Latest / Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily / The Pucking Wrong Guy by C.R. Jane - Slapshots and Situationships!

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The Pucking Wrong Guy by C.R. Jane - Slapshots and Situationships! · Lose the Plot with Carla and Emily

• 0:00
  Hi friends, you're listening to Lose the Plot with Carla and
• 0:03
  Emily. In this episode we're reading
• 0:05
  The Pucking Wrong Guy by CR Jane.
• 0:09
  We are talking about the entire book, so warning, there will be
• 0:12
  spoilers. I'm Carla, ready to Netflix and
• 0:29
  chill. I'm Emily.
• 0:32
  Strawberry frosting on my Dick. A Dick cake.
• 0:37
  Before we dive into this juicy episode, we have a tiny favour
• 0:41
  to ask. If you've enjoyed our previous
• 0:43
  episodes and want us to continue creating content, take a moment.
• 0:46
  Right now, click over to our profile and leave us a five star
• 0:50
  review on whichever platform you're using.
• 0:53
  All right, let's get right in with the trigger warnings.
• 0:58
  It's a good starting episode of Play School.
• 1:02
  I made these up on my own because I couldn't find them on
• 1:05
  the author's website. Cool.
• 1:08
  Oh, apparently T Apparently the author reposts one star
• 1:14
  Goodreads reviews in her private group.
• 1:17
  You know how people make groups for their own fans?
• 1:19
  Yeah, apparently she tries to roast them.
• 1:22
  So she's gonna love this? No.
• 1:25
  She's not one of those. She is.
• 1:29
  So they're my most hated author. I know.
• 1:32
  Just cry about it in the corner like everyone else.
• 1:35
  Don't whinge about one stars. Sometimes people just don't like
• 1:38
  your style and that's. Fine, that's.
• 1:40
  Fair. Roast.
• 1:42
  Me. Roast us.
• 1:45
  Just call us International roast.
• 1:49
  Anyway, so these trigger warnings, I made them up on my
• 1:52
  own, so if there's anything I forgot can you let me know?
• 1:55
  Me. Yeah, yeah.
• 1:57
  All right, so we got murder, Suicide, childhood neglect,
• 2:02
  sexual assault, mistaken identity, non consensual
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  marriage, purposefully getting someone drunk.
• 2:10
  So, like, I guess I don't know. Yeah, because it's kind of like
• 2:13
  drugging someone Almost. Yeah.
• 2:15
  Stalking, emotional and verbal abuse.
• 2:17
  Threats in violence, self harm, bulimia and eating disorders.
• 2:23
  Is there anything else you can think of?
• 2:25
  There's the word alpha male a lot in that.
• 2:27
  What? Yeah, it feels like a trigger.
• 2:29
  Really. Yeah.
• 2:31
  I don't. Remember that?
• 2:33
  I was just pretty glossed over it.
• 2:36
  Body shame. Mansplaining, Mansplaining.
• 2:42
  Body shaming. So that's it.
• 2:46
  Let's just get right in, 'cause I'm ready to be aggro.
• 2:49
  Straight up. I nearly text you about this
• 2:52
  'cause I was so fucking mad. Oh, I'm sorry, I.
• 2:58
  Didn't. Didn't text you 'cause I'm like,
• 2:59
  no, I'll just wait till it's. Almost like I picked this exact
• 3:02
  book to send Carla into a rage immediately.
• 3:06
  Immediately. Chapter. 1.
• 3:10
  There's a gala. Chapter fucking One I.
• 3:14
  To be. Fair She didn't like the gala.
• 3:16
  She didn't want to be at the gala.
• 3:18
  But. It was the gala.
• 3:19
  He was still a gala. Everywhere.
• 3:21
  But he was. In chapter one, it's almost like
• 3:23
  I thought. You were safe.
• 3:25
  I was safe. And I keep thinking I'm safe.
• 3:28
  Because. Last time it was like 75%
• 3:30
  through the book and I thought I was safe this time.
• 3:33
  Page 1 and it was like. Gala.
• 3:36
  So anyway, we've got our. Main female character.
• 3:40
  Her name is Layla Slash Blake. She had to go to a group home
• 3:44
  because her dad killed her mum and then killed himself.
• 3:48
  Yeah, piece of shit. So that was.
• 3:50
  All chapter one. It was a very traumatic time.
• 3:55
  And then why should we? Go into this group home, right?
• 3:57
  Yeah, sorry. Shouldn't.
• 4:00
  Be laughing. It's the caffeine.
• 4:01
  It's caffeine. Yeah.
• 4:04
  She's walking with this lady. And the lady at the desk is
• 4:07
  like, did they ever find out why he killed her in front of her?
• 4:10
  I'm like, right in front of her I'm going to talk about.
• 4:12
  Her parents murder while this small child is she's.
• 4:15
  Right there, right there, right there.
• 4:17
  It was a really depressing way to open a book, but here we are.
• 4:20
  One away. What a time.
• 4:21
  Yep. Not only.
• 4:23
  That. Yeah, she gets adopted by the
• 4:26
  Sheffields and they're assholes. They pretty much just adopted
• 4:31
  her because she looked aesthetic.
• 4:33
  I don't understand people who adopt children and then treat
• 4:36
  them like a burden. Like you didn't just spend
• 4:39
  thousands of dollars to adopt the child.
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  Because they're narcissists and they're like this child owes me
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  everything because they'd be living in the slums if it wasn't
• 4:47
  for me. That's how I imagine that.
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  The Shepherd. The head spinning.
• 4:57
  But the the interesting thing. So we learn a little bit about
• 5:00
  her, though, but she's just beautiful.
• 5:03
  She's beautiful. Conveniently.
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  She's a model. So we're supposed to feel bad
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  for her because she had this bad upbringing, but she's just a
• 5:11
  model, has rich foster parents. She's in a relationship with a
• 5:16
  seemingly nice guy. Who loves her?
• 5:19
  That she could just. Leave.
• 5:20
  Yeah, I. Can't feel sorry for her.
• 5:23
  When we zoom up to the adult version of her, I'm like, girl,
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  what? Just stop talking to your foster
• 5:28
  parents and then dump him. Then I'm pretty.
• 5:30
  Sure. She's in her.
• 5:31
  Yeah, early 20s too. So she used to hop on her way
• 5:34
  out. But she's acting like life is
• 5:35
  happening to her and she has no control.
• 5:38
  Take a heap of their money and just fly across the world.
• 5:41
  Yeah, but The thing is, her character development is she
• 5:45
  wants to be a model. Does she?
• 5:47
  She doesn't even try. No, she doesn't like it.
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  I. Feel like she doesn't like it.
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  She's not a social butterfly, so she could never do the press
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  that it actually takes to be a model.
• 5:57
  She can't actually be famous. No, she wouldn't be able to hack
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  it at all. Yeah, so like, what's the
• 6:04
  problem, love? She decides that she has this
• 6:08
  big break. She has to go to LA, yeah, for a
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  modelling campaign and. Instead of like just.
• 6:14
  Talking to her boyfriend about her, probably she just decides
• 6:17
  to go. What kind of shit girlfriend is
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  she? Right after he proposes at the
• 6:22
  gala too. Oh my God, So he proposes on the
• 6:25
  gala wall. Oh my God, tell us about it.
• 6:27
  It's just trash. It's just embarrassing.
• 6:29
  It's embarrassing. They're at a full charity event
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  and he gets down at one knee and he's like, you're the love of my
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  life and she's like, no. She's like, I can't.
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  I can't. Do not break.
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  Up at that point, yes. If someone you can't marry
• 6:43
  someone, Yeah. Aren't you broken up?
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  That makes the most logical sense.
• 6:47
  Well, the weird thing is, is she then moves across the other side
• 6:50
  of the country and then they're still together, but they never
• 6:55
  talk about it properly. They never have a conversation.
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  Nothing. But they were setting Clark up
• 6:59
  to be a dickhead at the start, like he was shallow.
• 7:02
  He was just the best. Person.
• 7:03
  Ever. Yeah, like he never did anything
• 7:07
  wrong. He just didn't.
• 7:09
  He just not like her apartment or something.
• 7:11
  I don't know. Yeah, he didn't like her style
• 7:13
  or her furniture. Yeah, but he wasn't doing 1% of
• 7:18
  the toxic shit of what ended up happening.
• 7:21
  You know what, To be fair to Clark, he said all very similar
• 7:25
  things to Ari. He told her she was beautiful
• 7:28
  all the time and that he loved her.
• 7:30
  Justice for Clark. Justice for Clark.
• 7:32
  What a waste of a man. Yeah.
• 7:34
  Yeah, he. And the kicker is he looks
• 7:37
  pretty much exactly like Ari anyway.
• 7:39
  So you're telling me that someone who's just slightly less
• 7:44
  hot, that treats you worlds better is just not good enough
• 7:47
  for you? Yeah, you're telling me that
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  you've had the same type since you were 10 years old, and
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  somehow they're exactly the same body type and everything they
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  just. Shame at just saying no and
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  running away in front of the whole.
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  She's so. Embarrassing.
• 8:05
  She's always embarrassing. She is.
• 8:08
  But isn't she a bit of like a quote UN quote sad?
• 8:10
  Girl, she's a sad girl, but. For no reason she doesn't.
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  She's not a go getter. She's not trying to work on
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  anything until the very end. She's just really insecure.
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  I think that comes down to. More.
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  To name Maureen no Maura Maura the Foster.
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  Mum. But.
• 8:27
  Maura, of course it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  That's all. More as well.
• 8:31
  Yeah, but at this stage you're in your early 20s.
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  Get some help. I know that sounds like a bit of
• 8:36
  a. Bitchy thing to say, but I mean
• 8:37
  she's like problem, but she's if you don't want to be with this
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  man, break up with him. Don't just hang on because
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  you've been together. Guilty was 17 She.
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  Felt guilty because she tried to kill herself and he saved her.
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  Even more reason to break up with him if you don't.
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  Just let him live. Let him go look after Let's go,
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  love. Someone else.
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  That man never did drugs, never, like, did anything.
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  He did nothing wrong except for love her and also being a bit
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  privileged. I really thought Clark was going
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  to have more of a psycho. Yeah, I even thought Maura and
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  Thomas were going to force them together because they're broke
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  as fuck and they needed his family to even have money or
• 9:18
  something. That would be great.
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  Okay. Going back in time in the group
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  home when she was first there. She's crying, bawling her eyes
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  out. Yeah, A boy comes up to her.
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  A little boy. A. 12 year old boy A.
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  Little boy comes up and says focus on your breathing, shut
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  up. Angel too.
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  But, like, you're not a fucking therapist.
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  He's a little snotty boy. If that was a real boy, he would
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  have just pushed her in the ground and been like, you know
• 9:47
  what I mean? Even if he liked her.
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  Yeah, because boys are just gross.
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  But he's not going to come be like, are you OK, love?
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  Hold my hand. Let's breathe together, you
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  fucking wise old soul little boy.
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  The one that's been on the streets.
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  For his entire life, Like, sorry, not believable.
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  But anyway. The moment their hands touched
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  it was a destiny. Moment it.
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  Was the. Fate, OK?
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  And that's why she dated a whole ass different man for a million
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  years. Make that make.
• 10:14
  Sense. Make that make sense?
• 10:15
  Girl math. You know what I hated with this
• 10:17
  book and it wasn't the same in the first book.
• 10:19
  It's they pretty much did one chapter and it was telling us
• 10:23
  the entire plot. Yeah.
• 10:25
  And then it was like. It's just.
• 10:27
  Is he the wrong fucking guy? Shut up.
• 10:33
  You don't need that in there. You don't need to prep me.
• 10:36
  I've been prepped. That's what the little synopsis
• 10:40
  is. I know, don't double synopsis
• 10:43
  me, don't don't double dog it. Was like triple dogging,
• 10:49
  actually can that? Picture.
• 10:51
  That one's fucking, too. OK.
• 10:56
  Can we talk about We're introduced to Ari, who is our
• 10:59
  main male character. From the get go, everything he
• 11:04
  was thinking in his brain was extremely feminine.
