Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - Lane Brain

Transcript

Hour 3 - Lane Brain · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Boom, shaka, Laca. It's our number three. Our number three
0:06
Speaker 1: is ready to go. Talking college football, the big news
0:09
Speaker 1: of the day, Lane Kiffen was introduced as the new
0:12
Speaker 1: head football coach in Baton Rouge. What can LS you
0:16
Speaker 1: expect from Lane Kiffen as head coach? Also, Lane Kivin
0:20
Speaker 1: says he will restore LSU to be the best program
0:24
Speaker 1: in all of college football. How does that hit you?
0:28
Speaker 1: And we had a free agent signing in Major League Baseball?
0:32
Speaker 1: What kind of fit is closer? Devin Williams late of
0:36
Speaker 1: the Yankees. He's staying in the Big Apple and he's
0:39
Speaker 1: going across town over to Queens to play for the Mets.
0:42
Speaker 1: We'll talk about that as well. Right now here, it
0:45
Speaker 1: is our number three. You are not a lame brain,
0:51
Speaker 1: you are a lane brain. Well come in the beginning
0:57
Speaker 1: of another hour of the Ben Mallers, Joe, we are
1:00
Speaker 1: in the air everywhere, me here and you there, as
1:07
Speaker 1: we have platter perfection, coast stuck coast border to border
1:12
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1:18
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1:26
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1:30
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2:16
Speaker 1: If you stay with us for the full hour you
2:18
Speaker 1: give us I don't know, ten minutes, fifteen minutes, twenty
2:21
Speaker 1: minutes later on we got the Riddle of the Day,
2:24
Speaker 1: the malor Riddle of the Day. We also have Mahler's
2:27
Speaker 1: Mountain of Money that'll be coming up a little bit
2:30
Speaker 1: later as well, but we're gonna start with this. It's
2:32
Speaker 1: the story that everyone's been talking about in Cottage football.
2:36
Speaker 1: Baton Rouge Louisiana and where I used to work with
2:40
Speaker 1: a guy named Chris Landry who worked here years ago,
2:43
Speaker 1: and he lives in Baton Rouge, the great Chris Landry.
2:46
Speaker 1: And we actually Fox Sports Radio the company brought in
2:49
Speaker 1: Dale Brown. You know Dale Brown is now. He was
2:53
Speaker 1: Shaquille O'Neal's college coach at LSU. Great man, very nice man.
2:57
Speaker 1: Dale Brown. He was our college basketball inside for a
3:00
Speaker 1: year or two and he came out and did some
3:03
Speaker 1: shows with Dale who lives I think he still lived.
3:05
Speaker 1: I don't know if he's still around, but he lived
3:06
Speaker 1: in Baton Rouge. So Lane Kiffin, yes that. Lane Kiffen
3:10
Speaker 1: was introduced as the LSU football coach, promising big things
3:16
Speaker 1: in the future. It wouldn't it be great if Lane
3:18
Speaker 1: Kiffin said, listen, I think if everything goes right here
3:21
Speaker 1: at Louisiana State, we can end up in the Weed
3:25
Speaker 1: Eater Bowl And would wouldn't that just be one? He
3:29
Speaker 1: didn't say that, So I know, if you saw any
3:31
Speaker 1: of this or not, it's always over the top. It's
3:34
Speaker 1: just great, just ridiculous. It's a religion, is what this
3:38
Speaker 1: is in that part of the country, and it's just great.
3:42
Speaker 1: So Lane Kiffin called the past six years at Ole
3:47
Speaker 1: miss He said, the best. There's a theme, the best
3:52
Speaker 1: six years of his life. So why would he leave?
3:57
Speaker 1: Then he explained why he felt compelled to to say
4:01
Speaker 1: bye bye to Oxford, Mississippi and to take over at
4:07
Speaker 1: LSU a football program. He said that he's always admired.
4:11
Speaker 1: He's always admired from AFAR. So that is a good
4:14
Speaker 1: jumping off point. Let us discuss the question what can
4:18
Speaker 1: ls you expect from the Lane Kiffen era as head
4:24
Speaker 1: coach in Baton Rouge. So I've got Cotton Candy, the
4:29
Speaker 1: four Seasons, and Homer Simpson, and we will combine all
4:35
Speaker 1: of these things together and we are gonna make the
4:39
Speaker 1: Baba Ganoosh. We're gonna make the Baba Ganoosh. All right, So,
4:42
Speaker 1: first of all, Lane Kiffin is the human funhouse of Mirrors,
4:49
Speaker 1: the guy who turns every single program into this warp
4:55
Speaker 1: distorted carnival version of reality. And as a talk show host,
5:01
Speaker 1: I think Lane Kiffin his teams don't actually win championships,
5:05
Speaker 1: but they're really good for my business. And I'm worried
5:08
Speaker 1: about having to do a daily talk show. And Lane
5:12
Speaker 1: Kiffin is great. If you have a daily talk show.
5:15
Speaker 1: So good for Lane Kivin. Now here's what we expect.
5:18
Speaker 1: We expect a traveling circus, okay, complete with trapeze artists,
5:22
Speaker 1: clown cars, pyrotechnics, everything. It's all part of Lane Kiffin's experience.
5:28
Speaker 1: Every single marketing gimmick Lane Kiffin will bring to the
5:31
Speaker 1: table right wrapped inside a publicity stunt. So he's literally
5:37
Speaker 1: gonna take a marketing gimmick. He's gonna wrap it in
5:40
Speaker 1: wrapping paper, put a bow on it, and then and
5:44
Speaker 1: match it there with the publicity sign. So Lane Kiffin
5:47
Speaker 1: doesn't just take jobs, okay, he creates soap operas. Soap operas.
5:54
Speaker 1: It has been so good. Now we don't talk tons
5:56
Speaker 1: of college football in the show because the NFL is
5:58
Speaker 1: more important and bigger and all that stuff. We pick
6:01
Speaker 1: our spots, and I would say other than Nick Sabin
6:05
Speaker 1: at al Alabama back in the day and also at
6:10
Speaker 1: LSU since I've been here and with the dolphin, like
6:13
Speaker 1: Lane Kiffin's like neck and neck, and since Nick Saban
6:18
Speaker 1: went away a couple of years back, lane Kiffin's adding
6:22
Speaker 1: Mallard monologues and all that stuff. But it's like everything
6:27
Speaker 1: he does when he leaves these jobs. When he exits
6:31
Speaker 1: stage left from these coaching jobs, it's like a Wikipedia novel,
6:35
Speaker 1: is what is? I don't know if you're old enough.
