Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What happens when a narcissist has you hooked?
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on beautiful people?
- 0:02Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
- 0:04I'm your favorite self aware narcissist Mr. Lee Hammock
- 0:08better known as Mental illness across all social media
- 0:10platforms. This is the first time to see my
- 0:12face or hear my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:14narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
- 0:17awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy like myself
- 0:20and also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said
- 0:24disorder, said toxic people said toxic traits.
- 0:26Today's episode is going to be about what happens when a
- 0:30narcissist has you hooked, when they when they got you right
- 0:34where they want you. Before we hop into today's
- 0:37episode, y'all make sure you check out the Self Love brand.
- 0:40This is the I love Me I'm Worthy shirt right here that I'm
- 0:43wearing. If you're watching this on
- 0:44YouTube and whatnot. Link is in the description of
- 0:46every single video and podcast I do.
- 0:48Make sure you also join the newsletter as well.
- 0:51But yeah, I'm Worthy Health of the the Self Love brand is
- 0:54growing. Y'all, So what happens when a
- 0:57narcissistic person, toxic person feels like they got you
- 1:00right where they want you? They take the mask off.
- 1:06When a narcissist has you hooked, they typically reveal to
- 1:09who reveal to you who they really are.
- 1:12There might be, and a lot of people call this stage removing
- 1:16the mask or whatever. A lot of narcissists will
- 1:19absolutely remove the mask at this stage right here you see
- 1:23what I'm saying? A lot of absolutely.
- 1:25A lot. A ton of narcissistic people
- 1:27will absolutely remove the mask, take the mask off, and show you
- 1:31who they really are. Once they feel like they have
- 1:33you hooked and once they feel like it's harder for you to
- 1:35leave them, you may. Once they have you head over
- 1:39heels, Literally head over heels smitten in love.
- 1:44Yeah, my mom used to call it my Mack.
- 1:46Used to used to say smelling yourself.
- 1:48Like when they got you smelling yourself, you so in love you
- 1:50smell your snuff on you, smell yourself on them or whatever.
- 1:53You know what I mean? It's just like once they have
- 1:56you, that's when the that's when they show you who they really
- 1:58are. You know once they have you,
- 2:01once they have you isolated, once they got you moved across
- 2:03the country or to a different city, to a different town or
- 2:06whatever, far away from your just not necessarily too far
- 2:10away, but away. That's just far enough where you
- 2:13don't feel comfortable, where they feel comfortable, where you
- 2:15don't feel comfortable, like your support system is just
- 2:18outside of arm's reach. You see what I'm saying?
- 2:20Just outside of arm's reach your support system is So what
- 2:25happened like that's when they when they take the mask off when
- 2:27they feel like they have you and they feel like they got you
- 2:30hooked like you. So in love you, they got to you
- 2:32had this big bright ass future plan together.
- 2:35You know y'all have this been a typically it's been a whirlwind
- 2:38romance or whatever. It's like get everything is
- 2:41going just that you this is a fairy tale story.
- 2:44You saw this. You've seen this movie before.
- 2:46It's not like you. It's like it's like you've seen
- 2:50this movie before. They take the mask off and
- 2:52there's very there's certain moments when this happens.
- 2:54Y'all, there's a few moments when this happens.
- 2:56One of the moments when they happen, like I said, when they
- 2:58have you isolated away from your support system, your friends,
- 3:00families, loved ones, when they have you away from all of them,
- 3:03they can take the mask off. But also also also also when
- 3:08there's a baby involved. When you get pregnant or they
- 3:12get pregnant by you mask off because then they got you.
- 3:18A baby is one of the most defining moments.
- 3:20A pregnancy is one of the most defining moments when the
- 3:22narcissistic mask comes off and they show you who they really
- 3:25are because now they feel like they really got their talents
- 3:28into you because the baby is the rest of your life commitment.
- 3:31It's not, yeah, I know everybody gets into their head.
- 3:33It's just 18 years, just 18 years.
- 3:35Y'all it's kind of wild that people say that because 18 years
- 3:38is damn near 25% of the average lifespan of a of a human.
- 3:43The average lifespan of a human is 70 something years old.
- 3:47Eighteen years or 25% of your life.
- 3:48So, so many people. Just like it's only 18 years.
- 3:50I can't wait 18 years. 18 years, Yeah, it's 25% of your life.
- 3:53Look at it like that, 18 years that you know, you grown, you
- 3:57grown to 18, You see what I'm saying?
- 3:59But 18 years is not the end of it.
- 4:01Like you got to that that that kid is who is 18 now, is going
- 4:04to have kids of their own when they maybe they choose, if they
- 4:07so choose, that kid is going to have grand, you're going to have
- 4:09grandkids. They're going to be graduations.
- 4:10They're going to be holidays coming up.
