1:07
  Speaker 5: books on my flights. Yes, I'm just a happy camper,
• 1:11
  Speaker 5: very happy.
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: We'll do a little miniso soon with a round up
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: of all the books you've been reading and can recommend.
• 1:15
  Speaker 5: Okay, wonderful, wonderful, And our guest today, you know from
• 1:19
  Speaker 5: the Office and The Hangover movies, he has a new
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: book called Snap Foo, The Definitive Guide to History's Greatest
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: screw Ups. It is out now and it's very enjoyable.
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: Please welcome actor, comedian and writer Ed helms Hi. Ed
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: helms I ran into Ed recently. We were in Where
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: were we? Oh, we were in Austin, right south by Southwest.
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: I had I had podcast towards.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right.
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: We weread I had Pasta Pasta Awards, the Pasta Awards.
• 1:47
  Speaker 5: We were talking about all of your credits, but you
• 1:49
  Speaker 5: missed that conversation. We were talking about where all people
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: would know you from places like The Hangover, the Office,
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: the Vacation Reboot movie, the Daily Show.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: Were you a correspondent on the day.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was a correspondent from two thousand and two
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: to two thousand and six.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: I forgot about that one. I forgot that you did that.
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: I mean it was I made a huge impact. It was.
• 2:13
  Speaker 6: No.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: Actually, it was a pretty incredible time because it was
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: the w years and there was a chunk of time
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: there where it was just Colbert, Me, Corderie and Sam
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: b were the four correspondents and it was a hell
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: of a lot of fun and an unbelievable amount of work,
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Like it almost broke me.
• 2:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, Do you ever think that you wish you
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: were doing that during this kind of administration?
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: No?
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: Never, I don't either. It's too much garbage to talk
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: about all.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: It's too overwhelming. John goes on once a week now
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: and absolutely crushes it, and I love it, and the
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: other the other correspondents now also host the show for
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: the rest of the week, which I think is a
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: great format because it, like yeah, gets the it really
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: builds the I don't know the communal vibe of the show.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: They're killing it. It's so good. I'm going to leave
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: it to them.
• 3:06
  Speaker 5: And I don't want to sound sexist right now, but
• 3:08
  Speaker 5: I just want to say, since women are allowed to
• 3:10
  Speaker 5: talk about men in this way now, because you guys
• 3:13
  Speaker 5: had your way with us.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I just want to say that you've had some sort
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: of glow up.
• 3:18
  Speaker 5: And I don't want to sound condescending or patronizing it
• 3:20
  Speaker 5: in a way, but I just want to say, you've
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: burst into manhood.
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: In such a way.
• 3:24
  Speaker 5: And I think I told you this that the iHeart
• 3:26
  Speaker 5: Podcast Awards. But you really look very handsome, your hair,
• 3:31
  Speaker 5: You've taken off the glasses.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: I'm very debonair almost. I want to say, all right.
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: All right, yeah, well I finally went through puberty.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I think that's what I was. Yeah, that's what I
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: was getting to.
• 3:43
  Speaker 5: I was like, have you gone through it feels like
• 3:45
  Speaker 5: you must have hit it late and that you hit
• 3:48
  Speaker 5: it hard.
• 3:49
  Speaker 4: Can I tell you something. I just turned fifty, First
• 3:50
  Speaker 4: of all, I really appreciate you saying that. And I
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: just turned fifty. Well I'm a little over a year ago, so.
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: I'm fifty one day fifty one.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: But uh, I'm still in my head. I just turned fifty,
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: and I I just kind of I'm like healthier than
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: I've ever been. I don't know, I'm eating so much better,
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: I'm more active. I also have two little kids that
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: keep me like very much on my toes.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: Have you dot maternity test for the children?
• 4:18
  Speaker 4: No, why should I just to make sure.
• 4:20
  Speaker 5: You're their father. I mean, yeah, why wouldn't you should?
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: Why wouldn't I? Yeah, because I'm pretty sure I'm their dad.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's not one hundred guarantee.
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: Wait, what are you doing? You're just lobbing doubt into
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: my my long term marriage out there.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I just want you to be you know, have all
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: the information. I don't know that you.
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: Do arbitrarily ruthless thing to just like throw into a conversation,
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: have you had a paternity? Is good?
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: I like that, right, I like that combo platter.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: You would also know ed Helms from his podcast because
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: it's called Snaphu, just like his new book that's out.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: It's called Snaphoo, which.
• 5:01
  Speaker 5: Is a great book to have around the house, and
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: I would eat Catherine even suggested to have in your bathroom.
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: It's a perfect bathroom.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: It's a perfect hardrom book.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: I'm not judging. Read it anywhere you want, and it's
• 5:13
  Speaker 4: and you're right, Actually it is a good bathroom book
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: because it's so episodic. Right, it's Snapfoo, the Definitive Guide
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: to History's Greatest screw ups, and each chapter is a
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: different historical screw up. So yeah, it's perfect. If you
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: got five minutes here, just pick up, read a few pages, enjoy.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: Might even help get things moving. I don't know.
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, I mean it is it's a very relaxing book
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: because I mean, and it's very interesting. I mean, you're
• 5:38
  Speaker 5: a big history buff and you kind of take all
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: of history's blunders and talk about them.
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Not all of them, but I mean, who could count
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: all of them?
• 5:47
  Speaker 5: I mean, can you imagine what's going to happen after
• 5:49
  Speaker 5: this administration in one hundred years when people, I mean,
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: if they're still the planet and people can reflect. This
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: is a great piece of This book is comprised of
• 5:58
  Speaker 5: lots of stuff that nobody I mean, what I've read
• 6:02
  Speaker 5: so far, none of these stories I've ever heard, so
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: it's very interesting.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: I of course was drawn to the LSD story immediately.
• 6:10
  Speaker 7: You go.
• 6:10
  Speaker 5: Let me just read the title of that chapter or
• 6:13
  Speaker 5: the caption for that chapter. In the nineteen fifties, a
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: CIA scientists secretly bought the entire world supply of LSD,
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: embarking on a horrific attempt to discover the secrets to
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: mind control.
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: Mm hmmm, yeah, that's the story of mk Ultra, which
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: a lot of people know it's a relatively out there incident.
• 6:36
  Speaker 4: But yeah, Sidney Gottlieb was this CIA scientist who just
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: started drugging people, and George white Wash one of his underlings,
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: who actually, this is so insane. This was all under
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: like official government activity. They built a apartment in San
• 6:55
  Speaker 4: Francisco that had a double wall with a glass mirror
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: where he could sit there and watch, and he had
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: sex workers bring customers back and then they would drug
• 7:05
  Speaker 4: these customers and presumably also have their sexy time, and
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: he was just sort of taking notes and god knows
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: what else behind this double mirror. And this was all
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: in the name.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Of science, your tax dollars at work.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: Your tax dollars. And at the end of it, when
• 7:21
  Speaker 4: it was all exposed, they came clean, like we actually
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: gathered zero scientific data from this. It's like, this guy,
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: we learned nothing behind a wall.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: It does, and so I don't know why, And so
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: I don't like the way it besmirches LSD's reputation, you
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: know what I mean, Why did LSD have to be
• 7:39
  Speaker 5: involved in this?
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: This guy was just trying to get his rocks off.
• 7:41
  Speaker 5: When I read this, I was like, where does LSD
• 7:43
  Speaker 5: even come into play that you're able to control someone
• 7:45
  Speaker 5: sexually via LSD.
• 7:48
  Speaker 4: Well, there was a big LSD was so new, and
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: there was there was this sort of like international competition
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: with the Soviets, like the Cold War was flaring up,
• 7:57
  Speaker 4: like is mind control a weapon that we can use?
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: Or is LSD maybe this crazy truth serum like how
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: does it affect people? And can we weaponize it or
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: use it in advantageous ways? And yes, it just devolved
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: into like a guy jerking off behind a glass mirror,
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: like watching people. And it's so much darker than that too,
• 8:17
  Speaker 4: Like they wound up drugging prisoners. They wound up drugging
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: people that they would go into bars and drug people
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: and then observe them for hours afterwards and just basically
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: watch them melt down on these crazy acid trips that
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: they had no idea that they were going on. People
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: thought they were going insane. And this is a very
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: weird factoid. Whitey Bulger, who is the famous Boston mob
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: boss who recently died, when he was in federal prison
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: in Atlanta, I think in the sixties, he agreed to
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: be experimented on in this way and for months he
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: was given these intense psychedelics, and he says that it
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: gave him these like violent visions or the rest of
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: his life, like he would have horrible nightmares and violent visions.
