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The First 30 Days: What You Will Experience Using This 12-Minute a Day Technique · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:00
  Kelly Hatfield: Welcome to The Missing Secret Podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield,
• 0:04
  John Mitchell: Hey, and I'm John Mitchell. So today, our topic is the first 30 days, what you will experience using this 12 minute a day technique. So, Kelly, do you remember your first 30 days?
• 0:18
  Kelly Hatfield: You know, it's been so long, I remember feeling relief. And like, you know, we talk about the mind thriving on ordering, I remember feeling less stressed, for sure. And I remember that because I remember that not being an expectation of mine, and going, oh my gosh, you know, just because we've done the work for the clarity, and now I'm writing it and everything. And so I remember that about the first 30 days. And then, of course, anytime I implement something new, you know, I can give some feedback as to as far as that's concerned, but the first 30 days, what I remember, again, with it being so long ago, is how pleasantly surprised I was at just how my mind was working better and how I was less stressed.
• 1:05
  John Mitchell: Wow, that's interesting. Well, you know, here's what you know. With this past Friday, we had the 2% mastermind meeting, which is, you know, once a quarter meeting, or typically, the last week of the quarter to help people tweak up their visualization. And I see that there's basically three phases that people go, go through. The first, oh, I don't know, 1015, days is just establishing the habit. That's it. Just, you know, this only works if you do it every single day, consecutively, and so you got to extend, establish that, that habit. And that'll take, you know, maybe two weeks. And you know, you might, you might fall off the horse. Well, okay, you just get back on the horse. That that happens, but that's the first phase is, is just create that habit, because nothing happens if you don't create the habit. Then the second phase, and then again, this is probably 15 days in, you start embracing doing what you say you're going to do. Now this methodology is all foundationally based on doing what you say you're going to do, but I wouldn't worry about all that for the first 10 days. Measure establishing the habit. Just, you know, get that habit established. But then, now in that second phase, once a habit is established, then then you got to make yourself and tell yourself, okay, I'm reading this every day. I do what I say I'm going to do I'm saying I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, things like, you know, deep thinking two times a week, that type of thing. By God, I got to do it now. And so then you get focused on doing the stuff as a second phase. And then the third phase hits around the 21 day mark, where, you know, all of a sudden, one day, it's like a light goes on and the right actions are happening automatically. You're like, wow, I read that this morning, and boom, this afternoon, I'm doing it. It happened automatically. That's never happened before. And you know, then I think in the 30 to 60 day time frame, you start experiencing guilt, and because you know the statistics say that most people do what they say they're going to do about 40% of the time. But when you start reading it every day, what you're committing to, and you start seeing the things that you say you're going to do, but you're not doing, guilt will come in, and that's actually a good thing. And that guilt, I found, only lasts about 30 days, because you get tired of the guilt. It's just easier to do the stuff, right? But that's that's an overview. What's your thoughts on all that?
• 4:02
  Kelly Hatfield: No, I think it's so true. And I think you know that the other thing that I recognize about your final point, which is that doing what you say you're going to do, and the guilt associated with that one nuance that I saw happen more so more closer to that 60 day mark, was able to be keeping my commitments and promises to myself, you know, through things that I was confirming in my visualization, right? But the other thing that happened was that I started because I was so focused and hyper aware of keeping my word to myself that I started being very careful about what I committed to doing, yeah, what I because I think you'll find too. How might you recognize that? Oh, like I'm either over committing I'm over scheduling myself, and you start to recognize those things too, and that the things that you're doing that aren't in alignment with what moves the needle, which is part of. Your you know, your methodology, and, oh my gosh, you know, I'm out of alignment. I'm saying I'm going to do these things, and I'm not so then that you become much more careful and intentional about your organization system, how you're planning and organizing your day, like now, everything is kind of also moving through that filter, and that's part of the magic of what you see happening in that first 60 days that that was one of those nuances related to keeping your word that I I had not expected how conscious I became around my time
• 5:35
  John Mitchell: The words that are coming out of your mouth, yes, right,
• 5:39
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. So that was the real again, I didn't know what to expect when I started the methodology, but that was, there were so many things I was pleasantly surprised and like, Whoa, yeah, that, you know, I was not expecting that that have come as a result of using this methodology. But that's another one in those first, you know, 60 to 90 days where I was like, Oh, I had a light come on that was like, oh, there's a correlation here between your word and being in alignment on these other things that I've committed to. So anyway, right?
