Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / PART 2. Your voicemails. I'm addicted to Limerence, How do I stop night time phone use, Fear of missing out on the big life experiences + More.

Transcript

PART 2. Your voicemails. I'm addicted to Limerence, How do I stop night time phone use, Fear of missing out on the big life experiences + More. · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:11
  Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to this episode. So this
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: is part two of My Head Noise. I did a
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: part one just before if you just listen to it,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: and that is where people write in their head noise questions.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: They email it to me and I read them out.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: And Part two is where people send in their voice notes.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: So you can do this via the websiteyfmpod dot com
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: and if you want to send your email in and
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: have be read it out, its info at dyfmpod dot com. Anyway,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: given that this is a part two, I'm not going
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: to go straight into any kind of life update or introduction.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I want to get straight into answering your questions and hopefully,
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: as always, my aim is that this can apply like
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: you can use this advice and apply it to areas
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: in your life as well. Okay, there's a lot to
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: break down. We'll got four to break down, so let's
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: get straight into it. We've got some US beans as
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: well loving my usban's are loving the podcast at the moment,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: so cheers to that. Okay, the first one, let's go.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Hey, alexis longtime listener here from twenty twenty one. I
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: absolutely love the pod and it has completely changed my
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: life and helped me to become a brand new person.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: So anyways, I just wanted to ask your opinion on
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: something with social media. I don't use my phone in
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: the morning. I wait like an hour two hours on
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: a good day, But when it comes to the evening,
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: I feel like I'm just as glued to my phone
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: as could ever be, Like I cannot help it. It's
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: like an addiction, Like I just keep reaching for my phone,
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: checking socials. I don't have notifications on they're all off,
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: but I'm constantly getting on Instagram and then switching accounts
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: and then going to Facebook, and it's like I just
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: can't stop. And it's driving me insane because I feel
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: like I am wasting my time. But it's like I
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: just can't help it. It feels like, so if you
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: have any advice at all on what to do in
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: the evenings for that, that would be amazing.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, great question. I think so many of us suffer
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: with this or suffer from this. You said it's like
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: an addiction. It literally is like an addiction. There's a
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: few things that's going on, So yes, there's the addictive
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: side of things and the habitual loop that you're in,
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: so it's like it's happening all the time. So not
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: only are you addicted to the actual behavior of being
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: on your phone, that putting it down just then sends
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: you back to picking up your phone again and closing
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: one up and opening another one. You're just back into
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: that loop of like all the apps. APAs apps, it's
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: obviously likely going to be affecting other aspects of your evening.
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: Maybe you're sleep, maybe your mood, maybe a lot of things.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: But then there's obviously the apps. So you got the
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: habit and the addiction, the addiction of the dopamine of
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: the app, the habit that you're doing it every night.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Because if it was like, oh, I found myself's doom
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: scrolling when I'm normally whatever, you probably wouldn't be so worried.
