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Warfighter Overwatch: Danny O'Neel's Journey through Leadership, Healing, and Veteran Advocacy · Your Thoughts Your Reality

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Welcome to your Thoughts, your Reality with Michael Cole, the podcast that shines a compassionate light on the journey of veterans battling through life's challenges.
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Michael is a dual elite certified neuro encoding specialist in coaching and keynote training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuroencoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: Hello, hello, hello everybody.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: So today, super excited to have my friend back on, danny O'Neill.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Danny was born and raised in Northern California.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: He enlisted in the Army at the age of 19, on 9-11.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: He was not messing around.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: He quickly rose through the ranks to sergeant and squad leader in just 17 months.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: He's a proud owner of Kinetic Ink Tattoo and Kinetic Throats and chairman of the board of Warfighter Overwatch, which we were just talking a whole bunch about.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: So excited to touch base on that as well today.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: It's a nonprofit dedicated to supporting veterans, so, alongside his wife, fawn, danny has committed to combating veteran suicide and aiding veterans in transition to civilian life.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: So, danny, my friend, tell me a little bit more about yourself or our listeners that aren't familiar with you yet.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for having me on.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: So, as you stated, I was born and raised right here in Northern California.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: I was born in Stockton.
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: I graduated high school in Sacramento in 2000.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: I was working for a highway construction company in Livermore when September 11th 2001 occurred.
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: I quit my job that morning and enlisted in the Army as a forward observer.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: And enlisted in the Army as a forward observer and essentially what that means is I'm an artillery guy who goes with the infantry and does a math test in the middle of a gunfight.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: To call for bombs, artillery mortars, air support, naval gunfire, literally anything that blows up, is kind of our gig.
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: It's very strenuous, it's a high stakes job but at the end of the day it's very rewarding.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: The bonds that you forge even while training, let alone in combat during traumatic events, is second to none.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: I have a great military family brotherhood that I'm a part of, and I'm grateful for that.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: It's kind of led me to where I'm at today.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fantastic.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: And what you've done with your I won't call it charity, but your organization, it's absolutely fantastic.
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: And again, we were talking about that some more.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: So, if you are ready, let's go ahead and dive in.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's do it.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: All right, excellent.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: So just before we do, guys, top right-hand corner, there's a blue QR code there.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Please go scan that if you're listening on podcasts later on it's empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: Again, empowerperformancestrategiescom.
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: There's a couple of free books I wrote.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: There's lots of valuable information there and resources.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: So please check that out for you guys.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: So, leadership and values how did your experience in the military shape your approach to leadership and the values, especially you uphold today?
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Because I know it has a lot to do with who Danny O'Neill is.
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: Absolutely so.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: When you first enlist in the military, the first thing that the drill sergeants do, besides yell at you, is try to implement these values in your life and the ones that the army did.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: There's an acronym that coincides with it, and it's loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integrity and courage.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Now, if you line up those words and look at the first letter, it's L D, r, s, h I P.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: Every single one of those values is corny and cheesy as it sounds.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: I try to live my life by every single day, and you know, it's something that I learned, you know, 23 years ago.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Now, geez, I'm getting old, but at the end of the day, these are the same things I want to pass on to my kids, right?
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: So those values are the bedrock foundation of being a good leader, right?
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: You're loyal to your team, whether that's your family, your military team, your.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: You know the coworkers, you know you do your job, you do your duty when it's you don't pass the buck, and initiative is a big part of that.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: I don't need to wait for someone to tell me what needs to be done.
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: I can see it needs to be done.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: I take initiative and I do it.
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: Um, obviously, respect is a huge thing when it comes to to being a leader.
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: I want my guys to know that they work for their family.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: They don't work for me, right, and so, uh, that's, I think, huge for them to understand that I value them.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: But I want them to make sure they understand that their role is vital in the accomplishment of our goals as a team, and so all of those things work together to make a good leader, and my drill sergeant made sure that I learned those values and it definitely shaped not only my ability to be a leader, but the military straightaway forces you to be right.
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: So if you've been in for six months, you go through your initial training, you get to your unit.
