Latest / The Chris and Mike Show / #8 - Merry Christmas!!

Transcript

#8 - Merry Christmas!! · The Chris and Mike Show

0:01
And we're live. Ladies.
0:02
And gentlemen, we are live well. Well, you and I are live.
0:09
We're live. We're are live.
0:15
We are not Memorex. I like it.
0:21
I like that groove. I need to put some lyrics to
0:30
that that. 'D be awesome.
0:39
That's my that's my applause. Meter.
0:43
I'll see what I can do to up that.
0:48
So before we got on the air here, I was going through the
0:52
Nemesis archives, which I don't have a lot of, but apparently I
0:55
saved every clipping of every show we ever played.
0:58
Because I do have about 200 of those.
1:02
And I just recently had a conversation a friend of mine,
1:07
Tony Palmer, who's going to be a guest on this podcast and
1:11
unbeknownst to me. A guest on the podcast Tony
1:14
Palmer Palmer Palmer Palmer Palmer.
1:17
Unbeknownst to me, he played at a band called The Beat Angels,
1:21
and they gigged at the Mason Jar the same time we did.
1:24
Because on this billing right here that I hold in my hand is
1:29
the Beat Angels headlining a benefit the day before we
1:32
played. We're down here on Sunday, I
1:35
think. That or no, we're on Monday.
1:36
They were on Saturday. Sunday anyway.
1:40
It's crazy. I did not know him then.
1:43
And he became my assistant manager when I worked at Guitar
1:48
Center and that's how I know him.
1:50
So we were having a conversation about him being on the podcast
1:53
and he said I noticed you guys played at the Mason Jar or
1:57
something like that. Oh, he was commenting on one of
2:01
our threads and he said he played in a band called the Beat
2:05
Angels. And I said I remember that name,
2:07
but I had no idea that he was in the band.
2:09
So that's awesome. So we'll talk about our days
2:12
playing at the Mason Jar that was run by the Mighty Franco.
2:19
The mighty, mighty Franco. He was about 5. .2 Hey, it's
2:25
Tuesday, it's Tuesday, it's Tuesday.
2:28
Yeah, clogs, it's Tuesday. Did did you know that?
2:31
I did know that because you're here and I'm here, so that must
2:34
mean it's Tuesday. How's the how's my Internet
2:40
connection holding up? Are you hearing me in a timely
2:42
manner still? I'm hearing you.
2:45
I am hearing you just fine. Thank you.
2:48
Awesome, because that makes this a lot easier and more pleasant
2:52
for both of us. That's fine.
2:56
It clears up in the final product.
3:01
Nice. Have you happened upon any of
3:04
the podcast yet? Do you know what they look like?
3:08
I I I I listened and no way. And I laughed.
3:12
And it was fun. Awesome.
3:15
Yeah. Because you 2 count as a
3:17
listener. You know, on my little count
3:19
that I'm keeping track of. Oh.
3:21
Thank you. Thank.
3:22
You thank thank you to everyone that has gone over to Spotify
3:25
and followed us there. I have noticed the numbers
3:29
increasing and that helps us. It gives us Oh.
3:33
Right on. It gives us the exposure we need
3:36
to move on to the next stage. So you know, the better this
3:40
gets, the better product we can bring you.
3:42
All the world's a stage and we are many players.
3:46
We are merely players. Performers and portrayers.
3:50
It's about this audience. Yeah, right.
3:55
And you know what? That kind of segues in a weird
3:58
way, because it's like, what are we going to talk about today?
4:02
Then I remembered I told you, hey dude, we should talk about
4:05
drummers. Because, you know, drummers.
4:08
You can't have a band without a drummer.
4:11
I guess you could. Drummer You don't have to.
4:15
It would not be cool. And I put no.
4:19
And I had posted a picture because I was.
4:20
I was sprawling on the interweb the other day.
4:24
Well, when I'm Naked on my couch eating a block of cheese, I
4:30
don't eat cheese. Nor do I am allergic to dairy.
4:35
And I was like. I was like right, right.
4:38
Oh, you are. That's right.
4:39
I'm. I'm a dairy free by choice.
4:41
You're dairy free by birth. You would get along great on
4:44
tour, like just because of our, our dietary habits would be,
4:48
would be, you know, very fantastic.
4:51
Yes. Yep, the universe made me dairy
4:57
free. So yeah.
5:01
And I made myself dairy free. So drummers, if we just just
5:05
fucking dive right in. Drummers.
5:06
The greatest drummers of all time.
5:08
And there should be I I post this.
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I posted this question on on our Facebook page for you boys and
5:15
girls that don't know that we have a Facebook page called
5:17
Chris and Mike Show not the just Chris and Mike Show spelled out.
5:23
And is is a word, not a symbol. And I'm looking at the page
5:28
right now as we speak because that's the power of the
5:31
Internet. I said at some point in time,
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well, guess what, boys and girls, it's time.
5:37
Here we are. Unless you would talk about
5:39
something else, Mike, you know, do you feel like, I feel like I
5:41
kind of railroad sometimes? No, it's it's all good.
5:44
Man, so you know, I love debate with the great I I know, I know,
5:49
I know. So we're going to discuss who's
5:51
the greatest drummer of all time now.
5:52
I think in the top three you got to have Neil Pert, you got to
5:57
have John Bonham, you know, maybe Charlie Watts because he
6:04
was, he's known as a human metronome.
6:06
So he may not have been just like an insane over the top in
6:09
your face pounding drummer, but he was definitely just he he
6:15
kept the he while he was still alive because he's dead.
6:18
If he didn't know, he kept the entire band in time live.
6:24
Because we all know, I mean musicians know you and I know
6:26
this Mike that when you play live it's speed up, just natural
6:31
the energy you have. Even if it's never so slightly.
6:34
The adrenaline, right, Even just the adrenaline and that nervous
6:39
energy. Like, I was never nervous, but I
6:42
always had that nervous energy like let's get out there and and
6:45
you know that because I would pace, but Charlie Watts would
6:49
would keep them in check because they they really, they called
6:53
them the human metronome. I don't know who called them
6:54
that, but I remember hearing that and I was like, that's
6:56
brilliant because the metronome keeps everything steady and, you
6:59
know, in time and Charlie just had that innate ability to keep
7:04
everybody on the stones in check.
7:08
That is a. Very true.
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So that's and Rick Allen. OK.
7:11
Yeah, yeah, right. I'll agree with that.
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Go ahead. Elaborate, Mr. No, he's he can
7:16
be, you know, me. I can get like totally nerdy
7:19
about what are we trying to say is the best, you know, technical
7:24
ability, holding the band together.
7:27
Because if we're going to talk about one of the greatest
7:30
drummers of all time, you have to.
7:32
You have to throw Phil Rudd in there because ACDC is arguably
7:38
one of the tightest bands on earth.
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I've witnessed it with my own eyes and if they made a mistake,
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I never heard it. And they didn't really play up
7:49
tempo to the point where it was even hardly noticeable.
7:55
It was amazing at how precise their music really is.
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I'm going to agree with you, John Bonham, in my opinion.
8:02
Phil Rudd. Phil Yeah, Phil Rudd from ACDC.
8:06
Phil Phil Rudd, right? Correct.
8:10
When you look up ACDC, you're going to find a couple different
8:13
drummers. You're going to find Simon
8:14
Wright, You're going to find Phil Rudd.
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I think there was one more. But Simon Wright, what he was a,
8:20
he was a good drummer, but he ACD CS claim to fame is Phil
8:26
Rudd had a knack for what they call laying on the backbeat,
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even just an extra millisecond more.
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And what that does is it creates an anticipation in the listener
8:36
that they're unaware of. It's like your mind keeps
8:40
wanting something to happen that never happens because he's
8:43
dragging that beat ever so slightly and it just makes you
8:48
feel like, you know, it makes you feel the music, it's it
8:52
sucks. You in Bottom had that same
8:55
ability. And that's what I was about to
8:56
say is in my opinion, John Bottom is the greatest drummer
8:59
that ever lived because he was required to play so many
9:03
different styles of music. Florida State Led Zeppelin
9:07
wasn't just a rock band. They were a reggae band.
