Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Nate Jackson_s Super Funny Comedy Jam Episode 5

Transcript

Nate Jackson_s Super Funny Comedy Jam Episode 5 · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What up, world?
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: It's your boy Nate Jackson, the host of the Super
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: Funny Comedy Jam.
• 0:04
  Speaker 3: We taping live in Tacoma, Washington. Let me introduce you
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: to this episode's comics.
• 0:09
  Speaker 4: There they go.
• 0:09
  Speaker 5: What's good, y'all? It's your boy Frederick White. I was
• 0:12
  Speaker 5: born in Lancaster, California, but I rep Tacoma, baby.
• 0:17
  Speaker 6: It's your girl Ray Diva repping Baltimore.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: You already know it.
• 0:21
  Speaker 7: Signing in, checking in yet again. It's your man Black Run,
• 0:24
  Speaker 7: and I'm from Dallas, Texas.
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: The Oak Cliff part.
• 0:29
  Speaker 8: Sacramento by way of Houston, Texas. It's your boy BT Kingsley.
• 0:32
  Speaker 4: You know what it is.
• 0:33
  Speaker 5: Let's get it.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Take it away, let's go.
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: It's your boy.
• 0:36
  Speaker 5: Rob Stapleton representing the Bronx, New York, the.
• 0:39
  Speaker 9: Home of hip-hop. Hey, Jackson.
• 0:48
  Speaker 5: Hey, Jackson.
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: Super.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: This is a comedy jam, make some motherfucking noise.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: It's going down.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Hey man, this is gonna be an electric episode. We
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: got five comics instead of the normal four. It's about
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: to be pandemonium in this bitch.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Are y'all ready?
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: I can't hear, I can't hear, I can't hear, I
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: can't hear. I don't hear the back of the room.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: After all that, I don't hear the back of the room.
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: What's up?
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, shit, y'all better get up for 50 Cent and
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: start posting about you. Goddamn, that nigga got up like.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Goddamn. Where y'all get that big-ass little nigga at the
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: same time? Put a camera on him.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: You from here?
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: Where you from? Because you're from elsewhere. Seattle? What part?
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: How far south? You stay out of trouble tonight. He
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: had all his shit on. He had his little christening beads.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: And who are you with? Are you guys friends? This
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: is an awkward friend. You met in line? You had
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: extra VIPs?
• 2:23
  Speaker 9: Who are you? Other black people like, fuck that, he
• 2:29
  Speaker 9: got an extra one.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: I heard your black ass.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: Who the fuck is the white boy?
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: You can't have shit special.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: I'm special, fuck that. That motherfucker got an extra song.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I need the same thing he got. He got an
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: extra song thing. That's my wife.
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: That's your wife. Hold on, wait. Is it white, white, black, black?
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: So you are the man with just the one front tooth.
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: That's your husband? No, don't sit down. Show that motherfucker.
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: Show your mouth. Show your mouth. Matter of fact, get
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: up here with me. Show your goddamn mouth. It's a taping.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: Bring your ass up here. We about to look at
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: your motherfucking mouth. Now stop. Look right down the middle
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: and smile with me.
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: That nigga will bite the shit out of you. Help
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: him back. He don't got his magical broom.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: Harry Potter is in this bitch. We about to start
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: this episode. That's the energy I want. It should be
• 3:30
  Speaker 3: a madhouse in this motherfucker.
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: Start making noise right now. Start making noise right now.
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Start making noise right now for Tacoma's own Frederick White!
• 3:37
  Speaker 9: Y'all ready to.
• 3:44
  Speaker 7: Turn around?
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: Appreciate you, man.
• 3:49
  Speaker 10: Listen, man, this shit is a spectacle for real, okay?
• 3:52
  Speaker 10: They had me do hair and makeup and shit. I
• 3:56
  Speaker 10: ain't never did hair and makeup in my life, okay?
• 3:59
  Speaker 10: For real, she was doing my shit and then she
• 4:01
  Speaker 10: put some shit on my lips. It wasn't like lip
• 4:04
  Speaker 10: balm or nothing. She put nipple cream on my lips. Listen,
• 4:13
  Speaker 10: I never in my life felt like a bad bitch,
• 4:15
  Speaker 10: but tonight.
• 4:18
  Speaker 5: Tonight, I'm a motherfucking baddie, okay?
• 4:27
  Speaker 11: I said, I walked past the mirror, I was like,
• 4:29
  Speaker 11: I look good to the motherfucking thing.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: What's your name?
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: Tried to holler at myself, man.
• 4:36
  Speaker 10: Hey, how many fathers we got in here?
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: All the fathers say whoop.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: Okay, all right.
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: Hold up, wait, my bad. All the active fathers, say whoop.
• 4:46
  Speaker 5: It sounded a little lighter.
• 4:47
  Speaker 11: For real, man, I love being an active father, man.
• 4:52
  Speaker 5: I got two sons. I got a six-year-old and a two-year-old. Okay,
• 4:57
  Speaker 5: feel me?
• 4:58
  Speaker 10: And my six-year-old, man, he a beast, bro. He just
• 5:00
  Speaker 10: got MVP in his Pop Warner League. Most touchdowns throughout
• 5:04
  Speaker 10: the season, okay?
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: You feel me? You feel me, 50?
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: 50?
• 5:07
  Speaker 5: You feel me?
• 5:11
  Speaker 10: It's a proud dad moment, bro, for real, for real.
• 5:13
  Speaker 10: And I love moments like this.
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: I love them.
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: You know why?
• 5:17
  Speaker 10: Because, see, my son's mom got another baby dad. And
• 5:23
  Speaker 10: his son ain't do that shit this year.
• 5:25
  Speaker 12: Better teach that nigga how to throw a ball.
• 5:29
  Speaker 9: What the fuck? Whose father of the year?
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: Me, bitch.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: I accept it.
• 5:39
  Speaker 5: Hey, so my question to y'all, how many of y'all
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: in here eat pussy?
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: Say whoop.
• 5:42
  Speaker 13: Whoop.
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: I heard some bitches.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: I heard some whoop.
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: Me, yes I do.
• 5:51
  Speaker 9: Clock it. Clock it, bad bitch.
• 5:55
  Speaker 5: No, let's ask a real question.
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: It's 2026.
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: How many of y'all in here eat ass?
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: Say whoop.
• 5:59
  Speaker 13: Whoop.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: I knew it. I knew it. You niggas is nasty, bro.
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: Nasty as hell. For real, that shit is nasty. That's
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: an exit. That's a fucking exit. I'm not going to
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: lick no booty. That shit disgusting as hell, nigga, for real.
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: So there was this one time.
• 6:19
  Speaker 4: What?
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: I'm not perfect. Okay, shit. There was this one time
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: I was eating coochie from the.
• 6:24
  Speaker 10: Back, man, and she was twerking, and she had twerked
• 6:28
  Speaker 10: too much of a twerk, and it went from coochie, coochie,
• 6:32
  Speaker 10: coochie to elbow skin.
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: I was like, hold up, bitch.
