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Episode 10 - We made it to 10! · Three Damned Dudes

0:36
The. Welcome to the Three Damn Dudes
0:39
podcast, brought to you by Rifle and Ratchet Refinishing.
0:43
Rifle and Ratchet's located in Taylor, MI and is a veteran
0:46
owned and operated shop providing Sarah coat and laser
0:49
engraving services. Whether it's rust, corrosion,
0:51
wear and tear, scratches, or you simply don't like the color,
0:55
they do everything from factory finishes to custom camo and they
0:59
make your dream a reality to shoot.
1:01
But it's not just firearms, it's also automotive parts, game
1:04
controllers, golf clubs, that your neighbors annoying dog
1:08
potentially, I guess really anything you can fit in his
1:12
oven. Their goal is to make your
1:15
dream. It's not to make your dream.
1:18
Their goal is to make you say wow when it comes out of the
1:21
case. And no, Jimmy, I'm not going to
1:23
say come, come, come at the end of it.
1:26
That's gross. We're not a family show, but
1:29
that's gross. I think that's the best it's
1:32
going to get. I you at least messed up a few
1:34
times while I was typing it out. That's because I started paying
1:38
attention to what you were typing and not reading the
1:40
words. You had Stalag sights on the
1:43
mind. Yeah, I've just Stalag tight to
1:46
the ceiling, man. Rock hard Stalag tights at Ram
1:50
Ranch. Anyways, this is fucking episode
1:54
10, boys. We're hitting double digits
1:56
right now. Mile marker.
1:58
Didn't think we'd last this long.
2:00
I I mean in all fairness, I always say that after every
2:04
time. Yeah, that's.
2:06
So that way when they're disappointed and really not they
2:10
when she's disappointed, I go, hey, I didn't think I'd last
2:13
this long. And then I'm at least less
2:16
disappointed about how long I didn't last.
2:19
So. Through them last time.
2:22
It's the biggest it's ever been. What do you want me to do?
2:25
All right, boys, what are we drinking water?
2:28
Miller Lite still. Booker's still.
2:31
I still can't believe you didn't know who Booker T was.
2:33
I was rewatching that or re listening to that.
2:37
Ah yeah like can you dig it? Suck it went right over your
2:40
head dude. It did.
2:42
It did. And I'm, I'm not going to
2:45
apologize for that. I'm not sorry.
2:47
And you know what? It just, it is what it is.
2:49
I understand that I have character flaws in this life,
2:53
and that's fine. OK.
2:56
I I'm not a perfect man. I've got a subpar pee pee and
3:02
I've got anger problems. So, I mean, I don't know what, I
3:06
don't know what you want me to do.
3:07
Because you see, the thing about my Dick is it's short, but it's
3:14
skinny. Yeah, see ya.
3:18
Mine's short, but it's not skinny.
3:20
I was fucking dubbed the cheese wheel, dude.
3:24
I may not, I might not reach the end of the tunnel, but I'll fuck
3:27
the walls up, you know what I mean?
3:28
But. Jimmy on that one can't touch
3:31
the bomb of a tunic and buck and sure shit blow out the sides.
3:34
The logistics of that are are mentally terrifying.
3:38
You're welcome for that image. Could you imagine a Wiener
3:41
shaped like that? Just a pancake Dong.
3:44
Let's look it up. I want flapjacks.
3:48
Would you flip that up or down in your pants though?
3:51
Why is Pancake Weiner in my search history?
3:55
OK, well. It's going to be that kind of.
3:59
Awesome. Welcome to episode 10.
4:01
We have things to talk about. If we ever get to them.
4:05
It's a totally different story. We all three got our 24 and Me
4:09
results back a couple days ago. Turns out 23andMe was never the
4:17
answer for us. Yeah, let's get into the recaps.
4:22
Speaking of 24 and me, my nine month old son was infatuated by
4:31
playing with his noodle at the dinner table the other day.
4:34
Just sitting there. Just sitting there, doodling his
4:37
noodle around. Now when you say noodle, do you
4:39
mean his head or do you mean you mean not as you mean the other
4:45
thing you. Mean the other one.
4:46
What the fuck? We had spaghetti.
4:50
What is wrong with you? He's nine months old.
4:52
That's how we get not to Episode 11.
4:58
I was just thinking if he's your son.
5:01
Yeah, and you break into my house, suck my Dick, call me
5:08
gay, What the hell? What is that from?
5:13
I don't know, I had another captain that I worked with at
5:16
some point who that was his go to thing and it I knew to expect
5:21
it. It got me every fucking time
5:23
though. Second, you sure?
5:27
OK, well then say the thing then.
5:29
There was a why I don't want to repeat it, but there was a a Bo
5:33
Burnham joke about that that was funny.
5:35
And then Dane Cook had one too. About, about about that.
5:42
And the punchline was hurry up and finish and get the fuck out
5:45
of here basically. Yeah, caveat to my previous
5:52
statement. I'm sure that's from something.
5:54
I have no idea what it is, but I guarantee you that is not
5:56
original. But over this last week, I was
6:01
personally attacked several times by Facebook's algorithm
6:06
sending me some fucking depressing ass poetry.
6:10
I remember those. Yeah, yeah, I meant I had this
6:20
pulled up and on my phone. Freaked the hell out.
6:24
Yeah, then. Here I sit, broken hearted, came
6:27
to shit but only farted. No.
6:29
So this is from a page called Daily Elevate.
6:34
It hurts to stay alive out of kindness, not desire, carrying
6:38
days forward simply because your absence would echo too loudly in
6:42
the lives you protect, even while your own heart begs gently
6:50
for rest. Just shit like that.
6:52
Man is like every day. I had like 7 or eight of those.
6:56
Just every 3rd or 4th reel it was like, oh hey by the way, go
7:00
fuck yourself. I'm like sick.
7:02
Thanks Facebook. Thanks.
7:04
That's that's what I needed. That's what I wanted.
7:07
Thank you. Thank you for that.
7:08
So, you know, since misery loves company, I had to send that to
7:11
Gavin and he had some choice words for me in response.
7:15
Yeah. And last thing.
7:17
Well, two last things. I I am playing single dad this
7:22
week and that is super duper fun.
7:25
So send help and Jameson, please.
7:33
And last thing, we bought a truck because I'm tired of
7:37
getting stuck trying to get up the hill to my house.
7:42
Yeah. So now I've got AI now once
7:46
again have a 2017 Ram 1500, so yeah.
7:53
When was the last time you had one of those?
7:55
2018 trucks all is a decade old. It's fine.
8:01
It gets up and down the hill. I don't care.
8:03
All right, Gavin, you got a recap?
8:06
Anything fun spicy happened? You spend like 73 hours at the
8:10
VA for anything. Yes, as a matter of fact I did
8:13
spend an ungodly amount of time at the VA for a single fucking
8:18
appointment, but that's not what I'm going to get into because
8:24
that reveals way too much about my medical life.
8:27
But regardless I spend too much time at VA anyways.
8:32
But that was just an All in all bad day.
8:34
Supposed to go there just for a primary care check up and it
8:38
devolved into running around the VA doing fucked on other things
8:43
that I wasn't expecting to do that day.
8:45
So for the most part now day there's been pretty easy and
8:52
haven't had any huge outliers or anything interesting to tell.
8:58
Well, not only am I happy to hear that, but I'm sorry to hear
9:02
that. Yeah, my life's boring as fuck
9:05
so. For now.
9:08
For now, but for. That, yeah.
9:12
Or worse. Wait until you wait until you
9:14
move back up to Maryland. Oh boy, yeah, I'm sure that'd be
9:20
so much fun. We would get fought every day.
