Latest / Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections / Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Tevan Millette and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker

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Networking Unleashed: An Interview with Tevan Millette and Michael A Forman, Professional Speaker · Networking Unleashed: Building Profitable Connections

0:17
Welcome to Networking Unleashed, building profitable
0:20
connections. Today's conversation is one I've
0:23
been looking forward to because it hits at the
0:26
intersection of grit, growth, and relationships
0:29
that truly matter. Our guest has lived through
0:33
moments that would have sidelined many people.
0:36
Instead, he took those experiences. both from
0:40
military service and personal setbacks, and built
0:44
a leadership approach grounded in clarity, discipline,
0:48
and measurable progress. He helps others rise
0:52
above uncertainty with intention, create businesses
0:55
that last, and surround themselves with people
0:59
who lift them higher. He's not about hype. He's
1:02
about real results. And he's here to share how
1:07
resilience shapes the way we connect, work, and
1:12
succeed. I really want to welcome Tevin. You're
1:17
like a brother from another mother. We have a
1:20
kinship. And yes, you have the military behind
1:23
you, which we all thank you for. But you're just
1:27
one of us, right? I would like to introduce Tevin
1:31
to the podcast. And why don't you give us a little
1:34
bit about your background and how you got here
1:37
today? Absolutely. And I really appreciate it,
1:41
Michael, because it's an absolute pleasure to
1:43
be here and being able to speak to everybody.
1:46
And so to give you a basic about me, let's start
1:51
from the beginning. I actually came from a very
1:56
poor beginning. I was adopted when I was a youngster.
2:00
And from there, what ended up happening was I
2:04
got over to an adoptive family, which was absolutely
2:07
wonderful. I appreciate them for taking me in
2:10
and taking on the challenge of me. But from there,
2:17
it was definitely a little bit more difficult
2:21
than I think they originally anticipated. And
2:25
so with that was, there were situations where
2:29
we were, the living conditions were kind of subpar.
2:34
Let's put it that way. Not a lot of clothing.
2:37
There was a lot of re -wearing, a lot of different
2:40
types of things. We don't have to go too far
2:43
into there. I think we can get the picture from
2:45
that. But then eventually when I was 12 years
2:48
old, I got my first job. And I started to learn
2:51
some basic, basic things. During this time. Somebody
2:55
that was supposed to be very close to me had
2:58
said something and it stuck with me. And they
3:02
said that you are useless. You are going to be
3:06
worth nothing and you'll never do anything. So
3:10
that right there, I was 12 years old. And so
3:12
that was, let me tell you, I took those embers.
3:17
in those flames and i put them inside and they
3:19
have fueled me since because from that very moment
3:23
oh and i also to even just pour a little bit
3:26
more salt in that they said that you'll never
3:28
find yourself a spouse or anything no woman would
3:31
ever want to go ahead and marry you one day you
3:34
don't have any skills you're worth nothing so
3:36
with that being said i from then on i learned
3:39
how to work on vehicles i learned the construction
3:41
space i got myself into landscaping. I started
3:44
learning all types of blue collar work. I figured
3:47
out how to get into business. I started, heck,
3:50
I was in middle school and I was selling little
3:52
desserts and everything and help selling different
3:55
kids. And I was pretty much reallocating their
4:00
lunch money. And so right into my pocket. So
4:03
I learned those basic skills when I was younger.
4:06
And it wasn't that anybody was there to teach
4:10
me. It was more, or less survival instinct. And
4:16
so I took a lot of those skills into my adulthood.
4:18
When I was 17, I was kicked out of my home formally.
4:23
And that was due to them no longer wanting me
4:27
in their home. I had maybe $5 to $20 to my name.
4:34
I had a small twin size mattress with me as far
4:38
as my possessions go. That went along with a
4:41
small box of just random knickknacks and whatnot.
4:44
But that mattress had been with me for probably
4:47
the better part of a decade. And before that,
4:49
someone else probably had it for a decade because
4:52
I remember getting that bed. I thought it was
4:54
the coolest thing ever, but I actually picked
4:56
it up from the public dump. And so with that,
5:00
I found somebody gracious enough to take me in.
5:03
I had to pay rent. I didn't have rent money.
5:07
And I was paying like $50 a month for a room.
5:12
I literally couldn't afford anything whatsoever.
5:16
And so from there, I ended up in a situation
5:21
where I was trading labor for a place to live.
5:26
And I worked for their business. And then one
5:28
day they looked at me, they're like, what are
5:30
you going to do with your life? Because this
5:31
situation ain't going to last for very much longer.
5:35
And so I ended up joining the National Guard.
5:38
And so that was my introduction into the military.
5:40
And I'll tell you what, Michael, I found myself
5:42
in basic training. And I'm not going to lie to
5:45
you. Right before I even shipped out, somebody
5:48
said, hey, where are you? You're supposed to
5:50
be at the airport. I'm like, what? For what?
5:54
They're like, yeah, you've got to go to basic
5:56
training. Huh? What's that? And they're like,
6:02
son, report to the airport immediately. And then
6:07
so I ended up going over to basic training and
6:12
the AIT that followed it. And so after all that,
6:16
I got back over to the state of New Hampshire.