• 6:37
  Speaker 10: I know elbow skin when I fucking taste elbow skin.
• 6:40
  Speaker 11: First of all, how are you that fast? That's fucking crazy.
• 6:45
  Speaker 11: Then my tongue went numb, I was like, what the
• 6:47
  Speaker 11: fuck just happened to me, bitch? What the fuck, why
• 6:49
  Speaker 11: would you do this to me, bitch?
• 6:52
  Speaker 10: Yeah, man, I'm not perfect, man. So don't eat butt,
• 6:54
  Speaker 10: don't listen to these niggas. It was just this side
• 6:58
  Speaker 10: of the room.
• 6:59
  Speaker 5: I feel that. It's the YNs over here. All right, no,
• 7:04
  Speaker 5: real question. Y'all say y'all eat pussy, right? But how
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: do you eat pussy?
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: See, there's two ways.
• 7:11
  Speaker 5: The first way.
• 7:14
  Speaker 5: Yeah, nigga, I'm a teacher.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: You feel me?
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I'm a teacher.
• 7:21
  Speaker 5: I got you.
• 7:22
  Speaker 10: The first way is like this. With your ass all
• 7:25
  Speaker 10: up in the air... But you don't know if a
• 7:27
  Speaker 10: bitch got pets and don't nobody want to beard a
• 7:30
  Speaker 10: dragon in.
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: Their ass, okay? For real, bro, you got to protect
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: your shit.
• 7:36
  Speaker 11: The second way, my favorite way, preferably, is you got
• 7:39
  Speaker 11: to get down like a sniper.
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: Where's a camera that can see me?
• 7:45
  Speaker 10: You got to, and when you, and if you some
• 7:48
  Speaker 10: kilometers away, you just crawl up on that pussy, okay?
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: Your shit dry, nigga, let me get you right.
• 7:57
  Speaker 10: This shit dry, I gotta help this, I gotta help this.
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: For real though, man, fellas, when you.
• 8:03
  Speaker 10: Eat pussy, man, eat pussy for you, this is your
• 8:05
  Speaker 10: time to shine.
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: Fuck her, okay?
• 8:08
  Speaker 10: Let her know this is EA Sports and you in
• 8:10
  Speaker 10: the motherfucking game, all right?
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: Okay?
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: All right?
• 8:15
  Speaker 5: Let her know it's that time, okay? Let her know
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: to be comfortable, that she can chill. Kick your feet up.
• 8:22
  Speaker 5: Let them know it's welcoming, okay? Now look, when you
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: eat pussy, you gotta put your nostril in that motherfucker.
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: Y'all see that? You hear that? You hear them laughing?
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: They like that shit. They like that shit.
• 8:33
  Speaker 10: Me, me, I'm Colombian though, so before I eat any pussy,
• 8:39
  Speaker 10: I gotta make sure it's pure pussy.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Hold up.
• 8:43
  Speaker 5: Oh, shit.
• 8:44
  Speaker 4: That's not cut, bitch.
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: You came into the world like this. That's my time.
• 8:48
  Speaker 5: My name's Frederick White.
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: One more time for Frederick White! That's crazy you did
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: all that. He said, I don't need pushing. She was twerking.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: I'm like, wait a minute. Who is dancing on your face?
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: He's like, take that, take that, take that.
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: Oh, no, that's terrible. But he ate it.
• 9:34
  Speaker 9: Yeah, he ate it.
• 9:38
  Speaker 14: He tried to introduce it like y'all was wrong for
• 9:41
  Speaker 14: eating that.
• 9:42
  Speaker 4: These the wine here? And he's like, well, you know me,
• 9:45
  Speaker 4: I had a couple snacks. One more time for Frederick White, y'all.
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: Keep that same energy, but I want it bigger, I
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: want it bigger.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I want it bigger, I want more, I want it bigger,
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: I want more. For the next comedian, absolutely hysterical, representing Baltimore, Maryland,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: y'all give it up for Ray Diva.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: Oh my God, the ladies are looking good. Give it
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: up for the ladies, man. Come on, fellas, in the back,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: clap for the ladies. Don't you gay asses. All these beautiful,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: wholesome women in here.
• 10:25
  Speaker 6: I see like one whore, but the rest of y'all.
• 10:27
  Speaker 6: It's a new year. I'm telling the truth. I don't
• 10:31
  Speaker 6: care what people think about me. So I'm not going
• 10:34
  Speaker 6: to be up here long because my son is in
• 10:36
  Speaker 6: the car.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: I'm just, fuck it. I don't give a fuck. I don't,
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: don't worry about it. It's my sneaky, fat ass six
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: year old. He'll be okay.
• 10:44
  Speaker 6: He's sneaky and his fat is shit.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: This a kid. Don't bring home homework. Just recipes.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: I hate him.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And he want them fat ass kids that don't match either.
• 10:53
  Speaker 6: Like he's a 40 up top and a 36 men
• 10:55
  Speaker 6: down bottom.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: So I shop at the.
• 10:58
  Speaker 6: Children's place and the men's warehouse for his sneaky fat ass.
• 11:02
  Speaker 6: All his Instagram friends is restaurants. I can't stand them.
• 11:07
  Speaker 6: He's sneaky and he fat as shit, man. It's hard
• 11:11
  Speaker 6: being a parent out here. If we got any good parents,
• 11:13
  Speaker 6: give it up for yourselves, good parents.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm talking about.
• 11:18
  Speaker 6: And if you a parent and you ain't clap, we
• 11:20
  Speaker 6: respect your honesty. Least you know you ain't shit. Got
• 11:23
  Speaker 6: people sit out here, clap, kids be home alone eating
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: cup of noodles with no cable.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: You a piece of shit.
• 11:30
  Speaker 6: Got them kids watching Bouncin' Eye on TV all fucking night.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I hate you.
• 11:36
  Speaker 6: I got a lot of respect for parents who had
• 11:38
  Speaker 6: to watch them children during COVID.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: That was some tough times, wasn't it? That was some
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: tough times. Give it up for yourselves, man.
• 11:45
  Speaker 9: That's 16 months, man.
• 11:48
  Speaker 6: Nosy ass teachers in our houses and shit on them computers.
• 11:52
  Speaker 6: Reporting us for smoking weed. I just got two of
• 11:55
  Speaker 6: my kids back. I went through it.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: You know, because I got four children. I know, but
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: they all got the same father. Surprise, fuck y'all. My
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: kids match.
• 12:11
  Speaker 6: Some of y'all kids look like a bag of trail
• 12:13
  Speaker 6: mix judging me.
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: Every time I say.
• 12:18
  Speaker 6: That joke, some bitter Betty get mad at me. Cause
• 12:22
  Speaker 6: she done played Powerball where her pussy done got four
• 12:24
  Speaker 6: out of five.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: And I done hit the pick four.
• 12:28
  Speaker 6: Then she gonna tell me, yeah, well, my children special.
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: They got their own father and their own child support check.