• 11:07
  Yeah, they were going for Labrador, golden retriever,
• 11:11
  boyfriend energy, but it deviated way too far.
• 11:14
  The other way to gay best friend.
• 11:16
  Not even gay best friend girl, best friend.
• 11:18
  But I liked it. I hated it.
• 11:20
  I was like, bring back the toxic masculinity, please.
• 11:24
  They were trying to like, trap you in.
• 11:26
  I feel like it's like toxic, like, you know, he's so fun to
• 11:30
  be around and then he's like full psycho.
• 11:32
  He says he's like JoJo Siwa, but then his behavior is Hannibal
• 11:35
  Lecter, Okay, maybe Patrick Bateman.
• 11:40
  Jesus Christ, he doesn't. Actually want to eat her?
• 11:44
  I don't know. I think he would at this point.
• 11:47
  Just to be close to her. I love when you know what I hate
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  about. And it was real.
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  Grand. You always started.
• 11:54
  You're like, you know what I love?
• 11:55
  You know what? I.
• 11:56
  Hate. You know what?
• 11:58
  Really. Gripes my ears.
• 12:00
  Gripesy gears. Yeah, they're two different
• 12:02
  sayings to one. The rider went hard.
• 12:05
  She went hard on the erections. She went hard on the wet
• 12:09
  panties. There was dripping everywhere.
• 12:12
  There was penises everywhere, all the time.
• 12:16
  What is happening? To talk about his penis yet.
• 12:19
  But when we get to it, I'm Shookus.
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  I mean. I'm only, I just.
• 12:24
  I'm so. Stressed.
• 12:25
  Surrendering. I surrender.
• 12:33
  Why is it whenever walk in the same room?
• 12:39
  As each other, he walks into that restaurant.
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  The first time they see each other.
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  You can go back. I don't care.
• 12:44
  We can go back and forth. No, it's fine.
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  And she's like, my panties are wet just from the side of him.
• 12:50
  Get your. Pelvic floor.
• 12:51
  Check. Girl, you pissed yourself at
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  this. Point Stop.
• 12:59
  Go to the. Toilet and make sure you're not
• 13:02
  on your period. There's never been a time in my
• 13:05
  life where I've just looked at someone and being dripping and
• 13:09
  every two seconds it was like, I'm just so dead.
• 13:13
  In this bitch. Get it checked.
• 13:16
  I'm sure that's not a thing. And his Dick.
• 13:20
  Why is it always hard? I'm not ready to talk about the
• 13:23
  Dick. I'm sorry, like a long build up
• 13:25
  for that. Sorry, we need a warm up.
• 13:27
  We're just, we're just threat to come.
• 13:28
  Eating. Myself.
• 13:30
  We're barely getting past the gala.
• 13:31
  She's. Scratching.
• 13:32
  I'm scratching. I'm getting a rash.
• 13:38
  So the parents are so fucking mad that she rejected the
• 13:41
  proposal. Why bro?
• 13:43
  What do you? Because they.
• 13:44
  Care that money. Yeah, but at the time I was
• 13:48
  like. What the fuck they're just all
• 13:51
  about Image. What does he even do?
• 13:54
  Hello, what? I was like, why?
• 13:57
  Like, why do you guys? Care so much it makes sense
• 14:00
  later, Yeah, but at the time, I'm like, she's a blown woman.
• 14:05
  She is a. Woman.
• 14:07
  She can know what she wants. She can be where she wants.
• 14:11
  Let's not break into song this early in the piece.
• 14:16
  Oh my God, okay, great. So.
• 14:18
  What? The.
• 14:20
  Wrong. Person I mix them up.
• 14:22
  Sorry. They look like so he stalks her
• 14:26
  to, so she's obviously a waitress.
• 14:29
  We don't even need to explain that.
• 14:30
  What better way to be in? What better way to be in LA than
• 14:33
  to be a waitress? Well, it's a romance book, so
• 14:35
  she's either going to be a waitress or a bartender.
• 14:37
  So we're halfway there. So anyway, she's a she's a
• 14:39
  waitress, OK? Ari stalks her.
• 14:43
  And then he comes in to have a lunch service on his own.
• 14:47
  Shame job. He's pussy.
• 14:49
  Dripping. Pussy dripping.
• 14:50
  But he fucks off everything he's saying horribly, Really bad.
• 14:53
  Not in a charming, cute way. In a verbal diarrheal way.
• 14:57
  I feel like because she's so in situation.
• 15:05
  I'm so sorry, I can't afford them arguing this.
• 15:10
  I just wasn't ready. I feel like because she's so
• 15:13
  fucking insecure too. It was just.
• 15:16
  Like he was saying something that would just, you know, fly
• 15:19
  over a like a normal person's head.
• 15:21
  But she's like, what? They were both really
• 15:25
  struggling, like you can imagine them both just sweating.
• 15:28
  And she's already got pussy flowing, so it's just like, oh,
• 15:33
  she's really pussy dripping paws.
• 15:34
  Dripping out. Just a little seal, just snail
• 15:40
  snailing on out. OK, so the description of the
• 15:43
  carriages appearances were always so fucking unhinged.
• 15:47
  So this is Ari and this went for an entire page so I'm only
• 15:50
  taking a snippet but this is when he was in the restaurant.
• 15:53
  Restaurant So when? He was in the restaurant.
• 15:59
  And this is what she said. Even with his clothes on, the
• 16:03
  fact that he was rocking a very well built if not perfect
• 16:06
  physique couldn't be concealed. He was wearing a crisp white
• 16:11
  V-neck. Shirt that.
• 16:12
  Clung to his sculpted chest, accentuating every sinew and
• 16:17
  curve. Sinew and curve?
• 16:20
  Is he a steak? Is he A plus size model?
• 16:24
  What is a sinew and a curve? What is happening?
• 16:28
  Where? Where is happening?
• 16:29
  Is he a? Nude model.
• 16:31
  He's a hockey player. Sinew.
• 16:33
  Have you looked up hockey players lately?
• 16:36
  Not. Lately, chefs kiss.
• 16:39
  But isn't there a better? Like why do I need?
• 16:41
  To know the exact cut of the shirt very.
• 16:44
  Vnecks are disgusting anyway. Oh.
• 16:46
  That. Was all.
• 16:47
  Between the V-neck and the weird black cross he was wearing.
• 16:50
  Jewellery. Disgusting.
• 16:52
  Never wanna hear that again. Also, V necks when they've got
• 16:55
  man boobs, just looks like cleavage.
• 16:59
  You know how it looks like he's sitting.
• 17:00
  Out on a Tuesday morning, it's just.
• 17:02
  Broke go home. Get out of here on a proper
• 17:07
  shirt. There's probably a million girls
• 17:09
  like Layla. Just get over it, bro.
• 17:15
  Come down. Oh.
• 17:17
  Shit. Also, his green eyes were
• 17:19
  mentioned legitimately three times in a row 3.
• 17:23
  Three. You know what's really funny?
• 17:25
  What? The first book Lincoln.
• 17:27
  He's best friend's The first book Lincoln has the golden hair
• 17:30
  and same colour eyes. What's Blake?
• 17:32
  Blake. And then Monroe is the exact
• 17:35
  same with. Green eyes.
• 17:36
  So they're just dating each other.
• 17:38
  Just just fuck each other. I'll just.
• 17:41
  Leave them be. I just leave.
• 17:44
  Don't be. It's because they're so
• 17:46
  sexually. Attracted to each other.
• 17:47
  Ari and Lincoln, I reckon they just want a bone, so they've got
• 17:51
  to find the female equivalent to be socially acceptable.
• 17:53
  It's giving 7 husbands of Evelyn Hugo.
• 17:56
  Exactly. It's.
• 17:58
  Giving hooked it's. Giving.
• 18:02
  It's giving hooks. Why?
• 18:04
  When he was trying to fuck the dad.
• 18:08
  Anything to try to? Bring that up.
• 18:11
  Oh. Shit, that's so funny as you
• 18:13
  said, he said. Hi panties soaked, dripping
• 18:18
  immediately on the floor immediately though.
• 18:22
  Get. Checked toochie prolapse.
• 18:27
  Coochie floodgates open everything.
• 18:30
  'S. Coochie falling apart, bro.
• 18:34
  If some fucking any person doesn't have to be a guy says hi
• 18:38
  to me and you look over and I'm standing on a puddle.
• 18:42
  It's just I've secretly. Had a baby in there and my water
• 18:46
  broke. Because there's no.
• 18:48
  Way pussy be falling. Like what she does.
• 18:53
  I kiss myself, girl. Because I was laughing.
• 18:59
  What is? Going on like this poor girl.
• 19:03
  Oh, Ari describes her eyes. And then this is what he says.
• 19:07
  Well, let's just say they were like 2 cups of coffee.
• 19:11
  One look and you were wide awake and ready.
• 19:13
  Faction. Excuse me, What are they even
• 19:16
  mean? Why?
• 19:18
  Why? Why that doesn't?
• 19:20
  Even make. Sense.
• 19:20
  No it doesn't. Looking at eyeballs make you
• 19:24
  wide awake and ready for action. What if he just in?
• 19:28
  Her eyes was like. Big.
• 19:29
  Brown, black sauces. But just pupil.
• 19:33
  She's she's she's great. Yeah.
• 19:35
  She's tired. She hasn't slept in days.
• 19:39
  She's stressed. Oh, she's like.
• 19:41
  She's iron deficient. She's like, this is how I have
• 19:43
  no appetite. And then this is when he starts
• 19:46
  the dreaded BFF. No.
• 19:49
  This is the beginning of the end for me.
• 19:51
  BFF. BFF shut.
• 19:54
  Up shut. Up Is this when?
• 19:58
  You need to ride in the insecurity too, because he's
• 20:00
  like a BFFS with everyone. She's like everybody.
• 20:03
  She's like. He's for the streets, exactly.
• 20:07
  He's not so many. Friends.
• 20:08
  Except it's not for the streets, because.
• 20:10
  It's. What would it be?
• 20:11
  He's. For the hallways, he's For the
• 20:14
  hallways like he's from the doors.
• 20:17
  What does? That even mean and I was just
• 20:20
  like please stop, please stop. What you want is this.
• 20:24
  Floating. This is flirting.
• 20:26
  I'm Casanova because this is fucked up.
• 20:28
  I just. I'm pretty.
• 20:31
  Bad. Like I'm not a flirt.
• 20:32
  But Jesus, come on. I can string a couple words
• 20:35
  together. Imagine sitting there to chat to
• 20:38
  her. The whole purpose is to chat to
• 20:39
  her. She serves you a meal and then
• 20:42
  you slap some money on the table.
• 20:45
  She's going to be like. He hated it.
• 20:47
  Here. He hated.
• 20:48
  Me. You didn't even eat the meal.
• 20:50
  I'm pretty sure she was like bent over him to pour his cup
• 20:55
  and everything too. He's like, bye, he's bye.
• 20:58
  I see that ass. I'm on my way.
• 21:00
  It's just a disaster. This is the exact moment he
• 21:03
  steals her phone, too. Oh, he's.
• 21:06
  Quick. OK, Oliver Twist, I'm like, what
• 21:09
  is going on? He learned it from the streets.
• 21:13
  OK, lame is. Wouldn't it like, how are you so
• 21:17
  fast to download? What if she had no Wi-Fi, no
• 21:21
  mobile data, she's no bars, and you're telling me it downloaded
• 21:25
  so quick And then he was able to block everything, change
• 21:29
  everything? Changed everyone's name.
• 21:31
  Well, blocked Clark, for starters.
• 21:34
  It's like, oh, you're not allowed a boyfriend.
• 21:36
  OK, how dare. She.
• 21:38
  He went on to everything, blocked him on every social
• 21:40
  media. What if you're not logged in on
• 21:42
  everything? Did he do that from the app on
• 21:44
  his phone? There's no way.
• 21:46
  There's no way he had the time. No, there's no way he would have
• 21:49
  had the time. But didn't he keep the phone for
• 21:51
  a bit? Yeah, while she was waiting
• 21:53
  table while she was working hard.
• 21:55
  I bet you he didn't even leave a tip, You're telling me.