6:20
I was now officially in the military. I was a
6:23
private first class at the time. And so it really
6:27
just went from there. to me going to college
6:31
and then also simultaneously i went to the police
6:35
academy became corrections officer for the state
6:37
of new hampshire over at the state prison and
6:40
then one day i remember i was at the training
6:46
for the summer time all the national guardsmen
6:49
have to attend about two weeks out of the summer
6:52
and this platoon sergeant he comes up to me he
6:54
says hey tevin yeah you don't belong here Huh?
7:01
I'm like, what do you mean? And he's just basically
7:04
proceeded to tell me, look, you've got some unique
7:09
sets of skills that I haven't seen before. And
7:13
at the time I thought he was kind of yelling
7:17
at me in a way, or there was disapproval and
7:20
I couldn't quite wrap my head around it. But
7:23
eventually he said, go try out for something.
7:25
more challenging, where you will be able to be
7:29
satisfied with what you're doing. You're special,
7:32
man. And that was it. We left the conversation
7:35
at that. Now, I ended up peeling back layers
7:38
on that later on. And one thing led to the next.
7:40
I tried out for Special Forces. I ended up getting
7:43
picked up. I was selected. And then after that,
7:47
two years later, I don the Green Beret. After
7:50
having gone through a series of very difficult
7:53
things throughout that course, it was very challenging
7:56
mentally and physically, and at times spiritually,
7:59
just due to the fact that I was so far displaced
8:02
from everything that I knew. And I was just thinking
8:07
in my mind, wow, this is so different. But I
8:11
liked it. I liked it a lot, Michael, I'll tell
8:14
you. After going through all that, I ended up
8:18
opening several businesses. And along the way,
8:21
I figured out that I had a very special gift
8:23
for helping people. And I was talking to somebody
8:27
one day and they were like, I don't understand.
8:33
Don't you need to like go ahead and wait for
8:37
things to just come to you? And that's I told
8:39
them we had a very good and colorful conversation.
8:43
I was like, no, because. Nobody owes me anything.
8:48
And that in a way is, it's freedom. Because now
8:54
that's, I didn't really expect fairness anymore.
8:58
I unlocked ownership in myself and my own actions.
9:02
It's responsibility. It isn't heavy. It's empowering.
9:06
And so when you accept full ownership excuses,
9:10
they truly do disappear and clarity shows up.
9:12
And so now here we are. In a nutshell, how I
9:17
got here. Was pretty. I'd say a pretty good story.
9:24
It's I think back to the way I started the military
9:27
and I the way I went in and everything else.
9:31
I thought my was a very good and colorful story
9:35
until I heard yours. OK, so mine doesn't even
9:39
compare to yours. So I'm not going to go into
9:42
what mine was. OK, so I am just going to hit
9:47
you with a few questions. Right. So let me start
9:50
out by saying. Many people see networking as
9:54
surface level. How did adversity change the way
9:58
you connect with others on a deeper level? I
10:03
love that question. Here's the thing. When I
10:09
connect with people, I really am trying to develop
10:12
something that is super authentic, real. It's
10:17
not that I'm trying to get something out of them.
10:20
I really do believe I'm a stern believer. I think
10:24
this would be the better way to say it, that
10:26
everybody has something to offer. Everybody,
10:30
everybody. I agree. Every single story matters
10:35
in everything that somebody does. I was actually
10:38
at a very interesting event with John Maxwell.
10:43
And he had. spoken about something that was very
10:48
religious in nature but to give you the short
10:52
and sweet of it everybody has the ability to
10:57
convey a message and what's really cool is that
11:02
every single person has a different level of
11:06
ability to go ahead and convey said message they
11:10
have a different stage for it and so Some people,
11:15
they have a massive stage, think Hollywood, or
11:18
think like a massive following or gathering that
11:21
they have cultivated over time. And I think that's
11:25
great. But the networking overall, I really do
11:29
try and never forget that everybody has something
11:35
that is important and is likely a key. puzzle
11:39
piece inside the overall puzzle that we're all
11:43
trying to put together over time. And it's 2025,
11:47
2025 years. And we're still going. Absolutely.
11:54
You have to put yourself in their position. It
11:57
may not be that important to you or something
12:02
that you're working on, but if you turn it around
12:04
and if you're them, it's important to them. And
12:08
it's important what we call active listening.
12:12
If you listen to them properly, if you listen
12:16
to what they have to say, don't think about the
12:18
next thing that you have to say. Think about
12:21
what they are telling you. And then you repeat
12:24
back some of what they said and say, if I understand
12:27
you correctly, X, Y, Z. And they'll say, yes,
12:33
that's exactly what I'm talking about. And that's
12:36
the reaction that you want to get. Because when
12:39
you say authentic, authenticity, that's really
12:43
like a buzzword that keeps getting thrown around
12:45
all over the place. But if you truly believe
12:48
it, if you truly believe it, if you're being
12:51
your authentic self, you're being authentic to
12:54
the person that you're speaking with, and they
12:56
will feel it. Yes. They will feel that they are
13:00
being listened to. And that's such a big difference.
13:03
And I can go into that a whole lot more, but
13:07
I'm not. Okay. All right. All right. You face
13:12
situations where perseverance was non -negotiable.
13:16
What habits do you now use when building new
13:20
business relationships that come directly from
13:23
those experiences? Ooh, tying those two together.