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: But you've got this habit of your old self or
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: the self up until today that does that every night.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Plus the addiction side of like the quick hits of
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: dopamine when you're using the app. That's one thing. The
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: other thing is you're doing great in the mornings, you're
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: not you know, switching on your phone or I mean
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: like switching on to you the app straight away first
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: thing in the morning. And it's the thing is that
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: in the morning, it is a lot easier to administer
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: will power or self control than it is later in
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: the evening. And that just comes down to this kind
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: of reserve that we have of like a decision making quota,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: this like willpower reserve that we all have, and for
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: most people, it just tapers and tapers and tapers, and
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: it gets a lot harder to do things in the day.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: That's why when you're trying to stick to a diet
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: or adhere to some sort of eating plan, it's a
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: lot easier to do it, and then at night you're
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: just like, ah my god, fuck the diet, let's just
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: eat what I want to eat, okay, because it's this
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: like I'm mentally fatigue. I don't want to have to
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: administer will power into the evening. I'm done, I'm tired, okay.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: So those these two things at play. Now. The next
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: thing is you also have to look at what is
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: going on when you do try and put your phone down.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of us think, okay, I'm going to
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: try and put my phone down, or my intention is
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: to put the phone down, but the alternative just isn't
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: that exciting. It's like, oh, I'll put my phone down
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: to read. Well, I'm not really that excited about a
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: book right now. I'm literally going to be forcing myself
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: to read. When I'm really addicted to my phone, I
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: really feel a lot more excited and it's more of
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: a hit when I'm on my phone. So I'm just
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: going to put my phone down. It's going to be
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: right there and I'm going to be trying to get
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: into this book that I'm not into or you know,
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: So you got to ask yourself what alternative have I
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: provided for myself? Then another question that you need to
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: ask yourself is when are the times where I noticed
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: that I haven't even touched my phone? And you will
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: notice that they are in the times of the highest
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: connection or where you're feeling the most fulfilled. So, for example,
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: if I do like a cooking night with my cousin,
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: you guys know that every Tuesday I get together with
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: my cars Well I think you know. I get together
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: with my cousin and we like try and cook because
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: we've always been shit cooks and we're trying to become
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: really good. Those nights I will film the cooking, but
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: I don't get on my social media. I don't even
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I forget that social media exists. It'll be late at
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: night and I go to check it, but I'm like,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: I've actually had the best night ever. I'm just doing
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: this out of habit. I don't need to check, and
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: then I end up just not checking it until the
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: next day because I'm so connected. I'm so fulfilled. I've
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: had such a like a wholesome night that really feeds
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: my soul, where I'm having fun, I'm working on an activity,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: I'm learning something, I'm with my cousin who's like my
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: best friend. We're just having such a good time. It's
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: so good for the soul that I don't think about it.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Could it be when you are, you know, maybe on
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: the phone to someone that you love and it's really entertaining.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Could it be when you're watching your absolute favorite movie
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: and you're like, oh my god, Like, when are the
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: times for you that you're like, not only do I
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: not reach for my phone, but I'm not remotely compelled
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: to reach for my phone that even if someone said,
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: do you want to check your Instagram right now, you'd
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm actually like, I'm really into what
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I'm doing right now, and this is going to help
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: you start to figure out how you can begin to
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: replace certain things, what you can start to do to
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: make yourself, you know, engage in other activities where you're
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: not so much engaging in your phone and in your
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: apps and in the social media and all of that
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, because that is when
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: you have the least amount of self control. So to
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: sit there on the couch and do nothing and administer
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: that's not going to happen. Okay, it's absolutely not going
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: to happen. So I want to come in and replace
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: this behavior for a much healthier behavior, one that obviously
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: is not leading into addictive behavior like actions, but it's
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: also really fulfilling, good for my soul. It's either contributing
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: to connection, it's contributing to growth or purpose, or I'm
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: earning something. But it's got to be entertaining. It can't
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: be more effort, because if you're going to replace this
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: to be like, well, I'm gonna fucking study for two hours,
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: that's not fucking tempting. You're like, I'm ti yed. That's
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: the point I get to the end of the day
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: and all I want to do is doom scroll. So
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: you've got to lean into what you already know about
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: how you're feeling. Okay, can't be something that's difficult. It
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: has to be relatively flowing or easy, or the effort
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: that is required is enjoyable effort. That's why for me,
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: like you know, hanging out with your friends, having a
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: nice conversation, watching your favorite rom com, reading a book
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: that you're into, drawing, doing a puzzle, things like that,
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: you need to be replacing the behavior. You can't just
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: remove it because that void is going to be so
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: fucking loud in your head and it's going to be
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: really hard to just do nothing. And like you're like resisting, resisting, resisting,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: it's not about removing, it's about replacing. Okay, Then you
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: also have to ask yourself, if I struggle to just
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: do a puzzle or cook or do these wholesome things
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: that Alexis tells me to do, You've gotta ask you
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: of what am I avoiding? Am I struggling to just
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: be alone with my thoughts? Am I terrified of being bored?