• 21:57
  He did. He gave extra money.
• 21:59
  Should have gave them all. So that the manager wouldn't get
• 22:01
  up her, there you go, because the manager was like eyeballing
• 22:04
  her and then he tried to say the service was excellent and then
• 22:07
  he put yeah. That's because she was learning
• 22:09
  too hard. The manager was like live.
• 22:12
  And be. Live and.
• 22:14
  Be Get back to your titles. Apparently he's hot, though we
• 22:17
  heard about it for like a whole 3 pages.
• 22:20
  Every time that pussy dripped. I just don't think anyone on
• 22:23
  planet Earth is hot enough to put up with that verbal diarrhea
• 22:27
  ever. Nah.
• 22:28
  Henry Cavill could come up to me and say this shit and I'd be
• 22:31
  like, I want to be BFF Scala and I'd be like.
• 22:34
  Yeah, fuck. What's the Harman saying?
• 22:38
  I have a boyfriend? Because at this point, she did
• 22:40
  have a boyfriend. She did, yeah.
• 22:43
  But he was the sexiest man of life, so.
• 22:45
  So. There's not many times where she
• 22:47
  says she has a boyfriend. It's not.
• 22:49
  It's like in her own head. Yeah, this is when Maximus 5000
• 22:54
  makes makes an appearance. And I just your name isn't even
• 22:58
  Max. So horrible, what does?
• 23:03
  It mean you. Could have any other things, any
• 23:07
  other thing? Maximi sparked down.
• 23:10
  Soon. I just don't think for real.
• 23:12
  Guys name their Dicks. I just don't think for real.
• 23:15
  Unless we don't know, I just don't think this At this point.
• 23:18
  I'm so unsure about men's Dicks. I'm so unsure.
• 23:21
  I've never, I don't even know what Dicks are anymore.
• 23:24
  I've never why are they so erect all the time.
• 23:31
  Like this is this fantasy book. It's.
• 23:34
  So unrealistic. Where's the realism?
• 23:37
  After this meeting, she met him. She was all shooketh.
• 23:39
  Because they're always shooketh when they have the meeting.
• 23:42
  Oh yeah, of the guy that they're interested in because she's been
• 23:45
  texting Clark. Still.
• 23:46
  Because technically they're still together.
• 23:50
  How is Clark? A human emoji?
• 23:53
  What does that even mean? Just.
• 23:54
  Giving her dry responses because it's Ari on his stupid app
• 23:58
  pretending to be Clark and then she goes he's a human emoji
• 24:03
  because he's only sending one word replies.
• 24:05
  That's not how emojis work. Nah, girl, girl.
• 24:08
  What's going on? So aren't you be stressed.
• 24:12
  Why wouldn't you call your boyfriend?
• 24:14
  Wouldn't you at least confirm that's what I don't get?
• 24:18
  Send him an e-mail. You're across the other side of
• 24:20
  the country. You haven't talked properly
• 24:22
  about your relationship. Wouldn't you already be
• 24:25
  organizing a time for him to come talk to you proper if
• 24:28
  you're going to maybe break up or not?
• 24:29
  Yeah, Don't just assume you're together.
• 24:31
  The fuck? I don't even know what Clark's
• 24:34
  job is. Surely he's got time.
• 24:36
  He. Runs a media company or
• 24:38
  something? There you go.
• 24:40
  He's got time. Ari is a Swifty too, and at the
• 24:44
  start of the book there was an entire playlist for this book.
• 24:46
  Half of it was Taylor Swift. Yeah.
• 24:48
  They kind of revealed that Ari used to bang Mills, no?
• 24:52
  I missed. It yeah, he.
• 24:54
  So he's a Swifty, He's got golden retriever energy and he
• 24:57
  used to bang Mills, but not anymore because he realized
• 25:01
  Blake was a thing and he was thinking, oh, but I would fuck
• 25:06
  Blake if she turned into a mum. And then he started thinking
• 25:09
  about it. And then he got erections.
• 25:11
  Yuck. That's a bit at the end of the
• 25:13
  book where he was like, even if you and Clark had ten kids, I
• 25:16
  would still. Course he would.
• 25:18
  OK, young gravy like what is? Going on?
• 25:23
  Calm down. Lock up your mums.
• 25:24
  Lock them up. Can I just?
• 25:28
  Say these are my confessions. It's every hockey scene.
• 25:32
  I fucking skimmed like there was no tomorrow because it was
• 25:35
  stupid. See.
• 25:36
  I love. The idea of them playing hockey,
• 25:39
  but I don't want to read them playing hockey, Dude, it was
• 25:42
  worse than that. They were listening to Shake It
• 25:44
  Off by Taylor Swift as their pre gaming ritual.
• 25:47
  Dancing around like a bunch of 11 year old girls.
• 25:50
  You know you feel like you. Hit them right in the golden
• 25:52
  retriever by doing that, there's no way around it, Mick.
• 25:55
  Can you imagine? Them on national television
• 25:57
  going into the AFL or NRL locker rooms and then guys are doing
• 26:02
  the robot to Taylor Swift. Shake him off.
• 26:04
  Grown men. My pussy would be.
• 26:05
  Dry. That's.
• 26:08
  Sorry. That's not happening, no.
• 26:11
  No. Everyone.
• 26:12
  Would. Kick I don't know how he's out.
• 26:14
  Also, why does he hate? This Soto guy, so much.
• 26:17
  Yeah. What did he do?
• 26:17
  I think he was just supposed to be the villain, but he's not
• 26:21
  disapproving him as ugly. As fuck.
• 26:23
  Aside, he, they. Practically described him like
• 26:26
  he's literally. The worst villain ever?
• 26:28
  Oh yeah. But they described him as pretty
• 26:30
  much looking like it. It the clown like the Clary as
• 26:33
  fuck. And then we're supposed to
• 26:35
  believe that Charlotte's just keen to fuck him.
• 26:38
  Charlotte's A. Mess.
• 26:40
  But Charlotte's booking all the jobs.
• 26:42
  That I don't understand how. Charlotte went downhill so
• 26:45
  quickly because she seemed all right.
• 26:47
  And then it was like she wasn't. I know she just.
• 26:50
  Got Soto stick into her and then and she just went.
• 26:53
  But I don't care. Why he was so If you hated
• 26:55
  someone this much, it's almost worth not transferring.
• 26:57
  Your hockey team would be playing with them, Charlotte
• 27:00
  was. Given.
• 27:01
  Backstage tickets. They could go into the locker
• 27:04
  rooms after Ari is casually in a towel, manspreading full
• 27:08
  erection for the entire world to see his entire teammates.
• 27:13
  All his teammates, they're all just hanging around with Ari's
• 27:15
  Dick in the air. And then they waited.
• 27:17
  Charlotte. Came in, Blake came in, and
• 27:19
  Charlotte's pretty much like, oh, you're going to introduce
• 27:22
  me. She wanted to jump on his full
• 27:25
  Dick. Full Dick right there.
• 27:27
  There and then you. Can't tell me that man didn't.
• 27:29
  Wait for that moment. Everyone's fully dressed, ready
• 27:31
  to go home he's just waiting for.
• 27:33
  Her. And also, why would you OK dead
• 27:37
  ass if you thought this person, this girl, was your soul mate
• 27:40
  and you came this far? Why is everything only about
• 27:44
  sex? He didn't even.
• 27:46
  Try. If he go that.
• 27:49
  Was his soul mate. Wouldn't you introduce yourself
• 27:50
  and be like, hey, remember that little boy?
• 27:52
  That was me. And like, why don't we go on a
• 27:55
  date if that was gold. A retrieving boyfriend.
• 27:57
  Not this hop on my Dick out in the open.
• 28:00
  Oh yeah, and then? He dropped his.
• 28:02
  Towel when he turned around and his ass was there and she was
• 28:04
  like. Like I want to eat.
• 28:07
  It. So I don't know.
• 28:08
  Who's more the problem? He must have the.
• 28:11
  Juiciest cheeks and his life must have been that bad.
• 28:15
  He's like. Blowing her.
• 28:16
  Kisses during the game and she's like, oh.
• 28:19
  He's looking at me. Bitch get some self esteem.
• 28:24
  Also he. When he turns around he has a
• 28:26
  butterfly tattoo and I imagined it being lower back it.
• 28:31
  Was like, I'm sorry. It's cannon.
• 28:33
  It's cannon in my mind. What are they called?
• 28:36
  Tramp stamp? A little trance.
• 28:37
  He gives tramp stamp, he does it's.
• 28:39
  Full tramp stamp and it was a dare when they were drunk, so it
• 28:43
  makes sense that it would be a lower back one.
• 28:44
  Yeah, he's got a matching one with Lincoln.
• 28:47
  He hard launches the nickname Sunshine.
• 28:49
  Yeah, for Blake. Sorry, you are not a southern
• 28:53
  gentleman with a sexy droll. You are an.
• 28:56
  Idiot. You're.
• 28:58
  A psychopath and you don't have Southern charm.
• 29:02
  You are Lizzie McGuire. In cartoon.
• 29:06
  Form that is all you are. You have a lower back butterfly
• 29:10
  tattoo. You're a Swifty.
• 29:13
  Your. Favorite drink?
• 29:14
  Is a Pumpkin Spice latte. Oh my God.
• 29:17
  Actually, I forgot about that you talk.
• 29:19
  About being BFFS with a girl that you're supposed to want to
• 29:22
  fuck. Yeah, you.
• 29:24
  I'm sorry you got your. Goalie frothing over you daily.
• 29:30
  I just hate nicknames. It has to.
• 29:33
  Work, yeah. It just didn't work.
• 29:36
  This book randomly goes into the past.
• 29:39
  Whenever it fucking wants, it just puts it in italics.
• 29:41
  And I'm like can you not do that?
• 29:42
  I don't even care. I.
• 29:43
  Still don't care about past, it's back.
• 29:46
  Story but it tell us the summary I.
• 29:49
  Hate back stories. I hate them so much, but make it
• 29:52
  a different. Chapter, bro.
• 29:54
  They're so not. Necessary.
• 29:56
  They did it like a. Flashback.
• 29:58
  So what we find out is Clark saves her ass.
• 30:02
  Cool, cool. And we only get that flashback
• 30:04
  because she starts feeling guilty because she's frothing
• 30:06
  over a different man. Yeah, just break.
• 30:09
  Up with your boyfriend, because that's all you have to do.
• 30:11
  It's not that. Hard because.
• 30:14
  Ari's bugged her phone. Yeah, Clark's getting nothing
• 30:17
  because obviously on his side he's been blocked.
• 30:20
  So he's probably thinking what the fuck?
• 30:21
  So it turns out he's flying over to see her because you wanna
• 30:25
  check that she's alive because literally your girlfriend and
• 30:28
  she randomly stopped messaging you.
• 30:30
  It's just where the. Pi is constantly messaging.
• 30:32
  Yeah, yeah, that. Man's got too much.
• 30:34
  Time, he warned him he. Goes, he's flying over and then
• 30:38
  he finds out what rental car he has.
• 30:40
  So Clark got a rental car he rocks up at her apartment.
• 30:44
  And this is after she kissed Ari in the car on the way home.
• 30:47
  Classy by the way, yeah. Yeah, like if this is your soul.
• 30:50
  Mate, you're gonna pretty much make out with her.
• 30:52
  It was like in the car, right? Or no, it was at the.
• 30:54
  After party. Party right outside the
• 30:57
  twilight, yeah. That's.
• 30:59
  Great. Like you're not even making it
• 31:04
  romantic. For your so-called soulmate.
• 31:06
  Get fucked Anyway. So Clarks, there he comes in.
• 31:09
  Yes, he's a bit shallow about the furniture.
• 31:11
  Big fucking whoop fucking. Let's cancel Clark.
• 31:16
  Because he doesn't like your furniture, he just wants you to
• 31:19
  have nice things. Meanwhile, there's probably rats
• 31:21
  coming out of her couch at this point anyway, he goes.
• 31:25
  Can we talk? And she's like, she comes over,
• 31:27
  she hugs him, she's like, oh, she had the instinct to hug him.
• 31:31
  They don't even know if they're together.
