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KYLIE THE LESBIAN VIRGIN - SHE GOT THAT CHERRY POPPED! · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:10
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:13
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and I have with me Kylie the
0:17
lesbian. Hi.
0:21
They know you as Kylie the Lesbian.
0:23
They. Do Kylie the virgin lesbian?
0:25
It's it's known now. It is known.
0:28
It is very known it. Is known the myth, the legend?
0:34
Who is coming to the mic for one specific reason?
0:38
So drum roll. So Kylie is.
0:44
Not a virgin anymore when? I called Kylie, she texts me
0:48
this today, in fact, and you text me and I was like, whoa,
0:53
wait a minute. I can't visually read this.
0:56
I've got to hear it with my own ear to the phone.
1:00
And I called you and I said, wait a minute, what was this?
1:03
An actual man penis? And you're like, yes, I.
1:10
Texted it and I was like she would like to know and fun fact
1:14
I've been holding on to this information for a little bit and
1:16
I was like OK the next time I see Mia I'm gonna let her know.
1:20
But then I was like you know what I'm just gonna text it And
1:22
so I texted her. Side note, felt like you would
1:27
want to know. No longer the lesbian virgin.
1:31
I get a text that just says go. This is no way with like 4
1:34
exclamation points and then I get a phone call and I start
1:37
laughing so hard because I'm literally about to text it back
1:41
and text up the bag and she calls.
1:43
She's like, no, I, I had to call for this one.
1:45
I did. I was like an actual man penis
1:48
because when you talked about this before, like, Oh yeah, I
1:52
get a freeway watching college and I'm like, OK, it was a
1:55
dildo. Shut the fuck up.
1:57
Dildos are not the same. And you know, Barbie and I did
2:01
an episode the other day, I posted it and she and I were
2:05
talking about I always tease her, tease Barbie because I'm
2:09
like size queen. She's like, am I really a size
2:12
queen? I'm like Barbie, you have a 13
2:15
inch like manhandler Dick dildo and she's like, but come on, you
2:21
know, like no big deal. She actually whipped it out in
2:27
front of someone who has a fucking sex store and she's
2:30
like, wait a minute, was that was that the new Doc Johnson?
2:33
And she said, you know, sure. Yeah, that's what I have.
2:38
That's great. I love that for Barbie.
2:40
Yes, and mine is not that big. I will say mine are lower than
2:45
that. But, you know, goals, goals.
2:48
She says she does have smaller ones.
2:50
She says they're not all big, but I think all women are like
2:54
that because I was talking to Layla London.
2:57
She does the Curious Girl Diary podcast and she's like, she
3:02
saves the big one. Her like her big one for just a
3:06
wild night. She's like, yeah, I'll just, I
3:08
break out the big one because, you know, I don't want to
3:10
stretch my pussy out too much. Right.
3:12
Like that's the main reason that I haven't like gotten too big
3:15
because I'm like, I'll stick with this 9 because like, yeah,
3:18
it's thick, but you know, later down the line I might want
3:23
thicker and I don't want to be ruined.
3:25
You know, like what if it doesn't bounce back like you got
3:29
do kegels? Like you sit I.
3:31
Do, but it's not do the bigger you get.
3:34
I'm telling you, you got it. You just suck in the kegels.
3:36
You squeeze, squeeze, squeeze that vagina, you know, like
3:41
sitting here right now. I'm squeezing.
3:42
Come on, you know. I know so many things about Mia
3:45
guys that I don't want to know. Like y'all hear some stuff but
3:49
y'all don't know this shit she talks about when y'all aren't
3:53
there. Well, fuck you too, Kylie.
3:59
All right, so I got to know. I got to know about this Dick.
4:03
OK, so was it so good that you're like, OK, I'm no longer a
4:07
virgin. I'm no longer a lesbian.
4:10
I'm a little personal, no, OK, look, it was not as bad as I
4:15
thought it was going to be, but it was not as good as me.
4:18
It makes it look seemed like, like she made it seem like it
4:21
was the Holy Grail and I'm over here like that.
4:24
Great. It really didn't remind me much
4:27
difference of a dildo when it was actually inside me.
4:29
However, I will say that giving a VJ is completely different
4:33
from a dildo. Completely different and about
4:36
10 times better. I will admit, I'll probably end
4:39
up doing that again. Yeah, that's a star.
4:41
I don't know so much about the vaginal.
4:42
We'll see. The feeling of it coming inside
4:44
you is completely different from a dildo in this aspect of it
4:47
actually. Like you can feel it, it dildo,
4:49
it pulls out hard. It's it's it's hard in and out.
4:52
It just comes out hard. Yeah, men don't do that.
4:55
No, I was not prepared for that. I was, I was not mentally
4:58
prepared at all for that whatsoever.
5:01
I was like, he was like, are you OK?
