Latest / The Elevator Careers Podcast / Elevator Mechanic to Addiction Recovery Advocate | Stephen Hook's Story of Resilience

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Elevator Mechanic to Addiction Recovery Advocate | Stephen Hook's Story of Resilience · The Elevator Careers Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: A dear friend of mine, he called me one day.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't really think he knew what he was doing when he called.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: But he called and I I can remember the conversation and we talk about it.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, hey, we have to talk.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_03: And there was a pause, and he goes, Listen, there's a lot, a lot of people who are worried about you.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_03: And right away, I was like, I've been waiting for this phone call.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_03: I think I need help.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: I start crying.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: And the beautiful thing about this, when you do something like this to someone else, like we don't do it in front of a whole bunch of people.
• 0:30
  unknown: True.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, he did it through a phone call.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_03: And the next thing he said was, What do you need me to do right now?
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_03: How can I help you?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: And that conversation that we had then allowed me the next day to go and to tell the truth that this is what's been going on in my life.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_03: Him calling me, right?
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: And let me just say this, Matt, there were so many people saying the same thing, especially my wife.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there were so many people, but um just the manner in which he said it coming from him, it just changed everything.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_02: Hello and welcome to the Elevator Careers Podcast, brought to you by the All Red Group.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_02: I'm your host, Matt Allred.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_02: When talent is mission critical, call the Allred Group.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_02: With industry expertise, top talent, and exceptional customer service, you need the All Red Group on your side.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_02: Your priority is our priority.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_02: Call now 404-890-0445.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_02: In this episode, I sit down with Stephen Hook, a former elevator mechanic with 36 years in the trade to talk about his journey through the industry and his long struggle with addiction and depression.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_02: Stephen shares how his father's pride in the union first drove him into the profession, and then how he battled internally for years before seeking help.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_02: Stephen speaks openly about resilience and honesty in recovery, the power of community and the construction industry's growing willingness to address mental health.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_02: Now a recovery advocate.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_02: To get in touch with Steven, you can find his contact information in the description below.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_02: Steven, welcome to the show.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_03: I appreciate the invite to be here.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, thank you.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_02: No, I I appreciate your willingness, and uh, I'm excited to share your story.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_02: It's honestly it's uh touched my heart just getting to know you.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: And I think there are a lot of people that could benefit from from hearing us.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_02: So let's let's start with the beginning of your your time in the elevator trade.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_02: You gave 36 years, right, to the trade.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_02: To an incredible trade.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: So I uh my dad was employed by Otis Elevator, he was a local one member.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: What are you gonna do when you grow up, right?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_03: Of course, that's the question when you're in eighth, ninth, tenth grade.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_03: And uh I wasn't much of a student, to be honest with you.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um and my dad had asked.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_03: And I I guess I was blessed enough to be in an error where we still had electrical shop in high school, and we still had wood woodwork and metal shop.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: So I I enjoyed working with my hands, and my you know, my dad had said, Do you want to come and try?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, absolutely.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_02: So there was no resistance on your part.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, did you think I don't want to do what dad does?
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_03: Or I mean there was a let me say this like I'm uh in 1980, the Olympic hockey team, right?
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_03: They won that I if there was a glimmer that maybe I wanted to be a professional hockey player, but I started playing high school hockey and I realized I wasn't that good.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_03: So no, there was I there was really no resistance.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_03: Um my dad was just such a proud union IUBC member, man.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_03: I can remember as a kid, like uh Pepsi had gone on strike to drive it.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_03: And as a kid, I mean, we drank a lot of Pepsi at my house.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, once my father found that out, like for months we could not drink Pepsi at my house, you know.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um, so he was just a very proud IUBC member.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: It it show it's shown in his work, he was a phenomenal elevator mechanic.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: He he cared about what he did, and reality was he gave me the blueprint of how to be a good elevator mechanic.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_03: And unfortunately, just being at that age, he told me to go left, I went right, you know, and that's it's it's unfortunate now.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, my father has since passed from from cancer, and uh I was able to make peace with dad.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_03: I told him, you know, how fortunate I was to have him as a father, and honestly, how fortunate I was to be introduced into the elevator trade.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, it sounds like he invited you, you know, that was one one time you didn't, you know, go the opposite direction.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_02: You you came in, you followed followed dad's path, and and uh sounds like it's been a real gift to you.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: As it was to my brother, too.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_03: I have a young I have a brother who was four years older who is uh the safety coordinator for a local one in New York.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_03: So we both followed in uh and I have multiple cousins too, let me say that.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_03: It definitely was a family tradition.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_02: So let's talk a little bit about no, I I do want to get to to the work you're doing now, uh, you know, after 36 years.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_02: And so um want to talk a little bit about the the part that people don't see, right?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_02: When you were people would ask you, you know, how are you doing?