• 12:34
  Speaker 6: I said, yeah, and they gotta do a group check
• 12:36
  Speaker 6: to talk to the motherfuckers too. Cause I'm divorced now
• 12:41
  Speaker 6: cause of the kids.
• 12:42
  Speaker 9: I'm dating.
• 12:44
  Speaker 6: I was upset because I scanned the crowd and none
• 12:46
  Speaker 6: of my type is in here.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: And you know what?
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: I've changed my type so drastically that I've had to
• 12:52
  Speaker 6: change my occupation to happen to anybody else. I became
• 12:58
  Speaker 6: a home healthcare provider because I like old niggas now.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: I like old niggas. I love them old, old.
• 13:06
  Speaker 6: Like Tuskegee Airmen old. I like niggas born between 1920
• 13:10
  Speaker 6: and 1940.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: That's my type.
• 13:15
  Speaker 6: I like diseases in my niggas.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: I need them to need me.
• 13:18
  Speaker 6: I like dementia, Alzheimer's, Legionnaire's disease, mesothelioma, gout, kidney failure.
• 13:26
  Speaker 6: All that shit is making me moist talking about it.
• 13:29
  Speaker 6: I love that shit. Oh my God, that dementia is
• 13:33
  Speaker 6: so sexy.
• 13:34
  Speaker 9: Oh my goodness.
• 13:36
  Speaker 6: Woo, when they have all them keys on that key
• 13:38
  Speaker 6: ring and shit. I love that shit. Cause them keys
• 13:41
  Speaker 6: go to something. They done accumulated things in life, you know?
• 13:44
  Speaker 6: That's some shit that doesn't belong to me. I tried
• 13:48
  Speaker 6: to date a young man for a couple of hours
• 13:50
  Speaker 6: last year. He had one key on his key ring.
• 13:53
  Speaker 6: It wasn't even a house key. It was a mailbox key.
• 13:55
  Speaker 6: I said, you don't even have a top and bottom
• 13:58
  Speaker 6: block key.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: You homeless bitch. I love Mr.
• 14:02
  Speaker 6: Sonny. That nigga go to bed at 2.30. I be
• 14:05
  Speaker 6: living my best life dating them old men.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Oh my God. If you ain't never, you ever date
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: a man with dementia, ma'am. Oh my God. You got
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: to try it. It's so rewarding. Oh my God.
• 14:16
  Speaker 6: You can ask them for $ 100 10 times a day.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: You going to win every time with Mr.
• 14:23
  Speaker 8: Sonny.
• 14:23
  Speaker 6: I'm telling you, get you an old man. But when
• 14:26
  Speaker 6: you get them that old, you got to have more
• 14:28
  Speaker 6: than one because they do die. Like it's just.
• 14:31
  Speaker 6: You know, there's no planning about it. They fragile as
• 14:33
  Speaker 6: fuck at that age. But the gifts hit different. My
• 14:38
  Speaker 6: last old man bought me a new roof. You ain't
• 14:42
  Speaker 6: never had a new roof. You ain't had shit in
• 14:44
  Speaker 6: your life. I didn't even need a new roof. I
• 14:49
  Speaker 6: got two roofs on my house right now. It's quiet
• 14:51
  Speaker 6: as shit. I can watch the weather channel in peace.
• 14:57
  Speaker 6: I wanted to give him some head for that roof.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: I did. I swear to God, I did. I wanted to...
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: because I felt that was head-worthy. That was $ 9, 000.
• 15:04
  Speaker 6: That my line, ladies? Now, I seen a couple of
• 15:08
  Speaker 6: y'all not clapping, and I don't like it, because I
• 15:10
  Speaker 6: thought we was friends and shit. We started off on
• 15:13
  Speaker 6: a good note. There's two kind of women I don't
• 15:15
  Speaker 6: mess with. I don't mess with women.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Who don't take care of their kids. You brought them
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: kids in.
• 15:19
  Speaker 6: This world, you're supposed to make sure you see that
• 15:21
  Speaker 6: shit through. You don't take care of your kids, I
• 15:24
  Speaker 6: think you're selfish and you're ornery. And I don't like
• 15:27
  Speaker 6: women who don't suck dick. I think you selfish and
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: you ornery. Sucking dicks save lives and you a part
• 15:33
  Speaker 6: of the problem, hoe. Do your fucking job. How dare
• 15:36
  Speaker 6: you sit next to a healthy dick and.
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: Don't suck it? I don't suck dick.
• 15:40
  Speaker 6: Move your ass out the way. You blocking some other
• 15:43
  Speaker 6: woman's blessing, bitch. It's a woman who could use that dick.
• 15:46
  Speaker 6: She might need an Apple Watch or an air fryer.
• 15:48
  Speaker 6: Move your ass the.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Fuck out the way.
• 15:51
  Speaker 9: Do your damn job.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: You even had some old women say, I don't suck
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: dick no more. Some of y'all should. You got an advantage.
• 15:57
  Speaker 6: Your teeth come out. Do your fucking job. Be a
• 16:00
  Speaker 6: civil rights leader.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I don't care what you call it. Do your job.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: I'm your girl, Ray D.
• 16:04
  Speaker 5: Vigar.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Peace. Have a nice night.
• 16:16
  Speaker 9: Do your job.
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah. That's a different kind of dick shot. You can
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: buy a.
• 16:23
  Speaker 9: $ 9, 000 roof.
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: She was so bossy.
• 16:26
  Speaker 9: I got a roof, a two-puffer, two-coffer, two-puffer.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Two roofs.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: A roof under another roof. That's a good head.
• 16:34
  Speaker 14: I don't think I've ever experienced two roofs worth of heads.
• 16:41
  Speaker 14: I've experienced hold an umbrella over this bitch head, but
• 16:44
  Speaker 14: I've never experienced two roofs on one home at the
• 16:47
  Speaker 14: same time, Ed.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: Just a double-decker. I can see what that be like.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: One more time for Ray Diva, y'all. I like that energy.
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: Let's keep that going for the next comedian. Let's keep
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: that going for the next comedian.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: More, more, more, more.
• 17:07
  Speaker 4: All the way from Dallas, Texas.
• 17:09
  Speaker 7: Y'all make some noise for Black Ron. Make some noise
• 17:18
  Speaker 7: in the building right now, man. Matter of fact, make
• 17:22
  Speaker 7: some more noise for Nate Jackson for making black history.