9:09
They were a country band. They were a bluegrass band.
9:13
They, I mean, they played so many styles of music and Jimmy
9:17
Page knew that the person that sat behind the kit had to be
9:20
somebody special. Not taking anything away from
9:22
Neil Pert, he technical ability. Neil Pert might be the best
9:30
drummer that ever lived. Technically, he he's a human
9:33
metronome. You want to talk about different
9:35
metronomes? That dude was amazing.
9:40
Right. And and and Pert and and bottom.
9:43
Two different completely styles. Like their styles are not the
9:46
same at all. Like no, you just you know what
9:48
I mean. And and and Pert was was more
9:55
than just a drummer. Right.
9:56
He was. He wrote the songs.
9:58
He wrote the lyrics. He was also a published author.
10:01
The guy was just had such an analytical mind and a brilliant
10:05
human being which I think goes in in line with with a drummer
10:10
because drummers have to be analytical.
10:12
They have to they just have to have that.
10:16
I mean you're sitting behind a drum kit and and you you know
10:19
it's it's it's not the most glamorous gig in the world and
10:22
and you're you're sitting down for an entire show, which I
10:25
could never do and you're banging on a drum set and that's
10:31
the cool thing about what that was.
10:33
The cool thing about Scott with Nemesis is that he he would
10:37
change the identity of a song with his drumming.
10:41
Like I would have a certain a certain melody in my head with
10:46
verse chorus. You and I would work on a guitar
10:49
and vocal and then all of a sudden we'd we'd you know then
10:51
Scott would come on it's like holy shit, like Intervention
10:53
Divine. He he took Intervention Divine,
10:56
one of our songs, to a whole new level that that I don't think
11:01
anybody could ever match again because it was that good what he
11:06
did to that song. He taught me so much about not
11:13
only composing, but he taught me so much about dynamics.
11:17
So what he did for you in changing how you thought about
11:22
melody and what you were going to do with a song, he did the
11:26
same for me in that he allowed me to develop layers of my
11:31
playing. So, you know, we would have what
11:35
I called actually, I stole it from Jimmy Page.
11:37
So we'll give credit where credit's due shades of light and
11:41
Gray into black. You know, you can't just pummel
11:45
an audience. You have to build them up and
11:48
then you have to pummel them. And then maybe you take them to
11:51
another place for a second, you know, and then you pummel them
11:54
again. And then you either end it there
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or you bring it down. But you have to take them on a
11:59
journey. So that seems kind of, you know,
12:04
duh. But a lot of songs just never go
12:07
anywhere. You know, great songs, great
12:12
songs are like watching a great movie.
12:14
You know, they make your mind go somewhere that you never thought
12:20
that it could or I don't know, you know, just.
12:24
It's a journey. It's a journey that's that's
12:27
that's one things I liked about the the songwriting process is,
12:30
is that roller coaster ride. You know, like you take them,
12:33
you take them down here, you know and then you just slowly
12:36
build up the melody and the music and then you hit the
12:39
chorus and it's like and then you come back down off the
12:42
roller coaster to you know the second set of verses and and
12:45
just it's. I've always liked that that the
12:47
the the dynamics of songwriting in them, not necessarily the
12:52
music getting louder but getting heavier.
12:54
You know, and may start cleaning turns heavy and distortion and
12:59
then like Nirvana like for lack of Smells Like Teen Spirit was
13:02
just. An epic Think about the.
13:04
Roller coaster ride because it's oh thank you because he starts
13:08
out you know really just soft and quiet and then it's just and
13:12
and oh and a Creep Radio had another good example of that.
13:18
Absolutely. You know that's this is the
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favorite, right? Those are the songs I liked
13:22
writing with us. It's just a take on those
13:24
journeys and and Sonic, you'd hear it, then you'd feel it and
13:29
well more the more of of. Go ahead.
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Go ahead. No I was gonna say the the more
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the more power that that those songs how they develop which is
13:43
to me was I don't know it's just I we've talked about it before I
13:50
think off air that that for me to get behind I was never big in
13:53
the covers. I mean per SE, as far as singing
13:56
them, because I couldn't get behind the emotion that the
13:58
writers felt when they wrote it. I completely.
14:02
So much of the instrumentation in a band, right.
14:05
And so much of the instrumentation side of the band
14:09
helps with that emotion and especially how you and I would
14:12
write and you would capture my, my, I don't know my mood but
14:16
just my words and it was just cool so you know but that so
14:21
that's kind of you know to Tooting our own drummers horn.
14:23
Scott was brilliant at what he did and made our songs different
14:30
then I may have heard them in my head or you may have heard them
14:32
in your head. Once we got him involved and he
14:35
started throwing down his his his beats to it, it was it was
14:38
cool. It was cool.
14:39
It was cool to watch that dynamic and and see and you
14:43
know, I had heard. For those that are unaware,
14:47
Scott and I had another bass player and he was also our
14:51
singer to start with and it just didn't work out.
14:54
We went to play our first gig and we were on stage at the
14:59
Electric Ballroom in the main room, which you know, holds, I
15:03
don't know, close to 2000 people, 1500, something like
15:06
that. It was a big room and this guy
15:08
had complete stage fright and it just took the will of the
15:14
universe to get him on stage. And after that, Scott said, you
15:18
know, this can never happen again.
15:19
So we let him go and we started practicing it in Scott's living
15:27
room and that's where him and I really got to know each other as
15:30
musicians. So one of the funniest stories
15:33
that we ever had together was I was trying to convey what I
15:39
wanted, which is everything you described in what became
15:42
Nemesis. Sound.
15:45
Say that three times. Nemesis sound.
15:47
So sound Nemesis. The sound nemesis the sound.
15:52
Thank you. This particular night we were,
15:55
you know, jamming away and I'm trying to get across to him that
15:58
I want him to play more, you know?
16:07
Thank you, thank you, thank you so.
16:10
You're welcome. You're welcome.
16:12
He's, he just stopped in the middle of the song and he said
16:15
I'm going to tell you one thing right now.
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He's like, I've played in a lot of bands and I've jammed with a
16:20
lot of musicians and nobody ever told me to hit the drums harder
16:23
or to play more. So I'll do the best I can.
16:27
And what became our sound is every day forward from that
16:32
particular day. I was like, dude, I'm just
16:34
looking for you to. When things get really like you
16:37
said, the distortion kicks in, the song picks up, I'm looking
16:41
for the drums to take over. I don't want to be the star of
16:44
the show, I want the song to be the star of the show.
16:48
Thank you. Thank you right there.
16:51
That was not interested in being the star.
16:56
Right, that. But that sums up the entire
16:57
existence of how we wrote songs and shit like we none of us
17:00
wanted to be the star. We just wanted to write really
17:04
good songs, go on stage, kick ass and and have fun doing it
17:09
and connect with people afterwards.
17:11
Yes, I will. Yeah, exactly.
17:16
We're going to, we're going to start posting some of these
17:18
things on the day that they happen, but I'll give you a
17:21
sneak peek. I got tons of these.
17:26
Oh, right on. So this is when we had our
17:29
development deal with Metal Blade and for those that don't
17:33
know, a development deal is a fancy way of saying you can use
17:38
our name, what you see right here.
17:43
We were allowed to use their name, but we're not going to
17:47
give you any money. We're just going to sit back and
17:49
see what happens they. Tell you right.
17:53
You know, you're more than welcome to say that you're
17:56
signed to Metal Blade, but we're not giving you an advance and
17:59
we're not giving you any advertising.
18:01
And you're on your own. Good graces.
18:03
So while they believed in us, they didn't believe in us enough
18:06
to give us any money. Boo.
18:13
Yeah, that's what we got. Crickets.
18:17
Crickets. It was the best, best $5
18:24
investment ever. And then I had this booing.
18:34
I like your shirt by the way. Thank you.
18:38
Be kind. We today my, my my brokerage
18:41
that I worked for everybody has a job.
18:45
My job. I don't really call it a job but
18:47
I'm the real estate guy for those who don't know and I help
18:49
people buy and sell houses and I'm love what I do.
