Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - Just In Time

Transcript

Hour 3 - Just In Time · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Omaha, oh maha. We call it audible. It's our name.
0:03
Speaker 1: Birth three hour three is piping hot on this twenty
0:08
Speaker 1: first day of February, and a happy Friday to you.
0:12
Speaker 1: Major League Baseball is divorcing itself from ESPN or is
0:16
Speaker 1: it ESPN saying goodbye to Major League Baseball? Well, Rob
0:19
Speaker 1: Manford says it was upset or baseball was upset with
0:24
Speaker 1: the minimal coverage. So who looks worse in this deal?
0:28
Speaker 1: Who looks worse? Also, Vladimir Guerrero Junior liked a photoshop
0:32
Speaker 1: of him in a Yankee uniform, even though in the
0:35
Speaker 1: past he said he never wanted to play for New
0:37
Speaker 1: York what's that about? And Aaron Boone given a contract
0:40
Speaker 1: extension with the Bronx Bombers. What's his secret? As the
0:44
Speaker 1: Yankees were fundamentally flawed in the World Series loss to
0:47
Speaker 1: the Dodgers. And Justin Verlander wants Major League Baseball to
0:50
Speaker 1: put rules in to save starting pitching. Is there a
0:54
Speaker 1: chance of that happening? We'll talk about that as well.
1:00
Speaker 1: All of it's coming your way right now and including
1:02
Speaker 1: lame jokes. It's our number three, just in time, just
1:07
Speaker 1: in time for the start of spring training, Major League
1:10
Speaker 1: Baseball getting some really bad news, really bad news financially.
1:15
Speaker 1: Welcome in the beginning of another hour of the Ben
1:22
Speaker 1: Malor Show. We are in the air avare as we sculpt,
1:31
Speaker 1: our takes we do, and we know there's definitely something
1:34
Speaker 1: in it. We don't know what it is, but there's
1:36
Speaker 1: something there. Coast to coast, border to border and beyond.
1:39
Speaker 1: On the vast and muscularly powerful microphones of fs are
1:43
Speaker 1: amminating live from frogs croaking in the lagoon, which means
1:50
Speaker 1: rain will come real soon. We're broadcasting live from the
1:52
Speaker 1: tyraq dot com studios tyract dot com. We'll help you
1:56
Speaker 1: get there and unmatched, unmatched selection and fast, free shipping,
2:01
Speaker 1: free road hazard protection over ten thousand recommended in stars
2:05
Speaker 1: tyrack dot com. The Way Tire Buying show b Yeah,
2:13
Speaker 1: big number there, ten thousand. It's the way to go,
2:17
Speaker 1: absolutely and I know that Clug a big fan, big
2:23
Speaker 1: fan of that, our guy, Clug, So our lead this
2:27
Speaker 1: hour is from baseball. We'll get back to the hockey talk.
2:31
Speaker 1: Canada beat tam USA in overtime. Connor McDavid, the greatest
2:35
Speaker 1: player in hockey with the game winning kill shot as
2:40
Speaker 1: Canada wins the Four Nations tournament there and the crowd
2:43
Speaker 1: goes wild, but not in Boston. So our lead this
2:45
Speaker 1: hour is from baseball. Some big news out of spring training,
2:48
Speaker 1: not involving the Dodgers and Cubs and that new replay
2:53
Speaker 1: thing they're experimenting with in the Cactus League in the
2:55
Speaker 1: Great Fruit League. But if you have not heard yet,
2:58
Speaker 1: we learned that Major League Baseball and ESPN are dun
3:03
Speaker 1: skies as partners as business partners. Now. The reporting says
3:07
Speaker 1: that ESPN and Major League Baseball mutually agreed to opt
3:12
Speaker 1: out of their rights deal. Now they're doing this three
3:16
Speaker 1: years early. And this is a relationship depending how old
3:19
Speaker 1: you are. If you're like thirty five years old or younger,
3:23
Speaker 1: your entire life, Major League Baseball has been on the
3:27
Speaker 1: Entertainment and Sports Network out of Bristol, Connecticut, So this
3:30
Speaker 1: goes back a minute thirty five years now. In a
3:33
Speaker 1: memo to team owners, the Weasley Commissioner, Rob Manford said
3:38
Speaker 1: the league has not been pleased with the minimal coverage
3:42
Speaker 1: Major League Baseball receives on the Entertainment and Sports Network
3:46
Speaker 1: outside of live game coverage. So Baseball is attempting to say, hey,
3:52
Speaker 1: we don't like your coverage, and so this is what
3:54
Speaker 1: we're doing. So let us discuss the question. We know
3:57
Speaker 1: there's a divorce taking place here and Baseball and the
4:02
Speaker 1: entertainment and sports network are going their separate ways. Rob
4:04
Speaker 1: Manford claiming he's upset because of the coverage, But what's
4:09
Speaker 1: really going on here? And who looks worse in all
4:11
Speaker 1: of this? So I have pink, artificial sweetener, and jet blue,
4:19
Speaker 1: and we will combine all of these things together and
4:24
Speaker 1: we will do a seance. We'll do a reading, a
4:27
Speaker 1: table reading seance. So, first of all, to answer the question,
4:32
Speaker 1: who looks worse than this? The arrow is clearly pointing
4:35
Speaker 1: at the Commissioner's office in midtown Manhattan, Rob Manford, and
4:41
Speaker 1: he's out there complaining about the minimal coverage. And he's said, well,
4:45
Speaker 1: they cover over there, they cover the NFL and the
4:47
Speaker 1: NBA a lot more than they cover us. Now, while
4:50
Speaker 1: that is true, While that is true, it is also irrelevant.
4:54
Speaker 1: It's spin, spin, spin. Rob Manford's trying to position this
5:00
Speaker 1: as a good thing for Major League Baseball. It's damage control.
