Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / When They Go, They Go Fast with Abigail Heringer and Noah Erb

Transcript

When They Go, They Go Fast with Abigail Heringer and Noah Erb · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Hey, guys, welcome to the Almost Sais podcast. Today we
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: are joined by one of Bachelor Nations. Happily ever after
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Noah and Abigail are here. They're going to tell us,
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: hopefully about their wedding next month, and Abigail's new book
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: that's coming out, and of course we're going to try
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: to get some dirt from Noah about his brother Aaron's
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: stint on The Bachelorette.
• 0:31
  Speaker 3: Hey, guys, welcome.
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: Thanks guys for having us.
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: Howdy howdy you guys. It's really fun to see the
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: two of you, because I do feel like, coming out
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: of Paradise, you're one of the last couples that I
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: can vividly remember making it work after Paradise, and now
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: that Paradise is gone, we don't have a lot of
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: other couples to celebrate, so I'm really glad that you
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: came here to talk to us. Abigail, you obviously have
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: been working really hard on this new project, and that's
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: where I want to kick it off. You have this
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: incredible book, your memoir coming out. How much time did
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: you put into like making this book happen.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so The Deaf Girl is about three years in
• 1:16
  Speaker 4: the making. It's just a lot of work that goes
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: into a book that I just didn't really know about
• 1:21
  Speaker 4: going into it. But yeah, it took my mom and
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: I about three years to kind of think about what
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: angle we wanted to do and just putting the words
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: on the pages, and it just came out I think
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: two weeks ago now. So we just busy. We did
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: a little book tour and trying to do that while
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: you know, finishing up planning the wedding was a lot
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: this month. But now I was just really proud of
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: the book and hopefully I can reach people going through
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: a similar thing that my mom and I went through.
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: That was kind of the biggest goal with The Deaf Girl.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: Can you explain how you decided to have your mom's
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: perspective about having a child who is death in the book.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So during that season kind of when that was airing,
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: I felt like the questions were pretty split. I think
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: half of the people were really curious about just my
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: experience of culplor implant hearing loss. But most of the
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: questions I felt like, we're actually from parents of little
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: kids that just got the diagnosis. They are just so lost,
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: so confused, just so many questions, a lot worries, and
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: so I just thought my mom's perspective would be really
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: valuable in that sense of just hearing from somebody that
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: has been through it, and I guess in a way
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: is on the other end of it. I think just
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: having that kind of support in the book, we just
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: felt like it would be really beneficial for those families.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: The title is striking. I think when you read it
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: the Deaf Girl. What made you title this the deaf Girl?
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Because I know you've also talked publicly about how that
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: phrasing or categorization of you maybe for a long time
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: with some that you stayed away from. So why do
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: you call it then the thing that you were most
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: you know, pushing back on.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a little ironic, but you know, I think
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: just growing up I just never really identified as being deaf.
• 3:12
  Speaker 4: It just was the title that I just didn't really
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: well partly identified with, just because growing up I always
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: thought the deaf community was the sign language community, and
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: I don't use sign language, and so I just never
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: fully identified with it. And then combined with just kind
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: of going on the show I think that was kind
• 3:30
  Speaker 4: of my first taste of feeling tokenized, I think in
• 3:33
  Speaker 4: a sense of just people you know, referring to me
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: as the deaf girl, calling me fraugile and all these things,
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: and kind of just a lot of stereotypes around kind
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: of disability and dating. And so when coming up with
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: the title, I definitely wanted something catchy, So I think
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: it did the job there. But I think also with
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: just the goal of you know, this is a label,
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: but if you open up the book, there's, you know,
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: so much more that goes on behind the label, And
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: so I just really wanted to encourage people just to
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: you know, see the title, have questions, and then open
• 4:03
  Speaker 4: it up and realize that, you know, it's so much
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: more than, you know, just the label that other people
• 4:09
  Speaker 4: try to assign to you.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: Noah, how is it? Is there any difference being in
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: a relationship with somebody who is deaf them being a
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: relationship with somebody who is.
• 4:21
  Speaker 5: Not none at all? It's totally the same. No, I'm
• 4:26
  Speaker 5: just kidding. There are obviously there are. There are definitely differences.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: And for us it's interesting because I feel like a
• 4:35
  Speaker 5: lot of stuff we go out of our way to
• 4:38
  Speaker 5: talk about it and then it just becomes not a
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: big deal. That's kind of how we approach dating and
• 4:44
  Speaker 5: deafness and all the ins and outs. There's a lot
• 4:49
  Speaker 5: of things I would have never thought about. That's part
• 4:51
  Speaker 5: of what I did like about the book is, you know,
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: I've a background in nursing. I've been around you know,
• 4:58
  Speaker 5: deaf people before, quote unquote, so I kind of had
• 5:00
  Speaker 5: it all figured out right, But reading the book is
• 5:04
  Speaker 5: a whole different view of life to me, even with
• 5:08
  Speaker 5: you know, a medical background and so, you know, a difference,
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: like a small difference is I have to repeat myself
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: multiple times. That's not something that's normal i'd say from
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: a previous relationship. But this person, actually, you know, loves
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: so I have no problem repeating myself. But yeah, I'll
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: say the same thing five times over or in the morning.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: She won't have her quicklar im plane on. That's an adjustment.
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: I gotta go find her around the house, you know,
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: text her, see where she's at. But it's little things
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: like that that I guess could be seen as an inconvenience,
• 5:45
  Speaker 5: but kind of throughout the day and it's a back
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: and forth, they're not that huge. I'd say, there's like
• 5:52
  Speaker 5: some safety things and some like considerations that I would
• 5:57
  Speaker 5: have never thought because I've never been deaf. But it's
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: one of those things that obviously having a book is
• 6:03
  Speaker 5: like a cheat code because I get a glimpse into
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: her life. But it's one of those things that you
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: just kind of slowly, I don't know, adapt to, I
• 6:11
  Speaker 5: guess without thinking about it.