9:24
Oh yeah, 100%. Yeah, All right, Jimmy, what do
9:27
you got for us, bud? I think we need to do a whole
9:30
episode, not today, obviously, but on the VAI think there's
9:35
plenty to talk about, man, just the whole system, the whole I've
9:40
heard so much shit about the VA dude.
9:45
Like, it seems to be like a huge gripe that everybody who is
9:50
formerly former, formerly active in the in the military, they,
9:55
that's something that they bitch about, you know?
9:57
All the former active guys. Yeah.
10:00
Yeah, feel like there's a word for that.
10:03
Yeah. I, I will say I have not been in
10:09
the, under the, the purview of the VA long enough to really
10:17
echo a lot of those sentiments that I have also heard.
10:21
So I think we'd have to bring somebody on to to talk about
10:24
that, depending on how much Gavin wants to talk about it or
10:28
what he feels like he he can add to that.
10:31
Honestly, like I kind of have to echo that I haven't had that
10:37
many complications with the VAI, haven't had really any horror
10:41
stories or anything like that. Anything that happens is just
10:46
kind of when shit gets time consuming.
10:48
You know, you go there for an appointment at a certain time
10:52
and then you're waiting an hour to be seen.
10:57
But I haven't gotten any horror stories like of my own of like
11:01
bad docs or bots, surgeries, anything like that.
11:04
Like, yeah, I mean, you don't go into it expecting the world.
11:11
Like you're not going to be disappointed, but there's
11:15
nothing like that bad about it in my.
11:18
Experience. I mean honestly I I would not be
11:23
cool with the VA cutting into my spine to fix my back but I let
11:27
them cut into my nut sack so like I mean right Like hell.
11:35
I clearly trust them enough. Yeah, there's no fine line.
11:40
Let's. Let's spill back the onion there
11:42
a little bit. The goal is to make them not
11:44
work. So really, I mean, they could
11:46
fuck that up all the way. And as long as the end result is
11:49
they don't work, I mean, hey, that's a, that's a tactical
11:52
success. Hey, so we replaced your nuts
11:56
with a potato, but it still serves the same purpose right?
12:02
It won't work. But you're nuts.
12:04
They could charge an iPhone now, so do with that information,
12:08
which you will. Well, we had some complications.
12:11
We turned your stud into a spud. Oh no.
12:14
Oh. Speaking of studs and spuds, I
12:19
sized up again today in my ear holes.
12:23
I'm now at 7 sixteenths, so that's a fun thing.
12:27
Also, Gavin, when you get to roughly around that point, keep
12:32
in mind that sizing up with something that's got double
12:38
flares not super cool. Yeah, I wouldn't imagine that's
12:44
why. I'm.
12:44
Just going to like stop at 0 or 00.
12:50
That's what I told myself, and then I looked at the hole in my
12:53
ears in the mirror and went, oh, little guy, little.
12:57
They're so tiny. How you had a hard you had a
13:01
hard time using the tunnels to size up.
13:05
I I am beyond tunnels that I'm not OK.
13:08
I'm not beyond tunnels. I am past where I'm going to use
13:11
tunnels to size up and instead of getting a single flare plug
13:15
like I have had, I got a double flare plug to, you know, just
13:20
fuck around and find out. And there's a way to, there's a
13:25
way to do it like you get one 1/2 of it in and then you kind
13:30
of like force pop the other half and at an angle and.
13:33
You just get one of these silicones, you fold it in half.
13:38
Yeah. You just put it in like that and
13:43
just open it up, it'll go. Yeah, that'd be great.
13:48
But this, this is stone. You got to get a silicone 1 is
13:53
what I'm saying. I yeah, I I get that.
13:55
That is the linchpin in the whole fucking operation here.
14:00
I probably should have gone silicone.
14:03
Go to go to Amazon, spend the I think I, I think I got like a 12
14:08
pack for like 7 bucks of really good tunnels actually of
14:12
silicone ones and they're they're double flared.
14:14
But yeah, that's the easiest way to.
14:17
Yeah, but I got them in. I'm scared to take them out, but
14:21
they're in. It probably burned.
14:26
Nah, it wasn't bad. I mean, it was like sizing up
14:30
normally is. I just got scared because I was
14:34
a little bitch. I remember when I ate, when I
14:36
remember the days of using tapers, not having mineral oil,
14:39
just using spit, just putting spit on it and forcing it
14:44
through. Just using chunky bleach.
14:48
Yeah, yeah, I use Cam. Just using a little.
14:51
Suit to wedge it through do. You want low sodium?
14:56
No. Oh.
15:00
Man, the first time I stretch my ear holes I called Paula Deen.
15:03
I use fucking butter. Oh God, Paula Deen.
15:06
All right. Any saved rounds for for recaps?
15:10
Anybody got anything else? I didn't do mine yet.
15:13
I was about to say Jimmy didn't do his recap.
15:17
In my head, Jimmy's recap is going to lead into the first
15:20
topic, so we're OK. Let me rephrase that, Gavin.
15:23
You got anything else? Nope, I'm good.
15:25
Mike, do you got anything else? Nope.
15:29
Sick. All right, Jimmy.
15:32
All right, so I'm getting sick again, so that's cool.
15:37
We we got the plague hitting my house have for over a week
15:46
started with some it started out wild, got the double dragon,
15:53
which is I ran ironic because we just talked about how puking
15:57
isn't that bad, right? And then I woke up Friday at
16:04
5:00 in the morning just not feeling good and immediately
16:09
puking. And then from puking, I'm
16:13
shitting. Just not a good time, right?
16:17
And I end up my son ends up getting it.
16:20
Everybody got it, Everybody got it.
16:23
But it has like weird, weird symptom.
16:25
Everybody's got got it a little bit differently.
16:29
Maddie's, it all kind of started the same for everybody.
16:33
The double dragon and then turns for Maddie, it turned into
16:37
stuffy nose and then difficulty breathing and her burning lungs
16:41
and everything. Her son's face swelled up.
16:44
He had a fever, he was diarrhea, no puking.
16:49
Her other son coughing, wheezing, fever.
16:53
And now my son is fatigued fever double dragon.
17:02
And it's just, it's been miserable, dude.
17:04
And now I'm getting all stuff he knows all of a sudden.
17:07
And I've been, I thought I got by it.
17:11
I, I, I started getting better. And Friday was miserable.
17:15
Saturday was miserable, Sunday was fine, Monday was fine.
17:19
And now all of a sudden I got the sniffles.
17:21
So we'll see where it's going. But yeah, that's a lot of, a lot
17:24
of a lot of fun, man. Having the plague.
17:28
That sounds like a super shitty time.
17:31
Yeah, Yeah, you could say that. Yeah, it kind of does.
17:36
But I will say this, there is a huge so it sucked because so
17:40
Sunday night I had lasagna. So Monday morning puking up
17:46
lasagna was awful. Oh my God, Oh my God.
17:51
And then I thought like I had gotten through it.
17:54
I was like, all right, I'm going to go to work.
17:55
And I went to work and they had doughnuts.
17:59
So I had a Boston cream doughnut and started throwing up again.
18:04
Significantly better. Highly recommend Boston cream.
18:09
Boston cream doughnut puke over fucking over lasagna puke.
18:14
Fucking Garfield cat puke. Yeah fucking that shit was
18:19
terrible. That turned my Friday into a
18:22
Monday for sure. But.
18:25
Man. But I do kind of, as you were
18:30
saying about one of my topics leading into a discussion, I,
18:35
you know, how this, this, this podcast is about reaching out to
18:40
your friends that you haven't seen in a long time and just
18:43
checking on your people and making sure they're good and
18:45
stuff like that. And I did that.
