Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What type of person does a narcissist go after the most?
Transcript
- 0:00What type of person do narcissist go after?
- 0:04That's what we're talking about today, y'all.
- 0:05I feel like a lot of people ask me this question.
- 0:07A lot of people get tangled up in what narcissist are seeking.
- 0:11What narcissist or after? Do they fit the do they fit the
- 0:15archetype of a narcissist right? Are they part of the narcissist
- 0:19prey, so to speak? That's what we're talking about
- 0:22today, y'all. If you're new here, my name is
- 0:23Lee Hammock. I'm a diagnosed narcissist
- 0:25myself and welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:45Yes, y'all, let's get the power back of the the intro is back.
- 0:49Let's go. My energy is super high, y'all.
- 0:52But seriously, narcissistic people, let's go.
- 0:55Let's look, let's let's go ahead and bury the lead.
- 0:58They go. They go after yes men or yes
- 1:01women, yes people. They absolutely do.
- 1:04I feel like this should not be groundbreaking to most people,
- 1:07right? This should not be
- 1:09groundbreaking. It should, it should not like
- 1:12narcissists want to be surrounded by people that do not
- 1:16challenge them, by people that do not put up a fight, by people
- 1:21that are always giving them what they want.
- 1:24Now this is the catch 22 about that.
- 1:27Like if you are I I know people just like well, they they want
- 1:31of course, lady, they want a doormat.
- 1:33This is the conundrum right here.
- 1:35If you give them everything that they want, if you don't put up a
- 1:39fight, if you never fuss, fight, argue, whatever, right, they
- 1:42become bored with you and they will leave your ass.
- 1:46I know right there. They got people right there like
- 1:48wait, what? They become bored and late.
- 1:51Yes, they won't. Yes men, but they also want
- 1:56somebody to just keep things spicy.
- 1:58They don't mind the fight every once in a while.
- 2:00Now, some narcissists do right now, No2 narcissists are the
- 2:02same like kind of like kind of like little narcissistic
- 2:04fingerprints. No2 narcissists are the same,
- 2:07right? But they absolutely go after yes
- 2:11men and I feel like that's not going to be ground breaking to a
- 2:13lot of people because y'all understand narcissists, you've
- 2:16dealt with them your entire life, you've had relationships
- 2:18with them and whatnot. So this doesn't, this won't
- 2:20surprise you at all. But yeah, yes men are who
- 2:24narcissists seek. I want a yes man because if I
- 2:28get a yes man that benefits me so damn much, I'm going to just
- 2:32keep it high and ready with you. Like if you are a yes man for
- 2:35me, like right if you are, if you give me everything that I
- 2:40want, I can deal with you. I'll keep you around.
- 2:44But if you but it becomes boring after a while if there's no
- 2:48fussing, fighting, no, like there's nothing like if you just
- 2:52give me everything I want, if you roll over too much, if I
- 2:55walked over you too much, hell no.
- 2:59Now I don't want to deal with you because it's boring now.
- 3:02Now I might go out there looking for some new supply.
- 3:05So yes, a lot of narcissists do want these yes men, but they
- 3:09don't want them to the point where it's going to make their
- 3:11lives harder. You see what I'm saying?
- 3:13I want a yes man. I want a person that's going to
- 3:15give me everything that I want, give me everything that I seek.
- 3:18But I don't want somebody that's going to make me fight over and
- 3:21over again with them. I don't want somebody that's
- 3:23going to put up a consistent fight with me.
- 3:25Hell no. I don't want to fuss and fight
- 3:26all the time. I want a little pushback every
- 3:28once in awhile. A little pushback so we can have
- 3:31that, that those make those make up cheek clapping sessions will
- 3:34be amazing. You know what I mean?
- 3:37I want that. I want to make up.
- 3:39Let's fuss in the fight so we can make up, right?
- 3:41I want that sometimes. But you get the narcissist, the
- 3:44narcissistic person that does call crave that chaos.
- 3:49They want the chaos. They want the chaotic nature of
- 3:52these relationships. They love it, they crave it,
- 3:55they want every bit and piece of it and whatnot because it makes
- 3:58them, it kind of makes me feel whole.