• 31:32
  Fucking neck minute this. Is police.
• 31:36
  Outside. Banging on that door.
• 31:38
  Banging. It down like it's a.
• 31:39
  SWOT situation, she's opening it like, what the fuck?
• 31:43
  And they're holding this little baggie.
• 31:45
  They're like, are you the one who hired the fucking R8 or
• 31:48
  whatever the fuck? And he's like, yeah, and they're
• 31:49
  like, this is drugs. Yeah, like.
• 31:53
  Okay. I how.
• 31:54
  Like you're. Holding it bro.
• 31:56
  I. Thought okay prove it was me.
• 31:59
  You just removed. It from my car.
• 32:01
  She lives in an. Apartment block.
• 32:03
  How did they know that was the exact apartment he was in?
• 32:07
  Yeah. Because Ari called them and
• 32:10
  bribed them Okay. I get that you want his
• 32:14
  girlfriend, but are you really going to send a man to jail for
• 32:19
  fucking life? Yes, because he's marriage.
• 32:21
  Wants Clark to. Die.
• 32:23
  Yeah, that's fucked. What?
• 32:25
  Like Clark. Did he existing Clark for having
• 32:28
  his own girlfriend? For wanting he because he, Ari
• 32:31
  thought that Clark was just going to give up the second she
• 32:33
  doesn't text him back one day? It's like that was his whole
• 32:37
  last girlfriend for 10 years. Yeah, and he's just supposed to
• 32:40
  pretend I'm in. Love with her too and he's like
• 32:42
  this is. No, call my lawyer and get this
• 32:44
  sorted. And she just doesn't do that.
• 32:47
  She. Yeah, she doesn't.
• 32:48
  I don't think. She does, does she?
• 32:49
  Just doesn't even care about Clark at all.
• 32:51
  Clark, let it go. Let it go this point.
• 32:53
  Let the bitch just. Fuck up her.
• 32:56
  Own life. You're too good for her.
• 32:58
  Just let him go. Just let him.
• 33:00
  Go. So he's coaxing her to hang out
• 33:03
  again, right? Doesn't he rock up at her work?
• 33:05
  Yeah, I think. So he just can't take a.
• 33:07
  Hint. And he's like, let's hang out
• 33:09
  his BFF, Let's just chill. He's already trying to get.
• 33:12
  Her over to his place. The most minimal effort hasn't
• 33:15
  taken her out for dinner once. And this is his soul mate.
• 33:18
  I think there's a bit where. Even in there, she's like
• 33:20
  crying. She's crying about something.
• 33:23
  He licks her tears or some shit. He takes the tear and.
• 33:26
  Lick. There's constant.
• 33:28
  Tear looking in this bullshit book.
• 33:31
  Licks. Tears.
• 33:32
  Could you imagine this? Fucking big ass man, Full
• 33:37
  tongues out. What if his tongue is white?
• 33:40
  Like he just doesn't scrape his tongues, but he's just like
• 33:43
  that's. Not even.
• 33:44
  Hot If you're upset, you don't want to be sexual?
• 33:47
  No. Why?
• 33:48
  Is he seductively? Licking your tears instead of
• 33:50
  just holding your shoulder like a person.
• 33:52
  Nothing I hate. More on life and wetness.
• 33:56
  Moisture. Moisture on my skin.
• 33:59
  So if someone licked me, I'd be like having a panic attack.
• 34:03
  I'd be like just imagine. His bad breath on that, on the
• 34:06
  tear that he's licked off. He's just eating.
• 34:08
  Some fucking pepperoni pizza and he's no.
• 34:12
  He would have just freshly eaten the whole thing of tacos.
• 34:15
  He's obsessed with tacos because apparently that's the golden
• 34:18
  refuger energy sort of thing. You know what?
• 34:20
  There's another. Thing in this book that doesn't
• 34:22
  make sense and he's like, the only thing I know how to make is
• 34:25
  tacos. You've had no.
• 34:26
  Family. For years and you're telling me
• 34:29
  you don't know how to cook your own meal?
• 34:31
  It's because, he explains. That he's a basic bitch, but
• 34:34
  he's. Like any.
• 34:35
  Guy you can find on Tinder within 5 minutes.
• 34:37
  So why does it have to be him? Like, it really doesn't have to
• 34:39
  be him. So he licks our tears and then
• 34:42
  that's when Ari says ready to Netflix and chill.
• 34:45
  Like I just feel like I'm saying it in such a Valley Girl accent.
• 34:48
  Yeah, Are you ready to Netflix and chill?
• 34:51
  Hey, hey, Blake, Are you ready? What's Netflix and chill in my
• 34:56
  bed? No, you.
• 34:59
  Don't want to? That in my nightmare.
• 35:03
  Why don't you think so good and terrific, don't you think?
• 35:05
  Yes, disgraceful. Have you only been on an
• 35:08
  awkward? Date at someone's house.
• 35:10
  Nothing could be worse. Like you don't.
• 35:11
  And they like to. Make you some weird food.
• 35:13
  What? Why?
• 35:15
  Just don't. Just.
• 35:16
  Buy take away. You just.
• 35:17
  Don't do it, they're. Trying to impress.
• 35:19
  You but it's just. I don't want to have.
• 35:21
  Weird burgers at your house? Oh my God.
• 35:24
  Why are you talking about mine? What is weird?
• 35:28
  Burgers my ex-boyfriend made? No, I've had.
• 35:31
  Stop. No, I've had another.
• 35:32
  Time you've been. Violated.
• 35:35
  But I'm always violated. By burgers.
• 35:38
  Oh, OK, I was. Like, why are you stealing my
• 35:41
  bad date? Story.
• 35:43
  That you were at, that made me. Vomit for hours, yes.
• 35:48
  No, I had another bad. Date story Where it was.
• 35:51
  Burgers with spinach on it? Well, you're.
• 35:53
  Telling me I have. All the bags of lettuce you
• 35:55
  could buy and you, they buy spinach.
• 35:59
  Nothing. Else.
• 36:00
  I hate eating burgers in front of people.
• 36:02
  Were they gym bro? No.
• 36:04
  Why are they? Loading.
• 36:05
  Up on spinach. OK, Popeye, Weird.
• 36:07
  OK, maybe they'll just. Concern for my iron deficiency.
• 36:11
  Nothing's worse as. When you're trying to plan your
• 36:13
  escape and you don't know what door goes where, I'm just.
• 36:17
  Like. I'm pretty sure.
• 36:18
  At the exact same time I accidentally locked myself in
• 36:21
  the bathroom in Yeah. How do you lock yourself in?
• 36:24
  I don't know. I was 18.
• 36:26
  It was a bad time. Throw me in the bin.
• 36:29
  Go out the window. This is you.
• 36:31
  Escaping. I'm like stuck in the toilet,
• 36:38
  You in the bathroom. Like.
• 36:41
  Help me like knocking. Like hello you're like help let.
• 36:44
  Me out Halloween party For some reason she's not to me, a party
• 36:48
  Goyle? No.
• 36:49
  Why is she getting all dressed up as Catwoman?
• 36:50
  Out of nowhere, she's. Going.
• 36:52
  Because it's for her model agency is making her go.
• 36:56
  If you're insecure in your body, yeah, you're not wearing a cat.
• 37:01
  Suit. You're not wearing a cat.
• 37:02
  Suit, You're not all leathered up.
• 37:04
  No, The fact that her boyfriend's name is Clark and
• 37:07
  they didn't go as Superman. Real.
• 37:09
  I know it. Pisses.
• 37:10
  Me off. We were robbed, We were robbed.
• 37:12
  But. Also.
• 37:14
  Why are you assuming he's cross country?
• 37:16
  Like you don't even know if he got released from James.
• 37:20
  How is? He getting.
• 37:21
  Anywhere. He's on drug charges.
• 37:23
  He's telling me they found a bag of powder in his car and they
• 37:27
  were like, he's just out the next day.
• 37:28
  Why does she just assume he's there?
• 37:30
  So she gets this text message from so-called Clark saying I'm
• 37:34
  on Level 3 or something. So she just goes up there and
• 37:37
  she sees a guy. It could be anyone.
• 37:42
  Let's start there. It could be anyone.
• 37:44
  But before she even gets there, she's already pussy dripping.
• 37:47
  But I've. By that couple that's literally
• 37:50
  banging on a wall, but somehow. Her core is suspiciously wet.
• 37:54
  How they erotic scene? That was the exact words.
• 37:59
  You know what? No, there's.
• 38:02
  Too. Much to say here, There's too
• 38:04
  much. Going on, there's not only is
• 38:06
  she. Wet.
• 38:07
  By the. People on the wall her thong is
• 38:09
  soaked from. Clark.
• 38:14
  Oh my, my breast. Felt.
• 38:15
  Heavy, my nipples tightening under his dark green gaze.
• 38:19
  My insides were softening. EW.
• 38:22
  My thong. Was soaked.
• 38:26
  Inside. Something.
• 38:29
  I. Just.
• 38:30
  I don't just. Do your insides feel soft?
• 38:33
  Because I more like. Soft in the head, inside.
• 38:39
  I. Don't even know.
• 38:40
  OK, so she doesn't say a word to you, but because he's generally
• 38:44
  the same build, you're telling me it could be anybody.
• 38:48
  You've been with this? Man, 10 years and you can't tell
• 38:52
  their bodies apart. You're telling me they have the
• 38:55
  exact same build of body muscle and all and no but this one?
• 39:00
  'S a bit hotter, and she kind of suspects she's like, has Clark
• 39:04
  been working out? You seen him?
• 39:07
  Like a week ago, but you take. Him.
• 39:09
  Not even a week. Ago He's still in lock.
• 39:11
  Up, but still like she takes him into a different room, just
• 39:15
  ready to rip his clothes off. So that means she still loves
• 39:18
  Clark? Yeah.
• 39:19
  Sorry. What?
• 39:20
  She decided The Batman. Suit was OK and that was enough.
• 39:24
  Clark I. We need to fuck.
• 39:28
  We need to fuck. Right now, but it's kind of
• 39:30
  like. If she's still.
• 39:32
  Sexually attracted to Clark because they are very similar?
• 39:35
  Yeah. Why is she even entertaining?
• 39:39
  Sex wasn't good. You should be confident enough
• 39:41
  to tell that man you've been with since you were 17 how to do
• 39:46
  it. Yup.
• 39:47
  Yup. Yup.
• 39:49
  Yup. Yup.
• 39:51
  Don't just let him fumble down there.
• 39:52
  Can we just establish that this is?
• 39:56
  Sexual. Assault.
• 39:57
  It is in fact. Sexual assault it, Literally.
• 40:00
  Is because you cannot say you can't give to someone you don't
• 40:05
  know who it is you can't give. Informed consent?
• 40:08
  No, It's not informed. No, because you assume.
• 40:11
  That consent was your. Boyfriend.
• 40:13
  Exactly. Does fucking are, you're telling
• 40:16
  me? That it's absolutely OK to walk
• 40:20
  up and just unzip someone titties out and they're just
• 40:24
  going to froth over the fact that you're not her boyfriend
• 40:27
  Harry. Is essentially A rapist they're
• 40:31
  trying to play. It off like he's not because
• 40:34
  he's every situation. He sets up.
• 40:39
  Is. Just trying to take advantage of
• 40:41
  her, yeah. Why can't he?
• 40:42
  Just have a conversation with her and treat her normal.
• 40:46
  Everything has to be a trick and everything has to be a lie.
• 40:49
  He. She.
• 40:50
  Would have fell for it with him immediately.
• 40:52
  She would have loved him anyway. Straight up, you do not have to.
• 40:55
  Do there's so many times. That he's just.
• 40:59
  Horrendous. How does it benefit?
• 41:01
  I know that this is. A dark romance, but I feel like
• 41:04
  sexual assault never is needed in a dark romance.
• 41:08
  The manipulation and tricking, maybe you can get away with it,
• 41:12
  but sexual assault? Never.
• 41:14
  And also. This is the first time that they
• 41:17
  do a proper sexual act. Yeah, together you want.
• 41:20
  You. Your soul mate's first sexual
• 41:23
  encounter with you to be a lie, and she thinks it's Clark.
