Latest / The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World / What do I do when a leader I trusted falls (disappoints me spiritually) + Ways to help young people get involved in their callings without breaking the bank

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What do I do when a leader I trusted falls (disappoints me spiritually) + Ways to help young people get involved in their callings without breaking the bank · The Entrepreneur's Wife: Finding Purpose as the Helper of a Small Business Owner in a Feminist Obsessed World

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What is up, guys?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the Entrepreneur's Wife podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Carly Rains.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new here, this is a podcast where we talk all about finding purpose as the helper to our small business owner in this feminist obsessed world.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: It has been a while.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm gonna kind of update y'all and kind of talk about some things that has really been just on my mind and just some updates about our life and really helping you moving forward as the entrepreneur's wife.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Um based on these updates, like how you can really like set yourself up um for the life that you want and the life that God has called you to essentially fulfill.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like I repeat this over and over and over again when I give these testimonies, but it is just something that I stand so strongly in because I have seen the good fruit of it, and I don't want to ramble too long before getting into the nitty-gritty, so we're just gonna get started.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I just came back from doing the SAU Farmer Challenge.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: If you don't know what that is, that is a philanthropy event that I kind of am in charge of.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Briston's given me full the full reins of being in charge of it.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: That we host a race and we partner with our school that we went to college at, Southern Arkansas University, to fund the Overcoming Adversity Scholarship, which is a scholarship that funds student athletes at that school with disabilities.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because we were both student athletes at Southern Arkansas University.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: We ran D2 cross-country and track and field, and I have narcolepsy, so technically I was a student athlete with a disability.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And through uh my experience and through our experience at SAU, um, I just we just really wanted to give back.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we want to be more involved with the university, we want to be more involved as alumni.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: I when you are a student, and you like you'll understand this when you know you're when you were in college, if you went to college, one of the biggest things, at least for us in our industry, so Briston was business marketing and I was graphic design and marketing, was finding real life experience to kind of increase your portfolio.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so that way when you graduated, you had a job.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And something that like is a big desire for me is you know, do I think that every single person who turns 18 should go to college?
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, I don't, but I do see the benefits that if you strategically financially plan for school, you know, you set yourself up, like for instance, maybe if you can't afford Texas Tech, don't go to Texas Tech, right?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Go to a community college, go to a more affordable school.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if you really do want to go to college, I see the value of college, but don't be a fool, don't just go party and waste those four years, and don't go take out a lot of debt, you know.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's a way to do it, and I see the value of that.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I also see, you know, these students who are wanting experience, they're wanting to get their hands wet or dirty or however you want to phrase it before they step into the real world.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's really, really important because when I was a student, I had this plan of like, I want to go live in a big city and I want to go work for a design agency, and it was um, and guys, a great book that I recommend is a business Christian book, is called The Power of Who, and his name's Bob Buden or something like that.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: His first name's Bob, but The Power of Who.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my grandma actually gave me that book, and I read it, I think my freshman year, and it just like changed how I view networking, how I view it is just an awesome business book from the Christian perspective.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: So I highly recommend go read that book.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it just basically is saying, like, if you're trying to follow God's will, He is going to put the right people in your life to get you where you want to be.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not gonna have to force it, you're not gonna have to because sometimes these networking books, um, at least how the author has portrayed it because he's been in business for many years, sometimes the networking books can come across as like, how can I use you to get where I want to be?
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_00: And the author, Bob's whole point, is to say, like, we are givers, we're not takers.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we give and we serve more than we take.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that is something that I really want to show college students.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_00: I really want to show young people in general, um, is that your mission in life should be to serve.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like your mission after college should be like, how can I add value to people's life?
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: How can I serve them best?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: How can I put them first?
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And as long as I'm doing that, the doors that I want to open are gonna open.