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: So I don't know, maybe the CIA helped create the
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: monster that Whitey Bulger became.
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: I would just also like to say, this is not
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: how LSD is anymore. You don't have to take LSD
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: like this. LSD can be microdose. I'm a big proponent
• 9:19
  Speaker 5: of microdosing LSD. This is not a microdis this is
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: like megato.
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: These are mega doses. They're also involuntary, and they're in
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: terrible contexts torturous.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Imagine being put on that, yeah.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: Literally torturous. So wait, I am so curious about this.
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: I've never done like a serious I've never had like
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: a serious psychedelic experience, and I want you to tell
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: me what I should do, Like how do I dip
• 9:43
  Speaker 4: my toe into this? Because I'm fascinated by it and
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: I don't want to.
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: I mean, microdosing is kind of like a whole New
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: World head like it just you could easily take one
• 9:53
  Speaker 5: on a workday, take a microdose of LSD.
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: You could even rip it in half.
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: Their little paper tablets like they've always but I get
• 10:02
  Speaker 5: mine from Canada. I get all the best drugs from Canada,
• 10:04
  Speaker 5: the purest drugs, I should say, from Canada. But microdos
• 10:07
  Speaker 5: really changes the game because then you don't ever have
• 10:10
  Speaker 5: to feel like you're being overwhelmed or you have to
• 10:13
  Speaker 5: go sit down in a corner while you get you know,
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: like you don't feel that way, just like watch the
• 10:18
  Speaker 5: clock and you're like, I'm gonna be okay.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's not like that.
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: I don't want anybody sitting in a corner. I don't
• 10:24
  Speaker 5: want anyone freaking out. But I do think of it
• 10:26
  Speaker 5: as like an enhancement, like a life enhancement, a performance enhancement,
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: especially if I'm outdoor exercising, if I'm on a big
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: bike ride, or if I'm on a big ski day.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I love to take a little LSD.
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: It just is like it's like an upper of energy, enthusiasm, calm,
• 10:43
  Speaker 5: Like it makes you less nervous if I'm going helly skiing,
• 10:46
  Speaker 5: Like it just really intensifies your focus in a way
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: that is beneficial.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: To your experience.
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: Who are you?
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I actually write that down because hell, what did I
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: just say? It feels like I'm on LC right now and.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: I'm not now would you have a start with LSD
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: or like try a mushroom situation for I think they're.
• 11:03
  Speaker 5: All different, Like mushrooms are good too, I'm not, you know,
• 11:06
  Speaker 5: I'm more into the LSD right now, just because it's
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: had such a positive impact on so many people in
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: my life. The MDMA is different MDMA. Some people can
• 11:14
  Speaker 5: have a great reaction to that that's also a microdose.
• 11:17
  Speaker 5: But MDMA to me is the love drugs. So that's
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: a heart opener. And what I love ed about all
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: these drugs is that they kill the ego, So there's
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: no ego, like you're just like open instead of any
• 11:28
  Speaker 5: sort of negative thoughts, you're just kind of eradicated, like
• 11:32
  Speaker 5: even people you dislike you like when you're on these drugs.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: And I think that really just says it all.
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: So a lot of couples counseling, like a lot of
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: couples will have MDMA guided couples counseling, because when you
• 11:43
  Speaker 5: take the MDMA, there's no defensiveness. You're both just open
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: to hearing the other person's argument. So there's been a
• 11:50
  Speaker 5: lot of success and the reason why I was drawn
• 11:52
  Speaker 5: to it in the first place and I don't really
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: I don't know if I have massive PTSD to anything,
• 11:57
  Speaker 5: but is that it's helped so many people with PTSD,
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: so many veterans, so many people who have been through
• 12:04
  Speaker 5: bad experiences.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: And that's scientific.
• 12:06
  Speaker 5: I mean, like the data is there, so so yeah,
• 12:09
  Speaker 5: you can't argue with that. And you know, I think
• 12:11
  Speaker 5: we're in a place where, you know, drugs come on
• 12:13
  Speaker 5: the scene in the way that you describe in your
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: book in this chapter, and then over this period of time,
• 12:20
  Speaker 5: look where we've come. You know, we've realized, Okay, that's
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: too much, this is the right amount. So it's like
• 12:26
  Speaker 5: any other substance, you have to figure out what the
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: right balance is.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Wow, But I'm an advocate.
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: That's so fascinating and I'm so curious. And I have
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: had friends, you know, do the MDMA couples counseling and
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: had had wonderful experiences. And I had a lot of
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: friends in college just kind of having fun with various psychedelics.
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: And I've always been a little bit I don't know,
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: intimidated or something, but micro dosing feels like a nice,
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: a good baby step because I do want to I
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: just want to kind of like I don't know, mix
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: it up a little bit. I like what you're saying.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: If it allows me to go Hella skiing, then yeah,
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: I'm a Hella on board.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: So where did you go to college?
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: At Oberlin College in Ohio that used.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: To do it?
• 13:15
  Speaker 7: Well?
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: I know Oberlin. Yeah, that's a very well respected school.
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: I thought that was a women's college. Did it used
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: to be a women's college?
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: No?
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Oh no.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: In fact, it's the first college in the United States
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: to admit women. So yeah, that's one of its claims
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: to fame. It's always been a very progressive, kind of
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: intellectually exciting place. And it has a Conservatory of music
• 13:39
  Speaker 4: as well, the Oberlin Conservatory that is a world renowned,
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: you know, music study place.
• 13:45
  Speaker 5: And what did you study there? Did you study? Did
• 13:47
  Speaker 5: you study acting?
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: No? I mean I did. I took I was in
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: some plays and took some acting classes. But I studied
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: I kind of out of a funny academic journey.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I started out hynecology.
• 14:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah. I was like, guys, I want to be a
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: gynecology major. They're like, we don't have that, you can't
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: do that, And I was like, well, here's my natology.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: When's kidding? So I said, I wanted to be a
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: geology major because I loved being outdoors. I was kind
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: of like, I loved camping and hiking and all these things.
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: I was like, geology, that's the that's what geologists do
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: for a living. And then I got into the hard
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: science courses and I was like, none, this is terrible.
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: I am not cut out for this. And I kind
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: of did a gut check and I really wanted to
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: make movies and be in movies and work on movies,
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: and so I became a film major. But Oberlin didn't
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: really have that at the time. They do now, but
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: at the time they had a film minor, and so
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: I was able to do this weird thing where you
• 14:50
  Speaker 4: design your own major. And I cobbled together like different
• 14:53
  Speaker 4: acting classes and directing, you know, theater directing with the
• 14:56
  Speaker 4: film courses, and then I spent a semester at the
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: in You Film School one spring. I spent the whole
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: semester there and that was so so cool and eye opening,
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: and so I graduated with a kind of made up
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: major that was a basically a film major.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Well that's nice that they were able. You're able to
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: do that. There's not a lot of schools that allow
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: you to make up your own major.
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: You really have to make it sound legit. But I
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: was always a good kind of salesman. I could. I could, like,
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: you know, charm the committee and then and it worked.
• 15:28
  Speaker 4: I got Yeah, I graduated.
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, well you did. I mean, you've been entertaining
• 15:33
  Speaker 5: us for a long time. I like that you're able
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: to marry your careers together and do this kind of
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: stuff that you're really interested in, also this historical stuff,
• 15:41
  Speaker 5: while being very entertaining. I also I worked closely with
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: Zach alifan Acus for a while on the road, well
• 15:49
  Speaker 5: not as long as you did on the hangover, but
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: on the road. And I have a great Zach Alfanakas
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: story that I shared recently about him. Well, I have
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: a couple of Zach elephant stories. But I want to
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: know about your experience working with Zach Alifanakis because I
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: think Zach is probably the funniest person I know.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: He's the thing.