13:29
Okay, Michael, these are good things to think
13:31
on. One thing in particular that I like to say
13:34
is doing things with intention. Before I begin
13:41
doing something, it could be as basic as just
13:45
developing a relationship kind of thing. I'm
13:48
thinking about them as holistically, not just
13:51
now. Keep in mind, when perseverance, I'm trying
13:55
to go ahead and follow through with something
13:57
and be continuous at it and ensure that there
14:00
is an outcome. And I'm hoping that it's going
14:04
to be a good outcome, of course. But with that
14:07
being said, one thing that I'm doing during that
14:11
time is that holistic approach. What I mean by
14:15
that is I'm making sure that I am really there
14:19
and part of the conversation. There's different
14:23
types of listening. And so I love thinking about
14:26
level one listening, level two, level three,
14:28
anywhere from hearing the background noise that's
14:31
going on, but then being able to still just take
14:34
in the environment all the way down to like exactly
14:37
how you were saying it, being able to almost
14:39
regurgitate some as far like a little bit of
14:42
mirroring and then ensuring that everything is
14:46
being understood. And then really just completely
14:50
zeroing in. I don't know what's going on around
14:52
me. I only see you. And so to go back to finishing
15:00
answering that question, I'm thinking about their
15:03
family. I'm thinking about the conversation that
15:07
we're having and how it's going to impact you,
15:09
how it's going to impact me. I'm thinking of
15:12
things, second and third order effects with a
15:15
lot of these. And so. This is something that's
15:18
really helped me integrate, really building up
15:23
these relationships in business and taking the
15:25
same principles as from perseverance and then
15:28
bringing them over into this arena. And I'm also
15:32
practicing self -discipline. I'm practicing self
15:36
-control and ultimately respect. And because
15:40
that's just, and I like how you nodded there
15:43
because. I feel as though there's a lot of people
15:46
who don't implement some of these things. And
15:49
I'm not saying that this is the only method in
15:52
which that one could go about using and then
15:55
be successful. I think there's many different
15:57
ways of doing it, but I think that this one has
16:00
worked for me. Absolutely. Bob Berg wrote about
16:04
this in one of his books, Go Givers. It is truly,
16:10
he's a remarkable man. As a matter of fact, I
16:13
had him on a podcast a few episodes ago. And
16:16
he just, he practices everything that I truly
16:20
believe in and what I practice. So if you practice,
16:25
and if you practice just giving, right? Don't
16:29
think about receiving. When you go to a networking
16:32
event or sitting down with somebody, you figure
16:35
out how you can help that person. And really
16:39
what I came up with was, I like you. I like what
16:44
you do for a living. I like how you do it. How
16:47
can I make you more successful? Yes. How can
16:51
I be a good referral source for you? And if I
16:57
did my job correctly, they'll say, Mike, I don't
17:00
even know what the hell you do yet. And you're
17:02
already trying to make me more successful. And
17:05
yes, that's exactly it. So give. Try not to receive.
17:09
So what goes around comes around. You will receive,
17:13
but you have such a much better feeling if you're
17:18
giving. Absolutely. All about providing that
17:22
value. How can I be of value to you? Yes. Yes,
17:26
absolutely. And that goes on with LinkedIn, with
17:29
social media and everything else, but we'll get
17:31
into that later on. Okay. When someone is rebuilding,
17:35
professionally or personally, What approach should
17:40
they use to restart their network with intention
17:42
instead of desperation? Wow. I really like that
17:50
question. Rather than desperation. Yes. Intention
17:56
versus desperation. There's something here. So
18:01
if you're rebuilding something. Say we take me,
18:08
for example. Tevin, let's go ahead and just knock
18:14
down everything and let's just rebuild. Let's
18:17
rebuild your entire identity. What I would say
18:22
is I would have that strong foundation of what
18:27
we were just talking about being of value to
18:30
others. Because there's something interesting
18:34
about humans. And it's that we're very naturally
18:38
and not saying 100 % of humans, of course. But
18:42
instinctually, we are very community based. And
18:49
so with that being said, think of it as it takes
18:53
a village. And so if, and we've all experienced
18:59
this. especially in grade school, for example,
19:02
where that one child who's inside of that little
19:08
play area who's bullying all of the other ones
19:11
and boasting about everything, they don't often
19:16
have a lot of people around them. It could be
19:20
because they were cultivating fear amongst their
19:24
peers. It could be that they were being disrespectful.
19:28
which that one's huge. And there could also be
19:32
a slight inclination that they're becoming a
19:36
loner, that they don't want people, that they're
19:40
pushing everybody away. And for some people,
19:43
it's a coping mechanism of sorts, because everybody
19:47
has different life situations going on, and that
19:51
may provoke something like that. But the way
19:54
that I would do it... is I would start with being
19:57
a value to others and showing people that, hey,
20:01
I really am here to help you. And by me helping
20:05
you, you know, this amazing friendship that we're
20:08
forging will actually slowly refine myself. Because
20:13
if I can serve others, right now I'm teaching
20:17
myself, okay, there is etiquette, which that's
20:23
an interesting word that... I haven't actually
20:25
heard anybody use in a while. But there's all
20:31
those different types of communication skills
20:34
that are being developed. It furthers into my
20:38
personal three rules, which I've already went
20:41
into a little bit, self -control, self -discipline,
20:44
as well as respect. But then one of the biggest
20:47
ones is character. Building up these things.