• 17:28
  Speaker 7: That man created something that they ain't did on TV
• 17:31
  Speaker 7: in at least 20 years. Matter of fact, if you
• 17:33
  Speaker 7: grown like I'm grown, you 30 and up, say God
• 17:36
  Speaker 7: damn me. Yeah, yeah, all the grown folks in the building,
• 17:42
  Speaker 7: say it from your chest, say God damn me. That's
• 17:47
  Speaker 7: what I say back at home in Texas. That's what
• 17:49
  Speaker 7: we say to punctuate our sentence. We say that already,
• 17:52
  Speaker 7: God damn me. That's what we say. Now, it's crazy
• 17:56
  Speaker 7: that we bring up history Because those of us that's grown,
• 18:00
  Speaker 7: we trapped in chasing nostalgia. We done looked up and
• 18:05
  Speaker 7: the kids done made us old. God damn it, we
• 18:07
  Speaker 7: just got grown, bitch. We just got grown. You know
• 18:12
  Speaker 7: what they played at my high school graduation? To the window,
• 18:17
  Speaker 7: to the wall. Bitch, I just got grown. And these
• 18:23
  Speaker 7: kids done made us old real quick. They calling the
• 18:27
  Speaker 7: 90s throwback. Bitch, you mean my childhood? Fuck you mean
• 18:33
  Speaker 7: back in the day? Bitch, that wasn't no back in
• 18:35
  Speaker 7: the goddamn day. That was the other day. And the
• 18:39
  Speaker 7: reason why we chasing nostalgia is because we were the
• 18:42
  Speaker 7: first generation that were victims to great marketing campaigns.
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: All the way from, this is your brain on drugs? Mm-hmm.
• 18:53
  Speaker 7: How many of y'all remember Milk Does Your Body Good?
• 18:56
  Speaker 7: Had black folks drinking milk like that shit wasn't tearing
• 18:59
  Speaker 7: our stomach up. Because it did our body good. Trapped
• 19:05
  Speaker 7: us in all the marketing program. When I was a
• 19:08
  Speaker 7: little boy, I was a Hulk Hogan maniac.
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: You know how many.
• 19:13
  Speaker 7: Good t-shirts I tore up at my mama? My mama
• 19:17
  Speaker 7: threatened her. My mama came, she said, you tear another
• 19:19
  Speaker 7: t-shirt up, I'm going to Hulk your Hogan. I used
• 19:23
  Speaker 7: to be in the house, you know what, brother, when
• 19:26
  Speaker 7: I get you in that leather match, brother, I went
• 19:28
  Speaker 7: fucking up good ass t-shirts. Then we got grown, found
• 19:33
  Speaker 7: out Hulk Hogan was a racist. We was like, bitch, what?
• 19:38
  Speaker 7: Fucked our whole life up, man. That's the reason why
• 19:42
  Speaker 7: our babies fucked up. We started this flaming hot shit.
• 19:47
  Speaker 7: All the chips that was hot, all the candy that
• 19:49
  Speaker 7: was sexy. all the drinks that was bad for you.
• 19:52
  Speaker 7: They sold us Tampico, 99 cents a gallon, and we
• 19:57
  Speaker 7: was chugging milky juice. No wonder your baby can wake
• 20:03
  Speaker 7: up and eat a bag of blue takis.
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: Wash that shit down with a warm Mountain.
• 20:09
  Speaker 7: Dew and run like this to school with a fucking
• 20:12
  Speaker 7: hoodie on and some basketball shorts in January.
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: Whole world fucked.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Up, man.
• 20:21
  Speaker 7: They did all this marketing shit on us. The coldest
• 20:24
  Speaker 7: marketing program they ever pulled off was Red Bull. I'll
• 20:29
  Speaker 7: take you back in time. It was the year of
• 20:30
  Speaker 7: our Lord when Cash Money Records took over. White people,
• 20:38
  Speaker 7: that was the 99 and the 2000. And they hit
• 20:44
  Speaker 7: the streets. They hit every inner city, every community. They
• 20:47
  Speaker 7: hit them with all these brand new rap geotrackers. And
• 20:52
  Speaker 7: what was in the trunk? 200 ice cold cans of
• 20:55
  Speaker 7: Red Bull. Which means somebody in the logistics community already
• 21:00
  Speaker 7: had worked out. They was like, let's ice them down
• 21:03
  Speaker 7: before we hit the streets. Cause niggas love they drinks
• 21:06
  Speaker 7: in that limbo in between froze and not froze. And
• 21:11
  Speaker 7: they hit the streets with brand new can of some crack.
• 21:16
  Speaker 7: And we're throwing them hoes out. You get you one,
• 21:18
  Speaker 7: you get you one. Fat ass nigga, you get you too.
• 21:22
  Speaker 7: And we was like, what the fuck is this, this
• 21:24
  Speaker 7: skinny ass can? They was like, that's Red Bull. We
• 21:26
  Speaker 7: was like, Red Bull? They was like, it give you wings.
• 21:31
  Speaker 7: And we was like, wings? I ain't never had no wings.
• 21:34
  Speaker 7: You remember you opened the can, there was a crunch
• 21:36
  Speaker 7: ass sound. You was like, oh shit. You took that
• 21:40
  Speaker 7: first swig, ooh, what the fuck is that? They was like,
• 21:44
  Speaker 7: that's energy.
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: He was like, energy?
• 21:49
  Speaker 7: You start drinking that shit, and it was so nasty good.
• 21:54
  Speaker 7: It was an acquired taste like eating pussy for the
• 21:57
  Speaker 7: first time.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: I don't know if I like it, but everybody else
• 22:00
  Speaker 4: doing it. I think I should. It's fresh. And they
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: gave them Red Bulls out the whole summer for free.
• 22:10
  Speaker 4: We couldn't even purchase them.
• 22:11
  Speaker 7: By the time they hit the store, they were charging
• 22:14
  Speaker 7: you a stupid-ass price, $ 4.
• 22:15
  Speaker 4: 65. Now you all at work. Ain't nobody got to
• 22:19
  Speaker 4: lose $ 5. I need to go get me a Red Bull.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: I feel my energy going down.
• 22:27
  Speaker 7: You get up to the store mad because they wasn't
• 22:30
  Speaker 7: cold already.
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: Come on, baby. You got them bitches room temperature. Come on, baby.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: You're fucking me up, baby. I need one right now, baby.
• 22:39
  Speaker 7: Drink that goddamn Red Bull, your ass, all that work
• 22:42
  Speaker 7: like a goddamn crack head, because it hit you like
• 22:45
  Speaker 7: crack the first hour, and then the second hour, it
• 22:48
  Speaker 7: hit you like hell run. And you just get to
• 22:52
  Speaker 7: falling the fuck out. Then they made a big old can.
• 22:57
  Speaker 7: Then they realized they was killing their core demographic, so
• 23:00
  Speaker 7: they made a sugar-free one for the Negroes.
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: They was like, hold on, niggas got diabetes, let's cut
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: that sugar out of them.
• 23:08
  Speaker 7: They saw how good Red Bull was. They started hiring
• 23:11
  Speaker 7: all the competitors. They was like, well, bitch, if you
• 23:13
  Speaker 7: like being a bull, imagine if you was a monster.
• 23:18
  Speaker 7: He was like, I think I want to be a monster.
• 23:20
  Speaker 7: I think I want to be a monster. They was like,
• 23:21
  Speaker 7: we know you do, bitch. That's why we got brand
• 23:23
  Speaker 7: new flavors. We got juice in one of them. We
• 23:26
  Speaker 7: got coffee in one of them. And then some of
• 23:28
  Speaker 7: y'all was like, no, fuck all that. Cook my dope down.
• 23:33
  Speaker 7: I need to drink five hours worth in one goddamn shot.