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: I think you're right. I think he's the funniest person.
• 16:13
  Speaker 5: He reminds me of a human snufhalophagus, and that's not
• 16:16
  Speaker 5: because his scalp also isn't quite set to the top
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: of his head. He doesn't have a hard scalp. He
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: has a baby scalp. Okay, I've tugged on it. I
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: haven't seen him in years, but when I was spending
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: time with him, I couldn't. He'd always be like, touched
• 16:30
  Speaker 5: my scalp and it was always soft. You know how
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: baby scalps are soft while they're forming and like a skull. Yeah, yeah,
• 16:36
  Speaker 5: and they've got that little spot where until he doesn't
• 16:39
  Speaker 5: really get hard. His is never hardened. So I'm not
• 16:42
  Speaker 5: sure what kind of creature he is.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: Well, he's a snuffs like you said, he's yeah, he's
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: a humanus. I love a Sesame Street reference. Thank you
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: for bringing that in.
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no problem, absolutely, it's history.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: I you know someone I read somewhere that someone described
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: Oscar Wilde as like the sharpest wit they had ever known,
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: and that he was like the fastest with a with
• 17:09
  Speaker 4: azinger or a comeback or just a kind of quip
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: or a joke or a comment on a moment. And
• 17:16
  Speaker 4: that's Zach. I've never seen the speed that he like
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: delivers a quip off of a situation, like or you
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: say something dumb, and he like instantly has the the
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: kind of zinger or or come back, and it's not
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: always it's not always a zinger like a kind of
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: mean spirited thing. Sometimes it's just a silly, ridiculous thing.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: But it's it's sharp, and it's it's smart, and it's
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: so fast. Like his brain is just in a different
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: gear than everyone else's. It's sort of like when Keanu
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: reeves in the Matrix, like realizes he's the one, and
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: all of a sudden, he's like everyone else's is in
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: slow motion because they're in reality, and he's just like, oh,
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: this is easy. That's how I think Zach's comedy brain works.
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: He's just ahead of everybody else. And Todd used to
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: Todd Phillips the director on the Hangover. Sometimes he direct
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: from afar, like a lot of directors. He s would
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: sort of sit at the monitors or somewhere sort of
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: off to the side with his own little monitor, and
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: he'd call out things to us, and then Zach would
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: always kind of zing back at him, and Todd was
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: just like always like, unbelievable, unbelievable.
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: He just has the quickest, highest and the driest because
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: he's never laughing at himself.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: No, he's and he's not loud. He's quiet. Yes, it's
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: like quiet and under the radar and sweet.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: There's a sweetness to all of it. You know. I
• 18:45
  Speaker 4: feel like there's certain comedians that can get away with
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: pretty aggressive insults or yes, just kind of like dark, darker,
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: or things that would on paper be extremely mean spirited,
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: but because you know that they have such a big
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: heart and they're such kind of sweet people, you're just like,
• 19:04
  Speaker 4: it's the funniest thing. You give them so much leeway
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: with that. And he's definitely one of those people.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he used to. He probably still does this where
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: he plays a piano on set.
• 19:14
  Speaker 5: He goes on, he'll go up to the improv and
• 19:17
  Speaker 5: just play the piano in between jokes, so there's just
• 19:20
  Speaker 5: like this dramatic effect for absolutely no reason. And he
• 19:23
  Speaker 5: had this joke where he's like, I thought about killing
• 19:25
  Speaker 5: myself today and then plays like three bars and he's like,
• 19:28
  Speaker 5: so I jumped off the roof of a pizza hut,
• 19:30
  Speaker 5: but I.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: Only broke my leg.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: And you're like, that wouldn't be funny from anyone else
• 19:35
  Speaker 5: at all except for you in that fucking piano. And
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: he's just so ridiculous. So he used to we I
• 19:43
  Speaker 5: had to sleep. I was really broke and I was
• 19:46
  Speaker 5: doing San Francisco Punchline. He was the middle David Tel
• 19:49
  Speaker 5: was the headliner, and I was opening and I had
• 19:51
  Speaker 5: no money. So to Zach's like, you can sleep in
• 19:53
  Speaker 5: my hotel room at the Commodore, and I was like, okay,
• 19:56
  Speaker 5: thank you. And then and he said, you know, I
• 19:59
  Speaker 5: promise you're safe with me, and I was like, I
• 20:02
  Speaker 5: believe you. I think I could take you physically, so
• 20:04
  Speaker 5: I'm not concerned. And we would get to bed and
• 20:07
  Speaker 5: I and I had a terrible week. I was like
• 20:10
  Speaker 5: my first week on the professional road with like two big,
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: like heavy hitters, and I, you know, I didn't know
• 20:15
  Speaker 5: what I was doing. And every night I'd be so upset, like, fuck,
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: what am I gonna do?
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: What am I gonna do? He's like, this is part
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: of it. You know, you got a bomb. You got
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: a bomb.
• 20:23
  Speaker 5: And then he'd put we'd go to bed and we'd
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: sleep in the same bed with our clothes on, and
• 20:27
  Speaker 5: he would rub my hair before I went to sleep,
• 20:29
  Speaker 5: and he would whisper in my ear, I will never
• 20:32
  Speaker 5: rape you.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: God, Oh my god, such a sweet memory.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: Is it a sweet memory?
• 20:42
  Speaker 7: Yeah?
• 20:42
  Speaker 5: I think it is it is a sweet, sweet memory.
• 20:44
  Speaker 5: I've never had anyone say that to me.
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: You're right that in the in just yeah, that's just
• 20:50
  Speaker 4: what I was saying before, Like he's such a big hearted,
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: sweet person that he can make that joke and actually
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: make you laugh, because anyone else who said that to somebody,
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: it almost sounds like I'm definitely going to do that.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: On that note, we're going to take a break with
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: ed Helm, so we'll be right back.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: If you'd like advice from Chelsea, right into us at
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com. We'd love to
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: hear your questions for any juicy story you'd like advice on,
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: but this week we're specifically looking for questions about family issues.
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: If you have an issue with a family member, or
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: you need.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Advice about a specific relationship issue, please write in at
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea podcast at gmail dot com.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: And we're back with ed Helm. So you have to
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: pick up this book.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: It's called Snaffoo, The Definitive Guide to History's Greatest screw Ups,
• 21:39
  Speaker 5: and it's all the greatest grew ups historically in this
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: country and others. Actually lots of it takes place on
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: other lands. But it's a great book to have around,
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: especially to pick up and put down when you want
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: to get a little piece of information. And it's great.
• 21:53
  Speaker 5: They're great talking points for conversation starters. I know a
• 21:56
  Speaker 5: lot of people conversation starters.
• 21:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and it'll make you like a killer at dinner parties.
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: You've just got you've got a whole arsenal of great stories.
• 22:05
  Speaker 5: And it's a great gift, by the way, it's a
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: great gift to give to somebody.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially a great guy gift I feel like.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: And I also like that you say in the beginning,
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: You're like, you know what we've been through, like shit
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: before and like problems and like stupid mistakes before, Like
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: hopefully we'll survive everything that's going on now as well.
• 22:20
  Speaker 5: Yes, it's a great reminder of that everybody thought that
• 22:23
  Speaker 5: it was the end of the world many many times
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: in our history, especially in the fifties, where some people
• 22:29
  Speaker 5: look back at as one of the best times in America.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: People were scared to death of dying from a nuclear
• 22:34
  Speaker 5: bomb during that time.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Ed depicts in his book.
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's always like the history of human folly is
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: so overwhelming when you look back on it and Weirdly,
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: I find that calming because we just keep moving. Yeah,
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: this is a scary time that we're in right now.
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: It just it doesn't matter what your political disposition is.
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: Like it feels volatile, it feels like the division is crazy,
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: like unusual, but it isn't that unusual. We have been
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: in very similar situations in the past. I'm not saying
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: don't be afraid or don't be like, don't work to
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: make the changes you want to see in the world.
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: But I am saying I'm just there's reassurance in this,
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: in looking back and seeing like, oh, people did sort
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: of fight through something or get through something and we
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: got to a better place.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: Absolutely.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: Well, are we ready for some advice?