• 6:14
  John Mitchell: You know, and I think that that also illuminates the idea that it's fine to go in your visualization and eliminate some stuff, you know? I mean, it's all built on doing what you say you're going to do, and if, for whatever reason, you want to reduce what you say you're going to do, that's fine, you know? I, I'm, I'm more interested in building up that muscle and that that integrity to do. Always do what you say you're going to do 100% of the time than I am having 50 things. I'd rather you have 30 things that you really do 100% of the time than 50 things you do, you know, 50% of the time. And so that's another phase of it. You know, another thing that came up, and I don't know if you had problems with this, but some people had just brought up the issue of not their words. You know, the way it works with the algorithm is some of the stuff on people's template is their words, and some of it is my words. And of course, you know, we had to start somewhere, and that was the way we did it. Did you ever have trouble with all the word stop being your words? Yeah.
• 7:31
  Kelly Hatfield: I mean absolutely. And I think that, you know, what was interesting is I noticed that when you're reading it, and I use the term sticky, and it feels sticky like you You know, I would read mine out loud, you know, I record me reading it. And any place within the visualization, you know, within this methodology, where I was like, that doesn't feel like me. I feel like there is a lack of, you know, either alignment or I wouldn't say it that way, and my brain is recognizing it. Then you change it so that it, yeah, you know, it's in your voice, and it's the way you would see something like I remember in the first iteration, and I don't know whether it's on the algorithm, when it talks about like your romantic partner, you know, never say that race that would something how I would say it, or I wouldn't use the word blessed. That's not like part of my vernacular, you know. So you have to just make it, you know, because this is your brain. Your brain is taking this information in, and when you feel pushback on that, you know, that's just a couple of signs that is. So one of them is either just the wording, where it's not worded in a word, in a voice that you would say, and the other thing too, that I recognized as I've moved through this process over the course of the last several years is when I'm not deeply connected to something, and like my why isn't deep enough on Something? There is more resistance to this methodology working. So if I like, I'm doing something because I think this is what I should be doing. I'm not really connected to it, and it's not really something that I want to do, or isn't really but I as like, I'll liken it to something in my business, you know, or something where I'm like, Yeah, but that's not how I want to spend my time, but I know maybe that would be beneficial if I spent my time in my business, doing that, right? There's this divide there, you know, or I'm doing something because I think that that's that is where to I've had the most resistance to that, sticking in my visualization, where I'm able to assimilate, and, you know, in my subconscious will take that in, and you know, I'm not having success in that area, and that also, too, is where I'm like, Okay, let me examine this. Why am I not making the Pro? Is it the way it's worded? Am I really connected to this? Why? And so investigating that a little bit further, because. There's been several things that I've just been like this doesn't resonate with me, right? Why is it like? So I think, you know, paying attention to some of those cues, and then kind of going through, asking yourself those questions to determine a is a little strike of your like you're, you know, you're striking it off your visualization, or is it the way it's worded, or, you know what I mean?
• 10:23
  John Mitchell: Right, right? No, I think that's that's right. And I think that when you look at the big picture of this, you know, we're creating the succinct articulation of your desired life, but we have to start somewhere, and people don't really generally understand in detail the clarity that's needed in each area of their life. And so that's what the template and My words are are providing. But as quickly as possible, like you said at the start, you just have to change the words to your words. I mean easy, breezy, just and you know, I see that, that how I put it in the template, you know, it gives you the word and sentence structure, and it just gives you a pretty good feel of how this thing should, should flow, but it's on you to make it your own. And so I think that's a key thing to appreciate and understand, I think it's good for people to understand, you're going to run into that just, it's not a big deal. Just change it as you see. A better way to say it, that that resonates more with you. Don't worry about batted too much.
• 11:34
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think keeping that structure one thing I do want to say, I mean, there's a reason why the template is the way that it is, you know. So when you do change things, making sure that that structure is still there, of the way. So like, if you're replacing it, you're replacing a word, or you're replacing how those sentences is organized, but that all of the key components of that are still there, and then also, too, that you're making sure you're using, you know, like you're not doing kind of that double negative that you're, you know what I mean, that you're feeding right? But so I do want to warn against that too, like, don't try to get super concise, because that was my inclination, was to do that. But to your point, part of, kind of what, where I hit my ceiling, and I'll never forget this when we first started working together, and you keep, kept kicking it back to me, saying, No, try again. It's not, you know, it's not nuanced enough. It needs to be more specific. I still don't understand what you're trying to achieve here. I, I thought I did until, and I got frustrated, you know, with that process too, where I was like, What are you talking about? Like, this is, this is what's going on in my mind. Like this is indeed, because in relatively it was based on how shallow I had been thinking it was definitely an improvement. You know what I mean, but it wasn't as deep as I needed to go. And so, you know that is the power of two, having the template, and I would hope that you would be changing a lot of the words eventually to it and everything, making it totally feel like, Oh, this is my life. This is the blueprint. And the, you know, I'm the architect that is, you know, kind of the the wing you should be going into this. But I will say that was so valuable. The template is so valuable. And then, of course, you know, going through that process of finding clarity, and you know, is another key piece of it. But I, you know, be careful about trying to, you know, I think people's natural inclination might be to, you know, run it through chat, GPT to make it become more concise, or, oh, god no, like, don't do stuff like this to that template. It's written, it's, it's the way it is, for a reason. Just change, right, so that you connect with it, right?