5:05
Speaker 1: Major League Baseball's marketing people have done a crap job
5:08
Speaker 1: at creating stars who are interesting. There are plenty of
5:13
Speaker 1: stars in Major League Baseball. They just don't carry over
5:16
Speaker 1: to sports talk radio and they don't carry over to
5:19
Speaker 1: sports television because they're dull. All Right, that's the ugly
5:24
Speaker 1: part that nobody wants to talk about, right, we're saying
5:26
Speaker 1: the quiet part out loud. And so Aaron Judge is
5:29
Speaker 1: amazing for the Yankees, and show Hail Tani's outstanding for
5:32
Speaker 1: the Dodgers. They're both great stars, but there's nothing they
5:36
Speaker 1: do that is mildly interesting away from the field. Nothing Right, Like,
5:43
Speaker 1: the other day there was a story Otani ended up
5:45
Speaker 1: on TMZ because he couldn't parallel park. That's the kind
5:49
Speaker 1: of stuff that we're getting. Okay, that's not a lot
5:51
Speaker 1: of meat on the bone. It's not. And so that's
5:54
Speaker 1: part of the problem. Now, regardless of that, you think
5:58
Speaker 1: about the people over there in Bristol, Connecticut, and that
6:02
Speaker 1: network pretty much exists at this point for some kind
6:04
Speaker 1: of like woke propaganda and live sports. That's it. And yet,
6:08
Speaker 1: if you take a couple of steps back and you
6:11
Speaker 1: look across the Serengetti, what's really going on here is
6:16
Speaker 1: ESPN essentially has given Major League Baseball a metaphorical pink slip.
6:22
Speaker 1: You're fired, your fired, right, something they would never ever consider.
6:27
Speaker 1: Could you imagine if any other broadcast network said, you know,
6:29
Speaker 1: we want to get out of this NFL contract three
6:31
Speaker 1: years early, or we want to get out of this
6:33
Speaker 1: NBA contract three years early. No, no one would ever
6:36
Speaker 1: do that. That would be blasphemy. You couldn't possibly do it.
6:40
Speaker 1: So instead they're doing it with Baseball, and Baseball is
6:44
Speaker 1: doing the walk of shame, and so they're trying to
6:46
Speaker 1: spin spin, spin there. There's nothing mutual about this. There's
6:50
Speaker 1: nothing because Major League Baseball is taking it in the
6:53
Speaker 1: shorts on this. ESPN was overpaying five hundred and fifty
6:59
Speaker 1: million dollars year for baseball rights, and they actually undercut
7:05
Speaker 1: major League Baseball, undercut that contract because they sold separate
7:08
Speaker 1: media rights deals to the streamers like Apple and Roku,
7:13
Speaker 1: which are worth a fraction of what they're getting from
7:19
Speaker 1: the entertainment and sports network, so thus devaluing with inflation
7:24
Speaker 1: the deal that was not. And so despite the changing landscape,
7:28
Speaker 1: and I have experienced that the last couple of years,
7:30
Speaker 1: with people cutting the cord and television in general, it's
7:35
Speaker 1: a much a different world than when I grew up.
7:38
Speaker 1: So everything's changed, right, There's not as many people paying
7:40
Speaker 1: for television. It's not readily available, and so the numbers
7:46
Speaker 1: you can make go down. But Rob Manford and the
7:49
Speaker 1: people in baseball, they were unwilling to work with Bally's
7:51
Speaker 1: sports people. They are unwilling to negotiate a lower deal
7:58
Speaker 1: with the people in Connecticut, and so now they're going
8:03
Speaker 1: to find themselves having to scrambled. We'll see how much
8:05
Speaker 1: money they get. I would be stunned if they get
8:09
Speaker 1: anywhere close to five hundred and fifty million dollars per year.
8:13
Speaker 1: Now I realized that Amazon's got money to burn, and
8:16
Speaker 1: then the Netflix and all these different places. But that's
8:19
Speaker 1: a ton of dough when you look at the numbers
8:22
Speaker 1: and who's actually watching these games. Now, Secondly, we go
8:26
Speaker 1: to Toronto, where the baseball is bad, but the drama
8:30
Speaker 1: is somewhat good. Here, Blue Jays star Vladimir Guerrero Junior,
8:34
Speaker 1: he made some headlines, went viral. Now why did he
8:37
Speaker 1: go viral? Because he clicked the like button on the
8:40
Speaker 1: gram He liked an Instagram photo of himself in a
8:45
Speaker 1: New York Yankee road uniform. So, Vladier Guerrero randomly, randomly
8:51
Speaker 1: liking a photoshop of him in the Yankee laundry. Yankee laundry,
8:57
Speaker 1: What is that all about? So this is a business decision.
9:02
Speaker 1: That is my answer. Business decision. Vladdie famously said a
9:06
Speaker 1: couple of years back that he would never sign with
9:09
Speaker 1: the Yankees, not even dead. Of course, no one's signing
9:12
Speaker 1: with the Yankees when they're dead, because you're dead. You
9:15
Speaker 1: can't sign when you're dead. You're dead. Dead doesn't sign
9:19
Speaker 1: that dead votes. And we learned this week that dead
9:22
Speaker 1: also collects Social Security, but you can't sign anything. So
9:25
Speaker 1: what changed? So Vladdy Guerrero told reporters this week that
9:29
Speaker 1: he and the jays men we're talking about the other day,
9:32
Speaker 1: they didn't reach an agreement. He made an artificial self
9:35
Speaker 1: imposed deadline spring training. No deal was done. So that
9:39
Speaker 1: means he's going to hit the market in twenty twenty
9:42
Speaker 1: five after the World Series. So that makes this part
9:46
Speaker 1: of the story. The clicking of the like button on
9:48
Speaker 1: the Yankee uniform. It makes it an artificial sweetener, is
9:53
Speaker 1: what it makes like. He's fanning the flames to artificially
9:58
Speaker 1: sweeten market. And you want a bidding war and Vladi
10:04
Speaker 1: Guerrero needs the Yankees to drive up the price with
10:09
Speaker 1: the Mets and the Dodgers and the Red Sox, and
10:13
Speaker 1: I had just explained to me years ago, and they're like, well,
10:18
Speaker 1: you know, if you're a big ticket item in baseball,
10:22
Speaker 1: even if you hate New York and everything New York's about,
10:26
Speaker 1: and you just can't handle the volume of people that
10:29
Speaker 1: are in Manhattan and in that area in general, you
10:34
Speaker 1: have to play the game of pretending that you like
10:38
Speaker 1: it to get them to big And there's a famous
10:42
Speaker 1: story of a guy for the Red Sox who hated
10:45
Speaker 1: playing in Boston, didn't like Finway Park, but they offered
10:49
Speaker 1: him a ton of money, so he signed the contract
10:52
Speaker 1: and he just kind of bit his tongue and did
10:54
Speaker 1: his time and made his money and then that's it
10:56
Speaker 1: all right now. Meanwhile, speaking of the Yankees, as we
10:58
Speaker 1: were in Boone, Aaron Boone was given a contract extension.