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: Building on Ashley's question a bit, I know when I
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: wrote my book, my wife read it, and there was
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: just so much that she learned about me by reading it,
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: and stuff I didn't realize that she didn't know, or
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: maybe just like I hadn't, I forgot to tell her
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: or never thought about telling her or whatever. No, what
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: are some things that stood out to you when you
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: read the book that were new to you after being
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: together for now? How many years have you? Guys dated? Four? Three?
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: Three and a half Yeah, three and a half, so
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: three and a half years together. You feel like you
• 6:57
  Speaker 3: know everything. But I'm sure there's some stuff that popped up.
• 7:02
  Speaker 5: I mean, most of it, honestly, was the childhood. You know,
• 7:06
  Speaker 5: everyone everyone thinks they live a very unique life, and
• 7:10
  Speaker 5: then you hear about someone else's life. You're like Okay,
• 7:13
  Speaker 5: there are similarities, but there's also some stark differences. So
• 7:17
  Speaker 5: I think a lot of hers was U.
• 7:20
  Speaker 4: Said, Paradise a little bit too, You learned somethings.
• 7:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And my perception of like why I'm on Paradise
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: thinking to myself, Okay, this is pretty back, Like this
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: is an obvious thing. I say I love you, you say
• 7:33
  Speaker 5: you love me. We're both happy, we both like each other.
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: We you know, get married and live happily ever after.
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: But I never even until honestly, until reading the book,
• 7:44
  Speaker 5: I never even thought of how different her experience was
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: than mine. Just just the things like me thinking, Okay,
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: this chick doesn't want to talk, whereas her she's like, okay,
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: I'm trying to figure out who's talking. You're not even
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: facing me, You're drinking of mimosa, looking at you know,
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: a bird talking to me casually. It's like there's all
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: these things that I never even thought could contribute to
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: her not being outspoken or whatever, you know, the thought was.
• 8:17
  Speaker 5: So it was kind of like her experience on Paradise
• 8:20
  Speaker 5: made more sense to me. The hardships with her mom's
• 8:24
  Speaker 5: perspective and Rachel and you know, this was an age
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: without the Internet, I kind of just assume everyone's treated well,
• 8:31
  Speaker 5: you know, we all love each other, but that's not
• 8:34
  Speaker 5: the case. You know, I've met so many girls on
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: the book tour that specifically asked about dating and how
• 8:40
  Speaker 5: hard it's been, and you'd think, oh, okay, everyone's life
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: experience isn't the same as mine. So it's just a
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: lot of different I guess, lenses that I would have
• 8:49
  Speaker 5: never thought of unless I, like you said, specifically asked her,
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: which that's a very nuanced or weird thing to specifically ask.
• 8:59
  Speaker 5: So it was kind of cool getting that perspective, but
• 9:02
  Speaker 5: it was, you know, a lot of different perspective that
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: I had never thought of.
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: That's super interesting.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: Writing a book is always a massive undertaking an Abigail,
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: I know this is one that was obviously near and
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: dear to your heart. Did you find it difficult, like
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: remembering some of the ways that you were mistreated or
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: some of the ways that you felt like an outsider
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: as a child, and then even going on paradise remembering that,
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: like I don't want to call it an insecurity maybe,
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: but just like that inner dialogue that you're having where
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: it's like, I don't know if Noah's actually into me
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: because he has his back turned to me and he's
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: not really talking to me. Was it hard to relive
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: any of these moments as you put it on paper?
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so, I mean definitely, like the early childhood stuff
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: that was hard to remember. So I think that's why
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: having my mom's perspective was really valuable and bringing her in.
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: And then with like the show and Paradise, I think
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: both of those were difficult, but I think much needed
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: to work through because I think I had just always
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: felt like how I acted on the shows in the
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: sense of just having kind of that inner dialogue and
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: feeling of like, you know, I didn't fully enjoy that experience.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: You know, why is that or why did I react
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: that way when mad or Noah did those things, and
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: just unpacking a lot of that, and I think just
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: even past my disability, I think it was just a
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: lot of like dating tendencies as well, and just trying
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: to figure out, Okay, I'm feeling a certain way about this,
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: but it's like therapy. It's like, Okay, I gotta work
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: through it. I got to unpack all the layers and
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: really dive deep and try to figure out Okay, why
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: did I respond that way or why was I feeling
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: that way in the underlying issue, And so that was
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: something I've never really had to do before. I think
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: the show was the first time I really ever had
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: to like talk about my feelings out loud, So there's
• 10:53
  Speaker 4: that element, and then writing the book alone, having to
• 10:57
  Speaker 4: do that on a different magnitude really uncomfortable at first,
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: but I'm really proud that I did it. But that
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: was definitely one of I think the uncomfortable moments was
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: just laying all of that out there and just kind
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: of letting people digest it however they want to and
• 11:13
  Speaker 4: their perspectives on it. But so far it's been it's
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: been good. I'm only gone kind feedback, so that's good.
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: I will say. It has been cool to watch it
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: go from which I didn't really know she was intent
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: on writing a book until I started to see, you know,
• 11:31
  Speaker 5: she's done so many meetings with her mom. Who's this
• 11:33
  Speaker 5: other lady I should probably ask questions? So it's cool
• 11:37
  Speaker 5: to see it transform from you know, a passion project
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: getting the story out with her mom's perspective, to seeing
• 11:45
  Speaker 5: a little bit of the reaction from the deaf community,
• 11:47
  Speaker 5: the non deaf community people and it taking on its
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: whole kind of own thing. When all of it started
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: was try to like figure out what her life story
• 11:59
  Speaker 5: was with her mom and get it out there for people.