5:04
And I'm like, no, no, I'm not. This is weird.
5:09
Yeah, it's different, isn't it? It's.
5:11
Completely different I'm. Like, Oh my God.
5:13
I've had some people, someone I'm just like, how do women do
5:15
this all the time? Like I'm just like, how do you
5:17
feel that all the time and not be completely grossed out?
5:20
I don't get it. I haven't figured it out.
5:21
So the the actual semen grossed you out.
5:24
No, the getting it, the coming out soft is what grossed me out.
5:27
That was that was a gross feeling.
5:28
I was like OK so kindly. School.
5:32
Yeah, Lesbian. Conclusion Still lesbian for.
5:38
Sure, lesbian. OK, but here's the deal.
5:40
Not all men do that. Not all men go soft after they
5:44
come. Some men, even after they have
5:47
an orgasm, they're hard and they stay hard.
5:49
So that I'm just throwing that out there that all men are
5:53
different. So when doing interviews, I need
5:56
to know if you stay hard after you orgasm because if not, you
6:00
cannot go in there because that was disgusting and I'll never do
6:02
that again or they'll. Have to pull out before they
6:04
have an orgasm or that they go flaccid, yeah.
6:06
Or that Either way, yeah. But we ain't doing that again.
6:09
That was gross. OK, all right, all right.
6:14
If you could see this. Face right?
6:20
It's like you've got something like bad, like a, like a live
6:24
octopus in your mouth. You know, you're like, yeah,
6:27
like what came out of my fussy. So gross.
6:33
I was like it was so gross. Had it went out, had it came out
6:37
hard, it was probably would have been fine.
6:38
But when it came out South, I was like how do women do this
6:40
all the time? I don't how do women do this all
6:42
the time? Like how do men?
6:43
I can't. It didn't go on my butt, but I
6:45
cannot imagine it being in my butt like that would have been.
6:47
I don't think I could have survived.
6:48
I think I would have had to walk out.
6:49
I think that would have been. In all right, so you're gonna
6:52
walk me through this a little bit because I I don't
6:54
necessarily need the visual, but I just need.
6:57
You want the visual but. I do.
6:58
I want a visual. I want, I want to understand.
7:03
From pictures or it didn't happen.
7:04
Listen, listen, if if you fucked a hot 20 something year old,
7:09
which by the way, like my number, it must be 28 because I
7:12
have had so many fucking 28 year olds in the last month come
7:16
flocking to Mia and be like Mistress Mia, I want to be your
7:20
personal slave. And I'm like fuck, maybe.
7:22
So yes, you know, because 21, hey, 18 or older, I'm good.
7:28
I'm not. I'm not talking about you.
7:29
Talk about me. Oh.
7:29
About you Oh. If they ain't thirty, I mean it,
7:33
the lowest I will go is 27. If they ain't 27 or up, I.
7:37
Come on, Kylie, listen to me. Listen.
7:40
I need them older. No.
7:42
I do. Listen, they can be mentally
7:44
older, like my husband's like a grandpa mentally, but let me
7:48
tell you, fucks like a fucking racehorse.
7:50
And that's what I'm saying. You get a young guy who's man he
7:54
is popping that shit and he has got stamina and he wants to come
7:59
like 3 times in a row without getting soft.
8:01
Fuck yeah, that's what you need, young fucking bull.
8:04
Just saying. Kylie is looking at me like she
8:06
is so uncomfortable right now. I don't do younger ever.
8:12
I'm 2427 is about as young as I'm getting.
8:15
That is as close to my age range as I'm getting.
8:17
Oh my gosh. 30 and up is preferred.
8:21
Listen, I'm. Glad you got a real deck.
8:23
That's what I'm happy about. That's what I'm happy about.
8:25
OK, so did you, did you write it or did you get fucked from
8:28
behind? What were the positions here?
8:30
All of the above. All of the above.
8:33
OK, right on, right on. So did you like?
8:35
Writing the deck that I came in here last time and I told you I
8:38
don't ride and that's because riding a dildo is incredibly
8:41
complicated. Hersa legs not at all fun.
8:44
OK, sure it's not, but then a real one that is 10 times harder
8:48
then riding a dildo. I was like, why are people doing
8:51
this when they have dildos? It's just as hard.
8:53
It's actually harder because that thing's like, it's like, no
8:55
things are. Backwards cowgirl.
8:58
We tried, I couldn't. We couldn't get it in OK, we
9:01
couldn't. We couldn't figure.
9:02
Out. So you need a bigger Dick then?
9:05
I mean I always need them bigger.
9:10
Like it's Helle. Figures, figures always better
9:15
God. Yeah, I trust me.
9:18
Trust me, I've seen a big Dick this past week and I was like.
9:24
I don't feel that way when I've seen it, but OK.