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: And that's I actually so this this past weekend, I am so exhausted.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: So that's partly why I did not have not recorded episodes, is because I am trying to recover from a huge busy weekend on top of we have like two weeks until our baby's born, and so I it was just it was just a lot, and so getting ready for all of that.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: So Thursday, we went to Arkansas Wednesday night after Briston got off work.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Wednesday night we drove to my grandparents, and then Thursday I had a meeting with some design students, and if you remember, or if you've been following me on social media or LinkedIn, we are coming out with a book called Running with Faith.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: It is a children's book, it is um gonna be a cute little series, and it's gonna be a picture book, and I had wrote this book um when Briston, when the business hit five years, so last August, when the bus Brist uh sorry, when the business hit five years, I wrote this book, and Briston as an eight-year-old little boy, his name's Sawyer B.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Reigns, he's the main character, but he's based off of Briston.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I wanted to get it published.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we I had met with an illustrator, and we had it scheduled for it to release this year, June 1st of 2026.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: And she was gonna have it all illustrated, we're gonna market it, all the stuff.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I got pregnant, I was pregnant around the time that we were establishing all of this, um, like timeline and marketing and all the stuff.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the closer we got to 2026, the new year, the more I just was like, I don't think I can market this and give this time as well as I need to, because I'm having a baby April 1st, and it is crucial leading up to a book release that you market it well, and I wanted to do it well, I wanted to do it excellent, I didn't want to feel rushed, and so I ended up, you know, asking the girl that was gonna do the illustrations, hey, can we move it to 2027 and release it at the beginning of 2027?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, but you know, I I don't know if y'all have ever tried to like uh work with illustrators, but like they their some of their works.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: This girl that I knew the talk about the power of who my brother went to high school with her and she illustrates and paints and does murals and all this stuff full time.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Well, her workload is crazy, and so she just kindly responded and said, Look, like I have other projects that she really wanted to focus on and that she had scheduled with other clients, and it wasn't gonna work.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: And so I was like, you know what, thank you for being honest.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: So we separated, went our separate ways, all of that.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I was kind of bummed, but at the same time, I was like, you know what?
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Again, this whole idea of like if God closes one door, I know he will eventually open a window or another door down the road.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I just kind of sat on it.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's so funny too, guys, because in my head, like I felt like God was like, when we were trying to establish a publishing date, I felt like God was like 2027, 2027, 2027, and I kept pushing for 2026.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm sitting here now, like, okay, God, you knew, like, you knew in 2020 it needed to be 2027, and I was trying so hard to do 2026.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, anyways, I uh pushed it back.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I reached out to our um again, I was a graphic design student, so I our school um is D2, and so it's small enough to where you know your professors and they know you, but it's big enough to where you have like a good amount of students to choose from, you know, it's not like there's just four of you.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so I reached out to my old design professor and said, Hey, um, is there a student that wants to be an illustrator that's interested in illustrating a children's book?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I will say, just from a business perspective, this is a little side note, if you and your husband own a business, okay.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: College students, like I said, are looking for real life work.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I know because I've been there.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: So um, the nice thing about hiring a college student is number one, it is so cheap.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like some of them will do stuff for free because they have to, if you're a graphic design student, you have to build a professional portfolio before you graduate.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: That was like a requirement for us.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: We had to have real life work, not just our like class assignment work.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: We had to have like real life client work to present in order to graduate.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: And you had to have so much of it.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: And if you didn't, you were, they would probably hold you for another semester.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it was kind of sad.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: The students who didn't have anything, and they're like, Well, how are you gonna get a job?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you have to show your work to get a creative arts job.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: So, um, you might not even have to pay a college student, but they're looking for experience, they're looking to build a portfolio because they're wanting to hone in on their skills.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: You can do this in photography if you are doing an event and your budget is super low.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: I highly recommend going to a nearby college and saying, hey, we're doing this event.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I need a I need professional pictures.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a student who is interested in being a professional photographer?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um, who can do our photography?