• 13:53
  John Mitchell: You know, that's a great point, because there's so many things that are in that template, that are, you know, have been crafted over the the years. So, I mean, just as an example, in the career section, you know, there's, there's four or, I mean, sorry, there's six sections. You know, your your business plan, your strategy for success, the three things that move the needle, the Where do you want the business to be three years from now? The milestones to get there, the last pin issue, you know, don't change that stuff there. That's powerful stuff to be feeding yourself. And then in your romantic relationship, you know, tuning into your partner's love language, you know, the just those, those type of things. So that's a great point. And, you know, here's something else that's that, that I had forgotten about that I see is true. You're also feeding yourself some new con concepts, hopefully enlightened concepts. As an example, I talk about in the template, how everybody, and I'm talking really about talking about other people, and how you. Deal with other people. Everybody is a function of their genetics coupled with what has come into their consciousness to this point in life. Well, you know, I, I wouldn't that deep in my 30s and 40s to get that. I didn't understand that. And then they also and and really, this happened not that long ago, I understand, stood before this profile personality types. So you know, then I'm I'm like, Okay, I'm getting way more enlightened about other people, because at the end of the day, other people are going to frustrate you, and you better get your ag together and how you intellectually look at other people. So largely, this can be a new concept for people. And you know that they go, Well, I don't know that this is a concept I'm used to. Well, get used to it, you know? I mean, it's, if you feel like it's an enlightened idea, more enlightened than have you been operating in the past? Just embrace it, you know. But, but no, there are, you know. I mean, I have, I see that template reflects the maturity of someone my age. And so I'm like, I so wish I had the maturity when I was younger that I have today. Now, of course, my friends may say he's not probably that mature, but wisdom, yes, yes, yes, that's probably better wise. But you know what I'm saying is I just see how is, as my life has evolved, I've gotten way more enlightened and have a deeper understanding of of life and how it works. And so I think that's the power of this, and that's why you have to, if you're embracing this methodology, realize it's, it's created from someone that's been on the planet a long time and and hopefully has an enlightened point of view. And some of the concepts may be sort of new to you, but they're succinctly articulated in the in the template, and it'd be a good idea to to embrace them. And so does that make sense?
• 17:29
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh, yeah, no, absolutely. Being able to have that, you know, the wisdom, and like we've talked about before, in the it's 20 years of how you have continued to iterate and, you know, take in the, you know, make the different tweaks to it based on some of the different experts that you're hearing from. Like, over time, this thing has become more and more value, valuable as you've tested and, you know, taken this thing through through trials and as you have gleaned more insight, you know, experience and gotten the wisdom of other people in this space psychologists, you know, like it's just become more and more valuable as a result of, you know, that time and where you're at in your life. And so if people can embrace that, versus you know, a lot of the time. I think that, you know, especially you see it, you know, in in maybe younger people is like, well, he doesn't know what I'm dealing with. You know what anyone it's like, yeah, you know, okay,
• 18:34
  John Mitchell: Right?
• 18:35
  Kelly Hatfield: Actually, you know, I've been around the block of times. I know what
• 18:38
  John Mitchell: I went through that eight times. What do you mean?