9:26
Yeah, no, you hadn't seen the right Dick.
9:28
I'm just saying we need you need to expand the horizon.
9:32
And yeah, the next event we go to, I will scream through some
9:38
cocks, men. I'm just saying.
9:42
Now you're. Looking at me like what?
9:44
Yeah. All right, so this is a good
9:48
Dick for you to try this one. Just.
9:52
Go through the list I want do a lineup.
9:54
Fuck yeah, do a fucking lineup they want to fuck.
9:57
They're going to show me their goddamn Dicks.
10:00
Like, don't hold back your laughter.
10:02
You're fucking laughing your ass up.
10:03
Laugh at that shit. I'm just telling you, you want a
10:07
guy who has shaved, you know, or at least trimmed everything and
10:14
you don't want hairy balls. Men, women do not like hairy
10:18
balls. It's like sucking on wire.
10:20
No one likes it. You look at me funny again.
10:24
Why are you? Putting the balls in.
10:26
Mouth because sometimes men like their balls in your mouth.
10:30
People have bought Yes, yes. I'm still a lesbian guy.
10:34
I just want it's like. Putting pussy lips in your
10:39
mouth. That is not the same thing.
10:41
Well, that's what men are. I mean men.
10:43
Men are butts. A man's Dick is a clit and their
10:51
surrounding is yes, you know, you got the labia.
10:55
Just saying just. Saying the cooter fell out.
11:00
And you know, I mean, you're fucking chicks and sometimes
11:02
there's some pretty ugly pussies out there.
11:05
Like I've seen a fucking lot of ugly pussies on Fat Life.
11:08
They are all beautiful in their own ways.
11:10
Oh my God, shut up, lesbian. Anyway, that's what I say about
11:15
this. I can hear on opposing side.
11:21
I'm advocate for the cops. But anyway, for women.
11:25
I know you're advocate for women.
11:27
That's OK. You're only 8% of my listeners.
11:32
Well. That's why you put lesbians on.
11:33
I know. Draw the crowd.
11:35
Yes, all the men want to hear what the aspects of a lesbian
11:39
life and their sex life is about.
11:41
So true story the other day I had people, I guess I post
11:44
video, post stuff on fat life all the time and I got and I get
11:48
messages from men quite frequently and a lot of them I
11:50
just immediately tell them like I'm all the way gay.
11:53
No chance some will leave me alone.
11:55
Someone be like, oh, let's just talk and be friends or whatever.
11:58
Some will later down the line try, but I had one the other day
12:01
that was very direct. He's like, I understand you're a
12:03
lesbian, which it's always going to be interesting when they
12:05
start with I know you're a lesbian because it's either
12:08
going to be something super sexual or just something stupid
12:10
or funny. This was one of the funny ones.
12:12
He goes, I know you're a lesbian, but I was wondering if
12:14
I could send you a picture of my cock.
12:15
And I was like, I'm all the way gay, honey, I don't look at
12:18
those. And he goes, oh, I just wanted
12:19
to see what a lesbian thought of it.
12:21
And I was like, I'm gonna tell you right now.
12:22
Don't show true lesbians your Dick randomly because they will
12:27
hurt your feelings. He did ask.
12:29
Like I said, he was one of the funny ones.
12:30
He wasn't one of the more inappropriate ones.
12:33
But I will say on Fat Life, I don't get a whole lot of
12:35
unsolicited Dick pics. I think one or two maybe, but
12:38
very few, very few, which is minus the profile pictures which
12:43
you know. Yeah, yeah.
12:46
You know, I think that there's certain men who know how to be
12:50
artistic, you know, with their genitals and those are the kinds
12:55
you appreciate. But when you have and honestly,
12:58
women are the same way because I mean, I really, I don't think
13:02
all pussies are pretty. I mean, I think there's some
13:05
that are really nice, but there's somewhere they think
13:08
it's cool to like spread everything.
13:10
And I don't want to look inside their vaginal hole.
13:12
I don't want to see what their walls of their vagina look like.
13:16
I don't want to see what their asshole looks like Spread and
13:20
I'm not yuck and Yum so OK I'm just saying I don't want to see
13:24
it. Yeah, I just.
13:25
You know, I just don't and so I'll mute them because I don't
13:28
want to see it. Same thing with the dude and he
13:31
is just and if guy is unattractive and he posts a
13:34
picture and it's like hairy balls, you know, gut hanging out
13:38
laying in bed like, you know, I look in there, you know, but
13:43
again, if you can only see Patty.
13:45
'S face right now. I'm just saying there's men that
13:49
think it's OK that, you know, women want to see this and they
13:52
just don't, you know, But I often tell dudes I'm like, look,
13:55
if you're over 40 and you've never been married, there's a
13:58
reason. And usually it's a personality
14:01
issue and that you have no game, you know, I'm just saying.
