Latest / The Vincere Project / Episode 6 - Vets vs. Bums: Dominating Winners
Transcript
- Vincent: All right, let's keep this podcast going. Day to time, step by step, moment by moment, we're gonna keep doing it. It's been a good experience. We started to refine some language. I'll talk about that in a few moments. you know, those are the saplings and little buds that are starting to harvest in terms of changing behavior and psychology and language. it's working and I'll detail some of that. Just give a little update. And great feedback too, right? Like... you know, connecting with the right people, people dropping some supportive lines, like, hey, keep going, love hearing you, you look great. Man, so proud of you, of all the things, right? And I wanna make people proud. Don't ever misunderstand how I see things, right? I wanna be liked, well received, I wanna make people proud, not at the detriment or loss of myself. And I would say that's been the biggest growth point in my lifespan. You know, it's nice though, Steve Spencer was my first NCO in the Army and he had PFC Ruiz, dude. And that dude was a real pain in the butt. All the attributes and qualities required to be a decent soldier, guess, right? I struggle to keep my mouth shut and attitude behavior was... you know, CMJ to show for it, right? And with that being said, he put me aside, I'll never forget this is a great teaching moment, teachable moment, leadership moment. And been in some stuff at that point, like we demonstrated our trustworthiness and credibility ⁓ among team and the people we working with in the element, the greater elements, Platoons, companies, whoever supported him, some pretty significant operations at that time, right? And you can't know that about people, like their courage and how they operate and function, especially when things are. going wild, right? And the guns start going and the bombs are blowing up and the IDs become more real and the enemy forces start staging and massing because we're not going into the city, you know, and they're free to roam and creates a really crazy situation, right? Where things are going to change and you we're planning, we're getting ready to go out to do this OP and a pretty big operation. Like I think it was Battalion Plus, man, and like... significant mission. mean, think think cumulatively between the Italian plus who killed like 250 enemy. Maybe more I'd have to look I don't know but it was a lot of two three days and that though right I was giving him a hard time about the vehicle setup and like hey we need to hook this up put that there I grabbed this you're here you know you're in a vehicle you're working as a team right you're in a platform you're you got ⁓ a serve machine gun on the top of it out of the Humvee and He's pulls me aside, know, I'm getting pissed. He's getting pissed, pulls me aside. like, Vince, he's like, know, he's like, if you would just shut up and listen, you could actually be really, really good at this. And it was like a light bulb moment. And not that I completely got the message at that point from Steve, but I mean, it just sat with me for a while. And I stewed and steamed and huffed and puffed and whatever it was. But I recall quite a bit. And I think about that moment is that he loved me enough to be a jerk. That's what it is. Much like parents with children, non-commissioned officers, commission officers with their subordinates. That's what it is. I don't believe in that whole like, galitarian, like flat, like, hey, we're all part of this. No, that's how you disseminate information. That's not how you make decisions. Those are two very different things, right? And I think that's something. But I'm sidetracking a little bit. But I think in that process for me, I've always kind of learned since then, which has been over 20 years, 22 years, Maybe like five, six, seven years after that, when I become staff sergeant, like I started to realize that like exhausting empathy is part of the leadership thing. Wasn't particularly good at it at that point, my late 20s, early 30s, right? And I would say I still struggle with that at times. Yet I would say as a person, I try to exhaust my exhaustion, exhaust my empathy, excuse me. I want to exhaust my empathy towards other people, places, and things before I get to that place of judgment. discontent, right? Right, can start because I can become resentful. That's like my version of anger. I'm not quite a ruminator. I won't think about it, but I'll get vengeful to I'll vengeful in a way where I'll think and cast out like 10 2030 years out like there are there are definitely onesy twosy people on the face of earth that like when check the obituaries looking for them. Someday their name will be in there and you know, won't be sad. Like that's how personal things can get. The greater majority of folks, you know, I'm never getting into a stranger that takes my parking spot or somebody that eye rolls or cuts me in line. That's not it. I'm about those deep seeded, like personal relationships that were alienated, exploited, coerced, persuaded, is something downright criminal happened