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, it's going to give advice and you're gonna be
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: great at this.
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you actually you're gonna be We.
• 23:34
  Speaker 5: Have live callers, we've written callers, people calling in they
• 23:37
  Speaker 5: need help, and here you are at helms.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: Here you are to help.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: All right, I'm here for it.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: Well, our first question has to do with having a
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: long history with someone, since we're talking a lot about
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: history today. The subject is office friendship gone awry, and
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: this one's just an email. She's not calling in Okay,
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Dear Chelsea. I work with a friend who have known
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: for twelve years. She referred me to the job we
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: work at. She trained me and everything. However, she's a
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: gatekeeper and always wants to be the hero at work.
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: She's also loud and obnoxious when she talks about how
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: we used to be ratchet and all, which was so
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: long ago.
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: She's kind of annoying in that sense.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: I find myself at times asking her to keep it
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: down because we're at work. Also, nobody wants to hear that,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: and frankly, it's embarrassing. I'm now avoiding her outside of
• 24:20
  Speaker 3: work too. I don't know how to handle her. She
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: overshares and I don't want to be a part of it.
• 24:25
  Speaker 3: She also seems jealous when I hang with other managers
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: and coworkers. I'm not kissing ass, but I'm a social person.
• 24:31
  Speaker 3: How do I manage the situation? Since I have to
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: see her every day, I'm becoming resentful?
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: Ugh, love you and take care, Sammy.
• 24:38
  Speaker 5: Did she say at the beginning that this person was
• 24:40
  Speaker 5: her superior at work?
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: No, but she got her the job?
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Oh she the woman got hurt the job?
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: Or she yeah, the other the woman got her the job.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: Oh, I see, I see. So that's also but.
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: We don't know if they're we don't know if what
• 24:51
  Speaker 4: their status is.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we don't.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: We're not sure about that.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: But all right, I think that's it easy.
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: I think that you just that's a conversation and in
• 24:58
  Speaker 5: person conversation on one where you go to lunch, you
• 25:01
  Speaker 5: go to coffee, and you say, listen, I know we
• 25:03
  Speaker 5: had a lot of like wild times and a fun past,
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: but like I feel like I've grown up a lot,
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: and I feel like we've both grown up a lot.
• 25:11
  Speaker 5: You know, don't make it just about you being like
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: superior to her in that way, like you're mature and
• 25:17
  Speaker 5: she isn't be Like, we've both grown up a lot,
• 25:19
  Speaker 5: and like sometimes it's like I feel like it's a
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: little embarrassing when I hear you talk about our past
• 25:24
  Speaker 5: in front of our co workers. And I totally get it,
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: Like it's fun and those were the best times. But like,
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: I think we have to have some sort of evolution,
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: especially professionally in a setting where I want to be
• 25:35
  Speaker 5: taken seriously and I don't want to take the fun
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: out of it. But I also don't want to start
• 25:39
  Speaker 5: avoiding you, you know, don't.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: Act like it's already happened.
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: Just say like I'm starting to feel like I do
• 25:45
  Speaker 5: want to kind of avoid you and take my own space,
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: and I don't want to feel that way about you
• 25:49
  Speaker 5: at all. I want to maintain this relationship but also
• 25:52
  Speaker 5: take it to the next level of like maturity and evolution.
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: Like we're all going to have to grow up at
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: some point, and you don't have to grow up and
• 26:00
  Speaker 5: make it sound boring, but grow up and make it
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: sound like, Okay, now we're going to do different stuff.
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: And we don't have to like live in the past,
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: because that's also a thing that people get stuck in.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: It's like living.
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: They want to constantly live in like the best time
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: that they had, which is like that varsity high school attitude,
• 26:16
  Speaker 5: like when you peak in high school, you want to
• 26:18
  Speaker 5: live in high school for the.
• 26:19
  Speaker 4: Rest of your life. God damn, that's good, Chelsea. You're
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: good at this, And that's the real deal. That's the
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: that's like the that's the advice. That is good advice. Whoever,
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: the listener should definitely follow that advice. Now, I'm gonna
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: give you some bad advice. Great, I think that you
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: should fight the woman start slipping like massive doses of
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: LSD into their coffee. Perfect, And it's also just mk
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: ultra them and then also just subtly sabotage them at
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: work in all kinds of different ways, you know, just
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: like mess up their files. Like if they hand something in,
• 26:56
  Speaker 4: see if you can grab it and take it so
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: it's late, So it's late and they get in trouble.
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: Is that helpful?
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: I don't know, perfect, I think that's going to be
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: very helpful.
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: No, I but truly, Chelsea, it's so fun hearing you
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: just like jump on that with the most constructive angle,
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: just like hey, jump in and talk to this person
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: and just everything that you wrote in that email, that's
• 27:18
  Speaker 4: pretty much what that's your script. Like you can say
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: that to this person and find the positive top spin
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: on it, find the language that gives it connectivity instead
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: of just like accusation and frustration. But get into it.
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: That's what I heard. That was like the main thing
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: was like just jump right into.
• 27:36
  Speaker 5: It, get into it, because I think avoidance is just
• 27:39
  Speaker 5: always the you know that is like nobody gets anywhere by.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Being an avoidant.
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: Where did you grow up, Chelsea?
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: In New Jersey?
• 27:45
  Speaker 4: There you go. See, I grew up in Atlanta, Georgia,
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: and my mom's from Tennessee, my dad's from Alabama, and
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: it's a lot of like we don't talk about that.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a.
• 27:55
  Speaker 4: Lot of like discomfort with like avoidance is a is
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: like on like a policy in the South. Sometimes.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Did you grow up Southern Baptist?
• 28:04
  Speaker 5: No?
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: No, my parents were pretty progressive politically and religiously, but
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: we went to a Presbyterian church, which I liked, actually
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: liked a lot, and I know my parents valued a lot.
• 28:16
  Speaker 4: But they also after church, they would always be like,
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: this stuff is kind of made up, but we just
• 28:25
  Speaker 4: this is a good community institution and we like a
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: lot of the people. But you don't have to believe
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: the actual you know, they would sort of undermine the
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: religiosity of it, which.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Is a great attitude.
• 28:38
  Speaker 5: I read a quote one saying, like, you know, you're
• 28:40
  Speaker 5: not praying people who sit down and pray. It's not
• 28:43
  Speaker 5: about who you're praying to, it's the act of praying.
• 28:46
  Speaker 5: It creates a better surrounding for the whole world. Yes, right,
• 28:50
  Speaker 5: like the fact that people are praying, you know, as
• 28:53
  Speaker 5: long as you're praying for like peace, and the world
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: and love and goodness. It doesn't matter what you're saying,
• 28:58
  Speaker 5: it's the act of It is an act in itself.
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's the articulation of thoughts and ideas that have
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: power in you. And I kind of think of therapy
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: as the same way. It's like, weirdly, therapy can be
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: a sort of prayer because you're giving voice and externalizing
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: these things that have sort of may have chewed you
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: up inside for a long time or felt insurmountable, but
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: as soon as they're outside of your body, literally just
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: the words take form and leave your mouth and then
• 29:29
  Speaker 4: it's outside of you in a way that feels manageable
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: or feels like you're approaching manageable of these like difficult things.
• 29:39
  Speaker 5: Yeah, therapy is like helping you be a better person
• 29:42
  Speaker 5: in the world. Right, So that's that's a gift to
• 29:44
  Speaker 5: everybody who has to come into contact with you by
• 29:47
  Speaker 5: not internalizing all of those thoughts or things that you're
• 29:51
  Speaker 5: going through. Also, meditation is a form of prayer, you know,
• 29:54
  Speaker 5: if you look at it that way, it's a form
• 29:56
  Speaker 5: of like, Okay, I'm trying you know, you're setting an intention,
• 29:58
  Speaker 5: you're trying to calm your thoughts and actually be a
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: more well balanced person. So that's a form of prior too,
• 30:04
  Speaker 5: So all of that stuff is good as a tool
• 30:07
  Speaker 5: to be a better person.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: In the world.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: Well, our next question comes from Amanda, and before we
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: let Amanda in, I thought this would be a perfect
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: question for you, Ed, since you played a character who
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: was broken up with while on a yacht, so Amanda
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: is really going through it. Subject line is heartbreak on
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: a yacht Dear Chelsea. A month ago, me and my
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: partner of four years split up. Three weeks prior he
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: had ended it and I was devastated.
