Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / The Real Story with Clayton Echard and Susie Evans

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The Real Story with Clayton Echard and Susie Evans · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with our radio guys. Fourth almost Famous podcast this week,
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: and it is like the finale of them all, and
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: it's big because Clayton and Susie are both here. Welcome
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: back to the pod. Clayton, we appreciate you coming back
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: after last week's difficult interview, and Susie, thanks for being here.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: You're You're so cute. I love you. Alright, Well, let's
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: start out with some a little more does the tough questions?
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: How rough was last week for your relationship? Last last
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: night last week you had to watch that that episode back. Yeah, well,
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: it's been tough for both of us emotionally. It's a
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: really heavy two episodes this week, and even the week
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: before it was heavy. So um it, Yeah, it's been tough,
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: I think individually, but we've said this so many times.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I can't imagine not having Clayton through this, and I
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: think vice versa. We're just glad that we've found ways
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: to support each other even when it was hard. When
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: you watched that scene back last week, did you at all,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: like feel differently about the verbage that was used, the
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: tone that you guys used with each other, um or
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: was it kind of how you remembered it and it
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: was something that you had already gotten over. Well, I
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: don't know that I would say, this is gonna sound
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: like a silly example. I told it to you though.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: When I was a little kid, my mom hammered a
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: nail into a piece of wood and then pulled it out,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: and she said, you know, when you use words that
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: hurt people, you do damage. And you can pull the
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: harsh words back, you can say you're sorry, but like
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: the pain is still there. You can see the hole
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: in the wood still. And like I told that example
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: to Clayton because I was like, that's something that it
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: It still rings true to me. And I was like,
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: even though we got through that night, and honestly, context
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: is everything, and I didn't have context until after the
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: show for a lot of that um And so you know,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: I see, I certainly see his perspective in a lot
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: of ways, um from that night, and I even understand
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: why that uh switch flipped and everything. But um, yeah,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: I mean it's yeah, it's like an old wound. It
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: hurt like it hurt when it happened, and to watch
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: it back, it was incredibly sad and not just for myself,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: but like I could see, like on Clayton's face, a
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: devastation when he realized he was losing me. Um, it
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: was just a really it was a sad episode. But um,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: the good news is that we are four months past
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: it and like as tough as this week has been
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: to rewatch the episodes, we have had a really good
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: time and we have had moments of joy in between,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: like the tough stuff. Clayton, how was it watching Susie
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: break up with you on TV the sleek? You know?
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I again, like I lived it real time four months ago,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: and so to watch it back, Ah, it's weird. It does.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: It does certainly bring back some emotion, but again I
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: think I'm someone who once I go through it, We've
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: had so much time we've talked it through. Uh we
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: re re really did relive those moments already so many times.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: We've talked about it more than well when we talked
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: about as much as we needed to, and so I
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: already knew and we talked about it. It's countless time.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: So to see it again, Um, it brought back a
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: little bit of emotion, but again I just looked at
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: the full picture. The end result, which I said, you know, okay,
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: like this is tough to see, but we're together, so, UM,
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I don't want this to impact us in a way
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: that's negative, that hurts our relationship in this moment. Some
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: Bachelor couples, um, I haven't watched their season back because
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: they thought it was healthier to do that. Um. Do
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: you guys think it was better for you to watch it? Um? Yes,
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: and no, I've said that at times it was better
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: for me to be distracted and I would be watching
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: with my girlfriends and everyone's kind of talking out loud,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: and I don't go back and rewatch those episodes by
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: myself because I'm like, I don't need to. Yeah, I
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: don't necessarily need to hear everything and over analyze everything,
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: so aspects of it are good to just like, Yeah,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I've had fun, I've made light and you know, enjoyed
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: watching it when I can. But I've tried not to
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: harp on it too much because it is an interpretation of,
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: uh what happened, because you know, you can't fit everything
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: into two hours, so it's the highlights, you know, what
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: about for you? I guess I mean I again, was
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: just I wanted to know whatever it took is She's like,
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: I don't want to watch I don't want to talk
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: about it, and we won't. I did, obviously think when
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: we both talked it all the way through. So as
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: far as watching it, it's like she are toy knew
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: it was coming, um and at that point it's like, hey,
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: do you want to watch this together or do you not?