20:52
It may seem a little silly, but from the outside
20:56
in, what I've noticed is that people do pick
20:58
up on it. Simple acts such as smiling, those
21:03
ones, like little things like that, they really
21:06
do go ahead and stack up on one another. And
21:09
so over time, I noticed that if I were to go
21:13
ahead and redevelop myself by doing this over
21:18
time, it would probably get recognized as being
21:21
positive. And people may gravitate naturally
21:25
towards that. And it's not because of coercion.
21:28
It's not because of any malicious intent or anything
21:31
like that. It's just simply being a good human.
21:34
And people like that. I know for some people,
21:38
it's kind of like a newsflash, but it's something
21:40
that took me a long time to really figure out
21:43
because I went through all those stages. I went
21:45
through times when I thought that being a loner
21:47
was better. I thought that building by myself
21:50
was going to get me farther. in life than anything
21:53
but what i slowly realized is that all those
21:56
people who were fully content with what they
21:58
were doing and competent and they were showing
22:01
all of these amazing traits i realized wow they're
22:07
very community oriented they are not selfish
22:11
they are always looking to give back and people
22:16
see it and they want to be a part of it and i
22:20
hope that It was a good explanation. Absolutely.
22:24
And it all comes down to something as simple
22:30
as body language, right? You said smiling. And
22:35
that's the first and foremost, whenever anybody
22:38
meets anybody or is in a networking event, would
22:42
you rather talk to somebody who's smiling or...
22:47
They're always upset like this. It's a whole
22:49
different concept. Or if they're open as opposed
22:53
to being closed, if they're standing shoulders
22:57
straight to you or they're talking to you like
23:01
this and looking at everybody else in the room,
23:05
paying attention to your. So. All of that stems
23:08
from exactly what you were saying. If you put
23:12
all of this together, and it's no easy thing.
23:15
Somebody can't just say, oh, you know what? Those
23:17
guys were right, and that's what I'm going to
23:19
do tomorrow. This is something that's got to
23:22
be practiced, that you've got to do. And listen,
23:25
I always say, talk into a mirror. See when you're
23:29
speaking with somebody, right? Practice smiling.
23:33
I do a lot of workshops. And I always have the
23:36
customer service people come in with the salespeople.
23:39
And I say, put a little mirror next to the telephone
23:44
and smile as you're speaking with them because
23:48
you can almost see the smile come through the
23:50
phone. You know, it's all about that. And I've
23:54
had some very good results, but all of this comes
23:56
down to you, how you're personified. It's all
24:02
that body language. And when I coach the CEOs,
24:06
CMOs, CIOs, all the C -suite executives, I tell
24:12
them, you've got to do all this because if I
24:15
teach the people on the bottom, the salespeople
24:19
and everything else, but I don't show you, what
24:22
is that going to do for the company? That means
24:25
that you're going to go back to doing the same
24:26
old thing that you always did, and you're going
24:29
to undo everything I taught them. So it's a whole
24:32
give and take, but I digress. Okay. Yeah, I love
24:36
those points though. Yeah, it's so important.
24:39
And listen, by me being a speaker and going out
24:43
onto the road and everything, I've got a thousand
24:46
of these points, but this is a podcast. I'm trying
24:49
to put everything around you. Okay. What's one
24:53
principle from your military background that
24:56
you believe every entrepreneur should apply when
24:59
developing professional connections? A principle.
25:05
One principle. Yeah. Now, I want to tell you,
25:12
now, I've gone up through the ranks. I was the
25:15
law enforcement flight chief of my group. There
25:20
are many skills that I have, but I'm asking you
25:24
to give me one principle from your military background
25:28
that you believe every entrepreneur should apply
25:32
when developing a professional connection. Ooh.
25:37
So thinking about, I guess we could say, I have
25:46
so many different ones, so many different ones.
25:50
But I think that one thing I will go with, and
25:53
it's one of probably the most basic and foundational,
25:58
is slow is smooth, smooth is best. But if we
26:06
were to go ahead and peel that back a little
26:09
bit, for those who are thinking, I'm not entirely
26:13
sure what that means, but another way to think
26:17
of it would be, Don't rush under pressure. If
26:22
you can focus on precision and discipline and
26:27
fundamentals, then you're good. Because rushing
26:32
ultimately gets people hurt. Calm execution saves
26:36
lives, can save relationships, can save all types
26:40
of friendships and opportunities. There's a preservation
26:44
around it. And just think. As a takeaway for
26:47
this one small principle of slow is smooth, smooth
26:51
is fast, speed, it comes after competence, not
26:56
before it. Very good. And I will second that
27:00
whole thing that you just said, because I had
27:03
three other things in my head, and you just picked
27:06
out something completely different, but so in
27:09
tune to what the question was. That was perfect.
27:13
Okay. When someone feels stuck or defeated, how
27:18
can the right connection become a turning point?
27:20
And what steps helps that happen? So when they're
27:26
stuck. Yeah. I felt stuck. I've hit that wall.