• 41:26
  She said Clark's name because she did think it was him, and
• 41:30
  then he made her feel guilty about it being like, you know
• 41:33
  who this is. Never say she.
• 41:35
  Didn't no imagine if she had a couple of drinks.
• 41:37
  She doesn't know who it is. Oh yeah, also can't consent.
• 41:41
  And then he just. Whips.
• 41:42
  Out his 10 inch pierced Dick, Yeah.
• 41:46
  Pierced the house. Down pierced the.
• 41:48
  Jacob blooded all the way down. What the fuck?
• 41:53
  Who are there? Right.
• 41:54
  My OK. I know there's people with their
• 41:56
  Dick peers, but how are you? Swaying.
• 41:59
  All the. Way that can't be comfortable.
• 42:02
  When it's just soft, I mean, like, does that mean that the
• 42:05
  things just all group back together?
• 42:08
  I don't know like. Anything on it like is it?
• 42:10
  Underneath I have no you. Know what?
• 42:12
  From this book alone, I now no longer know how Dicks work.
• 42:17
  Yeah, I don't think. It's a problem.
• 42:18
  His Dick's constantly hard true. It's always tented.
• 42:22
  Up the crazy thing. Is he got his Dick fully pierced
• 42:25
  from root to tip because of a night out with Lincoln?
• 42:29
  Of course he did. Oh, a drunk.
• 42:31
  Night out? Yeah, Who?
• 42:32
  Just goes to a. Piercer in the middle of the
• 42:34
  night, and when your piercer is. Doing.
• 42:37
  Anyone. While they're drunk, especially
• 42:39
  their Dick from. Base to tip, this ain't real.
• 42:44
  She's just like. Yeah.
• 42:47
  Just whips that. Puppy out, she.
• 42:49
  Immediately, every time we justify the sexual assault with
• 42:54
  I've never been able to get off with Clark.
• 42:56
  There's always needed a toy. Just call it what?
• 43:00
  It is You don't like your boyfriend.
• 43:04
  I know, but it's. Just even worse that he guilts
• 43:06
  her being like you know who this is.
• 43:08
  Or she genuinely didn't. So then it's fine that you
• 43:12
  sexually assault her. What?
• 43:14
  And it's completely. OK, that they're having sex
• 43:17
  because he's hitting her straight in the womb, I think.
• 43:20
  They're justifying the sexual assault because he went down on
• 43:23
  her, so she should just feel happy that someone went down on
• 43:26
  her. He took a minute.
• 43:28
  Of his time. But do you?
• 43:29
  Just raw dog. Someone's piercings.
• 43:32
  Just in your cooch. Just no notice, just no lose.
• 43:35
  You don't know if he's clean. What's with the RAW?
• 43:40
  Dogging all the time. He's a hockey.
• 43:42
  Player and gets tail all the time, roots all the time, all
• 43:47
  the time. Having those piercings.
• 43:49
  Is that not also openings for infections to get in easier than
• 43:54
  just the standard Dick? I don't know.
• 43:56
  He must have to do. Like a salt wash.
• 43:58
  He's got like a soak in his Dick and he's got salt bacteria of
• 44:02
  500. Coochies just all up in those
• 44:04
  little piercing hole skin cells. I cannot.
• 44:08
  Deal. I just could imagine.
• 44:10
  Him with his Dick in a pot, like every night, He's not looking.
• 44:14
  After his Dick, she feels horrible and she's like, oh, I'm
• 44:18
  a cheetah, just like how my mom was a cheetah.
• 44:21
  Women are horrible. I don't even think.
• 44:23
  Her mom cheated. No, I don't think she did.
• 44:27
  The thing She goes over, over and over again.
• 44:30
  Is her mom saying like Thomas, nothing happened.
• 44:34
  Some guy probably looked at it. Yeah.
• 44:37
  Her dad's probably just unhinged.
• 44:39
  So then. Ari decides it's time for them
• 44:41
  to go on their first proper date.
• 44:42
  Yeah. And then he.
• 44:44
  Has to make tacos, he has to. Change his number in her phone.
• 44:51
  But I still don't know how. This fucking app works because
• 44:54
  he has to take her phone away to put his number in it, so.
• 44:59
  Sad he's talking about meat farts 5 seconds before tongue
• 45:04
  punching her booty hole. I.
• 45:09
  Have never been so just itched out right after.
• 45:16
  I know you know how those disgusting sex scenes as in gory
• 45:21
  this was. Disgusting.
• 45:22
  Like. I don't want to be here, so
• 45:25
  she's. Worked.
• 45:26
  That whole time at work. And then he the red flag should
• 45:30
  have been right before the meat flocks in his head is he has a
• 45:33
  whole drawer of shit ready for her.
• 45:37
  Yeah, and like, my mate got it all organized for you.
• 45:40
  You tell you him. Yesterday and he has a whole
• 45:44
  drawer. This is for your other.
• 45:46
  Bitches and he's like. Never.
• 45:49
  There's never been a girl here about old.
• 45:53
  Chestnut. I hope she's not lactose
• 45:55
  intolerant. Oh fuck.
• 45:58
  That's not quickies. In there they were.
• 45:59
  Eating it was like she hadn't. Even finished her first Taco and
• 46:02
  he's just like, like on her booty hole.
• 46:06
  You can't. Just have someone all up in your
• 46:08
  booty hole. Eat tacos sitting on someone's
• 46:12
  lap too. They were sitting on each
• 46:14
  other's lap. I'm sorry, but I.
• 46:15
  Need like 5 business days before you're going near my booty hole?
• 46:19
  What about? Hurting farts, That's what I
• 46:22
  mean. Yeah, she's just.
• 46:23
  It's not only. Girls holding that booty hole in
• 46:27
  What if she's got? IBS He knows nothing about her.
• 46:31
  Nothing. Like toes intolerance.
• 46:36
  Like toes in. Tolerance.
• 46:39
  How do you even eat sloppy tacos to be sexy on a first date
• 46:42
  that's probably ripping? Burgers.
• 46:44
  It's just dripping. Down her neck.
• 46:46
  That's like a We've already been waiting.
• 46:48
  For two years, Yeah, that's a. Messy bun, dirty sweat kind of
• 46:53
  food. That's when you've given up.
• 46:56
  Why? Why is it you're just done, it's
• 47:01
  just cooked? At this point, everything's
• 47:04
  cooked. Everything's.
• 47:06
  Dude, we're not even halfway through my nose that I'm doing
• 47:10
  Chapter 10. Chapter.
• 47:13
  Fucking 10 What is going? On someone said they did not
• 47:15
  finish at this point because of the meat parts and I fully
• 47:18
  respect them as a human being. Yeah, this is when you should
• 47:21
  tap. This is why we should.
• 47:22
  Never be in a man's head. It was a.
• 47:25
  Girl's head No, it was a meat. Part No, but you can't.
• 47:29
  Convince me that he isn't losing the quiet.
• 47:31
  Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. I forgot, I forgot.
• 47:35
  Why? Is it?
• 47:37
  Why is it that they've never had you telling me he's had sex with
• 47:41
  all these women and he's never had good head?
• 47:45
  Fucking liar. Just trying to suck his.
• 47:47
  Soul out because they think he's got money.
• 47:49
  Yeah, you. Told me that all these women
• 47:52
  aren't putting their whole soul into sucking his Dick.
• 47:57
  Yup, as if he's got. Groupies on groupies.
• 48:00
  Why is it? That every time he comes he has
• 48:04
  to rub it into her skin like moisturizer.
• 48:06
  Like that shit ain't the stickiest, flakiest shit.
• 48:10
  When it dries, she has to wear. It for a minimum 10 business
• 48:13
  days in a row, but she's just a calm dumpster at this point.
• 48:16
  She it look probably looks like her skin is.
• 48:19
  Falling off her. At this point, it looks like
• 48:21
  she's at a. Mud bath.
• 48:22
  But it's just cum, is she? Fat.
• 48:25
  There's something. Wrong with him.
• 48:28
  Imagine. OK, so you're a hockey player.
• 48:31
  A famous hockey player. Imagine calling up your hockey
• 48:34
  agent. And trying to book.
• 48:36
  A modelling campaign when there's already an A Lister on
• 48:39
  it, it's. Tomorrow.
• 48:41
  And you're not even a model because you're too insecure for
• 48:44
  your girlfriend to do 1 fucking shoot.
• 48:46
  That might help her career, you think?
• 48:49
  That she's gonna pass. That she's just gonna magically
• 48:52
  decide to fuck this a Lister actor because he's known for
• 48:55
  fucking people when she's so insecure?
• 48:58
  Yeah. I just.
• 49:01
  It's so tragic, though, like you're going to ruin her first
• 49:05
  professional proper shoot. He's on the phone to his agent.
• 49:09
  He's like, make it happen. Tell them everything.
• 49:11
  Tell them I've got a Pierce. Dick what?
• 49:16
  It's like, yeah, we'll just. Get rid of Brad Pitt because
• 49:18
  you've got a Pierce Dick. They love how we they.
• 49:21
  Always in books, throw away how the person would have to fix it
• 49:26
  by just being like you. Work it out.
• 49:28
  I don't want to know how they worked it out.
• 49:30
  Also, that's better than this entire book, but this isn't
• 49:33
  even. Only fans, who's looking for
• 49:36
  your Pierce Dick? Maybe people just.
• 49:39
  Want to know? Oh my God.
• 49:41
  And he's not even that famous. Even the agent was like, you've
• 49:43
  got to be a bit realistic here. Apparently it worked.
• 49:46
  And then he's just. Rocking up at the shoot the next
• 49:50
  day she's. He's already there.
• 49:53
  He's already in the underwear. She's just rocking up like.
• 49:56
  Oh, you know what the? First thing she says in her head
• 50:00
  when she rocks up and he said she goes, No one has ever had
• 50:05
  his cum but me. He's fucked everybody.
• 50:09
  Yeah, what does she even? Mean.
• 50:11
  That's the first thing she's. Like he's No one ever else has
• 50:14
  had his cum but me. Even if they were.
• 50:18
  Dating which they? He just.
• 50:20
  Forces her into the relationship already, but you don't want your
• 50:24
  partner at a shoot where you're trying to be professional and
• 50:26
  everyone thinks you've got a dependency disorder because you
• 50:29
  need him right next to you. And then they go and.
• 50:32
  Fuck in the change rooms. When?
• 50:35
  Time is money on a photo shoot. They are counting.
• 50:38
  Down those minutes that they don't have to rent, you tell me
• 50:41
  you're. Telling me it's not in a
• 50:42
  warehouse and the the change room is not just a bifold.
• 50:46
  Yeah. With like a curtain, Yeah.
• 50:48
  And the. Photographers.
• 50:49
  Probably chilling. Waiting, listening.
• 50:53
  And that all they do is. Send a mousy assistant over to
• 50:56
  just see when they're finished, they're practically moaning the
• 50:59
  house there. They're in the corner.
• 51:00
  Flipping coins to work out which fucking sucker has to walk over
• 51:04
  there and also. Before they had sex, the photo
• 51:07
  shoot was going horribly. Because she's not a good model.
• 51:10
  She's not serving body, she's not serving face.
• 51:12
  For some reason he was better at modelling than her and he's
• 51:16
  like, oh, let's just have a break and he was getting mad at
• 51:18
  the photographer. Do you know how embarrassing?
• 51:20
  That would be. He's ripping into the
• 51:21
  photographer. The photographer's like, I don't
• 51:23
  give a fuck. I'm getting charged. $1000 an
• 51:25
  hour for this shit, you. Guys, go fuck in the changing
• 51:27
  room. See if I care.
• 51:28
  Yeah, but. Imagine.
• 51:29
  You're not getting the photos you need for Vogue Imagine.
• 51:32
  He's come being the only fix. It's the PS Dick.
• 51:37
  She's like, I haven't had his PS Dick in 5 minutes, 5 minutes.
• 51:40
  He without fail, without fail, this man licks his own cum every
• 51:48
  single time because I'm pretty sure after they fuck she puts
• 51:51
  her fingers in her and then he sucks.
