Latest / Look Who's Talking / Jerome Thompson - Father Engagement/Involvement

Transcript

Jerome Thompson - Father Engagement/Involvement · Look Who's Talking

0:00
You are listening to Look Who's Talking.
0:18
This is a show designed for Head Start parents.
0:23
I am Cameron Minter.
0:24
I am your co-host and our host is none other than Jessica Coffee.
0:30
Good morning, Jessica.
0:31
Good morning, everyone.
0:32
How are you?
0:33
I'm good, Cam.
0:34
How are you?
0:35
I am fantastic.
0:36
Just so the listeners can know, I'm in my cowboy hat today.
0:41
Today, Beyonce's cowboy card have dropped.
0:46
And I'm in my cowboy country music vibe.
0:49
Oh, yes, yes, yes.
0:51
For those that want to see the video, it'll be dropping very soon.
0:55
She is looking fabulous on the show.
0:59
So with all that being said, that means you've already bought the album.
1:02
Oh, yes, already down.
1:03
You know what?
1:04
It dropped at midnight.
1:05
I know.
1:06
So you already got it.
1:07
I accidentally fell asleep on the couch watching basketball, woke up at 1230 and said, self
1:13
and myself said, huh, girl, go down with that album.
1:17
And that's what I did.
1:19
And your thoughts?
1:20
I haven't listened to it yet.
1:22
Wow.
1:23
Wow.
1:24
It's all about the fanfare.
1:25
That's all it's about.
1:26
That's all it's about.
1:27
I'm waiting.
1:28
I want to hear her rendition of Jolene by Dolly Parton.
1:36
And there's a song on there called Dolly, I think.
1:38
So Dolly P. I want to hear that.
1:43
So there's newfound interest in support of country music.
1:48
You know, there's some little country I like working nine to 1230.
1:52
I wasn't talking about you.
1:53
I was talking about Beyonce.
1:57
What do you mean?
1:59
She is not a country artist.
2:00
Well, she's not.
2:01
OK, there we go.
2:02
However, she did explain why she did a country album.
2:05
Please be quiet.
2:06
Don't come for me.
2:07
I was just saying.
2:08
I'm just trying to be serious.
2:09
She's not a country artist.
2:10
Listen.
2:11
So.
2:12
I was going to tell you if you feeling froggy, jump.
2:15
No, I'm not.
2:16
No, no.
2:17
I saw it all on your face.
2:18
I was like, no, no, I don't want no heat.
2:20
I don't want no heat.
2:21
Yeah.
2:22
You know what?
2:23
She created this album because they would not let her in the room to speak when I think
2:30
she did the Country Music Awards and she got a lot of hatred then.
2:35
Wow.
2:36
So she was like, you know what?
2:37
I'm going to do my own.
2:38
Let's do it.
2:39
Yeah.
2:40
OK.
2:41
Because you're not going to tell me I can't do what I want to do.
2:43
Yeah.
2:44
Well, let's get it in.
2:45
I think it's going to be good.
2:47
But I did hear the first.
2:49
What is it?
2:51
Single?
2:52
Yeah.
2:53
16 carriages.
2:54
Oh, I don't need to know.
2:56
Or.
2:57
Yeah.
2:58
The other one.
2:59
Oh, there's two of them.
3:00
Yeah.
3:01
OK.
3:02
I didn't know.
3:03
There's two that dropped.
3:04
Super Bowl.
3:05
Right after the Super Bowl.
3:06
OK.
3:07
Yeah.
3:08
That's how she's doing it.
3:09
I mean, you.
3:10
I have no doubt she's going to be successful.
3:11
I know you don't care for Beyonce.
3:12
No, I don't.
3:13
I don't.
3:14
But I have no doubt she'll be successful.
3:15
That's that part.
3:16
That's the part that matters.
3:17
Right.
3:18
What else has been up with you?
3:19
Slow motion.
3:20
You know, this is also a holy week.
3:22
I know this is this is Beyonce's drop, but there's also a holy week.
3:27
So for me, it's a busy week.
3:30
Yes.
3:31
On Friday.
3:32
See, don't start.
3:33
Don't start.
3:34
Because I'll go there.
3:35
I love Beyonce, but I love Jesus.
3:39
Come on.
3:40
Come on.
3:41
See, there you go.
3:42
So I think now it is time for a coffee break.
3:48
OK.
3:50
OK.
3:52
Today, I want to let everyone know your smile is your logo.
4:03
Your personality is your business card and the way you make others feel is your trademark.
4:11
Don't forget that you are a walking business card.
4:16
How you make others feel, how you portray yourself is being perceived.
4:21
So make sure you share the light, especially in dark rooms.
4:25
I like that ending about people, how you make people feel.