27:31
Yeah. Many times. Yeah. And I would say there
27:38
are certain friendships and people that you can
27:41
just somehow. See them is in almost think, wow,
27:47
where were you the entire time? Because that
27:53
one person can go ahead and just say that one
27:56
thing that you just hadn't thought of. That also
27:58
ties back into every person matters. And everybody
28:03
has a very key piece of input and things. If
28:07
you were to panic in a situation like this. it's
28:12
likely going to create a mistake. And when you're
28:16
stuck, that's usually when, that's what I'm talking
28:19
about, that panic right there, that's what creates
28:21
the mistake. But if you can stay calm, it's going
28:24
to create that clarity. Now that one person right
28:26
there that may have that one piece of input for
28:29
you, that could change everything. And so as
28:34
far as where you can go from there, Now you have
28:38
the opportunity to master those basics until
28:40
they're absolutely automatic for you. And no
28:43
matter what it is that you're doing, it's all
28:45
going to show up naturally once those reps are
28:48
all getting completed one after the next. And
28:51
that one person, that one connection could have
28:54
been that one thing that solves it. There are
28:57
people out there. I'm not quoting anybody in
29:01
specific. But I will paraphrase an article that
29:04
I had read not too long ago. And there was this
29:07
individual who had, I believe, a net worth of,
29:10
I want to say, $1 ,000. And that was everything
29:16
that they had to their name. And that net worth
29:19
was all liquid asset. There were no physical
29:23
assets. And they spent, I believe, $900 -something,
29:28
and it was wasted. Now, I'm not saying that it
29:32
was wasted. They quoted it as being wasted. Now,
29:35
again, this is just paraphrasing the story. What
29:37
ended up happening was they went to a party or
29:42
a gathering, a celebration perhaps. And during
29:47
this entire situation, what happened was they
29:51
were standing in the corner, but they were still
29:55
smiling. And you know how sometimes when people
29:59
stand in a corner, they're usually mokey. For
30:02
their facial expressions, it really says all.
30:04
And so what ended up happening was somebody went
30:07
up and they commented on the fact that, wow,
30:09
you're in a corner, but you're happy. What's
30:11
going on? And they're like, oh, you know, like
30:14
those nervous people. They make joke on joke
30:17
on joke, but they don't know what else to do.
30:19
That was that person's survival instinct. Somebody
30:22
else had picked up on it. and wanted to go ahead
30:25
and lend a hand so they had a very warm conversation
30:27
now that person who was standing in the corner
30:30
nervously smiling is now i believe worth over
30:33
15 million dollars that one conversation was
30:38
all that person needed and that conversation
30:41
was i would love to go ahead and get a cup of
30:44
coffee with you and from there everything changed
30:49
i don't know The details of the story or the
30:53
rest of what happened during that conversation
30:55
over coffee, I'm assuming something very good,
30:58
though. Absolutely. I want to take your mindset
31:03
of what that story said, okay? And I want to
31:08
put it into a LinkedIn conversation. You can
31:14
ask for, if you're struggling and you want to
31:18
get hold of someone, Contact them on LinkedIn.
31:22
Say, look, I'm really interested in your company
31:25
or your corporation. I would just like to pick
31:29
your brain. Would you have 15 minutes for me
31:31
or grab a cup of coffee? And 99 times out of
31:36
100, they're going to say yes. Because A, people
31:40
love when they talk about themselves, but they
31:42
love to help somebody else. Now, I've been fortunate
31:46
where I've had two or three of those phone calls.
31:49
They said, look, I'd just like to pick your brain.
31:52
Would you mind if I bought you a cup of coffee?
31:54
Not at all. I went out and had a cup of coffee.
31:57
But I told them, what do you want to know? Because
32:00
I'll tell you anything. But that's the way it
32:03
all starts. So if you don't have that one person
32:08
that you can always turn to, to always give you
32:10
that kind of a straight way of looking at it,
32:14
if you need that alternate way, just... Pick
32:18
a brain. Pick somebody's brain. Because A, you
32:21
never know where the information is going to
32:22
come from. But you're going to make somebody
32:25
else feel better. And they may know somebody
32:29
who will help you. Everything happens in a circle.
32:35
And everything happens for a reason. My mother
32:39
said that for my whole life. Whenever anything
32:42
really bad happens, just listen. Don't worry
32:45
about it. Everything happened for a reason and
32:49
you will be better. And I'm like, oh yeah, sure.
32:51
But it was proved to be correct almost every
32:54
time. But the point of the story is if you have
32:58
that person to contact, to call, to email, to
33:03
something, anything, just to get that little
33:06
bit of advice, don't be afraid. Don't be afraid
33:10
to do it. Just go out and do it. That's all.
33:14
Okay. What do people misunderstand most about
33:19
discipline in networking, and how do you teach
33:22
them to approach it differently? The first thing
33:26
that just came to mind is they feel as though,
33:30
now for some people I don't want to be attacking
33:32
or anything like that, but they see it as tasking.
33:41
They see it as a job. And for some of us, we're
33:49
like, oh, I already have a really busy schedule.
33:52
I got to go ahead and now find time to go network.