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: And um. And when we were together we would watch it,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: and I think it just fostered more conversation. It answered
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: more questions that maybe we hadn't talked about, uh, and
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: it led to a greater understanding of who we were
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: uh then and and you know where we can go
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: going forward as a couple, just learning more about each other.
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: So there was I think we tried to find the
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: positives as much as we could throughout it all, and
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: watching it back certainly shed more light on maybe some
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: of the things that we hadn't discussed. Susie, I've got
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: to know to hurdles that everybody's asking how you got
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: over them? First? How did you get over him saying
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: I love you to multiple women and sleeping with the
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: other women when you said that wasn't basically a deal breaker?
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: And then Secondly, how did you get over how did
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: you get from I guess saying like you're not my
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: person to him being your boyfriend? Yeah? Uh um, well,
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: it's it's it's tricky because you can never know what's
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: going on inside. Someone said Clayton didn't know that night
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: when we were speaking, and I was like, I hear you,
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I understand you. I really did, and I was like,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: my mind was kind of blown because if there's one
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: thing I know to be true, it's that Clayton is
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: an honest man, and I knew, like he was telling
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: me the complete truth that night, that he did have
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: love for these women, and at the time, he really
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: did believe that he was in love with all three
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: of us. And in that like that night, I kind
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: of came to this realization of like, this was not
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: necessarily a disregard from my love, this was like in
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: regard for his love with them. And um, I've shared
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: this a couple of times, but post show, Clayton and
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: I have sat down with our journals and we have
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: just literally read from the pages to each other what
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: was going through our minds, where we were at, where
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: our hearts were at. And although Clayton did say that night, Um,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: I love you the most. In my mind, I'm like,
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: if you love me the most, and how could you
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: jeopardize this? But he I mean in his journal and
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: in his true to his experience, he hadn't made his
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: mind up. I think there's a difference between feeling and
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: love and then compatibility. Um. You know, it's not just
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: about a feeling, it's about action. It's about a choice,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: and I think a lot of people know that. Um,
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: you know, in fantasy sweets like this isn't the first
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: time that a bachelor has told people that he's loved
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: them or become intimate with them. And for me, I
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: did feel like it was a deal breaker because I
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: didn't believe Clayton could be in love with me and
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: somebody else. I couldn't wrap my head around it. Um
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: so going you know, yeah, in Iceland, I had to
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: break things off at the end. I just it was
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: what was best for me and I did feel a
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: little selfish in the moment, but now looking back, like,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: I have no regrets. I stand by that decision. We
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: did have to take time apart, and we also had
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: to heal from what happened. There was a lot of
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: pain that happened in Iceland, not just with us, but
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: with Gabby and Rachel, and you did have serious relationships
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: with them, and you did have an emotional attachment to
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: these women while you were in Iceland, and um, we did.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: We took a step back, and I think that's why
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: I've gotten you know, we're here today. He's my boyfriend,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I'm his girlfriend because we didn't just like I didn't
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: just accept the rose and say okay, like I'm gonna try,
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna see like and then feel this pressure from
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: the world, from myself, from everybody to stick with them
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: through the end, like we were at the show last
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: night together because we wanted to be so Um, I
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: just had to do what was best for me. And
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: I think that led me back to Clayton when I
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: was trying to you know, um, because like I was
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: trying to describe my feelings about it last night, and
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I was like, it would be so hypocritical of me
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: and not to understand this because Jared and I went
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: through the same thing, like I literally in Bachelor in
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Paradise was like, so, you're telling me there's no chance
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: we're ever going to be together and he said no,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: and for him, it was like he had to like
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: cut it off cleanly, like he had to kind of
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: give me no hope in order for like it to
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: go forward. I don't. I can't really Again, I'm still
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: struggling to describe why it works best that way. But
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: he was like, I wasn't going to be half in
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: half out. I knew that if we were ever going
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: to date, and he always says that, so we were
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: ever going to date, I had to be in. I
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: basically had to know what I made you my girlfriend
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: that I was going to be down to like do
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: it all. Yeah, So that, yeah, I relate to that.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I actually didn't know that about you guys, So that
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: does it. It's refreshing to hear. And I think it's
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: really confusing for people and they're like, you, I had
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: no chance. It was very accusing for him, but I
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: was like yeah, I mean, and when I did reach out,
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't have the intentions of just restarting a relationship. Um.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: I was like, let's have one candid conversation, let's let's talk,
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: and we rebuilt from there. But it wasn't. Um, yeah,
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: I mean I had so many questions. You had questions,
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: we had a lot too to navigate before we even
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: considered becoming a couple again. So yeah, I really am.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I'm actually like, it's so refreshing to hear that from
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: you because I didn't know that, And yeah, it makes
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: it makes total sense for me. I had to give
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: him that, like it's a no, so we can go
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: separate and if we find our way back to each other,
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: that's great. Yeah. Yeah, I kind of look at it
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: like I believe I don't want to call it a tactic.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: With that thought process I think is rooted in respect
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: for that other person. So you do this because you say,
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I'm going to like while I figure this out where
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: I'm at mentally, I don't want to hold do you
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: hear waiting and the and the thicket things like I
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: want you to be able to move on and then
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: if it's and if you like, I don't want you
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: to sit here and wait. So that's the way I
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: saw it. That's exactly the way that he saw it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: It was just so funny me saying, like, how did
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: she go from saying he's not her person to her boyfriend?