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: A lot of people are scared to be bored because
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: they don't actually know how to be bored. Properly. We
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: are so shit at being bored these days that we
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: don't realize how beneficial being bored is. That's where creativity happens.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: That's in the whole episode. I did like last week
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: about the defaultant mode network, or was it this week
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: about how that's like what's going on in your mind
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: in the background. If you're avoiding that, then you're the
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: person that needs to spend more time in it than
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: anyone else. You know, Like the thing that you avoid
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: is the thing that needs to be addressed. So if
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: you're like, well, I can't just sit there with my thoughts,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I can't just do it, then you need it more
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: than anyone else needs it. You need to allow yourself
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: to do something slower, to do something. It's just screams,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I'm addicted to something else and I don't want to
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: be alone with my thoughts. So you need to look
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: at it as I need to replace, and it's got
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: to be replaced with something that I realistically would stick
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: to do. I need to get out of the house.
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: Maybe I should be doing a yoga class just before bed,
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: so then I feel really fulfilled and I feel really
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: in touch by the time I get home I'm like,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: I could go on my phone, or i could just
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: like already go to bed now because it's closer to
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: the evening. You know, so you, but it is about replacing.
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: Hopefully that helped, and hopefully you can like use what
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: you understand about your own mind to realize that it
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: is an addictive pattern and you've got to kind of
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: beat your brain prior to it. But you sitting there
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: and just like white knuckling it to not grab your
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: phone is not the solution. Thank you for sending that
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: question in all right.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: Next one, Hi from California. I'm twenty six, and I
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: am feeling like I have a fear of missing out
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: and not the typical like oh, my girlfriends are going
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: out tonight and I can't make it, or like my
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: boyfriend wants to go out without me. It's not that,
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: it's more of bigger things like I have a fear
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: of missing out on traveling and life experiences and seeing
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: the world because I feel kind of stuck here. My
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: boyfriend has a really good state job, so he needs
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: to stay here for that, and I feel like that
• 10:03
  Speaker 3: really just ties into this area and I am like
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not in love with this area. And I'd love
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: to travel and live out in other states and explore,
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: and there's so much world out there, and like, how
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: the hell do you choose where to end up when
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: there's so much to see and you haven't seen any
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: of it. And I went to the UK and I
• 10:19
  Speaker 3: went to Europe over the summer and it was amazing,
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: and I came back feeling quite empty. I just felt
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: like I needed to travel more. And I am really
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: worried that I if I travel, I'll leave a really
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: good partner who I can see myself having kids with
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: one day and be married and settling down and doing
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: that life. But I also am worried that if I
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: do that, I'll get really resentful that I won't have
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: had that time to travel. And I feel like if
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: I were to die right now, I just feel like
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: there's still so much that I haven't done. And I
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: don't really know how to balance these. So if you
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: have any tips for like not feeling like your world
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: is apart when you feel like you're going to miss
• 11:02
  Speaker 3: out on a ton of life, I would greatly appreciate that,
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: because I'm losing my mind.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: Oh that is such a good question. I feel like
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: so many listeners would be able to relate to this
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: because you're like torn between basically like two versions of
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: how you could live your life. There's the version that
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: you have where you acknowledge that there is a lot
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: of good, Like you have a great partner. I mean,
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: you don't like where you live, but you know, you
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: can acknowledge that your relationship is great, it's healthy, You
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: probably have your health, I'm sure you have, you know, employment,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: There's probably a lot of things that if you were
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: to really focus on it, that you could see a
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: lot of good in and it could fulfill you in
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: many ways. Right. And then there's the other side of
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: your life where you're like, this is what I'm actually craving,
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: this is what I want, this is what I'm you know,
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: I I like you said, if I died, there's so
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: many things that would be left unseen or unexperienced or