and was no ramifications or for that particular person. ⁓ No, I'm that. I'm totally petty. So I don't know. all over the place a little bit to start me, but I miss, I miss you Spencer. And that's what the podcast is born a little bit is keeping those conversations and communication going. let's circle back real quick, right? The vets and the bums, right? That is what's been harvested so far out of the podcast. Cause I shared with many people, it's a digital footprint. It's a way to disseminate information, represent HR, HR counseling, and share the good work that we're doing. And for me on a personal level, I'm demonstrating how to modify language, right? And kind of cut out profanity. And for me that is, it's not an easy thing. I still struggle with it at times. Kind of working on thing teasing and I'm starting to refer to people as vets bums, right? It could be anything. It doesn't have to be like a military thing, right? It could be anybody that's good or competent or skilled. That's a vet, right? They may have been only doing it for one year, right? They're the best at the thing. That's vet, right? And then there's somebody that could be categorized as a bum, right? Now what happens if it's the person happens to be like a veteran, right? Yet they're a vet. They qualify as that. They're a bum. I think they're more bum than vet. in a negative way, right? Like it's like, oh, they were great in the military, then post-service, not so hot. Yeah, I don't know. That's not impressive to me. That's my stuff. Yet I think that's kind of it is that like we kind of augment and we start to spin language and we manipulate the semantics of it and we play with it, label it and we slap it on things and we take it off. And I think vet versus bum is just a good way. It's a comment. That's a vet, man. Those are the vets, right? A is good, right? They always say, it's a bunch of vets. And sometimes they are, they're actually older players that have been there longer in definition. Yet I would say like there are people that are new to a thing, sport or business, and they can present as a vet, play like a vet. I don't know. And just because somebody's been there a length of time or a long period of time, it demonstrates endurance. means they have some sort of knowledge of the particular thing. They might be competent. It doesn't mean that they're going to be the best at the particular thing, right? That's driven by like innovation pushing things forward and breaking and pressing out boundaries. That's a vet behavior. reserve the right to do that. Bums have to be told to do, when to do it, how to do it all the time. Right? And I think that's kind of a difference. Or maybe it's somebody that performs below what their standard of performance or behavior is. That's a bum. So like for me to adopt and bring in and start just having a profanity-laced podcast, that would be bum behavior. Right? Hey, having to slip up once in a while and having to pay the 225 bucks, That's a veteran behavior, it increases credibility, it opens line of communication with other people, keeps the story going. I think that's the version Steve Spencer was referencing when I was young, 21, guess, 22, 21, whatever it was, right? You know, he's looking through the lens of like, what a vet, like a professional, a competent soldier would look like somebody that's capable. You know, and I think that's kind of part of it too, is oversimplification is in day to day, we just have to be encouraged and supportive of people to that behavior that's more consistent with whatever a vet might be. You for me, it's when I reference somebody, like, that guy's a vet. That's the guy's solid, that's a vet. Maybe it's the good dude thing, like, that's a good dude. That's a bad dude. It's a good dude versus a bad dude. Maybe I'm oversimplifying it. I like the idea of the vet though. And maybe the tri-state that's kind of how things are here in some ways, culturally or subculturally. It's like, hey, it's a friend of mine or it's a friend of ours, right? You know, because every little subculture has that in this part of the country, but every part of the world kind of has that in their own little way. He's a friend of mine. He's a friend of ours, right? Like one way or the other, right? We got to be able to categorize or separate how people need to be treated along the way. It can't be just recklessly disrespecting or treating people any particular way. Um, cause that happens too, right? There's people, look, we live in a civil society. Like folks think you're allowed to be rude. Like social media reminds us of that. Or here, this thing, the idiot box reminds us of that. I can be rude. Disrespectful. Unkind, mean, cruel. And there's people that think they can do that. There's people that come from left in their skin to say whatever they think they want to say. be disrespectful with that stuff. Those are ramifications, repercussions. I'm never doing anything about it, right? Why would I get into somebody that thinks that? It's just you catalog the information, make a note of it. And in many cases, people don't actually mean what they say. You