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: I was like, actley, he is you experienced the exact
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: same thing, so you know, it's very much possible, and
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: it still means that person can really love and care
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: for the other person. A lot of people are asking Suozie,
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: why didn't you tell him about your wishes about him
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: not sleeping with anybody in the fantasy suite? And you
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: kind of like answered that. I think you said, like
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: you didn't want to give him an ultimatum. Is there
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: anything else that you can elaborate on there? Yeah, I think. Well,
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: one of the first seasons I ever watched was Peter's season,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: and like Maddie, first of all, so much respect for
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: her because she did upfront sit her expectations. She did
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: get a lot of um I feel like hate and criticism,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: and I remember seeing that and and being like, I
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: think it's great that she was upfront about her expectations
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: and her needs. Um. But I also remember like it
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: being such a highly criticized thing, and I actually regret
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: letting that influence that decision, which I've said it before,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: like when you're when you're there, things move so fast.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: There's not like an ideal time because you don't have
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: another date before Fantasy suitets where it's just you and him,
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: So you figure out that you're going to fantasy sweets
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: and then you're in fantasy suits and then you're the
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: third fantasy suite and it's like, how do you how
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: do you know when to bring that up? And yeah,
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: and I also, yeah, I think that it was a
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: mixture of everything. I didn't know that I that I should.
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: And I thought, if Clayton loves me, and I want
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: him to know, like I want him to know if
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: it's me, and if it's not me, then I'm going
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: to respect that. I'm going to be happy for him.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: But I couldn't fathom a world where it was me
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: and he was like also in love with somebody else,
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: or that it even if you didn't know if it
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: was me, Like, yeah, it was a lot to grasp
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: and it was a lot for you too. We were
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: both I think everyone at the end, we were all
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: pretty confused. Like in general, it was just it was
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: just a lot. It was heavy. Yeah, it's actually really
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: interesting that you say that, because this is something that
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: you're saying watching a prior show influenced like your decision making.
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: I have the big critique that I took was that
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: this guy didn't watch any shows coming in, And my
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: thought was like, well, I don't want to be influenced
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: by something that causes me to react differently. So it's
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: but had I have watched some things, I'm sure it
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: could have benefited me, But you always now you can
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: see like you can watch it and it can actually
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: play against you as well. So it's tough. I mean,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: there's so much that goes into it's such a complex
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: process that you just again you're dealing with individuals that
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: they're different from every other season. So at the end
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: of the day, all different personalities, different environments, and it's
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, I don't. I think you just have
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: to react as you go. A lot of times, Clayton,
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: There's been a couple of conversations that I've had over
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: the past couple of days where people are like he
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: he like had um he made some maybe poor decisions,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: but that's probably because he didn't go through the entire
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: process before. Do you think that it would have benefited
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: you to have gotten further in Michelle's season, or even
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: just to have watched previous Bachelor seasons. Yeah, well I
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: kind of alluded to that. That's why I bring it
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: up now. Yeah, Yeah, I I don't. I just don't know.
