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Taking Out The Trash · A Time to Sharpen

• 0:09
  Is there anything worse than a dull blade?
• 0:12
  Yeah, well, lots of things, I guess.
• 0:14
  Poverty, war, spending dozens of hours on your garden, getting it
• 0:20
  growing and looking beautiful, only to have a freak hailstorm
• 0:25
  come and RIP it all apart. Seriously though, the dull blade
• 0:31
  is bad. It's unusable.
• 0:34
  In fact, it's downright dangerous.
• 0:37
  Knives need sharpening. From Whetstone Boys Ranch in
• 0:40
  Mountain View, MO comes a Time to Sharpen, a bi weekly podcast
• 0:45
  that examines how we can all be better versions of ourselves.
• 0:49
  Better counselors, better teachers, better parents, better
• 0:53
  people. I grew up in a household with
• 1:01
  six kids. Needless to say, things could
• 1:04
  get pretty messy, and so every once in a while my dad would
• 1:08
  rally the troops and proclaim that it was time for clean
• 1:11
  machine. Contrary to what you might
• 1:14
  think, these were joyous times. We would run around and pick
• 1:17
  stuff up as fast as we possibly could.
• 1:20
  It was kind of genius because he took something that most kids
• 1:23
  hate and turned it into a positive core memory.
• 1:27
  I can't say that we have the same magic here at Whetstone
• 1:30
  when it comes to cleaning and other chores, but we do make it
• 1:32
  a priority. Chores teach all manner of
• 1:35
  lessons about honesty, responsibility, and kindness
• 1:38
  towards others. Join us this week on A Time to
• 1:41
  Sharpen as we discuss the ways in which daily chores are built
• 1:44
  into the process of sharpening the character of young men.
• 1:56
  Welcome back to A Time to Sharpen.
• 1:57
  This is Axel Limita. I'm sitting across from Brandon
• 2:00
  Maxwell. Hello, Axel.
• 2:03
  Hello. How's it going?
• 2:04
  It's going all right. Big day in Willow Springs, Big
• 2:07
  day in Missouri. Oh man.
• 2:10
  We have a final three contestant on American Idol.
• 2:15
  Yes, Hannah Harper. Officially Hannah Harper Day.
• 2:18
  Most of our listeners, I think, are probably familiar because a
• 2:24
  lot of them are local. And of course, American Idol is
• 2:27
  a very popular show. But yeah, they're having a
• 2:29
  parade in downtown Willow, and she's going to perform at 7:00
• 2:33
  at the football field. Yeah.
• 2:34
  So I'm going to get out there, have my camera on me and just
• 2:37
  people watch. Yeah, that'll be fun.
• 2:39
  It's not. I mean they're who knows, they
• 2:41
  always have speculations of numbers, but ten 15,000 people
• 2:45
  in the town of about two could be some, right?
• 2:48
  And one street that goes. Yeah, one way they can hold.
• 2:51
  Maybe 2000 Max right in their cars.
• 2:55
  So it's going to be. So the people watching, it's
• 2:58
  going to be very entertaining. Yeah.
• 3:00
  On the good news of that too, is you, if you get there in time,
• 3:04
  big pop is kettle corn out of Willow.
• 3:06
  They're going to be giving away the kettle corn free and food
• 3:09
  trucks, they're giving away free food and drinks until it runs
• 3:13
  out. Yeah.
• 3:14
  So that's a good deal. I think it.
• 3:16
  Has to be free. Gabe was telling me, like, they
• 3:19
  don't. The American Idol team won't let
• 3:21
  people sell stuff, right? It's just because it's a brand
• 3:24
  and they're kind of, you know, taking from their slice of the
• 3:28
  pie or something like that. So they allow people, vendors to
• 3:31
  be there, but they have to give it all for free.
• 3:33
  So like benefit which is good. And idol.
• 3:35
  Yeah, yeah, it's a win, win, win.
• 3:37
  Papa's is great. They they help us out with our
• 3:40
  concert, 4th of July concert and they have awesome kettle corn.
• 3:45
  They have a lot of different flavors and one of their newer,
• 3:47
  newer ones last year was a like a jalapeno chair, which was that
• 3:52
  speaks my language. Nice, nice.
• 3:55
  Well, yeah, you have to get there. 10,000 people.
• 3:57
  That's going to go fast. Go quick.
• 3:59
  Yeah. Or there's going to be like a
• 4:01
  huge line, like 1000 people long.
• 4:03
  Yeah, I'm not going to wait in that line.
• 4:06
  No. So yeah, it'll be interesting.
• 4:07
  It's not every day that a local person gets to the national
• 4:11
  stage like that. It's a pretty incredible story.