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: Ask for examples, ask for work, you know.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: I or like a logo, or maybe you need them to build a website, maybe you need them to do your social media, maybe you need them to do XYZ.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_00: They're looking like they're looking for experience, guys.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: So they will thank you.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I've been there, and I was so thankful to the small businesses who reached out to the university and the professors would say, Hey, is anybody interested in this?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we literally, I think it was my freshman year, we had a new restaurant called Mule Kick opening up, and it was they came to us to design their logo.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: They were like, Hey, we want um the students at the college to design the logo.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: The restaurant is right near campus, it's gonna be completely based on like the college experience, all the stuff, and um, I got to like be a part of that, and even though my logo wasn't the the one selected, they actually really liked the design, and so guys, it's literally hung, it's on some of their merch.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, they used my design for some of their merch, they used my design as like this really cool metal banner thing that's hung in the restaurant, they've used it on social media, they've used it on different stuff, and I got to use that as like part of my portfolio, and then there was a gym um who in the in the town that needed like social media content and web design help, and I got to go and film and interview people, it's just just a great experience.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: They literally paid me like minimum wage, and um, it was just awesome.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: Our logo for the restaurant was actually turned into a class assignment, so it wasn't even like they had to pay us, like we did it for free for them.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: So just use your resources out there.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's a little side tangent.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: So, anyways, um I reached out to our professor about this book and was like, hey, what do you want to be interested in?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Number one, we're a small business, and my author budget, you know, even though we do make profit in our business, I really try not to um depend too much on Texas Outlaw to fund a lot of my author endeavors.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: It does have to for some expensive things like conferences and different stuff, but I really try to um get like side hustles or use money from my the few books that I have sold to fund those things just because for tax purposes, legal purposes, all that.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and so even for this, even though Texas Outlaw is involved in the book, I still want to try to, if I can, use money that I'm making from a different opportunity that popped up um to kind of fund this project.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so I reached out to my professor, he reached out to the students.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: There were five students interested, and I met with them on Thursday afternoon.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: They gave me their sketches, and it was so awesome, um, so exciting to meet them.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: And some of them are seniors, some of them are juniors, you know, they're they most of them are pretty much upper class.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah, that met with them, and that was Thursday afternoon, and then I met with my old college pastors um and went to their house, had dinner with them.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: They actually had like a college session that night.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: I attended that, and I went and saw my old bosses um at the university, spent time with them before five o'clock, and then I went home Thursday.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: So pretty much all Thursday afternoon I was out and about meeting people, talking to people, all this stuff.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, Friday morning, got up, course smart for the event.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so thankful for Sam.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: She's our new hire, Briston.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: Y'all, so Briston was out of town for this whole thing.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: He already had a trip planned, and I was like, and we had to move the this race because of weather.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: So this race was supposed to be like over a week ago, and we had to move it because of weather.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: So he was out of town, so I needed help because I'm literally big pregnant.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: SAU was so great.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I literally, their alumni employees, I am just so thankful for everything that they did.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: I basically just had to stand there and tell them what to do.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: They took care of like moving the heavy stuff and moving the stuff, and it was just awesome.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: So we set up all day Friday.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I went to lunch with my old college pastor's wife.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, all of that.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: We set up all day Friday, and then I had to get up at 4 a.m.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: Saturday morning um to drive to the race, get the you know, start set up, help the volunteers know what to do before the runners showed up.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_00: We hosted the race.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: It started at 8.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we didn't get done until lunchtime.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all, when we went to lunch, I went to lunch with my friend who ran the race.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was so exhausted.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was falling asleep at the lunch table, which I do have narcolepsy, but I was falling asleep at the lunch table.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_00: I was so tired.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, just the weight of the event being over was lifted, and it was it was great.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: It turned out really great.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: We raised more money than we have in past years.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_00: Um, this is our third year doing it.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: We raised$6,300.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_00: Last year we raised$4,500.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I'm just so thankful.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_00: We have to minus expenses, so that's one thing in philanthropy is like, even though you raise that much money, you have to subtract, like, okay, we gave out medals and we we gave out shirts, and we have these expenses that we have to subtract from, but we still will give more to the scholarship more than we have in the past, and that's the important part is we're funding this scholarship.