4:31
People will forget what you say, but they will not forget how you made them feel.
4:35
That part.
4:36
You know, and so being conscious and being intentional about.
4:41
Pouring into people's lives is important.
4:45
And it's the only thing that really matters.
4:47
You know what I'm saying?
4:49
So that's a wonderful inspirational word for today.
4:53
I like it.
4:54
Yeah, I like it too.
4:56
All right.
4:57
I know some of our listeners are listening for the head start highlight word of the day,
5:03
but you're going to have to keep listening.
5:05
We'll talk about that later.
5:06
You are going to have to keep listening.
5:08
Keep listening.
5:09
Keep listening.
5:10
All right.
5:11
We have a wonderful guest in the building today.
5:16
Who is here today?
5:18
Okay.
5:20
I would like to introduce to you all today, Jerome Thompson.
5:24
He, you know what?
5:26
I don't even know how we met.
5:28
It was through, I think Theo, one of the center managers here at Community Action.
5:34
I have just a heart to get fathers involved, and you know, Brian, who was on the show earlier,
5:44
kind of helped us begin to really pour into our fathers.
5:49
And Jerome here has a fatherhood conference in South Carolina.
5:55
Myrtle Beach.
5:56
Myrtle Beach.
5:58
And it's one of the biggest fatherhood conferences around.
6:03
So I wanted him to be able to come to Kentucky and pour into our fathers and our staff.
6:11
Absolutely.
6:12
Absolutely.
6:13
Welcome to the show.
6:14
How are you doing this morning?
6:16
I'm doing fantastic.
6:17
But one thing, if I had known this was Cowgirl Day, I would have wanted, you know, my cowboy,
6:24
you know, I almost came to Kentucky with a cowboy boots on my head.
6:30
And as I was stepping out, my mom said, where you going?
6:33
I said, well, I'm going to Kentucky.
6:34
You know, they got cowboys and horses up there.
6:37
But if I had known, I would have been having a cowboy hat on.
6:39
I would have been just like this Jessica here this morning.
6:42
I would have had my hat rocking this morning.
6:44
Then I would have felt out of place.
6:46
But ironically, me and you are together.
6:48
And really, she is too.
6:50
But she got this cowboy hat on.
6:53
We all dressed in black.
6:54
We all dressed in black.
6:55
Yeah.
6:56
We're rocking this morning.
6:57
It's a black day today.
6:58
But getting back to the fatherhood, we are the only grassroot conference that deals with
7:05
fathers in the country right now.
7:06
And we're probably in South Carolina.
7:09
That is awesome.
7:10
That is awesome.
7:11
So you are speaking to, you're pouring into a lot of our men and some of our staff while
7:19
you're here.
7:20
And it's just a pleasure to have you here.
7:22
We've talked a little bit off air.
7:25
And I'm just anxious to hear what you got to say.
7:28
Well, I've been in this fatherhood game for a long time.
7:32
And what folks don't understand is this has been a national push since 1995.
7:39
It goes back to President Clinton when he wanted to get fathers involved in their children
7:43
and communities.
7:44
So one thing the Head Start does is it provides that opportunity with the things that we offer
7:49
in Head Start and our community action to empower our fathers.
7:54
Yes, yes.
7:55
That's very important.
7:58
Jessica, I want to clear up something.
8:00
Jessica has a heart for fathers, but she loves mothers too.
8:03
Oh, yes.
8:04
I love mothers and we are going to be coming out with a lot of father and mother focused
8:15
events and activities.
8:17
So mothers, you are not left out.
8:19
However, today is all about the dads.
8:21
That's what.
8:22
What?
8:23
It's all about dads.
8:27
And you know what?
8:29
When I think of fathers, when I think of dads, of course, I think of my own.
8:35
He's always been there.
8:37
I've always known him.
8:39
He's always been in the house.
8:40
Your daddy girl.
8:41
I'm definitely a daddy's girl.
8:44
I call him before I call my mom and tell him because he's going to feed into my extramus.
8:51
He's going to be like, my hand hurt.
8:55
He's going to be like, well, did you go to the doctor?
8:58
Whereas my mom is like, well, what you calling me for?
9:01
You four hours away.
9:02
What am I supposed to do?
9:06
But you know, I want to know, like, how did you become so geared in or focused into wanting
9:16
to educate other fathers about, you know, just being a father?
9:22
Well, I had a great father.
9:25
My father took over as a scoutmaster when my scoutmaster passed away.
9:31
So we didn't have any place to go.
9:32
So my dad said, hey, I'll fill in.
9:34
My dad's a coach.
9:35
He's a football coach, basketball coach.
9:37
Matter of fact, he's he's kind of picked up all the kids in the neighborhood.
9:42
I want to get back to something that was mentioned a few minutes ago about you being a daddy's
9:45
girl.