• 4:13
  And she's grounded in her faith, it seems like, and rooted
• 4:17
  family. So it's good to see.
• 4:18
  That a mom connects with moms and just kind of traditional
• 4:22
  family values and everything. And yeah, it's been exciting to
• 4:26
  watch and encouraging. Yep.
• 4:28
  So. Good stuff.
• 4:30
  All right, so go, Hannah, vote. Vote now.
• 4:31
  Vote early. Yeah, well, I don't think you
• 4:34
  vote now, but, you know, TuneIn, next, next Monday, I think, is
• 4:37
  the the finale. And then we'll see how it goes.
• 4:40
  Yeah, you sound like the host of American Idol.
• 4:43
  Yeah. Ryan Seacrest.
• 4:44
  Ryan Seacrest. Yeah, me and Ryan, we go way
• 4:46
  back. Oh yeah.
• 4:47
  We we watched from the the first season and we we kind of watched
• 4:51
  and then we didn't watch. And then we got back on and then
• 4:53
  we didn't. And so we kind of been on on
• 4:55
  again, off again, American Idol fans.
• 4:56
  But yeah, all right, well, today we're going to talk about how
• 5:01
  we're fans of the clean machine, we're fans of chores, we're fans
• 5:08
  of being good stewards with what, with what we've been given
• 5:12
  in life. And that means keeping it clean,
• 5:15
  that means keeping it maintained, that means putting
• 5:18
  it up, that means, you know, repairing it, things of that
• 5:23
  nature. So we're going to keep this kind
• 5:25
  of short today because we didn't, we don't want to
• 5:27
  belabour the subject, but we realized at the end of our FAQ
• 5:32
  sesh, there were some things that we had not gone into
• 5:37
  detail. And chores is one of them.
• 5:38
  I know that we've talked about it here and there and we took
• 5:40
  tool time and we've talked about the work program, we've talked
• 5:43
  about the, the daily rhythms and everything like that, but never
• 5:46
  like a whole podcast, you know, dedicated to chores.
• 5:49
  And maybe at the end of this podcast, we'll realize why we
• 5:52
  didn't dedicate a whole podcast to it.
• 5:55
  But I think there's some valuable things that we can talk
• 5:57
  about. Yeah, for sure.
• 5:59
  I mean, not everybody gets super excited about chores.
• 6:05
  I mean, you just tell the boys, OK, chores.
• 6:08
  And we say that to our kids at home and like, what's the
• 6:11
  natural reaction? Boring.
• 6:15
  But yes, as Axel said, it is a necessity and we all have to
• 6:21
  live and work in an environment and if we don't take care of it,
• 6:25
  it creates, it's a small way for us to be able to, you know,
• 6:30
  develop structure in the boys that, you know, we talk about
• 6:32
  the little things equal the big things, right?
• 6:34
  And so that's a great place to start is every morning you wake
• 6:39
  up and that structure starts and you got to keep your place clean
• 6:43
  because one, teenage boys don't like to do that, right?
• 6:47
  And they don't like to keep their spaces clean.
• 6:49
  On the average, they don't. Like to keep themselves clean.
• 6:52
  Don't like to keep themselves clean.
• 6:53
  We've done the hygiene one have talked about that but yeah I
• 6:57
  mean us that have teenage boys, there's always a faint stench
• 7:01
  coming from those locations. And so cleaning your room,
• 7:05
  cleaning your areas, and just as a whole, it's a very important
• 7:09
  skill to teach. And a lot of those skills we've
• 7:14
  learned, they don't know like just to how to use a broom.
• 7:18
  You know, I think many boys just like some tools they've never
• 7:22
  used legitimately have not used a broom in a dustpan very often.
• 7:27
  They just need to be taught how to sweep right.
• 7:30
  I'm amazed at how often I have to explain to a new boy the
• 7:33
  geometry of a broom, the way that it's shaped.
• 7:37
  You know, like there's one end that's kind of pointy for
• 7:40
  getting in corners and there's another end for kind of dragging
• 7:42
  it. And they try and like use the
• 7:46
  the wrong end of the broom to get into the corner.
• 7:49
  That seems like common sense to me, but I guess they just
• 7:52
  sometimes never used a broom. I guess.
• 7:54
  I don't know. Yeah, the point is you just take
• 7:58
  it for granted what you know and you're kind of your world is
• 8:03
  deflecting onto them and they just literally maybe have never
• 8:07
  used a broom. I wouldn't say that's probably a
• 8:10
  rarity that a boy has never really used a broom, but the way
• 8:13
  they use it it. They've never used it the right
• 8:17
  way effectively and and I'm probably an outlier when it
• 8:20
  comes to broom use because I grew up with a broom in my hand.
• 8:24
  True statement. True, because my dad has a
• 8:26
  business called take away trash service.
