Latest / Fierce Encouragement / Reset The Thermostat

Transcript

Reset The Thermostat · Fierce Encouragement

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hey there.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is Mark Walker, and this is Fierce Encouragement.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for being here.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, this is what the show or this podcast is about.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: It is about your rough days.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: It's about those tough, difficult weeks that you might find yourself in.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: And this show is really constructed around addressing and making evident that crappy inner voice that might be with us, the one that won't shut up, and the one that can oftentimes be really vicious to ourselves.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm a coach, I'm a longtime meditator, I'm a dad, I'm a middle-aged man who has been standing in the fire.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to use this time to share tools, things that have helped me, things that help my clients, and most importantly, things that come into our lives at the right moment.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: Things like meditation and ancient wisdom, and even things that are coming from modern science, which is now catching up to what the ancient wisdom has known all along.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So this is an invitation, truly.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: It is an invitation to connect, to listen, to learn, and possibly, maybe, just shift something in how you talk to yourself.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's fierce encouragement.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: So today I wanted to talk about homeostasis.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not sure if you've run into that word, but if you haven't, kind of think about it like this.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's a thermostat.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Your house has a thermostat and you set it at a certain temperature.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: So if it gets too cool and it goes below a certain level, the furnace kicks on and puts some warm air into your house so the temperature comes back up to that setting.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And the same if it's too hot.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: If the weather gets too hot and you have an air conditioner, that thermostat will kick on the air conditioner and let it know that the temperature is risen.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: And let's bring it back down to that agreed upon temperature, like 68 degrees Fahrenheit.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: But the system does this kind of automatically every time.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Our mind and our energy kind of do the same thing.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean by that?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I'll give an example and kind of be open with my own struggles here.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'll block out 90 minutes to sit down and do my writing, to do my creative stuff and the podcast.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe I'll block out some time to do some planning and organizing.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'll sit down with my calendar and block out that time and put a reminder on and color code it and all those fun things.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'll make that time to sit down and finally do the thing.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: And then lately, with my Friday check-in with my weekly habits and business and growth, I've noticed I'm not showing up on well over half of them.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not showing up and doing the thing I say I want to do.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And then of course that erodes my confidence.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: I don't trust myself, and I find myself just kind of spinning out, maybe doing some low-level work that really isn't impacting my business and being dishonest with myself in a sense, thinking that I am doing high-level work, but truly, truly, I'm avoiding the hard things that I've set up, that I planned, that I want to get done.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it's frustrating to show up and kind of maybe stare at the things you've done or find yourself off target with a lot of your aims.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think there's a couple things that are important here.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, it's really good to get clear on what you want from each session or each block of time that you've set up.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I had a good coach share this with me this past week.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: When you set something up on your calendar, have the event written down, but also write down the outcome or the result or the deliverable for that session.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is hard work because we have to get specific about what we want to achieve.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: What do we want to leave that time with?
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: And how can we just go, push, and kind of get through?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: And even if it feels off and ugly and off balance, how can we still show up and do that thing?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Trusting that system of protecting our time and then building up that confidence that comes from doing what we say we want to do instead of just showing up and staring at the calendar or doing low quality or low-level work.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Even more importantly, when we miss those sessions, when we're not doing what we say we want to do with our time or with our planning, when we do plan, we can turn in on ourselves and kind of start abusing ourselves.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And again, speaking from personal experience, it's really hard when we don't do the thing that we want to do.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's really easy for that self-defeating, that critical nature, or that mind that is so trained, is trained really well about beating ourselves up.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: We might call ourselves lazy and inept and incapable.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then we'll go back in our memory banks and find other instances that prove that out.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Gosh, you are lazy, Mark.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: You are not doing the things you say you want to do.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And well, let's just go numb out.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just do something else.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: Let's do something that's feels better.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Let's go back to that 68 degrees, that homeostasis, because it's really uncomfortable to get out of that.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I think there's a really important distinction here, and I'm wondering if you've noticed it too as you listen along.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: We default to critical self-talk.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: We're really good at a sour narrative or sour voice around who we are and what we're doing and how we're not showing up.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: But what if, what if we could let go of the self-critical nature and stop taking it personally and stop defeating ourselves with our own inner energy or inner narrative or inner voice?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't laziness.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: It isn't.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're not inept, you're not incapable if you aren't showing up on those things that you want to.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: It's homeostasis.