9:46
So one thing we're having at our conference, we got a workshop called Daddy's Little Girl.
9:51
And I would notice on Sunday on Saturday night, I would be at the gas station.
9:55
I would see the transition from kids going back to dads and vice versa.
10:01
So at his start on Monday morning, when some of the little girls came in, their hair was
10:05
wack.
10:06
But daddy couldn't fix it.
10:08
So one of our workshops is called Daddy's Little Girl.
10:11
And we're going to have some stylists come in and actually show these guys how to do
10:15
their little girls.
10:16
That's perfect.
10:17
That's perfect.
10:18
So that's one of our key things that we're going to do.
10:22
We're going to have live models.
10:24
We've got some individuals that are going to allow guys to experiment on the head.
10:28
We have the little my person that was telling me she said these are mannequins.
10:33
I said, no, these are wig heads.
10:36
You know, and she said, no, these are mannequins.
10:38
I said mannequins to a man is a tall thing.
10:40
The little thing here, we just called it as a wig head.
10:43
So that goes back to that conversation about me and the women communicating.
10:49
But getting back to how I got to where I'm passionate about this father is I had a situation
10:56
where a dad called me one night and I had been having a conversation with him quite
11:00
a bit.
11:01
And he called me one night.
11:02
He said, hey, I'm about to kill myself.
11:06
I said, why?
11:07
Me and my lady, we have some problems.
11:09
I said, you about to get yourself over your lady.
11:12
You know, did time.
11:14
You've been you've you've spent most of your life incarcerated.
11:17
You made it out.
11:18
Mm hmm.
11:19
You're successful in your business.
11:21
So I said, OK, I hung up.
11:25
He called back.
11:26
He said, what you hang up for?
11:27
I said, if you're going to do this right, let's do it right.
11:30
I said, instead of you taking some pills, let's go jump off the bridge.
11:34
Call me back.
11:35
He said, you know, you're a cold sob.
11:37
I said, guess what?
11:40
He said, what?
11:41
I said, you're alive this morning.
11:42
That's right.
11:43
I said, all it took for you to sit back and think about what I told you is that you have
11:47
gone way beyond.
11:48
Yeah.
11:49
You're going to have a relationship problem.
11:50
Right.
11:51
Right.
11:52
And nine times out of ten was your fault anyway.
11:55
I said, you're going to let that mess up your life, your kids and everything.
12:01
So with that experience, I'm like, wow, we've got a lot of brothers out here that are hurting
12:06
on a day by day basis that nobody really knows about.
12:09
And one thing about this father of conference, men are going to be in an atmosphere where
12:13
they're going to be nudged.
12:14
You're not going to be judged.
12:15
Yeah.
12:16
A non-judged men on atmosphere.
12:18
So when that opens up, the possibilities of what's going to happen is great and phenomenal.
12:23
Absolutely.
12:24
Right.
12:25
Absolutely.
12:26
That's powerful right there.
12:27
But, you know, it's funny because fathers, men, we're not the nurturers.
12:35
We're the ones that give you that tough love.
12:38
And I love seeing men communicate with each other because it's so different than when
12:44
women, you know what I'm saying?
12:47
Women will be like, oh, well, don't do that.
12:49
Let's talk about blah.
12:50
You was like, OK, click.
12:53
And it's a different way that we communicate because it cuts out all the games.
13:01
It cuts out all the fluff.
13:03
You know, we're getting down to the meat.
13:05
And, you know, yeah, to survive what you've survived, to go out like that.
13:10
Exactly.
13:11
Yeah.
13:12
That's not even.
13:13
You know what, while you were telling this story, I was thinking ahead and be like, oh,
13:19
you're going to tell him to stay on the phone.
13:21
He's on his way.
13:22
Right, right, right.
13:23
Because that's what I would have done.
13:24
Click.
13:25
Right, right.
13:26
Think about this.
13:30
When you're having a conversation with your significant other or so forth and she hangs
13:35
the phone up on you.
13:36
Hold up.
13:37
Hold up.
13:38
Hold up.
13:39
Wait a minute.
13:40
Right.
13:41
That's his attitude.
13:42
Like, hold up.
13:43
This brother just hung up on me.
13:44
Call him back.
13:45
OK.
13:46
So what I did was I cut that thought off.
13:48
Right.
13:49
And by me hanging up on him, I just told him I'm about to do something serious in my life.
13:53
This brother hung up on me.
13:54
Right.
13:55
So the mindset got changed.
13:56
Right.
13:57
The mindset got to hold up.
13:58
Wait a minute.
13:59
Why?
14:00
Whoa, why?
14:01
And just by that moment, it brought him back to reality.
14:06
Yeah, absolutely.