18:54
So so a few times a month, 3 * a month I actually, I help
18:58
coordinate meals to feed homeless here in the in in in
19:02
Arizona. And one of the things my
19:04
brokerage does is we start in December and we start collecting
19:08
canned foods. We with the community.
19:10
The community helps us do this. It's not just us, you know,
19:13
30-40 Realtors doing it. We have the community help us do
19:17
so and that's a lot of communities, neighborhoods and
19:19
stuff in downtown Phoenix area, some high rise communities.
19:22
I actually got Orange Theory Fitness where I worked out, so
19:26
that went to stick a box in the lobby.
19:29
So today we put all that together.
19:31
I'll throw the little reel up on on the page.
19:34
We put all that together and we're waiting to find out how
19:36
many pounds we actually provided anywhere between 6 and 8000 lbs
19:41
of food. We dropped off today at Saint
19:44
Mary's Food Bank, which in Arizona, that's in the east, in
19:47
the in the Phoenix metro area anyway, that is the main food
19:52
bank that kind of drives all the food to the different shelters
19:54
and stuff in Phoenix and the East Valley and West Valley and
19:57
whatnot. So it's pretty cool.
19:59
It was fun to do it and we had a blast.
20:01
And yeah, so you know, you don't have to.
20:06
You don't have to. What's the word?
20:13
Giving. Giving is easy because old is
20:15
it's time. So if you have time to give,
20:18
even if it's an hour, 2 hours, 3 hours a week, find someplace and
20:21
go give your time. It's it's a good thing, you
20:24
know. You'll you'll feel better for
20:26
doing it. And it's good karma and it looks
20:28
good on your soul, you know? That's awesome.
20:32
I was just recently reminded of being, I don't know, 10-12,
20:41
something like that. And my mom made us kids give up,
20:47
you know, so many things that we were going to take, like you
20:50
said to the. Right.
20:52
Catholic Church up there and Saint Vincent DePaul is the one
20:56
that we give at the time. That's who we gave to.
20:59
So you know, you box up all your stuff and you take it up there
21:04
and most people pull around back and drop their stuff off.
21:07
Oh no. My mom parked right out front
21:09
and made us walk past all those people who had nothing that were
21:13
there to pick up food and oh, a few Christmas gifts for the
21:17
kids. Way to go, Mom.
21:19
Absolutely, because I remember it to this day.
21:22
And there was a little girl there that she couldn't have
21:25
been more than like 6. And she wanted my sister's
21:28
winter coat. And yeah, you know, all these
21:31
kids are asking for all these things right now for Christmas.
21:35
And for the people that are listening to the story.
21:37
I have a hard time telling the story without crying.
21:40
So I'm doing the best I can. But this little girl, all she
21:43
wanted for Christmas was this coat man, you know?
21:46
And even as a little kid, it hit me hard.
21:49
I was like, I want a race track and I want GI Joe guys or
21:53
whatever, whatever I wanted at the time, You know, man, was the
21:57
most important thing to me in the world.
21:58
And then I saw somebody who just wanted to stay warm, you know?
22:03
And I remember it to this day. And that's why, you know,
22:07
material things don't impress me at all.
22:09
What impresses me is humanity. I don't give a shit what you do
22:13
for a living. I don't give a shit how much
22:14
money you have. You're never going to impress me
22:17
with that. I don't care.
22:18
I think it's cool you have a yacht.
22:21
I think it's cool You own a 75,000 square foot house.
22:24
That's great. I've admire.
22:26
I not admire. I I I think that's cool.
22:30
But that's not what makes me get up in the you know, hearing a
22:34
story like that. You're telling the story because
22:37
you did it and we're here and this is our forum.
22:39
You're not one to brag. You just say go.
22:43
I did it, go do it. And that's important that people
22:47
see that message. You know, it's not hey look at
22:50
what I did. It's you are always saying I
22:54
went and did this. You know, you should go do
22:56
something like this too. I think that's cool because some
23:00
people just. Absolutely, Yeah.
23:01
Because I don't. They're busy.
23:04
Agreed. And I don't.
23:05
I don't, right. And I don't, I don't ever really
23:08
point out the shit that I do because I just.
23:10
I just don't. But when it when it's on a
23:14
platform that I can help, you know, potentially inspire others
23:21
to go give of their time selflessly, then why not, you
23:24
know? But I won't.
23:25
You will never see me. Oh, look at me, look at me, look
23:28
at me, look at me. You know, like I made videos of
23:30
what we did today, but it was more, more to show others, hey,
23:35
this is what we're doing today. This is, this is where the food
23:38
comes. This Is Us that we've collected
23:39
all this food. And then and so I kind of showed
23:41
them the process like this is, this is how the process works.
23:44
We're going to take this food. We're going to take it over
23:46
here. They're going to, they're going
23:47
to take it from us. They're going to box it up.
23:49
They're going to weigh it and then we're going to find out
23:50
exactly how much tonnage, not really tonnage, but well, I
23:56
guess a ton is 2000 lbs. So correct.
23:59
It's it's possible that, you know, we have 3 tons of food
24:02
that we kicked out today. We'll find out, you know.
24:06
That's something that so. That's our local, so it's not.
24:09
Women's It's. Never about me.
24:10
It's never a hazard of the UAW, but if I can get other.
24:13
People, they did the same kind of thing.
24:15
They did a food drive, they raised.
24:17
I don't know. Much as I possibly.
24:19
Can 400 and some pounds of food. So you know with everything with
24:24
like you know if if you know we're on the cusp of doing
24:30
something and being you know household names and I, I, I
24:34
fully believe that if we had gone to yeah I'm still here you
24:37
still here. I'm here.
24:40
I'm here. I know what he's saying.
24:43
Hold on, hold on, hold on. Because we've been through this
24:46
before, but. This is the applause, which is
24:55
really weird because this is what is Mike's getting.
25:01
Hopefully I didn't lose my Internet.
25:02
Again, he's getting crickets. That's.
25:04
What happened last time fucking Internet went out?
25:08
So it's really starting. Here's the weird thing about the
25:11
Internet you need to have Yeah, it is.
25:15
You know, Internet is crazy crazy crazy crazy.
25:20
Oh, look, Mike's calling me. Let's see what Mike has to say.
25:25
Hello, Mike. Can you hear me again?
25:28
I. I can hear you.
25:29
I've been hearing you the whole time.
25:31
Can you hear me? No, not at all.
25:34
Yeah, no, I can hear you. I can see you.
25:35
It's, it's, it's, it's amazing, you know?
25:37
There you are, like right there. You can't see me waving to you.
25:40
I'm waving. Hello.
25:42
No, you're a black screen and I got you just like we're gone.
25:46
Like in a second. Huh.
25:49
Let me see. Let me see if it's my Internet.
25:52
Because my Internet, it can be kind of crazy sometimes too, you
25:54
know? So let me circle my other window
25:56
and see if it pops up. No.
25:58
Yeah, it's popping up. No issues there.
26:01
I want to start telling you a story and like, right as soon as
26:04
I started talking, it dropped out.
26:09
Well, maybe the story wasn't supposed to be told.
26:16
That is a great I got somebody that's posted that Lethal
26:21
Weapons of Christmas movie, so I got to chime in and that that's
26:23
a great fucking movie. It's a great fucking movie.
26:29
And the crazy thing is, is I don't know.
26:34
I don't even know how I get you back on here in the same
26:37
session. You know what I'm saying?
26:39
Yeah. Yes, hold on one second.
26:48
Maybe we can access. Ladies and gentlemen, there
26:50
might be a way to fix this. Let me see.
26:54
I might just fuck it all up right here because there's a
27:03
place that says leave Studio and then underneath it it says End
27:06
Session for All, which we don't want to do.
27:08
Homeless. No, we don't want.
27:19
OK. Oh,
27:56
there is hope. There's always hope.
28:00
Hold on. I got to do.
28:01
Where's my oh, shit. So you can see me, but I can't
28:07
see you. Is that what's going on here?
28:12
Can you hear me? Still on the phone?
28:14
Yeah, I'm still here. Oh, there you go.
28:16
I got him back, people. Hello.
28:19
Now I can hear you again, OK. Oh, I'm going to hang up the
28:21
phone now. Sorry about that people.