11:04
Speaker 1: I saw big Greg and Iowa wanted some hot takes
11:07
Speaker 1: on this Yankees signing Aaron Boone to a two year extension.
11:12
Speaker 1: So what is Aaron Boone's secret? He said, well, they're
11:15
Speaker 1: in the World Series, but then won the World Series.
11:17
Speaker 1: They were in the World Series, and I would see
11:18
Speaker 1: one of the most embarrassing moments in Yankee history in
11:21
Speaker 1: my lifetime was in Game five of the World Series
11:25
Speaker 1: when it looked like the Yankees were a little league team,
11:29
Speaker 1: that was a poorly coached baseball team by Aaron Boone.
11:32
Speaker 1: And you're rewarding Aaron Boone with another contract extension. So
11:38
Speaker 1: there's a couple of things that Aaron Boone has going
11:40
Speaker 1: for him. The biggest one is he follows directions. He's
11:44
Speaker 1: also a smooth talker with the media, and that's important. However,
11:49
Speaker 1: the biggest thing is that Aaron Boone. It's like he's
11:55
Speaker 1: a puppet, a sock puppet, and he just does that's
12:00
Speaker 1: whatever Brian Cashman and his army of nerds tell him
12:03
Speaker 1: to do. He's got his little three ring binder and
12:05
Speaker 1: that's it. He files along all right, now, final fut
12:09
Speaker 1: to the Bay Area. We go the Bay Area. That
12:13
Speaker 1: is where Giant Starter and former cheating as one one
12:18
Speaker 1: thousand and two, one thousand hole Justin Verlander. Verlander is
12:21
Speaker 1: now in the Bay Area. He's I believe, forty two
12:24
Speaker 1: years young and about as old as Methusela. So Justin
12:29
Speaker 1: Verlander publicly calling for a rule change in Major League Baseball. Verlandrew,
12:35
Speaker 1: who has a shot if he pitches till he's fifty
12:38
Speaker 1: to win five hundred games. I think he's at four
12:41
Speaker 1: to sixty two. But he'd have to pitch at least
12:44
Speaker 1: three more years to get to to five hundred and
12:47
Speaker 1: stay somewhat healthy. But anyway, Verlander's calling for a rule
12:50
Speaker 1: change in Major League Baseball that would force starting pitchers
12:55
Speaker 1: to pitch longer into games and decrease the increased reliant
13:00
Speaker 1: on bullpens. Berlanders said, quote, he told Bob Knight and go,
13:04
Speaker 1: I think there needs to be rules put in place.
13:08
Speaker 1: He now hygante pitchers said, it's the only way that
13:12
Speaker 1: you can put the gen back in the bottle. Yet
13:15
Speaker 1: you want to have some marquee pitchers who last more
13:18
Speaker 1: than five years, You're going to have to change the rules.
13:21
Speaker 1: You got to make the teams adjust. It's going to
13:24
Speaker 1: get worse. Both quote all right, So question for the
13:30
Speaker 1: esteem panel. Justin Verlander he wants Major League Baseball to
13:33
Speaker 1: put rules into save starting pitching. Is there a chance
13:39
Speaker 1: of that happening? So there are two chances of that happening.
13:44
Speaker 1: There's there's slim and none and if you look over
13:47
Speaker 1: at the Jet Blue counter at the airport, there Slim's
13:50
Speaker 1: waiting on standby to say bye bye. And here's why.
13:56
Speaker 1: The most important thing is, there's no financial incentive devaluing
14:01
Speaker 1: starting pitching. You keep pitching salaries artificially down, and that's
14:06
Speaker 1: good for the business of baseball. You don't have to
14:08
Speaker 1: pay that front line above the marquee starting pitcher big
14:12
Speaker 1: time money, which is important. There's something else going on here,
14:16
Speaker 1: like what would the rule be? Like a number of
14:18
Speaker 1: people have said that from in on. What I've heard
14:21
Speaker 1: scuttle butt is if you were to put a rule in,
14:24
Speaker 1: it would be the starting pitcher has to go at
14:26
Speaker 1: least five innings, and if your starting pitcher comes out
14:31
Speaker 1: prior to that, you lose access to the designated hitter.
14:36
Speaker 1: So if you had Aaron Judge as your designated hitter
14:42
Speaker 1: and dhing that day and then the Yankee pitcher Garrett Cole,
14:47
Speaker 1: went like three and two thirds innings or something like that,
14:50
Speaker 1: and you took Cole out, Judge would have to come
14:52
Speaker 1: out of the game. Now, the counter argument is, well,
14:54
Speaker 1: people pay money to watch Aaron Judge. They don't pay
14:56
Speaker 1: money to watch hit a pitcher hit, and then if
14:58
Speaker 1: pitchers start hitting, it becomes a problem. And then the
15:01
Speaker 1: counter to that is, well, pitchers would never actually hit.
15:03
Speaker 1: You just have to run through your pinch hitters, and
15:06
Speaker 1: you'd have to move players around and all that. And
15:08
Speaker 1: the other thing to remember is that the people who
15:11
Speaker 1: have a choke hold on the game outside of the
15:13
Speaker 1: ownership class, they all reside from the same little village.