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_02: And you say, hey, I'm doing fine on the outside, you know, working, providing, showing up.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: What was what was really going on on the inside for you?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_03: So from a young age, I knew that, like, I mean, of course, I didn't know it was depression and I didn't know it was anxiety, you know, during that time of the 70s and 80s.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, I hate to say it, but those were words that really weren't you used to be.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I didn't know those words for children.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_03: Um I know now what it was, and I knew when it came to alcohol and drugs, my body definitely, definitely reacted differently.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know, um, by the time I got out of high school, I knew, and this is an honest thing to say, I knew that I would have to be in a 12-step fellowship to have a productive life.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's kind of scary that I knew that, and I still led this life of active addiction for quite some time.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you you told me, you know, when we talked before that uh it's like you could see a cliff and you knew, hey, if I step off that cliff, it it's gonna hurt, and you could still kind of walk towards the cliff.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um what does that feel like inside?
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_03: It it's uh it's like a vicious cycle.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_03: And it you can you know what's gonna happen, right?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_03: And it you know, they say insanity is doing something and doing it and knowing the results, right?
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, insanity sometimes for me is doing something, knowing what the consequences are, right?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: But convincing myself I can handle it this time.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: Sure, sure.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_03: And and I just went through that vicious cycle and I would tell myself I only go out on Friday night.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_03: And uh, like that was never my story, unfortunately.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I mean, and you you even said, you know, kind of the early on, right?
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: Even in high school, you knew, hey, I need some help with this.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: I haven't I haven't hit this wall yet, but I but I can see this wall coming, this cliff, this, you know, whatever it is gonna be.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_02: I already know I need help with that.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: How long did it take you to actually find some help?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_03: I was in my 18 or 19 when someone, a family member was like, listen, it's a good idea that you, you know, maybe you go to a 12-star fellowship.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_03: And of course, back then, I mean, with uh I would it was a much older crowd.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: So I would go to these meetings and I'd be it just and I remember to connect with the 50, 60 year olds when you're 18 years old.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_03: Let me and let me say this, Matt.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_03: Even if I did, they were so nice to me.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I just wasn't ready.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_03: Is is the bottom line.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_03: I had did not hit the bottoms, and I've hit multiple bottoms.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_03: We took I I hit bottoms in active addiction, I hit bottoms clean.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_03: What I've realized is every every bottom had a trapdoor, unfortunately.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I just kept on going and going and going.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I hear you.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_02: I hear you.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_02: What um what about being in the construction elevator world?
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_02: Do you do you think that made it hard for you to say, hey, I'm I'm just not okay?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_02: And and not nothing against the the industry or the culture, but I'm you know, you had brought it kind of brought that up, that it was it was really hard to to say that.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yo, you work in an industry that's very fast moving, right?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_03: And when just say when lunchtime comes, you guys want to eat lunch, listen, we're usually making fun of each other, or you know, you have a half hour for lunch, and the stigma of I'm gonna keep this on me of me telling someone at lunchtime, you know what, like I'm suffering with depression or I'm suffering with anxiety.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: Unfortunately, what I did was is I used substances to numb those feelings.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_03: And uh for a very long time I did that.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_02: So to your point, right?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's hard to say I'm not okay and and just be open, vulnerable about it.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and and I'm sure it's not just the the construction industry, probably.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's probably everywhere, right?
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody's gonna have a hard time.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_03: Anywhere in any kind of male-dominant, I I would think.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, uh the a male-dominant field.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_03: I feel like the last maybe three, four years, it it's getting a little more acceptable.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_03: The the mental health aspect and the substance abuse aspect of this, it's the stigma is starting to be taken away.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: It's how I feel.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_03: More people are open to talk about it, right?