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: Once you become a you know an E2 or a private first class E3, well, you're going to get a new guy in in a month or two and you're going to be in charge of him, and that can be scary in the beginning, but all you're doing is making sure he's in the right place, right time, right uniform so he doesn't get in trouble.
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: It means you're accountable, you're responsible, and they start teaching those immediately.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: So it's a fantastic organization skills.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: That's awesome, and a lot of times when military you know come out, they struggle with the uniform compared to who they are now.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: Right, and one of the things that I work with people a lot is that transition.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: So you know, use those skills.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: They're in you and a lot of military veterans don't realize they're there and how they can be used in real life.
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: So thank you for bringing that up.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: So let's go to resilience.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: I know these are important ones for you.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: So what strategies do you find most effective in teaching resilience to veterans who are transitioning into civilian life?
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: So we don't need to reinvent the wheel.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: I believe that resilience is something we're all capable of and it's innate inside of us, but we don't realize that, and I believe this what's inside of you is greater than what's in front of you.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Whatever adversity you face, your ability to adapt will reveal your character right.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: It will.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Adversity you face.
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: Your ability to adapt will reveal your character right.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: It will show you that you're able to accomplish things despite having adversity, despite having to overcome obstacles, and when you're in the military, you learn that very quick.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: Again, in the very beginning portion of you becoming a soldier, transitioning from a civilian to a service member, they are going to yell at you, they're going to force you to do things that are uncomfortable, but they want you to accomplish a task and do so during chaotic situations so that it doesn't feel overwhelming.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: When you're in a chaotic situation, you fall back on your muscle memory, right.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: So I believe that we don't rise to the occasion.
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: Generally, we fall to the level of our training and so the ability to learn these things in the military when you transition.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: For me, it's just about teaching them to tap into that resiliency.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: We don't learn.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: You know pretty much anything from everything going right and going our way.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: We learn a ton from falling on our face, from failing.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: So the best thing I could do is tell them to bet on yourself that you are capable of doing whatever it is and you can accomplish this.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: So if you, if you realize that you can't do everything by yourself you need support Sometimes, ask for help when you need it You're going to be very resilient.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: You're going to figure things out right.
• 7:55
  Speaker 3: Like as a parent, I don't want to fix my kids' problems.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I want to either give them a couple options or see what they come up with as potential solutions, and then let them try and fail and learn and then adapt.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: And that's the best thing I could do to get these service members transitioning to tap into that warrior spirit.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, and that's fantastic, because most people don't realize that and they beat themselves up for messing up or screwing up or failing.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: In a sense, you only fail if you don't learn from something and move forward from it.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Right, that's just, that's a nugget, right there, danny.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's so interesting how a civilian I mean I think it's a human condition, first of all that we do that right.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: It's oh, man, I screwed up, oh, I didn't do that right.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: And beat ourselves up instead of saying you know what I tried?
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Woohoo, celebrate, I learned from it.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: And how much further am I going to get next time?
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: How much further up the ladder am I going to get next time?
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: Right, that's exactly right.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: You know, please.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: Well, the, the, the, like you said.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: So, when we have these things in our lives, that can be complicated and multi-faceted problems, not just some simple easy fix.
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Uh, it can be difficult or overwhelming sometimes.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: But I think something you said was very poignant and it reminds me of essentially this we're not a failure unless we quit.
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: But if we quit, then we're a quitter and a failure, and I don't want to be either one of those things.
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: Right, so we'll never know what that top of you know, what the top of the mountain, what that view is like if we quit along the way.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: But if we keep pushing one step after another, one foot in front of the other, and continue to push, we will get to see that view, we will get to the top of the mountain, we will get to enjoy the fruits of our labor.
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: But you know it doesn't mean that the results are the um, the exact way we pictured them, or that you know we uh have everything worked out for us, but we're not going to be where we started, that's for sure.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: Amen, amen, and I'm going to add to that as well.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Enjoy the journey up the mountain, because once you get up there, how long does it last?
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: Oh, it is something you cannot forego, right, and I'll tell people this.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: Ok, so the highest point on this earth is Mount Everest.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: You get up there.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Can you stay there?
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Can you build a home there?
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: No, you'll die.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: So you've got to leave.