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: So it has been really cool to see it take
• 12:03
  Speaker 5: its own sort of form, whatever that is. You know,
• 12:07
  Speaker 5: who knows, but it has been cool to see.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: That's super fun.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: Getting off the topic a little bit and still talking
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: about Paradise, you guys are one of quite a bit
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: of couples who have come off Paradise and ended up
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: getting engaged off the show, and you're getting married next month.
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Now that we're a little bit removed from it, can
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: you guys let us in a little bit on how
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: the breakup went down on Paradise, Like was it really legit?
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: Because like we're all, you know, we get it here.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Sometimes they're like, well, if you can't propose to her tomorrow,
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: then you better break up with her today.
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: I so that was, like them a long question we
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: got even in person when people would like come up
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: to us after Paradise, they were life, it is the
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: breakup real? And yes, the breakup was very real. Like
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: that was a big shot to me. I really thought
• 13:05
  Speaker 4: we were going to leave Paradise together, and it was
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: one of those things I'm writing the book when I
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: went back and obviously watching the show back, I was like, Okay,
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: I really should not have been that surprised that it
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: was coming. And I think for a few reasons. So
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: I think the biggest one is we told producers from
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: day one that we were not going to get engaged
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: on the show. That was just something that Yeah, I
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: think that was just something that we had talked about
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: because we had the first date and that was something
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: that we had talked about, you know, kind of what
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: your goal of paradise is, and we were taking it seriously.
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: But I just think the idea of an engagement after
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: two weeks really scared us, and so we just said,
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: we're just going to take that pressure off. We're just
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: going to get to know each other. So I don't
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: know if maybe that was like an angle that the
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: producers maybe saw with us, and then just a lack
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: of communication. I mean, you guys saw he said I
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: love you. I'm TuS misheard. Last didn't think he intended
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: to say it because we had a conversation saying that
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: we weren't gonna feel rush to say I Love You again,
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: taking things slow and he said it out left field.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: So it was just so many like things that we
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: just could not be on the same page about. And
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: I think a big part of that was the show's
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: timing of everything, like it's just like, Okay, this is
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: the week of I Love you, this is the week
• 14:23
  Speaker 4: of fantasy suites, and I think we just we're got it. Yeah,
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: he just really struggled. I think, keep up with that
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: timeline while trying to figure out, okay, do we really
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: like each other? Is the elements of paradise and so
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: all of it was very real. But I think that's
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: why it was really easy for us to reconnect afterwards.
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: And I think people get hung up on that of
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: Danielle saying he said that you were his person, how
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: can you get back together with him? And part of me,
• 14:52
  Speaker 4: it's like, the thing is, it's the show's elements, Like
• 14:55
  Speaker 4: we might not be each other's people on the show
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: in that element, is really hard to find somebody that
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: you match up perfectly with in that environment. You know,
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: it works for some couples, but it didn't work for us.
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: And but I think once you take away the show element,
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: it was really easy for us to get back together.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: So yeah, that's kind of if that answers the question.
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: For me, it was no, it was definitely real. I
• 15:23
  Speaker 5: get made fun of because I like would disappear to
• 15:25
  Speaker 5: the beach and walk around, and I think it was
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: actually uh beca. I had a good conversation with Becca.
• 15:31
  Speaker 5: I was out there journaling and She's like, dude, what
• 15:34
  Speaker 5: am I doing here? And I'm like, dude, I feel you.
• 15:38
  Speaker 5: And I was so perplexed because I had this little
• 15:43
  Speaker 5: inkling of there's something special, but it was like always
• 15:47
  Speaker 5: so like so close and then not quite and it
• 15:51
  Speaker 5: was so close and then not quite. So for like
• 15:54
  Speaker 5: the I love you in real life, if I said
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: I love you and the girl was just kind of
• 16:01
  Speaker 5: like yeah, that would be kind of like okay, what
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: was that? So that for me was like the final
• 16:08
  Speaker 5: things weren't working out, but I wanted them to. So
• 16:10
  Speaker 5: it got to a point where it was like is
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: it me forcing? Like am I forcing this just because
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: I have a little feeling? And then you have the
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: show element the producers and she was slow and I
• 16:24
  Speaker 5: was pretty gung host. So once I made the decision
• 16:27
  Speaker 5: like all right, this is not it, I don't care
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: if I look bad, I just need to get it
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: out and go home. Like That's kind of the point
• 16:35
  Speaker 5: that I got to where it's like there's no going back.
• 16:37
  Speaker 5: At that point, I was just so done with kind
• 16:40
  Speaker 5: of everything. I was just tired, you know. I'm like,
• 16:44
  Speaker 5: I wanted to work out, but it's not working out.
• 16:47
  Speaker 5: So for after the show, it was easy because I'm
• 16:50
  Speaker 5: like this, I can totally control. You know. We went
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: out to a cabin in Oregon with no cell phone
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: service and it's just us, and if we can't get along,
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: just us, it's that's a pretty good answer. There's nobody
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: to blame, you know for that. So after it was
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: perfect because it was just like, all right, what was that?
• 17:09
  Speaker 5: Is there still any feeling here? Let's figure it out.
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: But at the time, it's just the emotions were so high,
• 17:15
  Speaker 5: but they were at different places that it just didn't
• 17:18
  Speaker 5: match up.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: What was that conversation like when you decided to go
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: to the cabin?