14:05
Yeah. And, and nine times out of 10,
14:07
if they're showing stupid pictures on fat, again, there's
14:11
a reason why you're saying, and I love all men, but I'm just
14:14
saying there's a reason why you're not married.
14:16
There's a reason why you're not in a committed relationship.
14:18
Not but also you got to remember that not everyone wants to be
14:20
married or be in a committed relationship.
14:22
All men want to have some type of relationship because they
14:25
need a woman to guide them. All men do, I'm telling.
14:28
You interesting? I don't know enough about men,
14:29
so I'm going to take your word for it.
14:32
Bitch, I'm the queen of this shit, you know this.
14:34
I know it's possible to take your word for it.
14:38
Yeah, I mean men are lost puppy dogs and a.
14:42
Sweet man to the Memonium. It is.
14:45
When I learn how to speak English, you're.
14:47
OK. But, you know, and it's a sweet
14:49
concept, Yeah. Like I said, if they're lost in
14:52
life, they need a strong woman to help them, you know, either
14:55
be supportive or lead them or guide them, you know?
14:58
It's a sweet concept. Yeah, I mean, they come out of
15:00
their mama's womb and they're still trying to crawl up into
15:03
another. Another one.
15:04
I'm just saying. I'm just saying I'm doing the
15:07
same thing I mean. You want to get back in Mama's
15:11
womb? Not hers, but I mean I wouldn't
15:13
mind getting in a couple. I mean if I think I could reach
15:18
that farms. Where do you see yourself?
15:22
At this point, you're. Because you're ready to explore
15:24
with other men. I am I, I'm ready to explore
15:27
with other men. I've been thinking about
15:29
exploring other men as far as aspects of playing for about two
15:31
months now. I was like, let's try men out.
15:34
Let's let's, let's see how that area plays.
15:37
And I mean, I am mostly submissive.
15:39
So I was like, obviously we're gonna have to find more dominant
15:41
men, but there's a lot of submissive men out there too.
15:44
And my brain just goes, you know, that's a man at my beck
15:46
and call. It is.
15:47
I'm just might have to start trying that.
15:50
But it's also like, it's not that I'm necessarily new to
15:52
topping. It's just that I'm a little bit
15:54
more new to like the domination part of it.
15:56
But I know the skills. It's more of like, I'm still a
15:59
little nervous because I don't know how they'll respond because
16:01
what if they decide to not listen?
16:04
What if they decide, you know, I still have that big fear of
16:07
that. But I will say that I'm less
16:08
afraid of the Dick now at least. OK, so back up to you're afraid
16:12
to dominate a man because you're afraid he's not going to listen,
16:14
right? He's not going to listen.
16:16
You kick his ass out and that's how simple it is.
16:19
You don't want to cooperate with me.
16:20
Get the fuck. Out.
16:21
That's it. I don't know that I have the
16:22
balls for that bitch you. Gotta have balls.
16:25
You gotta have balls if you're eating pussy all the fucking
16:28
time, OK? I'm just saying don't be
16:31
intimidated by man. That's not how life it is.
16:34
Don't be in fear of the rejection of them not listening.
16:37
To you, and I mean. Male Subs are like female Subs,
16:41
right? Yeah.
16:41
They want attention when they want it.
16:43
They're needy and when they're horny, God forbid, you just have
16:46
to accommodate them otherwise they're going to whine like a
16:49
little bitch. Yep, that's yeah.
16:51
That's how sub is, right? Yeah, yeah.
16:54
Yeah, that's very true. Like I said, I've never
16:56
actually, I still haven't actually had an experience with
16:59
a male sub. I mean, I've talked to one or
17:01
two like on Fed, but I had one that was going to go pretty far
17:04
and then one that I really, really considered it.
17:06
But then I was just like, no, but I haven't actually had like
17:09
met up with 1 yet thus far. I probably will at some point,
17:12
but I don't. It's just like trying to get
17:14
over the intimidation of men and being alone with a man, you
17:17
know, in that aspect and like fear that he won't listen to
17:20
fear. The boundaries were
17:20
disrespected. And I mean, I have the same fear
17:22
with women, but I guess I'm just so used to women that like, it's
17:26
like, I'm not afraid to tell him to fuck off, you know?
17:29
I'm not afraid of what they're going to do, but I am still very
17:31
afraid of what a man would do if I tell them to just fuck off.
17:34
I think is the big thing. It's just lack of experience.
17:36
OK, well here's the thing to weigh out.
17:39
So there's two types of male Subs.
17:41
There's the genuine kind who are willing to be cooperative and
17:47
act like an adult and follow through with what they say.
17:51
Yeah, it's just a man's integrity.
17:53
But if they're not, then they're the opposite.
17:56
They basically just want to use you for sex, use you for what
18:00
they can get, and then they'll leave.