• 51:53
  Yeah, he's insane. He's insane.
• 51:55
  When they're in the change. Room he pretty much like
• 51:57
  strangles her and he's like, look at yourself, you're the
• 52:00
  sexiest woman, you shouldn't have insecurity problems and
• 52:02
  just impales her on his Dick. Yeah, and then just and just
• 52:06
  makes. Her go out with Cum dripping
• 52:08
  down her leg on purpose. As if there isn't 10 photography
• 52:11
  assistants like needing to fix that up.
• 52:13
  As if you're not pretty much renting the lingerie.
• 52:17
  Someone's got to wash that shit too.
• 52:19
  It's. Fucking disgusting.
• 52:21
  They're just like taking her underwear and.
• 52:23
  Putting it straight in the bin and then if she has the best
• 52:26
  photos of all time, the photographer is excited.
• 52:29
  You can't. Tell me that her makeup wasn't
• 52:31
  fucked. Yeah, just ripping down her face
• 52:34
  and the night. Before.
• 52:35
  They were eating pizza and she felt horrible about herself, so
• 52:38
  she pretty much vomited before the shoot.
• 52:41
  Yeah, but you can't tell me that Ari wouldn't have planned that
• 52:44
  on purpose to sabotage the photo shoot as a backup option.
• 52:47
  Yeah, yeah, I. Think he would have I.
• 52:49
  Think he would have? And the only thing that confirms
• 52:51
  that in my mind is a bit at the end, where he talks about all
• 52:55
  the things he does to manipulate it.
• 52:56
  There's nothing. That he wouldn't do to just fuck
• 52:59
  up her life. That's the problem.
• 53:01
  With this, I know it's a dark romance, but the problems with
• 53:04
  this entire series so far is they want their girlfriends to
• 53:08
  have nothing. Yeah, and just them only.
• 53:11
  And it pisses me off because at the start, he's.
• 53:14
  Supposed to be this Happy Go lucky guy, right?
• 53:16
  Except for him hating that teammate, yeah.
• 53:18
  Just hates. Him Soto is the worst.
• 53:21
  Villain ever, though, because he in the next chapter after this
• 53:24
  entire weird photo shoot thing, he.
• 53:28
  Goads. Him by saying I'm going to come
• 53:30
  in your girlfriend, Why are you trying to piss off your best
• 53:33
  player? The only reason user winning any
• 53:36
  game so far is because of this man and you're just trying to
• 53:39
  ruin your own career. I know it doesn't make any
• 53:41
  sense. I think you just shut the fuck
• 53:43
  up. Ari is so self obsessed too.
• 53:46
  Oh, he is he. Starts.
• 53:47
  Off. As if he's supposed to be just
• 53:49
  casual, but he's obsessed with himself.
• 53:52
  Also, anytime they're not physically together, he harasses
• 53:56
  her by Facetiming her every two minutes.
• 53:58
  Yeah, and he'll be like, is she still in her apartment?
• 54:00
  Is she still in her apartment? Where is she going?
• 54:03
  Where you have a. Tracker app on her phone.
• 54:05
  Multiple he has. Backup ones, They're going to a
• 54:08
  future game and he doesn't let her wash the cum off her chest.
• 54:11
  That's fucking. Disgusting.
• 54:13
  And I know it would be car as well at that point.
• 54:15
  It's just ridiculous. Calm down and he bangs her in
• 54:18
  the CAR. So.
• 54:18
  That she has fresh cum to just sit on in the entire game.
• 54:22
  She's like there's. Nothing I love more than the cum
• 54:24
  dripping out of her. Well, I Why would?
• 54:27
  You want your Gothic. Sir, if you want her to think of
• 54:31
  you in this entire game, put her up in the fucking box.
• 54:34
  I'm sure there is one. Get us some wine.
• 54:37
  Get us some food. Let her have the best time out
• 54:39
  of her life. And again.
• 54:41
  It's funny because I kept. Using this expression, he he
• 54:43
  said his Dick was hard enough to cut glass.
• 54:46
  Sorry, what fucking calm down do you think?
• 54:51
  Because we were right before this game.
• 54:53
  He puts a finger in our arse. Right.
• 54:55
  And this is when I was starting to think about the anal to love
• 54:58
  Pipeline and I was like, does it count?
• 55:01
  Does it count? Sorry, does it count at this
• 55:04
  point? And I was like because he's
• 55:06
  already in love with her. But then it just proves that
• 55:09
  later on I was thinking. Exactly the same thing, because
• 55:12
  he. Sort of, said he.
• 55:14
  Loved her, but it was before anal happened and I was like,
• 55:18
  'cause we were all we were. Teetering we were teetering the
• 55:21
  line of the anal to love Pipeline.
• 55:23
  I was like we were flirting with it.
• 55:25
  We were. Flirting with it so.
• 55:26
  Fucking hard. And then later it happened and I
• 55:30
  was like, damn it, of course. Imagine sitting on a full ass
• 55:35
  wet patch the entire hockey game when you were fresh right
• 55:37
  beforehand because he refused to let you clean yourself.
• 55:42
  Not only sitting in fresh fucking cum, he's constantly
• 55:47
  with it on her chest too. So that's all crusty.
• 55:49
  Up there, it's all crusty. You can't tell me her shirt's
• 55:52
  not sitting weird like it's not. You can't see it on the top?
• 55:55
  Then he has these fucking signs put behind her.
• 56:00
  At this point. The sign should have just said
• 56:03
  she's sitting in my cum right now.
• 56:05
  That's all they needed to do. It wasn't even her fault.
• 56:08
  The signs came out. There was guys behind her
• 56:11
  harassing her and leaning over and being like you're so hot.
• 56:13
  I doubt anyone would do that that much.
• 56:15
  It's a fucking game focused people.
• 56:17
  So he pays someone of course, because he can't do anything
• 56:20
  himself. And then the signs are saying
• 56:22
  things like property of Ari Lancaster.
• 56:26
  What the fuck? And that's on the.
• 56:28
  Jumbotron. It's something like my queen.
• 56:31
  Every 5 minutes a new one. But I really think he I was
• 56:35
  really surprised he just didn't have her.
• 56:37
  Pussy is dripping in my cum. Imagine.
• 56:40
  Seeing that on the jumbo, that would give me the.
• 56:42
  Egg She's so insecure too, so the last thing you want is
• 56:45
  everyone's fucking attention. So him and.
• 56:48
  Lincoln They have their own private planes that they charter
• 56:53
  and purposefully hire old matronly women who bake homemade
• 56:59
  cookies. So that.
• 57:01
  None of none of the staff can hit on their girlfriends when
• 57:04
  they're in the private. You're telling.
• 57:05
  Me, they're they're this insecure that it.
• 57:09
  Can't even be like a jolly old man that that insecure Anything
• 57:12
  with a penis, anything. It can't.
• 57:14
  Even be a young woman? No.
• 57:16
  What the fuck? Not everyone's trying to jump on
• 57:19
  their Dick or your girlfriend. Just calm down.
• 57:22
  Hire a couple of gay men. Calm down.
• 57:24
  But they don't. What?
• 57:26
  They wouldn't do that, though. They would probably have women
• 57:28
  on their planes. Right before Grandma and Lions,
• 57:33
  there's a whole chapter where Ari pays Charlotte's debt.
• 57:38
  He pays Charlotte to get her kicked out because he can't cope
• 57:41
  with this woman, her not living. In his house?
• 57:44
  Immediately. Yeah, sort of.
• 57:46
  Tragic with it instead of just asking.
• 57:48
  Her. Hey, would you like to move in?
• 57:50
  It has to be a manipulation, Yeah, he.
• 57:52
  Couldn't cope, so she walks in to Charlotte getting fucked on
• 57:57
  her bed. She's getting.
• 57:58
  Railed by stutter 2 blokes. She's sucking some guy's Dick
• 58:02
  and then there's a massive dildo hanging out of her ass and I was
• 58:06
  like, this is too much. Soto.
• 58:09
  Is cornering her in the bathroom, rubbing his Dick,
• 58:12
  being like, Oh yeah, I've been waiting to fuck you sort of
• 58:15
  thing. Yeah, she does, she call?
• 58:17
  Yeah, yeah, she calls. He's there.
• 58:19
  He bashes through the wall and you can't tell me he's.
• 58:22
  Not waiting downstairs. Ready.
• 58:25
  He comes in. And then he bashes Sodo.
• 58:27
  I don't get why that has to be part of it.
• 58:31
  Fact it was. Just two.
• 58:33
  Birds. One stone situation and he's
• 58:35
  like, I'll kill you if you touch her.
• 58:36
  It's like, bro, you set this up. Like, what do you mean?
• 58:39
  This is what you wanted, you stupid fuck.
• 58:41
  He just wanted to look like a good boyfriend.
• 58:43
  Yeah, And she's like, can I please temporarily stay over at
• 58:46
  yours until I find somebody? And he's like, you never need to
• 58:49
  move anywhere, just live here forever.
• 58:51
  He's like bro, just calm down. And.
• 58:56
  That's when the he was. Already on her.
• 58:58
  Why can't she have? Any free will?
• 59:00
  No. Yep.
• 59:01
  He doesn't treat her. Like a person along the way, he
• 59:04
  isn't trying to get to know her like what's your favorite color
• 59:07
  type of movies do you like He's just like you are mine.
• 59:10
  He's just going. Off all the things he knows from
• 59:13
  when she was 10, which is even. More gross.
• 59:15
  Like, OK, fantasizing about a fucking child version of the
• 59:20
  girl that you're with. That's a weird thing.
• 59:23
  Another gala. Sorry, fancy that.
• 59:26
  I knew you would. Want to skim over the gala so
• 59:28
  hard that I wrote no notes, it just says gala.
• 59:33
  I love. That sorry, moving along.
• 59:37
  Moving. Straight past the Trotsky of
• 59:39
  another gala, there's another hockey game.
• 59:42
  Yes. Ari.
• 59:43
  Has a meltdown. Because girls have a sign about
• 59:46
  them sucking Lincoln's Dick in college and he's losing it
• 59:51
  because he's like, that girl sucked my Dick, not yours, bro.
• 59:55
  You're supposed to be cuffed up, Sir.
• 59:57
  Can you imagine if fucking Blake pointed to a guy in the crowd
• 1:00:01
  and said he gave me him? She would not.
• 1:00:04
  She would. Commit.
• 1:00:05
  Murder. He would murder.
• 1:00:07
  He would bomb the. Entire.
• 1:00:10
  I'm surprised. From his little tantrum that he
• 1:00:12
  just didn't run up the stairs and just be like it was my Dick.
• 1:00:15
  You sucked, I thought. You're supposed to be.
• 1:00:16
  Fiercely loyal, that was why doesn't.
• 1:00:19
  Matter right after the game they go to a club, I'm pretty sure.
• 1:00:24
  And the fuck? In the club.
• 1:00:26
  Where are they fucking? 'Cause I couldn't get this in my
• 1:00:29
  brain, I just all. I could think was a weird
• 1:00:31
  hallway towards the toilets. You know that the security.
• 1:00:34
  Cameras pointed exactly there, 'cause that's where everyone
• 1:00:36
  will be doing their drugs, yeah. Exactly that, everyone.
• 1:00:39
  Would be doing shady shit in the line to the bathroom.
• 1:00:42
  Yeah, apparently. There's no line to this
• 1:00:44
  bathroom. Sounded like he was just.
• 1:00:46
  Open air. And they were right near all the
• 1:00:48
  other teammates and stuff. And then he got so pissed,
• 1:00:50
  'cause she was giving him head. He had it down.
• 1:00:53
  Her. Throat full to the base, Yeah.
• 1:00:55
  And then he like pretty much whips his Dick out and then goes
• 1:00:59
  over to the teammates and goes, Nah, fuck this, we going home so
• 1:01:02
  we can fuck properly. So not only.
• 1:01:04
  Does he do that? He does it because he gets cum
• 1:01:06
  all over it, rubs it into it, and then he's like, oh, we must
• 1:01:10
  go to the bathroom and clean you off.