know, they're not looking to offend anybody or hurt anybody. They get out of line, right? But it's bum behavior. Period. The end. It's bum behavior. You're a bum. That's a bum. Oh, but he's so wealthy. That's a bum. His behavior isn't consistent with what's expected of a vet. Oh, he's so fit, though. No, he's a bum. Ah, yes, so many followers on InstaFace. It's InstaFace. That's a bum. You know, so I think about those things. I think about those things quite a bit, right? Like we want to be categorized as competent. We want to be well received. We want to be recognized, have a sense of achievement, have peace of mind, right? Like how are we sure? Peace of mind is mental health. Mental health is peace of mind. They are equals, not more than or less than. They are compatible because you can have good mental health and peace of mind in a war zone. You can have a peace of mind going into a stressful business deal. You can have peace of mind having a stressful exam. You can have peace of mind going into a wedding day. You can have peace of mind somebody's getting ready to die. Right? And doesn't mean you're not going to have a range of feelings. You reserve the right to have all the feelings that come with that stuff. I'm going am I going to deal with a vet or am going to be a bum? Because if the people that believe in us or they're committed to us that see us as being larger than life and being able to accomplish things and do things and They want to see us push and press the issue. We want to represent them well. And maybe it's not, maybe this is me, my play on language, the vet versus the bump thing. I think, you you want to be around people that are willing to push themselves to get the repetitions and get the iterations and have the opportunities to grow into that veteran version of themselves. And it requires the exhaustion of empathy, much like raising children, developing and leading people in different capacities, ways, shapes or forms. I would say, you know, what's fun for me is getting a platform or maybe cultivating and creating a platform. That's maybe what we're doing here. Right. I, hour myself and Brooke, right. Or Stockton graduates, Stockton university graduates, right. She got her master's in social work there. I'm a doctor in education. Right. And, we host HR host a free continuing education training at one of their satellite campuses. And I, a courtesy, reach out to doctor whoever and doctor whoever and doctor whoever or other deans and directors like, we're doing a free CEU. to have you there, send your students or whatever. But no response. They don't reply to the email or anything, right? And I'm so used to that. Years ago when I started H-Hour, I had a year where I sent 1,687 messages, DMs and emails throughout the year. I think I maybe got like 35 replies. What's crazy out of that 35, I have three clients, one corporate, two on the coaching counseling side, and they're like forever clients at this point. So I think if your bandwidth or threshold and ability to become the vet, right, go through the reps and iterations and the cold shoulders and the rejections and the denials, you avert having to default thinking like a bum because you're so occupied with thinking about. how to win and working on winning, you have zero choice to think about losing. You have zero time to think about what the bums are doing. So in this case, those folks that's talking to me, which I don't know if they're bums or not, they might be. I think not to reply to the emails, bum behavior. Hey, I'll forward it. I'll let people know, no interest, right? the irony is that I teach at Kean University. So I circulated to them and they have no interest either, which is ironic. Like the crazy thing. But the students, which is beautiful in all this, see the difference. They're around another professors and they see what is happening. So they're like, hey, like, I think I'm going to attend that CEU. Right. I think, I think, I think Dr. Ruiz and Brooke are going to offer something that's more consistent with vet behavior, right. Competencies and skills, as opposed to bum behavior. ⁓ here's the worst part. I think this is the part that infuriates people because people won't do this. This is the brazen nature of who I am. We it away for free. It's free. There's no cost. Time, attention, those are precious commodities in my opinion. There's no transaction you have to pay. You're gonna get fed. We buy a salad house, which is delicious. There's a plug for them. Maybe I should sell them some airtime. They do great stuff. Give it free. It's vet behavior. Veterans are able to just do things. Be benevolent. Come and go as they please. Manage our resources. You know, I saw an article the other day. It's insulting. It's actually the most insulting stuff ever. R.W.J. Barnabas made a donation of a million dollars to combat, combat, whatever that is, homelessness in Ocean County. Number one is we don't need a shelter in Ocean County. Number two, I was homeless. I don't want those people around because I know what I was like when I was like that. I don't want those people around my family. I don't