18:03
Yeah. You know, but what it all boils
18:05
down to is you can't be in fear of rejection.
18:10
You have to say you are the shit, because what man doesn't
18:13
want to fuck a woman who is pretty much a virgin still, you
18:17
know? Yeah, And if he takes advantage
18:19
of that, then fuck him. You don't need him.
18:21
That's. True, that's.
18:22
It I'm telling you, I've been with over 1000 men.
18:25
I know. I know how this works.
18:28
And men, I love men, but they're fucking stupid.
18:30
They're stupid. They think with their Dick, but
18:33
either they listen or they don't.
18:34
And if you remember when you and I talked about this after the
18:37
last party, you were gracious enough.
18:39
You came over, you helped me. We had a great afternoon.
18:41
We're talking, and I said, you know, if you've never been with
18:45
a man before, you should probably find a man who is a
18:47
submissive, someone who's sweet and kind and has feminine
18:51
aspects to him. Yeah, yeah, I'm telling.
18:53
You that's that's a good route to take and you'll be amazed at
18:58
some of the submissive men that you might find that you'll click
19:01
with 'cause you wanna click with somebody.
19:03
Yeah, before you fuck em. Obviously.
19:05
Yeah, yeah, I don't. I get the point.
19:07
Yeah, you get the point. I have just been like, you wanna
19:10
fuck? And we did.
19:11
But you know. And you could always meet
19:13
somebody here in the dungeon. I don't come.
19:15
First dungeon. Do what I don't.
19:17
Come to the dungeon very often. No, my dungeon.
19:19
Oh yeah, my. Dungeon if you say, hey, me, I'm
19:22
I'm what? I want to meet this guy off
19:24
that. You know, if you don't want to
19:25
meet him out in public at a coffee, I'll, you know, I'll be
19:27
the third person. You can come bring him over to
19:29
the dungeon. You can sit and talk and go from
19:32
there. OK.
19:32
Yeah, I appreciate. That yeah, you don't have to be
19:34
intimidated to go meet anybody, 'cause I know it's intimidating,
19:37
'cause you're a small stature woman.
19:39
Yes, yes, I'm very. Little Yeah, you're I get it.
19:43
I've done that for some of my friends.
19:44
I'm like, yeah, come on, we'll meet by the pool.
19:46
Yeah, you know, keep it casual. Yeah, eventually we'll see.
19:51
We'll see where it leads. Definitely gonna definitely like
19:53
the blowjob things 100% gonna be happening at some point.
19:56
Like that's not even a question. The sub we'll see, but.
19:59
Do you like second deck? Yes, that was yeah, that was
20:03
great. That was great.
20:04
It was fantastic at the women are like it's so gross.
20:06
I'm like, no, it's not no, it's not.
20:08
See, I've done it with dildos before and like I love doing it
20:11
on dildos. Like my favorite way to do it.
20:12
Like one of my favorite like rewards to get is to like Neil
20:16
and rice and suck, suck a dildo. My my preferred dildo.
20:19
Yeah, it's like my favorite reward to get, but a real Dick
20:23
completely different. It is and, and now I've
20:27
experienced like the side of them controlling my head because
20:31
it was dominant, obviously of them controlling my head and
20:34
like the autopilot, which was that was great.
20:37
Just like my brain shutting down just autopilot.
20:38
That was fantastic. And then now I'm like, OK,
20:42
let's, let's try it to someone who is going to let me
20:45
completely decide what I want to do and how I want to do it.
20:48
You know, like let me be in control of the pleasure
20:50
basically. And I'm very interested to try
20:53
that. That will be happening at some
20:54
point. So did you start sucking the
20:56
stick when it's hard or soft? The first time it was hard
20:59
before I put it in my mouth and then later after he came in my
21:03
mouth we took a break and then I talked about it was soft and got
21:05
it hard again. So I've done it both ways now
21:07
seemed. Not exciting.
21:08
The growing was weird. I will say the soft thing is
21:12
weird. That's just weird to me.
21:14
It doesn't look. It looks weird.
21:15
It feels weird. Yeah, it's different.
21:17
It's weird. It's not different.
21:19
It's weird, it's weird. There's all this excess skin and
21:23
it's just, it's, it's weird. It looks funny.
21:26
It, I mean it just slips back over the pants.
21:34
Jesus, so fucking funny. That's great.
21:42
When it's hard, it's not that bad.
21:43
I did find that holding it in my hand feels OK.
21:46
The only thing I compare feeling it to me, which I mean, I know,
21:48
but most people that listens podcast knows what a Dick feels
21:50
like. But in my brain, like the only
21:52
thing I could describe holding a Dick to was like, there's these
21:54
toys that you get when you're a kid and they're they they water
21:57
toys and they're like folded in. They have like water in the
21:59
middle and you kind of wiggle them.
