Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: Fire Emoji

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Dear Banya: Fire Emoji · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing In with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: and two time People's Choice Award winning podcast. Hello everybody,
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: we are scrubbing in. Nah.
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Did you think rapril Fool's Day? Oh no, I know.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Haley's not a big prank gal.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, neither am I?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I take that fun to brank.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: I know, which is why Robby always does it.
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: You're actually both fun to prank, but Haley gets more
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: like mad at me and you just go like like,
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: I throw a little fit you and then you move on. Yeah,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: so it's more it's more worth it to do to
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: save it for you than Haley. But no, I do
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: love a prank.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: So hope you all stayed prank free yesterday. I hope
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: you were on alert.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: Hope you were pranked or got to pranks somebody. What's
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: the fun harmless prank? It's just where is the line?
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: Where do you draw the line of harmless?
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: I don't enjoy like the like serious.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Like remember when I told you Gypsy Roses with Pete Davidson.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Right, harmless, harmless? And I believed it? Yeah? And who
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: can't get who can't that guy gets everybody? I'm like
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: trying to find the photos. She got me good. I
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: was like, I adoptate my trending report.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah she really got me with that. But that's harmless.
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: Harmful is like when someone's tends to be hurt, yeah,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: or sick or you know that type of stuff. If
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: it lasts longer than an hour and someone's in hours,
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: I mean that was again harmless. If you told me
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: that you're sick for an hour, I'd be so pissed.
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right, you're right. Yeah.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: AnyWho, any moving on?
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Well, we are happy passover, Happy Passover. We have a
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Dear Bonia episode today, so we can just jump right
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: into it, shall we. Yeah, I'm feeling advicey okay, right
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: from anonymous.
• 2:19
  Speaker 3: I'm a day one scrubber looking from some advice. I
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: broke up with my ex about five months ago. I
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: learned he is seeing someone. We were together for six years,
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: lived together, just grew apart, became more roommates than partners.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: We had many talks about if things never changed, and
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: I finally reached my breaking point, I moved out. We
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: broke up because he owns that house. I'm thirty one.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: He's thirty eight. We're still friends. We talk occasionally, which
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: is how I find out he's seeing someone. I'm happy
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: for him, but I still love him and I want
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: him to be happy. I'm also sad and upset that
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: he has moved on so quickly. Any advice on how
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: to get through this. I'm moving into an apartment this
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: weekend to live solo for the first time ever, without
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: a roommate or a partner, trying some of that modern
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: woman energy. Thank you love the pod so much. You
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: guys bring a smile to my face. Make me laugh
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: every episode.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm hearing in this. She's not upset
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: that she's not with him. She's upset that he moved on.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: I don't want your body, but I hate to.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Think about you with somebody else. Yeah that songs.
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like you. He wasn't actually your person that
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: you want to spend your life with, but you weren't
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: ready to see him move on. And the thing is,
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I always hear these stories about how like when men
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: break up or divorce or lose their wives or whatever
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: it is, they always quickly find a woman. Because I
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: think this is just my opinion. I think men need.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I think men depend on women more than women depend
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: on men.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Have you seen the stats? Mark, I might need to
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: do a little quick factor.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: I'm ready.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: They say that like married men live live like ten
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: years more or something, but single women live longer.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I saw this TikTok.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: It's something like that.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna derailed from this a little bit, but it's
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: still the same kind of concept. I saw this TikTok
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: where this girl was saying that why do so many
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: women who either divorce their husbands or lost their husbands
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: say like they would never get married again. And it's
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: and then and then you talk to men and they're
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: like immediately trying to like find another woman who can
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: you know, either companion or take care of them. And
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: she was like, women feel like it seems as though
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: women feel a sense of freedom if they've been in
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: a long term marriage or that they don't want to
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: enter back into that as opposed to men feel like,
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I my life is so much less without a woman
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: in my life.