my extended family. I don't want my business. don't want my community, right? Because the reality is people out on the street and I don't have the data in front of me. I would say it's like 90 % of the folks that are dealing with homelessness struggle with drugs and alcohol and or mental illness. So if you don't want to stop using drugs or stop getting high or stop drinking, right? Then you get the reserved right to be homeless. It's just not where I live. I don't want you here. There's plenty of places for you to go wrong. You have the right to be homeless wherever you choose to be. versus bum, vet versus bum. ⁓ you have the folks that are bleeding heart liberals that'll say things like, but know, we need to, should. And yeah, I think there's a social safety net that's required. 100%. I the world needs that. We all need some help at times. I would just submit to you that it's very difficult to live a life when you're depending on the kindness of strangers. It's impossibly successful when you're dependent on the kindness of strangers. And that's my experience. That's bum behavior. Depending on the kindness of strangers is bum behavior. Carving out your own way, right? Selling water bottles instead of pen handling. Maybe do a dance. rake some leaves. Maybe get a job. Maybe be employed. Maybe start a service or a product. ⁓ People problem solve. We live in a world where you can go on OnlyFans, you can show your butthole, right, and charge $7.99 a month, yet people still play victim and become a property of the state. Like, don't agree with what OnlyFans does in any way, shape, form, yet that's the rules and the law we have. It's degeneracy. However, if need money or income, people will pay people to look at your feet. Like, that's the world we live in. Like pride is what's going to keep people poor. Pride is what supports bum behavior. They don't ask for help. The irony in the story here is when my coaching clients are some incredibly successful people, they are all experts at asking for help. Experts. so for me, I model and mimic exactly that behavior because I want to be a vet. I want to be considered that category. I don't want to be the person that's on the cover of the paper that did $11 billion in my company. And then we make a $1 million donation to stay to start off homeless. This they increase their revenue from 2024 to 2025, $1.5 billion. They have a $700 million in operating revenue. That's their money, 700 million. And they donated a million. And it's crazy as though all the likey hearty shares go up yourselves on it. this is so wonderful. This is so kind. No, your healthcare system is as perfected stealing to include your insurance companies. I'm complicit. Aren't we except insurance? They've learned that they figured out how to steal. What's what they do? ⁓ complacent in it, right? Like this is the game we're playing, right? So that's pride for you, though. That's that's ego, right? overcoming those things and figuring out like, hey, how do I want to play with this game? Do I want to play the game? Do I understand the rules, the players and what's expected? What actions are capable or not? So I don't know, it's a little bit of a rant and tangent, but I think those are vet versus bum behaviors, right? I think I think a veteran can be a bum. There's plenty of those 1000, I'm calling them all out to like, especially the fat ones. Like, yeah, dude, you're pathetic. Absolutely pathetic, because you know better, because you know better. The differences in our civilian community and population, the folks that let themselves go or don't maintain or manage their well-being or health, they don't realize that when somebody falls in the water, somebody has to be able to physically pull them out of the water. And if you live on water, in any way, shape, or form or near water, and you can't pull your neighbor out of the water, you're a liability. For me, I would assure you, I don't feel like most of my neighbors could pull me out of the water. I don't think I listen to this, nor do I give a crap either way because it's irresponsible. I can pull them out. Right. And then the person that has the physical power, the resources, capacity and capability reserves the right to change their mind. Hey, do I want to be helpful? Do I not want to be helpful? Do I want to be benevolent? Do I not want to be? No. Do I want to be supportive? Do I not want to be supportive? drives bums crazy because bums take on the victimhood mentality. ⁓ poor me. ⁓ why me? ⁓ never going to overcome this or get through this or work through this. Yeah, total nonsense, man. Total nonsense. I have a buddy man and Tosh. He's so good Tosh. injects these things. They're they're sage. They're bright. He copies and pastries money. He tinkers with them, makes them better, recycles them, gives them to the world, gets feedback. He says this thing and it's very explicit, right? Is that like, and not his right, but he uses it well and don't move the goalpost. I mean, if you set a goal or an objective or a purpose or something you'd like to achieve or do right and it's off on the horizon, right? Like Be okay