6:36
Speaker 1: Remember he coached the Oakland Raiders. He wasn't ready to
6:39
Speaker 1: be an NFL coach Lane Kiffin, and he proved it
6:41
Speaker 1: on a weekly basis. He also pissed off Al Davis,
6:44
Speaker 1: the old owner of the Raiders, and Al Davis decided
6:47
Speaker 1: not only to fire Lane Kiffin. This was one of
6:50
Speaker 1: the fun I remember coming in and this is like
6:53
Speaker 1: the early days of social media. It really wasn't a thing,
6:56
Speaker 1: but it was so great. I still remember doing the
6:59
Speaker 1: show when Lane Kiffin got whacked as the Raider coach
7:04
Speaker 1: and Al Davis a very frail old man at this point,
7:07
Speaker 1: and then near the end, you know, the pearly gates
7:09
Speaker 1: were saying, hey, we want you soon, and I was like,
7:11
Speaker 1: I don't know if I want to go. But he
7:13
Speaker 1: wasn't doing that great and so Al Davis fired Lane
7:16
Speaker 1: kiffen and used an overhead projector to show everyone how
7:21
Speaker 1: much Lane Kiffin sucked. He was so great. God is
7:24
Speaker 1: that good? Tennessee fans. After he left Tennessee after one
7:28
Speaker 1: year to go coach sc Tennessee fans I remember chased
7:33
Speaker 1: him out of Knoxville like he was a Frankenstein monster
7:37
Speaker 1: and were burning sofas. They were so upset there in Knoxville.
7:41
Speaker 1: I think Danny and Nashville was one of the people
7:43
Speaker 1: that went over to Knoxville to do that. USC literally
7:46
Speaker 1: canned Lane Kiffen on the tarmac at lax How great
7:51
Speaker 1: is that got fired by Al Davis on an overhead
7:57
Speaker 1: projector Tennessee. They ran him out of town with forks
8:00
Speaker 1: and torches. SC said, will whack you at lax And
8:05
Speaker 1: on the tarmac. And Nick Saban even got rid of
8:09
Speaker 1: Lane Kiffen a week before the national title game. And
8:14
Speaker 1: now you've got Old Miss fans who are chaining obscenities
8:19
Speaker 1: running him off the road in Oxford, Mississippi. The common
8:25
Speaker 1: denominator Lane Kiffin right, you know now Lane bails on
8:30
Speaker 1: Old Miss and before the playoff playoffs like a man
8:36
Speaker 1: escaping a burning building, except the buildings not on fire.
8:41
Speaker 1: And my guys so back. So LSU is gonna win
8:45
Speaker 1: a bunch of games in the regular season. Lane. If
8:49
Speaker 1: you look at what he does in the regular season,
8:51
Speaker 1: he's gonna stack w's w w W w W. It's
8:56
Speaker 1: gonna be like, I hop like hotcakes, pancakes at eye.
9:00
Speaker 1: I'm going to stack them up there. The offense will
9:02
Speaker 1: be fireworks. He'll get the hottest high school quarterback out
9:06
Speaker 1: of California and bring him to Louisiana, put him in there.
9:09
Speaker 1: The quotes will be solid gold, they'll be really good.
9:13
Speaker 1: The attention will be NonStop. So Lane Kiffin coaching LSU
9:17
Speaker 1: football is a kin to cotton candy football. It's sweet,
9:22
Speaker 1: it's fun, it's messy, and it doesn't really fill you up.
9:27
Speaker 1: That's Lane Kiffen. And you know the crash is coming.
9:31
Speaker 1: You know the crash is coming. It always happens. And
9:34
Speaker 1: that's the Lane train. That's the Lane Experience, high octane.
9:40
Speaker 1: That's like a train. It turns into a roller coaster
9:43
Speaker 1: and there's no breaks and you better buckle up for
9:46
Speaker 1: the loop d loop in Baton rouge. All right now. Secondly,
9:50
Speaker 1: keeping the theme going, so Lane Kiffin also walking into
9:55
Speaker 1: LSU and immediately declared that LSU is going to be
9:59
Speaker 1: the quote, the best program in all of college football.
10:04
Speaker 1: So Lane kiff the best program in all of college football.
10:06
Speaker 1: So the question, all right, Lane Kiffin says, he will
10:09
Speaker 1: restore LSU football to be the best program in college Truble,
10:15
Speaker 1: How does that one hit you? So on this one,
10:19
Speaker 1: it hits me like a lawyer, an advertising lawyer, reading
10:25
Speaker 1: the fine print on a late night infomercial and saying, okay, so,
10:30
Speaker 1: because the legal definition is he used the word best
10:35
Speaker 1: in advertising, So what does that mean? Okay, So the
10:39
Speaker 1: term best in advertising means just as good as all
10:42
Speaker 1: the rest in that category. So you can claim that
10:45
Speaker 1: you have the world's greatest hogi and you can do
10:49
Speaker 1: the hogy pokey and say, oh it's great and everything's fine.
10:52
Speaker 1: You're not going to get suited the moment though, that
10:55
Speaker 1: you say, hey, we are better than Nick Saban's ghost. Well,
11:00
Speaker 1: then Nick Saban's ghosts could sue you. And he said,
11:03
Speaker 1: well that's not that's not right. But how could a
11:06
Speaker 1: ghost sue? But the ghost could sue. It could happen.
11:10
Speaker 1: And you can claim that you're better than this that,
11:14
Speaker 1: and you gotta prove that. But if you say you're
11:16
Speaker 1: the best, you don't have to prove. That's how to
11:19
Speaker 1: get sued in the court of public opinion is to
11:22
Speaker 1: say you're better than Nick Saban or this guy or
11:25
Speaker 1: that guy. And you're not gonna do that now he's
11:27
Speaker 1: he's stepping in. Though you think about LSU football for
11:30
Speaker 1: Lane Kiffin, this is a carsal haul of the SEC.
11:36
Speaker 1: It just is right. All the creature comforts when you're
11:39
Speaker 1: in Baton rouge, all the perks for the players, all
11:42
Speaker 1: the bells, the whistles, the fog machines, the DJ boost,
11:46
Speaker 1: all that stuff. The players at LSU are pampered and coddled.