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and it just makes me so happy.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: Just I just love it.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I say that to say I like slept all afternoon Saturday, went to bed so early Saturday.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thankful for my grandparents because they watched my daughter while I was resting.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: We go to church on Sunday, and then Sunday afternoon we meet Briston, we come home, and Monday was honestly just a rest day.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was so tired from the weekend, didn't really want to do much.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: Then yesterday I had to um do some stuff for Realm Makers, which is the writing conference that I am doing photography for.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know if I've announced that on here, but it's a Christian writing conference, and I get to do their photography.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I had to do some work for them.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I also do some graphic design volunteer stuff for them.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I did some work for them yesterday, catch up on some emails, um, just send out um my I do a monthly newsletter.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if you want to know what's up with our life, my all my writing life, my running life, you know, all the stuff, um, go to carlyrains.com, subscribe to the email list.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_00: I send out a newsletter once a month.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't overcrouch your eat your email, just once a month.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, had to send that out.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, just finish my class that I turned in a late assignment for because I was so exhausted over the weekend.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: And thankfully, my professor she gave me full credit for it.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I was so thankful because I was like, yeah, I just have to turn this in light because it was just a crazy weekend and a crazy week leading up to it.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: So today we're here, it's Wednesday.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and y'all, I'm gonna say this.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_00: I we found something out yesterday that has really broken my heart, um, but it has also really humbled me.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I grew up in church, and um something that I I struggle with, and and I think humans in general struggle with this, but something that I really do struggle with is I know God's love.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't I don't struggle with knowing God's love.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_00: I like the churches that I was raised in did a very good job at explaining God's love.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't have that void or that misunderstanding of God's love.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: What I do have a misunderstanding of is really fearing the Lord and Him being my master over my flesh.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_00: And this can get yourself in a lot of trouble whenever it comes to sin, whenever it comes to habits that are ungodly, whenever it comes to just thoughts and attitudes and just life decisions, because if you don't have the fear of the Lord, you can misuse grace.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: And it's very important that we, you know, I love what John Bevere says.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_00: He talks about the road, and he says, you know, Proverbs talks about this.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_00: We are supposed to be on the path of righteousness, like we are like the man in Proverbs, walking on this path of righteousness, and he said, the way you stay on the path is you have two ditches, and he said, one side of the road is the love of God, and it keeps you from falling in the ditch of legalism.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you know God's love, you're not gonna fall into legalism.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_00: He said the other side is the fear of the Lord.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: And he said it keeps you from falling into the ditch of lawlessness, of rebellion, of falling into sin and falling into pride because it reminds you of God's reverence and his authority and his position that we can so easily forget.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: And yesterday, um, I read a statement by a ministry that we have gone to their conferences.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: I know people who have gone to their school, they have like a Bible, three-year Bible school.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and we read a statement that one of their pastors, they have several pastors on staff at this school, at this ministry, and one of their pastors, um, four years ago, um actually had like sexual relations with a minor.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_00: And this this minor actually confessed, like now, so four years later, now they're confessing, hey, this happened, and then another one confessed.
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_00: So this, so there were two occurrences with two different minors um that this happened with, and of course, they the ministry terminated the pastor.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm I'm sure he's gonna go through legal actions.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what all that's gonna entail, but it broke my heart because I remember, gosh, five, six years ago, at least five years ago, I remember going to their conference and listening to this pastor speak.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: And something that I learned, um, we're gonna talk about compound in personal finance.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: They talk about compound interest.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's this concept where if you have a penny and you double it every day for 30 days, it will actually reach like a million dollars.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just doubling over time.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: And personal finance talks about like compound interest is your key with saving and investing and getting ahead and building wealth.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_00: It can be your great greatest avenue, your greatest tool, but it can also be your greatest downfall because if you think about debt and if you think about interest, it compounds over time.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're not paying on your credit card debt, on your student loan debt, on your whatever debt, it's compounding, it's adding up, and you're gonna owe more than you originally thought.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the same is true when we talk about decisions that we make in life.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_00: Every decision that we make essentially compounds, it stacks on top of one another and it leads us in two different directions.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: It can lead us to a life of godliness, a life that we want, or it can lead us down a path that of destruction and a life that we don't want.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember, you know, five years ago, I was a senior going to their conference.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: So I was 21, going to their winter conference.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: Briston and I were there, and um hearing him speak.