• 1:01:12
  And then he's like, Nah, we're just going to drag her dripping
• 1:01:15
  and cum again out of the club. It's all down.
• 1:01:17
  Her face, her chest. Can you imagine?
• 1:01:20
  Because your mascara dripping, You can't tell me.
• 1:01:23
  Because he's Dick so much, Matthew that she's not choking
• 1:01:26
  on it. Oh yeah, that.
• 1:01:28
  There's you're not. Taking in the.
• 1:01:29
  Side you're like vomiting. There was a.
• 1:01:31
  Point where? She was feeling really, I can't
• 1:01:33
  remember what exactly was going on, really insecure, really bad.
• 1:01:37
  And she was going to cut herself because she was thinking about
• 1:01:39
  what her fucking foster mom said.
• 1:01:41
  How morawit. Came to the restaurant and like
• 1:01:43
  harassed her. Yeah, just ripped her in the
• 1:01:46
  most Disney villain kind of way and tried to make.
• 1:01:49
  Ari tried to embarrass her in front of Ari.
• 1:01:51
  Like, look at this fucked up girlfriend you have.
• 1:01:53
  It's like bro, he probably knows he.
• 1:01:55
  Already knows he's. Got a whole fucking page on this
• 1:01:58
  bitch also, so. She's in privacy somewhere, so
• 1:02:01
  she goes to cut herself. She's got the thing ready to cut
• 1:02:05
  herself and everything. And then he, of course he bursts
• 1:02:07
  in and mansplains trauma to her and goes just hurt me.
• 1:02:12
  And then he starts, because that's not going to make her.
• 1:02:13
  Feel terrible and then he just. Grabs the whatever it will come
• 1:02:17
  with a razor razor and then just starts carving her name in his
• 1:02:21
  chest. Yeah.
• 1:02:23
  And he's like just. Hurt me instead if you must.
• 1:02:25
  And it's like bro, that's not how it's called.
• 1:02:27
  Self harm for a reason. You stupid fucked it's.
• 1:02:31
  Not. At that point.
• 1:02:33
  I would be concerned there is cameras in the bathroom because
• 1:02:36
  he just burst in right on time. What if she was shitting?
• 1:02:45
  She's just trying to. Have some privacy, she's.
• 1:02:47
  Trying to shit. That's not how cell phone works.
• 1:02:51
  He mansplains mental illness to her straight away.
• 1:02:54
  Just hurt me. You don't have to do that,
• 1:02:56
  babes. Calm down.
• 1:02:58
  Can you imagine? Him just being like you don't
• 1:02:59
  have to do that. Oh, thanks.
• 1:03:01
  Mental illness? Cured.
• 1:03:02
  It's cured. I'm.
• 1:03:03
  All good, I'm free. It's.
• 1:03:06
  Done. Finally, like, OK, you know
• 1:03:10
  what's even more fucked the next day?
• 1:03:12
  That could be more fucked no more.
• 1:03:14
  Fucked than him carving. This bee into himself, he.
• 1:03:18
  Goes and gets a. Tattoo of her name.
• 1:03:20
  And then she's like, he really did take my pain away.
• 1:03:24
  I'm like how? At this point.
• 1:03:28
  How? I at this point I'm pretty sure
• 1:03:30
  he gets off. On the pain, love.
• 1:03:32
  He just wanted her. Name.
• 1:03:34
  He wanted an excuse. He wanted her.
• 1:03:36
  Excuse is it above his? Tattoo The funny one tattoo
• 1:03:40
  fucks me where it is at. This point I don't know where.
• 1:03:43
  Anything is on. Anybody.
• 1:03:45
  That's not a compliment. I have this.
• 1:03:48
  Thing OK, where he cannot cope with tattoos and books anymore
• 1:03:52
  because they just trash all the They just trash all the time.
• 1:03:55
  It's supposed to mean something. They're.
• 1:03:57
  Just fucking. Ugly.
• 1:03:59
  There's never a good tattoo in a book.
• 1:04:01
  Justice. The Clock Justice for.
• 1:04:03
  Clock. I just think clock.
• 1:04:05
  Has been slept on. He goes for a photo.
• 1:04:07
  Street and spills all the tea, yeah.
• 1:04:11
  All the tea? And she's just like, get out of
• 1:04:13
  here. We're broken up and.
• 1:04:16
  Essentially. It all boils down to sorry
• 1:04:19
  Clark, you don't have a 10 inch pierced strong so I can't even
• 1:04:22
  be with you. Even though you have all this
• 1:04:24
  evidence that Ari is insane and he's manipulated the entire
• 1:04:27
  relationship from scratch, he essentially comes there and says
• 1:04:30
  that and he's like, I have the receipts he he had.
• 1:04:32
  Everything. He had all the evidence.
• 1:04:34
  And she was so. Chill about it.
• 1:04:36
  She didn't. She obviously ended up caring,
• 1:04:38
  but she didn't care in the end. But she didn't even think.
• 1:04:40
  About it. But she was like, Oh well, it's
• 1:04:43
  already happened though. So we're all ready to get that
• 1:04:46
  we're in love. We're.
• 1:04:48
  Together, like the penny's already dropped.
• 1:04:50
  Like, hello. I feel like she had a feeling
• 1:04:53
  like, is your brain still in there?
• 1:04:55
  It's not. Intact.
• 1:04:56
  At this point I just. Don't even.
• 1:04:57
  It's that way of the sleep, your Clark.
• 1:04:59
  Just let it go. Let it go.
• 1:05:02
  Go live. Your life move on.
• 1:05:03
  Clark, you're too good for this. She's never going to go back.
• 1:05:06
  To you from that this book is. A full true crime documentary
• 1:05:10
  waiting to happen. Oh, I know, I know.
• 1:05:12
  It's. Fucking psychotic.
• 1:05:13
  It's like dirty. John.
• 1:05:15
  And then it turns into murder, because there's no way that he's
• 1:05:18
  not murdering this girl, I feel like.
• 1:05:20
  That's the only other option if she didn't stay and of course.
• 1:05:25
  He freaks out so she understands that she can unblock Clark.
• 1:05:30
  Yeah, and I'm pretty sure at some stage she does.
• 1:05:32
  Yeah, so Clark can technically talk to her, but she still
• 1:05:35
  doesn't care. She's like, I'm with Ari now, so
• 1:05:38
  I think that's when he double s down and plans to manipulate her
• 1:05:42
  into getting married in Vegas. Why is she never allowed a
• 1:05:46
  choice? She is never.
• 1:05:48
  Allowed. This is so even after all of
• 1:05:51
  this. She finds it out.
• 1:05:52
  They go to an event together even though they're not talking.
• 1:05:55
  She gets super drunk because she somehow trusts him and he's
• 1:06:00
  like, you know what? She just get married.
• 1:06:02
  This all fixes everything. She already told Lincoln she was
• 1:06:06
  going to get married to her and that she's super drunk and he's
• 1:06:09
  like, you know what She said? We're getting married, so she
• 1:06:12
  consented to marriage. Oh my.
• 1:06:14
  God, no surprise. There.
• 1:06:16
  She never wants anything to do with him after that.
• 1:06:19
  Now she's getting Moody because she's like, what?
• 1:06:22
  She wakes up with a big rock on her finger and then he goes.
• 1:06:25
  Oh, Wifey. And she's like, what?
• 1:06:27
  But. Imagine just saying it like
• 1:06:29
  that. Oh, wifey.
• 1:06:30
  Oh my God. And OK, so right after the
• 1:06:32
  wedding quote UN quote wedding, now Ari is literally screaming
• 1:06:37
  at her because she unblocked Clark, even though there was
• 1:06:40
  plenty of reason to unblock Clark.
• 1:06:42
  So they're living in his house. Like he's obviously like she's
• 1:06:45
  got no other. Choice.
• 1:06:46
  At this point, she well, she was living.
• 1:06:48
  There previously. He just packs up, He's sitting
• 1:06:51
  ominously on the bed, packs up a suitcase, and he goes, I want to
• 1:06:56
  divorce. I'm just going to go back to
• 1:06:59
  Dallas. He makes a big deal, like a big
• 1:07:01
  draw. At that point, I'm just.
• 1:07:03
  Like he's manipulating you again and because she.
• 1:07:06
  Has. Anxious attachment.
• 1:07:08
  She's like, Oh no, like the reverse psychology.
• 1:07:11
  Got her good. Yeah, And he goes, I've got this
• 1:07:13
  lady who's a divorce lawyer. All you have to do is sign the
• 1:07:15
  dotted line and then that's it. It's like, bro, you should have
• 1:07:18
  just annulled it because she was fucking drunk.
• 1:07:21
  Yeah, it shouldn't. Be a divorce.
• 1:07:22
  It should be an annulment. She signed up for counselling.
• 1:07:26
  Yeah. Thank.
• 1:07:27
  Fuck. She smashes her scale.
• 1:07:30
  She tells herself. She's perfect.
• 1:07:32
  She's worked it all out at this point.
• 1:07:34
  Magically done the work. It's magically.
• 1:07:38
  All better this. Divorce lawyer just rocks up at
• 1:07:41
  the house, so obviously Ari's been away.
• 1:07:43
  Yeah, for a while. He's he's only gone for a couple
• 1:07:46
  of hours. Yeah, yeah, she's.
• 1:07:47
  Like. Oh, well, I'm here to, you know,
• 1:07:50
  process your divorce, and your divorce is a difficult time and.
• 1:07:55
  And then she. I can't believe.
• 1:07:56
  We did the same thing and then. She goes Oh.
• 1:07:59
  By the way, here's the paperwork that Ari did to unadopt you from
• 1:08:05
  your foster parents out here manipulating.
• 1:08:07
  Her. Again, but how could a grown man
• 1:08:11
  who's not even related to her process and unadoption on her
• 1:08:16
  behalf? And she has no idea about it?
• 1:08:18
  He went and. Forced her parents into it.
• 1:08:21
  That's what he went. He got on a plane one day, went
• 1:08:24
  to their house and was like, use it broke.
• 1:08:25
  He's cheating on you. Sign this document and just but
• 1:08:28
  you. Can't just do that without her
• 1:08:31
  being part of it. I don't know.
• 1:08:33
  Woman. At this point I don't know how
• 1:08:35
  it. Works.
• 1:08:37
  I don't know. He sits there and he's like.
• 1:08:40
  He's going to provide you with $10 million.
• 1:08:43
  I'd be like, yes, give me that $10 million buy Sears same and
• 1:08:48
  she's like I. Don't want anything from him.
• 1:08:51
  Oh my God. But then, he's just such a good
• 1:08:54
  man. OK, this is the.
• 1:08:55
  Next thing that took me out, this is the.
• 1:08:58
  Funniest. Fucking shit.
• 1:08:59
  OK, this is her. I ran to the.
• 1:09:02
  Garage. Jumping into the Maserati he'd
• 1:09:04
  just bought me, turning on the ignition.
• 1:09:10
  It's a push to start. But I mean if look.
• 1:09:15
  If Ari bought me a Maserati, I would put up with his shit too.
• 1:09:23
  But but we're getting. Too ahead of ourselves, as if
• 1:09:25
  she could leave the premises. No, no, because she.
• 1:09:27
  Walked away from the. Divorce lawyer lady, Of course.
• 1:09:29
  Of course. And then this is what it's
• 1:09:31
  described. And there stood Ari, a windswept
• 1:09:35
  constellation. I was desperate to see What does
• 1:09:37
  that even mean, Sis? One wouldn't.
• 1:09:40
  You be a. Little bit suspicious that he's
• 1:09:42
  just at the driveway at the correct time.
• 1:09:45
  Why? Is he a windy?
• 1:09:46
  Constellation. Like.
• 1:09:50
  What? What?
• 1:09:51
  What is the star in the night? The sky.
• 1:09:55
  Hello. He's a goddess.
• 1:09:59
  What does a windswept constellation mean?
• 1:10:04
  Are you? Is he?
• 1:10:04
  There. I don't.
• 1:10:07
  I cannot tell you. Guess what, Emily?
• 1:10:10
  What they did, they did. They did.
• 1:10:18
  And this? Is where I.