11:51
Speaker 1: They just are. And it's like they're checking in at
11:54
Speaker 1: the four seasons. They're getting paid their nil money, the
11:57
Speaker 1: star players. They have the concierge service as well, the
12:00
Speaker 1: nil concierge service. Everything you need. LSU's got money, money, money,
12:05
Speaker 1: they got the bankroll. They've got more money there than
12:08
Speaker 1: some small nations. Oh k, it's insane. They get all
12:12
Speaker 1: the facilities, everything you want, all the newest gadgets and
12:16
Speaker 1: gizmo's and all that good stuff. It's like a nasive
12:20
Speaker 1: training module. If you've seen some of the videos on
12:23
Speaker 1: the YouTube of the LSU football. And they've got a
12:27
Speaker 1: ravenous fan base just like they had an ole miss
12:29
Speaker 1: So that's more the same. It's a little bigger at
12:32
Speaker 1: LSU and they wake up angry. They wake up hungry, hungry, hungry.
12:37
Speaker 1: They're like hungry hippos, and some of them the size
12:39
Speaker 1: of hippos. And listen promises, though are l cheap out.
12:44
Speaker 1: They are l cheap out, And anyone can sell Wolf
12:47
Speaker 1: tickets in December right now, Lane's got no excuse. This
12:52
Speaker 1: is the problem, all right. People are not gonna wait
12:56
Speaker 1: around four years. You don't need to wait around four years.
12:59
Speaker 1: In mind, in college football, you can literally buy a
13:02
Speaker 1: team in one off season with the right nil payments.
13:07
Speaker 1: So you look around. You can't blame the fact that
13:10
Speaker 1: you don't have enough money to get into the portal.
13:12
Speaker 1: You got plenty of money. You can't blame the boosters.
13:16
Speaker 1: They're giving you about one hundred million dollars. You can't
13:18
Speaker 1: blame the schedule because you're supposed to have all the
13:21
Speaker 1: great players and all that stuff, and it's sisily. Lane
13:24
Speaker 1: Kiffin is now running a high end steakhouse and pretty
13:30
Speaker 1: much everyone else is flipping burgers now. Personally, I like
13:34
Speaker 1: a good cheeseburger, like a smash burger. I'm a fan
13:38
Speaker 1: a lot of you low. I want a Porterhouse steak
13:41
Speaker 1: and this, that and the other. Not about that, but
13:44
Speaker 1: If lane Kiffin, though, does not win a championship, as
13:47
Speaker 1: the kids say, a natty. If he doesn't win a championship,
13:50
Speaker 1: and I'm talking right in that first two years for
13:54
Speaker 1: Lane Kiffin, then this will go from a bold proclamation
13:58
Speaker 1: for the Lane Train to a late night comedy routine
14:03
Speaker 1: as they then chase him out of baton rouge and
14:06
Speaker 1: then he runs somewhere else to go back to sc
14:09
Speaker 1: or somewhere if this completely blows up. So that's how
14:13
Speaker 1: that's going to go. All right? Final thought to baseball, baseball?
14:20
Speaker 1: What are you doing talking about baseball? What is up
14:23
Speaker 1: with that? I don't understand all I mean I do?
14:26
Speaker 1: There we go, The computer here falls asleep every fifteen minutes.
14:30
Speaker 1: Really good equipment we have here at the company. So
14:34
Speaker 1: anyway to baseball. Free agent, free agent signing. Pitcher on
14:39
Speaker 1: the move. A Domino has fallen in Major League Baseball
14:44
Speaker 1: after spending the twenty twenty five season with the New
14:47
Speaker 1: York Yankees. Relief pitcher Devin Williams. Good old Devin Williams
14:53
Speaker 1: is looking to change locations, and he is changing uniforms,
14:58
Speaker 1: he's changing laundry. He has agreed to a deal in
15:01
Speaker 1: principle the news coming down on Monday. Did you hear
15:05
Speaker 1: you did not? Devin Williams at one point the top
15:08
Speaker 1: relief pitcher in all of baseball for the Milwaukee brew Crew.
15:11
Speaker 1: The Brewers. Well, Devin Williams is now taking his talents
15:15
Speaker 1: from the New York Yankees. Two revealed answers, revealed answers
15:21
Speaker 1: The New York Mets. Oh my god, he's going Crosstown.
15:25
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, Devin Williams. I know Uncle Moe is
15:30
Speaker 1: very excited about this. He's in Jersey, he's a Yankee fan.
15:33
Speaker 1: He's happy. In fact, Uncle Moe's offered to drive Devin
15:37
Speaker 1: Williams to over to Flushing if he needs none, need
15:40
Speaker 1: to take the subway or anything like that, or a
15:42
Speaker 1: car service, He'll drive him over to make sure he
15:44
Speaker 1: doesn't pitch for the Yankees anymore. So, three year contract
15:49
Speaker 1: for over fifty million dollars for Devin Williams. Question, what
15:54
Speaker 1: kind of a fit is closer Devin Williams with the
15:59
Speaker 1: New York Mets. All right, so this is like Homer
16:03
Speaker 1: Simpson's Friends Itchy and Scratchy, the Itchy and Scratchy Show,
16:09
Speaker 1: where yeah, he's a scratchy sweater is what he is.
16:15
Speaker 1: Looks good in the window, right, looks good in the window.
16:18
Speaker 1: But once you put the sweater on, you're itching and
16:22
Speaker 1: you're regretting every decision you ever made. That's essentially what
16:28
Speaker 1: Devin Williams is. It's itchy and scratchy. It's Homer Simpson's friends.
16:31
Speaker 1: It's a it's a it's a sweater. It's It's like
16:34
Speaker 1: the Mets decided we're gonna go out and pay full
16:36
Speaker 1: price for a clearance rack cardigan. Now you gotta think
16:40
Speaker 1: that Edwin Diez is gone. He is also a free agent.
16:45
Speaker 1: I for one, am very happy the Mets made this move.
16:48
Speaker 1: As a Dodger supporter, somewhat, I'm told I'm not a
16:51
Speaker 1: good Dodger fan because I pointed out Clayton Kershaw sucks
16:55
Speaker 1: in big games. But anyway, he's done, so I guess
16:57
Speaker 1: I'm allowed back into the Blue crew. I'm so happy.