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: You can't stay there.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: And that's the way it works.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: It's ebb and flows, ups and downs, peaks and valleys, and don't forget that, because that really is the process we have to enjoy, even the lulls, absolutely, absolutely.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: So can we talk a little bit?
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Give us I want to hear about Danny O'Neill now.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: I'm going to, I'm going to go a little deeper Give us a time where you know a personal story, if you will, of a challenging moment during transition or after, but that you were going, oh shit, this sucks.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I don't want to keep moving forward, but you pushed yourself and you, you know, made it through.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, a hundred percent.
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: So there are many, many times and instances or scenarios that I could describe to the viewers.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: But I'll tell you this I went through, first off, transitioning from the military did not go the way I planned.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: I thought I was going to spend 20 years and retire from the military.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: I was injured, I had problems and the army said you're not good for another tour.
• 11:07
  Speaker 3: So I had to find a purpose afterwards.
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: Well, I didn't find it right away.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: I struggled and so I drank to deal with my problems.
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: To, you know, try to suppress the thoughts or the, you know, the nightmares that I was having, the PTSD symptoms that were occurring in my life.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: And you know, I had this six figure job, I'm working for a fortune 500 company, but now I'm getting divorced, I'm I'm not doing well at work.
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: Well, I was excelling at first, but then I started falling off because of my, my issues.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: They were starting to permeate every facet of my life.
• 11:41
  Speaker 3: So, you know, I quit my job, I go through a divorce and, you know, I moved back home, uh, to California, and I needed that, I needed to number one.
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: Believe that I could make it, uh, you know, even without the support that I had, you know, at that time and starting over seemed very daunting.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: Right, I had worked my whole life to position where I'm making good money, I can take care of myself and I'm in a position of, you know, I'm a supervisor and the sky's the limit in this company that I'm working for and the sky's the limit in this company that I'm working for.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, I'm literally falling apart at the seams because of my inability to number one.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: I wasn't processing the trauma that I had been through and I had a very chaotic deployment.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: We lost nine guys, two of them the day we left.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: I've had 50 suicides since I've come home, but that had just started right, the suicides had begun not long after we got back and I didn't.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: I was separated from the military.
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: I didn't feel like I had that support system anymore.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: My team was gone, I'm separated from them, and it felt very alone uh, you know, just isolating.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: And so for me it was the ability to.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: Well, I had to get grace from someone and that ended up coming from my wife, fawn.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: So I remarried, but at the time we were dating and she found something worth redemption in me and I've always put my team first, and in this case, the team is my family.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: But I need to put myself first.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: So when I was vulnerable and asked for help, I was terrified that people were going to judge me and I was going to fall apart and cry in front of this therapist or doctor.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: And even if that's what happened, it helped, it made me feel better, it took some of that burden, that weight, off my shoulder and at the end of the day, I'm able to.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: I still go to therapy.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: It probably will be lifelong Right, but you know, my combat tours were were bloody, they were deadly and they were.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: There's something that is going to stick with me for the rest of my life, but I don't shun that and I'm not ashamed of it Like I felt before.
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: Instead, when I went and got help, I found people who genuinely wanted to see my quality of life improve, who really wanted me to be better than I was, and self-improvement is the best thing that I could give my family, my friends, my community.
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: So, instead of saying I'll die, how about I'll live for you?
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: And that's what I started doing.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: Can you just really quick?
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: Can you share the story about the dog tags?
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: So every morning when I wake up, before I even go to the bathroom, I put these dog tags around my neck and they have the nine names of my brothers who were killed in 2006.
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: We were at Fob Rustamaya and Fob Hope, right outside of Sauter City, and it's a suburb of Baghdad.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: At the time, it was the most deadly place on earth, and what I'll say is these guys remind me that I'm alive, that I'm still breathing, and until I'm gone, I'm going to continue to live a life worthy of their sacrifice and try to exemplify the values that they lived and died by.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: And so I know that they don't want me to drink and have a horrible life and, you know, have all this self-loathing.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: Instead, they want me to enjoy the freedoms we fought for and enjoy every day that you know they gave up all of their, their tomorrows for my today, and I'm not going to waste it, and I was for a while.
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Damn you, danny, damn it.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Chill man Every time.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: You, danny, damn it.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: Chills man every time you talk about it.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: Um, it's such a beautiful tribute.
