Latest / Success Story with Scott Clary / Lessons - Why No One Really Hears What You're Saying | Dr. Mark Goulston - Dying Expert, International Keynote Speaker & Author

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Lessons - Why No One Really Hears What You're Saying | Dr. Mark Goulston - Dying Expert, International Keynote Speaker & Author · Success Story with Scott Clary

• 0:00
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  In this lessons episode, discover how to communicate effectively and captivate your audience,
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  whether you're pitching to investors or building personal connections, learn the power of being
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  compelling to open minds and convincing to close deals as well as insights into understanding and
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  addressing what your audience truly wants. You understand communication exceptionally well
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  and everything that you've done if you go back and I think you were at one point a hostage
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  negotiation trainer. So I mean listening communication is paramount and if you don't have a message
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  it resonates with the audience, keep in mind my audience is significantly lower risk in terms of
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  disappointing than somebody who's holding a hostage. I think that's a high stakes game than that
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  podcast listener driving on their way to work, but the point is you still have to communicate in a
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  way that it resonates with them where they don't tune you out and they don't say oh this is a waste of
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  my time. So you've nailed it 100% you've nailed it. So where do we go? So let's build on what you just
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  said. Something I do with accelerators and their cohorts is I will often do a presentation
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  on how to pitch to investors after you run out of friends and family money.
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  And something the CEO of some of these accelerators say my people love this when you bring it up
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  and and again when I'm there speaking to these startups I'll say how many of you have ever
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  pitched to an investor and you smile and you think it's a yes and you think oh good they're
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  going to give me money they're going to invest and it's not a yes and what I say is investors don't
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  smile it's about money they're smiling to be polite because in the first five or 10 minutes of
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  what you've said they already know it's a no but they don't want to insult you because you put
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  so much effort into that deck of yours you know they don't want to have to four slides and you
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  got 40 to say I think I've seen enough goodbye. So they smile and when I when I've done this with
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  their groups you know three of the people say that happened to me yesterday I said well you know
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  don't call it on the money happening and and I say this is what they're listening for
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  because one of the most compelling things you can do and I have another saying you want to be
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  compelling to open people's minds to earn the right to be convincing about what you're trying to
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  sell them and too often people are so passionate about what they're trying to sell that they are
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  convincing too soon and what's on your investor's mind and this is what I tell them is I say if you've
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  had enough of those smiles which turned out to be nose here's a suggestion modify it to fit your
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  language and when they smile like that and you know it's a no you stop all the slides and you say
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  oh can we pause for a moment and they're going to get nervous because you caught them not wanting
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  to be rude to you the gaha you caught that you but just a quick point before you go just a quick
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  how do you know just you're saying that when they're actually smiling on the zoom call that is
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  a very like a significant indicator that they're not going to proceed so the smile is
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  them tuning out and saying no as opposed to if they're focused and concentrated and like kind of
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  like what I could do when I'm trying to pay attention you frown and you focus that's more of an
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  indicator so you're saying the smile is the red flag I think it's a red flag I'll tell you what
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  would make them smile and this is one of the ways you can address it is is you
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  and even if they're smiling and it's a good smile leading to a yes you pause and you say
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  when we when I started this presentation we were like this I need money you have money you know
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  and you came here because I'm possibly a company that you're going to give money to and now we're
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  like this where this is you with money that I'm never going to see and here is me
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  and hopefully that's intriguing because it shows so much self-awareness and you could say let me see
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  if I get what you were listening for that you didn't hear or you didn't hear yet and maybe you
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  don't think you'll ever hear it's kind of like what I said about you and your audiences now chances
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  are you're not pitching to the head of an investment company you know you're pitching to someone
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  is lower down you know maybe probably not even a partner and you're and what you say is I think
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  you're listening for a unicorn because there's a good chance that you may have brought in some
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  non unicorns and there may even be a chance that you've brought in some businesses that really
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  made people question your judgment like what were you thinking and is it possible that you're
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  listening for a unicorn for that grand slam home run when you bring it back they say how much can we
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  put in you know when can you secure this so am I reading you right or wrong that you're listening