22:00
That's exactly what it feels like.
22:01
And I'm like, I now never a want to touch one of those toys
22:04
again. And BI don't think any kids
22:05
should have access to those because that's exactly what a
22:07
Dick feels like. Yeah, yeah.
22:10
It's they're, they're, they're OK, hard.
22:12
They're, they're very similar to a dildo, hard but soft.
22:15
Those things are weird looking and then getting soft and you
22:17
I'm I'm never doing that again. OK, again, again, if anyone is
22:22
local in the Pensacola area and it says sub male with a nice at
22:26
least a nine inch deck, you better reach out to me so we can
22:31
reach out to Kylie and you got a properly fucker.
22:34
I'm just saying, I mean, damn, God bless.
22:40
And you know, it's interesting. Most men that I've ever had sex
22:43
with, with big Dicks, man, they know how to fuck because they
22:46
take their time with it. They're always fucking hard.
22:50
It's like, Oh yeah, I'm gonna say no, no, no.
22:56
Yeah, it was funny. You know, we're working on now
22:59
the hydraulics for the hydraulic lift on my slave bed.
23:02
OK, Yeah. And I love it.
23:04
It's just, it's gonna be so fucking badass because I'm
23:07
having these two compartments, one for my GIMP doll, one for my
23:10
Sissy doll. Boom, you know, put him in the
23:12
box. You know, we're moving my heavy
23:13
ass mattress and there's no springs to it.
23:16
It's all latex. So it's fucking heavy is heavy.
23:20
And so I'm standing there and holding up the mattress while
23:23
he's doing his thing on the on the box and my friend Brie walks
23:28
in. My friends like, Oh my gosh, if
23:30
this mattress could talk. The story they would tell.
23:36
Stories I would tell. I've had this mattress for a,
23:40
for God, 15 years and I was like, yeah, I said, look, I said
23:45
it was a good thing it didn't have springs.
23:46
I would have worn the fuck out of it, I said.
23:51
But I was. I would need a new mattress.
23:53
I would need a new mattress, yes.
23:55
I mean I wore my old one out, but I mean this one, I got it
23:57
specifically that has no fucking springs in it.
24:00
It's all latex. And so I said I said it was so
24:05
great. Was at my my old place before I
24:08
met my husband. I would have gang bangs and
24:11
orgies all the time. And it was just being me with
24:13
multiple men. And so I would fuck so much that
24:17
I just finally put a couch at the end of my bed and I would
24:20
turn it around for when they wanted to take a break and I
24:22
would fuck other people. But then I had like I was
24:25
everything for by mails because I was like, I need a fluffer.
24:28
Who's going to fuck that Dick for me?
24:30
You know, love that Dick you. Need a mediator?
24:35
Yes. So it's like, yeah, we had a
24:37
fucking blast, but I was like, Oh my God, Bree, one time, Oh my
24:40
God, seven dudes came over. We were having such a fucking
24:44
amazing time. I had Dicks in both hands up.
24:47
But anyway, that's my point. I'm just saying, Kylie, you
24:50
know, branch out with some big fucking Dicks.
24:52
Craigslist used to be the fucking shit back in the day.
24:54
Now you got so many damn fucking apps.
24:56
You know, it's like you want to put a criteria, but I would just
24:59
write these ads on Craigslist. I'd be like 9 inches that's it.
25:02
Boom. If you have something smaller,
25:04
do not contact me. Smaller, not allowed.
25:08
Size does matter. Size does matter.
25:10
I was OK with guys that you know, are just spy guys.
25:13
So you know, 6-7 inches average, it's totally fine, but I'm just
25:16
not going to fuck him as much. I mean, it's like, it's fine,
25:20
but I'm not going to touch it as much as you want me to.
25:23
I touch it and suck it. Come on guys.
25:27
Little bite size thing, it's good.
25:32
With me sometimes and sometimes I'm like, why am I here?
25:36
It's just my life now. So tell me, what else about this
25:41
adventure did you really enjoy? I mean, I enjoyed all of it.
25:44
I mean, I will say at the biggest, like downside for me,
25:48
aside from this getting soft to me that was, but the other like
25:52
major downside was cuddling with a man is completely different
25:55
from cuddling with a woman because women they're they're
25:57
they're comfy pacifiers and pillows and just amazing,
26:02
wonderful things that women have on their chest.
26:04
It's just beautiful, glorious. I could read poems.
26:06
Absolutely love love. Them I talk about babies like me
26:10
and talks about Dick, yeah. Yeah, like, oh, I can cross my
26:13
head next to a Dick and suck out all day long.
26:16
I promise. Go ahead.
26:16
All right, in your face. Hey, give me boobies.