28:26
Technology is not perfect apparently, but I do know how to
28:29
get him back now I just got to leave myself and join the studio
28:33
again. So there we go.
28:36
That's what you call learning on the fly.
28:41
Right, learning on the fly. Because I'm not going to lie.
28:45
On the fly. I learned how to run the studio
28:49
part of this, and then I never really dove any deeper into that
28:53
to figure out what would happen in an emergency.
28:57
So I really just figured it out. Right on.
29:03
So Jake is committed to next week, next Tuesday.
29:12
Tell him thank you. For my son, I'm.
29:14
Looking forward to talking to him.
29:15
Yes, Jake, the Marine. I have something.
29:19
I have something funny. Hold on.
29:21
You're going to be dead air. Oh fuck.
29:24
Don't do that. No, we won't be dead air.
29:26
I'll entertain them. I was sitting OK, entertained.
29:31
I'm entertaining now, so this week in the news, No, not
29:35
really. I would like to say thank you to
29:39
everybody who has followed the Facebook page and for those of
29:43
you who have not gone over to Spotify and click the follow
29:46
button, even if Spotify is not your chosen platform, if you
29:52
would just click that follow button for me that really helps
29:56
us immensely. Everything is metrics driven, so
30:00
you know they got analytics that you have to meet and the more
30:03
people that actually follow the podcast the better off we are as
30:09
far as keeping this thing rolling for you guys.
30:12
So thank you very much for doing that.
30:14
I appreciate it. This is cardboard cut out, Jake.
30:20
Cardboard cut out Jake So Jake is actually the first official
30:24
guest on the podcast Jake and not AS.
30:26
Himself. Yeah, right.
30:28
Cardboard cut out. Jake was the 1st.
30:30
Guest. He's a Marine, United States
30:31
Marine, United States Marine. This is when he got his.
30:38
I believe that is him getting his his either his Lance
30:41
Corporal or his, whichever one's higher certification or or
30:46
promotion. He is currently a Sergeant, yes.
30:51
So the he is a Sergeant he's going he's home until the middle
30:56
of January and we're looking then he goes back to yeah and he
31:02
goes back to Japan for a couple months and it comes back to San
31:06
Diego to join drill instructor boot camp because he's been he's
31:12
made drill instructor. So then he'll be a drill
31:15
instructor for three years in San Diego.
31:18
Rock this thing so tight. That's what she said.
31:20
Not enough time, Not enough. Time.
31:22
Horrible place to have to do your drill Instructing San
31:25
Diego, CA. That's just awful.
31:27
Poor kid. Right. 22 years, that's why.
31:33
He had boot camp at the same space.
31:36
Fucking San Diego. I'd be in hell.
31:38
Of course. I was 22 year old, 22 years old
31:41
in Phoenix, playing in a rock band.
31:43
So I was in heaven too. And I'll I'll champion that
31:49
statement. Yeah, one thing we did is have
31:53
fucking fun. We.
31:57
Had we did have fucking fun all the time.
32:00
There's no way. There's no other way to put it.
32:02
Yes, every day. For those that are unaware, we
32:07
were not weekend warriors. We were either practicing every
32:10
day or we had a gig. And a lot of times we were
32:13
playing multiple gigs a week and then in between we would
32:17
practice every day. So I kind of had a full time
32:21
job. I went there when I wanted to.
32:26
I had. A really cool job that that.
32:30
Yeah, yeah, yeah. My.
32:31
Job. This is something.
32:32
Since that I I ran a group home Mr. Middleman.
32:35
I remember that this is something that even the.
32:39
Ability because I. The fact that I said this would,
32:45
this would be something that even my family would probably be
32:48
surprised about. Because, you know, I was working
32:53
for a family run business and they basically just let me come
32:58
to work when I wanted to and they paid me for the hours that
33:00
I worked and then the rest of the time we were doing the band.
33:03
So it wasn't like I was working 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week.
33:07
I was basically going in there and doing what they needed of
33:10
me, which took me, I don't know, three days a week, four or five
33:14
hours a day. It wasn't really, you know, it
33:20
wasn't an everyday commitment. So I'm sure that's news to even
33:25
my family, which is probably why I had trouble paying the bills
33:28
if we didn't get paid with the band.
33:33
All this is starting to add up. Now it's starving right now.
33:38
Everybody's starting to realize what was going on.
33:42
Yeah, that's all good. I was having fucking fun.
33:48
Absolutely. And there is nothing wrong with
33:54
having fun, no. It's just unfortunate that
34:02
things ended the way they did, but here we are now.
34:05
You can't change the past. No you can't.
34:11
That was one thing as an addict that I had to come to terms with
34:14
is, you know, 10 seconds ago, 10 minutes ago.
34:18
That's in the past and the future is in the future.
34:21
The only thing that I can live in is right now, where we're at,
34:25
talking to each other one-on-one, You know, you can
34:27
only live in the present. Yep.
34:30
I don't look too far ahead, and I definitely don't look behind
34:33
unless it's finally, you know, I try not to dwell on the bad
34:39
things unless it's to, unless it's to tell the stories so that
34:44
someone else may not go down that same path that I did.
34:47
That's really the only time I delve into how bad things got.
34:51
Like if you want to go through this, go ahead, go ahead and
34:56
keep going down that road. I'll tell you all the horror
34:58
stories. I actually just told a piece of
35:01
it today. When I said even six months
35:05
after I was clean and sober, I was going through horrible
35:10
paranoia, horrible to the point where I thought I was going to
35:13
have to live the rest of my life that way.
35:15
So, like, you know, if you want to be an addict, that's what you
35:19
have to look forward to in the end.
35:23
I personally would not want to go through it again.
35:24
Yeah. No, I I, I don't remember all of
35:29
my stuff now because it's been so long.
35:31
I don't know what 19 years this February.
35:37
So I I still remember pieces of it.
35:40
But you know, it's it's, you know, it's like a lifetime,
35:44
right? I mean 819 years old, nineteen
35:46
years, 18 years is a lifetime, you know?
35:49
So yeah, that's old enough for somebody to.
35:51
Be We have so gotten out. And become leaders.
35:55
And enlist in the military and vote.
36:00
So yeah, we got off. We still.
36:03
Got off topic today. All this happens.
36:05
All the All the squirrels, so we.
36:08
Had technical. Difficulties did you so so and
36:11
the whole the whole reason that I came up with this drummer.
36:14
I thing this drummer idea concept is because I watched
36:17
this documentary on Amazon like Amazon's got music
36:22
documentaries. Do you have Amazon?
36:24
Amazon Prime. I do.
36:28
OK. So Randy Castillo, you know who
36:32
Randy Castillo is? I watched that.
36:35
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Great great rockumentary man.
36:41
Like I. Knew Randy really good.
36:45
Aussie. Right.
36:47
And I was. I was.
36:48
I was super stoked when I saw that as a as a suggestion which
36:52
I don't know why they suggested it but and and watching it like
36:56
I really, I only knew I only knew him from Oz's Ozzy days.
36:59
I didn't know everything before and then everything after.
37:01
I didn't know he replaced Tommy because I was never a big Mötley
37:04
Crüe fan. Because Vince Neal.
37:06
Yeah, because Vince Neal sounds like a fucking cat when he sings
37:09
on stage and it's just it's not pleasing for anybody.
37:13
Not anymore. You know, he was amazing.
37:14
That's why Auto Tune. That's why.
37:16
Auto, right? But that's why Auto Tune exists
37:21
for people like him. But horrifically like I we won't
37:27
talk about Vince Neil, but I was just, I was blown away that that
37:31
all the different styles of music that Randy could play and
37:35
and the clinics that he would give And if you watched it so
37:37
you know like he didn't prepare for these things.
37:39
He came in and just taught. And from what everybody was
37:42
saying, which, you know, I don't necessarily always believe when
37:46
somebody says after they're gone, oh, you're such a genuine
37:48
human being. Like, like people need to be
37:50
honest. Like, I've told my kids, like
37:52
when I die, you know, point out that I'm an asshole.
37:54
Like I wasn't always this nice guy that, you know, there were
37:56
days where I was just a flat out prick.
37:58
But that's part of being a human.
38:00
Like, you're not perfect. Nobody's perfect.