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_03: We we have safety stand downs, and uh it's so important.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_03: My brother's a safety coordinator.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: The safety aspects in any construction field is so important.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_03: But in uh in the elevator industry, it is so important.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_03: For me, I remember when I started working for Otis, the safety bag was real small, right?
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it was so small.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_02: That's like a band-aid and a piece of gauze.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: So, over them being, you know, it's a moving, everything's moving.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_03: So they went from a small to a mid-size bag.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, the safety bag you get now is like the size of a hockey bag.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_03: And it just lets you know how everything's evolving.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like if the construction industry in a whole, if we use that same urgency that we use for safety, right?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_03: And everyday safety huddles and everyday, and I know mental health and substance abuse cannot be an everyday thing.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm well aware of that.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_03: But if we use the same urgency that we've used for the safety in the over the last three decades, I think we would see more people being open to having a conversation about this.
• 11:16
  SPEAKER_03: Because that's really really what you want to do.
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: You want to open up a conversation.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: You know, unfortunately, we can't wave a magic wand and or give somebody a pill to say, yeah, you need help.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: It has to come from that person on the inside.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_03: And the more we speak about it, I think we'll see a huge change in that.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I mean, even the work you're doing now, by by sharing your story, you're giving people permission and and you're showing them that, hey, it's safe to uh to allow myself to be known, to be seen, even though I may feel some regret or some shame about what I've done, that that's where I'm at, right?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_02: That's that's my story.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_02: And so you you're kind of opening that door and and really inviting others to to to seek for help, right?
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_02: It and and you I love the way you kind of compared it to to first aid and safety, yeah, right, is is you know, if if I cut my finger, I don't have any problems saying, hey, I need a band-aid, right?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_02: But if I'm struggling with something else because of the stigma, because of the shame, because of, you know, whatever, whatever's you know, acceptable to society, it's a little harder to say, hey, I'm I'm struggling with depression, or I'm struggling with substances, or I mean, some of the, you know, it's just it's not treated the same.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_03: Um again, I feel like it's changing, but listen, it's it can be embarrassing.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, listen, I was an embarrassment to myself, my family, right?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_03: The local I work for, the company I you you name it, I was an embarrassment.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_03: I put my family through a lot of pain and a lot of suffering.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: And I feel like today, working for Recovery Unplugged, I'm able to I I get up and I have a purpose.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe I talk to someone today and I'm just open about it.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_03: And I I heard this so long ago.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_03: A message from the heart touches the heart, right?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_03: When you're in a room and people start sharing honestly, it changes the whole dynamics and atmosphere of a room.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_03: I I see it all the time.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_03: And some people are open and some people aren't.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: But someone might hear something today, and in six months from now, they'll be like, you know what?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: I remember I heard this.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_03: This guy went through all this trauma and he went and he sought help and it worked.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and and you've mentioned, right, that when you speak with a crowd and you maybe you give them your business card, you're gonna get a phone call or an email or something.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody may call you just because they're they know that you're safe, right?
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_02: It might not be safe to tell their their spouse or their boss or or you know the police that, hey, I'm struggling with this, but but Steven is is safe.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna call him.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_03: And it's a great, it's a great, I love getting texts like that.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe it's just an email.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_03: Listen, I I get very vulnerable, right?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: I I speak about finding my wife dead of a drug overdose and my my son being four years old and the whole dynamics of becoming a single father and trying to navigate, right?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: I I really wasn't a good father in active addiction.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: Now I'm a father, right?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: And uh and people can identify with that.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_03: They they identify the emotions.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe they didn't lose their wife, or just someone sharing a heartfelt message, it it resonates with people.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I love getting emails like that just to say maybe someone just says thank you.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, just you sharing that.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, it it's heartbreaking, right?
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_02: It's like I can't even imagine the the kind of pain you went through, and and you know, it in some ways it it justifies, you know, using substances or the depression or you know, just the trauma, right?
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: Must have been enormous.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: So when that happened, I was kind of like in a mur in a emergency crisis, right?
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_03: I really couldn't comprehend.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_03: And unfortunately, like seven months later, my dad died of cancer.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: So we have all this stuff going on.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: And I would say about two years after that, I really started to get so emotional.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: And unfortunately, children and families are innocent victims when it comes to uh man.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_03: I I can remember this vividly, and I I it sounds horrible.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_03: I wish I recorded it, and I wish I could play it to anybody struggling with substance abuse.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_03: My son was six years old, it was Christmas Eve, and he he comes to me just crying, you know, why did my mommy have to use drugs?