- 4:00Like when things are getting bought.
- 4:01This is why even when you're getting giving a narcissist what
- 4:04they want, and I know a lot of y'all can can agree with this,
- 4:07even when you're giving it what they want.
- 4:09This is why sometimes they'll still start an argument out of
- 4:11nowhere over nothing. Y'all won't be chilling, right?
- 4:17You'll be chilling doing your thing.
- 4:19Then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, they lose their damn
- 4:22mind and just start an argument over the smallest thing, over
- 4:27the smallest thing you like. What the hell is going on here?
- 4:32You ain't done nothing. You haven't done anything.
- 4:34It's just, it gets to the point where it's kind of, it can be
- 4:36kind of crazy, right? It gets to that space where it
- 4:39literally can be crazy as hell to even deal with and they will
- 4:42make you lose your mind. It real.
- 4:46It real it will that'll be ILL will.
- 4:50It will make you lose your mind. It'll make you it sometimes it
- 4:54can take you to a very dark place.
- 4:56It absolutely can't. It can take you to a place that
- 4:59makes you just makes you go crazy and you're dealing with
- 5:02this person and they're telling you what they want.
- 5:04Just shut up. Just if you, things will be
- 5:06things will be perfectly fine if you just keep your damn mouth
- 5:09shut. If you just learn how to be
- 5:11quiet and shut the hell up, We'd be fine if you don't argue and
- 5:15like if you just be quiet, if you don't talk too much to me,
- 5:18things will be amazing. We'd be amazed.
- 5:20We'd be a power couple, but you won't shut the hell up.
- 5:24So you start look, so you guess what?
- 5:25You start shutting the hell up. You like, Oh, come and give me
- 5:27what they want. And then also out of nowhere,
- 5:31they tell you you're too quiet. You don't talk anymore.
- 5:33You're boring. Why don't you talk anymore?
- 5:35Why you just so quiet all the time now?
- 5:37Damn. What's wrong with you?
- 5:39Damn. Why?
- 5:41I can't. Yeah.
- 5:42I want a partner, not a puppet. If I wanted a blow up doll, I'll
- 5:46go buy one. They don't talk back.
- 5:49I'll go buy one and look just like you.
- 5:51Say something to me. Talk to me.
- 5:54You see how confusing it is? You see you, you see how
- 5:59absolutely, utterly, mind blowingly mind blowing confusing
- 6:03that they can be to deal with somebody who keeps messing with
- 6:06you like that, to deal with somebody that doesn't have like
- 6:08that doesn't have the word without to just to just be OK
- 6:11and cool with you. That's crazy.
- 6:13Yeah, y'all know that's crazy as hell to deal with.
- 6:15Now. I hate, I hate the fact that
- 6:17some of y'all got to deal with people like this.
- 6:18Somebody have to some of y'all have to deal with people who
- 6:20have this type of mentality whose minds work this way,
- 6:24right? I hate the fact that so many of
- 6:26y'all have to deal with this type of stuff being and that's
- 6:28why I do what I do. That's literally why I go hard
- 6:31and doing what I do because I know that I want people like you
- 6:35to escape these types of relationship dynamics.
- 6:37Because yes, narcissists want yes men.
- 6:40But then they want people who talk who who fight back
- 6:42sometimes. Then they want people who are
- 6:47100% agreeable. Then they want people like they
- 6:49they don't just want yes men in relationships.
- 6:52They want yes men in friendships.
- 6:54They want yes men and Co workers.
- 6:56They want yes men in for their kids.
- 6:58They don't want pushback in any part of their like a lot of
- 7:01narcissists want their lives on easy mode.
- 7:04They absolutely want their entire life to be on easy mode.
- 7:08100%. They absolutely want their life
- 7:11to be on easy mode. It absolutely just they really,
- 7:14really do. And I hate the fact that so many
- 7:16people have to deal with this type of person right, because
- 7:19they will mess with you. They will do a it can do a
- 7:21number on your brain. It would do a number on your
- 7:24mind and it would absolutely make you go crazy.
- 7:27Why would why wouldn't this make you go crazy?
- 7:30Why wouldn't this make you why wouldn't this type of stuff make
- 7:33you lose your mind or make you feel confused sometimes?