38:02
So when I'm. We're we're talking about an
38:04
overall lifetime. You can't just nitpick the band.
38:09
You can't nitpick the days you were an asshole.
38:11
Well, true 95. If 95% of the time you were a
38:14
good person, then you're a good person, right?
38:16
We're fallible or fucking human. We make mistakes, right?
38:21
Right, but I still think that should be and I've I've.
38:24
I would consider you a nice. Guy to say that, Yeah, yeah, I
38:29
am a nice guy, but I can be an asshole and that's what needs to
38:31
be said. He was a nice guy, but gosh, you
38:33
know, sometimes he was just an asshole.
38:35
Thank you. Thank you for your honesty.
38:37
I'll take that because it's true.
38:40
Everybody has bad days. Everybody, you know, nobody can.
38:43
It's not. It's not roses and daisies day
38:45
in and day out and the people that live their lives like that.
38:49
Then when they drop that bomb on social media that that you know
38:53
their world's falling apart like you don't say because you're
38:57
you're you're you're painting a picture that your world's
38:59
perfect and nobody's world is perfect.
39:01
It's impossible, absolutely impossible to have a perfect
39:04
world. I don't care who you are.
39:07
Even Jesus didn't have a perfect world.
39:09
Go back to our fifth episode. We talk about Jesus and religion
39:14
and what he encountered. Because, you know, Mike and I
39:17
were there. You know Mike more than me
39:20
because he did some psychedelics, right?
39:24
But. I might have thought the
39:26
beginning. Go to that episode.
39:28
No question, Right. See, there you go.
39:31
There you go. So he was what Mike's done all
39:35
the psychedelics for both of us. You know, I was always that guy
39:37
that just, you know, abstained, which is, you know, fine.
39:40
It's it's the each zone. There's no judgement judgement.
39:43
Free zone. This is the sharing.
39:45
Yeah. We don't this is the this is the
39:47
safety tree. Like old school, old school
39:50
scene. This is the safety tree.
39:52
Let me tell you one thing that is 100% certain is that all the
39:58
times that. At least while we were in the
40:02
band, All the times that we did drugs, at least Scott and I, it
40:07
was for, yeah, scientific research purposes only.
40:16
And I say that in all seriousness.
40:17
That's why I don't. Because I yeah, yeah, yeah.
40:20
We never, we never hurt anybody. We never forced anybody to do
40:25
anything they didn't want to do. And most of the time it was just
40:27
him and I doing shit by ourselves, you know, just trying
40:33
to figure out what life is about.
40:35
You know, we were 19/20/21, whatever, you know, We were
40:40
young. We wanted to know what life was
40:42
for us, not what our parents had taught us and what society had
40:46
taught us. And we were not going to be the
40:48
people, yourself included, to conform to the way that the
40:52
world told us to live. That's not who we were and
40:54
that's not who we are today. The most disappointing thing to
40:57
me is the people that I grew up with that were fucking rebels
41:01
then and they're goddamn conservatives now, you know,
41:05
they're like, oh, it's so disappointing, dude, it makes me
41:11
sick to my stomach. It's like if you're a rebel,
41:13
you're a rebel to the end. Well, you know, a couple kids
41:16
and I got a boat payment and well, I whatever.
41:20
It's just disappointing. It is makes me sad.
41:25
Yeah, well that's kind of like we talked about the religion
41:29
thing. You know how how the the most
41:32
judgmental people that I've ever come across in my lifetime are
41:35
Christians. Yet it's it's clearly States and
41:37
said Bible. You know, we talked about that
41:39
and the religion episode, which was #6, tackling the religion
41:44
literally. So go back to the Spotify and
41:46
listen to that. Yes.
41:48
You know. And can anybody tell me why the
41:51
Spotify Card did not post with Episode 7?
41:56
If there's anybody that can answer that question, go to
41:59
Chris and Mike Show on Facebook and drop us a comment.
42:03
Because no matter what I did, I could not get that picture to go
42:07
with the episode and it's driving me crazy.
42:11
Oh, that's weird. I tried.
42:14
I tried to post it. Maybe the size is too big?
42:18
No, because all the other ones posted underneath it.
42:25
Things that make you go. If anybody knows the answer to
42:29
that question, just drop us the answer at Chris and Mike Show on
42:32
Facebook. Thank you.
42:36
So we picked up a listener from Hong Kong and we picked up a
42:40
listener from Uzbekistan. Uzbekistan.
42:45
We had to look and thank you for Uzbekistan.
42:48
Uzbekistan is north of Afghanistan for those who are
42:51
wandering and apparently I did some research on Uzbekistan.
42:55
So if you're our listener, I did actually look up your country
42:58
and I learned some things. So Uzbekistan, which are, is
43:05
home to one of the oldest mosques and religious artifacts,
43:13
buildings, artwork, and apparently it is so beautiful
43:18
that the Genghis Khan himself left it alone.
43:21
As he was raping and pillaging Europe, he destroyed Europe,
43:26
just destroyed. For those of you who do not, for
43:30
those of you who do not know, all of us have some Genghis Khan
43:35
in him. That's how many women he raped
43:37
in his lifetime. Even now.
43:39
Today, most people on earth have some Genghis Khan in them.
43:44
That's a true statement. That's crazy.
43:47
Uzbekistan is so beautiful that even the most evil person,
43:51
whoever lived, left it alone. He couldn't bring himself to
43:55
destroy it. So it's very friendly towards
43:58
Americans, apparently. It's a nice place to visit.
44:00
I'd actually kind of like to see it after I read about it.
44:03
So thank you for listening, because I never would have
44:05
looked up Uzbekistan. And now I know.
44:08
Amazing. I never would have would have
44:10
looked it up either. I would have thought it was a A
44:12
Borat movie, you know? Oh man, the pictures.
44:17
I saw dude were. Beautiful.
44:18
I'd love to see it. Really.
44:23
Yeah, you're talking like mosques and churches and artwork
44:26
from thousands and thousands of years ago.
44:29
Just absolutely beautiful. No, Right on.
44:33
Absolutely. That's cool man.
44:37
So I guess people are finding us on Spotify on purpose and.
44:44
Accidentally which is a good thing on purpose and
44:47
accidentally well. And I posted a buddy of mine
44:50
Brad. Saint Louis.
44:51
Hi Brad. Hi Brad.
44:54
He had he had posted he had posted something.
44:56
What's your favorite podcast. So of course I said the Chris on
44:58
my show and then he said who's your target audience?
45:03
And I said humans because, you know, I mean I may be an alien,
45:07
but are you, you know, not necessarily.
45:10
So I felt it was important to say humans is what we target you
45:14
know, for our podcast listenership.
45:17
Because I don't think somebody in, you know, a planet you know
45:20
thousands of miles away may be able to speak English.
45:22
So or or be able to have Google Translate and hold it to the
45:27
computer while they're listening to this podcast and and let it
45:30
translate into other languages. I know and I would say that you
45:34
know, I know you're being funny on one hand but you're not on
45:37
the other because we are trying to grow a family of like minded
45:41
individuals. That doesn't mean that we're
45:43
always going to be like right, don't mistake, don't mistake me
45:46
for I'm not looking for people to disagree with me because I'm
45:49
always looking for people to disagree with me.
45:52
That's how I've become the person that I am today is
45:55
there's people that have actually changed my mind.
45:57
And that's what I'm saying. Like minded.
45:59
I'm looking for people who aren't married to their ideas,
46:03
who can be molded, who can mold me, who can mold Chris, who can
46:06
mold our guests. You know, this is just the
46:09
beginning. You guys are on the beginning of
46:11
the ride and that's awesome. I like to be on the ground floor
46:14
of things myself. I was on the ground floor of
46:17
Metallica and I followed their whole career and it's been
46:20
awesome. So you know, I know what it's
46:22
like to be in the beginning. Cardboard cut out.
46:26
Jake is cracking me up in the background, by the way.
46:30
I got, I got another one. That was his senior prom picture
46:34
and he he ensured. I'm sure he.
46:36
Requested for that change it so I I did that one.
46:42
So I'm going to reserve all my questions for Jake because I
46:46
have a lot of questions for him and I actually have questions
46:48
from some of our listeners. But I do have one question.
