Latest / Impact Ready / 102. The Fisherman & The Banker

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102. The Fisherman & The Banker · Impact Ready

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  Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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  your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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  Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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  energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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  make life truly meaningful. Get ready for.
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  Impact Hello, welcome to the show today.
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  Thank you for being here in this episode team, we are going to
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  talk about feelings, finding clarity about how we want to
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  feel in our lives because it is one of the most common things
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  that I work with people in coaching around.
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  It is one of the common themes is helping people get clear on
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  how they want to feel in their life and then actually getting
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  them to feel those feelings. And it seems like a really
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  simple thing like it would be very easy for somebody to answer
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  that question. How would you like to feel in
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  your life? And they would able to be able
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  to just answer the question straight away.
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  And the reality is they can't. Most people, they don't have
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  words for it. They've never really considered
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  it. They don't have a lot of clarity
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  on it. And then even if they do, they
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  have no idea how to get there because what is happening
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  currently in their circumstances often is not taking them to the
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  feelings that they would like to feel.
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  Achievement and reaching goals is often the backdrop to so many
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  of these conversations that I have with coaching clients.
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  I work with a lot of very driven, motivated, hard working
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  people. Many of them own businesses.
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  Many of them have worked for years to get to high positions
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  in corporate settings and I'm a huge fan of that.
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  I'm a believer that we as humans want to feel purposeful.
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  We need to feel purposeful and that we get so much out of
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  pursuing goals. We get a lot out of achievement
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  and it creates things for us that are way beyond just
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  material gains. It creates feelings like pride
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  and confidence and self esteem, resilience, grit, and improves
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  our ability to solve problems and to be critical thinkers,
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  etcetera, etcetera. There's so much positive stuff
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  that comes out of the pursuit of goals, the pursuit of
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  achievements. I love talking about this and
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  working with people on this stuff because I really feel like
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  when we're connected to a work that feels bigger than us, it
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  benefits us. Huge fan of that.
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  However, we can also get lost in this process of pursuing the
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  goals and the achievements. And this very much connects to
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  this conversation around feelings.
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  Our pursuit of goals, our pursuit of success.
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  It can take over our lives. And what happens is oftentimes
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  people will only see the lack of what they don't have when they
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  are lost in that pursuit. You might have heard me talk
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  about Benjamin Hardy's book, The Gap and the Gain.
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  I've referenced it in past podcasts.
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  But it's a book that describes how people can so easily get
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  caught up in the pursuit of their achievement that they are
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  constantly feeling like they're falling short in their lives.
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  Their eyes are always on the horizon, on the on the prize way
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  out there. And as they get closer of by
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  nature, the horizon shifts. It moves.
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  The goal posts are always moving and so those people, they never
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  truly feel worthy or successful and they live in this constant
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  state of lack and scarcity, which is a really hard place to
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  be in. As opposed to the gain.
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  Remember Benjamin Hardy describes the gap.
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  He also describes the gain where in contrast, people will be
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  working towards their achievements and their goals,
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  but they will stop to celebrate their wins along the way and
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  they will integrate those wins into their identity so that they
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  can grow with their successes. There's a distinction there.
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  And so often what I find with people is they're in the gap.
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  They are in the pursuit of their achievements and their goals and
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  they were, they're going hard for these things and it's great,
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  except they're getting lost in them.
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  And so they're only experiencing lack and scarcity.
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  And so when I asked them this question, hey, how do you want
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  to feel in your life? They say, God, I would, I would
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  love to feel joy. I would love to feel pride.
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  I would love to feel excitement. And I'll say to them, well, what
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  about all this stuff that you've accomplished, all these
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  achievements, all these goals that you've hit?
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  Where are the feelings there? And they say they don't live
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  there. I don't feel, I don't feel joy.
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  I don't feel pride, I don't feel successful.
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  And it's mind boggling because so many people have achieved so
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  much. And by any reference, they would
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  be considered a successful high performing person.
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  And yet they don't see it for themselves.
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  There's a disconnect there. And they get in this habit of
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  saying, you know, if only I can achieve the next thing, then
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  I'll feel this peace or this joy or this excitement or this
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  pride, whatever it might be. If only I could just get to this
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  point, then I'll feel these feelings.
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  And so in my mind, the question becomes, when have you done
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  enough? Like when have you done enough
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  to merit feeling the feelings that you want to feel?
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  When have you done enough? When have you achieved enough or
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  accomplished enough or gained enough credentials or experience
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  to be rewarded with the feelings that you truly want to feel?
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  There's a parable that you might have heard before.
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  It's been floating around for years.
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  I've seen it pop up on the Internet every once in a while.
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  It's called the banker and the fisherman.