18:48
I, I started to realize, you know, I've got a lot of friends
18:53
out there that I don't keep in touch with on a regular basis.
18:56
Like I remember when I, when me and Maddie got together, I was
19:00
telling her how many friends I have.
19:01
I was like, I have a ton of friends.
19:03
And then I start to realize, man, she hasn't met any of my
19:06
friends. And come to think of it, I
19:07
haven't hung out with any of my friends.
19:10
Like, you know, I don't, I don't, I barely talk to any of
19:14
them. And I'm like, damn.
19:16
So I, so I started like going up and down the list.
19:18
I was like, I need to, I need to do better as a friend and start
19:22
talking to people. And so I reached out to a friend
19:25
that it, it had been almost a year since I've talked to him
19:28
and it's, and I've been friends with this guy for years, like
19:32
right around high school, like long time spent a lot of time
19:37
playing Xbox with him, hung out with him in real life plenty of
19:41
times, tons of times considered him really good friend, you
19:45
know, so I call him up. I seen that he was on discord
19:51
and I, I was like, you know what, I'm just going to call him
19:54
up. So I, I did.
19:56
And now we're talking and it's a good, it's a good, it's a good
20:00
conversation man. And tell him about what's going
20:03
on in my life. He's telling me about what's
20:05
going on in his life. And then somehow politics got
20:09
brought up. I don't know how I, I really
20:13
don't remember how. I'm not really a political
20:15
person, so I don't usually bring it up.
20:20
I consider myself to be an extremely.
20:23
Rational person. I can sit with somebody who has
20:29
completely different views than me and get along with them just
20:31
fine and even try to see things from their point of view and not
20:35
tell them they're wrong. Like I'll actually genuinely try
20:38
to see what their what their perspective is to see if maybe
20:41
I've got it wrong, which I wish people were like that.
20:48
This friend was not like that at all.
20:51
And he took me off guard with it.
20:54
We started getting into like the state of the country and he was
21:00
completely hates what's going on with, with the current
21:03
establishment, which, you know, I don't blame him.
21:05
I, you know, the, the world's in a really weird spot right now.
21:09
And I started talking to him and telling him about how I wasn't
21:13
really liking the way things were going down and everything.
21:16
And I was, I was trying so hard to find a middle ground with
21:19
him. And it was, he was bringing up
21:21
things. And I was like, I was like,
21:24
yeah. But you also need to keep in
21:26
mind that this is happening as well.
21:28
And this is important to keep in mind because it's also part of
21:31
the same picture that we're looking at.
21:33
He's like, no, that doesn't matter.
21:34
It's only this. And I go, no, it doesn't.
21:39
You, you definitely got to look at it big picture, man.
21:41
I was like, there's, there's a, there's a lot of things that
21:44
are, there's a lot of cause and effect things that are going on.
21:47
And the reason this stuff is going on is because stuff in the
21:50
past went on. And I was like, there's a
21:51
reason, but basically I was like, it, it, it's worth, it's
21:55
worth mentioning that like I was just trying to point out, just
22:00
trying to trying to like talk to him about it and, and just
22:03
explain to him, you know, like there, you can't just look at it
22:06
black and white, like there's got to be a middle ground
22:08
somewhere. And basically he, he more or
22:11
less told me that if I didn't agree with him word for word
22:16
that he's like, I seriously, Jimmy, he's like, I hate to be
22:18
this guy. He's like, but at this point, if
22:21
you don't agree with me, we can't be friends.
22:23
And I'm like, what? He's like, he's like, honestly,
22:28
dude, he's like, I, I can't, he's like, he's like at this
22:31
point, like if you don't agree with me, like, like I, I
22:34
honestly, I can't be friends with you.
22:35
He's like, if, if the next words out of your mouth and I'm not
22:39
going to, I'm not going to bring the debate up on this podcast.
22:42
You know, that's not, I don't really want to be that guy and
22:45
talk politics and stuff like that, but I can't stress enough
22:48
that I was, I was so in the middle.
22:53
Like I was willing to like be like, no, you're absolutely
22:56
right. I agree with you about this, But
22:58
we should also keep this in mind too.
23:00
Like it's, you know, like I, I was very middle man on it and
23:05
even that wasn't enough. And he was like, he's like, I
23:07
can't beat the facts. Words out of your mouth aren't
23:09
this, this and this. We can't be friends.
23:12
I was like, we need to just step back then.
23:15
I was like, not as friends. I was like, just as a
23:18
conversation. I was like, we need to step
23:21
back. I was like, I don't know how we
23:22
got on this topic. I don't know why we got on this
23:26
topic. I was like, neither me or you
23:28
are going to solve any of the issues that are going on in the
23:31
world today. I was like, I don't know why
23:34
you're so passionate about your opinion to where you feel like
23:39
that if I have a different opinion, we can't be friends
23:41
about it or be friends anymore. I was like, I'm going to tell
23:44
you this right now, man. I was like, in no world will I
23:50
ever say to you that if you don't agree with me, I won't be
23:54
friends with you. I was like, because to me our
23:57
friendship is worth so much more than my ego that you need to
24:02
take a step back and realize what you just said to me.
24:06
I was like, because you're talking about years and years
24:10
and years of friendship that you're just going to piss away
24:14
because of a fucking video you saw on Facebook with because of
24:19
a, because of a, because your so-called side has a stance on
24:26
something. And if I have a different stance
24:29
that in this case, we shared the same opinion.
24:33
I was just standing in a slightly different position than
24:36
he was and he was ready to throw our friendship relief.
24:40
How are we in this position as a country to where like it's
24:46
gotten that tense, man, it's crazy, absolutely fucking crazy
24:51
that we're we're we're that we're this stressed out and
24:54
worked out, worked up about things like it.
24:56
Like I was thinking about this. I was in the shower, I was
24:58
having these are my shower thoughts, man.
25:03
Think about the like the, the, the Super Bowl, man, think about
25:07
like how enraged like the world was that Bad Bunny was going to
25:12
be performing at the halftime show.
25:13
Like that's the end of the world, dude.
25:16
It's a fucking football game. It's a concert at a football
25:20
game, and we're going to throw a fit because God forbid he speaks
25:24
another language because he's from another country.
25:28
And like, at least he said God Bless America at the end.
25:32
Kudos to him. I respect that, you know?
25:34
But like, I was thinking about this, like, we're getting this
25:37
worked up. And not only like are we getting
25:40
this worked up, but the opposing side, because the opposing side
25:44
is like, we need our own halftime show.
25:47
Let's get a far opposing person. Let's get fucking Kid Rock out
25:51
here and let's have our own fucking halftime show because
25:56
fuck the other guy. Fuck that side we know in our
25:59
own halftime show. When did we get to this point as
26:03
a country to where that's like why?
26:07
It's just crazy, man, You know what I mean?
26:11
Dude, I'm convinced that that life after really life post
26:17
COVID is just like, it's the weird throwaway season of Earth
26:25
that the aliens like they're watching it, but they're like,
26:28
well, yeah, I mean, this season sucks ass, but the next one will
26:31
be better. We just got to drive through the
26:34
Detroit. They lock the windows when they
26:36
pass by. But like I'm, I'm convinced that
26:40
we're just, we're all living in a fucking psyop right now.
26:44
Thank God. Like I think my favorite
26:47
conspiracy theory is the one that the Mayans were right and
26:51
the world, it really did end in 2020.
26:55
And what we're living in now is just like it shifted into a
26:59
parallel universe. And that's why everything has
27:01
been so shitty since then. Just not 20/20/2012, right?
27:06
Something like that. But yeah.
27:09
And that's why there have been, there's been so much shit.
27:14
Well, so in all fairness, my life went to shit post 2012
27:18
because in 2013 I joined the Marine Corps.
