Latest / The Christian Reeve Podcast / Resilience in Creativity: Embracing the Struggle | The Christian Reeve Podcast #336

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Resilience in Creativity: Embracing the Struggle | The Christian Reeve Podcast #336 · The Christian Reeve Podcast

0:00
What a privilege it is to struggle for a life you actually
0:03
want instead of settling for one you don't.
0:08
That's arguably like my biggest fear is this idea of settling
0:12
for, for a mediocre life, a life I hate.
0:15
You know, I just, I don't understand the concept of
0:19
settling. Like, I don't, I don't get that.
0:22
I don't understand how people can can be content and I'm not,
0:25
I'm not throwing shade at them. Like, look, everyone's
0:27
different. I'm just saying for me
0:29
personally, that's not something that I feel that I can do right.
0:35
Hello and welcome back to another episode of the Christian
0:41
Reef Podcast. As you can see, it's just me.
0:46
I was going to do a show with Mr. Josh Leonard of the Pursuit
0:52
of Infinity podcast, but unfortunately he's not able to
0:55
join me today. So we'll probably push that show
0:58
back to December. It's it's going to happen, don't
1:02
worry. Josh is a very reliable guy.
1:05
It's going to happen. And I can't wait to bring you
1:07
that second instalment of our conversation on spirituality.
1:12
But for today, it's just me and I was hoping to kind of save the
1:17
solo episodes for next month, maybe even next year, which
1:23
leads me on to my first point, which is no podcast guest, which
1:29
prior to getting Josh on the show and a few other people that
1:32
are lined up now, ironically, I started putting together the
1:37
show notes for this particular podcast, which is a kind of a
1:42
general podcast. I don't know if it's going to
1:44
have a specific theme, but it's kind of a me discussing life
1:52
right now and just different, various different things, random
1:56
stuff. And as you know, when it when it
1:59
comes to solo episodes, I've over the years tended to try and
2:04
have like a deep dive on something specific or at least
2:07
have a topic. But sometimes, you know, you're
2:09
just going to end up talking a bit of everything and kind of
2:14
seeing where the conversation goes.
2:15
And it's interesting. After doing this show for five
2:20
years, it's crazy to think that I I'm struggling to to get
2:27
guests. But you know, it doesn't
2:31
surprise me. You know, this year has had so
2:34
many setbacks, rejections and tough times and it's just been
2:40
constant and exhausting and very much like my song Just Existing.
2:47
I have felt over the past year as though I'm just existing.
2:52
It's kind of been like being in a boxing ring and just being
2:55
endlessly punched in the face and just trying to get back up.
2:59
You know, everyone around you keeps saying get back up, come
3:01
on, get back up. And it's like eventually you
3:04
just have no energy. Eventually you're just exhausted
3:06
and you've got nothing left and you you'd have to rest or die.
3:11
I don't know, obviously hope it doesn't come to that Touchwood,
3:15
but the point is it's been a tough year and it's
3:23
heartbreaking when things don't work out and life is testing you
3:30
a lot. And, you know, with the podcast,
3:34
there's been a lot of compliments over the years from
3:38
various people saying that they listen to the show and they love
3:41
what I do. And, you know, to all those
3:43
people who ever listen to the show, who've appeared on the
3:45
show, who've shown interest in the Christian Reeve podcast, I
3:49
can only thank you enough. You know, I don't earn any money
3:53
from this. I think I've spoken about this
3:56
before, but I pay to produce this show as I do, you know,
4:05
creating my music and such, which is, is, is pretty common
4:09
for creatives, you know, but like, I've never made money from
4:14
this. And it's, it's never really been
4:16
about making money. It's just I've wanted to
4:19
obviously have some progress over the years.
4:23
And when you're not really making progress and you're
4:26
struggling to kind of get consistent viewership or
4:29
listenership, and then you get asked like, what's next for the
4:33
show? You're like, wow, I don't really
4:34
know. Like I've, I've tried everything
4:36
and you know, really it always just comes down to money and
4:40
resources. You know, if you have those
4:42
things, you can take your show to limits.
4:45
It's it's never seen before limit past the limits.
4:50
You know what I mean? I mean, for example, there's
4:53
shows that have just kind of appeared out of nowhere and
4:56
already have the equipment and the look and the feel and you
5:01
know, I don't, I don't have that.
5:03
I make the best of what I have. You know, I obviously I've, I've
5:08
invested in my good microphones for podcasting and voice acting,
5:12
and I've also invested in, you know, decent camera stuff, but
5:17
it's not anywhere where it needs to be.
5:20
And obviously I've not been able to do a physical show as of yet.
5:24
But that doesn't stop me from wanting to try and wanting to to
5:29
keep going. Like, I refuse to give up on
5:31
this. I'm just saying that it's kind
5:34
of tricky sometimes to find the motivation to keep going when
5:38
you're struggling with something as basic as just getting guests
5:41
to come on the show. And after five years, 300 plus
5:47
episodes, it's just a bit crazy, you know?
5:50
But the show started out with me just talking.
5:55
And if there's something I can do, it's talk.
6:00
Maybe too much. I don't know.
6:02
I'm trying to relax a bit on that these days and just kind of
6:06
speak when I actually have something profound to say or
6:09
interesting or just, you know, just something to contribute
6:12
rather than just talking for the sake of it.
6:15
I hate the sound of my own voice anyway, contrary to popular
6:18
belief. But it's, it's obviously when
6:22
you've got a show, you kind of have to talk, you know, or if
6:26
you know, when I'm doing my live streams, I have to talk.
6:31
It's important. Otherwise there's no content.
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And that's kind of really when push comes to the shove, the
6:36
most important aspect I feel is always the content.
6:39
Yeah. It doesn't matter how good your
6:41
equipment is and the resources you have.
6:43
If you don't have good content, you have nothing.
6:47
And I take a lot of pride in producing this show and, and
6:54
just my work ethic in general. And, you know, I have a goal for
7:00
this show that maybe not everyone is aware of that I
7:04
wanted to do this show for at least 10 years.
7:07
And we're about to enter year 6, which is crazy to think about,
7:13
actually. Five years of the show entering
7:16
year 6. I started this show because I
7:22
loved podcasts and I've been listening to podcasts for so
7:25
many years, way before they got like popular.