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is interesting, It is interesting. I think it
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: just depends on like the dynamic of your relationships, and
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: like I think the like thinkership, the old school partnership
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: where like the woman like takes care of everything. She
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: takes care of the kids, she takes care of the house.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: She's like takes on that mental load. I do feel
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: like at least like modern relationships seem a little bit different.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: I agree. I think there the goal is for a
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: more equal partnership, whereas I think that was more like
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: the wives catering to the women, catering to the men
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: and taking care of the kids in the house and whatnot.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: Like I know, there's like we have like a couple
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: married friends. When the wife like goes out of town,
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: she has to leave like minute by minute instructions of
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: like everything in terms of like the kids and the
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: house and this and that and like what to make
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: for this meal. And when I leave Robbie, I'm like, yeah,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: you know, like and he gets handle it. And if
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: he leaves like I can handle it, He's not leaving
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: me instructions, you know what I mean. So it's just
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: like we both kind of have like that same mental load.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Mark, do you agree with that statement? As a man?
• 5:48
  Speaker 3: I was doing research, and I'll give you the results
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: of my research and then we can explore that further.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Both married men and married women live longer than single
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: men and single women, but the longevity gap is shorter
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: with women. Men live a lot longer, married women live
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: a little longer. Got it, Okay, So the question is
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: men are more reliant on women than vice versa.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Well, like the man if people. If a man and
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: a woman are in a relationship and they split up,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: it's normal for a man to seek out the relationship
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: with a woman faster than a woman to move on to.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: Seek that relationship because the guy doesn't know how to
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: do anything. Yeah, he literally has no idea how to
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: operate any machines in his house. He doesn't know how
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: to make himself a sandwich. Like he's really lost. So yeah,
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: I believe that's true.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So, Anonymous, what I'm here to say is that
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I don't think this was something that was against you
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: or how much love he had for you. I think
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: he's just seeking out the comfort of having a woman
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: in his life, and I think he probably would have
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: stayed in the relationship with you if you had been
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: willing to stay in there totally, I think. But I
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: think that you are entering one of the most exciting
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: seasons of your life, having your own place, getting it
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: to be exactly what you want, keeping it the way
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: that you want, and getting to explore what that looks
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: like to be single and ready to mingle.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: It's such an exciting season of life. And like I
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: think back on my when I didn't have roommates and
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: I lived in my apartment by myself, and I got
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: to like decorate it how I wanted and do everything
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: how I wanted in that place. Like I just I
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: think of it very fondly. So it is very exciting
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: time you're entering. And you know what they say, like
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: when you're a swimmer, what you should just swim, swim,
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: keep swimming in your lane because the minute you look
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: to your left or the minute you look to your right,
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: you're losing the race. So stop looking at your ex
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: and whoever he's with, stop looking at whoever, keep in
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: your own path and you'll get there faster. Yeah.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: Well executed.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: And I was a little nervous. Yeah that was well done.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Wait again, anything I know it's things?
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all right, Anonymous says, hello, back a time your
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: mark and Eastern I became a scrubber last year. The
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: recommendation of a friend of loved every episode would you
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: tell your partner if an ex commented on a selfie
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: you posted. I posted a selfie of myself at the
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: beach last week, and a couple of days later, my
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: ex commented with fire emojis and hope you're doing well.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: I haven't and don't plan to respond, but I posted
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: another selfie. He commented with fire emojis. Again. This is
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: an ax I dated for almost a year, and we
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: had it on good terms. I've been with my current
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: boyfriend just over a year. Haven't heard from my ex
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: until now. I think it's pretty innocent. But should I
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: mention it? I have no plans to respond. I don't
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: think it's a big deal if I keep ignoring it.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: I think the girlies often post selfie so I was
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: just wondering if you ever experienced anything similar. Would love
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: your thoughts. Thanks for bringing the sunshine every week.
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I would almost just bring it up as like, oh,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: so and so keeps he like keeps sending me fire emojis.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: I would just make it seem like you're not trying
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: to like hide it. But I also it's.
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: Like, see, I feel like commenting on an Instagram to
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: tell him feels.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Is I can't tell if it's a direct message comment or.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: No, I think she's saying, like commenting with fire emojis,
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: like yeah, but under the impression of this is just
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: like publicly, like under.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Her phone, it's a commenting on her her like story,
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: so it's like private because if you can see it,
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: it's like yeah.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: If it's like on the photo on the grid and
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: it's public. And I wouldn't say it to him because
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's like you're trying to get a
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: rise out of him.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: And if he's like, wait, why is he commenting fire?