15:19
Speaker 1: It's Dorksville, USA. And these are the people responsible for
15:23
Speaker 1: bastardizing starting pitching in baseball. And it's all analytics. And
15:29
Speaker 1: because you can always say anything goes wrong in baseball.
15:33
Speaker 1: In the old days, if you made a decision based
15:36
Speaker 1: on a gut feel and it didn't work out, you
15:39
Speaker 1: would be called out. Oh my god, it's the worst thing.
15:42
Speaker 1: If you make a decision in modern baseball and it
15:46
Speaker 1: doesn't work out, there were these idiots that will sympathize
15:49
Speaker 1: with you so well. They followed the analytics. They did
15:52
Speaker 1: the right thing right, And analytics tells you what has happened,
15:57
Speaker 1: not what's going to happen, and it discounts the human
16:00
Speaker 1: element to arrive at a decision. And that's a big
16:04
Speaker 1: part of the problem with the arithmetic. It is the
16:07
Speaker 1: Ben Mahlor Show as we are working our way through
16:11
Speaker 1: the overnight hours. If you'd like to join us, it's
16:14
Speaker 1: a line open for you at eight seven seven ninety
16:16
Speaker 1: nine on Fox. That's eight seven seven nine nine six
16:20
Speaker 1: sixty three sixty nine. Also on the X Machine at
16:24
Speaker 1: Ben Mahlor. That's at Ben Mahler. If you want to
16:28
Speaker 1: be part of a said program, that's right. I know,
16:33
Speaker 1: I know you're excited. Well. Time now for the Malor
16:36
Speaker 1: Riddle of the Day. That's right, the Mallar Riddle of
16:40
Speaker 1: the day, and it actually involves baseball. So here it is.
16:43
Speaker 1: You can answer this appropriately. On X Aaron Boone said
16:47
Speaker 1: the Yankees had an ice cream truck visit spring training
16:51
Speaker 1: and guys were playing blank Again. Early spring training, Aaron
16:56
Speaker 1: Boone said, the Yankees had an ice cream truck come
16:58
Speaker 1: by and visit the camp for the players, and the
17:00
Speaker 1: guys were playing blank. That is the Mailor Riddle of
17:06
Speaker 1: the day. The answer, We'll get to it and we
17:11
Speaker 1: will do it next.
17:16
Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Mallor
17:18
Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
17:22
Speaker 2: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app.
17:25
Speaker 1: Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Mahler Show
17:28
Speaker 1: up all night, every night podcast every day even on
17:31
Speaker 1: the weekends. The Fifth Hour podcast will be going up
17:33
Speaker 1: later today. And as a listener to the Overnight Hours Live,
17:40
Speaker 1: you have an advantage. What is that advantage? You can
17:43
Speaker 1: actually participate. It is an interactive, all inclusive experience. Now
17:49
Speaker 1: how do you interact? You can call in and have
17:52
Speaker 1: your voice heard on hundreds of radio stations around North
17:55
Speaker 1: America and the world on the American Forces Network. Send
17:59
Speaker 1: a message in on the phones at eight seven, seven
18:01
Speaker 1: ninety nine on Fox. Also on X that's right on Act.
18:06
Speaker 1: You can say hello there at Ben Maller. That's at
18:11
Speaker 1: Ben Mallard. Follow Ben on there and Lorraine Ah gets
18:15
Speaker 1: more male than Santa Claus, FSR tech, Queen FSR Tech,
18:22
Speaker 1: Queen Cooper loop Ah, Bronco fan, that's uh, Bronco fan.
18:28
Speaker 1: Lame jokes coming up later this hour. But now back
18:31
Speaker 1: to Benny Blabermouth. Well are we are blabbering Bill? And
18:36
Speaker 1: right now it is time for the always popular, always
18:42
Speaker 1: stimulating Riddle of the Day. Manager Aaron Boone said the
18:47
Speaker 1: Yankees had an ice cream truck visit spring training and
18:51
Speaker 1: the the guys were able to play blank. That is
18:55
Speaker 1: the riddle of the day. What is the answer to
18:59
Speaker 1: the riddle of the day? Where about to find out?
19:01
Speaker 1: And we'll go to the great Unwashed here to see
19:03
Speaker 1: what they have to say. Johnny Q says, play doctor.
19:08
Speaker 1: Who else do you have? Page down? Checkers? From legally
19:11
Speaker 1: blind Christopher Naked twister tossed out by mister irrigation. That'd
19:15
Speaker 1: be quite the spring training. Yeah. Mark in Santa Monica
19:19
Speaker 1: says they were playing who could eat the most sprinkles?
19:22
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, hopscotch from JT the wing Man trekor Joe
19:28
Speaker 1: must think that we are doing a podcast only and
19:31
Speaker 1: not on the radio if he thinks I can say
19:32
Speaker 1: that on the air. Who else do we have? Page down?
19:35
Speaker 1: The guys were playing practologists with Stevie meatballs. Timothy from
19:43
Speaker 1: Northern Kentucky says chasing each other trying to shove ice
19:46
Speaker 1: cream in each other's noses. Eke in Roseville, Minnesota says
19:50
Speaker 1: they were playing grab ass is what they were doing?
19:53
Speaker 1: Hopscotch from Dante? Who else do we have? Page down?
19:57
Speaker 1: The grill sergeant says the boys were playing automatic baseball
20:01
Speaker 1: inside that new barber shop they have at the Yankee
20:05
Speaker 1: Spring Training Facility. Sig Newton's from King Rory playing marbles
20:12
Speaker 1: tossed out by Jeremy and Minnesota, and we have Andy
20:18
Speaker 1: and Lino Lakes, Minnesota, says Tittley Winks. Is the answer
20:22
Speaker 1: page down page. Kicked the can from Milkman Mike in Colorado.
20:27
Speaker 1: Pin the tail on the Fudgie the whale. That's from
20:31
Speaker 1: Fudgie in Boston. Play Hide and Seek with Jed who
20:35
Speaker 1: fled from Alf. That's that's a good photo of Jed.
20:38
Speaker 1: I don't know how you found that Alf gets out
20:40
Speaker 1: by you. I always find interesting things. Clam rights In says,
20:43
Speaker 1: which family member looks like a cookie or something like that?