14:07
Because he was someplace he didn't need to be.
14:08
Right.
14:09
Because, like I said, it's your fault, bro.
14:12
Right.
14:13
But the best thing about it was you wasn't going there with him.
14:16
You weren't going there with him.
14:18
Hey, we're going to take a quick commercial break and when we come back, we're going to
14:23
talk more with Jerome Thompson.
14:26
You're listening to Look Who's Talking.
14:40
This past year has highlighted the strength of Community Action Council.
14:44
Every day, our staff works together to help families recover from this crisis.
14:48
We're educating children at home and in person, helping parents who lost their jobs, and helping
14:54
households avoid eviction.
14:56
Our work at Community Action Council has never been more important than it is right now,
15:00
so why not join us?
15:01
We have employment opportunities requiring a range of skills from entry level to advanced.
15:07
Apply online at commaction.org.
15:13
Community Action Council operates the low-income home energy assistance crisis program during
15:17
the coldest winter months to help qualifying households with a home heating emergency.
15:22
Some examples are a utility disconnect notice or having an eviction notice if utilities
15:26
are included in monthly rent.
15:30
LIHEAP crisis appointments are available now on a first-come, first-serve basis.
15:35
Funding is intended to cover the minimum needed to resolve the heating crisis and cannot exceed
15:39
$400 for gas or electricity.
15:44
Qualifying households can reapply during the program period as long as funding is available
15:48
until they reach the $400 maximum benefit.
15:51
A full list of eligibility criteria along with a convenient way to schedule an appointment
15:55
is available on our website, comaction.org, by clicking the utility assistance scheduler
16:01
button or by calling 859-300-6960.
16:10
Community Action Council's Prep Academies have openings in their Early Head Start program
16:14
for children ages 6 weeks to 3 years old.
16:17
Spaces are filling up, so now is the time to apply for the upcoming school year.
16:21
Every child who enrolls receives a full scholarship for the entire school year.
16:24
To get connected and ensure your young child gets a head start on their education, call
16:28
Community Action Council at 859-233-4600.
16:31
You can also find Community Action Council online at comaction.org.
16:37
You are listening to Look Who's Talking.
16:59
I was still too good.
17:03
You almost did it.
17:04
Look Who's Talking.
17:06
We are here with Jerome Thompson and we are talking, this show is geared all towards fathers,
17:13
but I want to say this.
17:15
The word of the day.
17:17
The Head Start, highlight word of the day is.
17:21
Purpose.
17:22
You heard it here first, purpose.
17:26
You know, those phones get what you need to do.
17:28
You know what to do.
17:29
Back to the show, Jerome.
17:32
All right.
17:33
Dropping knowledge.
17:34
He is dropping knowledge.
17:37
I'm just trying to soak it in.
17:40
What I want to ask you is, within the world of Head Start, we talk about engagement and
17:47
involvement.
17:48
What's the difference between father involvement and father engagement?
17:52
Okay.
17:53
Father engagement is actually when you have that child with you and you are interacting
17:57
into a process or an activity or a learning, it really should be a learning environment
18:05
where the dad is teaching the child as well as children teach dads.
18:09
Because if you got a hands on activity, men are hands on.
18:13
So if you got a hands on activity that fathers can get engaged with their child, that's that
18:18
engagement piece.
18:19
Right.
18:20
And when you are talking about father involvement, that can go two ways.
18:23
When we have our men engaged in an activity, just men, you know, we are talking about involvement.
18:29
We get those fathers involved in a process to get back to engagement.
18:33
So that engagement is definitely important because when you have that dad, I'm going
18:39
to say dad, significant others, because everybody at the center, that may not be his dad, but
18:43
he is that child.
18:44
Exactly.
18:45
He is that child, male role model that he sees in the household.
18:50
So sometimes we have to be careful when we say dad because everybody, that male is not
18:57
always the dad in the house, but he is the pillar at that time.
19:01
Exactly.
19:02
So when that engagement piece come in, that's that one on one.
19:06
Even if you are at the Head Start Center, it's still a one on one thing.
19:09
And actually what happened is those other kids and those other fathers see the engagement
19:14
piece.
19:15
Sometimes we want to imitate what we see.
19:17
So one dad may not be good at one thing, but he may see another father and he is going
19:22
to do the same thing because he wants his child to be a part of what's going on at the
19:27
time.
19:28
What's the importance for men being around other men and creating a space for that to
19:36
happen?
19:37
For men to be around other men is almost like a team.
19:42
So when men are around other men, they can actually have a men's conversation.
19:47
We can drop all of the fluff.
19:48
There you go, the fluff.
19:52
We can't be judgmental on what a guy says or what he does not say because what we want
19:56
you to do is we want you to pull your heart out because your problem may have been a problem
20:00
that I've already fixed and I can help you with that.