17:00
Speaker 1: I was worried that Devin Williams is gonna sign with
17:02
Speaker 1: the Dodgers. I was like, oh God, please no, please, no,
17:06
Speaker 1: please no, please no, thank God, let him go to
17:08
Speaker 1: the mess. Devin Williams coming off a season where his
17:11
Speaker 1: big accomplishment with the Yankees was to convince them to
17:15
Speaker 1: change the facial hair policy. The Yankees were so horny
17:19
Speaker 1: to get this guy from the Brewers that they got him.
17:22
Speaker 1: And he wants to grow facial hair. Okay, we'll let
17:25
Speaker 1: that happen. Then he went out there and Handy Aria
17:28
Speaker 1: almost five. They should put the rule back in, say
17:30
Speaker 1: no facial hair, because this guy sucks the anxiety spiral
17:34
Speaker 1: in the Bronx. He didn't just struggle, he was the closer.
17:38
Speaker 1: He lost the job. I think he lost the job
17:40
Speaker 1: by like early May, got the job back, lost it again.
17:44
Speaker 1: He burst into flames like a cheap microwave. You got
17:47
Speaker 1: on Timu right, and it was just horrific, bad to
17:52
Speaker 1: the bone. And there's a thing. If you're old, you
17:54
Speaker 1: know what this is. But the Yankees for years, this
17:57
Speaker 1: goes back forty years. It's called ed Whitsen disease. The
18:00
Speaker 1: Yankee spent a lot of money on this great pitcher,
18:03
Speaker 1: Ed Witson, and he got to the Yankees and the
18:06
Speaker 1: only thing he was good at was fighting with Billy Martin,
18:08
Speaker 1: the Yankee manager. He couldn't handle pitching in New York.
18:12
Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, Devin Williams can't handle pitching in New York.
18:15
Speaker 1: The now Queens is not the Bronx. It's also not
18:17
Speaker 1: a day SBA pitching for the Mets, and so City
18:21
Speaker 1: Field is not some kind of meditation retreat compared to
18:24
Speaker 1: Yankee Stadium. You're still dealing with the back pages of
18:27
Speaker 1: the tabloids, the angry talk radio callers, the guy who's
18:32
Speaker 1: been drinking all day, who's a construction worker from Long
18:34
Speaker 1: Island who's complaining about your whip and how you ruined
18:38
Speaker 1: his parlay the other day. Now that the top scenario,
18:43
Speaker 1: the top scenario is that Williams is able to stabilize
18:47
Speaker 1: the ninth inning and look somewhat like the Milwaukee Monster
18:52
Speaker 1: that he was a couple of years ago. Problem, even
18:54
Speaker 1: if he does that during the regular season, you're still
18:58
Speaker 1: gonna need that in the playoffs. And this guy's got
19:00
Speaker 1: artist all over him, as in choke artist. He's a
19:03
Speaker 1: grenade with a loose pin in the Mets bullpen. And
19:08
Speaker 1: this is another thing where that the analytics say doesn't
19:11
Speaker 1: matter location, city, environment, They don't factor any of those
19:15
Speaker 1: things in. So the analytics say, this guy was really good,
19:19
Speaker 1: he had an off year, and pitchers bounce back, and
19:22
Speaker 1: you take out the human element but that's now the
19:25
Speaker 1: Mets problem as Devin Williams goes to the New York Metropolitans.
19:29
Speaker 1: The free agent signing that came down, and I'm still
19:32
Speaker 1: waiting for Kyle Schwarber to choose his new team. And
19:36
Speaker 1: there's a couple other big names. Not a great year
19:40
Speaker 1: for free agency, but there's a couple of big names
19:42
Speaker 1: out there. Also a lot of owners complaining crying poverty,
19:45
Speaker 1: which I always like because there's a labor stoppage that's
19:47
Speaker 1: on the horizon in Major League Baseball. Will take your
19:50
Speaker 1: calls eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox Time Now though,
19:53
Speaker 1: for the Mallor Riddle of the day. And here's the
19:56
Speaker 1: Mallard Riddle of the day. A New England Patriot fan
19:59
Speaker 1: w viral on Monday night when he brought a blank
20:04
Speaker 1: to the game against the Giants. Again, a Patriots fan
20:08
Speaker 1: went viral when he brought a blank to the Monday
20:12
Speaker 1: night football game. And fill in the blank. That is
20:16
Speaker 1: the Mallard riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get
20:20
Speaker 1: to it. We'll do it next.
20:21
Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maler
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Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
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Speaker 3: to ten pm Eastern on Fox Sports Radio, we are
20:42
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Speaker 4: Grown straw, want soupies, many budget goals, chime with games notes, biscreen, coo,
21:43
Speaker 4: biz creaming, Bill Miller and you.
21:49
Speaker 1: It is the Ben Mallor Show. Happy Holidays a classic
21:53
Speaker 1: Mallor holiday tune. Always play this around the holidays, set
22:00
Speaker 1: in the right mood. If you'd like to submit a
22:02
Speaker 1: malar holiday tune that we'll get a lot of airplay.
22:07
Speaker 1: There's a lot of airplay. No AI, it's gotta be
22:11
Speaker 1: you gotta be now. We don't want we want real
22:14
Speaker 1: human beings, real So send it in care of Benmahlor
22:19
Speaker 1: Show at gmail dot com. That's Benmallor Show at gmail
22:22
Speaker 1: dot com ature. You put song in the headline there
22:26
Speaker 1: and good luck back to it. We go this classic
22:33
Speaker 1: in tune. Time to pay off the malar riddle of
22:37
Speaker 1: the day, and then we will get to the wacky,
22:41
Speaker 1: wacky world of the calls. And later this hour we
22:45
Speaker 1: have Mallard's amount of money. But first the riddle of
22:47
Speaker 1: the day. A Patriot fan has gone viral when he
22:51
Speaker 1: brought a blank to the Monday night football game. All right,
22:56
Speaker 1: let's see you here. Andy in Lino Lakes, Minnesota says
22:59
Speaker 1: he brought his own play by play guy to the game.