7:30
I just, I just did it because I wanted to do a podcast.
7:33
I felt like I had something to contribute.
7:35
And I went from being, you know, a newbie that had no idea what
7:39
he was doing to arguably being a veteran.
7:42
Now, you know, I've seen so many podcasts come and go and I'm
7:48
still here like a disease just latching on, carrying on.
7:53
I refuse to give up. Even even if the show gets like
7:55
no views listens at all, I'll still keep going.
7:59
And maybe I'm just too stubborn and I don't know when to call it
8:01
quits, but I don't believe in quitting and I think of nothing
8:06
else. I like having conversations with
8:08
people and I like sharing stories and storytelling and I
8:13
don't want that to stop. You know, I, for what it's
8:16
worth, I enjoy doing this podcast and I don't see any
8:21
reason to stop for why just because the show is not doing
8:24
well. Well, most things in my life are
8:27
not doing well, but you know, I have a passion for them and I
8:31
want to see them succeed. And you can't really do that if
8:36
if you give up, you know what I mean?
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Opportunities are not going to jump in onto your lap.
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They come through hard work, great determination, refusal to
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give up and being seen. And ironically, yeah, I'm not
8:51
being seen, but I'm more likely to be seen if I'm trying versus
8:54
if I'm not trying, then I'll never, never be seen.
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And you know, it's, it's like I've said before, like I'm
9:03
trying to just progress, you know, it's never been about fame
9:08
or, or money or anything. It's just about being able to
9:10
make a living for you doing creative projects and, and
9:16
getting better at that and, and hopefully winning people over in
9:19
the process. Moving on, I have reached a
9:25
somewhat concerning point in my life where I have started just
9:30
saying it is what it is. Maybe a little bit too much.
9:37
You know, when I, it's because I'm, I'm so used to things going
9:41
wrong. I'm so used to hard times,
9:44
things not working out, rejection, disrespect, and and
9:48
just kind of generally bad things piling up in my life.
9:52
The I'm kind of reaching this point where it doesn't really
9:56
faze me anymore. Like I kind of just expect it to
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happen and I end up saying it is what it is because I just, I
10:04
don't really know. There's nothing I can really do
10:05
about these things that I'm not already doing.
10:08
And if people ask me about it, I'm, I'm doing everything.
10:13
And then they're just like, oh, OK, well, keep trying.
10:17
And it's like, yeah, thanks. You know, I keep trying to
10:22
change my life and I make the most of any and all free time I
10:27
have. I mean, this is an example.
10:28
I'm recording this on a Sunday. And, you know, I, I do find time
10:34
to rest. But you know, any time that's
10:36
free time is time I can be getting things done.
10:39
And I could have just decided to not do a podcast today because
10:42
the podcast I'd planned isn't happening today.
10:46
But you know, I for the few people that do care and want to
10:51
see a show, I want to give them a show and I have stuff planned.
10:55
You know, I'm a maybe an over prepper.
10:58
I've been told I prepare too much.
10:59
But I believe that if you're going to create a product or a
11:05
show, you should really plan it out and and have something that
11:10
looks quite professional rather than just someone talking down a
11:14
microphone for an indeterminate amount of time.
11:17
Like I've seen a lot of podcasts over the years.
11:19
Try that. And just just because you and
11:24
your buddies have fun times doesn't make that a show.
11:26
Like you've still got a you can, you can tell your stories, you
11:29
can put that together and make it a show, but you have to have
11:32
structure, you know, you have to have a show that's kind of
11:36
segmented and leads into those things rather than just like,
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oh, let's just sit here and and shoot the shit.
11:43
And you know, that's a show. Like, no, it's not.
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I've studied all the greats, all the all the best podcasters out
11:50
there. I continue to and I also study
11:53
like the best interviewers that have been and I really try my
11:58
best to, you know, live up to, to their, to their level and,
12:06
and, and try to be better at all times.
12:08
There's always room to improve basically.
12:12
So it's important, obviously to use up your time.
12:16
And it's a bit frustrating right now, especially this year,
12:21
because I feel like all I do is work and I just never have
12:24
money. I'm kind of in this spiral and a
12:29
lot of the time I feel like I need like some sort of miracle
12:33
for things to work out. But you know, there's no point
12:38
crying over things. At the end of the day, life is
12:41
always going to change. Sometimes it takes longer than
12:45
it should, but you can get to a point where things don't affect
12:52
you anymore and you can almost laugh at them.
12:55
You can be aware of when hard times are coming and it kind of
13:00
helps you prepare for them. And I think it helps you to
13:04
inform others and give advice to other people as well because and
13:08
not everyone is ready to to face those challenges.
13:12
And I don't know, I feel like in many ways I'm kind of
13:15
unbreakable. You know, when I look at my life
13:18
and what I've dealt with, like this year is not even the worst
13:22
year I've ever had. It's just been, I'd say it's
13:25
been a bad year because there's just too many things going wrong
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at the same time and it's very difficult to handle all of them
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or to even kind of know where to start, You know, when it's all
13:40
kind of just destroyed and all over the place.
13:43
It's like, what do I do? But I know what I I shouldn't
13:50
do, which is bury my head in the sand or give up or just sit
13:54
there and cry about it. I've been through all the
13:56
emotions. I've done all the things.
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Now it's just a case of finding the motivation to keep going and
14:05
perhaps reinvent, you know, And I don't know what that really
14:09
looks like, but I do know that things are going to move forward
14:14
regardless of whether or not I do.
14:17
And I think that's why it's important to embrace that and to
14:21
move with the times. The past doesn't matter because
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the past is dead, it's buried, it's done.
14:26
The future is yet to be written and we can't see it anyway.
14:30
So all that matters is this moment and what we're doing
14:32
right now. So there it is.
14:37
I've got some stuff about struggle here from a quote book,
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so some of you might recognize this.
14:45
It's a quote book that I was gifted.
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It was blank and I've been filling it up slowly.
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I've got about 126 quotes in here and I thought I would talk
15:00
about struggle because I found some really good quotes.