• 8:28
  Is literally called take away trash service.
• 8:30
  So we got lots of instructions over the years about how to
• 8:34
  sweep up after a job and how to leave things nice.
• 8:37
  Like that's the last thing you do.
• 8:39
  And that's the impression that the customer is left with.
• 8:42
  You may have spent days on a job and done all the hard work.
• 8:45
  And if you don't take the time at the last 10 minutes to sweep
• 8:49
  up after yourself, then that customer is going to be left
• 8:52
  with a bad taste in their mouth and they're not going to really
• 8:54
  remember all the good stuff you did.
• 8:56
  So that's a lesson I try and teach the boys is like, this is
• 8:59
  a this is a reflection of you as a person, you know, and as a as
• 9:04
  a worker. And you're going to be judged
• 9:07
  based upon how you leave your, the place where where you just
• 9:11
  left. Yeah, you know.
• 9:13
  Well, when I was working in the project management world in a
• 9:16
  construction site, that's one of the key things from a safety
• 9:20
  standpoint and organizational standpoint with all the other
• 9:24
  trades working in there like every day, you got to be able to
• 9:30
  either manage the trades and have them clean up after
• 9:32
  themselves in each of their locations or just make sure.
• 9:35
  I remember when we were doing like stores, smaller stores, at
• 9:39
  the end of the day, if the trades didn't clean, there's
• 9:42
  always some kind of mess. But it was just making sure that
• 9:45
  things were neat and tidy and at least swept up and things not
• 9:49
  left out that's going to get lost or broken or just be a
• 9:52
  safety hazard that somebody could trip on.
• 9:54
  And so it's a, you know, just keeping the space to where it's
• 9:58
  clean and also inviting the next time you use it.
• 10:01
  Also productivity, like if you come into a job and everything
• 10:05
  is organized, like you said, and cleaned and swept up, you're in
• 10:07
  a better mental state. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it sets
• 10:10
  off the tone. Like, OK, let's do some work.
• 10:12
  I don't have to waste a bunch of time trying to find some
• 10:15
  something or tripping over something or something in my way
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  and like it's just affecting my my work procedure and
• 10:23
  everything. O like there are all kinds of
• 10:24
  reasons why we do chores. And I think that's another kind
• 10:28
  of take away for, you know, parents, teachers, counselors is
• 10:31
  like they're all housing all kinds of lessons in these things
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  that we kind of take for granted as parents.
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  And maybe we we don't take advantage of the opportunity to
• 10:41
  explain to our kids or our students or clients of why we do
• 10:46
  something. We just say we'll do it.
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  Why? Because I said so.
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  Well, sometimes that's an appropriate response 'cause we
• 10:52
  do have to learn how to be obedient and humble and follow
• 10:55
  orders. But if you're, if you're a whole
• 10:57
  reason for existing as a coach or a teacher is to like explain
• 11:02
  to people and help them to understand, why not take the
• 11:04
  time to say here's here's why we do the chore, here's why we do
• 11:07
  it in this order. And here's how it benefits you.
• 11:11
  Yeah. So try to appeal to their their
• 11:13
  logic in your mind a little bit. Yeah.
• 11:17
  And I think it's important to you talked about you're better
• 11:23
  at really looking at the method and teaching them how to do it
• 11:30
  right. I would say it's a little like
• 11:33
  I'm bent towards just getting frustrated like at home.
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  And it's just like, and not a lot of parents are this way of
• 11:38
  just like I don't do it for him, but I have the tendency to just
• 11:42
  like, just let me do it. I can do it like in 10 * 10
• 11:47
  times faster than you can do it instead of taking the time to
• 11:50
  really teach them like that's an important thing to let them as a
• 11:53
  parent, let them struggle through the learning process.
• 11:57
  But we have to teach them how to be efficient with these things
• 12:00
  and, and learn how to do it on their own accord.
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  You know, I think that's the, the biggest challenge is just
• 12:07
  not having to always give the reminder.
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  And part of that is just the parenting pain points that you
• 12:15
  have of just teenage boys being lazy and girls of just, and not
• 12:20
  wanting to do it, but trying to get them to do the job on their
• 12:23
  own accord and to do it right. Yeah, instead of doing it.
• 12:26
  Well, I think I might be a little better at it than you are
• 12:28
  just because I'm not naturally as good at things as you are.
• 12:31
  So I've maybe had to learn myself how to do some things
• 12:34
  and, and really devote some attention to like, how do I
• 12:37
  actually do this instead of like being intuitively good at it,
• 12:41
  You know, like coaches, some, you know, the best coaches
• 12:45
  usually aren't like the star athletes because they get
• 12:48
  frustrated. They're like, it kind of comes
• 12:49
  easy to them and so they don't. Get this?