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  for something that'll be that special and given what I've already told you it doesn't seem like
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  this is that special so do you follow me you're you're tracking with something and here are the two
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  things also just I talked about be compelling to open and convincing to close I was an advisor in
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  the OJ Simpson trial to the prosecution and and one of the ways to be compelling is for the other
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  person to think of the state of themselves I never would have thought of that ever and that
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  is relevant to our problem so I shared some so what we're doing is we're good glad sorry so I shared
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  something with the district attorney in LA and I said you know when you're picking a jury this might
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  go this might be what one of the things you should look for and he went back to Marsha Clark
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  and then he came back and he said we never ever would have thought of that and it's the elephant
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  of the room and I don't talk much about it because they lost and again I'm not an opportunist I
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  sent them 150 pages of faxes and they said you know 80% of your stuff is really off the wall crazy
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  but 20% of it is just it's startling and they wouldn't tell me what which are my input they use
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  although occasionally one of the prosecutors would say watch the trial tomorrow you might notice something
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  and so so what's compelling is that I just main drop the OJ Simpson trial that wasn't bad
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  and but also people thinking I never would have thought of that ever and that's relevant
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  and the other thing is what I did with you about your audience when people say how did you know
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  that about me when I didn't tell you anything she's I wonder what other things you know about me
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  I wonder what other insights you have into me so I think those are the two best first impressions
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  if you want to engage someone if that's what triggers what they're thinking and so again talking
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  circling back to investors you know there is a good chance that they're listening for a unicorn
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  and by the way if they say you know they may not be forthcoming they might say well that makes sense
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  because they don't want to give up you know because they're all control freaks well that makes
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  sense and they can say look if you can tell me what a unicorn would look like so that you could
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  recognize it and it doesn't have to be something you brought into your investment firm it could be
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  any unicorn that someone brought in and when they were celebrating it you know what were some of
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  the things that made it such a unicorn and here's the other thing that I did with these cohorts
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  they said uh and and if you can get them to scribe what a unicorn looks like because they're
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  looking their lips to find it uh you can say oh we actually have that but that would have been
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  slides 30 to 35 and you would have been asleep by then or I love this or you uh you know
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  that that is so specific I don't have it we don't have it but there's three companies in my cohort
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  that do and I'm happy to make an introduction and I'm not looking for a referral fee
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  I'm looking for you to be successful and I'm looking for them to be successful and then you make
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  the introduction and uh and you're generous with no strings attached because that will enable you to
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  go back to that investor and to go back to those members of your cohort because you focused on
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  their success other than your own can I can I tell you a funny anecdote please yeah
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  so I'm going to speak in Moscow and again my books are done pretty well and one of their
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  biggest uh business publications it's called RBC it's I think it's like fortune or Forbes
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  and because I'm coming there my books are so well known uh I get a call from Ilia and Ilia says to me
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  I talk to Gulston I know you're coming to a Moscow and I'm uh I'm I'm assigned to do an interview with you
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  and I said Ilia it's good to meet you can I tell you the one and only thing that I'm concerned about
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  what is that doctor Gulston the only thing I'm concerned about is that you write an article
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  that gets you a big raise of promotion it's the only thing I care about that's the good news the
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  bad news is uh as my good friend Scott knows I kind of talk in tangents
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  I throw in this story I throw in this insight so uh it's going to be up to you to somehow pull
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  it all together to write such an article and here's the proof of method uh a building that kind of
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  generosity I go to Moscow and the person planning the event said uh uh Dr. Gulston do you remember
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  the interview you did with uh uh for RBC I said yes they said it's been viewed four hundred and sixty
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  five thousand times and it's in the top ten number of views of any article in the history of the
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  publication so there was something about that I should reach out to Ilia and say how are you doing
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  but you know we're in kind of a war zone yeah but can you see how that could work thanks for
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  tuning in if you found this valuable don't forget to hit that subscribe button so you never miss
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  an episode and if you want to dive deeper into this conversation check out the links in the
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  description to watch the full episode see you in the next one