Latest / Adult Child of Dysfunction / E 347: What If Your Biggest Setback Was Actually Your Greatest Gift? Guest Isabel Chiara

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E 347: What If Your Biggest Setback Was Actually Your Greatest Gift? Guest Isabel Chiara · Adult Child of Dysfunction

• 0:00
  Okay.
• 0:01
  Hello everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.
• 0:05
  Today, we have with us a returning guest, Isabelle Chiara.
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  She is the creator of the Life Actualization process.
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  She has been a guide, mentor, and leader throughout her entire life.
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  Over the last 30 years, she has honed her expertise in extensive studies and practices of transformational energy modalities.
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  As a professional intuitive guide, Isabelle activates unlimited potential for her clients, helping them to ignite their most liberated, passionate, and empowered life path, full of prosperity, miracles, and magic.
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  Welcome back, Isabelle.
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  Thank you, Tammy, for having me.
• 0:41
  It's always- Yeah fun and interesting- Oh, sorry to be on your show.
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  Yeah.
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  It was I was looking back before we got on here, 'cause I was like, "How long ago was it that you were on?"
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  And it was- episode, for those of you that are just listening, it was episode 150, so it's been a while.
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  So tell us what you've been doing since whenever that was- Well- a year or so ago last time I was on, I just came up with a Nourish app.
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  And it, let's say it's, the Nourish app was 12 activations that help people process through a lot of their childhood traumas and...
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  But it's actually very healing.
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  It's very healing big healing modality, so you don't really need a person to guide you or process you, because my voice and the activation does that.
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  But now I just came up with a book, and that's called Nourish.
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  I'll just show it to you.
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  And it's really living beyond food, like the food frenzy, and feeding a path of personal power and joy.
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  So actually coming from whatever things in your life that were, triggers, whatever in your life that's going on,- it's like a way to move past and be on this path of nourishment where we're looking at ourselves and shifting
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  out worn behaviors from the inside out.
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  Yeah, I remember talking about you the first time because you were like, you can't look at nourishment as just food.
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  It's everything that you do for- and into your body."
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  So after this entire, after this year, 'cause don't forget, I'm also living this path w- what happens is your consciousness expands, your relationships shift.
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  Oh, so many things in your life, it's kinda like you're walking...
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  I like to say I'm walking like a magical path, but it's the path of nourishment because it's so awesome now.
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  It's not all the conversations we used to have with ourselves of, ch- you're doing this wrong, this isn't right, black, very black-and-white life.
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  It's really a anything kinda goes life, but we're kinda putting it into a little bubble of what this is nourishing.
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  We can look at things like it's really helping us to get to the next step.
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  It's a n- a new appreciation of everything that's happened in our life.
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  There's things that happen in our life that just aren't the greatest, but I'll always like to think that it's taken us to a whole nother state of being, state of consciousness for our own minds and body, souls, and
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  spirit that we are able to transcend that, unless we wanna stay stuck in that, right?
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  So we have a choice.
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  How are we gonna do...
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  What are we gonna do with that?
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  And can I just...
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  I just wanna say this one thing, 'cause I like this technique that I always bring forward.
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  I always say I don't know the rest of the story."
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  What if this thing happened, like we got fired from a job?
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  How many people got, have gotten laid off and fired lately, from their jobs?
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  And we don't know the rest of the story.
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  It could be the greatest story ever told for our lives because even though we thought it was safe, right?
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  Being in a position or someplace for a long time is a safety thing also, right?
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  What if...
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  Of course it's scary.
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  We don't wanna deny how we feel.
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  But what if that became this whole opening to a whole new life, all these new relationships and that's what it brought us?
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  So if we put that context into these things that happen, we are kinda moving forward in a like a magical...
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  It's more magical because you're not stuck in the, "Oh my God, they did that to me.
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  I can't believe it."
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  I had a gentleman come on and he talked about terrible gifts.
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  And that's what I think of when I think of this.
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  Yeah.
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  And even if you don't see...
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  He said sometimes it could be months or years later when something bad happens, like the job loss.
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  You have to assume and you have to hope and have faith in the fact that there's a gift in it somewhere.
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  And you might not see it for a week or a month or a year- but it's these terrible gifts.
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  So yeah, it's perspective.
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  Yeah.
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  It's just you...
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  And it's staying in the present, and it's looking at the present with a positive mind ver- but not...
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  Obviously, we don't wanna talk about that toxic positivity of everything's great.
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  You still have to- or a nourishing mindset.
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  Yeah.
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  So what would be a step, whether it's with the app or with the book or how, that you would help people?
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  Let's say they walk into work today and they get laid off.
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  What is your first step, how do you start approaching that?
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  I always look at what this possibly mean to you?
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  In a bigger, not in a mi- minutiae state "Oh, I got fired today," right?
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  In a huge, bigger sense, what are all the possibilities that come from this situation that you are now finding yourself in?
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  'Cause I also don't believe things just happen, right?
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  I think also things happen for us, right?
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  I think life turns around and revolves, and it's happening for us, but we can't see it.
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  And we're always on that path of nourishment.
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  We're always on that path of...