• 12:52
  Yeah, I don't. Understand why can't you hit 330
• 12:55
  and win a, you know, win an MVP award when I, I did it in my
• 12:58
  rookie season? Yeah, I can.
• 13:00
  Say not anticipate where the ball's going.
• 13:03
  Some things just, you know, just come naturally so.
• 13:06
  But chores do not come naturally.
• 13:09
  And so let's talk about some of the boys, some of the chores
• 13:12
  that we have here at the ranch to to expand upon what the daily
• 13:17
  rhythm of the of the life looks like here for a boy.
• 13:23
  Yeah, well, life skill training is a big part of the the
• 13:27
  program. And so as chores play into that,
• 13:30
  it's really helping them. So just learn different types of
• 13:35
  chores. I would say the main like we
• 13:37
  have a chore chart and that's part of the boys getting to the
• 13:40
  next level is getting graded on how they do on their chores.
• 13:44
  And so depending on the number of boys that we have, we divide
• 13:47
  up the number of chores. And so it's either sweeping the
• 13:52
  floors and the entryway, the dining room.
• 13:55
  Sometimes we'll have two boys on sweep just because there's big
• 13:58
  spaces and. Just to frame it, this is after
• 14:00
  every meal. Yeah, after these are.
• 14:02
  Meal chores. Meal chores, essentially so
• 14:06
  sweeping we've talked about wiping off the table there's.
• 14:11
  Horizontal surfaces. Yeah, horizontal.
• 14:13
  There's countertops in the island.
• 14:16
  There is unloading the dishwasher.
• 14:19
  Obviously we run that three times a day.
• 14:21
  So there's always dishes that need to be put in and dishes
• 14:25
  that need to be taken out. And so we usually have two
• 14:28
  people on the dishes. We have dish assist, which is
• 14:31
  taking the dishes out and then putting helping to put the new
• 14:36
  dirty dishes in. And then we have a dishwasher
• 14:39
  scrubbing dishes to go in the dishwasher, self-explanatory or
• 14:44
  those that can't go in the dishwasher.
• 14:47
  And then sometimes putting the food away, we have to label the
• 14:51
  food and put it in Tupperware and just put a date on it.
• 14:57
  And so those are some of the basic chores that we have on
• 15:01
  both in both houses and so. I'd also add entryways is you
• 15:06
  know when when people come into the house we want it to look
• 15:09
  nice so we always have someone looking at the front porch.
• 15:11
  Yeah, all the shoes. Even the steps.
• 15:13
  Yeah, the organized stores thousands of shoes.
• 15:15
  Yeah, we got. Yeah.
• 15:18
  And then the bathroom too. There's a bathroom that.
• 15:20
  Oh yes, next to the. Kitchen so.
• 15:22
  Bathroom chores key. So and then a living room too,
• 15:26
  cause living room kind of adjoins with the dining room
• 15:29
  area. So, you know, making everything
• 15:31
  look nice and tidy. You never know who's going to
• 15:33
  come visit. Yeah, we.
• 15:34
  Have a lot of visitors. And foot forward.
• 15:36
  It's important and we explain that to them.
• 15:38
  It's like, hey, we have a lot of people invested in the program
• 15:43
  and a lot of people that parents coming through and potential
• 15:46
  parents and it's important. To and I've talked to a lot of
• 15:49
  parents over the years too, who are just really glad that that
• 15:52
  we instill that value in them and how that's a really
• 15:56
  oftentimes a huge change in the dynamic of the relationship when
• 16:00
  they come home because, yeah, it's just been drilled into
• 16:03
  them. Like there's some things that
• 16:04
  they don't that don't transfer as well.
• 16:07
  It's like, you know, well, he still does this and why, why
• 16:10
  weren't we able to fix that? But like, the thing of like
• 16:13
  dinner is over now. We do chores.
• 16:14
  It's like you've done it three times a day for 10 months, 12
• 16:18
  months. It's like almost automatic.
• 16:21
  Yeah. There's no, there's no arguing
• 16:22
  about it. I'm not saying that's 100%, but
• 16:25
  yeah, very, very frequently we get that feedback from parents.
• 16:28
  Yep, I would say in the mornings they got to sweep also their
• 16:35
  rooms under their beds and just a main sweep of their room.
• 16:40
  Keep their dresser tidy. They can have a few things on
• 16:44
  there but organized. Make their bed tucked in.
• 16:48
  Clothes hang up their. Ships clean up the shower, make
• 16:53
  sure there's no big wet spots and just put their hygiene away.
• 16:59
  And so those are those are the majority of the like daily
• 17:02
  chores that they have and they get graded on and all that goes
• 17:05
  into how they move up the level system.