• 17:23
  Speaker 5: So yeah, where you at?
• 17:31
  Speaker 4: No, it was a little bit more classy than that.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: He texted me when we were flying out. So we
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: actually had to stay an extra day, I think, just
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: to film some follow up interviews and stuff. So I
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: actually didn't fly until two days after the break up,
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: and he sent me a text at the airport, I
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: think Jess, a very neutral text of Jess, I'm so
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: sorry that it had to play out.
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: That way, blah blah blah.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: But you know, I was feeling a certain type of things,
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: and of course I'm calling him out, and he just said,
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: can we have a phone call and just kind of
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: house things out. So we did have a long phone
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: call when I landed in New York because I was
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: living there at the time, and then kind of texted
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: a little bit for a few days, but there was
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: just no, oh, we're about together. It was kind of
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: like a situation ship at that point. I was like,
• 18:16
  Speaker 4: I can't do that. When the show's about to air,
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: you break up with me, Like that's just taking me back.
• 18:21
  Speaker 5: And I was thinking that, but I'm like I want
• 18:25
  Speaker 5: to see, like I just want to see what's there.
• 18:27
  Speaker 5: But I can't fully commit to this after because if
• 18:30
  Speaker 5: I say you're not my person and then the following
• 18:32
  Speaker 5: week I get back with you and then we break up. Also,
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: it's like, okay, bro, what are you doing?
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: This is so I know, yeah, I said, we can't
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: talk anymore, like we just need to take space kind
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: of thing.
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: I think.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: We took two days and he texted me and said,
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: I want to fly out. I want to come see you.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: I want to see you make this work. And I
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: said bet, and he came out to Oregon and it
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: was just a really good trip. Like I think that's
• 18:59
  Speaker 4: just like what we need. It was just two people,
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: no producers, no agenda, just are we compatible and.
• 19:06
  Speaker 5: We're to start with the basics.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: No, I love it. That's all you have to do
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: is not talk to him for a few days. Then
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: I'll call you like I must see you.
• 19:16
  Speaker 3: Yes, now you're definitely compatible. You do have a wedding
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: coming up. This is a really really exciting thing to
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: talk about because I think Bachelor Nation has been eagerly
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: awaiting the day of your wedding. Now ninety people have
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: been invited, and this is where my curiosity spiked. How
• 19:37
  Speaker 3: because I just remember this time when I was getting married.
• 19:41
  Speaker 3: How did you guys decide on ninety people? And how
• 19:45
  Speaker 3: in the world are you telling people or they're not
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: getting the invite, You're not even telling them, they're just
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: not getting invited. How did you kind of filter it down?
• 19:52
  Speaker 5: I actually called people and told them they weren't getting invited.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: Wow, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa Are you serious?
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Thank you for that? See headline.
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: Wait, I think that way we're at your wedding.
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: He had four hundred because he couldn't say no to anyone.
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: I had one eighty.
• 20:11
  Speaker 5: Okay, that's a good in between. That's what our conversation
• 20:14
  Speaker 5: was because I'm from Tulsa and my whole family's from here,
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: and she's got friends here. So it was like, Okay,
• 20:21
  Speaker 5: if we do just all the bros and all of
• 20:25
  Speaker 5: our friends, it's like it's going to be five hundred people,
• 20:30
  Speaker 5: and we'd like to do people that we've actually spent
• 20:33
  Speaker 5: time with in the last both of us in the
• 20:36
  Speaker 5: last three years.
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: So we definitely wanted a smaller wedding. But he's won
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: of ten eleven siblings, so his family alone is already
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: just Busea's no, yeah, yeah. So the smallest that we
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: could get it would be fifty and that would just
• 20:52
  Speaker 4: be family. Of course, we wanted our friends there, so
• 20:54
  Speaker 4: we got it to ninety. So that was the smallest
• 20:57
  Speaker 4: we could keep it while getting everyone that we have
• 21:00
  Speaker 4: a lot of time together and that was the requirement.
• 21:02
  Speaker 4: We said, people can't come to twenty if they haven't
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: met both of us. So we're not doing plus ones.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: We're not inviting that I died because it or you know,
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: anything like that. We're not meeting people for the first
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: time on our wedding.
• 21:13
  Speaker 5: What's that Billie Eilish bad Guys song? That's kind of
• 21:16
  Speaker 5: what it was. It was like, Okay, unless we know him,
• 21:22
  Speaker 5: it's going to be a lot of awkward conversations of
• 21:24
  Speaker 5: me I did. I called some of my friends and
• 21:26
  Speaker 5: basically said, YO, love you. You're not invited, but I
• 21:30
  Speaker 5: love you. Let's hang out soon, which she thought was weird.
• 21:34
  Speaker 5: I thought it was necessary. It's just we made a
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: hard cut off where it's like, Okay, I hope we
• 21:40
  Speaker 5: It's our wedding, so that's all we care about is
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: our wedding. I hope it's not such a big deal
• 21:45
  Speaker 5: that people aren't invited, that we're not friends. That's kind
• 21:48
  Speaker 5: of weird. But it's going to be under one hundred
• 21:50
  Speaker 5: people regardless.
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: But I don't think we know four hundred people, So
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: I don't know how you got four hundred people that.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: He has a lot of connections in life's Fred's quick,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: you know it does.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: Did you talk to everybody at your wedding when there's
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: four hundred people?
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: I did? We did, I think, talk to every single person,
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: which made it absolutely exhausting. I actually find it incredibly
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: admirable of you to call up the people that weren't
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: good bye, thank you.