20:49
Speaker 1: Playing cribbage for five cents a hole from William h
20:55
Speaker 1: Q Trivia tossed out by late night drug tester for dog.
21:00
Speaker 1: I don't think we can say that. Asher says they
21:02
Speaker 1: were playing Frogger. He's back for the Sony PlayStation. All right,
21:07
Speaker 1: enough of that, Lorena, you're very good at these questions.
21:11
Speaker 1: Do you have an answer, Loraina? Yeah, one of my
21:13
Speaker 1: favorite games hide and go Seek in the dark. Ben
21:17
Speaker 1: Hi didn't go seek in the dark? Is that correct?
21:19
Speaker 1: Let's find out. No, the boys were playing competitive cornhole,
21:26
Speaker 1: competitive cornhole. I am the owner of a corn hole
21:37
Speaker 1: set that you can play cornhole at the Mallord mansion.
21:41
Speaker 1: You never saw that, Loraina, because you did not go
21:42
Speaker 1: in the back. But we did have cornhole set up.
21:45
Speaker 1: But cornhole not as popular as beer pong, much more
21:49
Speaker 1: popular than cornhole. I'm a cornhole guy though. I like
21:53
Speaker 1: the corn hole I do. It's a fun game.
21:55
Speaker 3: I like corn on the cob.
21:58
Speaker 1: You've never played corn hole. It's an easy game.
21:59
Speaker 4: I'm just not good at getting it in.
22:01
Speaker 2: Ben.
22:01
Speaker 1: Okay, that's the problem. I got you, all right. Well, anyway,
22:04
Speaker 1: it is the Ben malersh We're gonna have lame jokes
22:06
Speaker 1: of the week coming up here in a couple of minutes,
22:09
Speaker 1: and we'll go back to the calls right now, and
22:11
Speaker 1: let's see any medie miney mo. Let's say hello to
22:14
Speaker 1: Jason in Calgary. Hello, Jason, welcome, Hey Ben.
22:20
Speaker 3: A nice monologue there. That's like the first first hockey
22:24
Speaker 3: monologue since last spring.
22:26
Speaker 1: I think, yeah. And let me point out, Jason, snobby
22:31
Speaker 1: hockey fans, you shooting talking about hockey. You're not a
22:34
Speaker 1: hockey guy. They're upset with me. They're upset with me
22:38
Speaker 1: for talking hockey. They're yelling at me and the and
22:40
Speaker 1: the messages. They said, what are you doing talking about it?
22:42
Speaker 1: So I can't win? You guys call up and complain
22:44
Speaker 1: I don't talk hockey, and then when I talk hockey,
22:47
Speaker 1: you're complaining I'm talking about hockey. So what am I
22:50
Speaker 1: supposed to do?
22:52
Speaker 3: No? I mean, you put the time in, you practice
22:54
Speaker 3: their names. You got Connor Hellibuck, right, So no, I
22:59
Speaker 3: don't counter.
23:00
Speaker 1: Know hell Buck. Come on, that's a fun name to say.
23:02
Speaker 1: That's a great name.
23:04
Speaker 3: It is. He's a good one. He's a good one.
23:07
Speaker 3: But you know, I could and ask you a question.
23:09
Speaker 3: I don't think this is gonna make Americans start watching
23:14
Speaker 3: hockey anymore than they are right now. I think it
23:17
Speaker 3: is definitely the national national team thing. But you know,
23:22
Speaker 3: I think the biggest thing was the uh the three
23:24
Speaker 3: fights that they had on Saturday night in the first game.
23:28
Speaker 3: I think that got everybody excited.
23:31
Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, and if you loved it, and and it's
23:34
Speaker 1: really a lesson for Gary Bettman in hockey. I know
23:37
Speaker 1: why they got rid of fighting as much as they
23:40
Speaker 1: could because of liability. But you know, that's what the
23:44
Speaker 1: customers want, right, that's what they want. They want that
23:47
Speaker 1: so well yeah.
23:48
Speaker 3: I mean yeah, you know, the two things that make
23:50
Speaker 3: cocky found to get up out of their seats as
23:52
Speaker 3: a goal and a kind a fight. So you know,
23:55
Speaker 3: it's just a game. Is so fast now that you
23:57
Speaker 3: can't really answer that, you know, of those dans and
24:01
Speaker 3: bears on the sitting on the bench waiting to fitting
24:04
Speaker 3: to drop the gloves once it came.
24:06
Speaker 1: So all right, where's the parade? Jason? Do you have
24:10
Speaker 1: a parade? Is it going to come through Calgary?
24:12
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't that big of a deal. I mean,
24:14
Speaker 3: I don't think it was that big. We needed it,
24:16
Speaker 3: we needed it, you know, that Trump, you know, he's
24:19
Speaker 3: really bringing us down. We're like the Canada's like the enemy.
24:22
Speaker 5: Now.
24:23
Speaker 1: No, I don't know where that came from and that
24:25
Speaker 1: yeah Thatt the end, you don't. It's it's all political theater, right,
24:30
Speaker 1: all political theater, it is, in my opinion, I don't know.
24:33
Speaker 1: I don't know who knows. Maybe maybe I.
24:35
Speaker 3: Think, yeah, well maybe they'll get you know, we got
24:38
Speaker 3: some Milan Olympics coming up in twelve months, so you know,
24:42
Speaker 3: hopefully that would get everybody fired up to watch a
24:44
Speaker 3: little bit of hockey, you know, twelve months from now.
24:47
Speaker 3: But I do think this tournament, I think it's kind
24:49
Speaker 3: of winter.
24:50
Speaker 1: You know. You know, you can't you got it. You
24:53
Speaker 1: can't do it every year. It's like one. If you
24:55
Speaker 1: do what every you're a cheap is that you got
24:56
Speaker 1: to pick and obviously they're not doing it next year.
24:58
Speaker 1: You got to pick your spots. So we'll see, we'll
25:01
Speaker 1: see when how often they do it. But he had
25:03
Speaker 1: worked with the timing was perfect. Everything lined up in
25:05
Speaker 1: a row for them, So it's good. Yeah, thank you.