26:22
Yes, boobs, yes, I will suck on the boob all day as long as you
26:25
will let me be on them, honey, as long as you let me be on
26:28
them. But hoggy men, you don't have
26:29
that. They don't have boobs.
26:31
They flat chested and they don't have boobs and that was they
26:33
don't have boobs and that was very sad.
26:35
I was very sad. I was I was laying on them like
26:36
there's no boobs. They suck.
26:37
There's no there's no titty gripping.
26:39
There's no. So.
26:42
He sucks. That's what you need.
26:45
I need fun. I need a couple.
26:46
I need, I need a Dick that I can suck and then it can fuck her
26:49
because I don't want to get himself to me again.
26:51
And then I can just lay on her and suck her boobs and then
26:53
maybe go down if she wants me to, you know, Yeah.
26:56
Maybe see what the cum feels like on a on a on a clit, you
26:59
know, maybe that's an. Experience.
27:01
You do a cream pie. Easy.
27:03
Oh, eat one. OK, Yeah.
27:04
I was like, what are you? Talking about oh, sorry, that's
27:07
that's non lesbian lingo. I'm sorry.
27:10
It's where a man comes on a woman's vagina and you go down
27:13
and you eat it. So could you imagine a man
27:19
standing over his girlfriend? He like any like spews right
27:22
there on her pussy and be like OK Kylie get to work.
27:25
Sounds like a fun time actually, doesn't it does, yeah.
27:28
Also, who is going to tell me that cum isn't actually white?
27:31
I'm sorry, now how? Is not completely white like it
27:37
was like more like cream colored.
27:39
Now I was like I was expecting like I was expecting to be like
27:42
pure white snow and it turned out to be like this like really
27:44
light colored stuff. It was almost I was like what is
27:47
this? What?
27:48
What is this? Okay, cream colored as in.
27:51
I don't. Like.
27:53
Like an E crew, like a beige it. Was more it was more like it was
27:57
like cream like not explain it like cream.
28:02
So you put cream in coffee and how it changes the color.
28:05
Okay, that's what it reminded me of.
28:07
Okay, It was not white at all. It was not stark white.
28:09
I was like, who was gonna tell me this?
28:11
All right, well, let's go into health class right now.
28:15
All right, So there's a lot of men who do not drink a lot
28:18
water, okay? And if they don't drink a lot of
28:21
water, a lot of times they have chunky semen where it will come
28:24
out and just, yeah, you looking at me funny, But it'll be it'll
28:28
be white, it'll be thick, and it will just come out in drops of
28:33
chunks. That's what it is, because
28:35
they're dehydrated, they're not drinking enough water, OK.
28:37
However, the more water and I, I'm going to reiterate this with
28:41
men, the more water they drink, the clearer the semen, OK, and
28:47
the more fluid it will be. Yeah, It was very, like, it was
28:51
not very light, like it was not very white at all.
28:53
It was like very cream, almost clear.
28:55
Like it was very. I was like, who was gonna tell
28:57
me that this is not Snow White? Like this?
28:59
I was expecting Snow White to be down my leg, and instead there's
29:02
just like almost clear. Like it looked like I was the
29:04
only one that came like. Yeah.
29:06
So he's obviously, he drinks a lot of water.
29:08
Yeah, yeah. So that's, I mean that's a plus
29:10
side. Yeah, it did taste exactly how I
29:12
thought it would taste them. I will say I was prepared for
29:15
that bleach. It was a little it was it just
29:17
tasted like salt, like like pure water salt.
29:19
What taste it like to me? OK.
29:21
Well, he drinks a lot of water, Yeah, maybe he had a high salty
29:23
diet. I.
29:24
Don't know. But I mean, it was very, yeah,
29:27
my friend were talking about where switch gears, you know, my
29:29
friend were talking about this the other day over the fact
29:32
that, like, pussies smell generally.
29:34
Like, I've been with a couple, I've been with a good handful of
29:38
girls, and some of them have strong, very strong senses and
29:41
taste and then some you can't really smell at all.
29:44
And I've been told by people who've gone down on me that I
29:46
don't have much of A taste or smell.
29:48
Like even when I'm excited, there's not much much of
29:50
anything there. And I was like, what causes
29:52
that? Because like I've looked at like
29:53
my play printer that I just you know, that just ended.
29:56
And my ex both had strong smells.
29:58
My ex was a strong smell period. And it wasn't that she was
30:01
dirty. She just had a strong smell just
30:03
all time. And when she was wetted hit you
30:05
in the face. And she also had a really strong
30:07
taste like that. But the play burner I had, she
30:10
was she only had a strong smell when she was wet and she was a
30:13
bit she had a strong taste too. But I don't have that.
30:15
I'm like the diets are all like different.
30:17
Like I don't know what causes that.
30:19
But anyways, my friend, really. No, not really.
30:22
OK. Do you drink a lot of fluid in
30:24
general? Yeah, I do.