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: I think it's at the end of the day, had
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: I had had more information, would I have maybe held
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: back in other areas or maybe had said something differently
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: that may have potentially had a negative impact on my experience. Obviously,
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: as we watched this all back now or have watched
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: it all, everyone's I think, that's a lot of people
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: saying this dude literally could do not right. Um, he
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: just did everything wrong. And I think at the end
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: of the day, I sit here and I tell mysel
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: so if the reason why I can forgive myself for
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: my actions was because I did everything with the best
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: intentions in mind and really following my heart and doing
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: what I thought was best with no malicious intent, and
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: so I can live at the end of the day
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: with myself knowing that I just did what I thought
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: was best with my intuition and following that. I don't know,
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's like, what if
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I would have went farther, would have made a difference.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, I think I can say this much. It
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: would have absolutely have made a difference, for for better
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: or for worse. I I really can't answer that. I
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: don't know. I definitely feel like I were going to
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: keep my own opinion on this. Nothing you did seem
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: to come from a state of malice, like you say.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of it just came from inexperience
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: and just having not gone through a ton of the
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: experience prior. But again, this is just I mean, that's fair, honestly. Yeah,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: I totally understand that that stamp that viewpoint. Yeah, why
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: did you break up with both girls together? And why
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: did you uh stand up there at that podium and
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: tell them that you's that Susie was gone, and that
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: you had slept with both of them and you were
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: in love with both of them at the same time.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: I think that's the problem that a lot of people have,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: is that you did both of those things in like
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: a group setting. Yeah, so obviously I did that twice
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: where I broke up with them I guess or sorry,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: relayed information to them, and then broke up with them
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: together on a separate occasion. I based my second time
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: doing it again as a group based off of the
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: first time. The response for like, they kind of consoled
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: each other at the I'll just call it the road
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: CEREMONI from from how because that's what I keep saying.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: So I simplified. Yeah, all right. Um so I saw
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: them console each other in that environment and thought, okay,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: like then when I break up with the two of them,
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: like they'll canstole each other and this will it will
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: be a lot easier on those two. With as challenging
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: as it says, that was my thought. Right, Obviously I
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: should have done it separate. I agree. I look back
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, I should applably to pull them both
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: aside separately. Um. As far as why they were the
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: first at the Rose Smart Rose ceremony, why I told
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: them that information? Uh, because to me, I look at
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: it like, no relationship can last if you have if
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: you don't have full transparency, if you build a relationship
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: on the better lies or half truths, it won't last.
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: And here's the thing, common sense, everything I did was
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: on camera. So if I didn't tell them that day
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: and I just went on my merry way and through
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: the through that process, let's say that, um, I hypothetically
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: end up with one of those two. Um, they were
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: going to watch that show you know, this season back
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: four months later and I was going to have to
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: answer to all those actions. So common sense was like,
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: you gotta tell them what happened right, like, it's out there, um.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: And I had every intention of obviously being fully transparent
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: because that's just who I am. I am a little
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: bit some some has maybe too blunt, but I think
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: for me, I'm like, if you tell someone everything, um,
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: then there's no there's no secrets and you have you
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: don't have to ever worry about those secrets coming back
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: and potentially ending a relationship. And I see a lot
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: of issues with my friends and or people that I
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: know where they hold back on communicating and that ends
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: up actually destroying the relationship. So I just believe in transparency, really,
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I really do, no matter how hard it is to
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: say it. Okay, well, you guys have done a great
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: job answering my hard questions. Let's light it up for
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: a little bit. We like a couple of minutes with
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: you guys. How was the reconnection, so Susie you reached
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: out to him, I'm assuming via d M on Instagram.
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah alright, alright, so Clinton, when you saw her in
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: your inbox, like, did your heart drop? Were you excited?