• 1:10:19
  Lost all our I was like, we already we already teeted the
• 1:10:24
  point It's never gonna get much more than this.
• 1:10:27
  And then I was like, it's fine, We're already there.
• 1:10:30
  It's already done. No, they're at the point where
• 1:10:33
  they decide they love each other so much and that she wants to
• 1:10:36
  stick his big ass giant that. I'm just sorry, overwhelmed
• 1:10:43
  that. I can't even say gigantic,
• 1:10:45
  gigantic, no prep, no prep. No.
• 1:10:49
  Prep. True love is the prep.
• 1:10:50
  No. And this is when.
• 1:10:51
  She finds out that. He got a ring.
• 1:10:56
  Pierced into his. Dick.
• 1:10:57
  Oh my. God, and it's a ring a gold band
• 1:11:00
  emulates. Her.
• 1:11:01
  Ring or something. I'm like put it on a.
• 1:11:03
  Necklace like a. Normal person hasn't got any
• 1:11:06
  room. Left.
• 1:11:08
  She licks. His poopy.
• 1:11:11
  Dick. Yeah.
• 1:11:11
  Yeah, well, she passed out. She passed out for 30 minutes
• 1:11:19
  and he was like, I've just in that time I cleaned us both up.
• 1:11:22
  She shit herself. She 100% shit herself.
• 1:11:25
  There's shit everywhere. It's OK that she licks.
• 1:11:27
  His. Sorry, it's still poopy.
• 1:11:29
  There's no, there's no. Convincing.
• 1:11:31
  Me otherwise. He didn't clean it up.
• 1:11:33
  He would never have heard of lick his poopy dish.
• 1:11:36
  He would love the. Shit dripping out of her ass.
• 1:11:38
  He would probably lick that up. Probably.
• 1:11:44
  She ate. All the food she's ever ate and
• 1:11:47
  you ever in her life a fucking couple of hours before and you
• 1:11:51
  telling me that her system wasn't so shocked by the fact
• 1:11:54
  that it finally has food in it. And also, you know when you're
• 1:11:58
  upset? Yeah, sometimes your stomach
• 1:12:01
  just betrays you because you're upset you're shitting herself.
• 1:12:04
  She was just. Fully upset because they were
• 1:12:06
  about to get divorced and then all this huge emotional roller
• 1:12:10
  coaster and you're telling me her ass is just firm and ready?
• 1:12:13
  Shut up. Shut up, shut up, shut up.
• 1:12:16
  I didn't even. Think Ari was scum enough to
• 1:12:20
  have a fake divorce lawyer? No.
• 1:12:23
  See here's. The thing I was like, he
• 1:12:25
  manipulated the whole thing. And then when he was like, yeah,
• 1:12:29
  I didn't think of a fake attorney.
• 1:12:31
  I didn't think he would have someone planted in the fucking
• 1:12:33
  courthouse. But here we are, their
• 1:12:36
  relationship. Never developed past the sexual
• 1:12:39
  plane? No.
• 1:12:40
  So the the depth in the relationship she had with Clark
• 1:12:43
  was automatically better. How are we as the readers
• 1:12:45
  supposed to root for them? No.
• 1:12:47
  No one deserves all. This.
• 1:12:49
  No, he you're telling me he's not going to gaslight you for
• 1:12:52
  the rest of his entire life? She never.
• 1:12:55
  Has a choice. She never knows what's going on.
• 1:12:57
  Nothing. I feel like this book was. 50%
• 1:12:59
  smart, maybe 5% plot and the rest was just ridiculousness,
• 1:13:03
  yeah. Fucking go hard.
• 1:13:05
  Go home. I can't.
• 1:13:08
  Enjoy the sex if I hate the characters Fair.
• 1:13:12
  Fair. There's got to be a.
• 1:13:13
  Level of enjoyment, The only thing I.
• 1:13:15
  Do appreciate in this book is that you know how they do fool
• 1:13:21
  play once and then that never happens again.
• 1:13:23
  There was constant mouth clip, so at least because he was so
• 1:13:27
  desperate. So desperate.
• 1:13:29
  Also why? Did the book just keep dragging
• 1:13:31
  on? It should have ended when he
• 1:13:34
  appeared and they were back together and then anal and then
• 1:13:36
  end scene it just kept dragging. We know, we know.
• 1:13:39
  It's done once the anal. Happens.
• 1:13:41
  There's nothing more from that. There's no break up after that.
• 1:13:45
  The anal is it. We don't need to know.
• 1:13:47
  I just want to know. What happens in authors minds to
• 1:13:51
  go, they say I love you. Yep.
• 1:13:53
  Anal. Why?
• 1:13:55
  Because. It's the sacred.
• 1:13:56
  It's no other the guy's been in there.
• 1:13:58
  Have you noticed that every time because?
• 1:14:00
  They're all ass virgins. They're.
• 1:14:02
  Not pussy virgins. They're ass virgins.
• 1:14:04
  And that's how you know that it's true love.
• 1:14:06
  At this point, I want. A book where it starts with anal
• 1:14:09
  and ends with pussy. I've.
• 1:14:12
  Just had enough. So there was random.
• 1:14:14
  Things that they didn't need to wrap up at the end, like his
• 1:14:17
  Dick getting. Stuck inside her EW, yes.
• 1:14:20
  And also they kept trying to use the circle of trust from Meet
• 1:14:23
  the Fockers or whatever it was. And it's a group of grown men
• 1:14:27
  that literally this. Is the circle of trust.
• 1:14:29
  Caught. It they sit around.
• 1:14:31
  Together, away from their girlfriends and and they sit
• 1:14:34
  there refreshing their girlfriend's location over and
• 1:14:37
  over and over and over and over. Just be with the girlfriend at
• 1:14:40
  that point. Why are you even fucking circle
• 1:14:42
  jerking each other? They can't.
• 1:14:43
  Give them any more than what they just circle.
• 1:14:46
  Jerking each other and refreshing the location they're
• 1:14:49
  not. Allowed to leave the house.
• 1:14:50
  Because that means they're going to cheat on us.
• 1:14:52
  They can't, yeah. They can't even have jobs
• 1:14:54
  because someone might talk to them.
• 1:14:57
  I don't. Understand.
• 1:14:58
  It's like a couple of teenagers on Snapchat maps.
• 1:15:02
  Is it dark? Romance.
• 1:15:04
  If the man is just insecure, no. It's sad because they're
• 1:15:08
  literally. Acting like. 12 year old.
• 1:15:10
  Boys being like the girls, they're.
• 1:15:12
  Going to that party, but they're not.
• 1:15:13
  Even going to the party, they're literally in their own separate
• 1:15:16
  apartments at home. And they're probably.
• 1:15:19
  Checking their. Messages.
• 1:15:19
  They're flipping from their messages, the spy app to their
• 1:15:23
  location. Messages to location the girls
• 1:15:25
  probably on TikTok. She's trying to live.
• 1:15:28
  And then in between. That they're Facetiming.
• 1:15:31
  Yeah, that's too much. You'd never get a break.
• 1:15:34
  And then there's so. Walker, who we haven't talked
• 1:15:37
  about much, but he's another guy.
• 1:15:38
  He's another. He's just.
• 1:15:39
  Another version of the other two, but he's joining.
• 1:15:42
  Their little cult as in the group of friends and he's over
• 1:15:46
  there and he doesn't even have a girlfriend to be doing this too
• 1:15:49
  and he's just accepting this behaviour.
• 1:15:52
  I swear to God, if I walked into a room and I had female friends
• 1:15:55
  and they were refreshing their boyfriend's location so I'd be
• 1:15:57
  like because he's. Just as bat shit crazy.
• 1:16:01
  I had hope for him and then it just went downhill.
• 1:16:04
  There was even a bit where they decided to fucking.
• 1:16:07
  I don't understand this. Clark comes in again and he's
• 1:16:11
  watching them have sex and she's just putting on a full show.
• 1:16:15
  Just he. Didn't do.
• 1:16:18
  Anything. He hasn't done a single thing
• 1:16:21
  except just not get it. Where was this?
• 1:16:23
  Right at the end. There like.
• 1:16:27
  They were fucking. This is when Walker was fucking
• 1:16:30
  someone in the stands and he had only a sock on his Dick.
• 1:16:33
  It's right at the end. This is when I was skimming to.
• 1:16:36
  But she they're fucking each other in the stadium somewhere
• 1:16:41
  and Clark walks in and is watching them.
• 1:16:43
  Fuck. Why is this man?
• 1:16:44
  Always on the other coast, like does at this point go.
• 1:16:48
  Home just go home. Find a new.
• 1:16:49
  Girlfriend. Have the time of your.
• 1:16:52
  Life. But they're fucking and she's
• 1:16:54
  like, Ari didn't notice. And then after all that, he's
• 1:16:56
  like, oh, I knew he was there, but it's.
• 1:16:58
  Just. Why are you?
• 1:17:00
  Constantly trying to prove it to Clark when he's done nothing
• 1:17:03
  wrong. Well, she was putting on the.
• 1:17:04
  Biggest show of her life. I'm like you if you're not
• 1:17:07
  enjoying it. Just say so.
• 1:17:09
  Just say so. Oh my God.
• 1:17:11
  So the end Is Walker joining in on their little weird circle
• 1:17:14
  joke of insanity? Yeah.
• 1:17:15
  And he's decided, oh, I'm going to find my own girl to rope into
• 1:17:19
  a relationship. And she doesn't know it yet, but
• 1:17:21
  I'm going to be a daddy and stuff and it's like, calm down.
• 1:17:24
  How? I don't know if people know
• 1:17:26
  this, but you can just ask someone out on a date,
• 1:17:29
  literally. Send them a message.
• 1:17:32
  You're. You know you be in there to know
• 1:17:34
  someone be in there all but be. Their friend What the fuck?
• 1:17:38
  Well. You get.
• 1:17:39
  Or you could just wait till someone likes you back the fact
• 1:17:42
  that. Lincoln had drugged Monroe and
• 1:17:46
  tied her to a bed for like 2 weeks straight.
• 1:17:48
  Says a lot about their friendship.
• 1:17:50
  How do you find another person just as unhinged as you?
• 1:17:53
  2 How? Insecurity.
• 1:17:56
  It's fucking. Wild.
• 1:17:59
  On the plus side, it. Was very unpredictable in a way,
• 1:18:01
  but predictable, yeah. He knew it was unhinged.
• 1:18:05
  Just, yeah, It was just fucking. Unhinged drew us a lot of
• 1:18:08
  curveballs. And for that I will give it
• 1:18:10
  because I had a very large amount of notes, so it upset me
• 1:18:14
  a lot. So I'm going to appreciate how
• 1:18:17
  upset I was. And so I'll probably give it a
• 1:18:22
  two out of five, yeah. No more.
• 1:18:25
  No less, no more, no less. I agree there's nothing.
• 1:18:29
  Like I could have given it a one, but it's just it's it's
• 1:18:32
  entertaining. It's just fucking weird, I know.
• 1:18:36
  Just. The girl.
• 1:18:37
  Personality that he has. You know what I.
• 1:18:39
  Would have gave it more. But the fact that I.
• 1:18:42
  Had to listen to fucking erections and wet panties for
• 1:18:46
  like the entire book. That's all I read.
• 1:18:49
  Like if you've read the build up, there's nothing.
• 1:18:52
  There's no emotional, no. I just love.
• 1:18:55
  To know what, Imagine being so stressed, day in and day out
• 1:18:59
  about where your girlfriend's going to be.
• 1:19:01
  Why I can't? Imagine it.
• 1:19:02
  I don't have time for that. If you have that much time to be
• 1:19:06
  that stressed, just don't. Just don't even be in a
• 1:19:09
  relationship. Nah, you can't.
• 1:19:10
  Hack it. Wow.
• 1:19:12
  So that's. Probably everything, hey.
• 1:19:13
  That was a lot for a book. Like.
• 1:19:16
  This. It's a lot.
• 1:19:18
  It's a little book, but there's so much in it, yes.
• 1:19:21
  Thanks for. Joining us on Lose the Plot with
• 1:19:23
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• 1:19:25
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• 1:19:27
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• 1:19:31
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