• 30:34
  Speaker 2: He resigned. We work on a yacht together and I
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: packed my bags.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: I didn't want to give him an opportunity to panic
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: and change his mind, but sure enough he asked me
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: to stay and I did. Three weeks later, he hooks
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: up with our friend and coworker. The relationship ended and
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: he told me he would resign. Typically on boats, as
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: we all live and work together, when a couple splits up,
• 30:52
  Speaker 3: there's an honor code that the one who ends it
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: is the one to leave. I took six weeks unpaid
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: leave so I could fly home and be with my
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: support system and give him time to finish out his
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: contract and not risk losing any pay. When I was leaving,
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: he told me he was going to do everything he
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: could to find a way forward for us. A month
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: after the breakup, he calls to say this separation is
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: the right thing and he won't be resigning. Neither he
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: nor the person he hooked up with resigned. The last
• 31:17
  Speaker 3: thing I want to do is give up my job.
• 31:19
  Speaker 3: I love what I do. I just got a new contract,
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: but the thought of being trapped on a boat together
• 31:23
  Speaker 3: and having to see him every day feels daunting. And
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: there is an update that happened just yesterday. She got
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: a call that her contract was canceled and theirs was not.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: So Amanda's really going through it.
• 31:34
  Speaker 5: Oh, I'm sorry, Hi Amanda, Hi, Hi Hidy miss ed
• 31:39
  Speaker 5: Helm's our special guest today.
• 31:41
  Speaker 7: Oh my gosh, hello, lovely to meet you.
• 31:43
  Speaker 4: Likewise, I'm so sorry for all this. Yah, just this
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: hard ship. Get it. I'm gonna throw a pun in there,
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: right right out of.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Zach Alfanakus territory.
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, mad, this does sound tough. So are you with
• 32:01
  Speaker 4: your support system now?
• 32:03
  Speaker 6: Yeah?
• 32:03
  Speaker 7: I've been with my family and my friends, so I'm
• 32:06
  Speaker 7: very fortunate to have them. But yes, as Catherine said,
• 32:09
  Speaker 7: as of yesterday, I've been let go as a result.
• 32:13
  Speaker 7: So I guess now it's a whole different ballgame of
• 32:16
  Speaker 7: how to proceed.
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: So, did you lose this lose this contract because of
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: the sort of messiness of the situation?
• 32:23
  Speaker 7: Yes, I was told it was due to the extenuating circumstances.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: So is he it has a senior position, a more
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: senior position than you do.
• 32:34
  Speaker 7: Yes, he is a high ranking person, so yeah, he,
• 32:38
  Speaker 7: I guess, got priority.
• 32:40
  Speaker 5: Okay, and does a woman work on the yacht too?
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: I was confused by who resigned and who resigned?
• 32:45
  Speaker 7: Okay, no one's resigned, but yes, the person he hooked
• 32:49
  Speaker 7: up with, they both are still Okay.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Well that's in.
• 32:52
  Speaker 5: You can't go back to that situation, so it's time
• 32:55
  Speaker 5: to find another position, right on a different yacht.
• 32:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, how hard is that?
• 33:02
  Speaker 7: I have no doubt that I'll be able to find
• 33:04
  Speaker 7: another job. I'm not concerned about that. I'm very capable. Yeah,
• 33:08
  Speaker 7: so I guess with Catherine. Initially, I was just I guess,
• 33:11
  Speaker 7: hoping to find a way to navigate through this. But
• 33:14
  Speaker 7: even now people are telling me to try to peel
• 33:17
  Speaker 7: the termination. So yeah, I'm just a bit of a
• 33:20
  Speaker 7: loss right now.
• 33:21
  Speaker 5: I honestly really wouldn't pursue that. What a waste of
• 33:24
  Speaker 5: your time and energy?
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: Why why you're ya?
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: It seems like winning that appeal puts you in a
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: worse position right where you're not where you're on the
• 33:33
  Speaker 4: boat with this sort of toxic.
• 33:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: I agree, And there's something there is something about like
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: having distance from having physical distance from the pain the
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: source of the of this pain can be incredibly healing.
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: Just have just not like you said, like you intuitively
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: understood kind of being in that presence seeing him every
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: day so forth, that would just kind of keep you
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: in this laundry cycle of frustration, anger, hurt, all of it.
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: So embrace the distance.
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: Are you okay with doing that?
• 34:13
  Speaker 7: Like?
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: Are you are you ready to do that?
• 34:15
  Speaker 5: Like, I mean, I think you need to heal and
• 34:17
  Speaker 5: move on and go and find yourself in a completely
• 34:20
  Speaker 5: new environment. I'm so happy to hear that you know
• 34:22
  Speaker 5: that you're capable enough to get another job.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I know this is kind of it's a.
• 34:26
  Speaker 5: Small community of people who work on boats and meaning
• 34:28
  Speaker 5: it can seem like a large one, but really it
• 34:30
  Speaker 5: isn't it's a smaller community. So like, if you're good
• 34:33
  Speaker 5: at your job, you're going to get another job on
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: a yacht.
• 34:36
  Speaker 7: Yeah, No, I have no doubts about that. I guess
• 34:39
  Speaker 7: it's just been the whole process has been so devastating,
• 34:43
  Speaker 7: just at every turn. And then yeah, yesterday was like
• 34:46
  Speaker 7: I didn't even I didn't believe that it could get
• 34:50
  Speaker 7: to this point where I would be fired. And I understand,
• 34:53
  Speaker 7: I'm like big picture eyes, like you guys are saying
• 34:56
  Speaker 7: this is the best thing to get away from it
• 34:58
  Speaker 7: and all that. I guess I'm just still reeling from totally,
• 35:02
  Speaker 7: which is totally understandable.
• 35:04
  Speaker 5: And give yourself grace, give yourself time, Like you're not
• 35:07
  Speaker 5: supposed to get over these things in a week or
• 35:09
  Speaker 5: two weeks or even a month or two months.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: This is a big situation. You were with him for
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: four years.
• 35:14
  Speaker 5: You have every right to be upset, to feel your grief,
• 35:17
  Speaker 5: to go through all of the emotions and all the
• 35:19
  Speaker 5: stages of emotions that don't come in the order that
• 35:22
  Speaker 5: people tell you that they're going to come in and
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: just when you think you're out of the woods, it
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: hits you again. But be honest about your feelings, which
• 35:29
  Speaker 5: you are doing. You're called in here, You're having an
• 35:31
  Speaker 5: honest conversation with people you don't know about how you're
• 35:34
  Speaker 5: feeling and how hurtful this is and how shocking it is.
• 35:38
  Speaker 5: Have you heard about the new Mail Robbins book Let
• 35:40
  Speaker 5: Them the Let Them theory?
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 35:42
  Speaker 7: I have. I actually listened to the episode with you
• 35:44
  Speaker 7: and Herry yesterday on a run. I was like, I
• 35:46
  Speaker 7: need something.
• 35:47
  Speaker 5: Yeah, read that book, because you have to let him,
• 35:50
  Speaker 5: let her, let them, let them do their thing, and
• 35:53
  Speaker 5: be grateful that you're not in the mix to have
• 35:56
  Speaker 5: to witness any of that.
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: Are you concerned at all about yours sort of standing
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: in this community?
• 36:04
  Speaker 7: Well, that's the other thing, is I feel like because
• 36:06
  Speaker 7: it's such a small industry and everyone knows somebody on
• 36:09
  Speaker 7: a boat, you know, when you're applying for something, everyone
• 36:12
  Speaker 7: knows whoever's applying. It's a very small community. So that's
• 36:15
  Speaker 7: the the reason why I've been trying to be as
• 36:18
  Speaker 7: peaceful as possible through this whole process, because I'm like,
• 36:21
  Speaker 7: I don't want it to reflect poorly on me. Sure,
• 36:25
  Speaker 7: So that's another thing with appealing this. I'm just like,
• 36:27
  Speaker 7: I feel like it's I hope my integrity would speak
• 36:31
  Speaker 7: for itself moving forward.