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  Unless you hold as a peripheral vision for yourself that my life is, not good, I'm always on this always happens to me.
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  If we hold that kind of dynamic, I call that o- that also another way to be.
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  We're being in the, this isn't working out for me.
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  It's like an energy thing that you're, like, throwing on your life.
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  It's how you hold your life.
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  So you could hold your life on one hand "Oh my God, magical."
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  So everything will be nourishing, u- uplifting.
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  It's, this can't have happened unless...
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  If I may, if you're in this state, this couldn't have happened for not a huger, grander vision, blueprint for your life.
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  So that's how the first step to hold that.
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  And then of course there's all the emotional feelings that we have, but those are the feelings that we have that we've been carrying that will happen in, for us in any situation, like rejection why me?
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  All of these feelings will take us down, will take us down if we don't give ourself this other- perspective of- how we can look at our lives as we're on this path.
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  Oh my God, it's great.
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  I don't know why this happened to me, but let me just move on and let me see what opportunities are there.
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  So then you go out in the world and you start to say, I would, actually say, "Go out today."
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  No perspective.
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  Every time you start to think about these other feelings you have, like feelings of rejection or why me or any of these other feelings, I would Ask them to say, "Okay, I got it, and how about if we
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  think of it as a gift?"
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  Or, "I got it.
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  What if this is the most joyful experience?"
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  So we begin to start to transform our mind chatter, our mind conversation.
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  And we start to move, past that, or what if these things that are blocking us in our lives too are things for us to move in another direction?
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  What if we are greeted with the same person every day that's bringing us down or saying, criticizing us?
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  And we get to we get to check in with ourselves and say, "Okay, how much more of this is possible?
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  What am I gonna do?"
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  How much more am I gonna do?
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  I'm gonna give myself another day, or I'll give myself another two days, and then I'm gonna take a nourishing step for myself, and I'm gonna love myself even more, and allow myself to be somewhere else where there's people
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  that are loving to me or s- tell me great things about me.
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  And then we get to start to include that in our own conversations of ourselves.
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  Because the thing is, what shows up outside of us is just a mirror of how we're feeling inside of ourselves.
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  Absolutely.
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  Yeah.
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  Repeat that again for people.
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  No.
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  Because that is a very important point.
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  Yeah.
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  If we're met with a lot of criticism on the outside from people, and it doesn't feel good,...
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  It doesn't feel good from the inside, because- we're doing it to ourselves, and the world's a mirror, so they're...
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  I wanna...
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  I don't wanna keep saying they're a gift, but they're just the, like a tool.
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  It's like they're not even there.
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  They're just you doing you from the outside in.
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  Really.
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  Y- we get to look at other people.
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  I never even thought of it like this.
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  They're really you saying, "Okay, you suck," and this is what we're doing.
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  Or, you're not good at that," or every single thing that we are sa- that we feel, we're saying to ourselves on a daily basis.
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  It's just not conscious.
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  So the path of nourishment in this book is what I use a lot of examples to try to fill in all of that to begin to think of it different.
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  And what happens is we start to neutralize all of those feelings for ourselves, and we start to go on this other tangent in our life of, "Wow, today was joyful."
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  I started playing these games with myself where I started saying, "All right, how long-" of this day, like what percentage of this day can I feel joyful?
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  'Cause if we're on this path that's not a, we don't feel joy- joyful, a lot, if we're on this path, it's like maybe it's happening sometimes.
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  You get a few little glimpses of it, but can we stay on that for 50% of our day?
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  Can we stay that, so I think that just the m- I like to say the mantra of nourishment says, "Oh, this is part of the path, and I'm becoming conscious of this behavior of mine, of this, the words
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  I'm saying, the play on words for myself, and okay, let me see how much joy I can have," and y- Yeah you mentioned it earlier in the conversation when you were talking about energy, and I think energy is
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  100% of it.
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  You wake up in the morning and you, there's different frequencies of different feelings and everything else, and it's if you- focus on the positive energy frequencies, the high-frequency energies like joy and gratitude and abundance, and you focus on
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  that, then it negates the negative frequency.
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  And but you're, when you talk about m- life being a mirror, whatever you're projecting into the world is what you're gonna get back.
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  Because that's what's attracting to you.
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  So it, I look at when I first talked to you about this nourishment thing, that's k- how I looked at it.
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  Like, how can you water every situation so that it grows into something positive?
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  Every- and when I...
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  That's kinda how I interpreted the whole nourishment thing, and it wasn't just about food, for sure.
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  It was about just upping that, that frequency and keeping it high and making the conscious decision because- you can...
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  some of, a lot of the examples you already used before, it's like you can either be a victim or you can be a victor.
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  And those are conscious decisions every single day.
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  I don't even wanna say victim or victor.
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  I don't even wanna say that because then you start putting things into that category.
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  "Wait, am I a victim here?
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  Am I a victor here?"
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  I like to say, "Okay, we're on this.
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  Okay, what am I saying to my..."
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  Like we're going right into the, "What am I saying to myself here?"
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  'Cause we- because how many of us wake up...
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  There's so many people that wake up in the morning, they didn't even realize this, and they are like, "I woke up in a bad mood."