• 24:59
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, I think back, and if y'all know my parents' story, my mom cheated on my dad when I was a junior in high school, and so this was 10 years ago when she cheated on my dad.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_00: And my mom, they've restored their marriage, but she when she talks about that season that she was in, that state that she was in, she talks about the effect of compounding.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_00: And she says, you know, she'll talk about you don't just one day wake up and decide to cheat on your spouse.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: You don't just one day wake up and decide to get addicted to something, get addicted to alcohol, get addicted to drugs, get addicted to gambling, like get get get addicted to porn.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_00: Like, you don't just one day wake up and decide, oh, I'm gonna do this.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: She says it starts really small, it it starts very innocent, and she goes through her testimony of saying, like, first she started reading these adult books that had sexual content in it, and then she started watching the ID channel that had marriage affairs and murder and all this content in it, and over time it affected her internally to the point to where Satan could affect her her outward decisions, and so you know, I think about this pastor, and I was so heartbroken, y'all.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like yesterday, Briston was like, he gets home from work, he's like, What's wrong?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong?
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I was like, why another one?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like we went through the whole Robert Morris thing, um the whole that whole thing, and now we're seeing this, and and I told Briston, I said, it is so humbling because it it put me in check.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was like, okay, Carly, you never get to a point in your walk with the Lord to where you are above reproach.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_00: You never get to the point to where you're not gonna be tempted, you never get to the point, like, don't let pride creep in.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't think, oh, that's not gonna be a temptation for me.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's not, that doesn't affect me.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you better watch out because demons have been around for a very long time and our flesh is weak, guys.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_00: Our flesh is so weak.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_00: And going back to my mom's testimony, you know, I told Briston, I said, you know, basically, like, what I guarantee you he was addicted to porn before he decided to do this with these minors.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I wonder if when we went to the conference five years ago, what was going on that he didn't tell anybody about?
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_00: What struggles was he facing?
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what battles was he encountering?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And again, getting to the point to where it's saying, like, for us as leaders, because this is the Entrepreneur's Wife podcast, it really put me in check because it's like I never want to get to a point to where I'm too prideful not to confess what I'm going through.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I always that's something Briston and I really and I'm not I I'm not perfect at it, guys.
• 28:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's been times where I've struggled and I didn't tell Briston, and God has like convicted me very hardly of like confession is a beautiful thing.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_00: Scripture talks about confessing to one another so that we may be healed, so that we may be set free.
• 28:37
  SPEAKER_00: We have to create a space to where we can allow leaders, entrepreneurs, pastors, leaders to confess and say, Hey, I'm struggling with this.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because again, knowing my mom's story, he didn't just one day wake up and decide, hey, I'm gonna go do this with these kids.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like it compounded over time, and so that happened yesterday.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I didn't even like really want to talk about that in this episode, but it got brought up.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, yeah, I just I say all that to say that it's been very humbling.
• 29:21
  SPEAKER_00: Um it's just been a very humbling week.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know, y'all.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_00: I I just I want to encourage you.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna I'm gonna end with this.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: I want to encourage you to focus on serving um serving who you're called to serve.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: We like we in in our human flesh are such takers.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's the thing about sin, that's the thing about ungodliness, selfishness, is it just takes, takes, takes um for pleasure, it takes for selfish gain, it just it takes for self-glorification, you know, fill in the blank.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: And our professor, when I met with those design students, he said, Hey, you've been, you know, in the real world for five years.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, What advice would you give these students who are about to graduate?
• 30:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I just looked at them and I just said, My biggest thing is to serve people because I think as college students, and I think in our American culture, we have made it so much about ourselves.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you think about kids, like parents literally revolve their lives around their kids as if their kid is the main focus, like their kid's the main character.
• 30:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I've heard parents say, like, this is not biblical, like, kids need to know you're not the stuff, like you're not the main character.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I forget what pastor it was, but they were just talking about how they really tried to make their kids understand that their lives do not revolve around the kids, their lives revolve around doing the will of God.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_00: And if we raise our kids with them as the center focus, it's all about them, if you will, the solar system revolves around them, just like you know, we say the solar system revolves around the sun, everything points back to them.
• 31:22
  SPEAKER_00: If we make, you know, if we have that focus of it's it's them, it's them, it's them, then when they get to college, that's all they're gonna care about.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_00: They already are of the flesh.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like we already are of the flesh, so we already have a natural desire to be selfish and then on you know, add activities and sports and all these different things on top of it.
