Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Are narcissists attracted to other narcissists?
Transcript
- 0:00So are narcissists attracted to other narcissists and toxic
- 0:04people? If you're new here, my name is
- 0:06Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:08narcissist and welcome to another episode of the
- 0:10Narcissist Code. So welcome back, Welcome back.
- 0:29Welcome back. So, yeah.
- 0:32Oh goodness gracious. So are narcissists attracted to
- 0:36other narcissists? The the answer to this question
- 0:38right here, y'all it's going to be it's can narcissists end up
- 0:42together? Yes, they can absolutely end up
- 0:44together. So as a diagnosed narcissist
- 0:47myself, am I attracted to being friends and in relationships
- 0:50with other narcissists or toxic people?
- 0:53I used to be, you know, just being realistic.
- 0:55I used to be. I've dated narcissistic women
- 0:58before. I really have.
- 1:00And it is not. Ten out of 10 do not recommend.
- 1:03But that's what that's how it happens sometimes.
- 1:04Like sometimes it's like a weird type of energy that pulls you
- 1:09into this relationship dynamic with a person.
- 1:11Because y'all, maybe y'all are in close proximity to to one
- 1:14another, because you work together.
- 1:16Maybe y'all are been friends for a long time or whatever.
- 1:20You just met and y'all have mutual friends and now y'all
- 1:22have connected and both of y'all have similar stories and similar
- 1:25traumas and similar neglect and similar backgrounds.
- 1:27And that draws you to a person or that person's personality
- 1:30matches yours to a team. You can sense it.
- 1:33It's not like you can sense it and it pulls you together and
- 1:36it's extremely, yeah, it doesn't start off extremely toxic.
- 1:39It start off, it starts off just like the the basis of a regular
- 1:43non narcissistic relationship I would reckon.
- 1:46But it gets toxic really fast because you have two people in
- 1:50this situation that are trying to sometimes two people are love
- 1:55bombing each other, right? Two people are love bombing each
- 1:59other. Two people are trying to be
- 2:01together in this space. In this situation, two people
- 2:04are trying to mirror each other. So like, nobody really has an
- 2:08identity here. So if we were just meeting and
- 2:10I'm pretending I'm acting like you and you mirroring me, it's
- 2:13like who the hell is being real in this situation?
- 2:16You know, because there are some narcissists out there,
- 2:19especially some of the self aware ones that will go for
- 2:22other narcissists. They they only are attracted to
- 2:25other narcissists like this is this, this is the height of
- 2:27their level of attraction. They just are like I need
- 2:29another narcissist because then I would least we'll understand
- 2:32each other. Then I won't have to spend
- 2:33myself, have to spend my. I spend a lot of my time
- 2:36explaining myself to the other person about how my emotions
- 2:39don't click and how I just don't really connect to one.
- 2:42One person won't be enough. They'll understand it and we'll
- 2:44cheat on each other and we'll be super toxic or whatever
- 2:47together, blah blah blah. It's crazy.
- 2:48It's a crazy, it makes sense, but it's also at the same time a
- 2:52crazy dynamic because you said you'll be cheating on each other
- 2:54and you'll be going back and forth and neither one of y'all
- 2:56can trust the other person. It it's it's craziness
- 2:59sometimes, you know? But there are some narcissists
- 3:01out there who are just kind of pulled towards each other.
- 3:04And I know that some of y'all can understand this is what it's
- 3:07understand this as well because maybe your toxic narcissistic ex
- 3:10ended up with a has another narcissistic partner.
- 3:13You know has a narcissistic toxic partner that's already had
- 3:16been narcissists but they can't be toxic as hell.
- 3:19Their their toxicity pulled them to each other and now they're
- 3:22both taps kind of teamed up to be toxic against you.
- 3:26You know, realistically this happened in the situation with
- 3:30one of my friends. Her name is Lisa Sunny.
- 3:32She her name is stronger than before.
- 3:34She wrote. She actually wrote this book,
- 3:37right. She wrote this.
- 3:38She wrote the trauma. She wrote the Trauma Bond
- 3:41Recovery journal. It's on Amazon.
- 3:43Help people break the trauma bond.
- 3:44Her narcissistic ex, sociopathic ex actually left her and ended
- 3:50up with a, you know, possibly worse woman.
- 3:54You see what I'm saying? A worst part had a worst
- 3:56partner, so to speak. Allegedly, Zola Legend left her
- 4:01for a a worse part, and a partner is complicit in the
- 4:05harassment of her. They they've teamed up and been
- 4:09equally harassing me, equally toxic and whatnot.
- 4:12It's just part of the story. And you know, it's just written
- 4:14out. But it happens.
- 4:16They can be equally toxic, equally abusive, equally
- 4:18manipulative and whatnot. That happens sometimes right
- 4:21there in that space. You know what I mean?
- 4:23One of her ex partner, I don't know if you know, one of her ex
- 4:25partners back in the day left her and now they both are
- 4:28together and both being toxic together.