• 22:19
  Speaker 5: That's what I was hoping they would think.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I think it is great, and I like
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: your rule that is like, if we haven't seen you
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: in three years, you're not obviously invited. And what I
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: did is yeah, we had, of course, like people there
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: that I had never met before from Jared's side, but
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: we were just like, I'm not meeting anyone for the
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: first time, so I'm going to say hi to my people,
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: You're gonna say hi to yours, but I'm not going
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: to like good, I'm not going over to your side.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: Your side, Yeah, because we had that's how we had
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: the room split up, like my friends and family, his
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: friends and family, and it was like, I'm not going
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: to waste time saying hello to people that I've never
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: met or have met like once or twice.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: Why would I waste time talking to people that my
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: husband loves you?
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: Know, like obviously his family and people he cares about,
• 23:02
  Speaker 2: and friends that I have met before and love, but
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: not the right people, like not his cousins that he
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: really doesn't Yeah, actually.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: He just hasn't met. I would have loved us all
• 23:18
  Speaker 5: to have hung out more before, but it's like, okay, yeah, but.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: What about Bachelor Nations. So there are some Bachelor Nation
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: people who made the cut. It was easy for them
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: to meet you in the last three and a half
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: years because some of them are on the same show
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: when you met. So how did you decide from Bachelor
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: Nation who was coming and who wouldn't be.
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: I mean it's kind of the same requirement, which is
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: whoever we have maintained a relationship with post filming. I
• 23:44
  Speaker 4: think we have a lot of friends in bastfor Nation,
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: but I think it's only a smaller group that we've
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: seen consistently outside of.
• 23:52
  Speaker 5: Like with just us, we have some guys from my season, Ivan, DeMar, Blake, Zach.
• 24:02
  Speaker 5: I maintained pretty close with them. Joe's coming because Serena.
• 24:07
  Speaker 5: We like Serena a lot.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Like we don't like Joe though, huh.
• 24:12
  Speaker 5: But he's a good plus one great.
• 24:14
  Speaker 2: Time because I just saw Joe and Serena and they
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: were like, oh, we have Abigail Noah's wedding next and
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: so for you to delay just in naming Joe on
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: your list right there was really that's so good because
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I actually believe that Noah thinks of him as a
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: plus one that he's met before.
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I like that with them, and they do a
• 24:37
  Speaker 5: lot of fun. We we do love them, So it's
• 24:41
  Speaker 5: it's the same criteria Thomas and Becca. We got to
• 24:44
  Speaker 5: spend a lot of time with them when we lived
• 24:45
  Speaker 5: in San Diego, and we're we have like a packed
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: a babysitting packed for when we have kids. So we're excited.
• 24:55
  Speaker 5: We're excited.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: It's uh, it's gonna be a good group. And I
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: always love a little Joe raz because he deserves it
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: and he can handle it, and he handles it very hilariously.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: Now to transition completely to kind of that wedding day, Noah,
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: how much involvement have you had in the planning process
• 25:16
  Speaker 3: before I ask these questions.
• 25:18
  Speaker 5: I'm a smart man and I got a wedding planner
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: in the group chat. I've done all the meetings, but
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: you know, I don't care about the color of the flowers. Yeah,
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: the so for we have a lot of meetings, I'll
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: pop in for the things that I care about, which
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: is music, good food, and I wanted to make sure
• 25:41
  Speaker 5: we had lemon and cucumber water.
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: Let's go. That's nice. I like that of it.
• 25:47
  Speaker 5: Like I chime in on the details, like, oh yeah.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Sounds good. Okay.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Because it was ninety people, were you guys able to
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: put it together relatively quickly? Because I remember Abigail, it
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: was like, I feel like this spring that you said
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: on Instagram that you were like, oh, we don't have
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: a date. We haven't really started planning. Then all of
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: a sudden, you gotta yeah.
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: So we actually didn't start planning, I want to say
• 26:08
  Speaker 4: until spring. It was one of those things we got
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: engaged and then we started working on our house, and
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: so we just kind of kept putting it off because
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: the home projects and everything. We said, when the house
• 26:17
  Speaker 4: is done, we'll get married, and then spring rolled around
• 26:20
  Speaker 4: we were like, okay, this house is no, we're close
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: to being done. Done, the house will never be done. Okay,
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: let's play on the wedding. Let's take a break. And
• 26:28
  Speaker 4: with ninety people, it was easier just because we are
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: communic communicating with those people a lot more than I think,
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: like it extended guest list, so I think just figuring
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: out who can come, who can getting them in Oklahoma too,
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: I feel like it's easier than like California, Like vendors
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: aren't booked crazy far in the bands, Like there's just
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: a lot more but it's not as competitive, I guess.
• 26:53
  Speaker 4: So we were able to book everything that we wanted
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: and then also just having a really good wedding planner
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: definitely helped us.
• 27:00
  Speaker 5: There's a common theme that I'm learning with us is
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: things don't go, but when they go, they go fast.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's how you guys operate.
• 27:10
  Speaker 4: Apparently, Yeah twenty was quit, but it was a lot.
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: So that's why we're just so ready for the wedding
• 27:17
  Speaker 4: to be here. And like we are just not planners.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: We don't enjoy planning, so it's definitely been outside of
• 27:24
  Speaker 4: our comfort zone planning a wedding, but we're very excited
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: for it.
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: But just yeah, soak up the day. I can't say
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: I was like absolutely ecstatic for the wedding day because
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: I was more anxious about the event, but it was
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: It will go down as one of the most fun
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: days I've ever had, and so make it fun. It's
• 27:43
  Speaker 3: kind of a night that you don't get judged because
• 27:47
  Speaker 3: it's your day. You can do whatever you want, and
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: so we just went all out. It was great. I
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: hope this wedding is something that you two look back
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: on with a big old smile. But obviously you guys
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: are already smiling because your relationships in such a good place.