20:03
When men are among each other, they're actually serving as mentors for each other.
20:08
Sometimes they don't even know that they've been a mentor because I was at a situation
20:12
last night here in Lexington where there are a group of men supporting one another.
20:19
By supporting one another, you never knew who was at the table.
20:22
You'd be surprised who was at the table when you're having a conversation.
20:26
With our Head Start dads, we never know who's at the table when they bring the kids in.
20:32
I had a situation where this dad, he was always at the Head Start Center in the morning to
20:37
noon and then he was judged because, why you in here?
20:41
Why you in at work?
20:42
The brother worked third shift.
20:44
He took the time to be with his child as much as he could to 12 o'clock.
20:48
When he came in during, he was a construction worker.
20:51
But he came in and he was a faithful father and I told the staff, I says, judge him not
20:58
because you don't know anything about him.
21:00
That's true.
21:01
That's one thing we can't do in Head Start is that we can't assume.
21:03
That's right.
21:04
I'm going to talk about that today.
21:05
We can't assume just by appearances because I found out that some of our most wealthiest
21:12
people mentally, not with finance, mentally are folks that are misjudged.
21:18
That's it.
21:19
Yep.
21:20
That's it.
21:21
Now, Jerome, do you have any children of your own?
21:22
No, I don't.
21:23
I don't have any kids.
21:24
So what would put, oh, go ahead.
21:25
Yeah.
21:26
But I'm going to put two through college.
21:27
Ah, well, look at that.
21:28
Okay.
21:29
So yeah.
21:30
Yeah.
21:31
Yeah.
21:32
I have a niece and a nephew.
21:33
Yeah.
21:34
That have been around me most of them.
21:38
Matter of fact, this true story.
21:41
I kept my niece from my sister.
21:44
We lit up in the bed.
21:46
I'm drinking coffee.
21:47
Baby drinking coffee.
21:48
Mama comes in.
21:49
What is going on?
21:50
We drinking coffee.
21:51
You don't get baby's coffee.
21:52
I said, look at me.
21:53
I drink coffee when I was a baby.
21:54
Look at me.
21:55
Ain't nothing wrong with it.
21:56
And then she went to, she said, my baby, wait.
21:57
I said, I just changed it.
21:58
She said, baby, wait.
21:59
I said, I just changed it.
22:00
She said, boy, the thing's on backwards.
22:07
You know, so I'm learning right there on the spot.
22:09
So I kept wondering why she kept trying to pull the little thing off.
22:12
Right.
22:13
Right.
22:14
What's wrong?
22:15
I said, what's the difference?
22:16
The back looked like the front to me.
22:17
You know, so I've had that experience as to take them to the doctor.
22:20
Yeah.
22:21
Having a conversation with the young man.
22:23
He had a situation, a health situation.
22:25
And I said, hey, he said, I can't talk to mama.
22:28
So we'll come up, we need to talk about this.
22:30
So we had a conversation and I just told him, being his health, and I'm going to talk about
22:34
that, being health is very important.
22:37
We got to take care of ourselves.
22:38
Absolutely.
22:39
Because we don't.
22:40
We don't.
22:41
So a healthy father is a healthy family.
22:43
That's it.
22:44
Amen.
22:45
That's it.
22:46
So, you know, I am a product.
22:48
Well, I have a blended family as well.
22:51
So but they're mine.
22:54
They're mine.
22:55
And it's interesting in knowing the things that shape us, you know, and for me, like
23:00
personally, the some of the things that I went through as a child, I didn't want on
23:05
my children.
23:07
So I fathered out of that, you know what I'm saying?
23:13
My father was he was around, but he wasn't engaged or involved.
23:21
And so one of the things that I am seriously pouring into my children and my grandchildren
23:28
is being there, not just as provider, you know what I'm saying, but as, you know, caretaker
23:36
as someone, you know, can lean on and depend on.
23:40
And, you know, I was looking at a little video this morning of fathers going to their kids
23:45
events and how the kid responds to seeing their father.
23:50
Yeah.
23:51
Now, mama's there 24 seven, right?
23:53
But when dad shows up, it's like, oh, my God, he's here, you know.
23:57
And so that's important and important to our children is being there.
24:02
Yeah.
24:03
Oh, I was blessed with both my parents in the home and my dad, he would come home in
24:09
the afternoon.
24:10
And one thing we would do is a day never read to me except the rule book for sports.
24:18
That's the only book my dad ever read to me because he was a sports fanatic.
24:23
But he would come home in the afternoon.
24:26
And if it was dependent on the season, when he got home, if it was baseball, we had the
24:30
baseball bat waiting on day.
24:31
And all he did was drop his bag down and kept it moving.