- 4:30It happens. It happens to the best of you.
- 4:32It happens to the best of you sometimes, you know,
- 4:34realistically. So that's why I tell people
- 4:36within this space and within this dynamic, that's what
- 4:39happens. Sometimes narcissists end up
- 4:41together, sometimes it's sometimes it's through the
- 4:44attraction and sometimes it's just through, you know, they
- 4:46just end up together and then they both end up being toxic as
- 4:49hell to each other. Like, damn, both of us are toxic
- 4:51as hell. It doesn't always start off.
- 4:53It's just like oh we're we're going to fall in love.
- 4:55We're both narcissists, you know, very rarely does does it
- 4:58happen. But some self aware narcissists
- 5:00or borderline do end up together.
- 5:02You know what I mean? Sometimes that does happen
- 5:05within these spaces and in these dynamics.
- 5:07So I just tell people to you know keep everything moving
- 5:10forward or like to power yourself up to just continue
- 5:13moving forward and to keep keep strong.
- 5:15Because if you, even if you've been like, let's say Lisa and
- 5:17her situation, she allegedly getting harassed by two toxic
- 5:21narcissistic people and they just get double teaming or
- 5:23ganging up on her making up lies together, you know it's a force.
- 5:27It's damn near a force to be reckoned with because two
- 5:29narcissists together will try to exhaust victims on both sides of
- 5:33the coin, so to speak, but victims on both sides of the
- 5:37dynamic and whatnot, because that happens in real life.
- 5:41So I want to tell people that in these situations, just be very
- 5:45be, be very, very careful. Like, be very careful in these
- 5:48situations because two narcissists together are.
- 5:51Yeah, it's so toxic. Like I said, like my
- 5:53relationship with my narcissistic ex was so toxic
- 5:56that I it is, is over a decade ago.
- 5:59I still bring it up in therapy every once in a while because it
- 6:01just bothers me sometimes. It's like, you know, some of the
- 6:03stuff that happened and some of the stuff that we were doing to
- 6:05each other, it's super bothersome.
- 6:08So narcissistic people could be attracted to another narcissist
- 6:11because like you had me and my ex we definitely had very
- 6:15similar stories about father's. Father's not been in our lives
- 6:19and mother's kind of you know working all the time and we kind
- 6:22of raised yeah we both have very similar stories so to speak so
- 6:27but right now it's a whole different dynamic like so I
- 6:30don't know would I go for a narcissist now or self award
- 6:33when that's in therapy. They've been they've proven
- 6:36track record of change behaviour maybe.
- 6:39Maybe. But just I just don't recommend
- 6:44if you're a narcissist, the ex it's the threat.
- 6:46It's just, hey, I, you know, they're calling you a
- 6:48narcissist. Because I think one of the main
- 6:50reasons that I do get this question right here is because a
- 6:53lot of people might be convinced that they themselves are
- 6:56narcissists because they might have picked up narcissistic
- 6:59fleas or narcissistic traits from their toxic ex.
- 7:02So you might start acting narcissistic or feeling
- 7:04narcissistic yourself. So you start to start blaming
- 7:07yourself on a lot of the things that you do and a lot of the
- 7:09things that happen. And you might be thinking that
- 7:11this is a narcissist versus narcissist relationship that you
- 7:13are in. Right.
- 7:15But it doesn't mean that you're a narcissist in these
- 7:17situations. Sometimes if you you've been
- 7:19with a person for an extended period of time, you might start
- 7:21to behave like them, you might start to act like them, you
- 7:23know. So that happens quite a bit as
- 7:26well because that I think that's the basis behind me.
- 7:28Getting this question a lot is like, can two narcissists be
- 7:31together or or narcissists attracted to each other?
- 7:33Yeah, you can be together, but like how does it, you know, it
- 7:36doesn't mean that you are a narcissist because you ended up
- 7:38with a toxic partner. You might be both might be toxic
- 7:40together. How were you before this
- 7:42relationship started? You know, were you like this in
- 7:45any other relationship or was it like be honest with yourself
- 7:48too? Were you like this in any other
- 7:50relationship or is it? Has this became some traits and
- 7:53behaviors that you picked up to survive in your current
- 7:55relationship? Those are questions you have to
- 7:58ask yourself when you're trying to survive with a toxic,
- 8:00narcissistic person. Y'all me with y'all.
- 8:03I got to hop off here I have a one-on-one to do over zoom and
- 8:05whatnot. Sit down for a little bit.
- 8:07I appreciate you all y'all being here.
- 8:08Make sure you subscribe to the channel and do this.
- 8:10Is that peace? Thank you so much for making it
- 8:13to the end of my video. You are a mental illness
- 8:15Rockstar and I appreciate you for being here.
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- 8:30out. Thank you.
- 8:31I will see you in the next video.
- 8:32Peace.