• 23:38
  Speaker 7: And they was like, all right, big boy, we got
• 23:40
  Speaker 7: grape for your black ass. We got mixed berry. We
• 23:45
  Speaker 7: was on that Red Bull so hard, we got grown
• 23:48
  Speaker 7: with that shit.
• 23:48
  Speaker 4: We took it to the club with us.
• 23:51
  Speaker 7: We started mixing it with our vodka.
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: Y'all remember that?
• 23:55
  Speaker 7: Yeah, y'all remember the vodka Red Bull? Had your body
• 23:59
  Speaker 7: in confusion? Cause the vodka got you like, bitch, sit down.
• 24:05
  Speaker 7: And the Red Bull got you like, bitch, you better not.
• 24:11
  Speaker 7: So now you all in the middle of the dance
• 24:12
  Speaker 7: floor confused. You want to sit down and stand up
• 24:17
  Speaker 7: at the same goddamn time.
• 24:19
  Speaker 4: You just sitting there sitting down and standing up.
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: And that goddamn Red Bull and vodka got your body
• 24:25
  Speaker 7: in flux. I think that's how twerking got started. I'm
• 24:31
  Speaker 7: Black Ron, I'll fuck with y'all later baby. Anyway, he
• 24:47
  Speaker 7: kissed slaves goodnight. I know you've been changed.
• 24:56
  Speaker 9: I know I bet.
• 24:58
  Speaker 4: I know you've been changed. He had the gates of
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: black heaven. I see you got your wings. Red bull.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: One more time for Black Ron, absolutely hysterical. Energy up,
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: let's go, energy up.
• 25:20
  Speaker 4: Let's go.
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: Next comedian coming to the stage, this one of my
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: best friends on the goddamn planet, make.
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: Some noise for BT Kingsley!
• 25:35
  Speaker 8: What up? Give it up for everybody y'all saw so
• 25:38
  Speaker 8: far tonight.
• 25:40
  Speaker 9: Y'all look good in this bitch. Give it up for me.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: I just lost 28 pounds, digga.
• 25:44
  Speaker 8: You see it, bitch?
• 25:50
  Speaker 9: Yeah.
• 25:51
  Speaker 8: Here's the fucking problem. I'll be honest with you, digga.
• 25:53
  Speaker 8: I only start losing weight in person. I didn't give
• 25:55
  Speaker 8: a fuck about this shit. I've been on TV. Didn't
• 25:57
  Speaker 8: give a fuck about it. On the internet, these niggas
• 25:59
  Speaker 8: can't be talking to me like that. Cause this the
• 26:02
  Speaker 8: worst shape to be in. I don't give a fuck
• 26:03
  Speaker 8: what you heard. Cause see, if you big, you always
• 26:06
  Speaker 8: get all the cool big people shit. Every big nigga
• 26:08
  Speaker 8: I know can fight, sing, cook, or play the drums.
• 26:11
  Speaker 9: Every one of y'all.
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: It's always a job for security waiting.
• 26:13
  Speaker 5: On your ass.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: This shit come with challenges.
• 26:16
  Speaker 8: Niggas see me and they see, cause if you looking
• 26:18
  Speaker 8: at me, you know, oh, this nigga just lazy.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: Niggas in good shape see me?
• 26:23
  Speaker 8: Them niggas be like, yeah, nigga, you need to work
• 26:25
  Speaker 8: out with me. I say, you don't know what the
• 26:26
  Speaker 8: fuck you up against. I just started a new diet
• 26:30
  Speaker 8: called cookies, bitch. And I'm loving the look on y'all
• 26:34
  Speaker 8: faces because y'all, he don't look that bad. Y'all don't
• 26:37
  Speaker 8: realize this shirt tight as hell. I've been sucking in
• 26:40
  Speaker 8: since I got up here. If I relax, nigga, don't
• 26:44
  Speaker 8: you sit back.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: Don't you sit back with them big ass titties. She's like, ooh,
• 26:49
  Speaker 1: this show in 3D.
• 26:51
  Speaker 5: You shut the hell up.
• 26:53
  Speaker 8: Y'all laughing at me and not with me and I
• 26:54
  Speaker 8: don't like how I feel.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: This was me trying to get some pussy.
• 26:58
  Speaker 5: I'm going to be honest with you.
• 26:59
  Speaker 8: This is the reality that if you fuck me, you
• 27:01
  Speaker 8: got to fuck me like this.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: I'll be behind you doing some stupid shit.
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: Peek-a-boo.
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: Y'all still fuck like this?
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: Grow up.
• 27:11
  Speaker 8: Nigga, this shit is over, bro. Have some fun when
• 27:14
  Speaker 8: you back there, bro. She can't see you. You ain't
• 27:17
  Speaker 8: never hit the nay-nay in the pussy.
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: You ain't never hit the nay-nay. I lost all the
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: white people when I said nay-nay.
• 27:25
  Speaker 8: I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
• 27:27
  Speaker 6: I apologize.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: White people, you ain't never hit the.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: I've been trying to lose this weight. This shit is tough, nigga.
• 27:35
  Speaker 1: Tacos taste the best at 3 a.m. That's when they good.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Talk about stop eating at seven.
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: The truck don't.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: Open till nine. I be doing fat shit.
• 27:47
  Speaker 8: That's when I knew I had a fucking problem, nigga.
• 27:49
  Speaker 8: I said, I got to stop this shit. I'm a
• 27:51
  Speaker 8: Monday dieter. Anybody a Monday dieter? You be like, this
• 27:53
  Speaker 8: Monday I'm starting my diet. Oh no, I'm serious this time.
• 27:58
  Speaker 8: I'm only going to eat kale and arugula. I'm going
• 28:01
  Speaker 8: to have one raisin for dinner. Lemonade with hot sauce
• 28:04
  Speaker 8: in it. Cocaine, whatever it takes. I'm going to lose
• 28:09
  Speaker 8: this weight. Monday, you do good. You're proud of yourself.
• 28:12
  Speaker 8: Ain't healthy the whole day.
• 28:13
  Speaker 5: Okay, go ahead then.
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Tuesday, you do even better. You go to the gym.
• 28:17
  Speaker 9: Look at you.
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: Wednesday is where the bullshit starts. Wednesday, you go to
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: work and they walk in with them goddamn cupcakes.
• 28:24
  Speaker 8: It's somebody's birthday. You see the cupcakes. You say, I'm
• 28:27
  Speaker 8: about to have seven cupcakes.
• 28:30
  Speaker 9: What about your diet?
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Shut up, bitch.
• 28:31
  Speaker 8: I'm finna have nine cupcakes. If you've ever danced when
• 28:36
  Speaker 8: you saw your food, you got a fucking issue. If
• 28:40
  Speaker 8: tonight you was like, niggas, is.
• 28:41
  Speaker 9: It my wings, nigga?
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: Good cupcakes.
• 28:45
  Speaker 5: They're nothing but cakes.
• 28:47
  Speaker 9: Nigga, they're nothing but cakes?