24:34
You know, he knew maybe you're not going to come and say hey, baby, he keep on going.
24:38
I got them got the boys.
24:39
And what happened is we went to the field, then all the other kids and they put came.
24:43
So I was blessed with a father that they care for me.
24:47
My dad made sure that the when I play football, he made sure that the family right.
24:52
I'm talking about in the household.
24:54
I'm talking about grandma, cousin.
24:57
We go into the football game.
24:58
We're going to the game.
24:59
Yeah, it means so much.
25:00
Yeah.
25:01
And what's so funny is when I played football, and I could hear my mom up in this crowd.
25:06
I don't hear my baby.
25:09
I could hear her above all everybody else.
25:12
So a mom knows her baby and just like a child knows his parents.
25:16
But one thing I would like parents to understand is access question of the kids.
25:22
Parents always tell the kids.
25:24
I know what I want from you.
25:26
Hmm.
25:27
Sometimes wrong.
25:28
Yeah.
25:29
But here's the question.
25:30
Parents need to ask the child.
25:31
What do you expect out of me?
25:33
That's good.
25:34
That's good.
25:35
I was I was going for it.
25:36
I thought he was going to say, what do you want out of you?
25:41
No, what do you want out of my church?
25:43
You need to ask your child, what do you expect out of me?
25:47
Because sometimes, you know, I'm doing this and that for you and them.
25:50
But mama, daddy, that ain't what I wanted to do.
25:53
Right.
25:54
What do you want to do?
25:55
I want to do this.
25:56
Why you gonna tell me?
25:57
Because you don't listen.
25:58
OK.
25:59
Parents always have a game plan for the children.
26:03
But now you got to change that around and say, hey, everybody's not meant for school.
26:08
Right.
26:09
We got some kids out here that are skilled at other things.
26:11
That's it.
26:12
If your baby's saying like Beyonce, I'm for saying.
26:15
16, KJ.
26:16
Here we go.
26:17
Here we go.
26:18
Don't do it.
26:19
Don't do it.
26:20
So that's advice I would give to parents is have that question.
26:24
And they're going to be shocked when your kid tell them.
26:27
Right.
26:28
What do you expect out of me?
26:29
What do you want from me?
26:30
Right.
26:31
So but that never happens because most of that with parents, this is one way conversation.
26:35
Yeah.
26:36
Right.
26:37
You know, one thing I love about Head Start Air is we're trying to teach the kids how
26:41
to teach the families how to have conversations with the kids.
26:45
So knowing the conversations that we have in the classroom.
26:49
And let me say this, parents and parent figures, your kids are telling your business.
26:55
Let me say that.
26:57
So they know how to have the conversations in the classroom.
27:02
And that's what we want to spill over when they go home.
27:06
That's why we do that whole two generational approach.
27:09
The whole family matters.
27:11
And we're trying to provide something as children we didn't have because baby, my mama and daddy,
27:19
I love them.
27:20
God knows I love them.
27:22
And God knows I do.
27:24
But it's hard to have conversations, especially serious conversations with them.
27:30
And that's something that we want our Head Start kids to have.
27:34
And not only that, can you talk on, you know, not every child grows up with their either
27:44
mom or dad or in the same household.
27:50
Can you talk a little bit about how parents can get on the same spectrum of let's get,
27:58
whether it's get along for the kid or be at least nice to each other.
28:04
So because the kids see that interaction, those interactions.
28:09
And one thing kids don't do, they don't lie.
28:11
They will, like you say, they'll tell you business.
28:14
One thing sometimes is when I have both of those individuals together, I pose this one
28:19
question to them.
28:21
This is your all product.
28:23
How did it get here?
28:25
At one time, there was something you saw in her.
28:27
And at one time, there's something you saw in her.
28:31
So y'all this came about.
28:33
So why can't we take that little time that you guys were in a loving atmosphere or in
28:40
a atmosphere that was connected?
28:42
Why can't we bring this back together just for a moment, just for a moment where the
28:46
child can be happy?
28:48
Because a happy child is a product of a happy mother and father.
28:52
So if they can just see that and kids understand that I got to go back over here today or I
28:58
got to go back over to mom.
28:59
But why live together?
29:00
Let's do like the ladies in Walmart.
29:03
Let's fake it till we make it.
29:06
When they walk in the Walmart, they be, how you doing?
29:09
They glad to see you.
29:11
You know what they say when you're walking out.
29:13
But just that appearance at the moment, kids see everything.
29:17
And they would just love to see those two people just for a moment having a good time.
29:23
Or then that baby, he says, you know, that child, I'm feeling, my mom and daddy like
29:27
each other.
29:28
But like I said, it just take one moment for the child.
29:32
You know, that child wants to be happy.
29:34
So those parents have to, but it don't always work that way.