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: all these things. You know, I don't want to get
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: to my deathbed and have these regrets. And this is
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: like the deathbed test kind of thing, like think about
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: it when you are I mean hopefully when you're in
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: your old age, not tomorrow. But it's this idea of
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: looking back and thinking, what would I have valued the most,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: And what would be my biggest regret? Hypothetically, if I
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: could put myself in the mind of my you know,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: old self, would it be I wish I did just
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: go and do that fucking trip. I wish I did
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: just you know, go for you know, one year abroad
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: or even just three months or whatever, or if I
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: had a system where I could be traveling more often
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: or whatever. Like you've got to ask yourself what would
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: be my biggest regrets in life? And some people can like,
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: really are the homebody that doesn't appeal to them. They
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: prefer to be at home, to be you know, to
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: create this like they're like a homebody. They have their
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: nest and they love it and that's really fulfilling. And
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: for other people, it's like I need to spread my wings,
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: I need to explore. I don't need to be grounded
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: in one location. I want to be seeing all these things.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: And the thing is that you can't force yourself to
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: be either one of those people. There are some people
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: that are like I feel like I have to be
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: out traveling and doing all these crazy things, but I
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: just don't want to. Then don't, and it goes the
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: other way like you shouldn't. You shouldn't feel like I
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: just have to suppress this feeling that I have, push
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: it down, down, down, and just really appreciate it, because
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: at the end of the day, I have a feeling
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: that you've felt this way for a long time. You've
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: known this about you. Then you've gone and explored it,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: and it's confirmed this belief that you have that you
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: feel like you are missing out because you are. You're
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: missing out on what you know you want and what
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: you know would be fulfilling to you. And that is exploration.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: That's like going to new places, exploring a new way
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: for living in different areas. So the conundrum here really
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: comes down to the relationship, because you've got to ask
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: yourself if I was single, would I be living in
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Europe or in like London any other country in Europe?
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Would I be abroad? I would imagine that your answer
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: would be yes. Okay. Now, I'm not saying break up
• 13:50
  Speaker 1: with your partner. Obviously you're extremely happy with your partner,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: but you have to look at like, how can I
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: work with what we've got here. I don't want to
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: leave my You've made that clear, and that's great. You've
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: got something you've got a good thing going, okay, So
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: you're like, how can we as a team work with
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: this because currently I'm the one who and you might
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: not even communicate this to your partner, so I don't
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: even know if you've even really opened up about how
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: you really feel. That's a whole other topic. But you
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: might be in a situation where you're like, whether I've
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: expressed this or not, I'm the one making the full
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: compromise here because I'm staying I'm living somewhere where I
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: don't want to live because of my partner's job, and
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: it's a good job for my partner and maybe a
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: good job for us whatever, But I'm the one who's
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: making the compromise here. So what you could do is
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: you could speak to your partner about what this could
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: look like, because I don't want you to get bogged
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: down with what is the norm with relationships around you.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: You've got to look at what's going to work for
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: the two of you, for the both of you to
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: get the most out of this relationship. And if you
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: think that staying here with him will cause you to
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: resent him and the relationship long term, than that's not
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: going to be the solution either. You can't just switch
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: off this flame inside you with a deep desire that
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: you want. It needs to be explored. And I'm not
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: saying move overseas and call it a day and just
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: do a long term relationship and that's it. But I
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: am saying, maybe you could pitch to your partner I
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: want to do three months abroad. And I might want
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: to do it now and then in like another two
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: years or in another eighteen months. But I need this.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: It would be I would be the best version of myself.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: I'd be happier, I'd have these big adventures to look
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: forward to. Maybe you could join me here or there
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: on one of them for the first couple of weeks.