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  And it goes like this. There's a banker at a pier of a
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  small coastal village and he sees a small boat with just one
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  fisherman. And the boat is docked.
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  And inside the boat, there were several large fish.
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  And the banker compliments the fisherman on the quality of his
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  fish. And he says, how long did it
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  take you to catch them? And the fisherman replies, only
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  a little while. And the banker says, why didn't
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  you stay out longer and catch more fish?
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  And the fisherman says, this is enough to support my family and
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  and meet my needs. The banker goes on to say, but
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  what do you do with the rest of your time?
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  And the fisherman answers, I sleep late, I fish a little.
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  I play with my kids, I spend time with my wife.
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  I walk in the village each night and I sip wine and I play guitar
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  with my friends. I have a full life.
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  And the banker says, well, you should spend more time fishing,
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  and with the proceeds you can get a bigger boat.
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  And with the proceeds from the bigger boat, you can buy several
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  boats. Eventually you'll have a fleet
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  of fishing boats, and you would be able to control the business
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  and the product. You would need to leave this
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  small village and move to a bigger city where you'll run.
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  You're expanding business. And the fisherman asks, how long
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  will this take? And the banker says 15 to 20
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  years. And then the fisherman says, But
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  then what? The banker says, then when the
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  time is right, you sell your business and you become very
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  rich. You can make millions.
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  And the fisherman says, well, then what?
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  And the banker says, then you would retire and you move to a
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  small fishing village where you would sleep late and you'd fish
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  a little. You'd play with your kids, you
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  spend time with your wife, and you walk in the village each
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  night sipping wine and playing guitar with your friends.
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  And there's so many. There's so many messages within
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  this one parable. But it takes me back to this
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  question. When have you done enough to
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  merit feeling the feelings you want to feel?
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  When have you achieved enough, accomplished enough, gained
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  enough credentials or experience?
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  When more is the subtle or not so subtle message and drive that
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  motivates most people? How do you feel content and get
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  access to the feelings that you want to have as a result of all
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  the achievement in your life? It's knowing that you have
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  access to it already. It's knowing that more is not
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  the only way to feel the feelings that you truly seek.
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  It's recognizing that enough is knowing when more adds nothing
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  extra. And when I think about what most
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  people tell me they want to feel, it comes down to a few
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  common things. Peace or ease, Joy and freedom.
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  Those are the big ones. Team peace, joy and freedom.
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  They come up again and again. And I think about life through
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  the eyes of the fisherman. Did he have those things?
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  Peace, joy and freedom? He did.
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  He had access to those feelings already.
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  And it's a reminder to me that I have access to those feelings
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  also. Yes, of course, I still have the
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  goals, the dreams, the achievements that I'd like to
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  make. I still have the impact that I'd
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  like to have, just like so many of my clients do that I
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  encourage that I love about them.
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  But these feelings I want to feel are not contingent on those
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  things, on those achievements, on those goals.
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  I can choose to feel freedom in every single day if I want.
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  I can choose to feel peace and ease within myself despite the
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  fact that there might be stressful circumstances
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  happening. I can choose to feel joy in a
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  dozen different ways every single day.
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  And that is my challenge to you this week is to ask yourself,
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  what is it that you want to feel in your life and can you start
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  to access that now? Don't wait to feel the feelings.
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  Don't live in the gap, as Benjamin Hardy would say.
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  Don't wait to allow yourself to feel what is truly important to
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  you. Because this life is so precious
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  and fleeting, and if you want to have the impact that you want to
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  have in your world, you have to take the opportunity to live big
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  and feel boldly. You are the one who?
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  Gets to decide. How you want to feel in your
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  life. So take advantage of that fact
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  and choose to start feeling it all now.
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  Don't wait, don't be stuck in the gap like so many people are
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  in this life. It is a constant source of
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  struggle for them and it's not something that you have to be
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  in. So this week I'm going to look
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  for a little bit more of the balance, the balance to the
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  achievements and the goals, but also making sure that I'm
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  tapping into the feelings that I want to be feeling every single
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  day of my life because it's always there.
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  We always have the opportunity and the honor and the privilege
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  to be able to feel those things. Now, that is my challenge to you
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  this week is to look at things through the eyes of the
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  fishermen and see what is already available to you in your
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  life right at this very moment. I hope this helps.
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  I hope this spurt on some insights for you and I hope that
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  you have an incredible week. Thank you for being here and
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  listening and thank you for being ready to impact.
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  Thanks for listening to Impact Ready.
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  I hope today's episode inspired you to own your impact and
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  recognize that you. Are powerful.
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  By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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  exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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  share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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  I truly. Appreciate you.
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  Thanks again for being here.