33:55
I've got to drive time. I've got kids. I've got
33:59
martial arts classes. I've got yoga. I've got
34:02
this. I've got that. We've all got things. We
34:05
really do. Yeah. But the thing about it is that
34:12
ultimately a closed mouth. is not fed so one
34:18
way that i would say to go ahead and shift the
34:22
mindset is not i have to go do this event over
34:27
here i have to go ahead and go participate in
34:33
this networking event and meet people and pass
34:36
out business cards that i had to pay for i get
34:39
to go meet these people i get to go meet some
34:44
incredible individuals in my own community who
34:48
are making ripples through all of the town folk
34:52
here. That is pretty special. Now, to even bring
34:57
it to another level, imagine you thought to yourself,
35:00
gosh, I get to be a part of this. And when I
35:07
go ahead and think of things like that, because
35:10
we all do it, even us as coaches and speakers,
35:15
we sometimes are, as the parents would say, okay,
35:21
kid, preach. As we're saying these things to
35:24
other people, sometimes even us, we go ahead
35:28
and forget about the lessons. Our selves are
35:31
teaching others. And so I found myself, of course,
35:34
100%. I am so far from perfect. I will never
35:37
be a perfect person. But I will absolutely strive
35:40
to make everyone smile and deliver absolute pure
35:44
value to others at all times. And so with that
35:48
being said, I have found myself slipping before
35:51
in the past and really all the time in different
35:54
ways. And I have to realign the way that I'm
35:58
thinking. And just remember, this is an opportunity
36:02
to do something good. Or who knows, even for
36:07
some folks, depending on where it is that you
36:10
are with whatever you've got going on, it could
36:13
be an opportunity of greatness. And now that's
36:16
pretty dang cool. And then who knows? What if
36:21
it's something so amazing? Oh my gosh, Michael,
36:24
could you imagine? What if Fred over here is
36:27
about to... Go do something, and this is actually
36:30
going to solidify his family and their success
36:36
for generations to come. My goodness, my head
36:41
blown. All you need is that one thing, that one
36:48
thing that will just twist just in your favor,
36:51
and you'll never know unless you go out there
36:54
and intentionally network. Yes. Intentionally
36:59
go out and meet those people. You make the conversations.
37:02
You make the conversation about them, not about
37:05
you. You try to give, not receive. You just have
37:09
a good time. Just imagine the weight that gets
37:13
off your shoulders by you being able to go there
37:16
and do this. It's a wonderful feeling. And that's
37:21
what I try to promote. So yes, everything you
37:24
just said, yes and yes, it's just intentional
37:27
networking and it will all go away. Okay, so
37:31
now you talk about clarity. How does someone
37:33
decide who they truly need in their circle instead
37:37
of just gathering a large list of contacts? Well,
37:41
the decision point. Yeah. When you wake up in
37:48
the morning. When you wake up in the morning,
37:51
does there feel like there's a weight lifted
37:54
off your shoulders? Or does it feel like the
37:57
weight fell on your shoulders? That right there
38:03
is how I tend to look at it. And the reason for
38:07
that is because, generally speaking, before one
38:10
goes to bed, now, generally speaking, A lot of
38:15
people I have spoken to do something similar
38:18
in nature or at least have the intent of doing
38:22
something to ultimately reprogram their mind
38:25
while they sleep. But most folks want to go to
38:29
bed happy, satisfied, something of the sorts.
38:36
Now, how do I get there? It could be that somebody
38:41
performed a prayer. It could be that somebody
38:45
wrote down, I know that some people have thought
38:47
journals right beside their bed. And so that
38:50
way they can write down maybe affirmations or
38:53
they can write down simple things that they must
38:56
do the next day or just things that they are
38:59
thankful for. So when you wake up, are you dissatisfied?
39:05
Okay, let's follow that. Why? What's going on
39:10
there? Let's go ahead and really lift up the
39:14
hood and see, is it you're not achieving what
39:17
it is that you want to achieve? Okay. Why is
39:19
that? All right. Now we start off with the problem.
39:23
Now we're moving down the chain. So it's okay.
39:25
The people I was hanging out with, they always
39:27
want to party. Ah, interesting. There we go.
39:30
Now we're finding something here. They're breaking
39:32
down. Why are they always partying? Oh, I don't
39:34
know. Because that's all they ever do. Okay.
39:38
I understand. Some people, they like doing certain
39:40
things. What other friends do you have? What
39:42
other relationships have you been working? And
39:45
by working, I'm not to say that, oh, I got to
39:48
go ahead and do this. It's just more of the less
39:51
way of asking, okay, what is going on? And then
39:56
if they happen to maybe think, I don't have any
39:59
other friends. Interesting. Okay. What are we
40:03
doing in order to get friends? Are you going
40:05
out and just like little socials or are you going
40:08
out to? These networking events, what do you
40:11
have going on? So that is how I begin figuring
40:16
out my own circle. I'm not necessarily making
40:21
it like on the disc where we have all those different
40:24
types of behavioral analysis quotients. And I'm
40:28
not necessarily putting friendship in all those
40:32
little circles. I'm taking some of the knowledge
40:34
of that and I'm thinking to myself, okay. And
40:38
some people are going to think about this very
40:40
over analytically. Others are going to go ahead
40:42
and just take a brief look at it and be like,
40:44
okay, they could see like, all right, yep, this
40:46
friend wants to party all the time, never wants
40:47
to do anything constructive, never really wants
40:50
to hang out anywhere other than Bach. And so
40:52
that is how I start to really look at the circle,
40:57
engage whether or not are these productive friends
41:00
or are they non -productive friends? Are these
41:04
people? that I should go ahead and continually
41:07
add to my circle? Or should I maybe go ahead
41:12
and take them out of the circle and plug in other
41:15
people that actually make me want to go ahead
41:18
and stand up on my two feet like a bipedal creature
41:21
that we are, and then make sure we're marching
41:25
forward to whatever it is that we're trying to
41:28
achieve. And so that's how I go ahead and look
41:32
at that. That's a very good way of looking at
41:35
it. The people you surround yourself with, it's
41:38
so very important to the person who you want
41:41
to be. Because if you want to be, I want to be
41:44
this great person, but you're hanging out with
41:46
the people who always want to drink and go to
41:48
bars and everything else, they're holding you
41:50
down, right? So you have to befriend those people
41:54
that will help you. get to where you want to
41:57
go. Not saying you're going to kick out those
41:59
old friends. You have friends for 30 years. You're
42:02
not going to kick them out of your circle. You
42:04
just won't pay that much attention to them. And
42:08
you pay attention to the people that will help
42:11
you, unless you're that happy. If you're that
42:13
happy with going out and drinking and canoodling
42:17
and whatever else you're going to do, that's
42:20
fine. Yeah, that's awesome, man. If you want
42:23
to get ahead, then you surround yourself with
42:25
people like that. Yes. Very good. Very good.