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: But I need this to tap into who I really
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: am and what I really want. Now. I don't know
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: the dynamic of your relationship and if you would even
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: want that, but I think that's something that I one
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: hundred percent would be exploring. But my answer would not be, oh,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: just you know, be grateful for what you have, because
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: we as beings always want more. There's a difference between like,
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: you can still be extremely grateful for what you have
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: and want more. Okay, it's being grateful and having to
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: settle to have nothing more in your life are two
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: completely different things. And I do believe that you are
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: grateful because you're acknowledging the good things that you have. Okay,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: so you need to create a relationship that works for
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: both of you. It can't just work for one person.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: While you're sitting there thinking like, oh my god, this
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: is gonna be one of the biggest regrets of my life. Okay,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: you've got to go ahead and do that thing. My grandmother,
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: she's passed away. Fuck an absolute legend. My mom's mum.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Till like the year that she died, she was still saying,
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: I wish that when I was twenty I went to
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: nursing school. I regret not going to nursing school. And
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: she felt this way in her old age and she
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: was like, but I got married young, and you know
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I did all of this, but I wish I went
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: to nursing school. And I'm like, that is like, you
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: will have this thing in you for the rest of
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: your life if you don't do it. Basically, get your
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: partner to work with you, be like, work with me
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: on this. I will be the best version of myself
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: if I'm able to tap into my biggest dreams and
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: my biggest desires. I will have no resentment, I will
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: have a fulfilled life. I will show up as the
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: best partner, and the same will go both ways. So
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: my advice to you, and I don't know if it
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: works with your dynamic, is find a way, even if
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: it's like two months at a time, one month at
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: a time, find a way. But you need to be
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: tapping into this because you will be on your deathbed
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: being like, why the fuck didn't I just bite the
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: bullet and do it? Why couldn't we create our own
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: rules to live by. Don't be that person on the
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: year of their death when you're old being like, I
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: still regret not doing that thing, because most of our
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: regrets are in the not doing. It's not in the doing,
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: it's in the not doing. Okay, Hopefully that give you
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: some food for thought. And if you do end up
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: traveling and working something out with your partner, please send
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: an update because I'm dying to know about these people
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: that make these big decisions and big blaits of faith.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: All right, Number three.
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: Hi, Alexis, So, for as long as I can remember,
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: I've had a lot of limorent crushes. They seem to
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: be either pretty concert or maybe with a couple of
• 18:02
  Speaker 4: years of a gap between the next one. But it
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: just is such a high for me that I worry
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: that I've become addicted to it in a way, And
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: it's also so controlling over my life that I wish
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: I could just get that thrill in another way. But
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: there doesn't really seem to be a substitute that is
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: as exciting, And I'm not sure how I'm going to
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: get myself out of that loop because chasing someone seems
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: to also kind of beat down my self esteem because
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: I feel like I'm not as worthy and that they're
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: somehow above me, which is just icky. So if you
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: could think of something I could do differently, that'd be great.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Thanks so much, fucking great question. That is such a
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: good question. And you you are so aware of what's
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: already going on, knowing that it's an addictive loop, knowing
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: that it has to do with your relationship with yourself,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: you know, chasing like that. Everything you said was spot on,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and it absolutely is addictive. This limerent feeling is addictive
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: for many reasons, because a lot of limerens comes down
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: to really falling in love with this idea that you've
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: created of what this person could be and who they
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: could be and what they could represent in your life.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I've been there before as well, so I know exactly
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: how it feels. I've been there a few times as well,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: and it is very addictive because it's it's like a
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: high when you're in this like zone of like it
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: could be like this and it could be like that,
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm so in love with you, I think. And
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: then there's that like chase where there's a bit of validation,
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: even if for them it's a neutral response. To you,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: you'll clutch at straws and be like, well that could
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: be interpreted this and what you know. So the chase
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: is a thrill. It's like this adrenaline that you get
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: you're in love with this idea that you hold for
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: the person or what the relationship could be if you
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: ever and it is really hard to just snap out
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: of it because it's all consuming and it absolutely does
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: erode without even realizing it because you put this person
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: on such a pedestal, even though you more like put
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: the idea of this person on the pedestal because you
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: don't know them that well. That's the thing with limited relationships.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: We like to think that we know them that well,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: but we don't know them in a sense of dating
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: them because we're not dating them. It's different to know
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: someone as a colleague or as a friend or as
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: an acquaintance versus knowing someone as a partner, And so
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: we put this version of them on a pedestal. And
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: then because of that, we're willing to do what it
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: takes for it to work with them or like to
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: have the opportunity to be with them. We will like
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: do things that it may be even out of our
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: own character, just to cross paths with them or to
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: have that conversation. So it's very consuming. You end up
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: not prioritizing yourself anymore. And like you said, it's really
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: difficult to replace it with anything else because it's so
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: thrilling at the time. But that's what most addictions are.
