Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #834 New Age Kylie?

Transcript

#834 New Age Kylie? · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

0:03
Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast. It's the podcast for the
0:07
Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. Now.
0:10
Speaker 2: The scientific method can only answer so many questions. There
0:13
Speaker 2: are a whole lot of things that it cannot answer.
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Speaker 2: And I'm thrilled that the kids are having these positive experiences,
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Speaker 2: as much as I don't understand it and think it's
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Speaker 2: a lot of below.
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Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
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Speaker 1: and dad.
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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to the Happy Families Podcast. It's the
0:29
Speaker 2: end of another week. It's justin I'm here with Kylie
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Speaker 2: and every Friday we talk I'll do Better Tomorrow. This
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Speaker 2: is the bit where we talk about our successes and failures,
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Speaker 2: the things that have been working right and the things
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Speaker 2: that have worked so well in our family. It's kind
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Speaker 2: of like news when you're at kindergarten or preschool. You
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Speaker 2: know you've got to stand up and hold up the
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Speaker 2: awesome thing that you'd done and show everybody how brilliant
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Speaker 2: you were. It's kind of like that, except sometimes we
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Speaker 2: don't share the good stuff. We share the ugly stuff. Kylie,
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Speaker 2: why don't you go first? What did you want to
0:56
Speaker 2: talk about for I'll do Better Tomorrow? Today?
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Speaker 3: A hapful of years ago, I was introduced to one
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Speaker 3: of the most beautiful human beings I think I've ever met.
1:06
Speaker 2: We met more than a handful of years ago. It
1:08
Speaker 2: was a couple of decades ago.
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Speaker 3: I'm not talking about so cheeky. Her name is Pepper,
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Speaker 3: and she's actually a practicing kinesiologist.
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Speaker 2: Okay, So we're going here today.
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Speaker 3: This is a slightly controversial topic in our home.
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Speaker 2: Yes, that's one way to say it. Should I explain
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Speaker 2: why this is a provocative topic in our home, go
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Speaker 2: for it, okay, Because kinesiology is based on an energy
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Speaker 2: model of health, not a medical model of health. Okay.
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Speaker 2: And there is very very little evidence at all of
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Speaker 2: any kind of There's no scientific evidence that shows that
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Speaker 2: kinesiology works for me. It's hocus pocus, it's hogwashds well,
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Speaker 2: it's a lot of garbage. It's a load of bloney.
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Speaker 3: So what interests me in your whole mindset is that
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Speaker 3: you are an.
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Speaker 2: I'm an evidence based scientific practition now. I have a PhD.
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Speaker 2: I learned how to be a scientist. I look for
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Speaker 2: the what.
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Speaker 3: God fearing man?
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Speaker 2: Oh, come on, okay, so I have faith as well.
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Speaker 3: So over the last few years, I have had my
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Speaker 3: own experiences personally, but I've also chosen to take our
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Speaker 3: children at different times and I can't explain like I
2:26
Speaker 3: literally I can't explain it. But every single time we go,
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Speaker 3: I come home with more clarity than I have previously had.
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Speaker 3: I'm watching it now with two of our teenagers who've
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Speaker 3: been really struggling with some big emotions lately. One of
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Speaker 3: them has actually been seeing a psychologist to help her
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Speaker 3: through the process. And You've been saying to me for
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Speaker 3: some time.
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Speaker 2: I knew you were going to say that, and I've
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Speaker 2: been saying, what have I been saying?
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Speaker 3: You've been saying to me for a long time now
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Speaker 3: that you feel like we are literally throwing money down
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Speaker 3: the drain.
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Speaker 2: We're not making the progress that we need to make.
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Speaker 2: And that's not to say anything about the psychology process.
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Speaker 2: It's just this isn't going very far, very fast.
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Speaker 3: So with one of our children, I remember taking her
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Speaker 3: to a psychologist a few years back and we literally
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Speaker 3: sat in her room and for an hour and a
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Speaker 3: half we talked about handball handball, and I was I'm
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Speaker 3: going to use the word livid.
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Speaker 2: I was pretty livid in the rage.
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Speaker 3: By the time we walked out. I thought, I've just
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Speaker 3: paid two hundred and fifty dollars so that we can
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Speaker 3: talk about handball, and I don't feel like we achieved anything,
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Speaker 3: no progress in that whole conversation. Contrast that with just recently,
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Speaker 3: and I'm sharing this with my daughter's permission, we went
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Speaker 3: to Peppa the kinesiologist, and we started talking about skin
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Speaker 3: care and makeup regimes, right, and I started going down
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Speaker 3: the same road of thoughts, why am.