23:01
Speaker 1: That would be odd pet dinosaur from Scrooge. He's in
23:04
Speaker 1: the younger demo in the Bay Area, but soon he'll
23:07
Speaker 1: be in the older demo. Lady Sideburn says a Barbie
23:10
Speaker 1: dreamhouse now, that would be impressive. Miguel on Fire says
23:14
Speaker 1: the Patriot fan went viral bringing an oil painting of
23:17
Speaker 1: weed man hippie Okay, green glittery gorilla with the Ganjo
23:25
Speaker 1: rolled up in a Garcia Vega from far out. Dave
23:30
Speaker 1: was very far out. He brought the Baba ganoosh from
23:34
Speaker 1: the tailgate. That's alf the alien old Piner courtesy Flesher
23:38
Speaker 1: said his wife. Well, she's a lovely lady in my
23:40
Speaker 1: apologies to her or it or whatever. That is his
23:44
Speaker 1: custom jersey from King Rory. Wow, quite the jersey. Who
23:48
Speaker 1: else a page then? A blow up doll he got
23:51
Speaker 1: off Timu from Milkman Mike in Colorado. A street taco
23:56
Speaker 1: vendor with a Mariachi band from Doug in South Korea. Uh,
24:00
Speaker 1: Paige down an emotional support donkey is the answer? A
24:04
Speaker 1: gallon of chatta from Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. A taser
24:09
Speaker 1: from Dante Joe the ghost owner, says Tom Brady. Pajamas
24:13
Speaker 1: with a flap in the back to use the squatty body.
24:17
Speaker 1: My lucky socks, says JT. But wing met. J T
24:21
Speaker 1: was at the Titans game over the over the weekend.
24:24
Speaker 1: He said, I didn't say it was very good football,
24:26
Speaker 1: but he was there, I think with his lady friend.
24:29
Speaker 1: Who else do we have? A page down? BP says
24:34
Speaker 1: the Patriot fan brought a Jordan Hudson blow up doll
24:37
Speaker 1: unless he didn't uh, some kind of inflatable from Johnny Q.
24:41
Speaker 1: A Polish sausage from David That's his answer? Who else
24:46
Speaker 1: we have? Paige? Dn us? Your bill said some nonsense
24:50
Speaker 1: a John Deere tractor from Philler up. Phil fan brought
24:54
Speaker 1: a live goat to the game from Fat Daddy, that's
24:57
Speaker 1: his answer. Attillo in Floridas says he brought he brought
25:01
Speaker 1: the gabba gool. It was clearly the gobba ghool that
25:04
Speaker 1: he brought, all right, Lorraine, No, it's the mallord riddle
25:08
Speaker 1: of the day. And again for those of you, a
25:11
Speaker 1: little late, bad job by you, you have been marked
25:14
Speaker 1: on the on the sheet as late. A Patriot fan
25:17
Speaker 1: went viral when he brought a blank to the Monday
25:21
Speaker 1: night football game with the Giants, a bildo. Wow, uh no,
25:25
Speaker 1: that is incorrect. Brought a live duck. Quack quack quack
25:30
Speaker 1: quack quack. What Yeah, guy brought a duck. There's got
25:35
Speaker 1: to be more of this. You're not allowed to just
25:37
Speaker 1: go into the stadium with a duck like that. This
25:39
Speaker 1: is an emotional support duck. I don't know, I need.
25:43
Speaker 1: There's gotta be more. If anybody knows how that guy
25:46
Speaker 1: got the duck in the stadium, or maybe the duck
25:48
Speaker 1: flew into the stadium and the guy grabbed it and
25:51
Speaker 1: made it his pet duck. How about that? It's conceivable
25:55
Speaker 1: that that happened possible indeed, and uh yeah, the guy
25:59
Speaker 1: was he's holding up that there's a live duck holding
26:02
Speaker 1: it up, and it didn't. It looked like I mean,
26:06
Speaker 1: it was fake. It seemed like a real It was
26:08
Speaker 1: moving around, breathing like a real duck. All let's go
26:10
Speaker 1: to the phones and we'll say hello to Jed who fled,
26:13
Speaker 1: who is a duck expert. And Jed's old enough to
26:16
Speaker 1: remember when Florida State used to get the top coaches
26:19
Speaker 1: in college football. Well, actually they never did because they
26:21
Speaker 1: always had Bobby Bowden. What's going on, Jed? Who fled? Jed? Jed? Jed,
26:27
Speaker 1: Jed Jed. Apparently Jed has fled, so he's left the building,
26:31
Speaker 1: which is unfortunate. Don't worry, he'll call back. Very upset.
26:34
Speaker 1: Let's go to Hawaii. We say helloha to Dorkoh in Hawaii.
26:39
Speaker 1: Aloha Dorko, Hi Fanas, it's me Dorkoh. Well, it's better
26:46
Speaker 1: luck next year for my mini Sodas fight Queen's football team.
26:53
Speaker 5: But I am more concerned about Big Glue. Well, he
26:59
Speaker 5: by next year reveal his last name, and because he
27:03
Speaker 5: is big, maybe it will be Big Lou Figno.
27:09
Speaker 1: Dorko, I have made I am so happy you've called
27:11
Speaker 1: the show. Dorko. I can't tell you how it really
27:16
Speaker 1: means a lot to me that you've chosen to call
27:18
Speaker 1: the show. And are you Are you actually in Hawaii
27:22
Speaker 1: or you just made that up?
27:23
Speaker 5: You know?
27:23
Speaker 1: Are you really in Hawaii?
27:25
Speaker 5: Yes, my friend comedian pianol Montre lives here.
27:29
Speaker 1: Oh he doesn't. You're just visiting? Or you live there?
27:33
Speaker 6: No?
27:33
Speaker 5: I live in the same house as he times.
27:36
Speaker 1: Oh you do? Okay, I got you? All right, that's
27:40
Speaker 1: very good. And what part of what island are.
27:42
Speaker 5: You on there?
27:43
Speaker 1: Dorco? Are you.
27:46
Speaker 5: With Hana LULUs?
27:48
Speaker 1: Yeah? Honolulu? Gotcha? Gotcha? All right? Go you should go
27:51
Speaker 1: hang ten on the North Shore.
27:53
Speaker 5: Go over to the North Idea, except for that's too
27:56
Speaker 5: scary for me. But Dannel goes there.
27:59
Speaker 1: Oh he does. I got you. How are you in
28:03
Speaker 1: Hawaii for when you're coming back to the mainland.
28:06
Speaker 5: I don't think they have our vacation. We will for
28:09
Speaker 5: Super Bowl stupid Bowl.
28:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got you?
28:13
Speaker 2: All right.
28:13
Speaker 1: Well listen fascinating as always, dark, Oh, amazing content. We're
28:16
Speaker 1: so happy you've called the show. Thank you, Thank you
28:19
Speaker 1: BG hright bye bye, Hello there, it goes Darko from Hawaii.
28:28
Speaker 1: That's about them something kind of I think there might
28:30
Speaker 1: be a comedy bit doing that working material. Possibly. Let's
28:33
Speaker 1: go to Spud. Spud is in La what's going on?
28:38
Speaker 1: Spud in La La Land?
28:40
Speaker 7: I gotta go old school with your bend. Here a
28:44
Speaker 7: couple of Lane Kiff analogies. First of all, is Lean
28:48
Speaker 7: Kiff and the Larry Brown of college football, actually football
28:54
Speaker 7: Larry of course at UCLA Kansas and a Tunnet NBA
28:58
Speaker 7: team including the Pistons couldn't stay in one place very long.
29:02
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the Clipper coach, the Clippers coach the Spurs, Yeah,
29:07
Speaker 1: is all over the place.
29:09
Speaker 7: Yeah yeah. Second second, uh, you know, I've heard the
29:14
Speaker 7: notion of Michigan and of course mission I'd love to
29:19
Speaker 7: see Ole Miss run the table like when Michigan said
29:24
Speaker 7: Bill Frieder get out of there and Steve Fisher led
29:27
Speaker 7: them to the promise.
29:27
Speaker 1: Now you're sure about that, because did you see Spud
29:30
Speaker 1: that If old Miss is able to run the table,
29:34
Speaker 1: that Lane Kiffin the bonus baby. Lane Kiffin is going
29:39
Speaker 1: to cash in that. He's going, He's going, He's gonna
29:42
Speaker 1: is a wild So if those didn't see it, Lane
29:45
Speaker 1: Kiffin spuds on the ball here. But Lane Kiffin is
29:48
Speaker 1: going to receive a playoff bonus from LSU if ole
29:52
Speaker 1: miss wins despite not actually coaching LSU and the college
29:56
Speaker 1: football playoff. That's how desperate l as You was to
30:00
Speaker 1: get Lane Kiffin that he'll be one. Imagine watching those games,
30:04
Speaker 1: It's like Lane Kiffen has a massive bet on every game,
30:07
Speaker 1: on every game.
30:09
Speaker 7: So you remember some of the players there, Ben who
30:12
Speaker 7: played for Michigan.
30:13
Speaker 1: Well, what era of Michigan?
30:16
Speaker 7: What do you when? They won nineteen eighty nine led
30:20
Speaker 7: by Glenn Rice.
30:21
Speaker 1: Oh the Michigan Oh yeah, basketball, sure, Glenn Rice, Yeah.
30:24
Speaker 7: Yeah, the the underrated Glenn Rice.
30:28
Speaker 1: Rumel Robbins, I remember, not a great NBA player, Remeal
30:31
Speaker 1: Robinson with a good college player, no, and he had quite.
30:34
Speaker 7: A checkered history after playing in the NBA. You can
30:38
Speaker 7: check that out. But you know who is on that team,
30:41
Speaker 7: Rob Paalinka.
30:44
Speaker 1: Oh skinny jeans. Yeah, you're talking about living living a
30:48
Speaker 1: charmed life, Rob Polink. They gotta get rid of And
30:50
Speaker 1: now that the Lakers are gonna get real owners, they
30:52
Speaker 1: got to go to Rob Polinka. I got it own.
30:53
Speaker 7: I think that's gonna happen.
30:55
Speaker 1: Yep, yeah, I agree. All right, well thank us, Bud.
30:58
Speaker 1: All right, there you care, great spud. There he goes,
31:01
Speaker 1: where he goes? I don't know. There you go. So
31:03
Speaker 1: l Lane Kiffin.
31:06
Speaker 2: The uh.
31:07
Speaker 1: By the way, we need contestants if you would like to.
31:08
Speaker 1: But we have a game show which is moments away,
31:11
Speaker 1: and if we you know, we just got a bunch
31:13
Speaker 1: of calls. But if you want to play the game,
31:15
Speaker 1: it's Mallar's Mountain of Money eight seven seven. I'll give
31:18
Speaker 1: you the inside number eight seven seven nine nine six
31:23
Speaker 1: six three six line. That's the inside number. Get in
31:26
Speaker 1: right now, play Maller's amount of Money eight seven seven
31:28
Speaker 1: nine to nine six six three six'. Nine so this
31:32
Speaker 1: bonus thing With Lane kiffen is next. Level it's just absolutely.
31:39
Speaker 1: Outstanding and so if The rebels are in the final
31:44
Speaker 1: bracket of the, Committee Lane kiffin was he was going
31:48
Speaker 1: to get one hundred and fifty thousand dollars for it
31:49
Speaker 1: From Old miss just for playing a game in the first.
31:53
Speaker 1: Round but now lsu is going to pay all this bonus,
31:56
Speaker 1: money and like we're talking hundreds of thousands of the
32:01
Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of. DOLLARS i think seven hundred and
32:04
Speaker 1: fifty thousand If Old miss reaches the national title. Game
32:08
Speaker 1: if Old miss actually, wins they're. Not but if they
32:10
Speaker 1: do win the title, Game Lane kiffin was going to
32:13
Speaker 1: receive one million, dollars and AS i understand, it he's
32:15
Speaker 1: still gonna get this bonus money from FROM. Lsu so
32:21
Speaker 1: here you, go all, right it is The Ben Mahlor.
32:24
Speaker 1: Show as we press on, here we've got coming up
32:27
Speaker 1: here in a, Moment mallards mountain of. Money you want
32:31
Speaker 1: to set this, Up coop? Quickly or should we just
32:33
Speaker 1: we'll set it? Up, okay we don't need to play the.
32:35
Speaker 1: Imaging let's welcome in our. Contestants who do we have.
32:38
Speaker 1: Here we've Got rob In maine who called up right. Away, Rob, hello.
32:42
Speaker 1: Welcome what's happening waiting on a big old snowstorm up here?
32:46
Speaker 1: Today Benny, BLACK i wanted it to happen last night
32:51
Speaker 1: BECAUSE i was hoping to watch a snow. GAME i
32:52
Speaker 1: didn't get the snow. Game i'm bummed out by.