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: It's such a beautiful way to live your life.
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: Um, literally, I have chills across my body, man, and it's.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: This is fourth time I've heard the story, or or have.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's stuck.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: You know, it's just stuck and I needed to bring it out again because it's so vulnerable and it's so freaking real.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: You're an amazing man, you're an amazing man, thank you, I appreciate it.
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: Every time you ask me I can pull them out, because this is real, I really do, I know.
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: I better never and I know I won't ask about the story and then not be there, but I know they won't.
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: I know better but seriously about the story and then not be there, but I know they won't, I know better.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: But seriously, it touches my heart every damn time.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I hear it.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: Man, it really does.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: It really does.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: You're an amazing, amazing man and to take what you went through, learn from it and improve your life and everybody around you.
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not just talking about your family.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about Warfighter Overwatch.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about me.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: I'm not just talking about your family.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about Warfighter Overwatch.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about me.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about Susan down there is probably crying right now.
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: I almost guarantee it.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: It's just an amazing tribute, man, and what you've done with your life and thank God Fawn kept that space for you you found yourself and you've turned it around.
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Man, it's awesome to see brother.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: It is awesome.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: She gave me everything I needed to believe in myself again, and I'll tell you that's that's one of the hardest parts, because I couldn't believe that I had gotten to a point so low where I was willing to take my own life because I thought I would never get off the cycle Right.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: I felt like I felt like the only thing I brought to this world was death and destruction.
• 16:54
  Speaker 3: I was good at that and not much else.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: And the truth is I have purpose.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: I'm here for a reason.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: I survived my IED attack.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: I survived the things that occurred in my life and the you know, the people shooting at me and trying to kill me, so that I could be here and tell the story, so that I could talk about, you know my brothers and really honor them in a way that was hopefully inspiring to others.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, and it is, it is brother, it is.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: In fact, we have multiple people crying, apparently from the pop-up there.
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: So, thank you, and that's obviously not the point, but it is just a beautiful thing you do, man, all right, we good.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go, all right.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: So, role of family, speaking of FOM and we do need to get her on here I would love to have you both on here and talk about that.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: You know, this is really about veterans and their families, so I'd be honored if we could bring her on someday, if she's up for that, of course, absolutely.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: So how important is the role of family, especially in the support during the transition process and even now today?
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: Right, what advice do you have for families supporting their loved ones?
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: All right.
• 18:02
  Speaker 3: First off, you're invaluable.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: You are their support system when they get out of the military.
• 18:07
  Speaker 3: As I just described, my brothers were in Florida or Texas or Georgia or wherever in California.
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't have them next to me the same way I had in combat.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: And when you have someone that you trust with your life, it is and your legacy after if you potentially are killed.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Right, that's a huge thing to be able to kind of put on someone else.
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: But what Fawn did for me was carry the load when I couldn't.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: When you know, she carried this 200 pound man through the day when I didn't.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: I couldn't carry myself sometimes, and so, to be to be honest, I wouldn't be here without her.
• 18:43
  Speaker 3: If I was doing this on my own, I would have succeeded in a suicide attempt and I would have stopped, uh, living my life and the amount of people that we've helped together since, uh, my suicide attempt is, I couldn't even give you a number or a guesstimate, right, but what I can say is we've saved lives.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: She saved mine and now it's now it's my opportunity to turn around and help the next guy.
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: Right, and we call her the grunt whisperer.
• 19:09
  Speaker 3: She talks to guys, uh, and makes them.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: You know, she's like, uh, this just omnipotent motherly entity in their life that can, that can help them see their path forward when they're in this darkness and they just can't see the light.
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: And she's like, listen, I promise that if Danny can do this, anyone can do that.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: I'm not special, I'm not special, I'm not.
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: But what was special was what Fawn gave to me and that grace and the grit that she had to force me some days to get my ass up, to go to therapy or to go do something other than sit on the couch and swallow pills that the VA gave me.