- 7:35Why wouldn't this type of stuff make you feel like you don't
- 7:37know what to do? Why wouldn't this stuff?
- 7:39Why wouldn't this type of relationship make you feel like
- 7:41you don't have a voice? Why wouldn't this type of
- 7:43relationship make you feel like you or less worthy?
- 7:46I get so yeah, I do so many one on ones or resume with people.
- 7:49They're telling me this. They're like, well, Lee, I just
- 7:50feel less worthy. I don't feel like I'm worth
- 7:52anything. I feel like I feel like what's
- 7:53the point of going forward? What's the point of going
- 7:55forward? So it take you to a dark place,
- 7:57right? What's the point of view going
- 7:59forward if I can't trust this person?
- 8:01This person doesn't trust me. They told me they can't trust me
- 8:03anymore. They told me I'm boring.
- 8:05They told me I'm this. I'm that.
- 8:06Like, ever since we had kids, they hate me.
- 8:09I'm giving too much attention to the kids.
- 8:11They they want somebody who they said they would rather have
- 8:13somebody who puts them at the central focus of their life.
- 8:17That's what they want now. They don't want me anymore as
- 8:19much as they used to. I'm super sad at it nowadays.
- 8:22I'm I'm hurt. I'm this.
- 8:23I'm that. Yeah.
- 8:24Yeah. I'm telling you, I've talked to
- 8:26so many people. They'd have dealt with this type
- 8:29of person. I really, truly have.
- 8:31I've talked to so many people out there that have dealt with
- 8:34this narcissistic person that keeps the back and forth going
- 8:37that does this kind of crazy, chaotic nature in these
- 8:41relationships. They do this type of stuff all
- 8:43the damn time. And it could be draining to be
- 8:47with this person. It could be a drain.
- 8:49It could be a drain on your mental health, physical health,
- 8:51mental well-being. Every single look, every single
- 8:53part of you is going to struggle in a relationship with a
- 8:57narcissist. You can be a yes man, yes woman,
- 9:00yes person, whatever. You can do every single thing
- 9:03that this person wants. But one thing you are going to
- 9:05have to realize is that it won't mean anything at the end of the
- 9:10day. It will literally never be
- 9:13enough when it comes to a narcissist.
- 9:15They want a yes man, but then they want somebody that fights
- 9:17back. They want a yes man, but then
- 9:18they want somebody who shuts the hell up.
- 9:20They want a yes man, but then they want somebody who lets them
- 9:23cheat or doesn't bring things up.
- 9:24They want a yes man, but then they are.
- 9:27They want a yes man, but then they're insecure, right?
- 9:30They want somebody who stays in the house, but then they'll call
- 9:32you boring, right? They want somebody to shut the
- 9:34hell up and then they call you silent or weird or mute or
- 9:37stupid, right? They don't like in conclusion,
- 9:41narcissists don't really know what they want because I know a
- 9:45lot of y'all have experiences as well.
- 9:47When the narcissist y'all break up and they find a new supply
- 9:50and the new supply is nothing like you.
- 9:53Like not just I'm I'm not talking about just physical.
- 9:55They can be your physical copy. They can look just like you
- 9:57right, but they don't act like you like you might know this
- 10:01person like them. We have opposite personalities.
- 10:04How the hell are they together? Because they switched up what
- 10:06they what they think they like. Narcissists like control.
- 10:12They like domination. They like obedience.
- 10:16But they also like chaos. They love the chaotic nature of
- 10:20these relationships. The chaos is what drives a lot
- 10:23of people to that narcissist. They chaos.
- 10:25Chaos is what keeps a lot of people there.
- 10:27The chaos it was makes it a lot. It makes it hard for a lot of
- 10:30people to just even leave this narcissistic relationship.
- 10:34That chaos is crazy out. The chaos is crazy crazy crazy.
- 10:39Anyways y'all thank you for making it this far.
- 10:42Again if you watched my last video, I'm changing things up.
- 10:44Send your story into mental. Send your story in to
- 10:48mentalillness85@gmail.com. I'm do.
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- 11:00Y'all hit the subscribe button, I'm out.
- 11:02Peace.