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  What?
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  H- we can decide how we're gonna wake up.
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  If we tell our...
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  'Cause our mind is really lis- our mind listens to us.
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  So our mind is giving us back what we, if you think about it what we say.
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  So if we say, "Hey I'm gonna...
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  I wake up in a bad mood every day," we're waking up in a bad mood.
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  There's no other way that you're gonna, 'cause you're doing what you tell yourself you're doing.
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  Yeah.
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  You just said, "I wake up in a bad mood," which is giving you more experiences- to prove- yourself yeah.
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  So it's the sa- so it's the same thing when we're trying to change a habit, right?
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  We get, if we s- are trying to change a habit and we start to focus on what we always do- Then we are going to keep cr- 'cause our mind is vis- you know, our mind is visual or
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  it hears things, and it starts to give us back, that thing we do.
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  If we're drinking or if we're...
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  I'm trying to stop drinking, or I'm trying to stop eating, or I'm trying to stop, going out till 3:00 o'clock in the morning, whatever it is, but we're trying to stop it, so we're really focusing our mind on
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  that behavior.
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  So I like to write out a blueprint, like a story.
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  I start to create a story of what it is I'm trying...
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  what I'm trying to create.
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  Especially- Okay around food.
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  I like to create a visual of how I feel and the plate, what the plate looks like, and that.
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  But the other part is there's an emotional resonance with that kind of visual, where we feel, wow, yeah, that's it.
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  That's gonna work.
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  We need our...
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  We almost need our body to...
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  Have you ever heard of this, where your body gives you a yes?
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  Oh, yeah.
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  I do muscle testing with everybody.
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  Yeah.
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  I do.
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  So your body...
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  Yeah?
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  Yeah.
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  I always- Because your body has to be on board with it.
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  So you find the little things.
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  And maybe it's not the big thing at the end of the storyline.
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  Maybe it's just a little incremental, "Oh, you know what?
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  For breakfast, I'm gonna have, fruit and I'm gonna love it.
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  It's gonna be great, and it's gonna be..."
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  And then that becomes your habit, and that becomes what you do, and then you can move on to other behaviors that- You know, that, that feel great to you because you, your body's "Okay, yeah, we feel good now.
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  We're in alignment."
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  Yeah, I ask...
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  I tell people that every day.
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  When you wake up, do a body scan.
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  First, I have a ritual.
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  Yeah.
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  Being g- grateful for five things, and I tell people, "Don't be grateful," like you said, your mind can trick your mind kind of thing.
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  Don't be grace- don't be grateful and just say it.
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  Feel it in your body.
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  Feel it, because if you don't have that mind-body connection, it's- it's...
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  all the people that I work with, I don't know exactly, I don't know exactly your target audience or exactly who's getting your book- per se, but all the people that I work with and, my clients and the people
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  that usually come into my world through this podcast and stuff, th- the end of the day, their bodies don't feel safe.
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  It's their body.
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  It's their- For sure.
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  You can trick your mind.
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  If...
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  Your mind is easy to trick.
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  Your body is not.
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  For sure.
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  But I'm glad you said that like that, because it's so tr- it's so true.
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  That's why I'm saying we have to get an agreement.
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  Our body- has to be on board with that and feel safe.
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  Yeah.
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  'Cause we don't...
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  I think a lot of people don't think about safety, when we're going out.
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  How many people don't like to walk in a room with a lot of people?
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  Because- it feels s- doesn't feel safe to them or they have a visual of "Oh, they're gonna look at me.
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  They're gonna judge me.
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  They're gonna..."
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  So all of that allows, keeps us from doing that kind of, or feeling- Yeah terrible about doing something like that, yeah.
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  I like to call it increasing your container, because- let's just say you are scared to walk in a room.
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  So what if you walk in a room with, has two people that love you?
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  And you're...
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  And that becomes your thing for a while, and you start to see yourself walking into a room like that.
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  And then you start to increase it.
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  Maybe you're going into a business meeting or a, another meeting with some friends, and there's three friends, and they're like, "Hey."
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  And then you see them saying, "Hey, oh my God, we missed you," and you start to create this other story, because there's nothing wrong with storytelling for yourself either, because it becomes your reality, like the same mirror that
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  we were talking about before.
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  Yeah.
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  It's a great mirror for us to just increase our capacity.
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  Yeah.
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  And the nourishment part of it just makes sense, because you're just training your brain and rewiring your brain to look at the things that are going to be good- for you in the long run.
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  So a good example is, like you said, you walk into a room.
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  I know people that walk into a room, if someone raises an eyebrow, they start that immediate spiral of, "Oh my God, they don't like me."
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  "They don't like what I'm wearing.
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  They...
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  I'm not good enough.
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  I can't..."
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  Ba.
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  And the next thing they're, like, backing out of the room.
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  Literally that extreme- from an eyebrow raise.
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  And I, I do...
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  I've done many years of NLP practi- being an NLP practitioner, and it's, hey, maybe that eyebrow just...
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  Make a new story up.
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  You literally just created nine steps of a story before you even had time to back out of the room.
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  Make it a good story.
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  That's what you...
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  I feel like that's what you're saying.