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Speaker 2: I spending all this money?
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Speaker 3: What is going on?
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Speaker 2: Yeah?
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Speaker 3: Why are we talking about this? And then the aha
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Speaker 3: moment was just so transformational for both me and the
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Speaker 3: relationship I have with this daughter and for her to
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Speaker 3: understand herself. And the wonderful thing about kinesiology or my
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Speaker 3: experience with kinesiology, is that we talk about having emotional intelligence.
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Speaker 3: The ability to connect our emotions to the experiences that
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Speaker 3: we're having when we can't actually articulate the emotions that
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Speaker 3: we're having is really hard, like it's so hard to
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Speaker 3: do that. But through kinesiology and the use of energy,
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Speaker 3: as you would put it, if it's an energy model, yep,
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Speaker 3: Pepper was able to help one of our children, well
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Speaker 3: all of our children at different times, navigate the emotions
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Speaker 3: that they're feeling in those moments, and then help to
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Speaker 3: create the bigger picture of why things are happening, why
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Speaker 3: they do the things they do impacts other people, and
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Speaker 3: the perspective that they each bring to the table. And
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Speaker 3: I'm telling you, you can't deny it. It's been transformational.
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Speaker 2: I cannot deny it.
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Speaker 3: We have a girl who's come home.
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Speaker 2: We have two daughters who saw Pepper in the last
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Speaker 2: few weeks, and both of them have been completely different people.
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Speaker 3: They navigated one of the most challenging experiences that they've
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Speaker 3: had recently, which would have it.
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Speaker 2: Could have escalated been explosive, volcanic.
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Speaker 3: Massive yep, and with a little bit of coaching from me,
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Speaker 3: just acknowledged to each of them that they didn't need
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Speaker 3: to be each other's enemies, that they could actually be allies.
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Speaker 2: And they were aligned and they pulled it together. Now
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Speaker 2: here's what I'm going to say about kinesiology. I think
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Speaker 2: that a skilled person like Pepper is using kinesiology as
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Speaker 2: a vehicle or as a way to gain insights for
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Speaker 2: effective counseling. So what I think is, I still don't
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Speaker 2: think that the kinesiology works. I don't buy it at all,
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Speaker 2: but people do buy it more than that though, because
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Speaker 2: she's doing the muscle tests and the different fancy kinesiology
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Speaker 2: mumbo jumbo. It allows people to feel safe, they open up.
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Speaker 2: And because she is a skilled communicator and a wonderful counselor,
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Speaker 2: even though that's not the shingle on her door. It's kinesiologist,
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Speaker 2: but she's really just a very skilled counselor. I would
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Speaker 2: say she's outstanding from that point of view, and that's
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Speaker 2: why we're getting the breakthroughs. But it's through the vehicle,
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Speaker 2: the very useful, although not quite right, vehicle of kinesiology,
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Speaker 2: that we're getting where we're going. And this goes back.
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Speaker 3: I'm going to beg to differ.
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Speaker 2: Of course.
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Speaker 3: I have sat in those appointments and there is no way,
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Speaker 3: no matter how many conversations we have, there is no
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Speaker 3: way that she could come to the conclusions that she
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Speaker 3: comes to without the help of energy. Yeah, I'm just
6:48
Speaker 3: putting it out there.
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Speaker 2: Regardless whether it's right or not, it is useful. It
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Speaker 2: is so useful.
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Speaker 3: It has been so powerful for our girls to number one,
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Speaker 3: understand who they are, understand their purpose, and understand the
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Speaker 3: way they think.
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Speaker 2: Do you reason we should get Pepper on the podcast
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Speaker 2: and I can ask her a few tough, tough questions.
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Speaker 3: I don't know if she wanted to talk to maybe
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Speaker 3: she won pretty hardcore.
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Speaker 2: I'm not cynical. I'm skeptical. I look for evidence because
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Speaker 2: that's the way I've been trained, right, That's how I've
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Speaker 2: been trained.
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Speaker 3: One of the last catch ups that we had with Pepper,
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Speaker 3: I was talking to our daughter and she said, what
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Speaker 3: do you think Dad's going to say about this session?