• 31:47
  SPEAKER_00: And and I think parents, like we have a good heart, you know.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_00: Briston and I are talking about getting Briley into dance in this next year when she turns two, and the stuff we want to get her involved in, and the life we want to give our kids, but at the same time, we're like, okay, we don't want to raise entitled kids, like we want to raise kids who understand that at the end of the day, it's not about them, it's about doing God's will.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_00: And when you go to college, there's just so much selfishness, like you, like you, I don't, I guess it's just a young person thing, but you just think everything revolves around you.
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_00: At least that was my issue at the beginning.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I just thought, oh, it's all about me, me, me, me, me, me, right?
• 32:34
  SPEAKER_00: And what job can I get?
• 32:37
  SPEAKER_00: And what salary can I make?
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, you have to pay bills, but I just wanted to encourage these kids, these college students, like, serve, add value to people's lives, and God's gonna take care of the rest.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I told them I'm Christian, so you know, I believe that God has a will for your life, and as long as you're serving and you're paying the hands and feet of Jesus and seeing people, like really see people, and you know, that's this, that's this thing about this pastor, okay?
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's like there were probably red flags.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: I I I I mean, I don't know.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is just my this is just my thinking.
• 33:25
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know because we have Holy Spirit and we have discernment and we have the wisdom of Holy Spirit, I I don't know if someone could blatantly be living in sin and Holy Spirit not be showing those people around them, hey, something's up.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I feel like because of what uh we went through with my parents, I look back, y'all, and I'm like, Holy Spirit was telling us this whole time.
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: We were just so ignorant and arrogant and distracted that we did not take the time to pay attention to the red flags.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_00: Like there were clear signs that Holy Spirit gave to my dad, to my brother, to me, before it got so bad that we just completely ignored.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_00: And then it got to a point where it's like, okay, this is gonna blow up.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_00: And even to my mom, like like my mom will say in her testimony, she will say, Holy Spirit told me that you have time, like you can make this right, and she refused from pride, and she kept it hidden, and so Holy Spirit got to a point where it's like, okay, you lacked humility to confess, so this is getting blown up, and it did.
• 34:51
  SPEAKER_00: The whole community knew about it, and it sucked for my mom.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_00: I will say, it's when when your sin, when this is the thing I'm learning through Robert Morris, through my mom, through this pastor, when you refuse to humble yourself and actually confess, like, hey, I'm struggling with XYZ, um, yeah, you you will get found out, and it's not gonna be pretty, to say the least.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was not pretty for our family.
• 35:17
  SPEAKER_00: It was not pretty, for her, it was especially not pretty.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_00: And thank God, you know, God is a redeeming God, He's not a condemning God, but He does not play with sin, like He does not play with things that go against Him.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: And this is going back to what I said at the beginning.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: I was raised in church, I understand the love of God, but sometimes I forget the fear of the Lord, and the fear of the Lord keeps you in check, and it says, Hey, God don't play around with this stuff.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: And um just going back to like serving people, I think if we always have that mindset of how can I like add value to this person's life, how can I serve this person through a humble heart?
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, it it it keeps us from being takers, and I think it guards our heart.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about the armor of God, and I'm I'm gonna end with the armor of God, but we talk about the armor of God, and one of the things on the armor of God is the breastplate of righteousness, and guys, everything that we say, everything that we do flows from the heart, like our heart is us, and it is either good, it is either a good tree, or it is a bad tree, and God can transform anyone.
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you look at Paul, God completely transformed Paul.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_00: Paul is this terrible Jew who killed Christians, and if if God can make this guy who is literally like ISIS and like killing Christians for their faith, if he can turn him around, he can save anyone and he can transform anyone.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: So you're not too far gone in your sin, you're not too far gone in being bad, if you will.
• 36:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but your heart essentially really shows like what is going on.
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: I think a good check for ourselves is to say, like, what is going on in my heart?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: What is going on in my thoughts?
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_00: How do I view people?
• 37:13
  SPEAKER_00: How do I view situations when something doesn't go my way?
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what is going on internally?
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_00: That is a great way to view, like, how am I doing spiritually?
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: How am I doing lining up with the fruits of the spirit?
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: And um, everything flows from the heart, and the breastplate of righteousness guards our heart.
• 37:31
  SPEAKER_00: So if we keep righteousness over our heart, and what is righteousness?