with that's where it is and it's going to be a whole bunch of steps and twists and turns and it's rarely going to be a straight line to get to that point, right? That you get in the end zone or get near the goalpost. And I think that is kind of what happens here. folks assume that the race has been won, right? Once it starts. And I would assure you is that there ⁓ there are people that are born into wealth and the inherent capital from their family and they mess that all up, right? They are the idiot sons. You're gonna see more of that in the next 20 years. The boomer generation as they move on and get to the next chapter of his life, their idiot sons and daughters are gonna inherit, what was it? A few hundred trillion dollars is gonna get passed around, right? And then next thing you know, right? They're not gonna be able to manage or know what to do with the money. Some will, some won't. But what does that mean for folks in the middle? That means it's gonna be wonderful opportunities, right? Yet it's gonna require learning how to measure and assess what risk is versus what it isn't. And in the world we live in at this point, there's ample opportunities. You know, I share the opportunity where, look, you have the internet to use as a tool. I got a buddy that he makes a ton of money selling key chain clitorises. That's what he sells. Huge hit in the LGBT community. He's not LGBT. This is the world we live in, right? And America is still for sale, right? So the question would become, I think that Kanye thing is like, I want to buy the whole world. What's for sale? Like who's stopping you? Who says you can't? All right. And I think those are kind of fun things to think about and ponder and imagination. The vet has a mindset that's like, all right, like that's a lot of steps. a really, that's far out goalpost. That goalpost is way out there. Let me start coming up with. tool strategies tactics to figure out how to achieve that particular goal and then stay. But that's it all over the place today just hitting some things. ⁓ Jamie's got all these goals and intentions for me. She was like, ⁓ we should three part series. Hey, can you pre record like 17 episodes and then send them over to me? I'm going on vacation for six more weeks. That's cool. I love that she goes on vacation all the time. Happy for her. Probably not gonna pre record 16 episodes though. That's probably not gonna happen. But I do think there's like a two or three part series with some stuff we could do that. I think that would make sense. think that'd be fun and good for the brand. don't know. What do I think? Vets or bums? I got to refine it play with it, keep growing. Yeah, I like it though. It's a default. Instead of deferring to like a DC or P or profanity or F and whatever and something, it's just a guy that's a That guy's a vet. That's a vet. Hey, that's vet behavior. That's bum behavior. I don't know. Yeah, as opposed to saying winner versus loser, I think winner and loser are a little like... much for some people, though I believe that matters, right? I think beating the losers is fun. think dominating the winners is better. And you know, how do you dominate the winners? Well, you got to make it to the playoffs. That's what the winners are. And you can make it to the chip, right? In Final Four, you got to win the championship. That's where they are. You dominate the winners. Like, who cares about beating the losers? That's the first preseason game. Like, you don't even know who's who or what's what, right? You don't have to run the table. There's going to be highs and lows in life, businesses like that. But it's a long, long game. Hey, maybe I'm not particularly good at this thing right now, but I'm willing. to make the adaptations and start learning the things required, change the behaviors, change the mindset and start applying myself in a way that I can start to ward off and shed some of the bum behaviors. And then I have no option to go back to like what I shared about the 1,687 calls to stay on that. Because that's optimistic, it's hopeful, it's promoting, it's for the future. Man, and then three years later, boom, we're here. So you know you can always go back to making 1,600 calls. If I look back on it, I would have done it in a quicker timeline. I wouldn't have scattered it throughout the year. That would be the only feedback I would get. if you're about starting a business going on, I would just do it all the time, every time, just accept that you're not going to get a ton of responses. And the ones that you do to get to believe all in, then you have to over-deliver because what they're going to pay you to do is the minimum. Everything you do beyond the minimum, that's an investment into your future self. Maybe that's the message today. Vets think future self. Bums, they're in their feelings in the moment. I don't like, I can't, Trump is bad, whatever. I hate Dr. Vince, whatever it is, right? But the vets, see the vision, they understand where they're going, they've shed their sight, they see them pushing themselves off into that future, and the future is bright, in my opinion. So, enjoy.