• 28:49
  Speaker 5: Fuck your grandma cake.
• 28:51
  Speaker 8: The nothing but cakes is so fucking good.
• 28:55
  Speaker 9: I dropped one of them.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: Bitches in the dirt the other day. I said, well,
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: I can't let it go to waste.
• 29:00
  Speaker 8: You know them motherfuckers good to ice and be holding
• 29:02
  Speaker 8: on to the cake like this.
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: Like, please don't leave me. Them motherfuckers are delicious.
• 29:09
  Speaker 8: Y'all don't know nothing about this life. Did you ever
• 29:10
  Speaker 8: eat off your own chest? Y'all full of shit. Y'all
• 29:15
  Speaker 8: ain't never did this shit before? You been doing good
• 29:17
  Speaker 8: on your diet all week. You pass a drive-thru, you
• 29:19
  Speaker 8: didn't know it was open. You say, well, if it's open,
• 29:21
  Speaker 8: the Lord wants me to have that. You go home,
• 29:25
  Speaker 8: you lay in your bed, you put 40 nuggets on
• 29:27
  Speaker 8: your chest.
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: Y'all never done this shit before! You put the.
• 29:31
  Speaker 8: Sauces on your stomach and you prop your head up
• 29:33
  Speaker 8: so you can see paradise.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: You go barbecue, buffalo, honey, mustard.
• 29:37
  Speaker 8: That's pretty good right there.
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: Honey mustard Polynesian ranch. Fuck them other sauces. Ranch, ranch, ranch.
• 29:48
  Speaker 9: Ranch, ranch. Ranch, ranch, ranch.
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: Always good.
• 29:52
  Speaker 5: I don't give.
• 29:53
  Speaker 8: A fuck what you put it on. I saw a
• 29:56
  Speaker 8: raw frog the other day jumping through the air. I
• 29:58
  Speaker 8: grabbed that nigga, dipped his ass. Best fucking frog face
• 30:02
  Speaker 8: I ever ate in my life. The frog knew he
• 30:05
  Speaker 8: was delicious. The frog said, nigga, is that ranch on me?
• 30:11
  Speaker 8: I'm fucking dumb.
• 30:12
  Speaker 4: I was trying to lose the weight.
• 30:14
  Speaker 8: It's hard because all the healthy people I know is
• 30:17
  Speaker 8: too fucking healthy. I start drinking a lot of water,
• 30:19
  Speaker 8: lose the weight. Niggas stop me from drinking water. Don't
• 30:22
  Speaker 8: drink that water.
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: Drink the acala water. Have y'all heard of this shit?
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: I'm talking to y'all. Y'all know what I'm talking about?
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: This is the alkaline water.
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: That's the good water.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: I'll look this alkaline water up.
• 30:32
  Speaker 8: Amazing for the inside of your body.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: Good for your organs, good for your blood. You know
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: what it's terrible for? Your fucking teeth.
• 30:40
  Speaker 8: Yeah, you supposed to drink this shit with a straw
• 30:41
  Speaker 8: so it don't touch the inside of your mouth. This
• 30:43
  Speaker 8: shit is terrible for you. So let me get this right.
• 30:45
  Speaker 8: I'ma have a six pack and none of these, you
• 30:49
  Speaker 8: keep that goddamn water. I keep that shit. I drink
• 30:52
  Speaker 8: regular water with a battery in it.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: It's the same shit.
• 30:57
  Speaker 8: If you get a AAA battery and put in some
• 31:00
  Speaker 8: Aquafina and.
• 31:01
  Speaker 9: Shake it up, it's acolyte.
• 31:03
  Speaker 5: That's how you acolyte.
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: Dasani Duracell, shake it up.
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: It's acolyte.
• 31:09
  Speaker 9: That's how you do the shit. So sick of these things, man.
• 31:12
  Speaker 8: Because my body's only bullshit because I live in LA.
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: This was a physique in Houston.
• 31:21
  Speaker 5: I'm serious.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: I was a personal trainer in Houston.
• 31:25
  Speaker 8: I'll leave sales at Herbalife with this body. I want
• 31:28
  Speaker 8: this shit right here. Look at the ladies, look at
• 31:31
  Speaker 8: they lips. This right here, the goddamn crotch cleavage, the
• 31:34
  Speaker 8: Captain America, the how does, I want this right here.
• 31:38
  Speaker 8: I don't even want two, I want one. If I
• 31:40
  Speaker 8: get one of these, bitch, I'm cutting all the pockets
• 31:44
  Speaker 8: out of my jeans. My friend's too fucking healthy, bro.
• 31:49
  Speaker 8: My homeboy is super healthy, man. I asked my homeboy
• 31:51
  Speaker 8: the other day, I said, what'd you have for dinner
• 31:52
  Speaker 8: last night? Healthy people say shit you ain't never heard
• 31:55
  Speaker 8: of before. I said, what'd you have for dinner last night?
• 31:57
  Speaker 8: He said, oh, last night, I had wild-caught tilapia and
• 32:01
  Speaker 8: organic corn. Now, here's the best part of the night.
• 32:04
  Speaker 8: I'm looking at y'all, and this, goddammit, we in Sea-Tac,
• 32:07
  Speaker 8: we in.
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: Tacoma, Washington.
• 32:08
  Speaker 8: Y'all too close to the water. Y'all got good fish here.
• 32:11
  Speaker 8: It's about 11 of y'all healthy enough to know ain't no.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: Such thing as wild-caught tilapia.
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 32:17
  Speaker 8: And the rest of you niggas confused because you don't
• 32:18
  Speaker 8: know what the term wild caught mean.
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: Wild caught mean it was caught in the wild.
• 32:23
  Speaker 8: Can't catch tilapia in the wild because tilapia ain't fish.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Surprise!
• 32:28
  Speaker 9: I'm serious, nigga. Fuck these jokes.
• 32:30
  Speaker 8: I'm here with a message. Stop eating that shit. Ain't
• 32:34
  Speaker 8: no new fish, you guys. Tilapia just came out, nigga.
• 32:38
  Speaker 8: I remember when the shit dropped. It was Cardi B
• 32:41
  Speaker 8: then tilapia. You go to the ocean and catch a tilapia.
• 32:45
  Speaker 8: If you do, it's going to have biceps. With a
• 32:48
  Speaker 8: tattoo on the biceps, I ain't no pussy ass fish.
• 32:50
  Speaker 8: So I have three eyes like that fish on the Simpsons.
• 32:55
  Speaker 8: Can't catch no goddamn organic corn. Ain't no such thing
• 32:59
  Speaker 8: as organic corn. Corn is plastic.
• 33:03
  Speaker 4: Hello, hello?
• 33:04
  Speaker 8: I say corn is plastic. Yeah, fuck these jokes, nigga.
• 33:07
  Speaker 8: I'm here with a message, bitch. Stop eating that shit.
• 33:10
  Speaker 8: My whole life, I thought corn was a vegetable. Your
• 33:13
  Speaker 8: body don't know what the fuck corn is. Your body
• 33:15
  Speaker 8: think you eating marbles again. Your body know what to
• 33:19
  Speaker 8: do with vegetables. Your body has no idea what corn is.