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: And people talk like they'll get I think the real
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: story of like that you are the one who got
• 36:37
  Speaker 3: the short end of the stick on this.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: I had a spiritual.
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: Teacher once tell me you know God or the universe
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: or your your you know better angels. When something's not
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: right for you, they'll like tap you on the shoulder
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: and try to tell you, and if you don't listen,
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: they'll like tap you harder, and then if you still
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: don't listen, you get like the two by.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: Four across the head and like this ending of.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: The kind feels like this is the two by four
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: of just like this is not for you.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: There's something way better for you.
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:07
  Speaker 7: I believe that too.
• 37:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's really too picture and listen and just
• 37:11
  Speaker 5: and appreciate where you are in this moment and all
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: of that.
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: Don't try to fast forward. You're healing, go through it.
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: The only way to get through to something is to
• 37:19
  Speaker 5: really really feel it and be honest about your emotions.
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 37:24
  Speaker 5: Lean on the people that love and care about you.
• 37:26
  Speaker 5: Unfortunately this relationship is over, but you're going to move
• 37:29
  Speaker 5: forward in a better and a stronger sense of self
• 37:32
  Speaker 5: that's always what happens when we get our hearts broken,
• 37:35
  Speaker 5: we always come out stronger. And that's you know, that's
• 37:38
  Speaker 5: not debatable. So like, that's what's going to happen with you.
• 37:40
  Speaker 5: You're capable, you're confident, you're strong. I'm so happy you
• 37:43
  Speaker 5: have a support system that you were able to fly
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: home to.
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm so glad.
• 37:47
  Speaker 5: You do need a letter of recommendation from these people,
• 37:49
  Speaker 5: so you do need to contact him back.
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: I'm sure that's a given, but you do.
• 37:53
  Speaker 5: At the very minimum, they have to guarantee you for
• 37:55
  Speaker 5: I mean, they don't give you any reason to fire you,
• 37:57
  Speaker 5: so they have to give you a letter of recommendation
• 37:59
  Speaker 5: when you go out and look for a new job.
• 38:00
  Speaker 5: And I do know a few people who do own yachts,
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: and I'd be happy to pass on your resume to them.
• 38:06
  Speaker 7: That's incredibly I.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: Know that comes as a huge surprise to all of ours.
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: She's Chelsea's so right here. It's so easy to kind
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: of like intellectually understand why getting fired in this situation
• 38:23
  Speaker 4: might be a positive thing, and why like the math
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: might be might look good on paper. Oh we're gonna
• 38:28
  Speaker 4: have distance now. But Chelsea's so right, the the emotions,
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: all the feelings, all of the pain and the trajectory
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: of your grief is something to just submit to. Even
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: when it's on paper, it feels like, oh, I'm these
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: I'm making the right steps. It just doesn't always feel
• 38:47
  Speaker 4: that way. And I and and so embrace that and yeah,
• 38:51
  Speaker 4: move through it feeling.
• 38:52
  Speaker 7: Thank you so much.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I agree, you're going to be just fine. You're
• 38:56
  Speaker 5: going to be better than fine.
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you are going to be better than fine. Not
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: right now, but very very soon.
• 39:01
  Speaker 7: Yeah, Chelsea, I obviously read your book as soon as
• 39:03
  Speaker 7: I came out Life Will Be the Death Knees what
• 39:06
  Speaker 7: got me to therapy in twenty nineteen, and so I
• 39:08
  Speaker 7: do think my ability to handle this has been because
• 39:12
  Speaker 7: of all that work in the last few years. And
• 39:14
  Speaker 7: I've even been rereading little bits of your book talking
• 39:17
  Speaker 7: about moving through heartache, and it's been very helpful. Amongst
• 39:22
  Speaker 7: everything else, it's been very helpful. And I can't express
• 39:24
  Speaker 7: enough how much.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm glad. We'll
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: take care of yourself.
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: And send me your resume, will Yeah, it passed along
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: the change for sure.
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: That's incredibly kind.
• 39:35
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: All so much. This is very just so lovely. Thank
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: you so much, Thanks Amanda, and thanks for joining us.
• 39:42
  Speaker 7: Thank you, thank you so much.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Bye, and you're really good at this too.
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: I know that was very compassionate. Yeah.
• 39:48
  Speaker 5: I love how stable she is and so normal, you know,
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: like I love how our listeners are normal and they're
• 39:53
  Speaker 5: like they can handle these situations. Like she's going to
• 39:55
  Speaker 5: be just fine. She should be counseling other people going
• 39:57
  Speaker 5: through breakups.
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: Well.
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: Our next color is Jonathan. Dear Chelsea, I need your
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: help getting unstuck. I'm in a job I have a
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: deep bond with working as a nanny to a child
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: with special needs, one that has given me financial stability
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: and a strong sense of purpose. But as much as
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: I love it, I know it's time to move on
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: to fully commit to my acting career.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: The problem I feel.
• 40:19
  Speaker 3: Paralyzed by guilt over leaving something that has meant the
• 40:21
  Speaker 3: world to me. I worry about losing a part of
• 40:24
  Speaker 3: my identity and the people who've become my family. On
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: top of that, there's a financial risk. I have bills
• 40:29
  Speaker 3: to pay, and while I want to take the leap,
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: I also don't want to put myself in a situation
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: where I'm struggling just to get by.
• 40:35
  Speaker 2: That said, I've been putting in the work.
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: I've taken real steps to get my mental and physical
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: health together, and I've been submitting for everything I can
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: to open new doors.
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: I've worked hard to build a creative life.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: I perform on stage, I dance, I even made a
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: name for myself.
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: In the drag world.
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: But I know I need to take bigger risks if
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: I want acting to be my main focus. I moved
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: to la from Iowa with two hundred and fifty bucks
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: to my name, and for the last seven years, I've
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: made it work as a gay man from a small town,
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: and I take pride that everything I've built has been entirely.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: On my own.
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: I keep telling myself to be patient and trust the process,
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: but after turning thirty this past year, I feel like
• 41:09
  Speaker 3: I'm starting to lose my spark. I don't want to
• 41:11
  Speaker 3: give up, but I also don't want to wake up
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: one day and realize.
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: I played it too safe.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: How do I take this leap without losing myself or
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: my rent money in the process?
• 41:19
  Speaker 5: Best Jonathan, Hi, Jonathan, Hello, how are we doing good?
• 41:25
  Speaker 5: We have another actor here on the show today. Ed
• 41:27
  Speaker 5: Helms is our special guest.
• 41:29
  Speaker 4: Oh wow, Hi Jonathan. Hello, Gosh. I know you're in
• 41:34
  Speaker 4: a difficult spot what feels like a crossroads, but you
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: have already made so many tough decisions and taken so
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: many risks. You have so much to be proud of already.
• 41:46
  Speaker 6: Thank you. I appreciate that. And you know, I think
• 41:49
  Speaker 6: that just these last couple of years, I feel like
• 41:51
  Speaker 6: I've the momentum, like something has kind of happened where
• 41:55
  Speaker 6: I just feel like I'm a little bit of a
• 41:56
  Speaker 6: functional freeze right now. And yeah, I'm just kind of
• 42:00
  Speaker 6: thinking about you know. I guess I was wanting to
• 42:03
  Speaker 6: kind of ask when you guys were starting out, what
• 42:06
  Speaker 6: kind of helped you get through to like take those
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: kind of risky steps towards making your passion like your
• 42:13
  Speaker 6: main source, you know. And I know that it's a process,
• 42:17
  Speaker 6: but I also, like I said, I have a deep
• 42:18
  Speaker 6: bond with this family and I don't necessarily want to
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: give that up either.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: You know, so outside of acting, you're not feeling like
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: there's a need to leave the job.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: It's more like the conflict between the two.
• 42:31
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, is it an every day, five day week job.
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: It is Yes, I does this family that they're they're
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: aware of your acting ambitions or no?