42:28
Okay. What's one story where perseverance led
42:33
to a meaningful relationship? And how did that
42:36
relationship change the course of a mission or
42:40
a business result? I've got quite a few of those
42:45
ones. Let's see. Just give me an easy one. Yeah,
42:51
we can definitely go with an easy one. I can
42:54
go ahead and do that. College. Let's talk about
42:58
college. College was an interesting time. For
43:03
some people, it's a really tough adjustment.
43:07
It's something that makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
43:10
But other people, they're just like, I was born
43:12
to be in college. We got a little bit of all
43:16
mix going on. Me, though, I was fairly neutral.
43:19
I understood at the time that college is what
43:25
was needed for my career trajectory at the time.
43:29
It wasn't something I was in attendance for on
43:33
a daily basis just because I wanted to go ahead
43:37
and just be with the cool kids or just doing
43:41
it just to be there or anything like that. One
43:44
thing that I really aspire to do was because
43:50
this is when I was learning foundational skills
43:53
for business. And yes, I had those experiences
43:58
growing up, don't get me wrong, but this was
44:00
more or less when I was actually introduced to
44:03
textbook. examples and techniques so i was really
44:07
beginning to implement other strategies that
44:10
i was no longer self -developing but i was developing
44:14
by way of listening to the instruction of others
44:16
and so there were a couple of people who i had
44:21
met and there was a business opportunity that
44:26
i was introduced to during my time in college.
44:30
And so what I ended up doing was I kept talking
44:33
to the lead person and I kept asking, prompting,
44:36
hey, I know I'm good enough to go ahead and help
44:39
you out. Let me help you. Let's be friends. I
44:41
kept pushing and pushing. And I was doing all
44:45
of these things because I was trying to really,
44:47
at the time, I just was like, let me get rich.
44:51
Let me get what you got. And so I didn't have
44:54
many other thoughts aside from that. But what
44:57
I started to realize is that when I was pushing
45:00
forward in a way of just, oh, hey, I want to
45:04
just get like stacks on stacks, so to speak.
45:07
It was, even though looking back, the business
45:14
structure itself wasn't really sound. The person
45:17
was very confident with what they were doing.
45:20
And they saw me as not really caring about anything
45:25
but. money. And they picked up very quickly on
45:30
that. It was very instinctual, which I've noticed
45:34
even during regular casual conversation, people
45:37
will notice. People will notice that that's all
45:39
that you care about, or if you're disingenuine,
45:42
or if you are having something that we all call
45:46
a secondary agenda. And it's very easy to see
45:50
through. Now, With that being said, I started
45:55
to shift my mindset there. It was like, wow,
45:58
okay. If I really want to go ahead and put myself
46:02
in this position, I need to be a value to this
46:04
person. I need to bring them value. And then
46:07
if they see that I'm bringing them value, they're
46:10
going to perhaps see value in me. And so that's
46:14
when the tide started turning. So we started
46:17
that and I kept persevering. I kept pushing and
46:19
I changed and they commented on it. actually
46:23
a few months in. They said, wow, I'm seeing something
46:25
different in you. You're developing. And I said,
46:29
gosh, that's so cool that you noticed. Thank
46:32
you. And so that right there really helped me
46:35
self -propel into the next echelon of things.
46:39
But it was quite the experience because I thought
46:44
that I had it all together. I thought that I
46:48
was leaning forward with the right foot the entire
46:50
time. but I actually had two left feet. And so
46:55
that was probably one of the biggest turning
46:58
points for me was that little, it was a silly
47:01
little business concept to looking back, but
47:05
it taught me so much. Yeah. The, the one thing
47:09
that I'm getting from the whole, your whole story
47:12
is that you learned one thing. And that one thing
47:16
was patience. You learn. That if you gave, going
47:22
back to what we were saying before, and you were
47:25
patient, you didn't just come right out saying,
47:27
look, I have this to sell, this to sell. You
47:29
said you gave them value and you waited for them
47:34
to see it. You waited for them to reciprocate.
47:38
So it taught you patience. And that patience
47:42
is what got you ahead. So that's what I got out
47:46
of your whole story. Absolutely. Okay. So how
47:50
do you stay focused on the bigger goal of growth
47:52
while still being genuine and supportive in the
47:56
moment when talking with new people? This is
47:59
about to be a heavy one. Yeah. Not necessarily
48:05
emotionally, but I'll tell you what. Remember
48:07
Big Papi in baseball? Yeah, of course. Now you've
48:11
got great divisions here on baseball fans or
48:14
nothing. But he does come from the area that
48:18
I was at. So it's definitely natural that I bring
48:20
him up. So keeping the big picture in my mind
48:26
at all times is super important. Matter of fact,
48:28
I wish you could see it, but up on a wall over
48:31
here, I've got something that says stick to the
48:34
plan. Stick to the plan. Great, great advice.