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: Be like, I don't know, why is he doing that.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I did this when I started dating Robbie because I
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: had like a an ex that would kind of text
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: me every once in a while, but like nothing flirty
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: or anything. But I would tell Robbie he could care less,
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: So I say, tell him if it's privates, if it's
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: a private message, I would just say tell him. And
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: then if he just like does not care, then.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Just stop, yeah, because it's like you're.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: Doing the right thing and like but then eventually like, yeah,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: who cares.
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: If it's public, don't even say anything. If it's private,
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: be like I don't He keeps dming me just want
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: to show you like I have no right. I'm not
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: even responding.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah, remember when to get Robbi's attention.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Those were those like my het, I mean to what extent?
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: Like what else did I do you get? D I
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: had a mail leg in my photos?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: The way we were just like Robert, we need Robert,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: good old Robert the best. You know, he always called
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: me He'll calment here and there on mine things with
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: me and Haley, And.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: You know, explaining that to Robbie was like really difficult,
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: because yeah, it just made me seem so insane, like
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: truly insane, like having just like having to like verbalize that.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Like he's like, where where'd you go? I'm like, oh,
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: that wasn't actually me. And then when I told him
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: it was Tory Marldy that sent me the photo, he goes,
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: how did you get it from her? I was like,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: I saw that she was in the mountains and I
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: asked her to do it for me. He's like, oh
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: my god, that's so embarrassing. It's nothing nothing I would
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: recommend anybody do. But you know, we have our ups
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: and we have our downs.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: It did what it needed to do.
• 11:27
  Speaker 3: It did it?
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: Did it?
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: You have to realize every choice has a consequence, and
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: you got what you needed from that, but the consequence
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: was having to explain yourself after.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: The fact, and it was quite embarrassing.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Multiple we have someone needs home making choosing a baby
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: name so fun to do when we come back. We're back, Yeah, Mark.
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: Anonymous, I scrubbing and fam, I need to help choosing
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: my baby girl's name. I have two names that adore
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: and I really feel good about both of them, which
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: makes it extra hard. I want to hear your preference.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: I have a daughter named Wren w R E N
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: like the bird Wren, and her baby bird Ren is
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: a bird and her sister is on the way. Do
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: you guys like the names? Here we go. These are
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: the two names. Get ready brace yourselves here. They are
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: Blair or Roamy. I'm gonna spell them for you. Blair
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: b l A I R E or Roamy r O
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: M E E. Thanks guys, Love you Bye.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: JoJo's little girl is Romy Blair.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, Uh, that's very weird. Yeah, so strange.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Strange that these are the two names.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: I thought her. Oh, Rogers is the last name?
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Romy Blair Rodgers.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was like, I thought, I thought she
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: did the row row like Jojo to be. Do you
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: get what I'm saying, Like JoJo's name is Jojo and
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: her daughter's romy rogers row row. Yeah, I thought she
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: did that on purpose, But I don't think she did.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, AnyWho, I like the name. I love the
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: name Romyn romy Blair because I feel like romy. I
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: feel like I know a lot of romy babies.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Romy is. I've seen a lot. There's a it's a
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: popular name. Yeah, it's so cute. I'm so fell this
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: way romy.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: So I'm my instinct is to say Blair, Blair.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: And Wren, Ren and Blair a cute together.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Love Blair, and I'll tell you why. Oh no, I'm old.
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: We got a factor that is Blair Witch Project Blair Witch,
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Blair from the Fact Life, Blair from Gossip Girl. One
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: of those are great, like.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: Blair is iconic.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: No, I feel like all of those Blairs are kind
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: of snobby. Not Blair Wedge, but Blair from Gossip Girl
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: and Blair from the Facts of Life.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: No Blair from Gossip Girls.
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: Maybe I'm wrong.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I love I actually love both, but I'm like, well,
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: don't you just do both?
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: What about blow me?
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: Well, I can think of why not me.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Rare? Combine them? You see what I did? Roamy and
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: Blair Rare not good? Rare and wren is so cute?