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  If you're going to- Exactly create these stories, make it a good one.
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  It's like people that don't remember their childhood, and then someone asks them when you were four," and all of a sudden you start making this, ruminating this story based on your experiences- in the past.
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  But it's make it a good one.
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  So yeah, you- that's, that's- the visualization, and that's- reframing, and that's beautiful for people.
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  I love it.
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  Yeah.
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  That's what I like to do with my, in my Nourish app, when I say I have these 12 activations that are guided meditations.
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  One of my activations called Setting The Table.
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  How many...
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  feel like that's at the dinner table when we were children is where everything started with, just food or everything, the people that have done that particular activation have transformed the way the interaction happened between mother, fa- mother and
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  the child, father and the child, sister, and the whole table dynamic.
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  After doing it a couple of times, these activations shifted the relationship in their head, in their mind, how they saw the relationship, and it created a whole now sense of wellbeing at the dinner table, because we brought that
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  whole table into relationships with our other new family or other people.
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  So it's very healing when we start to look at it and start to shift the perspective that happened 30 years ago or 40 years ago, which I'm sure a lot of the work you probably do also.
• 19:58
  Oh, yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  I'm picturing the dinner tables of the people- Because if you have that foundat- right?
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  What?
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  I said I'm picturing the dinner tables of the people that I dealt with, and they're...
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  that's a whole...
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  They would be stuck on that one activation for years.
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  So is it guided meditations then through the app?
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  In the app, like- Like that activation?
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  Yeah, they're guided meditations, but they're very specific for, They're very specific, like setting the table, rela- for relationships relationship with yourself, and it goes very, to very specific parts of your life probably the beginning of time, with your
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  life and how you created...
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  And we have to look at that.
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  You know why?
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  'Cause we're creating a foundation of how we're seeing things, and we're just building on it and we're reinforcing it with all our beliefs.
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  Oh, this is what happens.
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  So how do you move out of something?
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  If you s- if you, if our mind's saying, "Okay, this is what happens," how do we move out of that and s- create something else?
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  We can't, because the foundation's so strong and, oh, I know this is what's gonna happen to me every time I walk in a room, or it's gonna happen to me every time I sit at a dinner table with
• 21:06
  so and so and but, Yeah, it's funny that you brought that one up, because that was, that would probably be my hardest one, literally, because I d- it took me years.
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  It took me till I had two kids and my second husband before we sat down at a dinner table with the kids, because that was the most uncomfortable thing I could ever do, literally.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  Because, so I was like, that's why it's funny you mentioned that one.
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  I'm like, "I'll have to check that out and see, just to see that one," would be worth it for me.
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  I challenge you to listen to that one.
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  Yeah.
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  I mean- 'Cause you can use it, you can use it with everybody else- Yeah that you work with.
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  That would be If someone saw that shift in their life, that'd be a game changer.
• 21:48
  Yeah.
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  Yeah, because for years- I- my second husband, he was the, he's the cook in the family, and he was the one that w- five plates on the gr- table.
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  We all talked about our day and everything else, and I was like, for a long time I was like, "This does not feel good.
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  Something's gonna go down."
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  Something's gonna happen.
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  'Cause I was waiting.
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  I was in that, that childhood family that didn't eat dinner together because it ended up with a drunken fight every night, wow.
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  It's crazy.
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  That's intense.
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  Yeah.
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  That's intense.
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  Yeah.
• 22:17
  Yeah.
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  What if...
• 22:19
  Yeah, what if that, that got healed, I have another activation called healing family dynamics, that looks at how we reacted in these situations with our family also.
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  A lot of these go hand in hand, a lot of my activations.
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  And I think- So are the acti- Yeah?
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  I'm sorry.
• 22:41
  Are the activations pretty trauma informed, come from a place of trauma, or do they just come from your basic normal life?
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  I guess you could say.
• 22:55
  You're so funny.
• 22:56
  Of course they had to have some basis, I don't think that- anybody doesn't have anything, when it comes to- like, how were you at the table or what relationships didn't work in your family or, I think- I think
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  everything that always happened in my life was...
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  And then I'm not saying it was something for me to really look at, right?
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  Really look at, like, how it built me, how it built me, how it, t- it's really how it transformed me, because I could have chosen to be not happy and still hold onto it and, how long do we
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  have to?
• 23:36
  How long do we have to hold on to that?
• 23:38
  Is that what you were trying to...
• 23:40
  Of course there is a basis of it, because, I really, I came from a family, we were in the restaurant business, and it's that there's no, there wasn't, we were busy.
• 23:52
  You know what I mean?
• 23:53
  We grew up a working family.
• 23:54
  We were busy.
• 23:54
  We didn't sit how do you feel?"
• 23:57
  At the end of the day "How do you feel?"
• 23:59
  And I was, like, really, I didn't realize this about myself till I got into my 30s, or f- actually 40s, but I was really sensitive, and I disregarded my sensitivity as a child and said, and I would use
• 24:14
  words with myself like, "You know what?
• 24:16
  Just get over it."
• 24:17
  And that's was my big mantra to myself: "Get over it.
• 24:21
  Just get over it.
• 24:21
  Who cares?"