- 4:12You got a cograndparent, you know what I'm saying?
- 4:14The coparent doesn't stop or you don't have to.
- 4:17Like I said, there's ways you can get in between it, but that
- 4:19person will be part of your life forever.
- 4:21They feel like that they can take the mask off pregnancies
- 4:24you may moving in together, buying a house together, renting
- 4:26a house together, signing a lease, whatever that situation
- 4:29is. Y'all they they can take the
- 4:30mask off then because now I at least got we have a loan
- 4:33determined this lease is a year, two years.
- 4:36You may I got you because now your name is on here or my name
- 4:40is on here. So it's just like if you leave
- 4:42me, I'm going to ruin your credit or you go or going to
- 4:45ruin your finances because you can have to pay the whole
- 4:47mortgage of rent by yourself. You have a foreclosure on your
- 4:50credit or you're going to have a broken lease on your credit and
- 4:53eviction on your credit. There's something going to be.
- 4:55As I say, they feel like they got you now and there could be a
- 4:57combination of things, House kids buying a car together,
- 5:01something to loan those lies. You see what I'm saying?
- 5:04There could be a combination. There's just not one or the
- 5:06other. It could be a combination of it.
- 5:08But they the more they feel, the more they feel like they they
- 5:10solidly have you hooked. The more they feel like they can
- 5:13truly be themselves. You know what I mean?
- 5:16Like I said, the more they feel like they got you, the more they
- 5:20feel like they can honestly, truthfully be who they really
- 5:22are around you. I can take the mask off.
- 5:24The mask has gotten suit like this mask like they didn't wear,
- 5:28they, they didn't wore a mask. The whole relationship, right?
- 5:33They wore this. They wore masks like this.
- 5:36The whole relationship. Right.
- 5:38So when they finally, Oh, you're pregnant.
- 5:41I'm hey, I'm pregnant by you. Oh, this mask is heavy.
- 5:45I can ball the mask up now. I can beat.
- 5:47I can beat me now. You see what I'm saying?
- 5:50There's certain certain moments once they feel like they have
- 5:52you hooked. It's not that you don't
- 5:53necessarily have to get pregnant by them or have or get them
- 5:56pregnant. You don't have to buy a house to
- 5:59come together. You can just be madly head over
- 6:02heels and love and they just trust that so much that they can
- 6:05take the mask off. It's like they know the love
- 6:08bombing has taken effect on you and they've gotten away with so
- 6:11much stuff. They they they start doing bad
- 6:13things to you. They started kind of testing the
- 6:14boundaries. They're going to start testing
- 6:17the boundaries of your relationship and you forgive
- 6:20them. You take them back, you overlook
- 6:22stuff. Then they feel like they have
- 6:24you. Oh damn, you really not going to
- 6:25leave me. Got you.
- 6:26Whatever. They feel like you're not going
- 6:27to leave or it's harder for you to leave.
- 6:29You don't necessarily have to make a commitment to this
- 6:31person. You don't have to live together.
- 6:32You don't have to have a baby together.
- 6:33You don't have to buy a car together.
- 6:35They can just feel like y'all you are in it to win it.
- 6:37They can feel like you might have something going on within
- 6:39your own mind that makes it harder for you to want to leave
- 6:42them. So they're just like okay.
- 6:43This person's with me. They might feel like you're a
- 6:45ride or die or they might question, they might test it,
- 6:48They might do a test to test to see if you're a ride or die.
- 6:51To test to see if your how, how high your resolve is like how
- 6:55how high your threshold for forgiveness is.
- 6:59And don't tell so many people y'all like when they show you
- 7:01who they really are, if you feel like they're testing your
- 7:03boundaries, if they even say it. I was just testing you.
- 7:06Y'all, y'all. If they ain't the damn red flag,
- 7:10I don't know what it is. If that ain't red flaggy
- 7:13behavior, I don't know what it is.
- 7:15You see what I'm saying? Once they feel like they got
- 7:18you, they got When they feel like their talents are in you or
- 7:21a lot of you, We call them narcissistic people, energy
- 7:24vampires. What They feel like they have
- 7:25those fangs in your neck. What they feel like they have
- 7:28those fangs in your neck. They got you.
- 7:31Once they feel like you, you're committed to a future with them,
- 7:33they got you. Once they feel like you've
- 7:35committed, you've quit your job or you change your lifestyle up
- 7:38for them, they got you. Once they feel like you've cut
- 7:40your friends and family out, they feel like they got you, got
- 7:44you's going to get you. They feel like they got you.
- 7:46Once they feel like they got you, then they take advantage of
- 7:49the situation. You see what I'm saying?
- 7:50They're going to tell people once they feel like they got
- 7:53you, they will take advantage of you.
- 7:54They're going to, they're going to pound it home.