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then he goes, Daddy, I know that you you go to those meetings.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_03: Are you gonna die too?
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: And this is a six-year-old kid, and you right, and that's one thing I have to say.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: What being a member of the IUEC, I was so blessed to be able to surround myself to surround all my children with incredible therapists.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_03: And um, if I did anything right, I surrounded my family.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_03: Uh at times I didn't take my what I was doing for my family, and we'll talk about that later, but through the IUEC, I was able to just provide them with the best clinical and therapy that was out there.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_03: And it it says a lot because my son is now a freshman in college, and he's awesome.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: He's well adopted a lot uh well because of his faith.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: That's a huge, huge, you know, he definitely he has his own relationship with God, but and it also has to do with being able to surround him with the right people.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's awesome that uh that that you had the resources to to really get him the help he needed.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_02: And it's not like you you yourself, even as his father, maybe didn't you didn't have all you needed to give him what what he needed to recover and to to get pointed in the right direction.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's you know, when you when you think about it, you and that's another thing with recovery unplugged.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_03: I was so I love the idea of the family program.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you you send a client to treatment and they're in treatment and they're they're getting the best doctors, the best therapist, and the I'm gonna talk about my family, right?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_03: And when when I got out of a treatment facility, I come home, and every time I left the house for months, my kids cried because they didn't know the next time they were gonna see me.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: And just like I was recovering, my family needs to recover.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, for sure.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_03: And that's a beautiful thing about recovery on plug, they have a family program.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and again, this is for me, this what my experience is it is how this really works, is everybody recovers.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_02: Well, let's let's talk for just a minute about you said, you know, it was just a few years ago that you kind of hit another, you know, rock bottom.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_02: And it kind of brought you to where you are now.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_02: No doubt.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me, tell me about yeah, as I recall, there was a phone call or something, right?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_02: Somebody, somebody had asked you if you needed help.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: And and and this time you had the courage to say, hey, you know, tell me that story, if you will.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, in 2020, my oldest son Sean passed away from complications of COVID.
• 18:36
  SPEAKER_03: And uh so it was a not only are you dealing with the the atmosphere, right, the of the the country during COVID, uh, you're dealing with it that and you I felt like my heart was amputated that day.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_03: And and there's um, you know, and I've read a ton of grief books, and uh I I I enjoy reading, but there's no words that can that you can read that really you can understand what happens when you lose a child.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_03: There's just not so I'm going through this troubling time, and um everyone around me is asking me if I'm okay, and I just do the generic I'm okay, right?
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I something I was trained to do.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_03: But on the inside, right, and this is the weird, right?
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_03: On my heart and like you're talking spiritually, listen, spiritually, I was questioning the goodness of God.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: I questioned everything that was ever told to me.
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_03: Physically, the anxiety had gotten so bad that one day I went to the ER, but I thought I was having a heart attack.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_03: I never experienced anxiety like that.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_03: The depression was so bad, and the only reason I was getting out of bed, Matt, was because I knew people were watching me.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_03: They were worried about me.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_03: It's the only reason, and mentally, and and this is where it really started to play into my life.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_03: I would say this was about six months after my son had passed away, and um I was in so much pain, and I wouldn't really tell anybody what was going on.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_03: And I started to question how long I could go on with this pain.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_03: And then I started to question was I gonna go back to doing the only thing I knew what to do, how to how to subside that pain, and that was to go back to using.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: And it this went on longer and then I would get so upset, right?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_03: And my my son Sean, and as do everyone in my family, they were so proud of me, they come to my anniversaries, and then it got to the point where I was contemplating would the world be a better place without me in it, and and I'm going in this vicious cycle in my in, and this is every day.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: And I might not be a good guy all the time, right?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_03: But I I've been told that I'm a really nice guy, and I was so mean.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: And we talk about that sometimes, like people's behaviors change.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_03: And somebody I worked with who's a dear friend of mine, um, we worked down at the financial center in New York together.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_03: He called me one day, and I don't really think he knew what he was doing when he called.