• 21:08
  Speaker 4: Like.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: We will find something that we become addicted to, and
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: in that moment where it's giving you that high, that
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: emotional high, or in some cases people with you know,
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: chemical addictions, that chemical high, it feels like nothing can
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: replace it, right, But as we all know, there's a
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: lot of things that can replace social media addiction, a
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: chemical addiction, a romantic addiction. You just need to zoom
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: out and step away. So the first thing is identifying
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: number one when you're going through this limerent moment and
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: going whenever possible as cold turkey as possible. Then you
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: want to have a whole list of counter thoughts to
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: be like, all right, I'm in love with the idea,
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: not actually the person. I'm in love with this and
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: not actually this, Like have things to like knock that
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: person down a few pegs in your head, not to
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: their face. They've probably done nothing wrong, but knock them
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: down a few pegs, just to be like, all right,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: I need to like they're just a person. I'm just
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: a person. I need to stop looking at it in
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: this way, this unattainable way. And then you've got to
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: find things that you can be doing with your time
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: where you're getting real fulfillment. Okay, what are things that
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: are going to really make me feel like my self
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: esteem is at its highest, where I feel really good
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: about myself. And they're things that, in my opinion, it's
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: like working on a lot of personal growth, working on
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: like physical growth, learning things, doing activities, traveling, whatever it
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: is that floats your boat where you feel truly, truly fulfilled,
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: and when you're doing things that make you fulfilled, that
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: increases your self esteem, it increases your confidence, and it
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: also expands the possibility of making real connections. And I'm
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: not saying you've got to go and date someone to
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: get out of liberates, not at all. But I'm talking
• 22:40
  Speaker 1: about connecting with people all the time. I found that
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: the more confident I became with myself, the more I
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: was less likely to just fall in love in a
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: limerent way with someone, because a lot of limerens is
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: you're falling in love with this person, but you're not
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: factoring in who you are and if they even like
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: who you are, and if you would even be a
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: good match at all. The more confident you are with yourself,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: you're like, oh, we wouldn't be a good match because
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: they're into this. I'm not like that. You know, it
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: just wouldn't be a good match because of who I am,
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: and I'm not willing to change these sides about me
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: because it's just my personality and this and that. So
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: you're less likely to like mold yourself into who you
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: think they would want to be. And then that limerent
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: thing kind of starts to fade away, and it does,
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: it fades away, But you're spot on in saying that
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: the more you engage in it, the more it feels
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: like there's nothing that can replace it. That's any addiction.
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: So it is an addictive loop that you get stuck
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: in cold Turkey. Number One, Find statements that you can
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: say to yourself that kind of knock that person off
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: the peg. Just be really aware of every time you
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: start dabbling into it, being like, it's not them, it's
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: an idea of created in my head, of them, And
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: then what can I be replacing this one? So I
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: can actually feel fulfilled, because an addiction makes you feel
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: pleased in the moment, whereas working on something for yourself
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: makes you feel actually fulfilled within yourself. I hope that
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: helped I genuinely find that limerens is one of the
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: hardest things to snap out of, like quickly. So it's
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: just a lot of awareness. It is a journey, but
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: you will see like when you do step out of
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: it and look at it from the other way, you're like,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: oh my god, I can see so many toxic things
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: that I was doing and I was putting I really
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: wasn't prioritizing myself in so many things, and it's really
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: nice to be able to step out and look at
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: and be like, I'm on the other end now, you know,
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: and I feel really fulfilled in things that I'm doing
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: for myself because that feeling of nothing can replace it
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: is literally just that. It's just a feeling. There are
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: many things that can replace it and feel so much better.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: It just doesn't feel like you're pulled to those things
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: right now because you're stuck in this like vortex, being
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: addicted to that thing. Thank you so much for sending
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: that through. Like I've fucking been there. I know exactly
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: what it's like and it's so fucking annoying. Okay, last one.