15:07
The I thought I might expand upon a little bit and maybe it
15:11
might give you an idea of where how I see struggle and how I'm
15:16
learning to kind of embrace it as much as I can.
15:20
So here's a quote. What a privilege it is to
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struggle for a life you actually want instead of settling for one
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you don't. That's arguably like my biggest
15:33
fear is this idea of settling for, for a mediocre life, a life
15:38
I hate. You know, I just I don't
15:41
understand the concept of settling or, you know, what was
15:47
it like being content? Like I don't I don't get that.
15:51
I don't understand how people can can be content.
15:54
And I'm not I'm not throwing shade at them.
15:56
Like look, everyone's different. I'm just saying for me
15:59
personally, that's not something that I feel that I can do.
16:04
And you know, I've tried no a normal life in the past and it's
16:10
never worked out. It's always ended like pretty
16:15
like cat. It's always been catastrophic.
16:17
And I think it's by design. You know, I don't think I'm
16:20
supposed to be that kind of person.
16:22
It's not who I am. It's not what my life is
16:26
supposed to be. But I'm also I know what I love
16:32
to do in life and I don't I know what I don't like to do in life.
16:36
And I'm very clear on those things.
16:38
I feel that my goals are very clear, but I don't know
16:41
everything future wise just seems like a blank canvas like
16:46
go either way and there's really no way of knowing.
16:50
But this bit about struggling for a life you actually want and
16:53
how that's a privilege. Like I completely agree.
16:56
I think that sometimes it's easy to lose sight of that when
17:00
you're struggling because like some people never get to pursue
17:03
these things that they, for whatever reason, there's just
17:05
blockades in the way, barriers in the way that prevent them
17:10
from being able to pursue their goals, whatever they may be.
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And so yes, it is a privilege to try.
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Not everyone gets this chance. Some people are trapped in in
17:21
lives. They never chose you.
17:24
You're fighting for a future that feels right to your soul.
17:28
It's kind of expanding on what I just said, but also like when I
17:32
think about what resonates with me and what doesn't, but I could
17:37
never be passionate about a customer service job or a
17:42
marketing job because they don't inspire me.
17:45
You know? I see all the problems.
17:47
I see how underpaid people are, how disrespected people get
17:51
treated, how exhausted you are mentally, physically,
17:54
emotionally after every single shift.
17:58
Some shifts are better than others, but most of them, you
18:00
know, you're not working, you're surviving, You're trying to just
18:03
get through it and get the money.
18:04
But sometimes, you know, you get, you get to the end of it
18:07
and, and you've been taxed like crazy and there's never any
18:12
enough money and prices go up and you and you and you're just
18:16
disrespected, you know, like I went to a dinner the other day
18:19
and there was, it was for a, a company that was very, I don't
18:24
know, very vain, superficial kind of vibes.
18:26
Lots of people in the audience that were like that.
18:29
Not everyone, most people were lovely, but there was a few just
18:32
rude people. And people have been rude to me
18:36
a million times over, you know, if you've ever worked in
18:39
customer service, I mean, it's people being rude is like the
18:43
rain in Manchester. It's just something that you
18:46
expect. But there are every now and
18:49
again, just moments where it kind of hits you.
18:52
And I don't know if that's because like you're desperately
18:55
trying to get away from this life that you don't want to
18:57
lead, or you hate how people undermine you or make you feel
19:03
or make you feel lesser than, or the fact that, you know, like
19:07
the goals aren't working out, the dreams ain't becoming a
19:10
reality. And, and you know, for me, like
19:13
I, I keep getting older and it, people are like, Oh, is this
19:17
your career? And I'm like, no, it's not.
19:19
It's never been my career. And it's sad to to to feel like
19:25
it even could be nothing against the, the job.
19:28
A job is a job, but it's just I could never do the things I love
19:32
as a hobby. You know, you don't sacrifice
19:36
blood, sweat and tears and everything that you have for a
19:40
hobby when it's in your soul, when it's who you are, nothing
19:44
else will do. And it's exhausting.
19:47
But I would rather suffer and struggle and seemingly be
19:53
chasing a dream that most people think is a pipe dream then
19:58
accept a life of mediocrity and misery and know forever that you
20:05
know I'm destined for misery. Like what is the point in that?
20:09
That makes no sense at all. Your struggle is not a
20:12
punishment, it's a sign that you refuse to live on autopilot.
20:19
Most people never even try. This one hit me so hard.
20:23
I've met a lot of people over the years who maybe are insecure
20:26
or they don't realize their potential and it's really sad
20:31
when people don't realize their potential, especially when you
20:34
can see it. You can see in them something
20:37
special that they don't see. I got just the other day, I was
20:41
trying to push, push a friend of mine into doing more arty stuff
20:48
because she's she's fantastic. She's got an eye for it.
20:51
And I know she wants to do something, but it's not clear
20:55
exactly what. And I gave her a few examples.
20:58
Well, you could do this, you could do this.
20:59
Like what about this? And all I know for definite is
21:02
we're both in the same boat as far as hating the jobs that we
21:05
have and feeling like almost like failures.
21:08
But you know, I always liken it to the whole trapped bird thing.
21:14
You know, the bird is not meant to be trapped in a cage.
21:16
It's meant to fly and I feel like that's ultimately what it
21:20
feels like to be a creative. You just want to fly.
21:23
You want to saw, you want to share art and, and, and really
21:29
touch people's souls and inspire and, and make people feel
21:32
something and make people remember what it means to be
21:35
alive. You know, that's what really
21:38
matters. You could have played it safe.
21:41
You could have stayed comfortable, you could have
21:44
listened to everyone else, but you didn't.
21:47
If I had a pound for every time someone turned around to me and
21:51
said, oh, how's your hobby going?
21:54
Or, you know, are you having fun?
21:56
Or you know, oh, don't you think you should play it safe and get
22:00
a real job or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
22:02
Like it's just same old, same old, same old.
22:05
They just don't get it because and then there's different
22:09
reasons. Maybe they never chased their
22:11
dreams. Maybe they live a life of
22:14
contentment. Maybe they're afraid.
22:16
Maybe they were afraid to chase their dreams.
22:18
I don't know. I'm not in their head.