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_03: But he called, and I I could remember the conversation, and and we talk about it.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: He's like, hey, we have to talk.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: And it was a pause, and he goes, Listen, there's a lot, a lot of people who are worried about you, and right away I was like, I've been waiting for this phone call.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: I think I need help.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: And I start crying, and and the beautiful thing about this, and this is um.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: It's like when and when you do something like this to someone else, like we don't do it in front of a whole bunch of people.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, he did it through a phone call.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_03: And the next thing he said was, What do you need me to do right now?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: How can I help you?
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: And the next day I went and sat down in a facility with some trained professions.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: And I in that conversation that we had then that allowed me the next day to go and to tell the truth that this is what's been going on in my life.
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_03: And let me just say this, Matt, there were so many people saying the same thing that he was saying, especially in my home, right?
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: Especially my wife.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, there were so many people, but um just the manner in which he said it coming from him, it just changed everything.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_02: And and maybe you were ready, right?
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: I I was there, and that's the whole premise of when you're speaking to someone.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: I I wish I I could have the magical word to say something or to do something to to have to get someone in treatment, but it's for me, I I just I'm available, right?
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_03: I wake up every morning saying, I don't know who I'm gonna meet today, but just maybe I'm gonna say something that's gonna be able to for these people to go seek treatment.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_02: So we remind you you've been working as a recovery specialist for how long now?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: Well, I've been doing business development.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um, my last day working in the elevator industry was Halloween.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, not that long.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: So, yeah, I re I retired.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_03: I wasn't sure if I was gonna retire.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_03: I did not know what after being in the IUBC for 36 years, I did not know what this job was gonna entail.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_03: Sure.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: And recovery unplugged, it was has just been so good to me and so open with me and made me feel part of the family that I just I knew after about six weeks, so I put my retirement papers in.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_03: So I've been doing business development with them for maybe two and a half months now, right?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_03: We're in the second year.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_02: So, Steven, tell me a little bit more about Recovery Unplugged.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you you mentioned wanting to get into this uh side of helping people.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_02: What's the organization about?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_03: So, and for me, I I would there was a process.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: I I was looking, I was, of course, you do a lot through Google and you start to reach out to people.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_03: And uh just the name itself, the right, I I don't know about for you, Matt, but for me, like there's a there's a healing part of music, and it always has been in my life.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_03: So the the name was kind of I was like, oh, let me.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: And for me, there were some things that the the place that the organization had to have, and that was it had to have a faith, it had to have the option.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_03: Let me rephrase that.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_03: The option, and faith is not for everybody and I.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_03: We all everybody has choices.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: And I wanted who I work for, have a faith-based program that if people were willing for it, God is a big part of my life, a huge part of my life.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_03: So I wanted that, and the other part was the family.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_03: They have a family program.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_03: And if I was to be an advocate, and I am an advocate for people with substance abuse and mental health, it's no doubt.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_03: But I'm really an advocate for the family, man.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, we sp we spoke about my son and what they went to.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_03: And I I wanted them, they have a program for the families that the families can go on once a week.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_03: And I just feel that that that is so important.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: And I guess the the the other really cool part of it, since I'm a dog person, is that you know they allow dogs, which is which is very uncommon.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_03: And it it's the it's a facility that if someone dear to me, right, was in trouble, I wouldn't even hesitate to take them.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: And and that's how I became on recovery unplugged.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_03: They were so open with me.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_03: They they put me in a group chat early on, and they were, listen, call, text who and call whoever you want.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: You know, usually it's not when you start with a company, they expand a little and a little.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_03: This was the first day.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_03: Call, ask any kind of questions you want.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_03: I like that transparency.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: They were very open.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: They treated me like family from the first day in it.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_03: Two and a half months later, it's it hasn't changed.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_02: Awesome.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_02: So tell me, tell me a little bit about, you know, just that I think sometimes people perceive uh, you know, recovery, hey, clean, um, you know, all better.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, but but you've had you've had some horrific bottoms that you've hit, right?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_02: Just that honestly, I haven't, I haven't experienced those.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't, I don't even know how to to kind of comprehend that.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_02: But it seems like recovery is not like a once and done thing.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_02: It's it's more of a process, and maybe even what you're doing now almost seems like it's it's part of not only helping others recover, but it's it's also part of your recovery.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_03: It it's no doubt helping me.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: And I I say this sometimes I feel guilty because I get up and I know I'm getting so much out of this, like just the ability.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_03: We'll bring it back to elevators.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, you need a lot of maintenance, spiritual maintenance.