• 17:10
  Are they are they doing those things good and with a good
• 17:14
  attitude? Yeah.
• 17:15
  And so. So if a boy refuses to do his
• 17:17
  chore, which which happens on occasion, there are going to be
• 17:20
  consequences for it. First, he'll get a low score and
• 17:23
  that will affect, you know, whether or not he makes it to
• 17:26
  the next level. But if he continues to do the
• 17:29
  same thing, then we may have to increase the consequences.
• 17:32
  So he may get certain, you know, an hour of work where he's got
• 17:36
  to be outside doing something more laborious than just
• 17:39
  sweeping the room floor or things like that.
• 17:42
  And if it continues, maybe even a work day or things like that.
• 17:45
  So, right, sometimes a boy might do it well in all aspects of the
• 17:49
  program, but for some reason he just won't clean his room.
• 17:53
  And it seems like such a little thing, but there's something
• 17:56
  more there, Yeah. Sometimes about why he's not.
• 17:59
  Doing it, yeah, you know, that becomes a part of the therapy
• 18:01
  other than just. Being lazy, yeah.
• 18:03
  But yeah, you mentioned a word early on that stood out to me as
• 18:09
  a dealt with, dealt with chores and as a director of development
• 18:12
  and looking at resources and talking with other potential
• 18:16
  donors and their resources and just being able to to steward
• 18:22
  the things that God has given us.
• 18:24
  And you know, we take that, we don't take that job lightly.
• 18:30
  It's God has given us a lot and uses a lot of people and their
• 18:33
  resources. And so it's something we think
• 18:36
  about a lot is just how can we be good stewards of other
• 18:40
  people's resources to help build the Kingdom here?
• 18:44
  You use that word early on, which is how it deals with
• 18:48
  chores and teaching the boys stewardship.
• 18:50
  How Maybe you can expound a little bit on that.
• 18:54
  Yeah, well. Things last longer if you take
• 18:56
  care of them, you know, And this applies to little things like
• 19:00
  plates and forks and bowls and things like that, but also
• 19:04
  larger things like tools and equipment and cars.
• 19:08
  And then beyond that, it applies to relationships, your marriage
• 19:12
  and your, your friendships and things like that.
• 19:14
  Like they, they require certain amount of maintenance.
• 19:17
  And if you just leave them alone, then entropy kind of sets
• 19:21
  in. Things removed from a state of,
• 19:24
  of order to disorder. And yeah, you have to, you have
• 19:28
  to pay attention to them. And, you know, stewardship, the
• 19:32
  traditional kind of metaphor is that of like, you know, someone
• 19:36
  who's managing someone's money. And there's the, the parable of
• 19:40
  the talents and the guy that took the money and buried it in
• 19:42
  the ground and just forgot about it.
• 19:43
  And when the time was come to return the money to the guy who
• 19:48
  gave it to him, he said, here, I kept it safe.
• 19:49
  And he's like, well, I expected to do a lot more than that with
• 19:53
  it. And then one guy invested it and
• 19:55
  it got, you know, twice as much and another five times as much.
• 19:58
  And then, you know, the other servant was like 10 times as
• 20:01
  much. And and he's like, you know.
• 20:03
  Was was really applauded by by the.
• 20:08
  The owner. The owner.
• 20:09
  For doing so and so that and then also like of a garden, like
• 20:13
  if you just leave a garden all to itself, it's going to grow up
• 20:15
  weeds and bugs and it's going to come infested and, and you have
• 20:19
  to water it and you have to tend it and things like that.
• 20:21
  So there's all kinds of like biblical lessons that that we
• 20:24
  learn when we think about like stewardship and what it means to
• 20:27
  be in God's Kingdom and to be a servant of his that we can kind
• 20:31
  of draw out of chores. Yeah.
• 20:35
  And that's again going back to the faithful with little, you'll
• 20:38
  be faithful with much. You look at.
• 20:41
  Yeah, the donors again, going back to them, somebody who's,
• 20:45
  you know, God has blessed him with a lot of resources.
• 20:48
  You know, the fact that they are very generous with their
• 20:54
  resources. Probably they learned that
• 20:56
  lesson early on of taking care of the little things and being
• 21:01
  good stewards of the little things and saving their money
• 21:05
  and investing in their money and making their money grow.
• 21:08
  I mean all that is part of that. You learn the the better, the
• 21:13
  earlier you learn that, the better you will apply that down
• 21:19
  the line and you will be able to do a lot of great things with
• 21:23
  your resources and and God blesses that.
• 21:26
  And So what better way to start that education than right here
• 21:31
  at what Stone Boys Ranch? That's right.
• 21:33
  And I think another thing it teaches is like teamwork.