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Come on, No, I think she wants more.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: No, she's shaking her head.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: I really think Blair and wren Is looks really cute.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I feel it feels really cute together.
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: Better than blow me. I'll give you that one.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Blow Me's crazy.
• 15:10
  Speaker 3: By the way, Romy is nine hundred and twenty six
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: on the top names, so that's not it's not I
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: know you're seeing a lot of babies, but it's not
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: overly popular.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: I followed well Jojo, and then another girl I follow
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: named her baby Romy.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: And another girl I know that I've named her baby that,
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: and then another person named Remy. There's like many Remis
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: and Romy's. I think it might just be a tad
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: too many.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: No. When when Jojo told me Romy, I was like,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: that's Romy Rogers. Yeah, just insane thing ever in Robro.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: If she wants to go to last name, actually yeah,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I do.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: I do blow up. I do like the genes sequah
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: of like the last name, like flowing, you know, what
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I mean literation?
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like yeah, okay, so maybe I'm going for a
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: why oh right, right tough? Okay, so blow me is
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: out and we all my vote is Blair.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: My vote is Blair too.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: But we would like to if you want to follow
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: up and give a last name, just we won't even
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: talk about it. We'll just give you it.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: We'll just ponder and then we'll email you back. But
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I also just really want to encourage some thought on
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: the name Rare.
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: How do you spell that?
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: R A w u r a r e a I
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: r e. It's a nightmare r a r e like rare,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: as as in rare beauty, as in I'm so rare.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: Why don't you? Why don't you leave me?
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: What's her name? Rare?
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: What is it rare? It's rare, it's rare, But what
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: is her name?
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: I love it?
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: Save it for your own babies.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: Then I need why.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: It's a Simon anonymous. They're all anonymous. So just factor
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: that is. Her husband works at normal nine to five,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: but he wants to leave his job become a cop.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: It's a meaningful career, but she's worried about the safety risks,
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: the schedule changes and we currently spend our evenings together
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: and we're going to lose that. We also live with
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: his mom because he's an only child with a single
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: mother and he feels responsible for her. If he starts
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: working nights and weekends, then I'm going to be stuck
• 17:15
  Speaker 3: with his mom nights and weekends, which is not the
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: life I imagine for myself. Am I being unreasonable for
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: pushing back in this career change?
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: Love you so much, You're not being unreasonable. I think
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: this is a conversation that you really need to sit
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: down and say. I want you to feel fulfilled on
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: what you're doing. However, I need you to consider how
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: this is going to affect me as well. Because we
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: are a partnership, we live with your mom, we take
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: care of your mom. That's going to put a different
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: level of responsibility on me. I think this is just
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: a bigger conversation that isn't you not supporting him and
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: what he wants to do, but just being realistic as
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: a partner and what that looks like for you.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: I also understand the safety concerns that you have because
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: I would be totally worried about that too, Like I'd
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: be like, this is not what I signed up for.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think that's what I'm saying. This
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: is a big conversation that's not Also, is.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: This career move bringing in more financial stability? Like I
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: do feel like that also factors in. You know, the
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: relationships are compromised.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: I would just say there's compromise, but then there's you know,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: like I said, taking into She's the compromise I think
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: is living with the mom and caring for her and
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: making sure she's taken care of. I think that's already
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: a compromise in that relationship of being like, you're an
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: only child and your mom's a single mom, So I'm
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: willing to do that with you. So this is where
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: there might need to be a compromise on his end. Yeah,
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: And is there any other job that will fulfill him
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: that has more stable hours?
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Well, what if maybe he becomes a cop but mom
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: gets her own place. Is that a compromise or is
• 18:45
  Speaker 3: that rude? It makes it seem living with mom for
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: the rest of our life.
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know if she needs help.
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: You know, she could be forty years old for a Yeah,
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: she could be forty years old, thriving could be.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: But I'm saying we don't know she needs physical Like if.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: She's eighty five and needs your constant supervision, that's different.
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: But if she's fifty two and like has a circle
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: of friends, she could get her own place.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: I agree. It's just she said he feels responsible.
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: I know that feels responsible, but is he actually responsible
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: to me?