• 24:22
  "Who cares if nobody cares how you feel," or, who cares about your feelings?"
• 24:26
  So I actually used that to- eliminate my feelings, of course.
• 24:32
  And just plow ahead and, I use that as a moti- for me, it was like a motivational thing to "All right, I'm gonna do this.
• 24:38
  I'll just, I'm gonna move forward, I move forward."
• 24:40
  But then I made myself so busy with myself and my life that I never thought about how I feel.
• 24:46
  There was a huge disconnection with my body.
• 24:49
  Which I think might be I don't want to say a good thing, but it was a good thing, but I had to come back to my body in order to heal my bo- in myself, in my everything.
• 25:01
  I had to really go back.
• 25:04
  Or come back.
• 25:04
  It was protective.
• 25:05
  It was protective then.
• 25:06
  Yeah.
• 25:06
  Now it's- yeah.
• 25:07
  So thank God that was my survival st- that was my survival strategy, right?
• 25:13
  I actually have a an activation that's called survival strategy also, that helps to go back and look at all the decisions I'm, we made, we make, as a child in order to survive.
• 25:28
  We're lucky that we have that ability to survive or we would die.
• 25:32
  We would actually die.
• 25:34
  Yeah.
• 25:34
  Yeah.
• 25:35
  We're one of the few species, that's why we don't...
• 25:37
  That's why we internalize everything.
• 25:39
  Yeah.
• 25:39
  Because we're not gonna ever admit that our caregivers, the people that we're 100% dependent on, were ever wrong.
• 25:45
  So when you hear that, you hear that, that negative thing or your mom tells you, when you sh- you hug her and say, "Mommy, I got hurt," and she says, "Get over it, it's okay- I don't have time
• 25:57
  for that right now," you don't go, "Okay, Mom's dealing with her own stuff."
• 26:01
  You don't process all that.
• 26:02
  You just know, "I'm not important, and my pain doesn't matter," period.
• 26:05
  Or- or or you we, it, we made it something about ourselves.
• 26:10
  "Oh, maybe I'm overdramatic.
• 26:13
  Maybe I'm asking too much.
• 26:14
  Maybe..."
• 26:16
  Whatever we say about ourselves, so now we create another foundational of how we are and how we're being.
• 26:22
  "Oh, there's something wrong with me because I'm so emotional, and I'm crying, and wah, wah," I remember as a child I would just cry.
• 26:29
  If somebody yelled, I would cry.
• 26:32
  It was, I couldn't s- stop, and I was like, I would have to go, I would go in my room and be like, "All right, you stop crying right now."
• 26:40
  Having this talk in my room, and I was only like seven or eight years old.
• 26:42
  I'd be like, "You stop crying right now.
• 26:45
  Why do you need to cry?
• 26:46
  Blah, blah, blah, get, get over it."
• 26:47
  So then I became this, s- I became stronger, but I disregarded anything- Yeah when I felt.
• 26:55
  Yeah, you can't.
• 26:56
  Right?
• 26:56
  Which is what- the path I think a lot of people take, or they just take another one, whether they...
• 27:02
  I don't know.
• 27:03
  I think a lot of people lately, because people allow them to be with their emotions, don't actually process their emotions, but sit in the emotion for a long time.
• 27:14
  You would know better than that.
• 27:15
  I think people just stay there.
• 27:17
  Yeah.
• 27:18
  Yep.
• 27:19
  I think we have to have- And it's a- Yeah, go ahead.
• 27:21
  Go ahead I was gonna say, I think we have to have that conversation with ourselves that are like, "Okay, let's pro-," but, I can say that now, I'm older, but I couldn't say it then.
• 27:31
  No.
• 27:31
  Let's process, you, like you just said.
• 27:33
  Let's look at this.
• 27:35
  Yeah.
• 27:36
  We don't have the logical thinking brain yet at that point.
• 27:38
  We're just not...
• 27:39
  Our brains aren't s- aren't evolved enough to do that.
• 27:42
  Yeah.
• 27:42
  So we do the only thing we know, which is survive and protect the people that are supposed to protect us, period.
• 27:49
  Yeah.
• 27:49
  It's, this sounds, it's cool.
• 27:51
  So it's the app.
• 27:52
  Is it an ongoing...
• 27:54
  Is it just cumulative build, or is it stuff you keep going back to different ones?
• 28:00
  Or how does it work?
• 28:00
  Oh, yeah.
• 28:01
  Oh, for sure.
• 28:02
  The more you listen to it, the deeper you go with the processing things that have happened in your life.
• 28:09
  Okay and I like I really mean it's so super safe.
• 28:13
  It's a super safe way- Okay to do it.
• 28:15
  And people that have done it are like, "Oh my God."
• 28:17
  They have these big realizations about their life, and I think it releases- It releases a lot of things that are, holding onto you.
• 28:29
  And they actually use the word healing when they're describing it.
• 28:34
  I s- it's like I felt so healed from that experience.
• 28:37
  So- that's, I just wanna put that out there.
• 28:41
  No, 'cause that's great.
• 28:42
  And I think it touches that, yeah.
• 28:43
  Yeah.