22:21
I just know that for me, I know exactly what I want my life to
22:24
look like. And I've the the worst part
22:26
about it is as well. And maybe the best part
22:30
simultaneously is I've had a taste of it.
22:33
I've done acting and been paid for it.
22:35
I've done voice acting and been paid for it.
22:37
I've done music and been paid for it.
22:39
And whenever I got paid to do these things, it kind of in my
22:43
head reaffirmed the fact that I am a professional and not just
22:47
an amateur. You know, it was always an honor
22:50
and it is always an honor every single time that I get an
22:53
opportunity to do something creative and I get paid for it.
22:56
But even if I don't, it's still an honor.
22:59
It's still an opportunity. It's still something I live and
23:03
breathe and, and you know what I mean?
23:05
Like if someone said, hey, do you want to play a gig and it's
23:07
not paid? I'll do it for free.
23:09
I'd rather get paid, but I'd do it for free because I love
23:12
performing music so much. Whereas if someone said, hey, do
23:16
you want to work a day at the hotel for free?
23:20
Like hell no, you know? And that's the difference
23:23
really. One day you'll look around and
23:27
realize you built a life that feels like you in every struggle
23:32
will make sense. So all of these particular
23:34
quotes have been from a company or a brand called Mental
23:38
Aspects. Give them a shout out this
23:42
quote. I think about this a lot.
23:44
I think about the past and where the past has led me to.
23:50
Yeah, people say that things never change sometimes or that
23:52
you get stuck in a rut. I can honestly say that my life
23:56
has changed for the better. It's not where I want it to be
23:59
and I'm not happy, but I'm definitely happier than I was.
24:03
I know what it feels like to truly feel trapped.
24:07
I don't. I no longer feel trapped
24:08
anymore. I feel like I have the ability
24:12
to control my life again, but it's always a risk.
24:18
I continue. Every day is a risk, you know,
24:20
Like, I don't even know if I'm going to have work next year.
24:23
But there's a weird sense of excitement in that, in the
24:25
possibility and the fact that you never know what your next
24:29
paycheck is going to be. You never know how it's going to
24:32
work out, but you know, somehow it will work out.
24:35
Somehow, someway it will work out.
24:37
And it's so much better than just being locked in to
24:40
something you can't change. I said something about that,
24:43
like, don't know, I can't put it into words, but I just, I really
24:48
feel like there's something there.
24:49
And sometimes when I'm really struggling with things, I'm
24:53
concerned about how much I'm going through and the struggle
24:56
in general. I like to think about where my
25:00
life might be in 5-10 years from now.
25:03
I like to jokingly imagine myself on like an interview with
25:10
someone prominent and they're interviewing me about my life,
25:12
and they're talking about this time now.
25:14
And they're like, oh, do you remember when you were
25:17
struggling like this and what did you learn?
25:19
And I've got so many stories, so many things I could say.
25:23
I really feel like if I did ever make it, I'd have a story that
25:27
might resonate with a lot of people and might inspire other
25:30
people to never give up because that's where I'm at right now.
25:34
I'm, I'm in this kind of feeling of desperation, but I can't give
25:40
up. I just can't.
25:41
I won't. I refuse.
25:43
And whenever I think about how much I want it, like I want it
25:46
bad. I want it more than anyone.
25:48
Maybe as a bold thing to say, I don't know.
25:51
I just giving up is not invoke my vocabulary, let's put it that
25:56
way. Moving on, next year will be my
26:02
6th year in Manchester. Six years.
26:06
So much has happened. I've changed a lot during that
26:09
time. No single year in those 5-6
26:13
years looks the same. And you know, I think that's
26:16
important because I think the minute your life becomes
26:21
monotonous that that's when you've got a big problem like
26:25
you, you need to keep changing. Life needs to keep changing and
26:28
evolving. It's really important.
26:32
I don't know if I'm going to stay here.
26:33
I, I don't think so. I think potentially next year
26:37
might be my last year in Manchester.
26:39
I feel like it's time to move on.
26:42
Has the city been good to me? I don't know.
26:44
It's, it's been the source of pain and struggle, but also
26:47
opportunity as well. Lots of opportunity.
26:51
This is this is the city that I made my first album in.
26:54
This is the city that gave me opportunities to be on, you
27:00
know, to further my acting career, to meet artists and get
27:06
inspired again. That got me back into music in a
27:09
way that I'd not really felt about it for quite some time.
27:12
Overall, I would say it's been a positive experience.
27:16
There's been a lot of hard times, but you know, maybe you
27:20
have to go through those hard times to really get the most out
27:22
of yourself and out of life in general.
27:26
So there it is, the state of the UK job market.
27:31
I mentioned before that I am facing potential unemployment
27:37
next next year. And this is like several years
27:40
in a row now because I've been going for like casual jobs, part
27:43
time jobs, stuff like that. And you know, loads of people
27:49
have said to me like, why don't you just get full time work?
27:51
Why don't you just get something, you know, reliable.
27:55
And it's like, well, that takes all my time.
27:58
Therefore all my ability to do what I need to do creatively.
28:02
Taking a full time job is would essentially mean me giving up,
28:06
which just again, like I spelled out before, is just simply not
28:10
an option. But moreover, like I just see a
28:13
lot of problems, gaping problems with the whole full time setup.
28:18
Like I remember when I was doing marketing and I transitioned to
28:21
to freelance marketing, I realized pretty quickly that
28:24
like a standard 40 hour marketing job is such a waste of
28:28
time because you can get most of the work done generally in the
28:33
first couple of hours, that of the day, and then you're just
28:35
sitting around waiting for work, you know, And obviously the the
28:39
busier your company is, the less likely that's that is to happen.
28:43
But I worked for international companies and that happened
28:45
regularly. Whereas when I was freelance,
28:48
like I got to work for a particular project, say
28:53
intensively for like a couple of weeks and then it was done and I
28:56
didn't have to work again for like a month.
28:58
And obviously I've always been looking for work anyway, just
29:01
because I like to be busy, but there's a lot of freedom in
29:05
that. And it really opened my eyes
29:07
about how just illogical and ineffective the 9:00 to 5:00 is.