29:38
Right.
29:39
Sometimes, you know, at Head Start, we are the mediator.
29:41
Yeah.
29:42
You know, although it's not our responsibility, but we try to do what's best for the child.
29:45
Right.
29:46
So if we can get those parents to come into the building together, I'm going to say something
29:54
crazy.
29:55
Leave home, girl.
29:56
Home.
29:57
Because she ain't got your baby.
29:59
I know what I'm talking about.
30:02
Leave your, leave your side piece there.
30:05
What?
30:06
OK.
30:07
This your baby.
30:08
This your baby mom.
30:09
Right.
30:10
Respect her.
30:11
That's right.
30:12
That's right.
30:13
Yeah.
30:14
That's some good advice.
30:16
Because the only one that is suffering is your child.
30:21
Exactly.
30:22
And so, no matter what you do, good or bad, you're pouring into your child.
30:29
And so it's more important that we focus on those things that are going to give my child
30:35
a step above others to get, you know, instead of pouring on my child, let me pour into my
30:44
child.
30:45
And those are some some wonderful ways of just communication, you know, and the deal
30:51
is done.
30:52
We're not going to be together, but we're going to be together forever with this child.
30:56
Exactly.
30:57
Yeah.
30:58
So what you got?
31:00
What's some?
31:01
Give me some.
31:02
I'm going to put you on the spot.
31:04
Give me three things that are going to take away from the conversation that you're going
31:07
to have later today with some teachers.
31:09
OK.
31:10
Or some staff.
31:11
One is communication.
31:13
Because we communicate different.
31:14
Being in the females community, we communicate different.
31:17
Really?
31:18
And one thing that that head start is 98.999 percent female.
31:24
You say that again.
31:27
Yeah, and me and our minority staff.
31:31
So it's rough being a man in the world.
31:40
It's rough being a man in his dog.
31:44
So we're going to talk about today is how to communicate.
31:48
You know, the dudes in the dumps don't assume the second piece is attitude.
31:54
See me pick up attitude real quick.
31:55
Little bobblehead thing.
31:57
All right.
31:58
I ain't got to be bothered with her.
31:59
Right.
32:00
I know where she going.
32:01
Right.
32:02
You know, again, I'm going to go back to this thing I just said.
32:04
Fake it till you make it.
32:05
Because see, we feel that negativity.
32:08
And sometimes the other thing that we want to cover with staff is that let's do a self
32:14
assessment of ourselves.
32:16
OK.
32:17
So if I know that me and my boo ain't getting along.
32:22
I know me and that daddy coming in.
32:26
We don't get along either because I already got a wall up because my boo bad, you bad
32:32
too.
32:33
That's it.
32:34
But everybody bad.
32:36
So when we do that self assessment, let's leave that baggage at home.
32:41
When you walk through the door, put a smile on your face.
32:45
Be civil.
32:46
Turn that head and be a new person.
32:48
Right.
32:49
Because if not, all I want to do is come in, drop my baby off and keep it moving.
32:53
Because I ain't got time to be fooling with civil.
32:57
And that's what happens at some of our programs.
33:01
So that's the point we want to get across to staff today is communication, how to communicate,
33:08
attitude.
33:09
And then we talked about purpose.
33:13
And before we wrap up, I just want to say this about me and health.
33:18
You've got to, health don't start when you get old.
33:22
Start taking care of yourself when you're young.
33:26
When you're in your 20s, when you're in your late teens.
33:29
Somebody needs to talk to young men about taking care of themselves as you move forward.
33:33
Not only physically, but mentally.
33:36
Men don't handle stress too well.
33:40
And sometimes professional help does not help hurt.
33:44
See you can't talk to your boys about something because that's what they going to tell you.
33:49
And you don't worry about that.
33:50
Keep it moving.
33:51
But sometimes that's not the best advice.
33:53
Right.
33:54
Know who's in your circle.
33:55
Because the people in your circle can dictate which direction that you're going to go.
33:59
That's true.
34:01
That's good.
34:02
I love that, especially with health.
34:06
Because I think it's between the ages of around 21 to 34, that's when men or more men contemplate
34:17
suicide or harming themselves.
34:21
And having that outlet or having that space to say, hey, it's okay for you to seek help.
34:28
It's okay to be in a small group and us talk.
34:33
But guess what?
34:35
I have a therapist.
34:38
Making those environments conducive to being able to really be transparent.
34:44
Because I'm a lady.
34:47
I don't think men are transparent.
34:49
But I don't know what y'all talk about when y'all with each other.
34:53
But hopefully there are environments that create that support and just transparency
35:01
of, hey, this is what we're going through.
35:04
I've been there before.
35:06
And men are good at disguising their personal feelings.