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_03: And this is for me.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um I've I'm a believer.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: God's been so faithful for me.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: It's a huge part of my life.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_03: 12-star fellowship.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: I attend 12-star fellowship meetings.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I have 14 years and six months and a couple of days, and I I still believe making meetings makes sense to me.
• 27:45
  SPEAKER_03: Um I speak to someone, I'm not gonna say I speak to them weekly, but I have a professional that I speak to, which is another, you know, a maintenance part for me.
• 28:00
  unknown: Right.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_03: And I and on the physical part, I love to walk.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: Me and my wife walk our dogs for you know 45 minutes to an hour uh a night.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_03: It's something we really enjoy doing.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_03: And the the thing about that is, and I've I could see this happening.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: I work so hard, you do all this maintenance, spiritual, and and you get to that point in your life where you're at that balance where where I always want to be, right?
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_03: At that balance.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: And the minute I achieve that, I stop doing something.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_03: I hear you.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'm scrambling right there.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe it's my prayer life, right?
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe it's my meeting attendance.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_03: And I could sit, I could feel it, right?
• 28:41
  SPEAKER_03: And if I can't feel it, the people in my house definitely let me know.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_03: Like, and they're not afraid to say, when was the last time you were at a meeting?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_03: And and I can't get mad, but I gave them the okay to this a very long time ago.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_03: And and it's it's about being transparent.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: I love it.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_02: What would have become your non-negotiables, right?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_02: As you, as you look at your recovery.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you talked about your your your prayer life, your exercising, you know, your meeting attendance.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_02: What does that look like for you?
• 29:14
  SPEAKER_03: On a daily basis, I mean, I I I love waking up.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_03: I don't pray for a very long time, but uh I do pray.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: I I like going for a quick walk in the morning to, you know, just to breathe, just to get out, get some fresh air in me and uh use it by then I could see how I'm feeling.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_03: And some days I I know it's gonna be a good day, and then there's days that I get up and I think about my son Sean, and I just know, you know, and I I could see what kind of day it's gonna be.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_03: If if I think about all the good times and what a good father I was, and we loved NBA basketball, we had season tickets and we went to all these games.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_03: Or if I think about how when I was in active addiction and what a bad father I was, right?
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_03: I could gauge how my day's gonna go.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_03: And those are the days that it's real important that I call someone and let them know exactly where I'm at.
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_02: Nice, nice.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_02: So, did you ever think you would go from elevator mechanic to recovery advocate?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um let me say this.
• 30:20
  SPEAKER_03: I God had put this on my heart a long time ago.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_03: I I didn't realize how just being honest with people and telling your story.
• 30:31
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I noticed it when I started going to a grief group and just how transparent everybody was, and you'd see somebody new come in, and and just someone telling their story would make somebody else feel comfortable for all things.
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_03: So right after my son's death, I I started seeing it being as a possibility.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: I I didn't know where it would take me, but I knew that the healing process for me is telling telling my telling a story.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_02: I get it.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, we all have our stuff, right?
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: And and sometimes it may look very different.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_02: And and when I say stuff, uh, I know even for myself, right?
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_02: There are there are things that, you know, maybe I'm in pain and I want to numb it.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_02: And so I'll, you know, wolf a bag of chips and and help me forget, you know, that I'm that I'm dealing with something that's that's painful.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_02: But and you know, like you and I have talked before, certain certain behaviors have more stigma.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_02: Some of them will get you locked in jail, some will get you, you know, some will people will laugh at it or or whatever, right?
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_02: But but I think everybody's got got something that that really challenges them.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_02: And there, you know, the question is always, okay, how am I gonna do I numb it?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_02: Do I ignore it?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_02: Do I address it?
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_02: And I I think we've all got something to to various extents.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_03: Mine's crumble cookie.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_02: So well, and yet, and yet that's probably at least it's more legal than than some of the other things you've done.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_03: No, no doubt.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_03: The crumble, yes, no doubt.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know, unfortunately, Matt, in life, every decision I make in life, there's consequences, right?
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_03: Now I I can reset my life, and I have reset my life multiple times.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_03: Let me just say that.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_03: But unfortunately, there's no reset on consequences, right?