29:14
I feel like it's only really necessary if you're trying to
29:21
make the best of time zones and differences, if you're doing
29:26
international business or, you know, if you're doing some sort
29:29
of sales position and you need to reach people within a
29:32
specific time. But even that like sales, like
29:36
often you're doing your core sales and business when most
29:40
people are working. You know, it's like the whole
29:43
Postal Service thing, like, Oh yeah, we'll deliver your post
29:46
when you're not home, but we can't deliver it when you will
29:49
be home. So go for it.
29:52
Same same with same with GP appointments, you know, same
29:55
thing. You got to take a day off to sit
29:59
on the phone from like 8:00 in the morning to hopefully get a
30:04
same day appointment. And if you don't get one, you
30:06
got to go through that trouble all over again.
30:10
It's bullshit. But bringing it back to looking
30:13
for part time work, you know, I'm trying to just find work
30:18
that will just not tie me down, but which will give me regular
30:25
income, you know, and if I'm not going to get money in creative
30:30
endeavours, then I've I've got to get money from somewhere.
30:33
But the job market right now is just flooded with scam jobs,
30:36
dodgy companies, volunteer jobs that want you to essentially do
30:39
full time work for free. And I want the fuck or jobs that
30:43
just want you to sign your life away.
30:44
There's really not much of variety now and there's serious
30:49
unemployment issues in this country right now.
30:51
But even someone like myself that's got a lot of experience,
30:56
it doesn't doesn't make a difference.
30:58
I mean, to give you an idea of my experience level, I have 11
31:03
years combined experience in customer service.
31:07
Everything from like retail, supermarket, retail, hotel work,
31:11
barista work, bartending, you know, everything you can imagine
31:16
I've done in the hospitality and customer services.
31:20
I have like 6 years experience in marketing.
31:23
I have a degree in marketing. I've done sales and recruitment.
31:27
I've been an active and voice actor for the last six years.
31:31
I've done music for like 21 years and you know, I've
31:35
performed regularly and been paid for it and have music out.
31:39
And obviously the podcast, I think it represents maybe
31:43
broadcasting experience to an extent.
31:47
There's a lot of potential there.
31:50
It doesn't mean anything in the job market.
31:53
You know, they always want more, more, more, more, more.
31:56
And it's just exhausted, man. And it's very much a very hard
32:01
time in the UK just trying to survive and navigate these hard
32:04
times with inflation constantly going up and, you know, prices
32:09
going up and wages either stay in the same or just never
32:13
increasing or increasing by such a pitiful amount that doesn't
32:17
make a difference anyway. It's just hard times, man.
32:22
I don't know how else to put it. Something I want to sort of move
32:26
on to is the UK quality epidemic.
32:31
So what I'm seeing more and more is that many fast food
32:35
restaurants, chains and popular restaurants in the UK have
32:40
increased their prices and dramatically decreased the
32:43
quality of their products and services.
32:46
And over the last 10 to 15 years, there's been a lot of
32:49
change on this front. And in my opinion, it seems like
32:55
we're all just being scammed. You know, these companies in
32:59
question appear to only care about cutting costs and getting
33:02
more money. And yeah, I know that's nothing
33:05
new with the corporate world, but it's it's just ridiculous.
33:08
Like there's companies, especially like restaurants that
33:13
haven't changed in like 20 years, but they're caught, their
33:17
services have gone down and there's less staff and the
33:21
quality of their food is, is terrible.
33:23
And yet people are paying way more money for it.
33:27
And those prices are in line with current inflation and where
33:30
the UK economy is. But it's like at a time like
33:32
this, if you're trying to get people to part with their money,
33:36
surely the quality has to be the best it can possibly can be.
33:41
Or like things have to be like re reimagined.
33:45
I don't know what the word would be.
33:46
You have to revise those prices and maybe either be a luxury
33:51
company that's got aiming for the very top end and delivering
33:56
that high level of service, or you need to make your everything
34:02
about deals and actually have deals that are worth it and, you
34:06
know, give people savings. You know, it's one or the other.
34:11
I think right now I don't feel, I don't feel like there's much
34:13
room for like the middle right now in the UK.
34:17
But really it to me, it feels like the UK general public is
34:22
not bothered about the decrease in standards.
34:25
And in my mind, getting as much value as possible for your money
34:31
is really important. And I always felt like in the
34:33
UK, we, we were on top of that, you know, I always felt like we,
34:37
we go for the cheaper companies, we go for good value for money.
34:44
And then there are a lot of people that still do pursue
34:46
that. But it feels like a lot of
34:47
people just don't mind paying astronomical prices.
34:50
It's like they're just happy to eat it.
34:51
Like it's, you know, it's just how things are right now.
34:55
And it's like nothing will ever change if we don't point start
34:58
boycotting or, you know, responding to the lack of
35:04
service in a in a kind of productive way.
35:08
If we just allow them to operate this way, then things will never
35:13
change for the better. And I just don't understand why
35:17
people put up with it. You know, I really don't moving
35:22
forward AI, artificial intelligence.
35:27
I've spoken about artificial intelligence for so many years
35:30
now, way before everything that's been happening even in
35:34
the last couple of years. But I've been one of the people
35:41
I guess criticizing AI and not because it was of its potential
35:46
but more because of how people use it.
35:50
I think the problem is not AI, the problem is is how humans are
35:55
using. AIAI is here to stay whether you
36:00
like it or not. I have mixed feelings about it.
36:03
I've always been upfront with my criticism, I do think it has its
36:07
uses but for me the key issue is how lazy it's making people and
36:12
people have never needed an excuse to be lazy but it's just
36:16
making people even more lazy. For example I've seen endless
36:20
adverts on YouTube about using AI tools to create singing
36:24
voices. Like this thing was a Co
36:28
producer they call it and I just think it's pointless and
36:32
soulless. Like in my opinion one of the
36:34
best things about being an artist is practicing, getting
36:37
better over time, understanding your sound more and and growing.
36:42
It took me the better part of 10 years to become a confident and
36:46
versatile singer, but it was practice, determination and hard
36:50
work that got me there, not just sitting and, and using Melodyne,
36:53
you know, auto tune to make things better or being lazy or
36:57
just being like, oh, that'll do, you know, or get or getting AI
37:00
to sing for me. Like like one of the tools I
37:03
saw. Basically it takes your voice
37:06
and pitch, corrects it and, and gives it like a better sounding
37:09
voice. And I'm like, what the fuck is
37:11
this? You know, I, I don't want
37:15
computer generated music. I want music with soul.