• 24:56
  Speaker 5: Hay Alexis, I have been listening to your podcast for
• 24:59
  Speaker 5: a while now. I absolutely love it. It's helped me
• 25:02
  Speaker 5: so much. I actually have changed while I'm going to change.
• 25:06
  Speaker 5: I work in a corporate job and I've just applied
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: at UNI next year to study nursing, which is completely different.
• 25:13
  Speaker 5: I'm super excited, So thank you so much. You give
• 25:15
  Speaker 5: me the confidence to do that. My question, or well, yeah,
• 25:20
  Speaker 5: I guess the question is is there a difference between
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: anxiety and having like a gut feeling because I often
• 25:29
  Speaker 5: see things, probably too influenced by the Internet, but I
• 25:34
  Speaker 5: often see things online and it's like trust your gut feeling,
• 25:37
  Speaker 5: trust your intuition, and everything like that. And I'm someone
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: who does get anxious. So I am a highly anxious individual,
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: and I find that I'm not sure if it's a
• 25:50
  Speaker 5: gut feeling or if it's anxiety. I feel like sometimes
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: i go into situations and I question myself whether I'm
• 25:56
  Speaker 5: right because I am an anxious person. Am I just anxious?
• 26:01
  Speaker 5: Or should I be trusting my gut like? Is a
• 26:04
  Speaker 5: gut feeling an actual thing? Is there science behind it?
• 26:07
  Speaker 5: I just want to know if there is a different
• 26:10
  Speaker 5: feeling between anxiety or a gut like intuition.
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: This is an excellent question. I have a feeling I
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: have addressed this in one of my episodes, and if
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: I can remember which episode, I'll also link it. I
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: just don't know if it was a full episode though,
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: But great question, because yes, there is a difference, thankfully,
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: between anxiety and intuition or this gut feeling. Now, the
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: only issue here is that we are so good at
• 26:41
  Speaker 1: ignoring our intuition and this gut feeling that it takes
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: a little bit of practice to get good at recognizing
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: it straight away, but it's not that hard to do,
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: so it's fine. The main difference when you read up
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: on it, when you look into it, you're going to
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: notice that. The main difference is that anxiety often comes
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: with a lot of overthings thinking, and anxiety is kind
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: of like this. It's more of an intense feeling. It's
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: an overthinking, it's a frantic and it is fear based.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Anxiety is fear based. It's this like, this needs to change,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: this is not right, something should be happening, This should be,
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: it isn't it should should like. That's anxiety now. Sometimes
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: and a gut feeling is more not an overthinking. There
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: isn't much thinking thinking thinking. It's more like a deep
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: sense of knowing. And the gut feeling can be for
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: the good or for the bad. Anxiety is almost always well, actually,
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: it is always fear based. Okay, Anxiety is always negative intuition,
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: gut feeling. It could be good or bad. You could
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: have a gut feeling to be like now I'm booking
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: that flat, I'm fucking doing it. I just know it's
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: the right thing, or to be like now I'm gonna
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: go up and you know, have that connection with that person,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go and do that thing, or I'm gonna
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: for this thing or I And it could also be
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: something like this isn't right this date that I'm on,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: it's just not right. I need to leave, I need
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: to get the fuck out of here, or I don't
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: want to get into that taxi, or I don't want
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: it whatever, Like it's a gut feeling off. I haven't
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: over analyzed it. I haven't thought they're thinking. I'm mean
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: an it's just a knowing. And the reason it's this
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: knowing is because it's this deep feeling that saying this
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: does or this does not align with what my values
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: and my morals are. Okay, So what deep down I
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: think I truly believe to be right or wrong? Is
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: this aligning or is it not okay? Whereas anxiety is
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: more like a frantic thing. Now, because we're so good
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: at ignoring ourselves and forcing us to do things that
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: we don't want to do or just you know, not
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: really listening, it's it's sometimes quite hard to pull them
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: apart and identify what's a gut feeling to avoid something
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: negative versus I'm anxious and I should just push past
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: anxiety and do that thing. Okay. So one of the
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: main things that you need to do is you've got
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: to get extremely clear on what are the things that
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: you align with, what do you morally agree with, what
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: do you value the most. So, for example, when it
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: comes to relationships, when you are very clear on what
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: it is that you are drawn to, what you are
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: willing to put up with, what you don't want to
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: put up with, what kind of people you want to
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: talk to, what people you don't want to talk to.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: And I'm not even talking about from a fear based perspective.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about like, do I need to be in
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: this position westing my time? They're just not my people,
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: you know? Do I need to be engaging with this?