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's returning to that temperature you have set in your mind or with that project you're talking about.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: I think it's important to remember that, and another kind of distinguishing point within that is small degrees of change are so much better than trying to make big leaps.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: We've been programmed to see the big leaps, whether it's on social media or somebody else who's written a book or teachers.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: We see these huge leaps from where we're at to what this person is doing.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it seems impossible, or it feels like we should be able to make a big leap towards being that person.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I tell you what, it's a big trick we can play on ourselves because we want that and we get all juiced up and excited for it.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of the week, nothing.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't made that million dollars yet.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't signed five new clients in one week, we haven't done X, Y, Z.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: But it really isn't about laziness, it isn't about being enable, but it is about slowing down in a sense and making small shifts.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: So instead of trying to make that leap all at once or be perfect this week, it's about having small repeatable habits or time blocks or ways of monitoring how we are in order to take that next step.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: So letting go of the self-critical nature, letting go of the negative dialogue, stop taking the results that you're getting personally.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I get it, it's hard.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're kind of with ourselves all day.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: So we know who we are.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: But I'll challenge that.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you don't know who you are.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: And what do I mean by that?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there's another tool or another mindset that we can take on here, and it comes from tons of work, uh, whether it be scientific or ancient wisdom here, and this is about the identity that we carve out for ourselves.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: So if we want to alter that temperature on our thermostat, if we want to raise that temperature in a sense and have more outcomes in our life, well, let's do it in small measured segments, like I just mentioned.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: But let's also tap into who you need to be in order to take that next step or raise that degree or change your thermostat.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Stop abusing yourself or hating yourself for coming back to that homeostasis.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: Stop hating what results you're getting, and instead just see it as a system that is bringing you back to what it knows, to what it's comfortable with.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And even more importantly, slow down and take time to envision, to paint the picture of who you are when you show up for that workout, who you are when you take time to sit down and do that block of writing, who you are in all the things that you want to be.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you need to be?
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Tap into that person.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: When we practice and work from that new identity, when we let go of the sour self-talk or you know, the labeling and the you know, taking things personally and move towards that identity, that continual becoming, that moment-to-moment awareness, we start to change that thermostat.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: We start to move and inhabit and live that life that's really inspiring us.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: How could you use this idea of a thermostat in your day today, in your week?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Where are you maybe wanting to make that big leap and instead could connect with one small change, one small click of the thermostat up to the temperature that you really want?
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: And most importantly, how can you just stop the stuff self-criticism or catch it at least, and come back to an energy, a vibration, a spirit, if you will, of the person who you are when you do that habit?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Tap into them before you take action on the habit, tap into them when you're struggling, and just remember that fierce encouragement isn't always about powering through, but being present, being aware in who you are, what you are in the moment, and letting go of the criticalness and this taking that one step with that identity intact.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: We can use homeostasis as an idea, as a system to improve, but do it in small moments and really connect with that identity, who you are at your best.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's worth taking that time sitting down and listening and slowing down and connecting with those deeper parts of you, who you want to be in the next few years or the next few minutes.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this helped.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: This is an idea that's really helped me, and it's something that I'm tapping into with my clients and my own practices, especially around carving out that identity, carving out and remembering and touching in on who that person is, especially when you're struggling.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I hope this landed.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for spending some time with me today, listening, and I really appreciate it.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Put these things into practice.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know how you're going to practice them or how they're impacting your life.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: This stuff works if you work with it, if you take it to the journal, if you take time to think about it and pray and meditate with it.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: There's a lot of crap out there, a lot of sour um attitudes, and it's easy to be pulled into that, to think less of ourselves.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: But if something you heard here today landed with you and hit and really feels true for you, well, please sit with it.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Again, practice it.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, if you are ready to go deeper, I have a couple spots open this month for a free strategy session with me.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Just you and me one-on-one, no pitching, no sales.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: Truly an honest conversation about what's in the way for you.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: The link is in the show notes.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: It'd be great to connect with you.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: Grab one if it's calling out to you.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: But until next time, this is Mark Walker.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for being here.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Remember you're worth it.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Fiercely encourage yourself.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: And remember you can change that homeostasis, that temperature, that thermometer in your own being.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I hope this helped you.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, have a great day, have a great evening wherever you're at, and we will catch up with you next time.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Bye bye.