37:20
It's fine to use AI to help as like an assistant for things.
37:26
I use AI as an assistant for the podcast, but I don't use AI to
37:31
create a podcast. You know, I use it as a tool.
37:36
I don't use it as just like, oh, make a podcast for me and I'll
37:39
just sit here and, and just do nothing like that.
37:42
Fuck that. I just, you can't tell me that
37:47
you can achieve the same level of satisfaction after sitting
37:51
behind the computer for an hour and prompting the computer to do
37:54
everything for you. Like where is the challenge?
37:58
When I think about when I made my album, it took me like 14
38:03
days of harsh studio time and then a lot longer than that to,
38:07
to really shape it, plan it, plan the promotion, plan all the
38:11
other things I was going to do for it, like music videos and,
38:15
and the photography for it. And then, you know, the behind
38:18
the scenes documentary, like a lot of time and effort went into
38:22
all of it. And I look back on it with
38:24
pride. You know, it doesn't matter that
38:26
it's not got the numbers I wanted it.
38:28
None of that shit matters. What matters is the time and
38:32
effort and the fact that I did that.
38:33
And no one can ever take that away from me.
38:36
I can always look back, regardless of what the future
38:38
brings and go. I made an album.
38:41
I I did an album, you know, I didn't ask a computer to do it
38:45
for me. I was sat there in the studio
38:47
with people making it, and there it is.
38:51
I'm not saying that AI doesn't have a place in content creation
38:55
because it can be a fantastic tool for various things.
38:58
I mean, I've mentioned like I help it, I, I use AI as a tool
39:03
to help me create show notes and I use it for podcast clips
39:07
because I just simply don't have the time to sit there making the
39:10
clips. And it's been invaluable with
39:12
that. I honestly shout out to
39:15
Riverside. You know, I don't get, this
39:17
isn't a paid sponsorship. I don't get anything for this,
39:19
but I recently moved from this being like a like a zoom podcast
39:24
to this being a, a Riverside podcast.
39:28
I, I guess, and I can't tell you how much it's changed the show
39:33
for the better. And just giving me time and also
39:38
the ability to edit in a way that I'd never been able to
39:40
before. And it just feels like a new
39:45
chapter for the show, you know, it really feels like an
39:49
assistant rather than me just handing over my show to a
39:53
computer and letting the computer do it for me.
39:58
Like originally I was using tools like ChatGPT for planning
40:04
when I was struggling for some ideas for questions and things.
40:07
But I, I also have used it as like a base template for writing
40:11
articles or given like an idea of pointers of where something
40:15
can go. You know, I think it's useful
40:19
when you, when you use it in that manner because you're still
40:22
using your brain and engaging with your brain and planning and
40:25
creating things. You're just.
40:27
Using AI as a, as a starting point, you know, like a like a
40:33
hint if you like in a video game or just kind of like something
40:37
to help you, I don't know, like move forward, you know, if
40:42
you're stuck, sometimes you just need that little push.
40:45
And I think AI is very useful for that.
40:47
Ultimately though, right now too many people are using it as a
40:50
replacement for genuine creativity or work.
40:55
And I don't understand that, you know, when I think of everything
40:58
that I've achieved in my life, it's like I said with the album,
41:02
like I look back with pride because I think about the effort
41:04
and the time and the sacrifices that were made to achieve those
41:08
goals. There are no sacrifices with AI,
41:12
you know, you just sit there, input your prompt and that's it.
41:17
And that's soulless. When I think about how I grew,
41:21
what I gained from the experiences of making an album,
41:25
making a podcast, whatever, I think about what I learned.
41:30
I don't think that you learn anything from allowing computers
41:33
to essentially live your life for you.
41:36
And I think that's the real danger that society is ignorant
41:39
to when it comes to AI. When you talk about societal
41:42
dangers, I think we're very much headed towards a world like in
41:47
Wally, for example, where humans, you know, they just let
41:51
computers do everything for them and they don't, they consume and
41:55
they don't grow. They don't, you know, and like,
41:57
what is the point of being human if not to work on yourself and
42:03
create and be better than you were and learn and have
42:07
something to, to teach your children, your grandchildren,
42:10
whatever, and to experience the world, you know, to test
42:13
yourself, to discover what you can be and discover all these,
42:21
all these ways that maybe you underestimated yourself.
42:23
I feel like that's a big part of the human experience is
42:27
understanding just how strong you are and what you have to
42:32
give to the world. And you just can't do that by
42:36
relying on AI. It's quite scary.
42:39
Like I, I think the, these newer generations are, are really
42:43
going to struggle and people are struggling now because they're
42:46
not testing themselves, they're not growing, they're not
42:49
learning. They're just absorbing stuff.
42:52
Slop content, if you like. Let's talk about Sora as an
42:56
example. Sora is a program that has
42:59
recently hit the scene and people are using it in all sorts
43:03
of ways right now. You can spot that these videos
43:06
are AI, but we're not that far off the level of AI that will be
43:10
completely indistinguishable from real videos.
43:13
Many people are already fooled and that's concerning, but I can
43:17
see why voice inflections, facial mannerisms, faces and
43:22
bodies in general, and the atmosphere in these videos are
43:26
all reaching a highly risk realistic level right now.
43:29
Like, I think the first ones that truly stood out to me were
43:32
the street interview ones where they were able to like,
43:35
recapture that feeling of being on like a busy St. and the sound
43:39
the microphones would make in that situation.
43:43
They really kind of created that atmosphere accurately and it was
43:49
funny and interesting, but also kind of terrifying in a way.
43:52
From what I understand with Sora, you have to agree to allow
43:56
Sora to use your likeness, and many people are using famous
44:01
people's likenesses. Some content creators and
44:05
celebrities have threatened to sue Sora on the basis of
44:08
defamation. I think legally there might be
44:11
grounds for that, but this is completely foreign territory
44:14
since it's all new and hasn't been figured out yet.