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Do I need to be? So it's like the clearer
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: you are with all that kind of stuff, the easier
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: it is to be like, oh, yeah, this is my intuition,
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: being like this is not aligning versus this is aligning.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: If it feels a little bit scattered, if you don't
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: really have clarity on what kind of relationships you're willing
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: to like have or not have in your life. Then
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: it can sometimes get blowed with anxiety. So I feel
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: like basically in a nutshell. My answer is gut feeling
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: should feel like a knowing. It shouldn't be this question
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: in question in question, in questioning. It is not always
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: fear based. It could be for the good, it could
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: be for the bad. It's a lot calmer. It's not
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: this frantic, neurotic feeling. It's this settled feeling of like, nah,
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: not for me, or yep, I'm doing it. I'm just
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: gonna do it. For example, when I this is like,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: because I want to give you an example of the
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: gut feeling to go and do something. When I was
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: with my toxic fucking carreze cat for partner, and I
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: had this opportunity to go to the United States for
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: three months, okay, and he kept threatening, being like, well,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: if you go, we could never be together and it
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: just wouldn't work and this and that. Even though I
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: was pushing and pushing and pushing to stay together. While
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I was gone, I remember people saying to me, but
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: are you willing to give up the relationship for this trip?
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Like what if you go on the trip and you
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: break up and that's done. And I kept saying, I
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: don't know what I'm willing to do. I just know
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: I have to go. I know I have to go.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: And I remember even being able to say like deep down,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: And the thing is that is that was my intuition.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: My intuition was saying, get the fuck away from this
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: really unhealthy person. And it was almost this subconscious thing
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: of like, get the fuck out of the country, go
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: get away from him. And I was heartbroken when we
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: broke up. I was devastated, but it's like I knew
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: I had to go. That is an example of intuition.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: And everyone kept saying, but like, but you guys are
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: going to break up and you're so devastated, would you
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: be willing to risk it? And I wouldn't even answer
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: the question. I'd be like, all I know is that
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: I have to go. I have to go. So, if
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: you can identify times in your life where you felt
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: that way. It could be on much smaller things as well,
• 31:36
  Speaker 1: but where you feel pulled to do something against all odds,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: or you feel like, nah, I'm not doing this, this
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: is wrong for me. Try and identify as many moments
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: of like oh yeah, that's what it felt like. It
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: just felt like an all knowing this. My body knows.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: That is the difference to that and anxiety. Anxiety is
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: up here, it's heightened. It doesn't feel good in the
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: body intuition, even for the bad things feel good in
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: the body feels right okay, And that is because it's
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: aligned with your deep sense of what is right and
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: what is wrong from it like a subconscious level. Hopefully
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: that gave you the answer. Guys, Thank you so much
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: for sending in your voice notes. I love them so much.
• 32:14
  Speaker 1: I love them so much, Love you guys. And yeah,
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna try and keep doing a balance between the
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: written ones and the voice notes because they're just equally
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: as exciting for different reasons. That is all for today.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: Go forth and be strong, my little beans, and as
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: always remember bekind to yourself, become to your brain. Don't
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: take shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit from
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: your And as always remember don't take shit from anyone,
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: and as always remember be kind to yourself, be kind
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: to your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and especially
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: don't take shit from yourself. Dun't it