• 28:44
  Because the release is the healing.
• 28:46
  That's what...
• 28:46
  I do a lot of the mind-body connection, and it's like you said, until you get it out of your body and your body knows.
• 28:53
  You can say, "I forgive him," and you can logically know, "I forgive him," but then you see him and your whole body clenches, then you're not forgiven and you're not energetically over anything.
• 29:04
  And as long as that's in your body, it stays with you.
• 29:06
  So it's, yeah, any time- you can have that big cathartal- cathartic it's a release.
• 29:11
  Yeah.
• 29:11
  And I think it's the intention too.
• 29:13
  Let's just say you pick one of the apps, like the, you wanna sol- you wanna look at your food habits, and you pick one of those, and then you continually do it.
• 29:22
  It's almost like a, How do I say it?
• 29:25
  It's your intention behind that.
• 29:27
  I'm gonna get I'm gonna...
• 29:29
  Let me put myself on this nourishing path for that, and let me get some, successes, some shifts, some neutralizations around different parts of my food ex- food journey, we all have one, I don't know anybody that says, I
• 29:46
  love the way I eat.
• 29:47
  I love the way I nourish myself."
• 29:49
  Nobody...
• 29:50
  I don't...
• 29:51
  Let's get the, let's get humanity to that point where they're like, "I love the way..."
• 29:55
  I'm starting to say that just because the intention behind everything is all of it, right?
• 30:03
  It's the whole intention behind that experience, and then things start to shift.
• 30:06
  And I thought the biggest thing for me was, I was like this, I loved choc- I love chocolate.
• 30:13
  I love choc- I don't even want it anymore.
• 30:15
  It's the weirdest thing.
• 30:16
  It's like I'm neutrali- I call it all of these things, neu- that I was obsessed with.
• 30:21
  Crunchy tortillas, these kind of things.
• 30:24
  I, and now I'm like, "Ugh," but- Yeah, if you have it, but you're not like, "I gotta have chocolate."
• 30:29
  No, I don't...
• 30:29
  It's even better than that.
• 30:31
  I don't even want it, yeah.
• 30:32
  Inside of me, I'm like, they're like...
• 30:34
  And my body, I get a yes or a no now.
• 30:36
  Oh, and I ask for that, by the way.
• 30:38
  I ask my body to give me an answer.
• 30:41
  Do we have a d- do we yes, do we want it, or do we no, do we not want it, and I ask my body to, to inform me- What is, what I want.
• 30:53
  What do I really want?
• 30:54
  I don't...
• 30:55
  It's denying ourselves, we know that.
• 30:58
  Denying our- denying ourselves something is even more catastrophic because then we become obsessed with it.
• 31:07
  So- It's like you, what's the old saying?
• 31:08
  I'm like, "Okay, you want it?"
• 31:09
  Yeah, the old saying you always want what you can't have.
• 31:12
  So it's if you know you're trying not to do that, you're like, I want it," where- you might not have even thought about it.
• 31:16
  What does your body test look like to you?
• 31:20
  It's- Like I- for me, it's a voice now.
• 31:23
  Okay.
• 31:23
  Is it a voice?
• 31:23
  So it just answers your voice.
• 31:25
  No, mine is a sway.
• 31:26
  I do the sway testing.
• 31:28
  I do, I started out with the sway testing- but it's really now turned into yeah, it's the same voice that was, telling me not so great things about myself, that I was- fighting with and arguing with, has turned
• 31:40
  into now "Eh, you know what?
• 31:41
  We don't need it," or, "We don't want it."
• 31:43
  Yeah.
• 31:43
  "Eh, no."
• 31:46
  I do listen for the voice too, and that voice does come to me now.
• 31:49
  I'll be like do I really need this?"
• 31:50
  And it's "No, you don't."
• 31:51
  Or, I'll be like what am I supposed to be doing here?"
• 31:53
  And it'll say something like, "Just keep going," or, not that.
• 31:56
  Like I'm like, "Okay."
• 31:57
  Yeah.
• 31:58
  But- I'm like- but most of the time I still- I think the voice...
• 32:01
  Don't you think it activates your voice?
• 32:03
  I think it does.
• 32:04
  And to me- Yeah to me, and I don't know what you're thinking about this, is but to me it's the fact that we are born all-knowing universally in image of whatever you want to say your God is, but-
• 32:16
  I feel like we were born with all of that knowledge in us, and then we stopped listening to it.
• 32:21
  And so now- Absolutely it's literally just you telling you because you are all-knowing.
• 32:26
  That's that gut instinct, so listen to it.
• 32:28
  Yeah.
• 32:28
  We stopped listening to it for whatever reason.
• 32:31
  Yeah.
• 32:32
  And we all did, almost all of us.
• 32:34
  Yeah.
• 32:34
  Plus it keeps us company.
• 32:36
  There you go.
• 32:36
  That, there's that too.
• 32:37
  It's like our, it's our friend.
• 32:38
  We're making our mind our ally.
• 32:41
  Y- Yeah like we can trust.
• 32:43
  I think that's the key thing.
• 32:45
  We get to develop a trust with our minds and our voice- Oh, that we're like, "Oh, okay.