25:08
Speaker 1: All right, boy, there you go. I'll do another. I'll
25:10
Speaker 1: do another hockey monologue during the Olympics. Okay, yeah, all right,
25:15
Speaker 1: get out of here. Let's go to John, who's in Seattle.
25:18
Speaker 1: What's going on? John? Welcome? John is sleepless in Seattle.
25:25
Speaker 5: Listen, please don't hang up.
25:27
Speaker 3: Uh, this is James from Edmonton.
25:31
Speaker 1: Oh this is not This is not John in Seattle.
25:33
Speaker 1: This is James. But well, Edmonton and Seattle very close,
25:37
Speaker 1: unless they're not.
25:38
Speaker 4: I hung up on him because he'd lied to me
25:40
Speaker 4: to get on the air again.
25:41
Speaker 1: No, okay, Uh, let's go to Brad who's in Minnesota. Hello,
25:47
Speaker 1: Brad welcome. Hey, how you doing, Ben Brad? If I
25:52
Speaker 1: was any better, I would be shocked, but not shakiev
25:56
Speaker 1: O'Neill because he said he tested positive for cocaine back
26:00
Speaker 1: in nineteen ninety six, which is fascinating over it.
26:03
Speaker 5: I can I can defend the guy. I mean, you know,
26:08
Speaker 5: he's a big enough guy, can probably defend himself. But
26:11
Speaker 5: this was actually twenty two years ago. On Wednesday, I
26:14
Speaker 5: got caught with some flintstone invite him into my pocket,
26:17
Speaker 5: and so then the courts made me come in and
26:20
Speaker 5: you know, give samples periodically, and I had been following
26:25
Speaker 5: the rules. One yeah, I'm going to test you. And
26:30
Speaker 5: we had to pay for him, and so I did.
26:32
Speaker 5: I come in there and that morning at seven o'clock.
26:35
Speaker 5: That morning, I had had two of the chuck Wagon sandwiches,
26:38
Speaker 5: you know, the great kind you get from the gas
26:41
Speaker 5: station cooler.
26:42
Speaker 1: Sure in the top.
26:45
Speaker 5: At eleven o'clock, I tested and get my test. Didn't
26:49
Speaker 5: think anything of it. Come back in that Monday and
26:51
Speaker 5: they said you gotta come with us. They go why,
26:52
Speaker 5: and they go, well, you tested positive for opiates. I go,
26:55
Speaker 5: what the threshold? What the threshold was? Two hundred was
27:00
Speaker 5: that two nine and hopey, it's only staying your system
27:02
Speaker 5: for about four hours?
27:04
Speaker 1: Is that right front of judge?
27:06
Speaker 5: And I We're in front of the judge, and I says,
27:08
Speaker 5: I go, I told him, what did happen? He goes,
27:09
Speaker 5: you would have to eat so many fopy. I go,
27:11
Speaker 5: you got me in a in a control environment. Now
27:14
Speaker 5: go get me two chuck Wagon sandwiches and tests me
27:16
Speaker 5: four hours later. I picked you off. And they would
27:19
Speaker 5: not do it. I mean, I swear on all the
27:22
Speaker 5: biking super Bowl you don't have any Super Bowl trophies,
27:25
Speaker 5: but what if we had any?
27:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, I swear to God that.
27:29
Speaker 5: I mean, I was playing by the rules.
27:31
Speaker 1: And I got, well that's all. That's all right. Well
27:34
Speaker 1: you see you're Minnesota, nice guy, right, the damn chuck
27:38
Speaker 1: the chuck Wagons, they took advantage of the chuck Wagon
27:41
Speaker 1: sandwiches took advantage of you. It's not right, all right?
27:44
Speaker 1: So you think, well listen, so we have Now I
27:47
Speaker 1: want you to know we have conflicting reports here because
27:50
Speaker 1: again that people are saying that you know, the shack's wrong,
27:53
Speaker 1: and now you're saying, well, this happened to me, so
27:56
Speaker 1: he's not wrong. And I decide size either.
28:01
Speaker 5: But I'm you know, I'm six one twenty probably at
28:04
Speaker 5: the time I was, and so I mean I'm not
28:07
Speaker 5: nearly Steck size, you know, eat more.
28:09
Speaker 1: But uh yeah, maybe Shaq was eating the chuck Wagon.
28:12
Speaker 1: Yeah he said he was poppy seed muffins. But I
28:15
Speaker 1: maybe he went to the gas station in Atlanta and
28:17
Speaker 1: picked up some some chuck Wagon sandwiches. All right, well,
28:20
Speaker 1: thank you, you've defended Shaquill O'Neil. Thank you, and uh
28:23
Speaker 1: there you go. That's funny. And they would not allow
28:26
Speaker 1: him to to eat the chuck Wagon sandwiches and come back,
28:30
Speaker 1: would not. All right, let's see who else do we
28:33
Speaker 1: have pay out about? That is weed Man there by
28:37
Speaker 1: the way for lame jokes. Do we have him ready
28:39
Speaker 1: to go or oh he is? All right, he is there,
28:41
Speaker 1: very nice. I want to bring him on right now.
28:42
Speaker 1: We'll get that party started. Ello weed Man in Miami.
28:48
Speaker 1: Yeahs up, weed Man? A're you okay? So like you're busy,
28:53
Speaker 1: you're futting around with the phone everything? All right? No, boy,
29:02
Speaker 1: weed Man, you're I wanted to start the segment earlier.
29:04
Speaker 1: You're not ready to start with I feel like you're
29:08
Speaker 1: not ready. I feel like you're you're you sure about that?
29:13
Speaker 3: Yeah?
29:14
Speaker 1: You outside? Yeah? How many people do you have? His roommates?
29:20
Speaker 5: Oh, get me out of here, Ben, please get me
29:24
Speaker 5: no place to live?
29:26
Speaker 1: What do you got three, three or four people you
29:27
Speaker 1: live with?
29:28
Speaker 2: Well?