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_00: The definition the definition of righteousness is being in right standing with God.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: How do we be in right standing with God?
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_00: We be number one in right standing with God, we're covered by the blood.
• 37:45
  SPEAKER_00: How are we covered by the blood?
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_00: It goes back to the cross.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, I I've already I've already been saved, I've already been baptized, I've already prayed the sinner's prayer, I've already done all that stuff.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I just I just want to let you know it's not a one-time deal.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_00: When you when you go to the cross, it is a daily thing.
• 38:03
  SPEAKER_00: Like Jesus says, deny yourself, pick up your cross, and follow me.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_00: So if we want to be covered by the blood on a daily basis, protected by the blood on a daily basis, I'm not saying you're, and you know, this is a debate.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's a theological Christian debate.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: Once saved, always saved.
• 38:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not I don't want to get into that.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_00: What I am saying is that whether you believe in once saved, always saved, or not, you everyone can admit that they can fall into sin and they can stray away from the path of righteousness.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_00: Whether that means if they died, they'd go to heaven or not, whether you believe in once saved, always saved.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: You have seen people who have strayed away, genuinely following the Lord, get distracted, get prideful, get whatever, and it compounds and they're starting to stray away.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the breastplate of righteousness, right?
• 39:03
  SPEAKER_00: Being in right standing with God, how do we be in right standing with God?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_00: We're covered by the blood.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: How are we covered by the blood?
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: We have to be under Jesus' lordship.
• 39:11
  SPEAKER_00: How do we be under Jesus' lordship?
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_00: Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow Him.
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's literally, guys, I feel like maybe it's just because I'm in my 20s, I don't know.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_00: But I feel like every day I am constantly, God is constantly saying, deny, deny, deny.
• 39:31
  SPEAKER_00: Deny your passions, deny your pleasures, deny your desires, deny, deny, deny, deny yourself every day and be a servant.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_00: Every day he asks that.
• 39:51
  SPEAKER_00: We end up taking off the breastplate of righteousness.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_00: Again, Jesus humbled himself, endured the cross.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_00: He denied his will.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't want to go to the cross.
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_00: He denied his will.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it it a part of overcoming the flesh, I've learned this through my own personal walk.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus delivers you.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: I believe there is a spiritual deliverance that happens, whether that's at the moment of salvation, whether that's you seriously just need deliverance.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I also want to say, guys, which this is a whole nother topic that we don't have time for.
• 40:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, please consider when you're fighting spiritual battles, please consider your lineage.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like there are generational curses, and I believe that there are assigned demons and assigned struggles to your life based on your lineage.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're struggling with addiction to alcohol, look at your lineage.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, look at okay, did my father struggle with this?
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: Did my mother struggle with this?
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_00: Did my grandmother like divorce, sexual sin, perversion?
• 41:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, look at your lineage and don't be ignorant of that.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: Take that into consideration.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_00: And because what I found is a lot of times my struggles, my deep spiritual struggles, were generational.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_00: It was passed down from my mom, from my dad, from this person.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so my fight is it's very deep.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not just a one-time fix.
• 41:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because this is the thing, guys.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_00: The devil, if he can't not make you a Christian, that you know, he's gonna make your life like what this pastor's life was.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna try to make you a hypocrite, he's gonna try to make you distracted, to make you busy.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's gonna try, he's gonna try everything he can to make you not look like Christ.
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, whether that's through busyness, whether that's through sin, whether that's through XYZ.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_00: And they don't want you free.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like the the point of the gospel, I love, I love Briston because he did was not raised in church.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so when he explains the gospel, he says the point of the gospel is not to get to heaven.
• 42:18
  SPEAKER_00: That that's a result of the gospel.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's a result of it.
• 42:22
  SPEAKER_00: But but the point of it, why Jesus came was to set the captives free.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_00: Like he came to set us free from our sin.
• 42:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that that is the primary thing that Satan doesn't want.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_00: Whether you're a Christian or not, again, you could be going to heaven.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_00: But he also knows you're still living on this earth, you're still walking every day, and as long as he can keep you bound, he can keep others bound.