27:22
I don't think the Mayans had anything to fucking do with that
27:25
one. Yeah, that one was
27:26
self-inflicted. Yeah, but there's a couple of
27:29
those conspiracy theories that are like, hey, after, you know,
27:33
this iteration of the world ending On this date, like it
27:36
actually did. And that's why everything's been
27:40
fucking weird after that. Swamp Thing dumped me in 2012.
27:44
Oh no, old Nessie fucked back off to to the fucking lock.
27:49
Your diabolical nickname. She dumped you buddy.
27:54
I wouldn't admit that out loud ever again.
27:57
Just say that relationship ended.
28:01
Don't. Don't admit that part.
28:03
Have some respect. Come on, Jimmy.
28:06
Oh my God. Oh.
28:10
God, do you remember that? We went to go see Ralphie May
28:13
like the day, like the day had happened or whatever, the day
28:15
after or whatever. It was such a funny show up
28:19
until he up until Ralphie May was like, I want you to look at
28:22
your partner and grab her and hold her close and like your mom
28:26
like looked at me. I'm just like tearing up and
28:28
shit. Yeah, it.
28:30
Was a good show though. Then one thing from that show
28:33
that sticks with me is his bit about right being a fat guy
28:37
'cause it was a lot of his bit. Tsunami.
28:40
Tsunami fuck. The tsunami?
28:42
Fuck yeah where she she gets on Zop.
28:45
He slaps his belly and lets her ride the waves.
28:48
Yeah, that was a good bit. That was a really good bit.
28:52
Dude, that was what, in 2012? In 13?
28:57
It's 2026 and we're still talking about it.
28:59
That was a really fun, I mean, the guy dead and we're still
29:02
fucking talking. I well.
29:03
I'm. In jail.
29:05
RIP in peace my dude. Yeah, but fuck, it was a.
29:11
Great. Yeah, like the so right, without
29:15
getting into like sides and lines and fact, fact is time now
29:21
we find ourselves in a very polarizing environment and it's
29:28
it's definitely a super unfortunate thing to realize
29:31
that those individuals exist on both sides that don't have the
29:38
mental capacity, ability, capability, give a fuck whatever
29:43
it is that fits that specific individual to have a mature
29:49
conversation and like really articulate their viewpoint,
29:53
right. Not from a stance of trying to
29:55
to flip anybody or force their opinion on anyone, but to
30:00
intelligently and accurately articulate their viewpoint and
30:05
just have a conversation about it.
30:06
Like when you lose the ability to have a conversation you
30:10
you've lost everything else. It was.
30:13
Yeah. That was one of the parts of our
30:16
argument that was that was so crazy as, and this is what I've
30:19
noticed, like when you're, when you're in these conversations,
30:23
like some people are so self absorbed in their, in their,
30:28
like in their viewpoints, man, that they're not willing to even
30:32
look at another perspective. Like they're so convinced that
30:36
they're right, that anything else is wrong.
30:39
Like we were talking about. I was like, I was like, there's
30:43
some good going on. And I was like, you don't like
30:46
it all that. I was like that they've banned
30:50
certain chemicals and foods. Like I like I brought up RFK.
30:54
I was like, he's bad. I was like, I was like, I think
30:56
it's a huge win on our health system.
30:58
That one they flipped the pyramid like they put meat on
31:01
top as, as the most important instead of fucking bread, which
31:06
our bread is different than any other country.
31:08
Like our bread is not good for you.
31:10
They banned the, the, the yellow 40 and stuff like that.
31:13
Like all these all like they, they banned these artificial
31:15
dyes that are that are cancer causing and and and fucking with
31:19
shit. And I was like, he was like, oh,
31:21
don't get me started on that Jackass.
31:24
And I was like, what do you mean Jackass?
31:26
I was like, I'm not, I was like, I'm not here to tell you that
31:28
he's the best thing that's happened.
31:30
I was like, I'm just saying he's done some good.
31:32
He's like, that man has no right to talk about health.
31:35
I was like, the dudes in his 70s and can do pull ups.
31:38
And he's like, he's like, and this is what he says though.
31:42
He goes, what does that have anything to do with health?
31:47
And I'm like, what? I was like, can you ask me that
31:49
again, please? I was like, ask that question
31:52
again, please. And he, and he wouldn't, he
31:54
wouldn't ask it. And he was like, he's like, the
31:57
thing about RFK is that he's just a vaccine denier.
32:01
And, and like, and he started going off about that and like,
32:05
I'm like, I was like, dude, you're not even, I was like, I
32:08
was like, what? What makes you say that?
32:09
I was like, I was like, I'm not asking.
32:11
I was like, I don't think you're wrong.
32:13
I was like, I need you to understand I'm not asking you
32:15
these questions because I think you're wrong.
32:18
I want you to change my mind. I was like, if you know
32:21
something that I don't, I want to know it.
32:23
So then maybe me and you can be on the same page.
32:26
And that right there is the mindset that I wish everybody
32:30
had is I want to hear what you have to say because what if you
32:35
know something that I don't? And what if I'm looking at this
32:39
all wrong? And if we all had that mindset,
32:42
man, I think the freaking I think everything would be so
32:44
much better instead of just trying to talk over each other
32:47
and argue with each other crazy. So could your friend actually
32:53
like dig into the reasons why I'm behind and like support his
32:58
viewpoint and his stance? He hung up on me.
33:01
I'm going to, I'm going to venture an uninformed guest that
33:06
this individual, potentially much like many other
33:12
individuals, get all of their fucking political viewpoints and
33:15
talking points from fucking TikTok.
33:19
To be honest, I'm not sure I I tried to, I tried to, I tried to
33:25
ask him. I was like, I was like, I was
33:28
like him because because I think that's a huge problem too.
33:31
And not even necessarily just TikTok, like if you, if you take
33:36
somebody who has I, I have AI have a hunch and I don't think
33:42
it's really a hunch. I think this is an actual, this
33:45
is like my conspiracy theory, but I'm like, I would die on
33:49
this hill. Like if you if like if you asked
33:52
me like I would bet everything on this.
33:54
I think if you were to trade phones with somebody that you
34:00
strongly disagree with and you saw their algorithm and they saw
34:07
your algorithm, I think you guys would have an understanding as
34:10
to why they felt that way. Because that like, and honestly,
34:14
it's kind of why I'm trying my ass off to get off Facebook and
34:18
to get off Instagram and to get off of this, because I'm
34:21
starting to see it like the social media is like the
34:25
downfall of, of society, dude. Like with, with the algorithms
34:29
that they're creating because they are, they are looking to,
34:33
to mess with your emotions to get you to spend money.
34:36
That that's why these things are, are like invented, like
34:40
these algorithms, like there are studies on what gets each of
34:44
these people, what gets each and every person more likely to
34:48
spend money and respond to ADS. What do they spend more money
34:52
when they're happy? Do they spend more money when
34:54
they're sad? Do they spend more money?
34:57
And then if whatever that is, they focus that and they try to
35:01
get you to feel that way, you know what I mean?
35:04
And like they've, they've been studying that and they're
35:07
starting to find like, there's this guy who's like, let me
35:09
guess your algorithm real quick. He's like, you're going to see
35:11
this, then you're going to see an animal getting rescued and
35:14
then you're going to see this. And then like they start swiping
35:17
and then boom, he's like, yeah, that's the algorithm.
35:20
Like that's some scary shit, dude.
35:23
Like it's crazy, fucking crazy. But like.
35:28
Yeah. I know my algorithm's different
35:30
than your algorithm. I know you like and like.