• 42:43
  Speaker 6: No, Yes, they definitely are, Yeah, for sure.
• 42:46
  Speaker 4: And they and this this is a very positive and
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: nurturing relationship with this family. I assume they adore you
• 42:53
  Speaker 4: and appreciate it.
• 42:54
  Speaker 6: Yes, Yes, they feel like family for sure.
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: Which is amazing and an attribute to you. You and
• 43:01
  Speaker 4: I would also encourage you to explore the possibility dare
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: I say likelihood that this family wants you to thrive
• 43:10
  Speaker 4: and this family wants what's best for you as well.
• 43:13
  Speaker 4: Of course they depend on you in some very critical ways,
• 43:17
  Speaker 4: but it sounds like they also would not only be understanding,
• 43:22
  Speaker 4: but supportive. Is that a leap?
• 43:26
  Speaker 6: You know? I think that I think sometimes I have
• 43:29
  Speaker 6: to kind of get real with myself and realize that, like,
• 43:31
  Speaker 6: you know, I'm also here for a reason. And I
• 43:34
  Speaker 6: think that's kind of been the issue that I've been
• 43:36
  Speaker 6: working with. As you know, I've I've got a couple
• 43:39
  Speaker 6: gigs here and there, and those have been fine, But
• 43:42
  Speaker 6: I guess I really kind of it's kind of stopped
• 43:44
  Speaker 6: me from like pursuing something that would be like a
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: large block of time away from them, because I don't
• 43:50
  Speaker 6: know if you know that would be the case, if
• 43:54
  Speaker 6: you know, they'd be able to kind of keep me around,
• 43:56
  Speaker 6: And I think more so, I'm just like okay, like
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: I I know I need to take the next step,
• 44:01
  Speaker 6: and I've been really lucky with the opportunities that I've had,
• 44:04
  Speaker 6: but I just feel like I've been kind of in
• 44:07
  Speaker 6: this in between now for these last couple of years,
• 44:11
  Speaker 6: and I just it's.
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: Because you are in between, yeah, you know what I mean,
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: Like I understand, and it would be great if you
• 44:19
  Speaker 5: could work around your schedule and they could be accommodating
• 44:22
  Speaker 5: to you, but then you're still in between. Like when
• 44:25
  Speaker 5: you want to go for something, especially in this business,
• 44:27
  Speaker 5: you have to go like one hundred and fifty five
• 44:31
  Speaker 5: percent in that direction. You can't have like other side
• 44:35
  Speaker 5: gigs going on. You know, if you really want to
• 44:37
  Speaker 5: achieve this and this is your dream, you kind of
• 44:40
  Speaker 5: have to go full throttle. It's like a fucking bowling
• 44:42
  Speaker 5: ball down a hallway, like nothing is going to get
• 44:44
  Speaker 5: in your way until you get to your goal, and
• 44:47
  Speaker 5: then that goal leads to the next thing, and that
• 44:49
  Speaker 5: job leads to the next job. So you do kind
• 44:51
  Speaker 5: of have to throw everything you have at what you
• 44:54
  Speaker 5: want in order to obtain that and attain it. And
• 44:58
  Speaker 5: so I get that part, and I think, I think
• 45:00
  Speaker 5: this stuff. It would be great if they could be
• 45:03
  Speaker 5: malleable and work around you. I don't know how realistic
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: that is. Is it realistic for them to like work
• 45:09
  Speaker 5: with your schedule and give you the opportunities you need
• 45:11
  Speaker 5: to go and seek auditions? Like how does that work
• 45:14
  Speaker 5: with a child with special needs? You can't just bring
• 45:17
  Speaker 5: a lot.
• 45:17
  Speaker 6: So that's kind of the difficult thing. They are amazing
• 45:20
  Speaker 6: co parents, but they both have very high level jobs
• 45:24
  Speaker 6: that require a lot of time away, you know, and
• 45:26
  Speaker 6: I think they rely on me a lot more than
• 45:29
  Speaker 6: you know. Maybe is it healthy. But I'm kind of
• 45:33
  Speaker 6: okay with that. And I think that i i because
• 45:37
  Speaker 6: of like the connection that I've built. I just feel
• 45:39
  Speaker 6: like I'm torn between what's right for me, like taking
• 45:44
  Speaker 6: those steps to advocate for myself, you know, because I
• 45:48
  Speaker 6: feel like I'm just kind of a third parent at
• 45:51
  Speaker 6: this point.
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: Well, I think what happens a lot with caregivers, whether
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: that's hired caregiver, family caregiver, is like it feels like
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: it's all on one person. It's on the main caregiver.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: Which right now is you so because the parents can't
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: be someone to like take a day off and take
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: care of the child when when you're unavailable so you
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: have to go to an audition or you know, if
• 46:12
  Speaker 3: you do get a longer term gig, like in a
• 46:15
  Speaker 3: play or something like that, that you can't be there
• 46:17
  Speaker 3: every day, it maybe worth sitting down with them and
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: proposing another solution, which is like, I want to be
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: the main person, but like, let's bring in a specific
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: other person who can be kind of on call, who
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: we can call on on those days when like I
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: know I need to go drive across town to an
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: audition or I need to do something else. And it
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: just feels like if we if we feel that sort
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: of missing system, then you have a little bit more
• 46:39
  Speaker 3: freedom to do what.
• 46:41
  Speaker 6: You need to do right And you know, it's funny,
• 46:43
  Speaker 6: I actually just kind of brought that up to them.
• 46:47
  Speaker 6: So I feel like I'm taking steps in the right direction,
• 46:49
  Speaker 6: you know, but I just want to feel unstuck. Yeah,
• 46:53
  Speaker 6: I think that That's kind of where I'm at right now,
• 46:55
  Speaker 6: is just feeling like, ah, like you know, I'm I'm
• 46:58
  Speaker 6: really proud of how far I've come, and I feel
• 47:00
  Speaker 6: like I can recognize that, but I also want to
• 47:03
  Speaker 6: push myself in the other direction, you know, and I
• 47:06
  Speaker 6: want to keep the momentum going, and I just feel
• 47:08
  Speaker 6: like I've lost that, and so I think I just
• 47:12
  Speaker 6: I don't know, I just feel stuck right now.
• 47:15
  Speaker 5: And I think a great solution would also be for
• 47:17
  Speaker 5: you to be the person in charge of training the
• 47:20
  Speaker 5: new person and bringing them in so that will free
• 47:22
  Speaker 5: up so, you know, like once you get them situated
• 47:25
  Speaker 5: and understanding of like all of the dynamics and all
• 47:28
  Speaker 5: of the things that need to happen each day and
• 47:30
  Speaker 5: the relationship, Like, once you get that situated, then you'll
• 47:33
  Speaker 5: have time to like kind of float in and float
• 47:36
  Speaker 5: out of the job when needed. And how were they
• 47:39
  Speaker 5: responsive to you when you brought this up to them?
• 47:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah, they were, they were responsive, but I think they
• 47:45
  Speaker 6: really struggled. I don't think they've ever had anyone as
• 47:48
  Speaker 6: long as they've had me and the bond that I
• 47:51
  Speaker 6: have with their child, and I'm nervous that it's going
• 47:55
  Speaker 6: to be kind of hard to find somebody that can
• 47:58
  Speaker 6: match that.
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: It will be.
