Latest / Loose Threads & Stitches: A Quilting Podcast / Episode 35: The Quilter's Comparison Trap (And Why You're Already Doing Enough)

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Episode 35: The Quilter's Comparison Trap (And Why You're Already Doing Enough) · Loose Threads & Stitches: A Quilting Podcast

• 0:07
  Have you ever reached a goal only to immediately
• 0:10
  feel like it wasn't quite enough?
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  You finish the project.
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  You hit whatever milestone you wanted to finish, right?
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  You clean the room, you improve your routine.
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  And instead of.
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  Granting yourself rest, your mind.
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  Quietly says.
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  Okay, what's next?
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  I've.
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  I've been wondering when that became normal.
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  When in our society, did that become a normal way of thinking?
• 0:39
  Welcome back to the Loose Threads & Stitches podcast
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  I'm Christen with ISeeStarsQuilting.com.
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  And today we are going to continue the.
• 0:48
  Enough.
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  Chapter which is our limited series exploring growth, identity.
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  And the quiet hum of more in a modern life.
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  So last week we talked about the atmosphere of improvement, how we live.
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  Surrounded by messaging.
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  That highlights possibility.
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  Okay, today I want to sit with something related, but slightly different.
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  When did enough start feeling like a moving target?
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  If you are enjoying this little limited series that.
• 1:22
  We're doing on here, make sure that
• 1:23
  you are following this. Podcast so you don't miss the next episode.
• 1:27
  And if these conversations resonate with you.
• 1:30
  Maybe expand your thinking a little. Bit.
• 1:32
  Sharing them with
• 1:33
  someone that you care about is always, always appreciated.
• 1:36
  So okay all right.
• 1:38
  Let's talk about the moving target.
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  There's something
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  subtle that happens over time.
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  Benchmarks in life. Shift.
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  What once felt impressive becomes normal.
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  Feeling what's once felt organized becomes standard.
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  what once felt productive becomes expected.
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  Think about like parenting expectations for a moment.
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  Think about work rhythms.
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  Think about fitness goals.
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  Think about creativity.
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  The bar doesn't just.
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  Rise on its own, okay?
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  It seems to accelerate.
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  And often we don't even.
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  Notice it. Happening.
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  We just feel slightly behind.
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  And when that target moves faster
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  than we could comfortably adapt to, it's easy to think.
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  I should be the one that's keeping up.
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  But what if the pace itself has changed over time?
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  What if the expectations are evolving more quickly than they used to?
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  Not because anyone is attacking us, per se.
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  All right.
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  We did talk a little bit about marketing last week and how.
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  It is kind of designed to constantly push us a little bit.
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  Because without. That need for more,
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  we don't want to.
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  Improve. Right?
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  We don't want that extra. Step before complacent where we. Are.
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  We don't want that extra step.
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  And it's not because we've failed, okay?
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  It's because in a fast
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  moving environment, innovation becomes the baseline.
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  Very, very quickly.
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  And we are in a very fast moving world okay.
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  Something that felt exceptional and wild five years ago can quietly.
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  Become the norm and the average in.
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  Today's world.
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  And when that happens often enough, we may.
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  Start to feel.
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  Like we're never actually getting anywhere.
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  We're never actually arriving.
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  And I see this in creativity, too. Okay.
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  There was a time when finishing something
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  handmade felt complete in and of itself.
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  Okay.
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  Now we document it, we photograph it, we share it, we refine it, we improve it.
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  We compare it to other hashtags with the same exact pattern.
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  You know, none of that is wrong.
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  By the way, I don't want.
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  To say that.
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  In any order or give that impression in any way.
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  None of it is wrong.
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  But the internal experience has shifted.
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  Completion can start to feel like.
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  A performance, okay? And performance.
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  Rarely, rarely feels finish right because performances can always be judged.
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  They could always be tweaked.
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  They can always be improved.
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  And I think this may be why
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  rest feels harder.
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  For a lot of us now.
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  Because even when we. Reach something,
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  our mind is scanning for.
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  The next level.
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  Like, what can I do to. Level up now?
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  I've finished this, I've completed this.
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  What can I do next?
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  And it's not because we're.
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  Ungrateful, okay?
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  It's not because we're greedy,
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  but because we have been accustomed to anticipating.
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  What's the next step? Okay.