44:17
From the law and content usage rights perspective, and this is
44:20
a huge one with AI, it's just been thrown out there into the
44:25
world and there's no regulations then there's no laws, there's no
44:28
restrictions, and that's really terrifying as far as that where
44:32
it could go from a legal standpoint.
44:35
Elsewhere I saw this program called Descript where you can
44:39
replicate your voice using AII have avoided any and all
44:43
projects where they require you to replicate your voice.
44:47
And I'm concerned as why as to why people would willingly sign
44:51
over their rights to companies to use their voices.
44:55
I mean, there's so many things that could go wrong down the
44:57
line with that. For instance, criminals could
44:59
use your voice to implicate you in crimes you never committed.
45:02
They could do the same with things like SORA, like
45:04
technologies like that. If we have a system where it's
45:07
proven that the owner of the voice has handed over the rights
45:10
to their voice, we could make a argument for voice usage rights.
45:15
And this could also prevent criminals from stealing voices
45:18
to use for nefarious means. Yes, criminals will attempt to
45:22
do so regardless, but I just think it's crazy to willingly
45:27
hand over the rights to your voice.
45:30
Moreover, with this usage of voice replication, it kind of
45:34
furthers my argument about laziness as it pertains to the
45:37
usage of AI. Why not just re record a section
45:41
with your voice? Why do you have to create a
45:43
computer program to do so? Like unless someone has passed
45:47
away like the voice of of Darth Vader for example.
45:50
Like he signed over his rights. James L Jones signed over his
45:53
rights to the voice and that's how they've been able to
45:56
replicate his voice. I think they they used it in the
46:00
Obi Wan series. What you hear of the Darth Vader
46:05
voice in that is entirely a combination of archive voice and
46:09
then AI put together. But the point is his he and his
46:16
estate signed that over and his estate still makes money from
46:21
that. His family will still receive
46:23
royalties for the use of that. It's still scary that the voice
46:25
is being used. He can't control how they use
46:28
it, but at least he has kind of legally like protected himself
46:33
or his state has protected itself kind of you know, and
46:37
there's no culpability I guess because it's been signed over in
46:44
the past. I remember 1 project that I did,
46:46
I got paid. It was weird because normally
46:48
you sign the contract first, you get paid second.
46:51
But I had produced some, some voice overs for some client and
46:57
they paid me and then they got me to sign the contract
47:01
afterwards. And I always read contracts like
47:05
heavily, you know, I go through them.
47:07
I, I'm, I'm very particular about contracts because I want
47:11
to know what I'm signing over. And I'm very well aware that
47:15
with voice acting, you know, I've spoken about it on the
47:18
podcast before. If you look up various episodes
47:22
I've of the podcast, I've spoken about voice acting with
47:27
different people and on my own on this specific topic.
47:32
You've probably heard me speaking about this before, but
47:34
in that particular instance, I read the contract and refused to
47:38
sign on the basis that they wanted to use my voice and
47:41
replicate my voice. I said, I will not sign this
47:44
unless you remove this from the contract.
47:48
And they said that's fine. But when we sign, when we send
47:52
you this new version, we'll, we probably won't be able to use
47:55
your voice. We'll probably have to use
47:56
someone else. And I'm like, fine, but you're
47:57
not going to own my voice. Like that's not happening
48:03
because this is the thing as well.
48:04
Like if you do that, like why do they need you anymore?
48:07
Once they've trained a voice model to a certain level, like
48:11
you're, you're meaningless now and you've just signed over your
48:15
voice for like a couple of grand.
48:17
They're going to make millions with that.
48:20
Do you think you're going to see any of that money?
48:22
Hell no, you're not going to see any of that.
48:26
And that's truly terrifying. Moving on, recently I started
48:33
getting lost in the whole 1984 dystopian world rabbit hole
48:37
thing and I remember seeing the clear comparisons between the
48:41
real world and the book when I was reading the book and then
48:46
also watching the film after the fact.
48:49
But more so with the books. The books, sorry.
48:52
For instance, this cancelling trend that exists in society.
48:58
I mean, it's kind of physically out now, but it's been, it's
49:01
still kind of there. That constant revision of what
49:05
you can and cannot say feels like we're headed towards a
49:08
heavily controlled society. Like more so than we ever have
49:11
been in the past. Like it would be foolish to not
49:14
see how we're already monitored and manipulated as it's been
49:17
happening all of our lives. But now we're tied with
49:20
technology in a way that seems irreversible.
49:22
So it seems like we're beholden to whatever the system decides.
49:26
For example, if people don't agree or actively reject the
49:30
prevailing and agreed upon narrative, they are admonished,
49:33
rejected, a target of ridicule, and so on.
49:37
Humans will never fully agree on everything, and we will always
49:41
clash, but we can find a way to coexist without destroying each
49:46
other. That must be possible.
49:49
As George Orwell famously stated, don't let it happen,
49:54
it's up to you. I truly feel as though the
49:57
responsibility of shaping, molding, and ultimately saving
50:01
our world falls on all of our shoulders and we have to do
50:06
whatever we can to prevent our freedom from being taken away
50:10
from us. So pay attention and don't lose
50:14
sight of what is important. Moving on.
50:16
Leaving toxicity behind. Much like spring cleaning,
50:21
sometimes you got to throw things out.
50:23
Shed your skin like a snake and move on.
50:27
If you never do, you'll crumble under the weight of it all and
50:31
fall victim to the poison. Toxic people and toxic places
50:35
will begin to affect you if you spend too much time around them.
50:40
Like the old saying goes, we are who we choose to spend time
50:43
with. We become our surroundings.
50:46
Therefore, it's important to know when to move on in your
50:50
life and to take a step in the right direction.
50:53
If you don't, you never will, and you risk becoming stuck in a
50:57
vicious pattern. And it's taken me quite a long
51:02
time to realize what I've had to remove from my life.
51:06
But ever since I did, I felt a great weight lifted off of my
51:09
shoulders. And I also feel like I'm back to
51:12
where I need to be. You know what I need to be doing
51:16
who I am. I guess I spent too much time
51:19
trying to connect with people and fit in and and make friends.
51:23
And one thing I've always been really is a lone wolf.
