Latest / The Comeback Career Podcast with Fexingo: Returning After a Gap, Stay-at-Home Re-Entry / How a Career Gap Can Rebuild Your Professional Confidence
Transcript
- Lucas: I want to start today with a number. A LinkedIn survey from last year found that 62 percent of professionals who took a career gap of more than six months said their biggest fear wasn't skill decay — it was losing confidence. Luna: That's striking. Because the skills part, you can fix with a course or a project. But confidence feels so much more personal. Lucas: Exactly. And I think it's a fear that gets amplified by how quiet we are about it. People don't talk about the self-doubt that creeps in when you've been out of the workforce for a year or two. So today I want to look at whether a gap can actually rebuild your professional confidence — not just restore it, but strengthen it. Luna: I love that framing. Because I think a lot of our listeners have this idea that confidence is something you have or you don't. But it's more like a muscle, right? Lucas: It is. And there's some really interesting research on that. A 2023 paper in the Journal of Vocational Behavior looked at returners — people who took two-plus years off — and found that those who actively reflected on their gap experience reported higher self-efficacy than peers who never took a break. The gap itself wasn't the problem. It was how you processed it. Luna: So the key is intentional reflection. Not just waiting for confidence to magically come back. Lucas: Right. Let me give you a real example. Maria Gonzalez — she was a marketing director at Unilever, then took three years off to care for her aging parents. When she started looking to return, she told me she felt 'invisible.' She'd been running multi million dollar campaigns, and suddenly she couldn't get past a recruiter's screening call. Luna: That's such a common story. The resume gap becomes this huge red flag in their minds. Lucas: Exactly. But Maria did something smart. Instead of trying to hide the gap, she reframed it. She built a one-page document called 'The Leadership Skills I Built While Caregiving.' It listed things like complex scheduling, vendor negotiation with home care agencies, crisis management when her father had a stroke. She brought that to interviews. Luna: That's brilliant. It turns the gap from a negative into proof of capability. And it's not just spin — those are real skills. Lucas: She ended up getting a senior brand director role at Procter & Gamble. And she told me that the process of creating that document actually made her feel more confident than she had in her last year at Unilever. Because she'd never stopped to acknowledge what she'd learned. Luna: I think that's the piece a lot of us miss. We're so focused on what we didn't do — the missed promotions, the lost network — that we ignore the growth that happened. Lucas: And there's a term for this in psychology — 'post-traumatic growth.' It's the idea that after a significant challenge, people often develop stronger relationships, a greater sense of personal strength, and a clearer sense of priorities. A career gap, especially if it's for caregiving, illness, or personal reinvention, can trigger that kind of growth. Luna: But I imagine it doesn't happen automatically. You have to be deliberate about it. Lucas: Right. That's where the concept of 'confidence capital' comes in. I first heard it from a career coach named Dorie Clark. She argues that confidence is built through small, repeated wins — what she calls 'micro-wins.' Not one big résumé achievement, but five small things you do each week that prove to yourself you're capable. Luna: So for someone returning after a gap, that might look like — I don't know — reaching out to one former colleague, or writing a LinkedIn post about what you learned during the break? Lucas: Exactly. Or even something as small as updating your profile photo. The idea is to create momentum. Maria told me she set a goal to have one coffee chat per week for two months before she even started applying. By the time she had interviews, she'd already rebuilt her networking muscle and had a few people in her corner. Luna: That's a great tactic. It also reduces the pressure. You're not trying to land a job on the first call. You're just having a conversation. Lucas: And there's data that backs this up. A study from Harvard Business Review looked at returners in tech and found that those who participated in a structured re-entry program — with mentoring, skill refreshers, and peer support — reported a 40 percent increase in self-confidence within the first three months. The program itself wasn't about skill building. It was about reassurance. Luna: So the confidence issue is partly just a lack of feedback. When you're on a gap, you don't get the regular signals that you're doing a good job. No performance reviews, no client compliments, no 'great work on that presentation.' Lucas: That's exactly it. And that's why I think the gap can actually be an opportunity to rebuild confidence from a healthier foundation. Because a lot of people's pre-gap confidence was tied to external validation. The gap forces you to find internal anchors. Luna: I've seen that with friends who took parental leave. They came back less concerned about office politics and more focused on work that actually mattered to them. That clarity is a form of confidence. Lucas: Absolutely. Let me give you another angle. There's a concept called 'the confidence gap' — popularized by a book of the same name — which argues that women in particular are more likely to underestimate their abilities. A career gap can widen that gap if you're not careful. But it can also be the thing that closes it. Luna: How so? Lucas: Because when you're forced to reflect on what you actually accomplished during a gap — raising a child, managing a household budget, navigating a health crisis — you often realize you've developed strengths you didn't even know you needed. And those strengths transfer to the workplace in ways you might not expect. Luna: I think that's especially true for caregivers. The level of organization, patience, and crisis management required is immense. Lucas: Right. And companies are starting to recognize that. Some are even creating 'returnship' programs specifically for caregivers. But even without a formal program, the individual can take the lead. The key is to stop seeing the gap as a void and start seeing it as a data set. Luna: A data set. I love that. You're collecting evidence of your own capabilities. Lucas: Exactly. And then you present that evidence in interviews, in your LinkedIn summary, in your narrative. That's what Maria did. She didn't just say 'I took time off to care for my parents.' She said 'I managed a complex caregiving situation that required negotiation, scheduling, and rapid decision-making under pressure.' Same fact, completely different message. Luna: And I think that's where a lot of people stumble. They don't know how to tell the story. They worry it sounds like an excuse. Lucas: Right. So part of rebuilding confidence is practicing that story. And if today's episode helped you think about your own narrative a little differently — maybe gave you one idea for how to frame your gap — that's exactly what we hope for. Luna: Honestly, if this episode was worth a coffee to you, that's the link — buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. It's a small way to keep the show ad-free and focused on content like this. Lucas: And we mean that lightly. No pressure. Just if it resonated, that's where you can find us. Now, back to the confidence piece — I want to talk about one more strategy that I think is underused. Luna: What's that? Lucas: Volunteering. But not just any volunteering. Strategic volunteering that lets you test and prove a skill you'll need in your next role. Say you want to move into project management. You could volunteer to coordinate a fundraising event. It gives you a concrete accomplishment, a reference, and a confidence boost — all before you even apply for a job. Luna: That's a great bridge. And it also helps with the networking piece we talked about earlier. You meet people who see you in action. Lucas: Exactly. And that's really the theme of today's episode. Confidence isn't something you wait for. It's something you build, one micro-win at a time. And a career gap — far from being a liability — can be the foundation for a more grounded, more resilient professional identity. Luna: I think that's a powerful takeaway. So if you're listening and you're worried about how to return after a gap, start with one small thing this week. A coffee chat, a LinkedIn update, a list of skills you gained. Build from there. Lucas: And remember, the data shows that returners often outperform in areas like empathy and crisis management. That's not just a nice story. That's a competitive advantage. Thanks for joining us on The Comeback Career Podcast. Luna: We'll be back next week with another episode. Until then, take care.