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_03: Cemeteries, prisons, and hospitals are filled with people who made one bad decision, man.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_02: So true.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_03: And it's so sad.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it is so sad.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_02: That's a that's a good point.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_02: You mentioned, you know, your your love for the for the IUC, for your your brothers.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I guess my my question is, you know, if there's a a brother or sister listening, maybe they're sitting in the truck, stressed, depressed, maybe they're using, maybe they're thinking of giving up.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_02: What would you say to them?
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: You know, the first thing I would say is that they're not alone.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_03: They're definitely not alone.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_03: They're a phone call away from getting all the help they need.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_03: But and I know how hard that is to make that first phone call.
• 33:08
  SPEAKER_03: You know, it's very hard.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_03: And there's after you make that phone call, for me, my experience is it gets easier.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's like the the world was lifted, you know.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_03: There's just so many people willing to help.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_03: And I would hate to see anybody, you know, there's a look in people when you and I know because I've seen it in myself, there's a look of loneliness and desperation and hopelessness in people's eyes.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_03: And and they don't even have to tell me.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_03: I know because I've seen that look when I look in the mirror some days, and I've seen that look in my family's eyes.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I go out and I do these presentations and I look around and I you just know.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you look in somebody's and there's just just look, and there is there is support and help out there.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_02: It's interesting to hear you say that because I think the the elevator industry overall has a lot of people willing to help, right?
• 34:11
  SPEAKER_02: And and we we hear that, I hear it a lot in these interviews and people I talk to.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_02: It's like, hey, you know, there's ask the question, right?
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of people willing to help teach you about elevators, but but what I'm hearing you say is there's a lot of people willing to to help you bear the burden of of addiction or or grief or loss or or you know, whatever it is that you're struggling with.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_03: There is.
• 34:34
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, uh the elevator industry is just an incredible industry, right?
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_03: It's some of the most generous people, if you ask me, in the world.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_03: I've been on multiple construction jobs when something happens and collections are made.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_03: And I mean, even in when my son passed away, you're talking during COVID, there, I mean, within 72 hours, you know, a very generous check showed up at my house from people that, you know, and that just tells you what kind of people are in the in there.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_03: I UEC, and and there are so many people willing to help.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I think to your point, I think I think we all need help in and just maybe in different ways.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_02: So it it uh it does take some courage to ask, and it takes some humility to say, hey, I need some help.
• 35:28
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, the the humility part, it's funny, is that like somebody did this, somebody showed some humility and and took me to the side years ago.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_03: And it's kind of like the old saying, you know, pay it forward.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 35:43
  SPEAKER_03: Since retiring.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_03: It's in it just, I never thought, first of all, I never thought I would retire.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_03: Let me just let me just say this.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_03: If you talk to me in the 90s, I definitely did not think that I would be retiring and have an annuity fund and have a pension and still being able to provide for my family.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: But to to give back, not only to the whole, you know, I do presentations for a whole bunch of people.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_03: Part of my son's story is his mother was an RN nurse, right?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_03: And then that's a whole nother field that substance abuse and it's it's everywhere.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm I'm not just gonna zone in on one industry, but it's unfortunately it's everywhere.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_03: It's just who's being, if you ask me, who's being more honest about it?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 36:37
  SPEAKER_02: Well, and it and it really has to be one person at a time, right?
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, absolutely.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_02: Every everybody who's wants the help has to be honest and open up and and like you say, the help is there.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_02: So, well, Steven, thank you for being here with me today.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_02: I I appreciate you taking time to to share your story, to share your your new adventure after being an elevator mechanic for 30 years.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_02: And um, yeah, I wish you the best as you continue to to bring recovery and and invite people into that honesty.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: I appreciate that, Matt.
• 37:07
  SPEAKER_03: And thank you.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_03: I love the podcast.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_03: I love seeing everyone's else's perspective on the business.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_02: Well, thank you.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 37:15
  SPEAKER_02: It's a lot of fun.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_02: We'll just we'll keep at it, right?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_03: Without a doubt.
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_02: All right, take care.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_03: Take care now.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you for listening to the Elevator Careers Podcast, sponsored by the Allred Group, a leader in elevator industry recruiting.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_02: Please visit our YouTube channel at Elevator Careers or check us out online at elevatorcareers.net.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_02: Please like and subscribe.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_02: And until next time, stay safe.