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: So I hope to not ruin anything in your relationship
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: with this question, but I want to shoot it to
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: Abigail first. Abigail, you heard or you knew that Noah's
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: brother was going to be going on the Bachelorette this year.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: You know his brother obviously fairly well, there's a lot
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: of them. I don't know how you know them all.
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: Were you confident that he was going to show up
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: and show out well or were you nervous about how
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: he was going to be on the show, knowing him
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: before the show started, trying.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: To start some family job right before no.
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: I said, I have no interest in that, but if
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: you do, that's good for our podcast, so I don't
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: mind it either.
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So with Aaron, when he said he was going
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: on the show, I was really excited for him, and
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: I thought he would do really well on it. Jess.
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: I think he's a good looking guy, He's very charismatic,
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: and I think he, out of the three of us,
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: I think is the most open in terms of having
• 29:01
  Speaker 4: kind of those deep conversations, like moving quickly doesn't scare him.
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: I think just some of the elements of the show
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: I think can be off putting for people, like being
• 29:10
  Speaker 4: proposed that proposing at the end the timeline everything, I
• 29:14
  Speaker 4: was like, no, I think he can handle all of
• 29:17
  Speaker 4: that and handle it really well. Watching it back, I
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: think there were things that we didn't really expect from him.
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: He was pretty tight lift when he came home, and
• 29:28
  Speaker 4: so I was thinking, you know, he probably just had
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: an average experience, maybe just didn't hit it off with
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: her super well. And then watching it back and seeing
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: his storyline and everything, I was not expecting it. I
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: was not expecting it. But I think he ended up
• 29:45
  Speaker 4: being right at the end of the day. But I
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: think to this day, we still don't really know what
• 29:51
  Speaker 4: Devin did in the house that trying to all the
• 29:54
  Speaker 4: guys off from him. We still don't know that, But
• 29:57
  Speaker 4: he ended up being right. So I us he knew.
• 30:01
  Speaker 5: Something that we thought.
• 30:04
  Speaker 3: That's interesting that you say that. I haven't thought of
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: it that way. Revisionist history is interesting when at the
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: time we're like, hey, he's just being a jerk to Devon,
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: and then the show gets done, we see the behaviors
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: of Devon here as of recent and we go, well,
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: maybe he was trying to tell us something, or maybe
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: he was pointing at something that we just didn't know
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: at the time as viewers.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: He definitely got vibes. He was probably pretty intuitive about him.
• 30:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's interesting that people are going, hey, maybe
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: we should reconsider it.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: Aaron is though he is. He's out there saying I'm right,
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: I'm right.
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, So he's out there saying he's right. He's
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: validating himself. Does he feel validated at this point, Like,
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: does it feel like he is being validated or is
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: it kind of now just lost cause.
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: I think he definitely feels very validated. I think it's
• 30:57
  Speaker 4: what those things like we were talking about. He probably
• 30:59
  Speaker 4: wishes he got that validation when the show was aired
• 31:02
  Speaker 4: or when he was on the show. And you know,
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: Devin does something to piss Jhen off and she sends
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: him home but I think he's happy that he's validated,
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: but I don't think he's happy at how it ultimately
• 31:14
  Speaker 4: went down. I mean, just the stuff that Devin did
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: post show and the things that have come out about him.
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: I just think that's a whole nother ballpark, and I'm
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: not rooting for that. He's not saying yes, like did
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: all that, like I win kind of thing. I think
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: it's more just I knew something was off about that guy,
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: and I feel very validated knowing that it was that off,
• 31:35
  Speaker 4: if that makes sense.
• 31:37
  Speaker 5: I had a little bit of the same because I
• 31:40
  Speaker 5: did not have any love, no love for Noah for
• 31:44
  Speaker 5: the first week or two when it started airing for Noah,
• 31:48
  Speaker 5: Noah me for you.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you mean on your Bachelorette season when I was on.
• 31:54
  Speaker 5: And then mine, I had the privilege for it to
• 31:58
  Speaker 5: turn mid season and then like, oh okay, this whole
• 32:03
  Speaker 5: no eventit thing, here's what we're seeing. So I actually
• 32:06
  Speaker 5: mine was a different situation, whereas Eron's it's like now
• 32:10
  Speaker 5: the show's done and now he's trying to focus on,
• 32:13
  Speaker 5: you know, the military and everything, to where it's like
• 32:15
  Speaker 5: it's after the fact. It would have been great then
• 32:19
  Speaker 5: or to use then, you know, or anything like that
• 32:22
  Speaker 5: to maybe get him out and get more time with
• 32:25
  Speaker 5: Jen sort of thing. And it was after the fact,
• 32:26
  Speaker 5: so now it's like he's definitely feeling vindicated for it,
• 32:30
  Speaker 5: but it only stirs up more because Jen's ended up
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: being the most hurt from it because Devin ended up being,
• 32:39
  Speaker 5: you know, completely different than she thought. But it would
• 32:42
  Speaker 5: have been nice, I think he thought to have during
• 32:44
  Speaker 5: the show, but he's not mad after the fact.
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: So on your season, they they had you. I'm just
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: going to say, maybe the producers lightly suggested that you
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: should hand Bennett a book or was it No, it
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: was Bennett handed you a book. Yeah, Bennett handed you
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: a book about emotional intelligence? Was that correct? And then
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: because that was like his thing, he was so intelligent.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: And then on this season we know that it was
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: a producer move that they had Aaron give Devin a
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: book because we know the book was actually fake, Like
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: they literally had him give a fake book because the
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: sluice out there.