- 7:56I promise you that once they feel like they've got got you
- 7:59committed to them, they're going to pound at home.
- 8:01They're going to pound your brain.
- 8:02They're going to mess with you because why wouldn't they?
- 8:04Y'all, why wouldn't they mess with you if they keep getting
- 8:06forgive? You know what I'm saying?
- 8:07They're going to keep testing your boundaries.
- 8:09Oh, why? You're going to pick your
- 8:10friends over me. Wow.
- 8:11I never thought we'd get to this point.
- 8:12Wow. Wow.
- 8:13Wow. Wow.
- 8:14Wow. Wow.
- 8:15Wow. Don't give into this stuff.
- 8:18Y'all I'm just telling you. I know people think a lot of
- 8:21people get on my platform. They think I hate narcissists.
- 8:23I do not hate narcissists. I am a narcissist.
- 8:25I have personality disorder. I just want narcissistic people
- 8:29to be better like you, Lee. Or you better say you're better
- 8:31than them. I'm better.
- 8:32I'm. I'm farther along on my healing
- 8:34journey. Absolutely, yes.
- 8:35I'm not saying I'm better than nobody, But am I further along
- 8:38my healing journey than most narcissists on this planet?
- 8:42Absolutely would know it? Yes.
- 8:45I'm not better than them. I'm just further along.
- 8:47I want them to. Come on, let's get it.
- 8:50I don't hate narcissists. I want them to get better.
- 8:51But don't leave. We do too.
- 8:53So we going to stay? No, no, no, no.
- 8:56If you're looking for us, I thought I had to say this in my
- 8:58video. If you're looking for a sign to
- 9:00stay in your type of relationship, this ain't it.
- 9:03This. You're looking for something to
- 9:04give them another chance. This ain't it.
- 9:07Once they violate those boundaries and they, you know,
- 9:09once they violate your boundaries in an unforgivable
- 9:12way, don't forgive them. Don't take it back.
- 9:16Because the more you forgive them y'all, the more they take
- 9:19advantage of you. The more you do, the more you
- 9:21let them get. They feel like they let you let
- 9:22them get away with, the more they will take advantage of you.
- 9:25I promise you that. I promise you.
- 9:28They don't care. Y'all it gets to the point where
- 9:30they don't care what they do to you.
- 9:32As long as you're letting them get away with it, they do not
- 9:35care. They're like okay, I'm fine, You
- 9:36fine. You.
- 9:36Cool. Gotcha.
- 9:38Gotcha is going. Get you?
- 9:41That's the mindset of a lot of narcissistic people.
- 9:43That's why I want you. I just want you to protect your
- 9:45peace, Protect yourself. Because once they feel like they
- 9:47have you hooked, once they feel like you're committed to them,
- 9:49promise, rank, engagement, whatever it is, kids, you've
- 9:52met, their family. Sometimes all it takes are you
- 9:54meeting in their family and they're them meeting yours.
- 9:57Sometimes all that it takes is a vacation together and y'all
- 10:00committing to each other through text messages and emails and
- 10:02stuff like that. Y'all planning their big future
- 10:04together. That's all it takes for them to
- 10:06start showing their self sometimes.
- 10:07Y'all but like Lee, how do we speak that process?
- 10:10I don't have five years to get to the to a person and not know
- 10:13they're narcissistic. Set boundaries.
- 10:16Set boundaries to protect yourself.
- 10:18Say to use the word no. Y'all use the damn word no.
- 10:22No. Use the word no.
- 10:25Because when you start using the word no, it empowers you and it
- 10:30takes power away from them, makes them feel this type of
- 10:32rejection. And they might show you their
- 10:33true character. And when they show you their
- 10:34true character, they yell at you, rage at you, scream at you.
- 10:37They showed you the what's inside of them waiting to come
- 10:40out. They once they show you what's
- 10:42inside of them waiting to come out.
- 10:43Y'all it's on you, it's on you, it's on you.
- 10:46The power up. When was y'all think I was tuned
- 10:50into another episode. I promise you, promise you
- 10:52promise you promise you as much as y'all say y'all learn from
- 10:54me. I promise you I'll learn more
- 10:55from you, stay tuned for more like and subscribe.
- 10:57Check out the Self Love brand. But the illness is out peace.
- 11:00Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 11:02Y'all I'm I am truly, eternally grateful for every single one of
- 11:06y'all that support the channel in any way, shape or form.
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- 11:12the channel so that we can reach more people.
- 11:14To help more people. The Self Love brand is
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- 11:19It's a Self Love brand. The Self Love Journal is
- 11:21available on Amazon as well to help you rebuild that self love
- 11:25and identity. You know, doing the touch
- 11:26relationship. Also looking into joining the
- 11:28channel membership to get more behind the scenes perks and
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