• 48:01
  Speaker 4: But also you can be the as Chelsea said, like
• 48:05
  Speaker 4: be the constructive part of this transition. You know, lay
• 48:10
  Speaker 4: the groundwork for the transition. Be the person who's really
• 48:16
  Speaker 4: like leading the search for this new person, have a
• 48:20
  Speaker 4: heavy overlap with them in a training sort of almost
• 48:24
  Speaker 4: like an apprentice process perhaps. And then and then the
• 48:28
  Speaker 4: other thing to keep in mind is that this relationship
• 48:31
  Speaker 4: with this family and this child that clearly means so
• 48:35
  Speaker 4: much to you and to them and the child, it
• 48:39
  Speaker 4: doesn't go away with you thriving in another area. If
• 48:44
  Speaker 4: you start to really you know, get more work in
• 48:48
  Speaker 4: the acting space and your career starts to blossom, they're
• 48:54
  Speaker 4: still there and they still care about you. And it's
• 48:58
  Speaker 4: not like a breakup. It's a it's just branches of
• 49:03
  Speaker 4: a tree kind of maybe growing apart, but they're still
• 49:06
  Speaker 4: attached to the trunk. And you've built so much with
• 49:10
  Speaker 4: this family. It sounds like this, this is a very
• 49:12
  Speaker 4: poignant moment, and I can sense your your struggle, But
• 49:19
  Speaker 4: just remember that the struggle you're feeling is rooted in
• 49:21
  Speaker 4: how much love there is in this family unit that
• 49:26
  Speaker 4: you're a part of now. And I think you're you
• 49:30
  Speaker 4: keep checking, you keep saying things that make it clear
• 49:34
  Speaker 4: that this transition feels necessary, it feels important. And then
• 49:38
  Speaker 4: the question starts to become. So what are the steps
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: and what are the how do I manage it? And
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: how do I do it in a way that's responsible
• 49:46
  Speaker 4: and loving to these people I care so much about,
• 49:49
  Speaker 4: and that might that's going to take some work, and
• 49:51
  Speaker 4: it will be hard, and it'll be painful at times.
• 49:54
  Speaker 4: They'll be the emotional pain of the separation eventually, whenever hot,
• 49:59
  Speaker 4: whatever form it takes will be hard. But also the
• 50:03
  Speaker 4: you thriving and and pursuing this thing that you literally
• 50:08
  Speaker 4: came here to do, or at least taking that risk
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: and taking that jump. I'm hearing that that feels very critical.
• 50:16
  Speaker 6: It does. It does, and I think that I feel
• 50:19
  Speaker 6: like through the pandemic, I just kind of lost my
• 50:21
  Speaker 6: spark a little bit. I mean, like I said, I
• 50:23
  Speaker 6: moved here with nothing and I just kind of made
• 50:25
  Speaker 6: it work. And you know, I think I'm trying to
• 50:29
  Speaker 6: rediscover that that part of me right and understand that,
• 50:33
  Speaker 6: Like I've been really lucky to not really kind of
• 50:36
  Speaker 6: fall on my face, but I'm nervous, I think right
• 50:40
  Speaker 6: now about especially like with just the economy and everything
• 50:44
  Speaker 6: the world is right now to kind of take that leap.
• 50:48
  Speaker 6: But I feel and you know, my heart and my
• 50:51
  Speaker 6: body that it's it's ready to I'm ready to do that,
• 50:55
  Speaker 6: you know. Good right, good, awesome, Well, thank you guys
• 50:59
  Speaker 6: so much.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, thanks for calling in, Jonathan. Good job, well done.
• 51:03
  Speaker 5: I mean, you can always maintain that relationship, you know
• 51:05
  Speaker 5: what I mean, always regardless of whether you're their point
• 51:08
  Speaker 5: person or his main caregiver or not, you can always
• 51:11
  Speaker 5: you know, create a long standing relationship with and maintain
• 51:14
  Speaker 5: a long standing relationship with that family.
• 51:17
  Speaker 6: Right, Yeah, Well, thank you so much, Chelsea. I really
• 51:20
  Speaker 6: appreciate it. Okay, Yeah, I just I really, I mean,
• 51:23
  Speaker 6: this podcast has done so much for me. Your episode
• 51:27
  Speaker 6: with Cody Rigsby about all the body issues really kind
• 51:30
  Speaker 6: of healed something in me. And I just appreciate the
• 51:32
  Speaker 6: work you guys are doing.
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: You're that love that, Jonathan.
• 51:35
  Speaker 6: Okay, thank you guys.
• 51:36
  Speaker 5: Have a great day and good luck with everything. Thank you, okay,
• 51:40
  Speaker 5: and we'll be right back to wrap up with Ed Helms.
• 51:44
  Speaker 5: Please tag me for the special because I get so
• 51:45
  Speaker 5: many tags about my books, but I'm not getting as
• 51:47
  Speaker 5: many about my special, and my special is the newest
• 51:49
  Speaker 5: thing out, so I want to make sure all my
• 51:51
  Speaker 5: Ardent fans are watching it. And tagging me and I'll
• 51:54
  Speaker 5: repost you. And yes, it's called the Feeling. And we're
• 52:01
  Speaker 5: back with Ed Helms, whose newest project is called.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Is a book. He has a podcast by the same name.
• 52:08
  Speaker 5: It's called Snapfoo The Definitive Guide to History's Greatest screw Ups.
• 52:12
  Speaker 5: It's a great gift for all of you readers out there.
• 52:15
  Speaker 5: It's a great book to put by your pool, put
• 52:18
  Speaker 5: by your toilet, put on your coffee.
• 52:20
  Speaker 4: Table, anything liquid related.
• 52:23
  Speaker 5: Any yes, anytime you're around liquid, we want you to
• 52:25
  Speaker 5: pick up the book and read a couple of chapters.
• 52:28
  Speaker 5: It's fascinating and entertaining, just like Ed Helms himself. Ed,
• 52:32
  Speaker 5: you have been an incredible guest today. You are very
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: helpful to all of our callers and I am so grateful.
• 52:37
  Speaker 4: Well, this has been a blast. This is Yes, it's
• 52:41
  Speaker 4: it's really amazing to hear these people call in and
• 52:44
  Speaker 4: just talk about how much you have affected them. Chelsea, Oh,
• 52:48
  Speaker 4: I know it's you. You have some superpowers for sure.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Ed.
• 52:53
  Speaker 5: Thank you with such a pleasure to see you twice
• 52:55
  Speaker 5: in like three weeks.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: I love this.
• 52:57
  Speaker 4: I know me too. Let's do it you.
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: I'll see you by the next toilet or swimming pool.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: That'll be you bump into each other.
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: Bye, all right, thanks so much.
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: Okay, take care bye bye bye.
• 53:07
  Speaker 5: Do do do do do drum roll, Catherine, please and
• 53:12
  Speaker 5: abroad broad is my European tour. So I'm coming to
• 53:18
  Speaker 5: obviously find.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: A husband abroad.
• 53:20
  Speaker 5: I need to get the health out of this fucking country.
• 53:23
  Speaker 5: And it's not as easy as you think. So I'm
• 53:26
  Speaker 5: coming to Rekuvik. I'm coming to Dublin. I'm coming to
• 53:30
  Speaker 5: the UK. I'm coming to Brussels, Paris, Belfast.
• 53:35
  Speaker 1: In May and June.
• 53:36
  Speaker 5: I'm coming to Oslo, Stockholm, to Copenhagen, Manchester, London, Glasgow,
• 53:41
  Speaker 5: New Zurich, Vienna. I've never ever been to Vienna, Berlin, Barcelona,
• 53:47
  Speaker 5: and Lisbon. I'm coming abroad is abroad that.
• 53:52
  Speaker 2: Sounds like fun.
• 53:53
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go see you abroad. I know I
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: want to go.
• 53:55
  Speaker 5: See me abroad and there all be there, all be excellent.
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 54:00
  Speaker 5: My remaining dates for Vegas, there are remaining dates for
• 54:03
  Speaker 5: this year. Summertime is coming and I will be in
• 54:09
  Speaker 5: Vegas at the Cosmo doing my residency on July fifth.
• 54:13
  Speaker 5: We will be the next date that I'm there, July fifth,
• 54:16
  Speaker 5: August thirtieth.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: And then November one and twenty ninth.
• 54:21
  Speaker 5: November one and November twenty ninth, I will be in
• 54:25
  Speaker 5: Las Vegas at the Cosmo performing Inside Myself at the Chelsea.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: It's called Chelsea at the Chelsea for a reason. Okay,
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: thank you.
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: Do you want advice from Chelsea?
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: Right into Dear Chelsea Podcast at gmail dot com. Find
• 54:39
  Speaker 3: full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching
• 54:42
  Speaker 3: at Dear Chelsea Pod.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: Dear Chelsea is edited
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: And engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Catherine law And
• 54:49
  Speaker 3: be sure to check out our merch at Chelseahandler dot
• 54:51
  Speaker 3: com