48:41
Yes, because there are going to be so many distractions.
48:48
But if you can go ahead and just stick to the
48:52
plan that you personally created, you'd be surprised
48:56
at what type of success you can go ahead and
48:59
experience. And even when I'm developing those
49:02
new relationships, I'm always thinking of like
49:04
that overarching thing, stick to the plan. meet
49:07
these individuals here, see who thinks very similarly,
49:13
whose values and goals align with myself, and
49:19
think about the level at which you could all
49:24
elevate one another. In order to achieve your
49:28
all individual goals, because we all do ultimately
49:30
have individual goals, whether it's emotionally
49:33
or spiritually, relationally or monetarily. It's
49:39
all really going to come to a culmination of
49:43
we want success. And yes, success looks different
49:47
for everybody, how I just described. And so if
49:50
you can go ahead and one, stick to your plan.
49:53
And then two, be able to just still Charlie Mike
49:56
through all of this. And Charlie Mike is a military
49:59
term for continue mission for anybody that who
50:02
doesn't necessarily know. But if you can go ahead
50:05
and find a way to make those two dovetail one
50:10
another, I think that you're going to go ahead
50:13
and really be able to smile before you find yourself
50:17
sleeping at night. Absolutely. Absolutely. And
50:22
it's funny you said that. I've had a little symbol
50:24
on the side of my computer for about 15 years.
50:28
And what is it? It's a Nike symbol. Just do it.
50:32
Yes. Just do it. And that's it. Every time I
50:35
get stuck or whatever else, I just look at that
50:38
and say, look, just do it. Just do it. And so
50:41
everybody has that little bit of something. You
50:44
have that up on your wall. I have it on my computer,
50:47
something where you can see it all the time.
50:49
And it reminds you to just stick to the plan
50:53
or just do it or just it's something. But as
50:57
long as it motivates you, I don't care if it
50:58
says X, Y, Z. If it motivates you, then you're
51:02
going to do it. All right. So let's bring this
51:05
podcast full circle. If someone listening today
51:09
wants to elevate their standards, strengthen
51:12
their mindset, and build relationships with more
51:15
intention, what is the first concrete step that
51:20
they can take within 48 hours? I'm going to say
51:24
this. Stabilize yourself before you try to scale.
51:32
Refine. Before you try to sell, sell a product.
51:40
Sell ideas that you have. Sell whatever it is.
51:46
And I always will say, control first, speed second.
51:53
Absolutely. Absolutely. Listen, this is a great
51:57
conversation. Practical, real, honest, and packed
52:02
with ideas, people can apply immediately. If
52:05
this episode struck a nerve, good. That means
52:09
you're ready to elevate your standards, rethink
52:11
the way you build your circle, and show up with
52:14
more purpose. To our guests, thank you for bringing
52:18
your experience and your heart to this space.
52:21
To everyone listening, take one insight you heard
52:24
today and use it in your next conversation. That's
52:28
how progress starts. Until next time, keep showing
52:32
up, keep building strong relationships, and keep
52:35
turning conversations into opportunities. Tevin,
52:39
before we go, how can anybody or somebody get
52:43
hold of you? Because they liked you so much,
52:46
they want to be coached by you, or whatever the
52:49
reason, what's the best way to get hold of you?
52:53
Absolutely. Thank you so much, Michael. I appreciate
52:55
you asking that. And very easy to get a hold
52:58
of myself or my team. which inadvertently is
53:01
getting a hold of me. And that is going on to
53:04
Facebook or LinkedIn or Instagram. And you can
53:08
find my brand Momentum Mastery. That right there,
53:13
if you go ahead and interact with the page or
53:16
the group, or you send a direct message, it's
53:19
all going to go ahead to the same space, which
53:22
is over to my domain. And then you can also go
53:25
over to tevinmollett .com. Fantastic. Kevin,
53:30
thank you so much. You're a great guest. Thank
53:33
you again. Thank you so much, Michael. I appreciate
53:36
your time and your efforts here. Well, hold on,
53:43
folks. Don't go anywhere. Let's hear from our
53:46
sponsors. David Neal, co -founder, Revved Up
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Kids. Revved Up Kids is on a mission to protect
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the hands of a proven professional, Henry Kaplan.
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Henry is a global real estate agent with Century
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21, celebrating his 41st year in business. No
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matter where you're moving, Henry has the right
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connections for you. You can contact Henry at
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561 -427 -4888. A huge thank you to our guests
54:38
for sharing such incredible insights today. And
54:42
of course, a big shout out to you, our amazing
54:45
listeners, for tuning in and spending your time
54:48
with us. If you're interested in my digital courses,
54:51
being coached, or having me come and talk to
54:54
your company, just go to Michael and fill out
54:57
the request form. Remember, networking isn't
55:01
about being perfect. It's about being present.
55:04
So take what you've learned today. get out there,
55:07
and make some meaningful connections. If you've
55:10
enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to
55:13
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55:16
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55:19
Let's keep the conversation going. You can find
55:22
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55:26
website, foreman .com slash podcasts.