• 21:35
  Like teamwork makes the dream work.
• 21:37
  And let's all get in this and, and get this job done together
• 21:40
  and make it easier on the night next guy.
• 21:43
  And you can teach lessons about kindness and about how when
• 21:47
  you're doing your chore, you are being thoughtful towards the
• 21:50
  next person who's going to need this thing.
• 21:53
  Yeah. And that's an important thing
• 21:55
  for the boys. And it's also important thing
• 21:57
  for staff to learn. We're not always great at that
• 21:59
  either. Like.
• 22:00
  Yeah. I really.
• 22:01
  Don't even want to mention our track record when it comes to
• 22:05
  clean. Keeping the sink clean on the
• 22:07
  staff side or the bathroom side like we can.
• 22:10
  We can sometimes not practice what we preach, unfortunately,
• 22:13
  and we need to be held accountable and and we need to
• 22:15
  be good stewards and good examples.
• 22:18
  You know, another thing that that we have to be careful of
• 22:20
  here at the ranch is like borrowing tools.
• 22:23
  Yeah. Because you know, we have pretty
• 22:26
  generous policy, I would say here at the ranch for if you
• 22:28
  need a chainsaw and over the weekend, then you can check it
• 22:31
  out from the ranch and just make sure it gets cleaned up and it's
• 22:35
  filled with gas when you return it and you didn't break
• 22:37
  something on it and get it back on time and, and fill out the
• 22:41
  log and say, I have it and here's where it is and I'll have
• 22:44
  it back by this time and all that stuff.
• 22:46
  And I really appreciate Jeremy Patton and how the amazing job
• 22:50
  he's done with the with that and keeping everything organized and
• 22:54
  just a really, really solid example of being a good steward.
• 22:58
  Yeah. We got to have him on the show.
• 23:00
  Oh. Yeah, he can be a little.
• 23:02
  Quiet, a little shy sometimes. Bring it out a little cajoling.
• 23:05
  Yeah, once, once you warm him up, he's he has the gift of the
• 23:08
  gab, but it doesn't it doesn't come at first, first glance.
• 23:13
  Yeah, seem. Like I had something that jogged
• 23:19
  my memory when you were talking last, but it has escaped me.
• 23:25
  Well, we can talk about. Animal chores, that's another
• 23:28
  thing. Did we talk about that?
• 23:30
  No. We haven't.
• 23:32
  I mean, we can, Yeah, we have. We have chickens and we did have
• 23:34
  pigs and we don't have pigs anymore now that we have a new
• 23:38
  house. We did not want those stinking
• 23:41
  beasts close to the new house and having having that around.
• 23:47
  But yeah, there's definitely fence chores and all the
• 23:53
  different chores in the shop, you know, and just the 285
• 23:57
  acres, there's a lot of things to take care of.
• 24:00
  And it's a great, a great place to start that education of just
• 24:07
  learning how to be a good steward.
• 24:09
  Yeah. We.
• 24:09
  Have a horse, so the horse has to get fed and and chickens and
• 24:14
  collecting the eggs and making sure the chickens get put up.
• 24:17
  And, you know, traditionally animal chores and farm chores
• 24:21
  have been just a, a great way to teach young people
• 24:25
  responsibility, like 'cause if, I mean, you know, real quick,
• 24:29
  if, if, if you're not being responsible with the animal
• 24:32
  because it dies and it's a pretty severe consequence,
• 24:36
  right? And especially if you're a young
• 24:38
  person and you're, you're learning, you're working through
• 24:40
  emotions and, and responsibility and attention to detail like
• 24:45
  that, that if that happens to you once, it can be like
• 24:47
  traumatic. And it's a really good, you
• 24:50
  know, that we want animals to die, but like when, when the
• 24:53
  animal dies and the, the old person learns that lesson, I
• 24:56
  didn't take care of this wound. It got infected.
• 24:59
  And, you know, my, my pig or my sheep or whatever died.
• 25:03
  It's, it's a all kinds of children's stories and novels
• 25:06
  written about the, the tragedy and the trauma of that kind of
• 25:09
  thing or of the wolves attacking it or whatever.
• 25:12
  It's a really, really good life lesson.
• 25:13
  So we we want to do more and more than that as we grow and as
• 25:17
  we build an equine therapy program and, and things of that
• 25:19
  nature. But that is definitely a part of
• 25:21
  our mission. Yeah.
• 25:23
  Yeah, well, we said that we would keep it short and sweet.
• 25:28
  Well, hold up now. Hold up now I got a couple.
• 25:30
  I got a couple more things. Uh oh, Max was coming.
• 25:33
  At us, just a couple. More because I I feel like
• 25:37
  setting the expectations is important when it comes to to
• 25:41
  chores. Like 'cause I am guilty of
• 25:45
  getting too detailed with with a boy You don't say yeah at times.