• 19:46
  Speaker 3: So I don't take the pills anymore, not because, uh, sometimes they helped and sometimes they didn't, but I didn't, I don't need it anymore.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: The point of them was to get me to a place where I didn't need them, and that's where I'm at.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: So I I utilize self-care, not when things go bad all the time, I utilize self-care every week, it's a part of my routine.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: So then, when things go bad, I know that I have that coming up.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: I know that I'm going to go do something for me to remind myself that, number one, I'm worth it.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: Number two, I deserve time.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: Uh, and again, if I'm not taking care of myself.
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: It's like it's same thing when you get on a plane and they describe, you know, a drop in pressure, cabin pressure.
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: You have to put on your own mask before you help someone else.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: This is no different.
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 20:29
  Speaker 3: I have to take care of myself so that I can take care of my family.
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: If she wouldn't have given me that grace, I wouldn't be the engaged dad that I am, I wouldn't be the fun loving parent that I am, I would be isolated and I would do kind of what my dad did and I hate to say that because I love my dad.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: But my dad sat in his room and he didn't want to talk because there were things that were going on in his head that he didn't know how to get out, and you know I get it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: He didn't want to share that with his kids and I understand that part wholeheartedly.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: But at the end of the day, my dad needed help and support and Vietnam veterans didn't feel like they have it.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: Well, I do have it and I'm not going to waste it.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: I utilize it and I make these other guys do it too.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: The people who generally say no, that stuff's for someone else, let them use it.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: It's my grunts, it's these infantrymen who were in the gunfights, who were, who saw their friends bloody and burned, and they say, nah, you know, parsons doesn't have legs anymore, he needs to go get the help.
• 21:19
  Speaker 3: Parsons is married and has two kids.
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: He's living a great life.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: I promise you need help and you need to get it now.
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: And I'm not accepting no as an answer.
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: If we weren't good at something like pushups, you get some asshole like me in charge of you.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: You're gonna be the subject matter expert on pushups.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: Well, guess what?
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: Now it's mental health's turn, and now we've got to do something.
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: I love it, I absolutely love it and feel that passion.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: Everybody Feel that Love it and I think a lot of it is they don't want to go to therapy, they don't want to relive it.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: They don't want to bring that up, even though sometimes you have to get uncomfortable.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: You always have to get uncomfortable to be comfortable with something, and I don't care if that's going to the gym in the morning, anything.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: That's just the reality.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: That's just the reality.
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: And getting leverage over yourself on how much pain am I going to go through to get that pleasure?
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: That pain, pleasure principle is everything.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: It's that leverage.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: So we'll talk about that more later.
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: All right, so combating veteran suicide I mean, this is what it's all about.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Right, this is what you're all about.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: So what initiatives have you found most effective for combating veteran suicide?
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: And, even as important, how does community play a role in that?
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm glad you touched on that.
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: So it's twofold One, you got to have purpose, you got to have a reason to get up every day, and two, you got to have a connection to others.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: So our connection to other people allows us to feel seen, heard, included.
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: We don't feel isolated, alone, we don't feel like we have to hide this part of us or our history, our past, because you know, what you just described is pandora's box and it can be so terrifying to open that right, because once I've shut up down in there, I've compartmentalized.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, except, these things trigger me, they bring up those memories, smells, sounds, all those things bring me right back to the moment of you know, when this stuff occurred.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: Stuff occurred.
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: So if I have purpose, if I have a reason to get up every day, whether it's for me warfighter, overwatcher, kinetic anger, kinetic threads, or my kids or, you know, my family or myself, right Cause, if I asked you this all the things you love how long would it take you to get to yourself?
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: Well, at one point the answer was never.
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: I would have never gotten to myself, it would never.
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: Would have never gotten to myself, it never would have been.
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: But that's just not the truth anymore.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: And, even more importantly, when I started connecting with my community, when I started doing things with warfight well, even before warfighter overwatch when we started connecting with the community to get them to help other veterans and first responders, I found my, my tribe.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: I found people who had been through things like me and I wasn't alone.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: I found people who had been through similar experiences, understood what I was going through and I, I was there to be to reciprocate that for them.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: You know, and it's a brotherhood or sisterhood that I just I can't really articulate what it means to me, except for I promise you it's another family for me.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know the word tribe.
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: It is so prevalent in my life now.
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: When you find that family, that chosen family, if you will, it's, it's absolutely a game changer, you know.