30:24
I do drink a lot of fluid throughout the day.
30:26
You know, typically a lot of it is more so genetic.
30:29
OK? So like, a lot of women are
30:31
prone to God. OK, men, I'm sorry you're going
30:34
to have to hear this, but a lot of women are prone to, you know,
30:37
vaginosis or yeast infections or discharge.
30:42
Oh yeah, or these. Ugly things that happen, you
30:45
know, sometimes they take an antibiotic, messes with their
30:48
pH, sometimes excessive sweaters, but bottom line, it's
30:53
all an internal thing. So a lot of times it's all in a
30:56
diet of what you eat and it's all in how much fluid you drink
31:01
that it's going to flush out your system.
31:03
You know, So I remember like I've never had God, this is, I
31:08
know I get so transparent personal, but I've never had an
31:11
abnormal Pap smear. There's a lot of women that go
31:15
and they'll have like bad pH or anything like that.
31:17
I'm like you, I've always been told.
31:19
Oh, wow, You don't. You don't have a taste.
31:20
You don't have a smell. Yeah, you know, and that's
31:23
that's a great thing. Yeah, it is good.
31:25
It's just weird because like I was like, because my diet is
31:28
extremely limited because I have a couple of different health
31:30
issues. So my my diet is extremely
31:32
limited. So I tell you what.
31:33
So all the men I've been with, all men have been different.
31:36
But I will say that I used to have an ex-boyfriend and he was
31:39
Amerasian. Beautiful man, just a beautiful
31:42
man, sexy as fuck. Oh my God, he was one who's
31:46
always giving me like the crossdresser experience because
31:49
he would paint his nails and I would paint his nails and you
31:52
know, he'd wear panties for me. And we always had, I mean, the
31:55
sex was mind blowing, but you know, he had a six inch penis.
31:59
It was never a massive Dick. It had a nice scarf.
32:02
But I mean, he's just beautiful. And it was like his Dick and
32:05
balls. Again, he's primarily Asian and
32:08
he had like the softest skin and so like his Dick and balls, it
32:12
was like fucking silk, mind you. And he had very limited body
32:16
hair. You know, David, if you ever
32:17
listen, I'm just saying you always had the great sex.
32:20
And let me tell you, he would eat pussy like a motherfucking
32:23
champ. Like we had such amazing sex and
32:26
I miss the sex but I do. But no doubt.
32:33
But I will say. Big ball like that.
32:35
That his come, He would be so conscientious of this because he
32:40
would care more about me because I would suck his Dick until he
32:43
came a lot of times because we both liked it.
32:46
I was totally down with it. And he would always eat
32:48
pineapple. And I know people are just like,
32:51
pineapple isn't really a thing, but yes, men who eat fucking
32:54
pineapple, his cum never had a fucking taste.
32:57
It was like water. It didn't come out white.
33:00
It was like perfect. It was like, yeah, I could drink
33:03
this all day, put it in my fucking tea.
33:05
It was that Kylie's face. Right now, I'm sorry, Kylie, me.
33:18
I took the cream to reference a little too literally, I think.
33:21
You have to, you have to be because a lot of men don't
33:24
realize. A lot of men honestly do not
33:27
realize. Let me tell you, I've had like
33:30
all weekend fuck fast with one individual, OK?
33:33
And I will tell you that at some point I fucked him so much and
33:37
he came so much, he started dry heaving.
33:39
By the time he was having an orgasm, he was trying to have an
33:42
orgasm. He would have an orgasm, nothing
33:44
would come out. You know, that's impressive.
33:47
I'm telling you it's. Really fucking impressive.
33:49
Impressive. Yeah.
33:51
So I mean, I've come dry before, but he was after out.
33:54
I mean it when it comes to like that kind of stuff, I'll push
33:59
limits. Like I think my record is 40 and
34:02
six hours or something like that.
34:05
Yeah, I gotcha. But it was, I mean, by the end,
34:09
not only was I, I was like, but it was also like, it was, it was
34:12
dry. It was there's nothing, nothing,
34:15
nothing. Yeah, fun.
34:17
Times it is. Fun times this is.
34:20
This is this is my life, guys. This is.
34:22
Right, Good morning, my listeners, and happy Monday.
34:26
Thank you for joining us for this lovely episode.
34:30
I just actually recorded it over the weekend with Kylie the
34:34
lesbian virgin. You can find her on Fetlife as
34:38
Kylie Marley. She is so funny and so fun and I
34:43
really cannot tell you how much I enjoyed doing this episode
34:46
with her. It was a little over 2 hours so
34:50
I have kind of separated it into three different episodes.
34:55
So I hope you enjoy it. Sit back and laugh and maybe get
35:00
some interesting insight on what lesbians really think about your
35:04
Dick. Until then, have a fabulous day.