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: If somebody's moved in to kick them out feels dark?
• 19:23
  Speaker 3: That seems unhealthy to me.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I agree, And maybe.
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: Find a place where there's a casita or like an
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: hour word.
• 19:29
  Speaker 3: Or what are you a?
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, just a space that's separate.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: But like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I think this is a conver I
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: don't think you're being selfish. I don't think you're unreasonable.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I think that you're very reasonable for needing to have
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: this conversation.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: And if he becomes a cop, you're now married to
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: his mom.
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: Mark in the jugular, Oh.
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, I think you know, you sit down and
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: really like out of what it looks like for both
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: of you with this job change.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Maybe you get a job change and you work nights
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: and weekends too, so Alicia had the same schedule.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Maybe you become a cop.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I knew we're both become a cop and then you
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: can work together.
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I think I think you just need to say, hey,
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: this is gonna affect big time change my life as well.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: Maybe not for the positive. Yeah, but we're truly wishing
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: please give us an update, please.
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we love you all.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: Right, one more break and then one more dear, Oh.
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: My goodness, we're back.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: That we are on time for one more Banya.
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Well, it's a fun one, Bree says, based on your
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: conversation with Jessica and Harmel, what would be five songs
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: that describe you as a person and five songs that
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: mean love to you? I love you bye? Brie?
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Was that a did we talk about that?
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: We talked about like songs. Remember they said they could
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: like play.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: Oh that's why?
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, right, yeah, gosh, fish over there.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: It was like two weeks ago, it was like a
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: month ago.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: It was yeah, Mark, I'm on it.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Five songs would describe me as a person and five
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: songs that mean love to you. I don't I don't
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: know that I can do both of those in the
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: time that we have, because I don't feel prepared. Do
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: you have some but jeweled I knew you were going
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: to say Jewel obviously, Yeah, every day, every day.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: March tenth, that's when we had Jessica andrmal In here
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: twenty days ago, three weeks tomorrow.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: What's the difference, Yeah, but Jewel, I could do it
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: with a broken heart Red. Somehow these are somehow unintentionally.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: Are these describe you?
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: Red? Come on is like peak t Rat not Nollo.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're like married.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: I know, but it's like the girl that feels everything
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: so passionately, you know what I mean, like Red the
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Life of a show Girl. No, and my last one
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: would be Texas hold them.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: As that's right?
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: No, what's the one not not text? Hold them? The
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: one from Lemonade that was like the big one. I
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: ain't sorry, I ain't sorry, Sorry, I'm sorry that's me.
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: That wasn't the right key.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: So I don't remember thinking the same song define you
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: as a person if you don't even know what remember?
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: Sorry, I ain't sorry, I A'm sorry.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Literally can't think of a single song right now. I
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: just gave you five, So I go with what just
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: what love means to me? What does that?
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Are you gonna do? The second portion?
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I have songs that mean love to you. Yeah, I'm
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: gonna say, uh, you got me on Taylor Swift, but
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say you are in love by Taylor Swift.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna say yeah, sure we'll go in daylight.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: I will say bones, Maren Morris, come on love.
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: You like that Digne. And this means this is like
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: a big deal to me because I love lyrics and song.
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: So what's a cold Play song? Yellow?
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: Oh that's too sad. Yeah it's giving sadness. But they
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: have that new one that's like super about love all
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: my love.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I'll be because you know, he says, I'll
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: be the greatest fan of your life.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Viva Levita. All right, I feel like I'm falling in love.
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: Feels like, yeah, I'm.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: Falling in love. No divers time. Yeah, that's a good one.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I'll think more on that. But great questions. And we
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: all as we all, we just always hope that life
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: is fun and easy and that you have people around
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: you to support you. And if you ever need advice
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh, I don't have anyone to turn
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: to that I feel safe to ask, just head on
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: over to the scrubbing in page.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and if you are having a bad day or
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: dealing with an annoying person. Just wrap yourself in that
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: little love cocoon and don't let that negative energy in.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: Block it out, block it out, do not absorb it.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: For the love of everything lovely, do not absorb anybody's
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: energy other than your own. Okay, okay, okay.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: We love you.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Somebody I love you.