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: So reach out Warfighter Overwatch.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: I think Susan just put the fact.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: I'll pop it up again.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Check it out.
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: They're doing amazing things.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: They're there for you.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: You know we have multiple Facebook group pages for families and veterans.
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: You know, join them, get out there and join them.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: It's so important to not go into solitude because from my experience, that's kind of the last checkout point 100%.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Because when you go into yourself and you know your thoughts, your reality is no joke.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: There's a reason why the podcast is named that right.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: So you know when you're, you know your thoughts, your reality is no joke.
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: There's a reason why the podcast is named that right, so you know when you're just in your thoughts and there's no one else putting any golden nuggets in there, any of the good stuff, that's when you're in trouble.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: So reach out, reach out to warfighter overwatch.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Um, looks like susan's popping up some other ones as well.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: So, um, thank you for for sharing that.
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: Uh, as far as, like you know, talking about finding a purpose and moving forward, and you know that's what, again, this is about is getting out of the shit, moving forward and finding that purpose.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: So you have Warfighter Overwatch Amazing.
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: You've also, you know, owner of Kinetic Ink Tattoo, awesome Kinetic Threads, you know.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: So how does that play a role in you progressing?
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: You know, let's move to the positive side of this and let's say, hey, fawn, thank you, thank you, god.
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: You're heaven sent right For what you do and what you've done, what you're going to do even more so.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: What's that change for you?
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: As far as that moving forward, finding that path forward, if you will, through entrepreneurship.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: So I get to be part of a team.
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: I get to be.
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: I get to utilize the leadership skills that I learned.
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: I get a.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: At the end of the day, I get a look at what we've built and know that I didn't do this alone.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: I had not only these people who work in this in the shop with me, but I have the community who comes and supports my business.
• 26:17
  Speaker 3: Right, and listen, I can't draw my stick figures or crap.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: Right, I own the shop because it's a paid shop on the planet.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: This is free marketing.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: My mom, my neck being tattooed, you understand.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: But I also tattoos on my knuckles that say selfless, because that's how I live my life.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: And every day when, when I get to go to work and see, uh, my brother's pictures are on the wall in there.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: So I don't have pictures like nudity and stuff on the walls or other art.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: What I have on there are people who gave their lives in line of duty, whether they're first responders or military veterans, and I tell their stories, I say their names.
• 26:48
  Speaker 3: That gives me purpose.
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: This is part of it.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: Right, and every tattoo that at Kinetic Inc, I donate a portion of the proceeds to Warfighter Overwatch.
• 26:55
  Speaker 3: It's all connected.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: The people we tattoo are veterans, first responders, their families.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: We tattoo everyone, but I would say that's probably 70% of our business and so obviously that's a niche for us.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: But, more importantly again, I get to remind these people you don't work for me, you work for your family.
• 27:11
  Speaker 3: This isn't I'm not here to dictate or micromanage or do anything like that.
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: At the end of the day, I'm here to encourage you to continue to grow as an artist, as a person, as an individual, to be part of something bigger than yourself, to be part of the community.
• 27:22
  Speaker 3: Because the tattoo shop is so much and so we talked to one of the folks over there we're getting donations brought to and I use a tattoo shop for this and the kinetic threads of the t-shirt printing company, right, so come drop off canned goods or non-pressurable foods and stuff that we can put in the pantry for these families, and that's just a small token of our appreciation, but it allows people to feel connected to that, they get to help, they get to be that bridge for these people and it allows them to be part of something special.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: And you're like wait through a tattoo shop?
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: And the answer is yeah, absolutely through a tattoo shop.
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: And so not only do I get to be a part of something that's so special, but, you know, I get to be the face in the mouth of it, and and it reminds me that, um, I it's so important to remain humble because, uh, there's people who are going through real hardship out there.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: And I know what that's like.
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: I know what it's like to not have food, I know what it's like to not have money and and struggle and worry about what's going to, what tomorrow is going to bring.
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: And so, if we can, if we can help these people, specifically people who have sacrificed for the rest of us, man, it's my, it's part of my duty, and that goes back to the values, right.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: That's fantastic, yeah, and leadership you know when you're, when you have a business and it's you put it on hey, this is how you're going to grow.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: Make it important about your family.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: That's this is how you're going to grow.