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: Hey, listen to what the fuck I'm telling you. You
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: put corn in your mouth, you chew.
• 33:26
  Speaker 8: It up, it goes through your whole digestive system. Come
• 33:29
  Speaker 8: out your ass, corn. Y'all talk amongst yourselves. I ain't
• 33:33
  Speaker 8: got time for this shit. Put it in the comments.
• 33:37
  Speaker 8: And corn don't care, nigga. Corn gangsta as fuck, bro.
• 33:41
  Speaker 8: Corn does not care. You chew corn up 20, 30, 40,
• 33:43
  Speaker 8: 50 times. It go through your esophagus into your stomach acid,
• 33:48
  Speaker 8: large intestine, small intestine. Corn walk out your ass undefeated.
• 33:54
  Speaker 8: Corn walk out your body like this. That's crazy to me.
• 33:59
  Speaker 8: You really tried to kill me. You a hoe ass nigga, bro.
• 34:03
  Speaker 8: Can't kill me.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Bitch, I'm corn. Last time that I checked. Corn from Hilltop.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Y'all keep supporting my fucking brother, Nate Jackson.
• 34:13
  Speaker 8: I go by the name of BT Kingsley.
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: BT Kingsley!
• 34:28
  Speaker 9: He said, that's crazy.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: Last time that I checked, he made corn a crib.
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Some people at home are like, I don't know if
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: that's right, Cass.
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: Somebody else is like, I don't eat boring.
• 34:42
  Speaker 9: I don't eat no boring no more.
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: I just be picking back being bull, bro. I don't
• 34:48
  Speaker 4: eat no more boring.
• 34:49
  Speaker 14: One more time, BT Kingsley.
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: Let's go, next comic. Let's go, next comic.
• 34:58
  Speaker 5: Last comic on the episode.
• 35:01
  Speaker 15: All the way from New York City, Rob Stapleton!
• 35:15
  Speaker 13: We up in here. Oh man, y'all looking good. I'ma
• 35:18
  Speaker 13: tell y'all, I can't stand dumb shit. If you like
• 35:20
  Speaker 13: me can't stand dumb shit, make some noise.
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: I hate dumb shit. You ever have somebody hit you
• 35:25
  Speaker 5: with some dumb shit?
• 35:26
  Speaker 13: You ever push the elevator for the button and another
• 35:28
  Speaker 13: motherfucker come and hit the button right behind you? Good
• 35:30
  Speaker 13: thing you was here. Wouldn't have thought about doing that
• 35:34
  Speaker 13: shit twice. I pushed it and you pushed it. I'm like,
• 35:37
  Speaker 13: oh shit, it's coming now. No, no, when I pushed it,
• 35:41
  Speaker 13: that was fire cracker. That was red, but that was
• 35:44
  Speaker 13: fire cracker red now.
• 35:46
  Speaker 5: No, no, no, no.
• 35:47
  Speaker 13: When you pushed that button, it was going like this.
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: Then you pushed it again, the elevator going like this now.
• 35:54
  Speaker 13: I can't stand them shit. Let me give you an
• 35:56
  Speaker 13: example of what I'm talking about. You ever see a
• 35:57
  Speaker 13: lady with a baby? You say, how old's your baby?
• 36:00
  Speaker 13: She be like three, but she going to be four.
• 36:01
  Speaker 13: You be like, get the fuck out of here.
• 36:06
  Speaker 5: I thought she was going to skip four and go
• 36:08
  Speaker 5: right to fucking five.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: Get the fuck out of here. She three, but she
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: going to be four. Get the fuck.
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: Out of here.
• 36:16
  Speaker 13: Tell him what you said. She said the baby three,
• 36:18
  Speaker 13: but she going to be four. That's what the fuck
• 36:20
  Speaker 13: I said. I thought she was going to skip four
• 36:23
  Speaker 13: and go right to five. So before she was three,
• 36:24
  Speaker 13: she was two. Get the fuck out of here. I
• 36:28
  Speaker 13: can't believe this dumb shit. I can't stand dumb shit.
• 36:31
  Speaker 13: Dumb shit get on my motherfucking nerve. Big shout out
• 36:33
  Speaker 13: to the people that don't eat pork but still eat bacon.
• 36:38
  Speaker 13: You know what the fuck I'm talking about. You ever
• 36:40
  Speaker 13: see a motherfucker that don't eat pork acting like he
• 36:41
  Speaker 13: don't know it's bacon? Get the fuck out of here.
• 36:44
  Speaker 13: This is bacon. Get the fuck out of here. Did
• 36:47
  Speaker 13: it take another bite? No, this can't be.
• 36:49
  Speaker 7: Pork, pork.
• 36:51
  Speaker 5: This ain't come from no pig, this came from my bacon.
• 36:55
  Speaker 13: Dumbass motherfucker. Can't stand dumb shit, man. Just watching a
• 37:00
  Speaker 13: porno every day. You ever watch a porno? And the
• 37:03
  Speaker 13: shit got a plot? What the fuck do a porno
• 37:05
  Speaker 13: got a plot for? You ever watch a porno and shit?
• 37:07
  Speaker 13: I don't give a fuck about a porno. Why do
• 37:09
  Speaker 13: you watch porno? Because you want to see some fucking,
• 37:10
  Speaker 13: you want to see some sex. We want to see
• 37:12
  Speaker 13: some fucking. I don't give a fuck about the acting.
• 37:14
  Speaker 13: I don't give a fuck about the screen exposition.
• 37:17
  Speaker 5: I don't give a fuck.
• 37:19
  Speaker 13: I ain't never watch a porno and not understand what
• 37:21
  Speaker 13: the fuck is going on. I ain't never watch a porno,
• 37:24
  Speaker 13: 20 minutes into it, like, that's why he fucked her.
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: Oh, he's the antagonist.
• 37:31
  Speaker 12: Now the storyline's coming together.
• 37:38
  Speaker 13: I was confused earlier, but now I know what the
• 37:42
  Speaker 13: fuck is going on, huh? Who the fuck is watching
• 37:46
  Speaker 13: porn now? You can stream porn and watch porn for hours.
• 37:51
  Speaker 13: You can watch porn for hours and then go to
• 37:54
  Speaker 13: work and blend right into society. Okay, who has their homework?
• 38:04
  Speaker 13: Back in the day, I remember you used to have
• 38:05
  Speaker 13: to rent porn.
• 38:06
  Speaker 5: Remember that shit? Remember that?
• 38:08
  Speaker 13: You used to have to rent porn? You're not fucked
• 38:10
  Speaker 13: up with renting it. The shit was when you had
• 38:12
  Speaker 13: to bring the shit back. That's when it was fucked up.
• 38:15
  Speaker 13: You feel like a fucking pervert. That's when they fuck
• 38:27
  Speaker 13: with you. The man who rented Buttfuckers Part 3, please
• 38:30
  Speaker 13: return to the register. With the man who rented Buttfuckers
• 38:33
  Speaker 13: Part 3 and pounding Paula's pussy, please return to the register.