35:10
Men have always been taught that these are things that you can't show in public.
35:16
And sometimes it is a downfall for us because we got so much going on inside that we're
35:23
just carrying a lot of stress.
35:27
Stress is a killer.
35:28
And once you can let that release, this is a true story.
35:33
I did a training.
35:35
And it was called Men Supporting Men.
35:39
And we were just, I had about a 24-slide presentation.
35:43
We were talking about suicide.
35:46
And three brothers got up and said, I've been there.
35:49
And the whole thing just stopped because folks wanted to know what happened.
35:53
One guy talked about it.
35:55
He said to everybody, he says, I am glad to have been able to talk about this.
36:00
He said, because I feel release.
36:04
I've been holding this around for five years and not been able to talk to anybody about
36:09
it.
36:10
But now I can walk out this room because I have just lifted a birding off my shoulder.
36:16
I was able to talk to somebody about this, a group of men that didn't judge me.
36:20
And then I had some other men in the room that's been the same place that I was.
36:24
So you just don't know how that made that whole, what's the song?
36:30
There's a sweet spirit in this place.
36:33
It was a sweet spirit in this place when that guy got up.
36:37
And he really testified that this is why I did this.
36:42
Men don't leave their children.
36:45
They leave the situation.
36:46
Wherever it may be, they leave the situation because I have a lot of conversation about
36:51
men who have kids that my daddy left me.
36:54
There was a reason.
36:56
Some were good, some were bad.
36:58
But all of them weren't bad.
37:00
Some had to leave for particular reasons, protect the family.
37:04
So I have those conversations with a lot of fathers and I was surprised to find out that
37:09
they didn't leave because they didn't want to be bothered with their kids.
37:12
They left for other reasons.
37:14
Unemployment, messed up and crazy stuff.
37:18
Family was first.
37:20
But men, health, I'm all over the place because this is passion for me.
37:25
Men, health is very important.
37:28
And a traumatic experience in your life with a health situation will change your whole
37:33
attitude with life.
37:34
That's right.
37:35
And mental health is very important.
37:37
And more and more there is a freedom of dealing with it, expressing it.
37:45
And the taboo-ness of it has been pushed down.
37:50
I think COVID, if anything we can get out of COVID, it made it okay not to be okay.
37:55
And to seek help.
37:58
So yeah, that's powerful.
38:01
And not only mental but that physical health too because we act like we're not going to
38:08
go to the doctor and always rub some dirt on it.
38:14
Rubbing dirt on it don't always work.
38:16
You know what?
38:18
Let me be the female here.
38:20
That's one thing that drives us crazy.
38:22
Uh-oh.
38:23
Y'all are sick but you won't go to the doctor.
38:25
Go to the doctor.
38:26
Okay?
38:27
Go to the doctor.
38:31
If I feel dizzy, I'm like, doctor, can you take some blood?
38:35
And she'll be like, yes, just God will.
38:37
Right.
38:38
You know?
38:39
It's crazy.
38:40
Well, it's been such a joy having you on the show, man.
38:45
We really appreciate what you're doing.
38:47
She just made a comment about going to the doctor.
38:51
Get them.
38:52
It's just like when you ride in a car, when GPS, they turn right.
38:56
But what we do, we keep straight.
38:58
She don't know what she talking about.
39:01
Right.
39:02
Yeah, she got left out.
39:03
Y'all don't ask for directions either.
39:04
Yeah.
39:05
Those are just some characteristics of me.
39:08
Those are characteristics.
39:09
You don't listen to them.
39:10
You're serious, look at the way.
39:11
What's her name?
39:12
Can't you be talking?
39:13
We don't listen to her.
39:14
We ain't listen to her.
39:15
She don't know what I'm talking about.
39:16
She don't know my hood.
39:17
You talking about take a ride?
39:18
I know where I'm going.
39:19
You see that commercial where you're just like, yeah, yeah, she don't know what she
39:21
talking about.
39:22
There's a quick away.
39:23
She don't know what she talking about.
39:24
It's been a pleasure having you on the show.
39:28
We look forward to...
39:29
Amen.
39:30
Don't forget tomorrow.
39:31
Because I'm going to air this today.
39:33
Tomorrow, we are having our men's...
39:36
March Madness.
39:37
March Madness.
39:38
Yes.
39:39
And yeah, we're gonna have a good time.
39:42
Jerome's gonna be there, he's gonna talk to us
39:44
and we'll have some food and fun, so.
39:47
11 to 2 at Jack's Bar and Grill.
39:49
Come out and have a good time.
39:52
Look at you.
39:53
All right, that's the show you have been listening to.
39:56
Look who's talking.
39:58
Appreciate you being here, Jerome.
40:00
Enjoy it, myself.
40:01
difficile style bound比較弱勢