• 32:52
  So I have somebody to rely on.
• 32:54
  I don't have to go out and ask somebody else who doesn't really know what is good for..."
• 32:58
  Other people don't really know what's good for us.
• 33:00
  It'd be great if we could just check in sometimes, but we don't need to, right?
• 33:05
  If we have our- our voice and our body and our spirit talking to us on some- Yep level that's affirming.
• 33:12
  I think the word is affirmation.
• 33:14
  Affirming us in our daily- oh, and that, that's another thing.
• 33:19
  What we can do, this is a good one.
• 33:21
  What we can do is just things that we already know, yes or no questions to, right?
• 33:27
  Isn't that how you develop that?
• 33:29
  We ask, okay higher power, higher self, God, Whatever.
• 33:35
  my inner self, my soul.
• 33:37
  What do we, what should we do?
• 33:38
  Like you just said, what should we do?
• 33:39
  What...
• 33:40
  And then once we start to develop that, it starts to come without us even, noticing it.
• 33:47
  It's just starts to show up.
• 33:50
  Yep.
• 33:51
  Yep.
• 33:51
  And that's, I think, the biggest thing, is trusting it.
• 33:54
  Trusting what it tells you because- I didn't for a long time.
• 33:58
  Yeah.
• 33:58
  B- and it just depends.
• 34:00
  It depends on- where you were in the process.
• 34:02
  But, it sounds like your process, whether it's the book, the app, or whatever it is, it sounds like it's, you can inter- intertwine it into your life at any point.
• 34:13
  It's not like you have to be on this certain path or on this certain point in your journey.
• 34:18
  That's why I ask the trauma informed stuff, 'cause I'm picturing me sitting there.
• 34:21
  It's so many people are at so close to the beginning of having no awareness, no anything, but it sounds like this is a...
• 34:29
  you can integrate this pretty quickly into any stage of your life.
• 34:34
  Yes.
• 34:35
  For sure.
• 34:36
  For sure.
• 34:37
  You just...
• 34:38
  It's like when I say the nourishing path and, all the stuff that goes with it, it's- it's something we can align with w- and immediately.
• 34:49
  And I s- like I said in the beginning this nourishing path is a mantra.
• 34:53
  Okay, I'm on the path of nourishment, so the...
• 34:55
  We're creating whatever we're creating.
• 34:58
  We're creating this wonderful path, and we're creating this, no matter what happens, it could be any aspect of your life, whatever's happening is benefiting us on some level, right?
• 35:10
  And we are always there acknowledging ourself in the right place and it just expands, and it expands itself.
• 35:20
  Yeah.
• 35:21
  I love that.
• 35:22
  Yeah.
• 35:22
  You said it right in the beginning.
• 35:23
  You said it perfectly where you said w- in this nourishment phase or in this nourishment journey or whatever we're looking at life as happening for us, not to us.
• 35:32
  Yeah.
• 35:32
  And when you flip that mindset, that is a huge piece of the puzzle.
• 35:36
  So huge.
• 35:37
  It really is.
• 35:37
  Yeah.
• 35:39
  So talk a little bit more about your book, and where we can find it and all that good stuff, and how to get on your app and- what that looks like.
• 35:46
  So it's on Amazon, and I'll just pull it up.
• 35:49
  Okay.
• 35:49
  I'll put the link in there in the show notes.
• 35:51
  Yeah, put the link in there.
• 35:52
  It's called Nourish.
• 35:53
  I'm so proud of the cover too because- I like it it's like a bowl.
• 35:56
  It's like filling your bowl up.
• 35:58
  Your bowl is your soul.
• 36:00
  It's your life and...
• 36:02
  and the app you could find under the App Store- Okay if you're on Apple, and it's called the Nourish app.
• 36:09
  And my website is Isabelle, I-S-A-B-E-L, dash Chiara, C-H-I-A-R-A .com, and everything's there.
• 36:19
  All the books, all of the books.
• 36:20
  I have a few other books also that I've written.
• 36:22
  This is my third one.
• 36:24
  And I've just finished my, a new book, which is called Nourish 365, which was a way to write down on a daily basis what how to nourish yourself.
• 36:39
  So it's like a blueprint.
• 36:41
  It's like a blow-by-blow every day- Oh, nice "Hey, do this," and then I give you practices, and you could fill it out.
• 36:49
  You could write in the book, and you could fill it out, and you d- you don't have to follow it day by day, but you could just open the book up and say- "Hey, what do I need today?"
• 36:57
  And then, it'll tell you.
• 36:59
  But that's not out yet.
• 37:00
  That's gonna come out in September.
• 37:02
  But I'm definitely s- I love this path.
• 37:04
  It's been the only- that's been, like, so nourishing for me in my life- so to speak.
• 37:11
  It's it's a huge message.
• 37:14
  And if humanity can get on board with this message, I think it's gonna really change con- human consciousness, who doesn't wanna- Yes look at their life as, amazing wonderful, and, joyful- Exactly and yeah.
• 37:29
  Yeah.
• 37:30
  Nobody wants to go around and not be happy.
• 37:33
  They don't wake up in the morning and...
• 37:34
  I work a lot of people that have addictions.