• 33:38
  Speaker 5: We got to the bottom of it.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: We did, because there's bachelor sluice that said that this
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: book didn't exist. Okay, tell us everything.
• 33:45
  Speaker 5: The Four Pillars book self help book, MS sorry, four Agreements.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: Oh, I know the Four Agreements.
• 33:51
  Speaker 5: Yeah, that's what it was.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: So it's part of that book or is that book
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: different if they put a different cover on it because
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: they didn't. Ah, still, well, thanks for bringing light to
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: the situation.
• 34:06
  Speaker 3: That makes sense.
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: We brought light so trying to get DEVI in the
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: Four Agreements.
• 34:14
  Speaker 3: And they don't have the rights to it. Just like
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: a painting, they have to cover up on the show.
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: They can't get the rights, it's too expensive, and so
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: they covered up and do it that way. Yeah, that
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: makes sense.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, So was there a conversation was like, oh,
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: your brother had this book handed to him, now, like
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: you should hand it over.
• 34:31
  Speaker 5: To somebody else. I think Aaron and I are similar
• 34:35
  Speaker 5: to where when I was on I was like, Okay,
• 34:37
  Speaker 5: I'm not going to go look for trouble, but I'm
• 34:41
  Speaker 5: sure as heck not going to back down if it
• 34:43
  Speaker 5: comes my way.
• 34:44
  Speaker 2: Okay, so that's me.
• 34:45
  Speaker 5: Yeah, And so for me, I was going to go
• 34:47
  Speaker 5: out of my way to give something to Bennett. But
• 34:49
  Speaker 5: if Bennett felt the nerve to do something, then sure.
• 34:53
  Speaker 5: I think it was a similar situation to where Aaron
• 34:57
  Speaker 5: he's not gonna not do something if somebody to him sideways.
• 35:00
  Speaker 5: I think I know him pretty well enough to where
• 35:03
  Speaker 5: it's the perfect candidate for that to happen.
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: But I really don't think he was put it two
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: and tune together that Noah had given a book until
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: after that and then watching it play out that way.
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: Oh, the producers are sitting there being like yes, yes.
• 35:21
  Speaker 5: In the moment, he's more like, all right, how do
• 35:24
  Speaker 5: I like? I don't want to look like a dick here,
• 35:26
  Speaker 5: but this guy's interrupting, you know, with ice cream, And
• 35:30
  Speaker 5: then it was like, okay, what do I do? Then
• 35:32
  Speaker 5: you hear people like dude, he has no awareness, give
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: him a book. And he's like, dude, give him a book.
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 35:41
  Speaker 5: I really don't think he was thinking, ooh, play on,
• 35:44
  Speaker 5: this is going to be a nice thing.
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so he wasn't aware.
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: I to be.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't remember. I didn't remember that scene of you
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: guys until it was brought to my attention that a
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: similar thing had happened with you.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: Ben.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: Did remember you remembered right off the bat.
• 35:57
  Speaker 3: I think I told you you did. I was like, wow,
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: that's some impressive.
• 36:01
  Speaker 5: That was a bizarre situation. If you put yourself in
• 36:05
  Speaker 5: that situation. That's a bizarre situation.
• 36:07
  Speaker 3: It's a very weird situation. Speaking of weird situations, is
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: Bennett invited to the wedding?
• 36:15
  Speaker 5: I have no hate for Bennett because I see, I
• 36:19
  Speaker 5: see Senor Bennet has a baby now, so I still
• 36:23
  Speaker 5: he's still chirps. Also get comments and I'll chur back,
• 36:26
  Speaker 5: but I have no hate for you.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, Well, your brother is just a prime candidate
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: for Paradise and it's coming back, So what's the encouragement
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: level there? And like how would you prep them?
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: So the timing would have to be really like just
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: perfect because he is doing his military stuff and it's
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: around the time of Paradise. If he gets the opportunity,
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: I am team Aaron going on Paradise. I think he
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: can handle all the elements of Paradise feeling, and I
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: think he really wants to meet his person and it
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: works for us. So I'm definitely team do Paradise. If
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: the opportunity works out.
• 37:09
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'd say fly at sixteen's go to Paradise. If
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: it was held up next to each other, he should
• 37:16
  Speaker 5: fly up sixteens because also, you left the show because
• 37:20
  Speaker 5: he said that, So it's like, yeah, stick with that.
• 37:23
  Speaker 5: But if the timing was nice, I would love to
• 37:25
  Speaker 5: see a similar I liked Paradise because you can be
• 37:29
  Speaker 5: your own villain if you want. You can choose one
• 37:34
  Speaker 5: girl to kick it off, and if you say you're
• 37:36
  Speaker 5: gonna stay with her, stay with her and bounce around.
• 37:39
  Speaker 5: But you can kind of make what you want. There's
• 37:42
  Speaker 5: more options, there's more guys and stuff like that. So
• 37:45
  Speaker 5: I think if the timing was nice, I would love
• 37:48
  Speaker 5: to see Aaron go on Paradise because he I think
• 37:50
  Speaker 5: he would have a lot of fun and I think
• 37:52
  Speaker 5: he would get a different you'd get a different view
• 37:54
  Speaker 5: of him which is way less serious and way less
• 37:57
  Speaker 5: book givy Baby shredded. So it's like, okay, yeah he should.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: He should go on the beach. Anybody has a six pack?
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: I always just say go on the beach, Like if
• 38:08
  Speaker 3: anything else, just take get your moment. Yeah, yeah, get
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: your moment.