• 25:50
  At times. I have been known.
• 25:52
  To become to be a little overbearing with how, how clean
• 25:56
  the floor should be or how how quickly the chore should be
• 26:00
  done. And some of that's me working
• 26:02
  through some of my own issues with my dad and working and post
• 26:05
  traumatic stress. And I kind of go into fight or
• 26:07
  flight mode. Yeah, when I'm cleaning stuff
• 26:09
  and, and remember the times when I didn't do things right for the
• 26:13
  business and my dad's livelihood was at stake.
• 26:16
  So like survival kind of kicks in.
• 26:18
  But I think it's it's true of a lot of parents, all of our
• 26:21
  parents, because we can generally, as you mentioned, do
• 26:23
  things better than our kids can. And So what is an appropriate
• 26:28
  level to hold them accountable for?
• 26:30
  And when do we cross over that and then become overbearing,
• 26:33
  right. How do you how do you check
• 26:35
  yourself before you wreck yourself?
• 26:38
  Yeah, I did remember, I remembered what I was going to
• 26:43
  say. But I guess the yes, you are
• 26:49
  correct to be able to, there's a just the environment here even
• 26:55
  with chores like you said it, it has a tendency to bring out some
• 26:58
  stuff with us that maybe we haven't totally processed
• 27:02
  through. And it's amazing how over the
• 27:05
  years that has, we've seen that all of us have had that happen.
• 27:10
  And there's been, you know, we come with our own baggage.
• 27:13
  And it could be something as simple as chores to to bring
• 27:17
  that out. But it's a great environment to
• 27:22
  just, you know, work through that and just have that
• 27:25
  conversation and be honest with the boys about that.
• 27:28
  And I think with the teaching moment for the boys, you talked
• 27:36
  about maybe helping boys help the others with their chores And
• 27:41
  as part of just like creating value, I guess is the, is what I
• 27:45
  thought of as the teaching moment for the boys with just,
• 27:50
  it's not just doing it to do it, but there's a purpose and it is
• 27:54
  structure and learning how to, to be good stewards.
• 27:57
  But also thinking about it like you're creating value for
• 28:01
  somebody else. You're creating value for the
• 28:02
  house, You're creating value for yourself, right?
• 28:06
  You're setting up a clean environment.
• 28:07
  You're, you're creating value for the other, other residents.
• 28:11
  And then what about like, Oh, wow, I'm going to do my chore,
• 28:15
  but then I'm going to just jump in and help the other guy do his
• 28:18
  chore. Like maybe a new guy that is
• 28:21
  struggling and, or somebody who has a pile of dishes.
• 28:24
  That's always the worst one. Definitely at our house, you
• 28:26
  know, it was just like the dish chore.
• 28:28
  Everybody hates the night when dish chore is their night and
• 28:32
  then it's like spaghetti night on top of that so and so that's
• 28:39
  something like using that verbiage is you know the the
• 28:43
  value creation for other people is, I think a good way to look
• 28:48
  at it yeah and and service I've seen that a.
• 28:50
  Lot over the years the older boys come alongside the the
• 28:53
  newer ones and say hey here's how to here's how to do that
• 28:56
  yeah. Clima is the first one I
• 28:57
  remember really leaning into that OK and and he used to tell
• 29:03
  me he just liked he he enjoyed watching me clean He's like Mr.
• 29:06
  Lima you're just like an artist when it comes to cleaning and
• 29:09
  it's funny and so you wouldn't know that by looking at the
• 29:14
  inside of my truck but I mean in my school room yeah I'm I'm very
• 29:17
  particular about how things are but yeah.
• 29:20
  That we call that hurdle help in the biz some some jargon we use
• 29:25
  hurdle help coming alongside someone and helping them out.
• 29:29
  So yeah, so I wanted to mention that.
• 29:31
  And then I also just kind of wanted to end with a little
• 29:35
  story of like the origin of the phrase clean machine, at least
• 29:39
  in my mind. Is this a Freddy?
• 29:40
  Story. Yeah, my.
• 29:41
  Dad would would, every once in a while.
• 29:44
  He wasn't big on keeping things clean or tidy or, or orderly by
• 29:49
  any stretch of the imagination, but he knew when my mom, you
• 29:54
  know, had reached her limit and he had to Marshall the forces
• 29:59
  and get everyone together to clean the house.
• 30:01
  And so he'd be like, all right, everyone and this is 6 kids in
• 30:04
  our house, you know, and it's time for a clean machine.
• 30:08
  And he would make it like a big, like a big spectacle, you know,
• 30:11
  and we would all like be Aww, it's clean machine time.