35:33
I know more importantly, I know my algorithm is way different
35:37
than my friend's algorithm. You know, he's seeing stuff
35:41
that's going to rile him up because that's what he responds
35:46
to. And so he's getting more riled
35:48
up and more pissed off, just like millions of people are, you
35:53
know? And like, like I've noticed
35:56
like, so like I have a tactic. If I see something on online
36:00
that's going to try to rile me up, I skip right past it.
36:04
Like I don't give it any time of day.
36:06
I don't like it. I don't hop in the Commons to
36:09
see what the people are saying because that's another thing
36:11
that's going on with social media.
36:13
Like these people that you're seeing in the comments, they're
36:15
not real people. They're not actual people
36:19
talking. They're fucking bots, like
36:22
trying to get you even more pissed off.
36:26
There's a lawsuit against, I think Twitter, Twitter, maybe
36:29
Twitter and Meta there. There's a lawsuit against one or
36:32
several social media companies with what they were charging for
36:35
advertisement space. Yeah.
36:38
And they were unable to furnish what percentage of their end
36:41
users were actual end users. Well, when so like, love them or
36:46
hate them or be in the middle. Elon Musk, when he bought
36:50
Twitter, he straight up said 80% of the website was bots, 80% of
36:56
the profiles on the on on X were bots and their bot farms from
37:02
other countries that they're literally people sit at desks.
37:06
Their job is to get in the comments and to piss you off.
37:11
That's crazy. It's fucking insane.
37:15
Like, get off of social media if you can, but before you do,
37:19
follow three damn dudes on Facebook.
37:21
But but get off freaking social media, dude.
37:26
It's the fucking devil. It might literally be the devil.
37:31
I told you I was ranting. I told you I had a rant today,
37:34
boys. What it sounds like is we've got
37:36
our marching orders to put our content out there fucking loud
37:39
and widest dissemination to try to combat the fucking algorithms
37:44
on Facebook, Instagram and TikTok.
37:46
That's what I'm hearing. We need to put some rationality
37:50
out in the fucking airwaves at the end of the day.
37:54
Is. The right word, but.
37:56
Well, rationality from there. From the perspective of I am
38:02
unapologetically not even remotely fucking interested in
38:06
whoever the fuck you voted for, I don't care.
38:10
You know what I care about if you're a good dude or chick.
38:14
Like right dude is. Is center neutral.
38:17
I give a fuck if you're a decent human being, that's about it.
38:21
And we can have conversations about whatever you want.
38:24
It might not end well. We might yell at each other, but
38:29
when we're done yelling at each other, we should probably go
38:31
grab a beer. Because they're just fucking
38:34
opinions. Informed or uninformed, that's
38:37
just how you are entitled to feel about a fucking situation.
38:41
That's just it. That's that's how you fucking
38:44
feel. Those are your fucking feelings.
38:46
That's what you've deduced based on the information subset that
38:49
you've fucking been shown or gone out of your way to fucking
38:52
find about a topic. That is all it is.
38:56
Is there more out there? Almost fucking certainly.
38:58
Are all of this at least a little bit wrong about
39:01
everything we think. I fucking guarantee it.
39:03
At the end of the day, I really don't give a fuck.
39:06
Are you a Dick to dogs? Are you a Dick to kids?
39:09
Well, you know what? Get in the wood chipper then.
39:12
Outside of that, like, I don't, I don't fucking care.
39:15
I don't, It doesn't matter. You fuck whoever you want to
39:18
fuck, vote for whoever you want to fucking vote for.
39:21
I did. It does not break squelch.
39:23
I don't care. You know what's crazy?
39:26
Shit is so fucked right now and we are so distracted by
39:30
everything that's going on that we completely brushed over and
39:34
didn't even care that the government admitted that we are
39:41
in possession of alien biologics.
39:46
What the? Fuck did that happen.
39:48
Oh exactly, exactly. It was a while ago.
39:52
Exactly. Aliens are real and we have them
39:57
and we don't give a fuck. Like it's why they.
40:00
Came out and said that they were real but I didn't know that.
40:03
Was that in the same like Big Drop a couple years ago or are
40:06
we? Talking September.
40:07
Two weeks ago. September there was a
40:08
congressional hearing and it was and it was and it came forward
40:12
that there were alien biologics that were that that the US
40:16
government has like in in possession.
40:19
Nice straight up admitted that aliens are God damn real.
40:23
And we don't care. We, we, we care about Bad Bunny
40:26
fucking dressing and dragging that on a football game.
40:29
That's what we care about. We, we care.
40:32
About a My halftime show. It don't matter if we got
40:36
aliens. We need to get everybody over to
40:38
turning point to watch Kid Rock on the halftime show.
40:42
That's what's important. Crazy aliens are real.
40:48
Oh. All right, are are we ready to
40:51
pivot? Because it it's either going to
40:53
get super political and I'm going to have to edit a bunch of
40:55
shit out because that's not the intent.
40:57
That's not our platform. That's.
40:59
Not. I'm not going to.
40:59
Platform for. I, I want to, I want to end it
41:03
by saying like, I'm not against or for Bad Bunny and I'm not
41:08
against or for Kid Rock. Like I'm like me making me
41:13
throwing that voice on it was just like satire and just like
41:16
trying to drive a point home that it's all fucking stupid.
41:19
Like, you can like Kid Rock. It's OK.
41:21
You're not a hillbilly for liking Kid Rock.
41:24
You can like Bad Bunny. You know what I mean?
41:27
Well, you know, come on, we'll give you the benefit of the
41:31
doubt. You're not a hillbilly if you
41:32
like your act. But you know.
41:36
Like, that whole thing is like, fucking why?
41:40
Why? At the end of the day, you know
41:42
it's going to catch the attention of the people who made
41:44
the decision to put Bad Bunny on.
41:45
If you disagree with that decision, turn it off.
41:49
Don't fucking watch it. It doesn't matter where you go
41:54
for that. However fucking long the
41:55
halftime show's going, it didn't need to be this huge fucking
41:59
dividing news headline making fucking shit show.
42:04
How much money they reel in and that and This is why they do it.
42:09
They want and and it's going to get worse if people don't open
42:14
their eyes to what's going on. Think about how much money they
42:18
charge for, for for a couple seconds of a of a commercial on
42:22
a Super Bowl show. So you've got football fans
42:26
obviously watching the Super Bowl.
42:29
It's the biggest game of the year, right?
42:31
Those people already watching the Super Bowl.
42:35
OK, so then So what the what the what the network has got to say
42:40
is how do we get people who aren't going to watch football
42:43
to watch the Super Bowl? Let's get this guy for halftime.
42:48
And now all of a sudden you've got a whole different dynamic
42:51
coming in and tuning in so they can run more ads, so they can
42:55
charge $1.5 million for a, for a 45 second commercial.
43:01
How much is it? You know what, Google this.
43:03
How much is the average commercial cost for during the
43:06
Super Bowl? Listen, it is an astronomical.
43:11
It is an astronomical amount. But more importantly, the US
43:15
team lost to the Swedes in the curling finals in the Olympics.
43:20
Curling's not a real sport. That's fine.
43:23
I saw that. There was literally a
43:27
conversation that we hadn't worked about how curling is in a
43:34
sport. One of the one of the adults in
43:43
the shop just bigs his head over his computer monitor and goes,
43:48
hey, fuck you. But no, like, honestly, all the
43:54
last two days because yeah, it's Tuesday, Yesterday and today,
43:58
curling was on at work the entire time someone was at work.
44:03
Like I, I honestly start in 48 hours.
44:08
I started giving a fuck, got invested in and then stopped
44:13
giving a fuck about curling. Like, I almost learned how the
44:17
scoring works. But yeah, we the US didn't,
44:21
didn't take golden curling, so I don't know if that's a good
44:23
thing or a bad thing. Yeah.