• 18:40
  Kelly Hatfield: Exactly, totally. Yeah,
• 18:42
  John Mitchell: I tell you, you know, you, you opened my eyes to something that that I was totally blinded to last time, yet, the concept of meeting people where they are, but I here's what I see. I see that's a double edged sword, but fundamentally that is, is very true that when people come into my life and and start doing this methodology or inquiring about it from my standpoint, again, we all have this natural tendency to look at things from our point of view. I mean, in my visualization, I have to make myself aware of that and not do it, but it's our natural tendency, and so because my subconscious mind is so finely tuned and has completely, well, not completely, but has largely overrided being wired for survival, well, I'm Not fear based at all. I'm not reactive at all. I'm not adverse to change. But the people that are looking at it, this is the first time they're all those things, because they don't have the benefit of having done it this methodology for a long time. They're on the front end of the process. And you. I see that it's valuable for me to just like you said, meet them where they're at. And so that's good. But here's the other end of that. I think that there are many times in my life where I needed to say to myself, John, just man out. Stop it. Stop whining that. Yeah, I don't want to do this. I don't want Shut up. Man up and do it, you know, and you know, I think that that's part of I don't know my persona is to make people man up. I mean, who's going to be that force in their life to push them to man up. There's probably not a lot of people in people's lives that forces them. So I want to maybe be that, that inner voice in their head that says, Come on, man up or woman up. This my residence to doing this is my adversity to change, or it's my being fear based. And, you know, like we were talking about before we came on the air. I did this thing with my class this past week. I showed him a Simon Sinek video where he talks about people fall in one of two camps. They're either focused on what they want or they're focused on the obstacles to getting what they want. And so of course, we're at the stage in my class where my my entire class is now. Now they've learned the methodology, and they have their templates, and now they're Manning up or womaning up to to start reading it every day and creating the habit. But so we watched that video, and I saw the video, and I go, so, okay, who, by their nature, focuses on the problems? Well, about a third of the hands go up and I'm like, Okay, well, I guess that's human nature. A third of the people are are focusing on the problems. Now keep in mind, from my standpoint, I never focus on the problems. I mean, I I acknowledge the problems, but I damn sure don't focus on them. I'm all about getting what I want. And so I'm like, okay, so I guess the third of the population is that way, not me, but that's how how they are. And then that night, I'm like, I'm just gonna ask chat GPT, because I've gotten the habit now, because I have chat GP on my phone and I have the paid version, I go, I Chad, so I understand that there's two types of people. Some of them focus on on what they want. Some of them focus on the obstacles. So more or less, what's the percentage? And chat, GPT comes back and says, it's 70% 70% of the people are focused on the problems. And I'm like, Well, how did you get that number? And it says this based on on various psychological studies. And I thought, wow, that is so interesting, that 70% of the population, when you show them something that they can get, are going to be focused on the problems. I'm like, Whoa, that's a lousy way to live. Now, I'm not wired that way. You're not wired that way even before this methodology, right? But, and then I asked, chat B, chat G, P, T, I said, so it would seem to me that if someone wanted to be successful, it would be valuable to override that innate tendency. If you have that to focus on the problems, it says absolutely, it's, it's hard to be successful if you're, if you're real, focus is on the problems. And so I just found that whole experience with chat GPT incredibly interesting. And I'm going to show the class tomorrow. I'm going to pull out my phone and go through what I just said minute ago. But that is amazing to me, and it I know you're doing some important things with your business that has changed and and you're seeing some of this right now, aren't you?
• 24:19
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. And I think too, you know, it's funny you say, you know, chat, GPT says 70% I'm surprised. It's actually not higher than that, for the very reason that we talk about that our brains are wired, right for fear. You know, I'm not surprised by that 70% number that people focus on the on the problem, which you could consider to be negative, you know, right? And so that doesn't surprise me at all, but absolutely, you know, I think that this is the way to, and we talked a little bit about this where, you know, I think that when you're focused on the problem, and that's all of your, you know, like. Your emotions, your your feelings, your thoughts, all of those things that are focused on the problem and kind of create this negative stew, you know what I mean, you know, sitting in instead of, you know, focusing on the solution to whatever the So, even through, through these changes that we're making, you know, in the business, you know, I mentioned that we are, you know, there's something where we're changing with our business model, you know, in our asking some of these team members who've been with us for a long time to come up, you know, to obviously adopt this new way that we're going to go about doing what we're doing within our business. And, you know, getting a little pushback, you know, I mean, hasn't the fear associated with that change, you know, but recognizing it and be able to being able to move through it. And, you know, we talked about this before we, you know, jumped on and started recording. I will think about problems like, I'll decide something I'm going to do, and then, as part of my strategy, you know, I will be okay, you know. So, what are some things that could come up on my path to achieve this right? And then how am I going to show up? Or what are some of the potential solutions to those problems as we move through this, you know? Or recognizing that, yeah, you know, I'm going to get this, and it's probably not going to be a straight line to get it, you know. I'm probably going to have to course correct and everything, which means that some obstacles came up along the way. Hello, that's called, you know what I mean, right, right? But it's interesting to your point at how many people you know are focused on that. But at the same time, it doesn't surprise me, because of the world that we live in and how we're so wired for fear and survival, right?