32:54
Speaker 5: That that was Gonna we'll have to have a few
32:56
Speaker 5: in the.
32:57
Speaker 7: Playoffs don't.
32:57
Speaker 1: Worry oh look at, you you're. BACK i thought you
32:59
Speaker 1: were Text, no you're. Done with. That you're back on
33:01
Speaker 1: what they?
33:02
Speaker 2: Fight? BILL i jumped back, On.
33:03
Speaker 1: BABY i got? You all, Right, rob who do you
33:05
Speaker 1: want to partner up?
33:06
Speaker 7: With? Rob bronco's?
33:08
Speaker 4: Baby?
33:09
Speaker 1: Okay oh? God hold? On and we Have mike In.
33:13
Speaker 1: Boston what's going? On? Mike welcome? Mikey what's?
33:16
Speaker 2: Up?
33:17
Speaker 7: Hey what's? Up? Man what's going?
33:18
Speaker 1: On what's going? On what are you? Doing you're driving?
33:20
Speaker 1: Around you're working right? Now where are? You what are
33:21
Speaker 1: you doing on my way to?
33:23
Speaker 7: Work oh?
33:24
Speaker 1: God all? Right, well who do you want to partner up? With?
33:27
Speaker 8: Yeah you?
33:28
Speaker 1: Okay all? Right, Sorry, lorena you're not. Popular he's the
33:32
Speaker 1: only Time larana is not? Popular is this game right?
33:34
Speaker 1: Here all?
33:34
Speaker 8: Right go?
33:34
Speaker 1: Ahead, cool all, right.
33:35
Speaker 9: Gentlemen this Is Malor's mount Of, money The Bloody allen.
33:37
Speaker 9: Edition he turned ninety years old On. Sunday that seems
33:41
Speaker 9: old to.
33:41
Speaker 1: Me. Yes.
33:42
Speaker 9: Uh the categories are take The money and run midnight In,
33:46
Speaker 9: paris husbands and wives and small time? Crooks and Uh
33:52
Speaker 9: rob was on, First robbish, category would you.
33:54
Speaker 5: Like take the money and? Run all?
33:57
Speaker 1: Right and Then, mike how about you small time? Crooks
34:01
Speaker 1: small time? Crooks all? Right, everyone hold, on do not
34:03
Speaker 1: hang up we will Have Malor's mountain Of money in its.
34:08
Speaker 1: Entirety we'll get to. That we will do it.
34:10
Speaker 2: Next be sure to catch live editions Of The Ben
34:13
Speaker 2: Mallor show weekdays at two Am eastern eleven Pm.
34:16
Speaker 6: PACIFIC i don't need presents underneath The christmas tree so,
34:24
Speaker 6: bright no gaming, consoles. TVs i don't even need a.
34:28
Speaker 6: BIKE i don't need a brand new.
34:31
Speaker 2: Phone ALL i needs radio.
34:33
Speaker 1: So THAT i can listen to The Ban Mallor. Show
34:38
Speaker 1: ALL i need is the Band malor, Show Bill miller
34:42
Speaker 1: And you and is a man swear show talking over a.
34:45
Speaker 1: Vocal Happy. HOLIDAYS a reminder to support the. Show pick
34:49
Speaker 1: that down a little bit the YouTube. Channel we leave
34:52
Speaker 1: by two, Channels Ben Malor show On YouTube And Benny
34:56
Speaker 1: vspenny For benny versus The. Penny check out those, channels,
35:00
Speaker 1: follow subscribe to the, channels support the, show comment on the,
35:03
Speaker 1: videos and we thank, You we thank, you we thank.
35:07
Speaker 8: You we think we Now Mailor's mountain Of. Money do
35:14
Speaker 8: you have what it takes to get to the. Top probably.
35:18
Speaker 1: Not let's do it right. Now and this, show by the,
35:21
Speaker 1: way sponsored By Draft kings sportsbook and official sports betting
35:25
Speaker 1: partner of THE nfl AND nba right, now use the
35:28
Speaker 1: promo Code mallor that's M a l E r to
35:31
Speaker 1: claim your special offer At Draft. Kings, again that's promo Code.
35:34
Speaker 1: Malor At, DraftKings the crown is. Yours we've Got mike
35:38
Speaker 1: In boston who is teamed up with. Me rob In
35:41
Speaker 1: maine waiting for the snow teamed up With. Coop rob
35:44
Speaker 1: was on the air, First so you will go With
35:47
Speaker 1: coop The Woody allen Edition. Cooplehop, yes that is, correct Right.
35:52
Speaker 9: Rob we have take the money and. Run these athletes
35:56
Speaker 9: didn't live up to their mega. Contracts we need the
35:59
Speaker 9: first and last. Name forty five seconds on the. Clock
36:01
Speaker 9: are you, Ready, Rob? Rob, yes, okay all, right forty
36:08
Speaker 9: five seconds let's, begin all. Right he's the quarterback for
36:11
Speaker 9: The Cleveland browns who loved. Massages. Yes, uh this guy
36:17
Speaker 9: was nicknamed The machine in. Baseball he was with The
36:20
Speaker 9: angels for like ten years and sucked for most of. Them, Albert,
36:24
Speaker 9: yes this guy was on The Orlando magic and The Detroit.
36:28
Speaker 9: Pistons his dad was in THE. Nfl, yes this guy
36:33
Speaker 9: was a quarterback for The Denver broncos and The Chicago.
36:36
Speaker 9: Bears his nickname Was Smoking, yes the Rain man from
36:41
Speaker 9: The Seattle. SuperSonics, yes this guy was Another angel, player
36:46
Speaker 9: a third baseman from The Washington.
36:48
Speaker 1: Nationals, yes let's.
36:50
Speaker 2: Go and then a.
36:51
Speaker 9: Quarterback he was on The, broncos but it was The
36:53
Speaker 9: texans who gave him a big. Contract oh didn't get
36:55
Speaker 9: it In, No, yeah, yeah we're.
37:00
Speaker 1: Up now that's shaw him has Done that was pathetic
37:02
Speaker 1: By coop And. Rob not good at. All, Well sean
37:05
Speaker 1: has done. Here all, Right, mike here we. Go you
37:08
Speaker 1: picked small time. Crooks these athletes have all been caught. Stealing,
37:12
Speaker 1: okay you, ready let's do all, Right, mike forty five.