44:28
What the fuck do you want me to look up now?
44:29
Yeah, super. Bowl yeah, Type in the average
44:34
cost of a Super Bowl ad, because that's what they're doing.
44:38
They want everybody possible because not only did they get
44:42
Bad Bunny fans to come over, but they managed because they made a
44:46
made a political thing. They got everybody who's who I
44:51
who forms to that ideology to come over and watch it.
44:54
And then they got everybody on the opposing ideology to come
44:57
watch it because they want to see how pissed off do they need
45:00
to be. Now they've got this figured out
45:03
on how to reel you guys in to make more money and charge more
45:05
for these ads, and they're making so much money.
45:09
All right, so the AI overview alleges that in 2026, a 30
45:14
second commercial during the Super Bowl cost approximately $8
45:17
million on average, with some premium spots exceeding $10
45:23
million. For 30.
45:25
Seconds, yeah. And that is why they are going
45:30
to every year. As long as everybody keeps
45:33
getting all ruffled up, it is going to get worse every year
45:39
because this year got more attention than last year and
45:43
they tried to go for edgy last year and they tried to get
45:47
everybody ruffled up last. Year.
45:48
I don't know, man. The Chiefs weren't even in it
45:50
this year, so I'm that alone. Without the possibility of
45:53
seeing Taylor Swift on the screen, I wonder how much the
45:58
viewing dropped. I, I got to admit to you, I'm a
46:02
Chiefs fan. I'm a Mahomes fan mainly.
46:06
I have been for a few years, for quite a few years now and I
46:11
haven't watched a football game in like 2 years because of
46:14
Taylor Swift. I got so sick because I'm so
46:18
sick of trying to watch a game and then everybody's more
46:21
fucking worried about what? Like honestly, it took away from
46:24
the game, dude. Like what's Taylor Swift?
46:27
Do it. Oh, she's here.
46:28
Look, there she is everybody. Oh she's talking to Doja Cat.
46:32
Look at that. Wonder what they're talking.
46:34
Oh Doja Cats throwing up double signs.
46:36
You know, it's like Oh my God, what?
46:38
Throw the fucking ball like that's what I want to see, you
46:41
know what I mean? Fuck, there is a touchdown.
46:43
What's Taylor Swift doing over there?
46:45
Right. This is like, oh shit, Travis
46:47
Kelce scored looking Oh, she's dancing like like, it's it drove
46:51
me nuts. I was like, you know what, fuck
46:52
this shit. I like not I'm not going to
46:56
start watching Lions because I'm not a fucking loser.
46:58
You know, like I'm just going to fucking like I have my team.
47:02
I picked my team and now it's all about Taylor Swift.
47:07
Fuck football, fuck the NFL. I'm out, you know, and I don't
47:11
actually mean the Lions are losers.
47:13
Lion. The Lions have been good for a
47:15
couple years now. I was going to say, Lions have
47:17
been on fucking roll recently. I, I am too much of a class act
47:23
to not hop on that bandwagon because I'm going to be brutally
47:26
honest with you guys, my whole life I have made fun of the
47:32
Lions because they have been a piece of shit team literally my
47:35
whole childhood. Like they were such a shitty
47:38
team. So I'm not going to jump on the
47:40
bandwagon now that they're good. I'm going to stay real to myself
47:44
and real to everybody else. Like I'm, I'm not allowed to hop
47:47
on that bandwagon. There was a joke that we used to
47:50
tell in elementary school. It was like this kid, this kid
47:55
calls 911. She said.
47:59
He said, I don't want to live with my mom anymore.
48:01
She beats me, but why don't you go live with your dad?
48:05
I can't go live with my dad because he beats me.
48:08
Well, why don't you go live with your grandparents?
48:10
I can't go live with them because they beat me.
48:13
Well then, kid, do you have anybody else that you can go
48:15
live with? The Detroit Lions, because they
48:18
never beat anybody. And that was the that was the
48:20
childhood joke that I grew up here in.
48:24
Yeah, no, that. Yeah, absolutely.
48:27
Oh fucking hell. Yeah, Taylor Swift killed,
48:29
killed the football for me, so can't do it.
48:33
Can't do it anymore. Are you saying that radio killed
48:35
the sports ball *? Yeah, sure as fuck did.
48:39
Yep, Taylor Swift's the devil. I know at least one.
48:48
Person that is the that is the opinion of Jimmy and not the
48:52
opinion of the three Dan Beats podcast.
48:54
Those are my thoughts, not yours.
48:56
I know at least one person that's going to leave an angry
48:59
comment on this episode. My wife is going to fly to
49:02
Michigan and beat your ass. Well, luckily she's not there
49:05
right now. Where's she?
49:07
Yeah, she's not going to. She's in Nebraska.
49:10
It's in Nebraska besides corn and that's it.
49:14
And hairy women. Yeah.
49:16
That's right, forgot I already did that bit.
49:20
She's she's visiting her hairy friend.
49:26
No, she went. She went back to Nebraska for a
49:29
funeral. So.
49:31
OK, I'm just an asshole then. I mean, you were an asshole
49:34
before you went down that rabbit hole, so functionally nothing
49:37
changes. It was still funny.
49:38
So arguably you'd be more of an asshole if you knew and then
49:46
still went down the rabbit hole. Yeah.
49:50
Statistically speaking, never mind.
49:52
Go ahead. Statistically speaking, 76% of
49:54
fucking facts and statistics are made-up on the spot.
49:58
Sounds that check. Yeah, right.
50:01
All right. Jimmy, are you, are you done on
50:04
that, on that ramp? I feel.
50:07
Anything else you want to do you feel better?
50:09
I feel so much better. Good, man.
50:12
Good. I'm here.
50:13
We're we're here for you. I'm glad.
50:16
I'm glad we could help you. You worked through that.
50:19
Because yeah, the world's the world's kind of fucked right
50:22
now. I feel like we just saved
50:24
America. Oh my God, boys, 2036, we're
50:29
going to make a movie and it's going to be titled 3 Dudes Save
50:34
America. Yeah, I just, I'm, I feel proud
50:40
that it took us 10 episodes and we completely changed the fate
50:43
of our country. I just really love, love that we
50:46
did that for us. Good job team.
50:49
Yeah, I feel like we have to quit now.
50:50
Like what? What higher calling could we
50:54
possibly achieve? I think this is it, boys.
50:58
Hang it up for America's sake. I think we're done.
51:01
Nah, fuck that. We're going to make it to 1000.
51:06
All right, so this episode will drop at 6:00 AM on Friday.
51:13
That is the day before Valentine's Day.
51:15
All you dumb fucks out there who didn't know that.
51:18
So don't fuck it up this year because I promise you probably
51:21
fucked it up last year and your dumb ass was single the year
51:24
before that so it didn't fucking matter.
51:26
So don't fuck it up this year. Get your lady or your special
51:30
fella something nice this fucking weekend.
51:34
The couch is comfortable, but it's not that comfortable and if
51:37
she kicks you out or he kicks you out, you don't have a
51:41
fucking couch anymore. So don't fuck it up.
51:43
What are you doing for Valentine's Day?
51:45
Fucking nothing, dude. And I'm not doing shit.
51:47
She's not kicking me out. We.
51:50
No, I'll probably take Ridley and Barrett to the store.
51:53
We'll we'll find a card or something, do flowers and
51:56
something simple and easy. I I'm excited for Valentine's
52:02
Day. It's like it's OK.
52:05
Must be. My first, my first Valentine's
52:07
Day in a in a long time where I get to like, kind of like go all
52:11
out, you know? I mean, she doesn't listen to
52:15
the show anyway, right? She listens to funny podcasts.