• 37:36
  People don't wake up in the morning and go, "I think I'll drink myself to death and ruin my family and destroy my life."
• 37:41
  Sounds like fun.
• 37:42
  They don't do that There's other things going on in their mind.
• 37:45
  There's reasons that you...
• 37:46
  There's a...
• 37:47
  It's a whole, it's a whole journey, and it's not one thing.
• 37:51
  It's not one moment.
• 37:52
  But you have to kinda take every moment at a time.
• 37:55
  Like one moment- at a time, and make the better decisions- Yeah and the more nourishing decisions, I guess you could say.
• 38:01
  And what if they are focused?
• 38:03
  What if they were able to f- change their focus and shift their focus?
• 38:06
  It sounds easier than it...
• 38:07
  It sounds easier than it really is, but it is easy to tell you the truth.
• 38:13
  We have to replace...
• 38:15
  I think we have to replace the things, how we look at things to- Yeah something that would work for us that we could buy into.
• 38:23
  Yep.
• 38:23
  Yep.
• 38:24
  And just getting curious.
• 38:25
  I tell everybody, just instead of judging, that's like step number one, and I'm sure that's in your whole process is be- just being curious instead of judgmental.
• 38:33
  Instead of having that inner voice say, "What's wrong with you?"
• 38:36
  be like, "Why did I..."
• 38:37
  "Why?"
• 38:38
  Instead of saying- you know what I mean?
• 38:40
  Just ask yourself- Yeah different questions is, can be nourishing in itself.
• 38:43
  Yeah.
• 38:44
  Curiosity softens everything.
• 38:44
  You're really changing, you're really changing the whole conversation that you have with yourself.
• 38:50
  I think that's- really kinda underlying everything.
• 38:53
  Yep.
• 38:53
  Because saying one thing to yourself that is not nice or healthy or...
• 38:59
  you're really trying to get to the point of self-love.
• 39:02
  Let's just- let's just say that's really ultimately, and that would create just a sense of joy and in our lives.
• 39:13
  Perfect.
• 39:13
  I love it.
• 39:14
  Thank you so much for coming on, Isabelle.
• 39:16
  I appreciate you, and I'm gonna, like I said I'll put a reference to the first episode 'cause it was...
• 39:21
  The conversation I'm sure- was completely different maybe- Yeah but a little bit the same.
• 39:25
  But so people know where to work with how to find you, we're gonna have all of those- Right links in the show notes so people- don't have to drive or do anything like that.
• 39:33
  Stop driving and write it down.
• 39:34
  But if you could give the listeners, now I'm sure by now they've probably gotten a ton of messages from you, but what would be something your big words of wisdom that you could give them for today?
• 39:47
  I just wanted to say, one, I also have a gift for your listeners, and it's- Oh, okay 10 ways, 10 ways to nourish your life.
• 39:53
  Okay.
• 39:54
  And so if they write in, and they'll get this free gift from us.
• 39:57
  And, I'm sorry, your question was...
• 40:00
  Okay, I think the biggest thing is that your inner world is shaping your outer life, and that as we shift how we hold everything in our life, every single thing we do, if we start to shift how we
• 40:15
  hold, "How else can I hold this?
• 40:17
  What else can I do?"
• 40:18
  As we start to shift that, we'll start to notice that the words that we're saying to ourselves, and we'll notice that the way we li- lighten up, whoo, lighten up our lives, are gonna start to totally shift.
• 40:30
  And I don't wanna say it's gonna take years.
• 40:32
  It's not gonna take years.
• 40:34
  It's gonna take, and you could have a huge shift in a month, and...
• 40:38
  not a month, a couple of days that- Yeah in a moment if you change- In a moment something that dramatically.
• 40:44
  But you could have a whole big, more of a shift and, as the time goes on, where you're like, "Oh my God, I can't believe I used to think all these things."
• 40:53
  And now, we're living, you're living this whole nother life, that you love.
• 40:59
  I love it.
• 41:00
  Yeah.
• 41:00
  I absolutely love it.
• 41:02
  So thank you again so much for coming on.
• 41:04
  I appreciate you.
• 41:06
  Thank you.
• 41:07
  I appreciate what you're doing in the world also.
• 41:10
  It's- thank you.
• 41:11
  And for everybody else out there listening, you heard it.
• 41:13
  It's your body, your mind, and your spirit, and you need to nourish them in any way, shape, or form than you can, that you can.
• 41:20
  Grab her book, grab the app.
• 41:23
  Just learn to love yourself, and it's one small step at a time.
• 41:26
  It's one small little tweak.
• 41:28
  Sometimes, guys, she said it and she said nine different things, 10 different things throughout the episode, if you go back and listen to it again, where it's just these little tweaks, but a little tweak can have astronomical changes
• 41:41
  on your entire mindset if you just switch things a little bit, just little things.
• 41:46
  So grab it and know that every step you take walking forward towards a better life is, ah, so worth it, and that you are worth it, my friends.
• 41:55
  So you all have a blessed day, and we will see you back.
• 41:58
  Thank you.
• 41:58
  Thank you, and thanks for having me.
• 42:00
  You're welcome.