46:51
As Jake's father, did you know that he tatted himself up?
46:56
I. Didn't know he did the leg tap.
46:59
He. No, I, I.
47:00
All the other ones that he has, we know about because he's he
47:03
shared them with us. I didn't know he did the leg
47:06
tap. That was a surprise.
47:09
Skyler knew. His sister.
47:12
Yeah, his sky his sister knew. I think probably a lot of his
47:16
friends that he still has here knew and I don't know why he
47:22
didn't like the the relationship he and I have is different than
47:26
his mom because he's a mama's boy.
47:29
Not in a pussy way, but he's just not, you know, like there's
47:33
some mama's, Yeah, there's some mama's boys there's, yeah,
47:35
they're just straight up, you know, hit every branch down the
47:39
stupid tree, right. Yeah, I don't think.
47:43
I'm. I talk about the sensitive stuff
47:45
with my mother. For sure.
47:47
I'm getting better. With that, I'm saying.
47:49
So he's got that I yeah, yeah. And I don't have to worry about
47:53
either of those because both my parental people are, you know,
47:58
bleep blep, blep, blep, blep, blep, blep, blep, blep, blep,
48:01
blep, blep, blep fucking useless.
48:03
And I'm happy about that. Well, OK, yeah.
48:06
You know why one's still, you know, I won't go down that path
48:09
anyway. I know.
48:10
It's just you know, but so to me, I I would have championed
48:18
the what he was doing because you know it's his body and
48:21
there's worse things you could be doing to yourself and.
48:25
Yeah, he's not hurting anything. We as a family dealt right,
48:29
Right. We as a family dealt with a
48:30
couple different addiction issues, you know, over over the
48:34
years and you know, he could be a punk ass kid that not with his
48:40
head on straight and and not in the military, not building his
48:44
future and inking himself. He's a United States Marine at
48:47
711, right? Right.
48:50
He's one of the like, you don't. Here's the thing about the
48:52
Marines, in case you don't know. I tried to they're.
48:55
The upper echelon of all I did too.
48:59
They're the upper echelon of the military.
49:01
So case in point, if he left the Marines after his three-year
49:05
stint as a drill instructor, which takes him to 10 years, I
49:08
believe, and decides that I don't want to be a Marine, I
49:11
want to. I want to go, you know, to the
49:14
Air Force. He would just walk into the Air
49:15
Force and be assigned a rank and go.
49:20
Same thing with the Army. Same thing with the Navy.
49:22
They wouldn't make him do any nonsense bullshit like a recruit
49:26
does because he's already proven himself to the world making it
49:30
through the Marine boot camp. I mean, the Crucible itself is a
49:33
crazy insane. We'll let him talk about it.
49:36
The Crucible is just pure insanity that you have to.
49:40
I mean, it's it's the best way to explain it is you go into
49:44
boot camp, the first thing the drill instructor's job is to do
49:47
is to break you down emotionally, mentally, just tear
49:50
you apart. And then they got to build you
49:52
back up. Which is why I think Jake's
49:54
going to be a fantastic drill instructor because he has the
49:57
innate ability and I knew this when I was coaching him in
50:00
sports, For him to exceed and excel in whatever we were doing
50:05
sport wise, I'd have to piss him off.
50:07
I'd have to push his buttons, push those buttons, piss him
50:11
off. He'd get lit up and then he
50:12
would go fucking perform like nobody's business.
50:16
But then after the game, he could flip that switch and go
50:19
back to normal everyday. Jake and he understood there's a
50:23
coach and there's a dad. It doesn't it didn't mix like I
50:26
wasn't. I wasn't mixing those two.
50:28
He understood the difference. And because of that he he could
50:31
flip that switch, man. And he could just fucking kick
50:33
some ass because he he he could. So when he graduated boot camp,
50:38
he he came, he had some types of relationships with his drilling
50:42
structures and and you know, then there's a human side of
50:45
stuff. It's like we were hard on you
50:46
because we had to get you from point A to point B.
50:49
So I think he's going to be great in that aspect because
50:52
he'll shred these kids because he has to, to prepare them for
50:55
whatever they're doing. You know, infantry's no joke and
50:57
matter, right? Like you're going out there,
51:00
you're you're a Marine first. Like he's an accounting supply
51:04
and logistics because he was a backup shipper and the MO s s
51:07
that were provided for him. He couldn't do the other two
51:09
because he was, he's colored efficient.
51:11
Like we picked him up at the airport.
51:13
He told Nikki he was wearing a maroon backpack.
51:15
I spy him at the the baggage carousel and he was wearing a
51:19
green backpack. In his mind it was maroon,
51:24
right? So he couldn't be demolitions
51:26
because that that was one of his options.
51:28
The other one was airline mechanic, airplane mechanic.
51:30
He cut the wrong wire. You you just destroyed
51:33
something. So he ended up being counting
51:35
supply and logistics because he ended up going in in August when
51:38
he wasn't supposed to go until November.
51:40
But that's how many kids that couldn't couldn't.
51:44
What's the word they couldn't they couldn't cut it.
51:47
So he. Cut the muscle.
51:48
Brilliant on his part that, right?
51:50
So he he just, you know, go get her and he's he's, you know,
51:55
he's a badass. You'll all see him next week and
51:57
he'll share his stories about boot camp and we'll talk about
52:01
his tattoos. But the tattoo that Mike's
52:03
referring to, it's his left leg. It's traditional Japanese
52:09
artwork and it's a traditional Japanese, Japanese way of doing
52:13
it. Amazing.
52:15
So we'll right. So we'll let him explain it and
52:19
then we'll drop pictures and stuff of it and you can see it
52:23
as it is. Quite spectacular for sure.
52:27
Yep, Yep, Yep. Yeah.
52:29
So I'm interested in several things.
52:33
Obviously, you know, you just touched on two of them.
52:35
I'm also interested in his time in Japan because I've heard, you
52:39
know, people that have gone to Japan have always had an amazing
52:42
experience. So I'd like to hear his
52:44
experience there. And I know it was different than
52:47
a tourist, but I'm sure he got to experience some culture and
52:50
stuff like that. The only time I've ever been off
52:53
this continent is to go to Catalina.
52:55
So I like to hear stories like that.
52:58
And that's part of why I wanted to do this podcast is to hear
53:02
interesting people. And Jake has made himself an
53:05
interesting person at a very young age, and I think that's
53:07
awesome. So I'm honored to have him on
53:10
here and tell him, tell him that, you know, it's not just
53:13
because he's your son, it's because he made himself an
53:15
interesting person. As to why I want him on the
53:18
podcast So. Yeah.
53:19
Oh yeah. It's my honor to have him here.
53:21
It's your honor to have him here.
53:23
I think it's going to be awesome.
53:24
He's our first guest. Agreed it's.
53:29
Very fitting, so very fitting. We're going to do this thing.
53:32
We're yeah, we're going to do this thing now every week
53:35
because my OCD requires us to have some type of.
53:39
We have to have a thing. Structure, even though we don't
53:42
have a, yeah, we don't have a structure at all, but we have
53:45
this thing that's going to be so before you.
53:47
So it's before you say that, Tim.
53:50
OK, go ahead. Go ahead.
53:51
OK, before you say that, anybody that knows me knows that I'm
53:55
super OCD except for the artistic side of me.
53:59
So the artistic side of me drives Chris fucking crazy
54:03
because I'm just like, let's go with the flow and see what
54:07
happens and how does this song end?
54:10
I don't know. We're just going to end it and
54:11
it ends differently every night. And how does this song begin?
54:14
I don't know. It kind of goes like this.
54:16
And yeah, I drive him crazy as an artist, so I apologize for
54:20
that. And that's what makes us tick.
54:21
And that's part of our that's part of the thing that's
54:25
probably different about us in life.
54:26
We're both OCD to no end. Anybody that knows me knows
54:29
that, but as an artist, I am not OCD.
54:32
So I I will let him finish his statement here, 'cause it is
54:36
really good. We're going to do a top ten list
54:38
is where he left off, yes, but it's not top 10.
54:42
Right. Well, kinda it, right?