29:29
Speaker 1: Sure, I can't stand this.
29:31
Speaker 5: One guy is here. I just can't stand you.
29:33
Speaker 2: Just get me out of you. Get me a place
29:34
Speaker 2: to live.
29:36
Speaker 1: No, that's easy, Sure, no problem, all right, h let's uh,
29:40
Speaker 1: let's get the parties. We'll do some lizo jokes. Hit
29:42
Speaker 1: the button in.
29:45
Speaker 2: Knock knock, who's there? Blame we blame we too.
29:48
Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week. Then away
29:52
Speaker 1: we go on lame jokes of the week with weed
29:54
Speaker 1: Man hippies in Miami. His your name is Billy Blanks,
29:57
Speaker 1: but he goes by weed Man Hippie. Is that correct
29:59
Speaker 1: weed Man?
30:00
Speaker 2: Yes?
30:01
Speaker 1: Yes, because years ago there was this workout guy named
30:05
Speaker 1: Billy Blanks who became very famous. Yeah, he stole your name. Yeah,
30:13
Speaker 1: And I did get some messages on social media that
30:17
Speaker 1: I get this. Every so often. There's a company that
30:20
Speaker 1: does garden care called weed Man, and people they love it.
30:24
Speaker 1: They think of you when they see the weed Man logo.
30:27
Speaker 1: In the back of the truck. Yeah, all right, here
30:30
Speaker 1: we go.
30:31
Speaker 3: Uh.
30:31
Speaker 1: These are actual jokes by actual listeners. First one from
30:33
Speaker 1: Frank and Fargo. He says, what did Lizzo's new boyfriend
30:37
Speaker 1: get her for Valentine's Day? What a certified truck scale? Well,
30:48
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't know this. But why is
30:51
Speaker 1: Luca Donzig a big fan of Lizzo? Why well, he
30:56
Speaker 1: actually gained all the weight that she lost, so big news. No,
31:00
Speaker 1: that's George, Georgie and Uvaldi. What Eastern European country did
31:08
Speaker 1: Lizzo trace her ancestors too? What bulge area? I thought
31:19
Speaker 1: it was hungry. No, well that's that's Chip. That was
31:25
Speaker 1: Chip and Mane. What nickname does Lizzo give to the bathroom?
31:30
Speaker 1: What the Department of Labor? That's Drew. Why was Lizzo
31:38
Speaker 1: disappointed her new boyfriend could not actually cook? Why well,
31:42
Speaker 1: it turns out on his dating profile it said he
31:45
Speaker 1: was pan sexual. That's Eric in Camp.
31:51
Speaker 3: All right.
31:52
Speaker 1: Why is Disney changing the lyrics to the song It's
31:55
Speaker 1: a small world after all? Why so they can be
32:00
Speaker 1: more inclusive and hire Lizzo to write and perform the
32:03
Speaker 1: news song. It's a fat world after all? That's Benny.
32:09
Speaker 1: Benny Brightside set that one in how much weight has
32:13
Speaker 1: Lizzo lost? How much she's lost so much that she
32:17
Speaker 1: is now known as less so ekeon Roseville, Minnesota. Got
32:26
Speaker 1: any jokes over there, Coop?
32:28
Speaker 4: What do Ben Maller in a toilet have in common?
32:32
Speaker 4: H okay, ferd dog drops his pants for both?
32:41
Speaker 1: Was a loser from Australia? That's something.
32:44
Speaker 4: Wally and Tulsa.
32:47
Speaker 1: A loser? Wally, you schmuck. I'm gonna find you, Wally,
32:50
Speaker 1: I'm gonna track you down. Did you hear the judge
32:52
Speaker 1: throughout Hefty Destroit rapper Dank Demo's lawsuit against Lyft No, Yeah,
33:00
Speaker 1: lifts lawyers told the judge if she doesn't fit, you
33:03
Speaker 1: must have quit and worked out. So that's Joe and
33:08
Speaker 1: Virginia Beach. Thank you Joe. All right, we'll pause for
33:10
Speaker 1: the cause. Are you Are you still okay? Weed Man,
33:12
Speaker 1: We'll do another segment of jokes, right, this is your
33:14
Speaker 1: dream come true. We got a bunch of weed Man
33:18
Speaker 1: jokes other random jokes as well. These are actual jokes
33:21
Speaker 1: in and my actual listeners. If you would like to
33:23
Speaker 1: send a joke in for a future episode of the show.
33:25
Speaker 1: You can do that care of Benmahler's show at gmail
33:29
Speaker 1: dot com. That's Benmahlor Show at gmail dot com. Lame
33:34
Speaker 1: jokes of the week. The comedy club is still open
33:37
Speaker 1: open mic night. We'll get to it. We'll do it next.
33:40
Speaker 2: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
33:42
Speaker 2: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
33:46
Speaker 1: Lie the Lie, Today's Friday, Today's Friday, Today's Friday. Man,
33:57
Speaker 1: that's a plump pussy right there. Jerk yourself away. Give
34:00
Speaker 1: me a little taste of that dick. I love you.
34:04
Speaker 1: Don't worry.
34:05
Speaker 3: Don't worry. It's just tay the top.
34:07
Speaker 1: Oh yes, yes, yes, that's our path. That's twenty five
34:12
Speaker 1: thousand dollars our pack. Ben Mallard, the show is over. Goodbye,
34:21
Speaker 1: Bill Miller and you. It is the Ben Maler Show,
34:25
Speaker 1: up all night, every single night. And don't forget about
34:31
Speaker 1: the podcast. That's right. Every little morsel, every little morsel
34:38
Speaker 1: of this show is available via the podcast to be
34:42
Speaker 1: going up shortly after we get done. If you missed
34:43
Speaker 1: any of the latest episode, be sure to check out
34:45
Speaker 1: the podcast to search mallor wherever you get your pods
34:49
Speaker 1: and be sure to follow, rate and review the podcast again.
34:52
Speaker 1: Just search mallord m A L L E R. Wherever
34:54
Speaker 1: you get your podcast. You'll see the latest episode posted
34:58
Speaker 1: right after we get off the air. All right, it's
35:07
Speaker 1: Bill's bed and we bet you there weed Man, weed Man, hippie.