• 38:12
  Speaker 4: Take it.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: Uh, speaking of books, doesn't have a six pack?
• 38:16
  Speaker 5: We we do have a six pack.
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: What we do have just a few minutes here with
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: you to turn them back around. Abigail. Why we're here
• 38:26
  Speaker 3: and what we started with is your book that's out now,
• 38:29
  Speaker 3: The Deaf Girl. Uh, first question, where can people find it?
• 38:32
  Speaker 4: You can find The Duck Girl on Amazon, Barnes and Noble,
• 38:35
  Speaker 4: and Target. And I also did the audio book as well,
• 38:38
  Speaker 4: and that's on Audible.
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: The hardest thing I've ever done was the audible book.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: Reading it was awful. It took me so long. It
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: was so frustrating. I don't know if you had that experience.
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: It was harder than writing the book. For those like
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: week the week that I recorded.
• 38:53
  Speaker 5: You should try it death.
• 38:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that would add an element.
• 38:57
  Speaker 4: It felt like Feasterpy all over again because I do
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: struggle to say certain words correctly, and there were a
• 39:04
  Speaker 4: lot of those words and so he there's a lot
• 39:06
  Speaker 4: of retakes.
• 39:07
  Speaker 5: You should touch on. One of the things they kept
• 39:10
  Speaker 5: in the audio book is some of the incorrect words
• 39:15
  Speaker 5: or flow. That's not what you would expect from perfect
• 39:17
  Speaker 5: audiobook because that is sort of how it is.
• 39:21
  Speaker 4: We're just understanding. I think they were like, Okay, you're
• 39:23
  Speaker 4: a death, We're not going to be super critical about it.
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: So it's imperfect authentic.
• 39:28
  Speaker 5: I like that authentic, better authentic.
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: Genuine and authentic. Final question for you before I threw
• 39:34
  Speaker 3: it back to Ashley Abigail. When somebody reads the book,
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: they closed the book, what do you hope they get
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: out of the book?
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: I just the biggest thing I wanted is just to
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: provide comfort and just feeling like you're not alone in this,
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: because I think when you kind of read my mom's perspective,
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: she fell very alone at the time. It was such
• 39:55
  Speaker 4: a new thing. She didn't know anybody would call her implants,
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: so she didn't really know where to start. And then
• 40:00
  Speaker 4: kind of my perspective is trying to navigate, you know,
• 40:04
  Speaker 4: all their situations in middle school, high school, college to
• 40:07
  Speaker 4: show and just feeling like the only person in the
• 40:09
  Speaker 4: world that knows what I'm going through is my sister
• 40:11
  Speaker 4: because she also has a hearing loss, and so I
• 40:13
  Speaker 4: think just trying to whoever picks up the book if
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: they're in a similar situation. Just knowing that there are
• 40:19
  Speaker 4: people out there, you know, like me, like other people
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: that have a very shared experience. And that was something
• 40:26
  Speaker 4: that I'm really appreciated on the book tour, was just
• 40:29
  Speaker 4: seeing all the people that have culplar implants and it
• 40:32
  Speaker 4: just is like an unspoken language that connect us, like
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: we could just talk for hours about all of our
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: shared experiences, and I kind of forgot how comforting that feels,
• 40:42
  Speaker 4: just to know that somebody out there knows exactly what
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: it feels like when you were so tired of listening
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: at the end of the day, or how embarrassing it
• 40:49
  Speaker 4: is when your battery dies. You know, it just seems
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: like that. So that's kind of the biggest thing that
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: I want it with the book is just for people
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: to feel like, you know, you have somebody going through
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: the exact same thing.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: Well, speaking of shared experiences, do you have a friendship
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: with Daisy?
• 41:03
  Speaker 5: Now?
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: We're acquaintances. I know we've connected on social media. I've
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: not actually gotten a chance to meet her in person,
• 41:12
  Speaker 4: but that was one thing I also really appreciated about
• 41:14
  Speaker 4: Daisy sharing her story. And something I always tried to
• 41:16
  Speaker 4: emphasize with hearing loss is it really is a spectrum
• 41:20
  Speaker 4: at the end of the day. Everyone's experience is just
• 41:22
  Speaker 4: so different with it. And I know she has a
• 41:25
  Speaker 4: cool firm plan as well, but she has a very
• 41:27
  Speaker 4: different experience. She lost her hearing later in life and
• 41:31
  Speaker 4: had to figure out well. I thought it was just
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: another really cool reminder of you know, you have two
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: people maybe try to label the same, but her story
• 41:43
  Speaker 4: is also really fascinating. But no I have not gotten
• 41:46
  Speaker 4: a chance to meet her in person yet.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: All right, guys, well, thank you so much for giving
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: us your time, especially at such a busy point of
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: your life. We really appreciate it and just wants you
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: need the best wedding day of all time.
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: Thank you, thanks for having us.
• 42:02
  Speaker 5: Appreciate you guys, last long and Abby, Ben, thank you
• 42:05
  Speaker 5: for getting my name right this time?
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: What I do last time?
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: What did you do last time?
• 42:10
  Speaker 3: You did an.
• 42:11
  Speaker 5: Interview with Nate Michelle right before.
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: That makes sense and that left a bad taste in
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: your mouth. Noah, I'm sorry. I apologize and.
• 42:22
  Speaker 4: To bring it up.
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: This is the new start to something special, Noah, Abigail again.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: You can get The Deaf Girl pretty much wherever you
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: can get books, but Barnes and Noble you said Amazon
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: and the third one you said, target the Deaf Girls out.
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: Now make sure you go check it out. Appreciate you both,
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: Thanks for coming on.
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: Thanks guys, Hie.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast on
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.