54:44
It's not top ten. It's not top ten list.
54:46
The reason why it's not top 10 is every musician knows it's
54:51
better to go up to 11. Yes.
54:54
So it's the top. 11 that we're going to do.
54:59
Right, right. It's Hello, Cleveland.
55:01
But you're in Detroit. And if you don't know what we're
55:04
referring to, it's the greatest. It's the greatest mockumentary
55:11
of a rock band of every of, of all time called This Is Spinal
55:16
Tap. So do you have.
55:19
Do you have your yes? Oh yeah, yeah, my and Nikki
55:23
hates it. It's one of my all time
55:25
favourites now. Do you have your list that I
55:26
sent you, Mike? Yes.
55:31
OK, so it's it's up to you if you want to start with #11 or if
55:36
you want me to. And then we're just going to,
55:37
we're going to trade spots every time and and just so you know,
55:41
boys and girls, this is what we're going to do to wrap up
55:44
every episode. So you have to listen to the
55:47
show to get to the top 11 list. So are you going to post this on
55:55
the Facebook page to get other people's top 11 list, or is this
55:59
just exclusive? To us, Yeah, we can do that.
56:01
We can. No.
56:02
OK. We could do that.
56:03
I think that's a good. We can do that.
56:04
We can do that, yeah. Because I'd like to see other
56:07
people do that opinion on this. They're going to be good topics.
56:10
And because this was Chris's idea, unless I unless something
56:14
really jumps out at me, I will let him control this portion of
56:17
the show because it makes him feel better and that makes me
56:19
happy. So I know he's going to come up
56:24
with good subjects because I've known him for 30 some years and
56:28
he's just got one of those minds that comes up with great topics.
56:31
So I'm interested in hearing our listeners.
56:34
Top 11, List 2 is my idea. With that, go ahead with your
56:38
first one. OK, so here's the.
56:41
Top 11. List.
56:43
Yeah, yeah, right. I can tell him what it is.
56:46
So these are the top 11 things not to buy your significant
56:52
other, whatever, for Christmas. It can be anybody.
56:55
It can be your brother, sister, family member, wife, you know,
56:58
husband. It doesn't matter.
57:01
But it's just the top 11 things not to buy as Christmas presents
57:06
this year #11. Anything with live love.
57:13
Laugh on it. I think Mike froze.
57:19
Did you freeze Mike? Oh no.
57:21
He put his glasses. On Grandpa needed her. #10
57:24
Michael. You already did 11.
57:31
Nope, I did 11. Did you already you?
57:34
Already did it again. Yeah, yeah, I can do it again
57:37
#11 Anything with live love. Laugh on it.
57:41
Do not give that as a gift. OK, so my #11 was.
57:50
No, you're #10. Oh, I'm #10.
57:53
No, we're doing, we're doing the top 11 list, right?
57:56
You're #10. In reverse order I got it
58:00
voodoo. Dolls.
58:01
Right, right, right. Yeah.
58:05
Voodoo dolls. Yes, don't give your.
58:07
Voodoo Dogs OK for? Surely a significant other
58:10
voodoo doll. I mean, come on, that's
58:12
counterproductive. OK, yeah, that's a good one.
58:15
I like that #9 fruitcake. Do not give anybody fruitcake as
58:20
a gift. An actual fruitcake or a person
58:27
that's a fruitcake. Either one is a bad.
58:29
Absolute thank you exactly. Thank you and you're welcome #8.
58:39
Now you're you're number, you're #8.
58:42
You're #8 cleaning supplies. Yeah, that that's a bad idea,
58:48
Cleaning supplies. Brilliant.
58:49
Brilliant. Do not give your your gift of
58:53
giving cleaning supplies. That would be bad #7A Chia Pet.
59:00
Do you really think that somebody is standing in the line
59:05
at Walgreens thinking I would like a Chia Pet for Christmas?
59:09
The answer to that is no. Thank you.
59:15
Thank you very much. Number six.
59:22
Number six statement mugs so like World's Greatest Dad Best
59:29
Wife #1. Gotcha.
59:34
I have a mug. Up sex addict.
59:36
Yeah, I don't know. You know, right.
59:39
OK, yeah, I get it. All the crazy, all the crazy
59:42
little things. Very good. #5 of the Top 11
59:47
things not to give as presents this holiday season Magazine
59:52
Subscription to a magazine they'll never read.
59:56
Case the point, if you got me a magazine subscription to Popular
59:59
Mechanics, I would not read it because that is not my
1:00:02
wheelhouse. Nor is it mine, so please don't
1:00:05
give me that. There you go. #4 There you go.
1:00:10
Definitely don't get for significant other or anyone that
1:00:14
you truly care about. Self help books for Christmas
1:00:19
maybe any other time of the year, but they don't need to be
1:00:21
reminded they have a problem at Christmas time.
1:00:25
Right. That's fantastic.
1:00:28
How to work? On you.
1:00:29
Good one. I like that.
1:00:30
Then, yeah. Yeah, that's awesome.
1:00:36
OK. Uh huh, Uh huh.
1:00:38
That's that's that's that was number 4.
1:00:42
You were #4 right. That was, Yep, #4.
1:00:44
You're on #3, brother. Yeah, see, see, I I yeah, 'cause
1:00:47
I forget sometimes #3 anything that involves or revolves around
1:00:54
Taylor Swift. Unless you're 13 year old girl.
1:01:03
Are we tired of Taylor Swift yet?
1:01:06
Or Taylor Swift might be tired of Taylor Swift.
1:01:10
I know Travis Kelsey's. Not I think, yeah, yeah, I think
1:01:13
they're going to, I think they're going to they're going
1:01:15
to burn out Taylor Swift. They're going to over overexpose
1:01:20
it, right. You know, when you overdo it,
1:01:22
it's just, you know, it's like reel back in she's.
1:01:25
Already made her billion. Too much of a good thing.
1:01:28
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, a hell of a musician for
1:01:31
sure, you know. And she wrote.
1:01:33
Yeah, she's done. She's made her mark for sure.
1:01:35
Nobody will ever take that away from her.
1:01:37
But you know, Taylor Swift in the industry is not.
1:01:42
Chris has had enough, ladies and gentlemen.
1:01:44
Number two. Number two I have.
1:01:47
I have. Appliances Vacuum Cleaner,
1:01:51
Blender. Oh yeah, Women don't need to be.
1:01:55
Or men. Or women and women.
1:01:57
Or men and men. I'm not here to judge.
1:01:59
So your significant other does not need to be reminded that
1:02:04
they're a slob, I guess at Christmas time, so.
1:02:12
I I totally missed that one. So, so true story, we have a
1:02:16
friend that gave his wife a power washer one year for
1:02:19
Christmas. OK, a power washer she.
1:02:24
Claimed she was happy that she got her power.
1:02:27
I don't know. People are weird, man.
1:02:28
You know? There are your outlines.
1:02:30
Some people are weird. What?
1:02:33
Did you mean? This is for people are strange.
1:02:36
People are strange. People are strange when you're a
1:02:38
stranger. People look ugly when you're
1:02:40
alone. Yes, #1.
1:02:42
And the number one thing to not buy as a Christmas gift this
1:02:46
holiday season is. Your number.
1:02:52
Is that you or me, Mike? You're #1.
1:02:54
Oh, I'm number one. So the number one thing not, I
1:03:06
don't walk around with my own applause meter for the hell of
1:03:09
it. The number one thing not to get
1:03:12
for Christmas this year. Right you are.
1:03:14
It's nice. This is a good number one too.
1:03:16
Number one thing not to get somebody for Christmas this year
1:03:20
is a custom bobble head with them sitting on the toilet.
1:03:26
It's it's it's out there, man. You're going to if you're on
1:03:29
social media, start talking bobbles, start talking bobble
1:03:32
head. Because the the our media,
1:03:34
smartphones, listen to us start talking about bobble heads.
1:03:37
And I I can pretty much guarantee you within a day or
1:03:40
two you're going to have an ad pop up that wants you to take
1:03:43
your ugly mug, create a bobble head and sit on a toilet.
1:03:47
Mind you, your pants are down. You're sitting on the toilet.
1:03:54
True. True.