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  What's next?
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  Anticipation keeps things moving.
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  But movement doesn't always allow for stillness.
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  And I have felt this in myself.
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  My entire life. All right.
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  You accomplish something.
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  And it's great.
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  And before you even sit with it, your brain looks at you and says.
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  How could this be better?
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  Next time?
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  And sometimes you can.
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  You can.
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  Like you change it to be self-reflection, self-improvement, all of that.
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  But, you know, the growth.
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  Mindset is a beautiful thing until it quietly turns into permanent.
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  Dissatisfaction.
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  Yeah.
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  Tell me if that is not,
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  something that you've struggled with in your life.
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  Just like.
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  Not ever quite satisfied where you are.
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  Hey, there is a difference between evolving.
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  And never actually arriving.
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  There is.
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  And I think that, You know, it's
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  it's not an easy thing to decipher.
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  And it's not an easy thing to figure out in your life.
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  And and here's something that I find grounding.
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  I want to share. This with you.
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  A quilt doesn't change its requirements halfway through.
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  Okay. The pattern doesn't suddenly.
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  Double its expectations of you.
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  Anymore from the moment that you bought it,
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  until the moment that you're working on it.
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  The project doesn't shift the finish line like mid stitch.
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  Okay.
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  It has edges, it has completion, and it has an end.
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  And when it's done,
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  it's done.
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  Okay.
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  There's something steadying about that.
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  And a clear finish line is.
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  Something that you can take.
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  Some comfort in. Right.
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  So let's think about this for a second.
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  So maybe part of what feels exhausting to you and to me to.
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  Remember, I'm talking to myself, too.
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  It isn't personal failure.
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  Maybe it's it's living in.
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  The time where benchmarks move silently.
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  They move very quietly, and most of the time without us
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  even realizing that they're shifting. Okay.
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  Where our expectations evolve quickly,
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  where good upgrades to.
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  Better without much warning. Okay.
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  And when we understand that.
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  When you really, truly understand. That,
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  you can soften your own expectations.
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  Okay, we stop assuming the ache of.
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  Not enough automatically means that we are.
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  Defective, that we aren't doing enough.
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  Sometimes it simply means that the target has moved.
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  And if you are aware of that, sometimes that just lessons, that.
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  Pressure and that burden of being,
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  Defeated.
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  On your own personality and on your own self,
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  and that man that, like, lightens the load on your shoulders.
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  Okay.
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  So I want to leave you with a gentle question this week, and you're welcome.
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  To answer down in the comments.
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  Let me know what it is that you are thinking about.
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  With this. And it is.
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  What if.
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  Enough
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  is an a moving target.
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  But a decision?
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  What if finishing isn't something that you earn,
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  but something that you choose, right?
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  You are allowed to grow.
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  You are absolutely allowed to improve.
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  You are also allowed to decide when you feel.
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  Finished and when you. Feel. Done.
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  And what good enough is.
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  Is good. Enough. Okay.
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  So think on that for a little bit this week and let. Me know what
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  your your thoughts are on that.
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  Next week we're going to explore kind of why humans
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  are wired to chase moving.
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  Targets in the first place.
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  And this this part gets really. Fun and interesting for me.
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  So I may geek out a little bit on you next time.
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  But I think it's really important to learn. Like, you know, the.
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  Psychology behind it, the science behind it.
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  Like why it's why we are the way that we are.
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  Because the more that you understand yourself, the more that you.
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  Can see those patterns. And,
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  you start to become a whole lot more comfortable with who you are
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  and give yourself grace where you need grace, right?
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  So until next week.
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  Maybe you're allowed to pause.
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  Just a thought.
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  All right, so I will see you next time.
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  I'm Christen with ISeeStarsQuilting.com.
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  Please make sure that you are following my channel on YouTube.
• 10:03
  And thank you so much for listening to the Loose Threads and Stitchers podcast.
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  I love this time with you.
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  I love it just sitting down. And.
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  Sharing things with you, getting to have these conversations.
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  And open up these lines of communications where we're. Just talking.
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  About creativity, we're just talking about, how our minds work and, digging.
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  Deeper into.
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  The mind of a beautiful, wonderful. Creative.
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  So I hope that you have a.
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  Wonderful rest of your week, and.
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  I will see you next time.
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  Bye. You.