37:15
Speaker 1: Seconds we need the first and last. Name. Runaway this
37:17
Speaker 1: guy played quarterback In Florida. State he loved crab. Legs
37:20
Speaker 1: he's now in THE nfl with The. Yes he was
37:24
Speaker 1: known as The juice with The Buffalo. Bills he also Liked.
37:27
Speaker 1: Yes currently the coach of The New England. Patriots, yes
37:33
Speaker 1: known As nails for the eighty Six, mets also played
37:35
Speaker 1: for The. Phillies outfielder had a lot of.
37:39
Speaker 5: Yes.
37:39
Speaker 1: Uh he was a quarterback for The, chargers drafted After Peyton,
37:43
Speaker 1: manning one of the great busts IN nfl draft Teds,
37:46
Speaker 1: No no before. That, yes he played basketball At Notre.
37:53
Speaker 1: Dame he's currently a colleague of mine here At Fox Sports.
37:56
Speaker 1: Radio he's a college basketball coach In, Wisconsin Green. Bay,
38:01
Speaker 1: yeah there you, Go. Stole we didn't get point in all, right.
38:07
Speaker 5: Crazy match so?
38:08
Speaker 9: Far all?
38:09
Speaker 5: Right?
38:09
Speaker 9: Rob do you want midnight In paris or husbands and wives?
38:13
Speaker 2: Midnight all?
38:14
Speaker 1: Right?
38:15
Speaker 9: Uh these athletes all have at least Some french. Heritage
38:20
Speaker 9: forty five seconds on the. Clock let's. Begin current quarterback
38:24
Speaker 9: for The, Lions Jared, yes this guy is the best
38:28
Speaker 9: player in THE nba right. Now huge guy on The. Spurs,
38:33
Speaker 9: yes this guy was nicknamed The Stifled. Tower he was
38:36
Speaker 9: a center on The jazz and The. Timberwolves, yes this
38:41
Speaker 9: guy was a point guard on The. Spurs he was
38:43
Speaker 9: married to an. Actress, yes this guy was on The Florida,
38:47
Speaker 9: gators then The. Bulls his dad was a tennis. Player let's.
38:51
Speaker 9: Go this guy was a closer for The dodgers eighty
38:53
Speaker 9: eight saves in a row or something like.
38:54
Speaker 3: That.
38:56
Speaker 9: Eric, yes this guy was a catcher for The dodgers
38:59
Speaker 9: and The. Yankees he was From, canada Though French. Canadian
39:05
Speaker 9: when he hit a home money was blank with muscle so.
39:09
Speaker 1: Tough Russell. Martin all, right, well so let's show Him
39:16
Speaker 1: ma's done here. Again we got an, Opportunity. Mike the
39:19
Speaker 1: opportunity is ours close. One all, right here we go
39:22
Speaker 1: get put forty five. Seconds the category where we have
39:24
Speaker 1: husbands and wives is that. Break these athletes are all
39:27
Speaker 1: married to another. Athlete, okay you, Understand. Mike all, right
39:31
Speaker 1: we'll put forty five seconds on the. Clock we need
39:34
Speaker 1: the first and last. Name good, Luck we're on our
39:36
Speaker 1: way and. Go currently at the quarterback of The Kansas City. Chiefs,
39:42
Speaker 1: yes he plays. Football, actually he's no longer a football
39:45
Speaker 1: players ON. Cbs his brother plays for The Pittsburgh steelers. Defense,
39:49
Speaker 1: yes tight end for the believers with The Washington. Commanders
39:53
Speaker 1: he was a star with The Philadelphia. Eagles he's one
39:55
Speaker 1: of The, yes he a quarterback for notre. Name he's
39:59
Speaker 1: a talk show host At Fox Sports. Radio Golden domer
40:02
Speaker 1: played with The cleveland brown sucked in THE, nfl though
40:04
Speaker 1: he's On. Fox. Yes, uh a female. GYMNAST i was
40:08
Speaker 1: in a documentary ripping. Her she's married to A Chicago
40:11
Speaker 1: bears tight.
40:11
Speaker 8: End.
40:12
Speaker 1: Uh now a short stop for The Red sox back
40:17
Speaker 1: when they they traded him when he won the. World,
40:19
Speaker 1: yes a white guy for the he played for the
40:21
Speaker 1: nixt first son of a billionaire out Of.
40:30
Speaker 9: Uh.
40:31
Speaker 1: David we were trying to Get david And Simone. Biles Uh, Simone, yeah,
40:37
Speaker 1: yeah that's all. Right WELL i Ripped Simone biles and
40:40
Speaker 1: it made it like A netflix. DOCUMENTARY i had all
40:42
Speaker 1: these middle aged women yelling at. Me, yeah they were
40:46
Speaker 1: very upset with my. TAKE i did a monologue About
40:49
Speaker 1: Simone biles getting, well yeah she got like the, twisties
40:53
Speaker 1: AND i was goofing on her and then, uh they
40:56
Speaker 1: put it in this documentary and they. Ripped they all
40:58
Speaker 1: these middle aged women were very upset with, Anyway, wilson
41:01
Speaker 1: it was actually a rare good. Game we don't normally get.
41:04
Speaker 3: That.
41:04
Speaker 1: Rob you, won so you get a golden. Ticket, There,
41:06
Speaker 1: Rob i've got a Golden. Chickads we didn't Get David
41:13
Speaker 1: lee and what was, it Brock oswather was at the last,
41:18
Speaker 1: Category Russell. Martin Russell. Martin so there you. Go all, Right,
41:21
Speaker 1: well thank you. Gentlemen good. Job there's a mic And
41:23
Speaker 1: rob another edition Of Mala's. Money if if you like the,
41:27
Speaker 1: game we play it every week at about this. Time
41:30
Speaker 1: if you don't like the, game we only play it
41:32
Speaker 1: once a, Week so who the hell? CARES i, mean
41:33
Speaker 1: lighting Up francis, right we want to play once a.
41:35
Speaker 1: Week what's a big? Deal who cares about? That once a?
41:37
Speaker 1: Week so that was one of the better games we've.
41:39
Speaker 1: HAD i THINK i would say that's like a top
41:41
Speaker 1: three game we've had this. Year sweat that was. Solid good,
41:45
Speaker 1: job good job, boys