1:03:58
I might need this in my life. Yes.
1:04:02
Yep, Yep, Yep. Why not, Really.
1:04:03
It's not a good thing. Not a good thing.
1:04:05
My number one actually wasn't that good.
1:04:07
Well, get your significant other.
1:04:10
My number one you probably just shouldn't press, shouldn't open
1:04:15
my number one in front of your entire family.
1:04:19
Oh, gotcha. Oh, yeah.
1:04:21
That probably wouldn't be a good idea.
1:04:24
All right, so there you go. This is The Chris and Mike Show
1:04:27
season one episode 8. #8 we are in #8, even I keep even.
1:04:33
I quit keeping track because eventually we're going to be on,
1:04:36
like, 475, and I just don't know if I want to be the guy that's
1:04:41
going. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to
1:04:43
episode 475 of The Chris and Mike Show.
1:04:46
You know, it's just. Well.
1:04:49
I hope we get to well, that's kind of what I do.
1:04:51
Yeah. Yeah, maybe.
1:04:54
I'm turning in. I got.
1:04:54
To 106 episodes. With, with, with.
1:04:57
Yeah, yeah, no, it's fine, man. We'll get there.
1:05:00
The baby steps, man. You got to start somewhere, you
1:05:02
know. No, I'm just what I'm saying is.
1:05:04
These people seem to enjoy it, you know?
1:05:06
Yeah. I love it, man.
1:05:07
I'm I. Actually, we went up with a good
1:05:10
no. I actually just told a good
1:05:12
friend of mine today that I look forward to Tuesday.
1:05:15
Like I've never looked forward to Tuesday in my life.
1:05:17
So yeah, I would say I enjoy it a lot.
1:05:20
It's a blast, man. It's everything I hope for and
1:05:22
it's just keeps getting better. So yeah, it's awesome.
1:05:27
Yeah, you'll get better and better.
1:05:28
I'll get better and better. We'll get better and better.
1:05:29
It'll be awesome, man. That's what we do.
1:05:31
So here's my point. Rock'n'roll coop, man.
1:05:34
Do we want to keep saying in every episode that this is
1:05:38
episode 8, this is episode 9? They're going to know what
1:05:41
episode they're on, right? Do we need to say it?
1:05:44
Yeah, well, because when you drop it, it's going to show it.
1:05:47
But it's like an Easter egg, you know, somewhere during the
1:05:52
episode I'll drop, I'll drop what season and what episode it
1:05:55
is just for the hell of it. Because you know, OK, why not?
1:05:58
I'm fine with that. If that no animal, yeah, I mean
1:06:00
no animal. It's just one of those things,
1:06:03
you know, It's kind of like no animals will harm during the
1:06:06
making of this episode because we don't have any animals around
1:06:08
us, you. Know I don't have any animals.
1:06:10
Period. I did get an I did get a
1:06:13
personal air horn. You know, like this big because
1:06:17
of the the the random, the random cats that that patrol my
1:06:21
house and one of my neighbors told me we'll just scare them
1:06:24
Like, OK, so every night I go out about 9:00 in the dark
1:06:28
because I'm in a neighborhood where that's it's a it's it's
1:06:31
supposed to be dark. There's no St. lights and I'll
1:06:33
just stand out my door with my hair and go and then I go back
1:06:38
in the house and then I watch neighbors security lights pop on
1:06:42
motion detectors as cats are going.
1:06:47
And the main reason why is because they mess with little
1:06:50
man's play area. They'll like, they'll they'll
1:06:52
poop where he plays and it's like that's not cool.
1:06:55
So we've tried everything. You mean like everything.
1:06:59
Everything you. Yeah, every.
1:07:02
And I'm not. I'm not, no.
1:07:04
And I'm not slamming cat owners. There's hey, you know, to each
1:07:08
his own. And we've tried everything
1:07:10
humanely possible from orange rind and and different kinds of
1:07:13
plants that have, you know, like citrus, citronella plants and
1:07:16
and Rosemary, all the things that are supposed to detract
1:07:19
cats. The problem is though we have an
1:07:22
acre, it's 211 feet on every single side and that's a lot of
1:07:26
fucking citronella to plant, man.
1:07:28
So you know we tried urine, coyote urine, and and just these
1:07:33
little automated sprinkler systems where you walk by just
1:07:37
clips you. Well, the cats are smart man.
1:07:39
They would walk behind the motion detector and avoid the
1:07:44
sprinkler. I'm like you brilliant little
1:07:46
bastards. So I've resorted to an air horn
1:07:50
that literally it's this big. I got 220 bucks on Amazon.
1:07:54
No Amazon. Amazon would be a great, would
1:07:57
be a great sponsor. Yes, we welcome Amazon as a
1:08:01
sponsor. I think, yeah, I, I, I ought to
1:08:04
find what to find. Start pimping out some Amazon
1:08:06
shit, and then we'll just have to start writing them letters.
1:08:10
Kind of like how we got Arizona. Are we going to send it by
1:08:15
carrier pigeon? Arizona, We just kept poking at
1:08:18
him every episode and he started watching it.
1:08:20
And then he freaking reached out and said that I'll be on your
1:08:22
show. There you go.
1:08:24
So, you know, it's that easy. You just got to, you just got to
1:08:27
poke the bull, poke the bear enough and shit happens.
1:08:31
Poke on. I got to make some phone calls.
1:08:34
Poke on. I got to make some phone call.
1:08:36
Yeah, exactly. So I'm Chris Dunham.
1:08:38
He's Mike Michaels. We're the Chris and Mike Show.
1:08:40
Thank you so much for listening to us.
1:08:42
You got about it before Christmas.
1:08:44
So I think our neck everybody pay.
1:08:48
Attention to Chris. Go ahead, pay attention to what?
1:08:50
Pay attention to Chris, it's sure.
1:08:52
Oh yeah, be kind. It's that kind.
1:08:55
Should be kind all the time but right now.
1:08:58
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
1:09:00
People are stressed, man. Remember, you're not alone.
1:09:03
Yeah, remember, you're not alone if you're if you're dealing with
1:09:05
some internal chaos, you know, reach out to people you know.
1:09:08
Social media is good for that too.
1:09:10
Just, you know, hey, just reach out.
1:09:13
Don't, don't, don't, don't battle your internal demons
1:09:17
alone. It's, it's it's, you know,
1:09:19
tomorrow is always a better day. So never think today is the day
1:09:23
that is is is is bad enough to make it go away.
1:09:28
Don't do that. Reach out to family, friends.
1:09:31
You'd be surprised. I have had random people reach
1:09:33
out to me about alcoholism and stuff, and I really appreciate
1:09:35
that because at least they're talking to somebody.
1:09:37
So don't be ashamed. Don't be afraid to talk to
1:09:40
somebody if you're feeling down depressed because too many
1:09:42
people get lost in the shuffle and you know they don't realize
1:09:46
how much they're loved when they're gone because they're
1:09:49
gone. So don't be that person.
1:09:51
That's all. We're both here.
1:09:52
If if you feel comfortable talking to us, that's awesome.
1:09:56
We've been there, done that. So we're not going to judge you.
1:10:00
Yep, Yep, no. Not even if you.
1:10:04
Even if you have 15 cats in your house and you know, whatever.
1:10:08
We won't see each other before Christmas, so Merry Christmas,
1:10:11
brother. So Merry Christmas, Merry
1:10:14
Christmas. Oh, that was good.
1:10:15
Then we did the top 11 things not to get your, your, your
1:10:18
people for Christmas. Because that.
1:10:19
That's. Which will be released on
1:10:20
Christmas. We'll see you after.
1:10:24
Brilliant. There you go.
1:10:26
We did that on purpose. Couldn't.
1:10:27
Have planned it any better if I tried?
1:10:29
No, we didn't. Couldn't have planned it any
1:10:31
better if I tried. So with that, you're going to
1:10:34
have some parting music as we as we graciously walk away and the
1:10:37
crowd goes wild. Merry Christmas to everybody and
1:10:47
be kind to each other and we will see you next week.
1:10:52
Peace. See you.
1:10:53
Bye Mike later. My friend, Merry Christmas to
1:10:58
you, brother.