52:17
So what do you? What's your plan?
52:20
I was going to say. Jimmy's just looking forward to
52:22
a clean house. Did you like that?
52:33
You like those videos? That was a pretty good one.
52:35
Yeah, those were good. I did not send her those videos.
52:40
No, no shit. I, I thought about it.
52:45
So we're, we're doing this theme where we're doing this trend.
52:52
I, I, I guess it's a trend. I don't know.
52:54
She's kind of in charge of, of coming up with the ideas.
52:59
But so you pick a color and then you got to pick to that color
53:02
theme. And I think she picked green for
53:06
me. Oh, she basically she got a
53:10
green basket and all of my gifts have to do with something with
53:14
something to do with green, I guess.
53:17
So I was like, you know what her favorite color is purple.
53:19
I'm going to go with purple. So I got a purple basket.
53:22
I got a couple purple gifts and then I was walking and I noticed
53:26
that Swiffers were purple. And then I just my, the wheel
53:30
started turning. So I decided to make a video for
53:32
the boys. Like, like, my color is purple,
53:39
but I'm getting her. It's a slipper in a fucking wet
53:42
jet. And then what?
53:44
Was just odd, dude, I got to say, it's weird that Swiffer's
53:49
purple friggin dish soap is purple.
53:54
The dishwasher detergent was purple.
53:56
Laundry detergent was purple. Like honestly, like it could
53:59
have just been the easiest freaking challenge for me if I
54:02
just would have went down the home cleaning aisle.
54:05
Like I could have got that shit done in 10 minutes, Mano.
54:11
So we're doing that. I got a couple things today.
54:16
I'm going to go back out tomorrow and see what I can
54:18
find. I'm going to try to try to be
54:20
cute and creative, you know, woman like that.
54:23
So I, I, I definitely recommend if you're, if you're a macho man
54:27
and you don't want to, you don't want to do cute shit.
54:30
I, I, I demand, I, I mean, I recommend.
54:33
Yeah, that's, that's pretty crazy.
54:35
That's pretty ballsy, huh? Episode 10 Making demands I.
54:38
Demand you do this. I demand you turn to and in the
54:41
turning point and watch Kid Rock.
54:45
I I recommend that you bite the bullet and just do the cute
54:48
shit. They fucking love it, you know,
54:51
and it'll make you happy too, to see her happy.
54:52
So just do it. Make her happy.
54:54
And I mean, at the end of the day, if any of the boys find
54:57
out, you're going to get shit for it.
54:59
But know that they all did the same shit.
55:02
Yeah, 100% like we're. All out here doing the same
55:04
fucking thing. Fuck all the way off.
55:07
Would you rather go home to a happy wife and live a happy
55:13
life? Or would you rather not?
55:17
You know, thought you weren't. Supposed to use that phrase,
55:19
Jimmy. Happy spouse, happy house.
55:23
There we go. That was what I was told.
55:24
Yeah. Her words.
55:26
What do you got? Mike's holding on to something.
55:29
Yeah, he is. He's holding on to something so
55:33
hard he looks frozen. Looks like he's about to shit
55:36
himself. Yes, and yes, my wife actually
55:40
listens to this podcast, so I'm going to keep all of those
55:44
inside thoughts on the inside. I will text you boys my answer
55:49
to that fucking series of questions.
55:53
But happy spouse, happy house, man that you know, there's some
55:56
days where that sounds fucking great.
55:58
Like that sounds like a beautiful thing.
56:00
And then I remember, and then I remember that I have a
56:05
three-year old and a nine month old and that doesn't exist right
56:08
now and probably won't for another two and four years and
56:13
three months. So I thought.
56:17
You were getting that something else.
56:19
It's a lot more fun to just keep it fucking spicy.
56:23
She's going to hear that and get really bad because she's going
56:26
to think the same thing we thought for a second.
56:28
Yep. Misdirection.
56:33
My goodness. Fuck me, dude.
56:36
Right now I'm not there. Yeah, we could in April, yeah.
56:42
Three damn dudes have a three-way.
56:45
That's really going to be the start of our only fans.
56:49
Oh. Nope.
56:52
Just a lot of hair, a lot of. See, what we're going to do is
56:59
none of us are going to shave anything until April, and then
57:02
we're all going to shave everything and we're going to
57:05
glue it all to beads. And then beads is going to be a
57:10
Sasquatch. We're going to donate all that
57:14
hair to an to fucking bald dude, a homeless baldy, and we're just
57:21
going to give him a bag of hair and some fucking Elmer's glue
57:24
and go have fun. Stay warm. 10% of it has crabs.
57:30
There was a. There was a comedian that made a
57:32
joke about donating his boobs to lacks of love.
57:36
No. It's like, it just warms my
57:40
heart just knowing that there's just some kid out there with
57:44
curly hair. His life?
57:50
Oh no. Oh good.
57:54
There's a line in there somewhere.
57:56
Full head of curly hair. Oh Jesus.
58:02
OK, so we had our Valentine's Day PSA Gavin, you're gonna,
58:08
you're gonna light a candle and take your take your hand out on
58:11
a date for Valentine's Day or, or what?
58:15
MENA. The way.
58:18
It's been getting work lately, might as well.
58:21
Or are you going to give it a break?
58:22
He's dating a model she's from. She's Miss Michigan.
58:29
She's my right hand girl. Isn't that the wrong hand from
58:35
Michigan? Yeah, I thought, I thought the
58:38
channel was. About to say so here's the fun
58:42
thing, right? Both of my hands can do the
58:45
thing. You have two sides to your
58:48
hands, gentlemen. Oh my God.
58:51
Speaking of having 2 fucking hands, I have a fucking story.
58:55
You know who else had two hands? Jesus, your ex-wife.
58:59
I had to bring her up. Yeah, yeah, she did.
59:04
Well, I'm probably still does. I don't fucking know.
59:07
Yeah. Why would you hope that?
59:14
Oh God, that's not nice. Oh God, she can keep her fucking
59:18
hands, Jimmy. What the fuck, dude?
59:21
Nah, fuck that bitch. That was a decade ago and
59:25
neither of you were directly involved in that.
59:28
Get the fuck over it. Those same hands that she jerked
59:31
you off with? No.
59:33
Oh my God. Oh, Jesus.
59:37
That's anyways, back to my fucking story.
59:41
Back to my fucking story. Oh wow.
59:48
It was going so well. That was Gavin, ladies and
59:50
gentlemen. That was Gavin from the Three
59:52
Damn Dudes podcast. That was Gavin that said that.
1:00:00
For fuck's sake boys, God damn it.
1:00:05
It was just too good of a setup, I'm sorry.
1:00:11
My sides hurt. I'm forgetting how to breathe.
1:00:14
Anyways, when I was in high school I volunteered to be a
1:00:20
fifth grade camp counselor. I don't know if you've been
1:00:26
around 5th graders anytime recently.
1:00:30
They they are some interesting critters cause like half of them
1:00:34
have figured out the fine art of shit talking 'cause their dads
1:00:37
work blue collar jobs. The other half obviously like
1:00:44
come from a loving household and go to church on Sundays.
1:00:48
And then the other other half, they're just, they're fucking
1:00:53
vibing, right? So one of one of the kids, it
1:00:59
was me and it was me and one of the other wrestlers, I think he
1:01:02
was a junior or a senior. He was a junior and I was, no,
1:01:06
it would have been a sophomore or a freshman.
1:01:08
Either way, there was a year or two in between me and him as
1:01:11
the, the counselors in this cabin.
1:01:15
We had two, two of the 5th graders in our group in our
1:01:18
cabin that they just, they did not get along because one of
1:01:22
them he, he was definitely, he was a, he was a little off.