• 42:55
  SPEAKER_00: As long as he can keep you bound, your testimony, your anointing, your weight is not gonna be as effective.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, look at this pastor.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_00: Look at, and you know, I pray, like, like something that hit me too was when the whole Robert Morris thing happened, and I'm gonna end with this.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_00: There were people that were angry, y'all, that I knew.
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_00: Angry, like seriously angry, and it broke my heart because I was like, I'm not saying their anger was wrong, I know that there is righteous anger, and that might have just been their response to the situation because it is frustrating, like it is frustrating, but where I was very cautious was if we're so angry at this man that we forget that he's man, that he could fall, and we don't mourn the situation, we don't mourn his salvation, we don't mourn his straying away, we don't mourn the people that.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: That we're going to his church that now have left because of the situation.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: We don't mourn the victims.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_00: We don't, if we're not mourning and seriously like compelled and compassionate about the situation, I don't know if our hearts are in the right spot.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_00: Because when anyone falls into sin, and I've learned this, when anyone falls into sin, I don't know if our response should be anger.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like, like, I don't know.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_00: I at least where I'm at right now, I don't think it should be.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, there is righteous anger, and yes, there's frustration, and there's disappointment.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yes, be disappointed.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: But also, I feel like we should mourn for that person because that person is so broken, so lost, so XYZ, so prideful, so whatever, so misaligned with the Lord, that they did that.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: Again, think about it.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_00: Compound, compounding.
• 45:12
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't start with that action, it ended with that action, which means it started with if we're talking about this whole deal with men and and it happens with women too, and minors and all stuff.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it started with a thought.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: It started with probably looking stuff up that you shouldn't be looking up, watching stuff that you shouldn't be watching, doing stuff with yourself that you shouldn't be doing.
• 45:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like it started there, and it kept going and kept going and kept going and kept compounding and kept compounding.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all, if you've been with the Lord long enough, you know when you do something you're not supposed to do, the Lord gives you time to repent.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like the Lord gave them time to repent.
• 45:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, have we not mourned?
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_00: Look at the look at Samuel.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_00: I I think I think the prophet Samuel is such a great example because when Saul falls into sin, when Saul, the king, Saul the king, was anointed, he was anointed king.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_00: When he falls into sin, he disobeys the Lord.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and guys, his disobeying the Lord was just not killing everybody that he should have killed.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so he disobeys the Lord, and he is so prideful that he does not repent.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: And because of his pride, the Lord removes him as king.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_00: And y'all, this prophet Samuel is mourning for for Saul.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like he is so devastated by Saul's sin.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_00: He he's not, I'm sure he was frustrated with Saul, but his his like response was not anger.
• 46:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was not anger, it was it was he was heartbroken.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_00: He was like, Oh my gosh, you were this leader to these people, and you're supposed to lead them closer to God, and he was so heartbroken for the king, and the Lord has to go, Saul, I mean, sorry, Samuel, I have chosen a different one, and so I think that's such a great example that when we see leaders fall, I really think our response should be compassionate, heartbreaking, mourning response.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if it should be anger.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_00: And Paul gets angry with the religious leaders.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: So he so there is there so so I will say this there is a time, and Jesus gets angry with religious leaders, like he does get angry with them.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_00: So I do think there is a place for it.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: But when you know someone who was passionately following the Lord, and they get off, they start going down a path.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_00: Man, I think we should mourn.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: I think we should mourn.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: Very different episode for today, but uh that's all I got.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_00: So just a little update.
• 48:08
  SPEAKER_00: Be looking out for this children's book, Running with Faith.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: Um, it's a cute little Western story, children's book, picture book, and my goal is to have it out sometime next year, 2027.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_00: So be looking out for that.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we got some things in motion.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_00: I have a baby due April 1st.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_00: So this podcast, I'm gonna try to keep putting out consistent episodes, but I'm gonna be honest with y'all.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_00: If it slows down, just know I'm recovering from a c-section, and we will pick it back up definitely by May.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm gonna try to do once a week episodes in April.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I love you guys.
• 48:55
  SPEAKER_00: Let me hear your thoughts.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_00: Let me know your thoughts.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, his mercies are new every morning, but confession and just humility, repentance.
• 49:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's the important part.
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: Deny, deny, deny, serve, serve, serve.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_00: Love you guys, and I'll see y'all on the next episode.