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: Make it important about your family.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: That's leadership as well.
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: So it's a little bit of both there.
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: Awesome, awesome.
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: So Warfighter Overwatch tell us a little bit more on how it has impact specifically on their lives.
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: And we're going to run late on this because I just saw what time it was.
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: I don't give a crap, I own the place.
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: We're going to talk about it so let's talk a little bit more about that, if we can.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: So Warfighter Overwatch is a veteran and first responder, as well as their family's nonprofit, and what we do is we have programs that will pay for folks to go to therapy.
• 29:31
  Speaker 3: If let say, for example, uh, you're a firefighter, you had a bad critical call and now you need to go to therapy, but your agency only covers five visits, well, that that means it's probably not enough, right?
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: We're talking about like a three-year-old drowning and now you're not doing good with the pool at your house and your three year old at home you need to go to therapy.
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: Well, we'll pay for you to continue to go.
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: If you need to go to inpatient therapy, we have a great relationship with First Responder Wellness down in Huntington Beach we will send you down there.
• 29:59
  Speaker 3: This is all cost-free to our veterans first responders, right?
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: So let's say you got hurt.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: Let's say you were a highway patrol officer and you got into an accident.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: Or someone rear-ended you while you were sitting on the side of the freeway and you got a broken back.
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: Well, then you got addicted to pain pills and now you're struggling, right.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: Or or alcohol as well.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: You don't want to go to a treatment facility with someone you arrested for their addiction issues, right.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: So we're aware of this, and being cognizant of that means that we do things to protect these um, these folks in this, this community.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: So we send them to a place specific for them.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: That way they don't have to feel ashamed, they can really grow from their experience.
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: What does that do?
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Well, that helps the community.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: When they go back out on patrol, when they go back out to do their job, they have empathy for someone who's been through that right.
• 30:46
  Speaker 3: And so Warfighter Overwatch just essentially gives our community an opportunity to play a role in the success of our veterans and first responders, as well as their families, and we do that through.
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: There's a variety of programs.
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: Every program is based on a need that we found right.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: So during COVID we found that what we call docile, or like their harmony in the house.
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: They had problems, they had issues right.
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: Some people found out they didn't really like their spouse.
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: They just hadn't spent a whole lot of time with them because of work and so now there's a very high divorce rate.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: at that point I remember.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 31:22
  Speaker 3: So we want, like we want, to be able to work on communication skills.
• 31:26
  Speaker 3: So we have educational days for spouses to come in and learn from what we call culturally competent clinicians, people who have done the job or who are married to it and understand the traumas that go along with it.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Okay, and then how?
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: So that will help their communication, their intimacy, their, you know, give them things like date nights and opportunities for them to grow together as a couple and be empathetic towards their spouse, whether it's the spouse at home dealing with the kids and that stuff, or the spouse who goes to work and know deals with the chaos out there.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: And then, you know, how can we affect change so that they don't bring that home and give, you know, a secondary, uh, trauma to their family.
• 32:03
  Speaker 3: So warfighter overwatch has a number of programs whether it's paying for them to go to therapy hiking we teach people to fly fish, then take them hiking where they go.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: Try to catch a fish on the tide that they fly.
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: To the alpine lake uh, we have a valhalla hike where you have to train and we go up.
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: Your viewers are gonna.
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: I think they're the first ones to hear this.
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: I may have said it last time, but we got this year.
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: We have passes to um to half dome.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: We haven't publicized that yet, so we are going to be climbing half dome.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: It's a bucket list hike in Yosemite, but you have to train for it.
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: You want them to continue doing things that make them feel good.
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: That's not alcohol or drugs or risky behavior, but instead uh in, in my opinion, real idle things that will improve their day-to-day life, and warfighter overwatch is committed to doing that at cost, free for veterans, first responders and their families, fantastic, man.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Um yeah, and exercise, you know, is one of the best things we can do for our minds, let alone our bodies, you know.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: So that's fantastic.