1:01:30
He was totally functional, but he was a little off good kid.
1:01:36
And then there was a kid who we called Big Red because he had a
1:01:40
giant fire red puffy fucking goose down coat that he wore.
1:01:44
So Big Red and this other kid do Big Red went out of his way to
1:01:50
make this other kids life fucking hell.
1:01:52
So two things happened where this other kid stood up for
1:01:56
himself and it was the funniest fucking thing.
1:01:59
So the other kid, he had gotten really good at at flipping the
1:02:04
bird with his right hand. So right.
1:02:07
Like he would fucking wind that shit up and he'd like grunt and
1:02:14
all. There was 1 instance I, I
1:02:16
watched this fucking child realize that he had two fucking
1:02:21
hands. I watched that thought process
1:02:25
happen on his fucking face because this is how it went
1:02:28
down. Big Red said some shit which
1:02:32
granted was funny and the other kid goes and he shook it around
1:02:38
because that added +5 to power. It's like a transformation we're
1:02:41
watching. I can write.
1:02:45
We we should have probably we should probably preface that you
1:02:50
need to watch the video on this. Yes.
1:02:53
I literally watched this fucking 5th grader discover his other
1:02:58
middle finger. It was the funniest fucking
1:03:03
thing, right? Which terrible, terrible camp
1:03:11
counseling 'cause there's no reason we should have allowed
1:03:16
Big Red to pick on the other kid like that.
1:03:18
Who was the other counselor? Dylan?
1:03:22
God, there's so many. Anyways, Yeah, it anyways, So
1:03:30
same, same two kids, right? One that that the fact that I
1:03:34
witnessed that happen, that is forever one of my favorite
1:03:38
fucking memories of all time. Hands down.
1:03:45
The next thing that happened between these two is Big Red.
1:03:48
So in the in the 5th grade camp cabins, there's a like 2 by 2
1:03:54
cut out that is set like a foot off of the floor on an exterior
1:03:58
wall for the cabin as like a fire escape.
1:04:03
Mind you, there's like a six inch, 6 inch to 1 foot lift from
1:04:08
the ground to the cabin. So you're roughly 8 to 14 inches
1:04:12
off of the ground where this opening kind of lets out.
1:04:16
So you got about a foot drop. Big Red is standing in front of
1:04:18
this, doesn't realize he is standing in front of this.
1:04:21
Big Red is running his fucking mouth again as got intended.
1:04:24
And again, it's probably some funny fucking shit.
1:04:32
The other kid, you, you see him like doing the math and he
1:04:38
realizes where Big Red is and he realizes what opportunity this
1:04:42
presents. So Big Red is talking shit.
1:04:45
And this other kid just starts confidently but quickly, like
1:04:50
aggressively, quickly moving toward Big Red and stops about
1:04:58
half a legs distance away from Big Red, right?
1:05:02
Curious, this other kid straight up Spartan kicks Big Red in the
1:05:06
fucking chest and sends him backward through the fire escape
1:05:12
of the cabin outside. Literally fucking kick this kid
1:05:20
out of the fucking cabin. And again, the counselor and I
1:05:24
right well, like, well, you know, these are, these are
1:05:29
formative fucking interactions that are going on right now.
1:05:34
Like learn to stick up for yourself.
1:05:36
And if it gets out of hand, then we'll step in and, you know,
1:05:38
separate or do whatever we got to do.
1:05:42
Neither of us were fucking quick enough to stop the other kid
1:05:46
from fucking Spartan kicking Big Red backward outside the fucking
1:05:50
cabin. Big Red mind you is also the
1:05:52
same kid who decided in the middle of the night that he
1:05:55
didn't take a shit and instead of waking up his buddy to walk
1:05:59
100 yards across like basically a a very open path and like a
1:06:05
lightly wooded area. No, this kid just hangs his
1:06:09
fucking ass out of that same fire escape and shits right
1:06:13
outside the fucking cabin like a goddamn Neanderthal.
1:06:17
Oh my God. Dude it 5th grade camp was
1:06:21
fucking wild and I will never do that again.
1:06:25
I can only hope that the girls cabins were were more tame.
1:06:29
I doubt it but I hope. But yeah I watched a a kid
1:06:33
Spartan kick another kid through a fire escape and I watched that
1:06:36
same kid discover he's got 2 fucking middle fingers like I
1:06:40
watched him find it. Guys you don't understand.
1:06:45
That was the funniest fucking thing that's ever happened to
1:06:47
me. Dude, I was pro Big Red up until
1:06:51
you told me that. Like, I felt bad for this kid.
1:06:54
I was like, damn, this kid's getting picked on and and then
1:06:57
you're like, and then he's shit outside with his ass out the
1:07:00
window and I'm like, oh. Big Red was the antagonist in
1:07:03
the story. True.
1:07:05
Yes, Big Red was the bad guy. Big Red was the bad guy.
1:07:10
Yeah, the other kid, he yeah, he was the target for a lot and
1:07:19
literally everything he did was in retaliation.
1:07:22
So it it played, it was fine. The fuck are we talking about?
1:07:27
Before I 24 and made down the 5th grade camp stories.
1:07:31
That's. Losing a hand?
1:07:33
OK, before that Part 2. Kid Rock's halftime show.
1:07:38
Nah, that's way too far back. All right, Are are we good on on
1:07:42
Valentine's Day? Yeah.
1:07:50
Yeah, yeah. All right, boys, we've got about
1:07:55
20 minutes, maybe 15, to talk about your zombie.
1:08:00
Apocalypse an hour. Yeah, we blew past that with the
1:08:04
5th grade camp story, so I'm going to give us another 15.
1:08:07
Maybe we could just keep it there all right.
1:08:11
Fine, we'll we'll drop a teaser for for next week then.
1:08:15
Boys, I want to talk about our zombie apocalypse loadouts.
1:08:17
I can go all. I can go on and on and on about
1:08:20
a zombie apocalypse, dude, So let's save that for another.
1:08:25
Let's leave that for next week because I'm ready all.
1:08:30
Right, Fine, fine, fine, fine, fine.
1:08:35
And Alex, I don't want to fucking hear shit about how this
1:08:37
episode's short. We started late.
1:08:40
Fuck off, I love you. Keep sending me T-shirt ideas.
1:08:45
All right, Gavin, you got anything else?
1:08:47
Save rounds. Alibis.
1:08:49
Don't be an asshole. I like it.
1:08:52
Don't be an asshole, Jimmy. What you got?
1:08:55
Be rooting, be Tooting, and chill the fuck out.
1:09:00
And America, you're welcome, because we freaking saved the
1:09:05
world. And keep a Keep a watch out 2036
1:09:12
Three Damn Dudes Save America. It's coming to a screen of some
1:09:17
size and color near you. It's going to be great.
1:09:21
It's going to be lit or whatever the kids are fucking saying
1:09:25
nowadays. Yeah.
1:09:29
So with that for Gavin, for Jimmy, I'm Mike.
1:09:32
This has been the 10th fucking episode of the Three Damn Dudes
1:09:36
podcast. Thank you guys so much for
1:09:39
listening to us get up here and run our fucking faces about shit
1:09:43
that doesn't fucking matter to a bunch of people that probably
1:09:47
don't even give a fuck. But reach out to your friends.
1:09:51
Reach out to the boys, to the dudes, to the goons, to the
1:09:54
individuals that you went through the suck with.
1:09:57
And as always, thanks for showing up.
1:09:59
OK, Love you. Bye E.
1:10:01
OK, love you. Bye E, OK.
1:10:02
Love you. Bye E.
1:10:04
That's what I fucking thought.