51:27
I've never fit in. I don't think I'm supposed to
51:29
fit in. I think I'm supposed to be an
51:31
outlier. I'm, I'm supposed to be that
51:33
person that's not included. I used to always see that as a
51:37
bad thing, but now I'm starting to see it as a good thing.
51:41
My circle is a lot tighter now. There's only a few people in it.
51:45
And I think that that's important for self preservation,
51:48
for protection. I think that it's something I
51:54
never realized was a problem until recently.
51:56
And of course, like, you know, when you go through really,
51:58
really difficult times, as the old saying goes, like you learn
52:02
who your friends are. But I learned it recently in a
52:04
really brutal way, and I decided to react to that.
52:10
And I just, I just feel better as a result of that, of having
52:14
done that. Like, I feel lighter.
52:16
And I just, I can't see that as a coincidence, you know?
52:19
I feel like that was the right thing to do.
52:21
Moving on, leaving before the main act arrives at a gig.
52:28
This has always been a pet peeve of mine.
52:30
I don't think this is a new phenomenon.
52:32
I've noticed that many shows people will come to see a
52:35
support band and then immediately leave before the
52:38
main act even comes on. I'm confused by this behaviour.
52:42
Like if you don't know the main act, surely be curious that
52:46
you've paid for your ticket, so why not discover some new music?
52:49
And I think the same is true the other way around as well.
52:52
But I was in the queue for Men I Trust and they and there were
52:55
people there to see Liana Flores and she was absolutely
53:00
incredible. I felt like I got to see two
53:03
headliner acts, to be honest, of over the moon.
53:06
But it struck me as odd to see like how many people either
53:09
didn't know who the main act was or who'd never listened to them.
53:12
And even in the run up to the gig, I was thinking like, surely
53:17
you'd want to have an idea of what you're going to be
53:19
listening to. I I checked out the support act,
53:22
I checked out who Liana was and I realized, oh, it's the girl
53:26
who did rises the moon. Awesome.
53:29
But I didn't like deep dive into her music.
53:32
I just went to the show, saw everything that she was doing
53:37
and fell in love with the music, bought the album and then
53:40
realized like, like what she's doing now is even better than
53:44
what she did before. And I became a fan in that in
53:47
that moment, you know, and I guess my point with all of This
53:52
is why wouldn't you keep yourself open to new music?
53:54
You know, you never know what you're going to discover next.
53:57
And part of the beauty of going to live shows is you're always
53:59
going to encounter new artists. There's always going to be a
54:03
support act that you've never heard of.
54:04
It's just something exciting. You know, I love discovering new
54:08
music. I, I, it's, it's just more
54:11
people to listen to. And you go down a rabbit hole
54:14
and you'd start discovering other similar artists.
54:16
I mean, there's so much music out there, you know, it's just
54:21
so much. It's exciting.
54:22
I, I don't know, it's for me it's exciting.
54:24
The final thing I want to talk about is my album, my debut
54:28
album, Second Chances. This month.
54:31
I will have been promoting my music for a year.
54:35
I think we're 10 days away now, or 9 days away from 365 days.
54:41
So that will mark 365 days since the release of my first single,
54:48
Bad Times, which I believe was released on November 20th, 2024.
54:54
And in March, March 28th, I believe I released my album
54:58
Second Chances. Reflecting on the album, I mean,
55:00
I've been lucky enough to have fulfilled a bunch of music goals
55:04
with this project. You know, I, I've performed the
55:07
album in its entirety live, which was incredible.
55:11
I've been paid to play gigs around the country and and I
55:16
recorded and released a behind the scenes documentary for the
55:20
album. I released 3 music videos, a
55:23
cinematic music video, an in studio clip style video and then
55:27
a one shot one take video. And that was really cool because
55:32
I saw a lot of artists do that when I was growing up and I
55:35
always wanted to do these things.
55:36
So to actually get to do it myself was incredible.
55:40
You know, I've managed to reach people all around the world with
55:44
my music, which is crazy. I mean, there's people in
55:47
America, Australia, all around Europe, some parts of Asia, New
55:52
Zealand that I've heard my music.
55:55
That's crazy to me that people have taken the time to check out
55:59
the music. Same with the podcast.
56:01
Everything else I do like, thank you to everyone around the world
56:04
that's that's listened to my music, that's checked out the
56:06
podcast, that's checked out my acting.
56:09
Thanks for all of your support. Mind blowing is the word I would
56:14
use. I think I would have liked to
56:17
have seen the album go further. I'm kind of gutted that it
56:21
didn't. But if this year has taught me
56:24
anything now, Oh my God. It's taught me many many many
56:27
life lessons. But if it's taught me anything,
56:29
it's to appreciate everything you have, no matter how small.
56:34
And I'm grateful to every person who bought my album, who
56:37
streamed it, who shared it with friends, shared it online, and
56:40
everything in between. Thank you so much.
56:43
Thank you for showing interest in my music.
56:45
I don't know what the future holds for me in music.
56:49
I just know that I'm always working on releasing new music
56:54
and keeping things moving forward.
56:57
So that's really everything. Look out next year for new music
57:03
from me in in 2026 you will hear new music from me.
57:07
I'm also working on writing album #2 no idea when I'm going
57:14
to record that, but I'm I'm working on it.
57:16
I'm writing the songs as we speak, so that's pretty cool.
57:21
The podcast will continue. Obviously it'll go into its
57:23
sixth year, so look out for bigger and better podcasts
57:29
moving forward. Always looking for guests.
57:31
So if you have guest suggestions or you'd like to put yourself
57:35
forward for the show, check out the links in the bio or check
57:40
out my website christianreeve.com/links and you
57:43
can find a link to apply for the show there and we can look at
57:48
getting you on the show. Obviously, there's ways to
57:51
support me. If you would like Christian
57:53
reeve.com/links, you can find all the links for different ways
57:58
you can support me, different ways you can find out about my
58:00
latest projects and everything in between.
58:02
You can of course, join the Discord as well.
58:05
And you can subscribe to my Patreon and get yourself access
58:09
to bonus content, even bonus content from the podcast.
58:13
Thank you so much for watching, for listening to the Christian
58:16
Reeve Podcast. And until next time.