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Were you nervous? Like what? I hadn't even really had
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: time to like process it's because it was like, I
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: guess a day later, so I just remember me a
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: day later from the end from the end of the show. Wait,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: you've reached out to that fast. Yeah, oh my god,
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: you gave it like a jay Sin's breaking up with him. Yeah. Okay, okay,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: so tell me about everything. I should preface. I should
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: preface like I've been saying this, but like my intentions
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: were not like, okay, let's restart a relationship. But I
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: said my d M said, if you're open to having
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: one more candid conversation, I would love to have that
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: with you. But I also was like, I'll respect your
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: boundaries if you don't care to have that conversation. But
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: that conversation made the world of difference. And yeah, and
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: I think that's again. She made it very obvious that, hey, listen,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: um I just wanted to check in with you because
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: I care about you as a person after what we
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: just went through. Uh. And we talked and I want
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: to say, probably about a week or two end, after
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: probably six conversations lasting at least three hours apiece, um
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: I said, listen, like, I feel like we should meet
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: up and the just see, like what happens if we
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: spend a weekend together. Uh, let's just see, like no
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: expectations whatsoever, but let's just meet up and see if
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: this sparks anything or if this makes us want to
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: pursue this further, because I did. I actually brought up
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: to at one point I said, listen, I go, I
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: really love that, like you do care about me and
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: that you really are checking in with me, But like this,
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: I I can't help it. Now kind of I'm starting
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: to regain some hope. Like I said, I'm like, we're
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: just talking candidly, but now I'm starting to kind of
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: feel like is there something here? So I just kind
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: of just dressed it head on. I was like, I
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: want to see, right and if and if you, like,
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: can you just give us that chance again? Like I
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: feel like there's something here, and so I kind of
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: maybe put a little you know, put the ball in
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: her court. Obviously, she could say, hey, don't want to
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: meet up, and then I would probably just been like,
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: all right, this is great, we've checked in. But like
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: it was tough for me to like sit you and
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: go kick. I don't want to put pressure on this,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: but like from my well being, like emotional well being,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: I need to kind of understand, like is there a
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: Is there a potentially? Because if not, I don't know
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: if I can really continue just talking to talk right now, Susie,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: how are you feeling? As he was feeling that, Um,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: I was, to be honest, pretty early on after reconnecting,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I felt like I just had so much clarity to everything,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: like until and nobody will ever know. Like that's the
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: thing is, I'm like, until you're in this position, like
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: you will not understand everything, and like I'm grateful that
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: I had that clarity for us, and like even as
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: far as like if we weren't compatible in the end,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: it's like I had we both had enough information and
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: we both had shared and poured our hearts out enough
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: to like have true closure if that's what that was
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: going to be. But um I did. I still felt
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: that love for Clayton, and I just saw how big
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: his heart truly was, and um yeah, it's like I
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: didn't stop loving him as a person when we left Iceland,
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: but I actively made the decision to take steps back
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: for myself. I was like, this isn't this may not
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: be good for me, and I'm going to do my
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: due diligence to figure that out. Before I commit to anything.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: So yes, he was kind of uh saying that I
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: actually I really understand where he's coming from, because that's
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: where you come to you have that respect for somebody
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: of like if this is gonna hurt you, like maybe
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: it would be good for me to have that friendship
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: and that bond, but if it's going to hurt him
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: and pain him, then I have to respect that boundary.
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: And we had that conversation and then later down the road,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: you know, we went we did we've we've had a
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: blast and to know each other and dating, well secretly dating,
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: but we did have a conversation later where Clayton was
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: kind of like, I, you know, I just kind of
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: need to know like where are you at um, like
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: and if you're not, if you don't see a future
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: with me, then like let me go. And when he
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: said that, that was such a light bulb moment for
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: me because I was still I was like fighting myself
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: as like I want to be with him, but like
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: this was just so such a heavy experience that we
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: both have said at different times like it would be
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: so much easier to cut ties and go our separate
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: ways because we wouldn't have to fight through like the
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: challenges of a long distance relationship, of coming off of
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: such a heavy show and everything. We both acknowledge that
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: it could have been quote unquote easier. But when he
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: said that, like I was like, I can't let you go,
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Like I can't see I can't see my life without
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: you at this point, like I want you to be
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: a part of my life. And so it was that
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: point that I made the active position of like, okay,
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: like I'm in this now, like I'm we're gonna do
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: this and we're going to give it a shot. I
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: hate that I have to let you guys go. Now.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I have like forty more minutes of questions just real quick.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: How how did um you finangle him to move to Virginia?
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: That's my homestay as well. Oh yeah, I know, like
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: northern Virginia right right, Yeah, come down for a beach
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: day this summer maybe, Yes, how did you do that? Yeah?
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: He was really open minded to it. I kind of
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: we talked about that on the show, that he was
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: open to moving. He was ready to uproot and go
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: where his heart was going to take him. So he's
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: he was easily convinced, actually not even convinced he was
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: just down. He just offered it himself. Yeah, he was like, hey,
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: I'm living. I was like, oy, okay, hold on alighting.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: We're happy for you guys. After all that you've gone through,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: you deserve to enjoy each other now. So yeah, I
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: have a great day once this is all over all
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: the interviews, Thank you, go have some fun date nights
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: out in public without having to hide. We're so ready,
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: too excited for it. Yeah all right, you guys, very sweet.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: Talk to you soon. Thank you so much for being here.
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: By followed the Benn and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: on I Heart Radio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.