• 26:39
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I tell you, it amazes me how easy it is to manipulate the subconscious mind. And the significance of that is, if your daily actions determine your success, and 95% of them are unconscious, then obviously your subconscious mind rules your life. But you know, the beautiful thing is that conscious mind is setting your intentions and is using logic to do that. The reason the subconscious mind is so easy to manipulate is because it doesn't have logic. Therefore the subconscious mind is just so the obedient servant of the conscious mind, and it's not sitting there arguing what it's being told to do, which would be required if it if it had logic, it just does what it's told to do. And so that repetition is why it makes the subconscious mind so easy to manipulate. And you I see that when you when you manipulate your subconscious mind, you can create your way of thinking so profoundly powerfully that it changes how you act and how you feel about yourself. So it's pretty amazing.
• 27:54
  Kelly Hatfield: It is amazing. Such an amazing process. And I think to, you know, when we think about subconscious, you know so much of that is formed. You know between you know they're talking now, even in utero, you know to seven years old, that there's that window like, so your subconscious, like you don't even know to the degree that you that your subconscious has been influenced. And so when you're talking earlier and you're saying, you know, meet people where the where we're talking about meeting people where they're at, and how frustrated you get. You know that that can be sometimes is, you know, I would ask you, you know that if you are not satisfied with where you're at in life, you know if you're you're frustrated, you know if you are unhappy, if you feel like you are just hitting your head against the wall, you know. And you know, maybe you're doing things the same way, hoping that things will get better, but they don't. And like, this is all part of that subconscious, you know, programming that is happening that you may not even be aware of. It's not like it's out, you know, necessarily, it's a voice that you're hearing in your head. It literally is, you know, programming that's happening underneath the obviously, you know, sub being underneath a level of consciousness, right? Not aware of it. And so I think if you're experiencing those things in your life where you're like, Man, I'm unhappy, or, god, everything's so hard. Why is everything so hard? Why is then? This is the, the perfect example that we're giving of how to program that subconscious to work for you, you know, rather than against you, like it is right now. And so I think it's just people, why I say meeting people where they're at too understanding, everybody's got that, you know, to the degree which, like, are you in enough pain, you know, where you can recognize, like, this isn't working for me, yeah, you know. And then be ready to kind of do the work to reprogram that subconscious, you know. And some people, John, I know this, we've talked about this a million times. Right? They're not even plugged in enough to know that they are not happy with the right your life is going. It's all they know. It could be generational. It could be a pattern of behavior that's happened through generation and generation. They're they don't know that there's any other way to be. And right, that's the person you got the challenge with it. It's hard to, you know, get them to come, you know, to the other side and to understand this. But if you are something that's got an awareness right now, and you're thinking, Man, I'm frustrated, you know, I'm then that is your subconscious not working for you. And you know, this methodology helps with that, right? Just the game
• 30:43
  John Mitchell: You know, I look back over my life, really, the last 10 years, because that's the period of time I've been sharing this with the world. And there have been many times in the past where where I felt angst over people not getting it, and, and, and, and I would pull on them, and I don't feel any of that anymore. And I think that the reason is that I see that that like in my case, when I was 50. So I was intent on applying and figuring out the secret of thinking Grow Rich. Well, what was really going on there? Well, I had just reached a level of dissatisfaction with my current life that I wasn't going to put up with it anymore, and that was going to do something different. Now that was driven by ambition, but the flip side of that is, it could be driven by you're tired of the problems, right? Do you got things that that how you operate and how things work, and maybe your your marriage isn't like you want it to be, and your career is not where you want it to be, and your health, it's well, you know, just keep on doing the same thing, and you're going to get more of it. And so if you're not sick enough of it, then don't do it, you know, because there will be a day where you will be sick enough of it to do it. And that's why, largely, I think my attitude is people get this if they're supposed to get it, and I'm not going to spend a nanosecond worrying about it they do or don't, I'm not going to be pulling on them. I'm just going to focus on the people that do get it and work with them. And that has really been very freeing for me. And so, yeah, and you made me see this, this idea of meeting people where they they're at, because largely, I've been oblivious to that until you mentioned it last week. So, very, very helpful. So
• 32:55
  Kelly Hatfield: But you're like what everybody's not as it doesn't think exactly like I do, and isn't as great as I am.
• 33:01
  John Mitchell: I know, I know. Come on. Funny how that works. That's the key thing to realize that everybody is not operating from your standpoint. They're all operating from from their standpoint, and they're all me oriented, not you oriented. Yeah. So okay, well, until next time, we'll see it.