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: I love that you put that together.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: That's really fantastic.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: And you know, neuroencoding is all about celebration and releasing all those good hormones.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: So you're looking for more of it, and that's how we set and condition what.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: What we're putting in, if you will, is simply by celebrating.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: It's a it's, it's super simple.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: So I love that you're doing that.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: So I want to see pictures of people patting themselves on the back all the way up the mountain.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: You know, just the other day I took so one of the chiefs asked me of one of our local agencies here in Sacramento and the chief said you know, what can we do to get these guys and gals prepared for the traumas that they're going to see on the job?
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: And I said, before they ever go on a call, you need to let someone talk to them, you need to help them truly understand kind of what it's going to be like.
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: And he said will you do that?
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: And I said, well, you do that.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: And I said yeah.
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: So we hiked up to Clementine Falls, uh, in Auburn and we when it's not a terrible, it's, it's a moderate, easy hike, if you will.
• 34:23
  Speaker 3: It's four miles there and back.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: It's not a big deal, but you sweat a little bit.
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: And when you get up there you're like, oh man, that's powerful.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: Look at all that water, this is gorgeous.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: And then I remind them like, listen, you're going to go through things.
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: It's not if you go through trauma, it's when you go through trauma.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Do you know who to call, do you know what to do?
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: Do you know how to process that?
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: And, even more importantly, when you're looking at your peer and you see changes in them, they're isolating, they're not doing the things they were enjoying before.
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: These are signs and symptoms that they're having some post-traumatic stress.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: So, identifying those symptoms, making sure that we're having these relationships with the people we work with, that allow us to say, hey, I see changes, I see things that you know are a little different or off.
• 35:05
  Speaker 3: I'd like to help you, I'd like you to help yourself, and this is how.
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: And so, if we can continue to do that before they ever go on their very first call, I think we're going to see a lot of changes, because what that shows is their leadership cares about their mental health, that they are invested in it and they're not going to say, you know, suck it up, drive on drink water, take Motrin, you're fine.
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: We're really going to address the problems that can create larger ones, because that kind of stuff it permeates the locker room, it permeates your patrol car, your fire engine, right At the station house.
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: So we need to make sure that number one, the brass is on board.
• 35:42
  Speaker 3: If leadership is involved and they're committed to helping that man, you feel like I can ask for help.
• 35:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not there's, the stigma is gone, and that's what we need to do.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: And Danny, let's talk off camera.
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: I want to be involved in that.
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: I would love to do some trainings with you.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: I'm involved in a group.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: We're not releasing anything yet, but we're going to be putting on an event, and probably Chicago will be the first event, and it's just giving skills to first responders and veterans about transitioning, moving forward, it's health, it's family, it's it's all these things.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: So, um, if you have have um people that are in need or want to train before, let me know, because that's yeah, just let's talk about it more when we get off.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: All right, um, so we are way blowing our time.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: Couldn't think of anybody better to do it with than danny o'neill.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: Tell you what.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: So, danny, um, let's real quick if we can.
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: How do people reach you?
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: uh, warfighter overwatchorg is our website, social media, facebook, instagram.
• 36:42
  Speaker 3: You can follow what we're up to.
• 36:44
  Speaker 3: We have a golf tournament, uh, on monday, june 17th.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: We got a cornhole tournament.
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: We have, uh, bullets barbecue and boots uh coming up.
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: It's another fundraiser we have.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: And then the gala is a special night.
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: It's going to be September 10th or, excuse me, september 7th.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Uh, this year it's in Folsom.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: All the details for that will be coming soon, but uh, yeah, social media website and they can find out our programs, how to get involved.
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: Awesome and I can't wait for the, for the gala man Can't wait for the, for the gallon.
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: Man Can't wait, all right, everybody.
• 37:24
  Speaker 3: So, if we can, danny, I know we're way past time, but if you give us three quick tips to get veterans further faster can do hard things You've shown that you're capable of doing that, and nobody does it alone.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: Anyone who says that's a liar.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: So make sure you have a good support system to help you, encourage you and push you forward.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Love it, man.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Surround yourself with people that rise you up, not keep you stagnant or lower your expectations of life.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: Man, amen, love it.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: All right, we are out of here.
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: Thank you, danny.
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your thoughts your reality podcast with your host, michael cole.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerategiescom.
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.