35:12
Speaker 1: All right, what's your line? Weed Man? That's his line.
35:18
Speaker 1: We should put that on T shirts. We man, we'd
35:20
Speaker 1: do it. We need a drawing of you and then
35:23
Speaker 1: we need that on the shirt. People will buy that.
35:25
Speaker 1: They'd sell a ton of those things, right, make me laugh.
35:28
Speaker 1: Remember that drawing you had on on X of you?
35:31
Speaker 1: That would be perfect, right, yeah, cartoon weed Man. But
35:35
Speaker 1: you're not on X anymore?
35:36
Speaker 5: Right, No, which I gotta get back on.
35:40
Speaker 1: You could start a new account. They're free. All right,
35:42
Speaker 1: here we go. What does Doc Mike yell when he
35:46
Speaker 1: sees Luka doncic in Laker gold? What he yells?
35:53
Speaker 3: Kool aid?
35:54
Speaker 1: That's Tony in the Bay Did you hear after his
36:01
Speaker 1: religious Super Bowl prediction, weed Man has a new nickname.
36:05
Speaker 1: I what, Yes, you're now known as crack pipe Hippie.
36:09
Speaker 1: That's from Tony in the Bay Area. What happened the
36:15
Speaker 1: last time someone told weed Man to pump the brakes.
36:19
Speaker 1: What weed Man ended up with? Skid marks? Skid marks,
36:24
Speaker 1: that's a surfer Todd. We gotta get surfer Todd back
36:28
Speaker 1: in studio. I love Server Time's wife, good people, and
36:31
Speaker 1: he's a comedian. He goes around and performs. He's a
36:34
Speaker 1: surfing he's a surfing comedian. Thus the nickname. What is
36:37
Speaker 1: the only ring that weed Man can't seem to lose?
36:42
Speaker 1: What the ring around the bathtub? That's chip in ringworms.
36:57
Speaker 1: He's already he's already got that. But no, this guy,
36:59
Speaker 1: mister irrigations the ring benefactor and we've been got worn
37:02
Speaker 1: and they lost it.
37:04
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm supposed to tell you Ben to keep an
37:08
Speaker 4: eye out for an email from him.
37:10
Speaker 1: By the way, Okay, why did all right, why did
37:13
Speaker 1: weed Man hip it's not about you? Why did we
37:16
Speaker 1: Man hipp Ea cheer when his old boss yelled at him?
37:21
Speaker 1: Why because your old boss said you'll never work in
37:24
Speaker 1: this town again. And you said, yeah, that's right, that's
37:29
Speaker 1: Eric in Kansas, and you'd hear the laugh track. But
37:32
Speaker 1: for some reason, you know, did you hear that weed
37:34
Speaker 1: Man was given an award?
37:36
Speaker 5: Why?
37:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, apparently you repurposed your old science projects into
37:41
Speaker 1: a home. That's true in Minnesota to the laugh track there,
37:48
Speaker 1: it is all right, but it broke there for seeing
37:51
Speaker 1: these jokes are so funny. The laugh track broke. What
37:53
Speaker 1: stamp collection is bigger than the US Postal Service stamp collection?
37:58
Speaker 1: What weed Man hippie's food stamp collection? That's a that's
38:03
Speaker 1: a good joke. That's a that's a solid joke from
38:07
Speaker 1: But Gordon's been sending me jokes. Jordan in Tacoma for
38:10
Speaker 1: so many years. What a great support of the show.
38:13
Speaker 1: He is, all right? Dion Sanders said he doesn't need
38:17
Speaker 1: to visit recruits and have a meal at their home
38:20
Speaker 1: to get them to come to Colorado. How about that one? Really? Yeah?
38:24
Speaker 1: He said the food doesn't go to waste. Dion said
38:29
Speaker 1: he's offered, Uh, he's offered to help. But weed Man
38:32
Speaker 1: is offered to help the recruits. So you're gonna go
38:34
Speaker 1: refruit for Colorado? Weed Man? Is that right?
38:36
Speaker 5: Definitely right?
38:38
Speaker 1: As George in Rochester, Minnesota, I may or may not
38:40
Speaker 1: have screwed that up. Did you hear about the joke?
38:43
Speaker 1: Shut up? All right, it's overnight radio. What do you want?
38:47
Speaker 1: Did did you hear about Luca and his new endorsement deal.
38:52
Speaker 1: No what yes, Big News here were the only show
38:55
Speaker 1: that has this. According to George and Ubaldi, Pillsburray has
38:58
Speaker 1: hired him as the new Doble. So he's the new
39:01
Speaker 1: Doe boy. That's kind of cute. Actually, did you hear
39:07
Speaker 1: that weed Man is starting a new nonprofit What? Yeah,
39:13
Speaker 1: it's called non Workaholics Anonymous. That's a good joke. That's
39:21
Speaker 1: our buddy Eric in Kansas. So it has also been
39:24
Speaker 1: with the show for many, many years. Just live in
39:26
Speaker 1: Iowa's get ties to La? What did Luca? What did
39:31
Speaker 1: Lucas say after hearing Robbie the Mariner fans pizza order?
39:36
Speaker 1: What Lucas said, hold my beer is what he said.
39:39
Speaker 1: That's Tony and the Bar. Who did judge Judy Fank
39:45
Speaker 1: for watching her show over the NBA All Star Game?
39:49
Speaker 3: Who?
39:50
Speaker 1: Eddie Garcia? That's a chip in Maine? Well, this is
39:55
Speaker 1: an offensive joke. Levart Ball had his right foot amputated
39:58
Speaker 1: sadly recent that crazy? Yeah, so what what what genre
40:03
Speaker 1: of music does he credit for a successful rehab?
40:06
Speaker 3: What?
40:07
Speaker 1: Hip hop?
40:11
Speaker 3: There?
40:11
Speaker 1: It is lame jokes? So how's Betty Bryside. Lame jokes
40:14
Speaker 1: of the Week