• 38:37
  Speaker 5: Your children are waiting for you. Listen.
• 38:44
  Speaker 13: I said wait in the goddamn car is what I said.
• 38:47
  Speaker 13: Just like your goddamn mother. Went to the Chinese restaurant
• 38:51
  Speaker 13: the other day. I hate going to Chinese restaurant. New York, especially.
• 38:54
  Speaker 13: They got the takeout Chinese restaurant. They just want you
• 38:56
  Speaker 13: to order and get the fuck out.
• 38:58
  Speaker 5: They got everything. Not have a conversation with you.
• 39:01
  Speaker 13: One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, order.
• 39:08
  Speaker 13: You ever go to Chinese restaurant, try to have a
• 39:09
  Speaker 13: conversation with you, don't give a fuck. You go in
• 39:11
  Speaker 13: there and order, be like, yo, you see the.
• 39:13
  Speaker 7: Game last night?
• 39:13
  Speaker 5: Please no talk, please.
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: Shut the fuck up, please. Shut the fuck up, order!
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: One, two, three, four.
• 39:25
  Speaker 5: Yo, we gonna stay here, don't stay here, more niggas come, please.
• 39:29
  Speaker 4: Cole, we bring food to you.
• 39:33
  Speaker 13: You stay here, turn to Summer Jam, more black people come.
• 39:38
  Speaker 5: 10 minutes later, pow, pow, pow. Black people all the time, pow, pow, pow.
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: How come no hug?
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: All the time, pow, pow.
• 39:48
  Speaker 5: I miss being a goddamn kid. Being a kid was
• 39:50
  Speaker 5: the shit. You hear me? Being a kid was the
• 39:52
  Speaker 5: goddamn shit. Let me tell y'all this.
• 39:55
  Speaker 13: Let me tell you this. You're born into your fucking family.
• 39:58
  Speaker 13: We all got friends, but you born into your fucking family.
• 40:00
  Speaker 13: And we all got fucked up family.
• 40:02
  Speaker 5: You hear me? We all got fucked up family.
• 40:04
  Speaker 13: We all got that aunt who house-danked me. If you
• 40:08
  Speaker 13: ain't laughing, you the fucking aunt. We all got that
• 40:12
  Speaker 13: fucking on. She nice as fuck. When you a little kid,
• 40:14
  Speaker 13: you tell the truth. You get to the house, she
• 40:16
  Speaker 13: be like, hi, Robert.
• 40:17
  Speaker 4: You be like, why your house smell like this? Your
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: house stink. I smelled it.
• 40:23
  Speaker 5: From the car. Your father hit you. Why the fuck
• 40:26
  Speaker 5: you say the house stink? Because you and mommy said
• 40:28
  Speaker 5: it in the car.
• 40:31
  Speaker 13: When black people get together, I don't know if white
• 40:32
  Speaker 13: people do this shit, but when black people get together,
• 40:34
  Speaker 13: you always find out you got new cousins in your family.
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: You ever do this shit?
• 40:38
  Speaker 5: Your parents being in the living room, and they make.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: You leave to go there with your cousins.
• 40:42
  Speaker 5: They go, play with your cousins.
• 40:43
  Speaker 4: I don't know them like that. One of them got
• 40:47
  Speaker 4: a gun down.
• 40:50
  Speaker 13: The parents wanted to smoke the reefers, so they want
• 40:52
  Speaker 13: you to get the fuck out. You ever see when
• 40:54
  Speaker 13: they want to smoke the reefers? You go in the room,
• 40:57
  Speaker 13: you got to, you know, you mad.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: You ain't there.
• 40:58
  Speaker 13: None of them talk to you either, because they don't
• 41:00
  Speaker 13: really see you as their cousin, so you be like,
• 41:01
  Speaker 13: I hate this house.
• 41:02
  Speaker 5: It's stinking here anyway.
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: It's stinking here.
• 41:07
  Speaker 5: It's stinker in this house. They got one video game.
• 41:09
  Speaker 13: You wait an hour and a half to get on
• 41:10
  Speaker 13: that motherfucking video game.
• 41:13
  Speaker 5: It be your fucking time. They don't know this the
• 41:15
  Speaker 5: only game you got too. You be playing, you be like.
• 41:20
  Speaker 13: One of your cousins be like, yo, he nice. Yo,
• 41:25
  Speaker 13: that's my cousin. That's my first cousin. and one of
• 41:35
  Speaker 13: your cousins come and eat the cookie. Where'd you get
• 41:46
  Speaker 13: that cookie from? Cousin be like, from the kitchen? You
• 41:49
  Speaker 13: be like, bring me one, uh-uh. All the adults say
• 41:52
  Speaker 13: you can get.
• 41:53
  Speaker 5: One cookie at a time, but you gotta get it yourself.
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: Now you're like, fuck.
• 41:57
  Speaker 13: If you give up this fucking joystick, you'd fucking lose
• 42:00
  Speaker 13: all cool points.
• 42:00
  Speaker 5: Now you're like, shit. But the way he's eating that cookie,
• 42:03
  Speaker 5: he's like, ooh.
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: You ever do this shit? You ever get up to
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: go in the kitchen, you go get the cookie, you go.
• 42:13
  Speaker 13: Past the living room, you see your Aunt Margaret, you go,
• 42:15
  Speaker 13: Aunt Margaret, where my mother and father?
• 42:18
  Speaker 5: She be like, they left, you spending the night.
• 42:20
  Speaker 12: Ain't got nobody staying out there.
• 42:27
  Speaker 5: It's stinking here.
• 42:29
  Speaker 4: Ain't got fucking nobody staying out there. I'm not the
• 42:33
  Speaker 4: only one that smell this shit. I got nobody saying nothing.
• 42:39
  Speaker 5: You ever cry so hard you can't make no noise?
• 42:40
  Speaker 4: I hate it here.
• 42:46
  Speaker 12: I got nobody saying nothing. I'm not the only one
• 42:50
  Speaker 12: that smell this shit. You got to sleep in your
• 42:57
  Speaker 12: cousin's bed. His bed smell like piss ass syrup in
• 43:03
  Speaker 12: the dead of it. You sitting in the bed.
• 43:09
  Speaker 4: I got nobody saying nothing.
• 43:12
  Speaker 12: You don't even sleep, Reggie. How come you not saying nothing?
• 43:16
  Speaker 12: I know you smell this shit.
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: I got nobody saying nothing.
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: And then come for the fucking round and hit you
• 43:22
  Speaker 5: a little. I hate this fucking house. Rob Stapleton, thanks
• 43:33
  Speaker 5: a lot, y'all. Peace and love. Nate, love you, baby!
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: Hey, one more time for Rob Stapleton, y'all!
• 43:54
  Speaker 15: Rob Stapleton, Frederick White, Ray Diva, Black Ron, and BT Kingsley!
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: Thank y'all for rocking with us. We'll see you next week.
• 44:14
  Speaker 9: Thank you.