• 30:14
  And we would run around and like move as fast as we could, you
• 30:17
  know, to try to get things clean.
• 30:19
  So you guys? Legitimately got excited.
• 30:20
  Yeah, it was kind of a fun. It was kind of a.
• 30:22
  Game and he'd be like OK this place is going to shine like the
• 30:26
  top of the Chrysler building you know the line from Annie yeah in
• 30:30
  Hannigan. Miss Hannigan Carol Burnett yeah
• 30:33
  in the the 1980s Annie and and that was a popular.
• 30:38
  I think we'd even play Annie. He would turn on Annie and we'd
• 30:41
  be like, it's a Hard Knocks like.
• 30:43
  For us and. So he would, he would kind of
• 30:48
  make it fun. And you know, for in spite of
• 30:52
  what I said earlier about like some of the PTSD and the trauma
• 30:55
  of like work, like when it was a livelihood, it was one thing,
• 30:58
  but when it was like helping out mom, he was really good at, at
• 31:02
  getting us all motivated to do it.
• 31:03
  So there is a camaraderie I think that comes with work and
• 31:07
  comes with everyone working together and in, in the best of
• 31:12
  times. I, I see that operating here at
• 31:14
  the ranch with the boys during short time and on work days and
• 31:18
  we have projects and volunteer groups and everything like that.
• 31:21
  It's amazing. How quickly you can clean a
• 31:23
  place if everybody's doing their job, my goodness, you know many
• 31:26
  hands. Makes light work.
• 31:28
  That was another one of my, my dad's phrases.
• 31:32
  And then I, I took a little picture.
• 31:34
  I'm going to post this on social, but Jessica Olsen is
• 31:37
  our, you know, house mom and kitchen manager.
• 31:40
  She's amazing. And we'll have the Olsen's on
• 31:42
  the podcast at some point, I hope.
• 31:44
  But she had this thing in the kitchen.
• 31:46
  I just saw it. It says kitchen rules.
• 31:48
  If you empty it, fill it. If you dirty it, clean it.
• 31:51
  If you open it, close it, if you spill it, wipe it, and if you
• 31:56
  cook it, share it. That was kind of sweet how it
• 32:00
  ended there. So I thought that was a really
• 32:03
  good way to sum that up. Very, very pithy.
• 32:06
  Pithy, yeah. Very.
• 32:08
  Succinct. Yeah, very good.
• 32:09
  Perfect all. Right.
• 32:11
  So. Yeah, I think that was valuable.
• 32:15
  What do you think, Brandon? Yeah, I think we have.
• 32:17
  Time to talk about. Chores.
• 32:18
  Pithy enough? Yeah, so I like it good.
• 32:22
  All right. Well, thank you all for
• 32:23
  listening to us talk about chores and hope you found
• 32:27
  something useful in it. There's some.
• 32:28
  Real sharpeners sticking through the 30 minutes of chore talk.
• 32:32
  I think we're up in the mid 70s here with this podcast.
• 32:35
  So. Almost to 100 and we need to
• 32:38
  make some T-shirts at some point.
• 32:40
  There you go for the podcast. But thank you all for listening.
• 32:44
  Thank you to Thomas Brown for, for putting this together
• 32:48
  recently. You'll be seeing it hopefully
• 32:50
  soon. We have a video that he's put
• 32:52
  together. He's amazing with his video
• 32:54
  skills and, and interviewing the boys and getting some materials
• 32:58
  out there to, in the, as a resource to parents trying to
• 33:01
  decide if they're going to place a boy with us.
• 33:03
  So we appreciate all his hard work answering phones and, and
• 33:08
  all that. So thank you, Thomas.
• 33:10
  Shucks, folks, I'm speechless. Good stuff, Yeah.
• 33:14
  And yeah, that's it, I have to run off and take care of some
• 33:20
  more chores myself here before I go.
• 33:22
  Home for the day, so we've. Got plenty of those.
• 33:24
  Yeah, all right. It's.
• 33:25
  Good, good talking to you, Brandon.
• 33:26
  Thank you all for listening and we'll catch you next time on a
• 33:29
  time. To Sharpener Whetestone Boys
• 33:39
  Ranch is a therapeutic boarding school located in the scenic
• 33:42
  Ozarks of southern Missouri. It was founded in 2011 to serve
• 33:47
  families from around the country who are struggling with
• 33:49
  challenging behaviors from their 12 to 16 year old sons.
• 33:53
  Our mission is to sharpen the character of young men.
• 33:57
  Please visit whetstoneboysranch.com if you
• 33:59
  want to learn more about our program or about how to contact
• 34:03
  us for help. Thanks for listening and we hope
• 34:05
  to catch you next time on A time to Sharpen.