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Speaker 3: And I said, I'm not sure, and she said, he
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Speaker 3: just thinks this is hocus pocus, doesn't he?
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Speaker 2: But it's useful hocus pocus. And I'm supportive of it.
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Speaker 2: I'm so glad you take the kids there and we
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Speaker 2: see breakthroughs and we see transformations and we see progress, development,
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Speaker 2: learning growth. So I'm all for it, even if I
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Speaker 2: don't believe in it. Does that make sense? Can we
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Speaker 2: can we be okay? That?
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Speaker 1: Like?
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Speaker 3: I'm supportive, right, I am so grateful that, in spite
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Speaker 3: of your lack of belief in it, that you have
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Speaker 3: been You've been extremely supportive And for me as a mum,
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Speaker 3: I think one of the things that I struggle with
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Speaker 3: with psychology is that I take my child along because
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Speaker 3: she's having troubles and I'm left outside and I don't
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Speaker 3: know what's going on on the other side. And while
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Speaker 3: I respect that our children also need to have autonomy
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Speaker 3: and some space to express themselves. What I have loved
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Speaker 3: about this process, and I don't know if it's just
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Speaker 3: a Pepper thing or whether it is across the board
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Speaker 3: kinesiology thing. I'm included in that process, and my children
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Speaker 3: it's almost like they're so grateful that there's a mediation
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Speaker 3: point that they can actually open up and share this
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Speaker 3: stuff in a safe place and know that I can
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Speaker 3: hear them without the emotion of what's going on. And
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Speaker 3: it has been so powerful. It has It has really, honestly,
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Speaker 3: in the last two weeks since we've returned back to Pepper,
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Speaker 3: the kind of relationship that I'm experiencing with these two
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Speaker 3: kids that have been really struggling with emotions, it's just
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Speaker 3: been a transformation.
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Speaker 2: So that's you, that's your I'll do that it tomorrow.
8:58
Speaker 2: It's a big win to try holistic and alternative therapies
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Speaker 2: if you don't feel like you're making progress with the
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Speaker 2: more evidence based approaches.
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Speaker 3: I think we need to be open minded to recognize
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Speaker 3: that while humans in general, we want proof, we want
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Speaker 3: to see that there is absolutely you know, this is
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Speaker 3: grounded in scientific methods. The reality is sometimes we just
9:26
Speaker 3: can't find answers in those traditional places. And when we
9:31
Speaker 3: find ourselves in that, where do we go? Then I'd
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Speaker 3: like to think that there are other places that we
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Speaker 3: can go to provide us with hope that things can
9:40
Speaker 3: get better.
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Speaker 2: I think it's a really important conversation. It's a fascinating conversation,
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Speaker 2: and we don't know so much. The scientific method can
9:48
Speaker 2: only answer so many questions. There are a whole lot
9:51
Speaker 2: of things that it cannot answer. And I'm thrilled that
9:55
Speaker 2: the kids are having these positive experiences, as much as
9:58
Speaker 2: I don't understand it and think it's a lot of belone.
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Speaker 3: I hope Peppa doesn't hear this.
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Speaker 2: But I love Pepper and I would sit down and
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Speaker 2: have a session with her if I was really stuck
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Speaker 2: as well. Yeah, yeah, seriously, Okay, we need to talk
10:13
Speaker 2: about my old do better tomorrow. Our time is almost up.
10:16
Speaker 3: Well, what's yours?
10:17
Speaker 2: So two things just before I share my older better tomorrow.
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Speaker 2: First off, the other night I was in Adelaide, and
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Speaker 2: I met a lady by the name of Kristin Crowhurst.
10:25
Speaker 2: She gave me a book. People give me books often,
10:27
Speaker 2: and I'm always grateful that people want to share what
10:30
Speaker 2: they've done with me, and I'm usually really impressed with
10:33
Speaker 2: what I've been handed. Kristin was no exception. She's got
10:36
Speaker 2: a brand new children's book. Couldn't believe it. She's taken
10:39
Speaker 2: my three favorite words, except she came up with them independently.
10:43
Speaker 2: I didn't invent it. She came up with it without
10:45
Speaker 2: even coming across me. No matter what, No matter what,
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Speaker 2: It's a beautiful little children's book. It's available right now
10:51
Speaker 2: on Amazon. I read it. I've got a copy of it.
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Speaker 2: I've shared it with the kids. It's really lovely. It's
10:55
Speaker 2: definitely for younger kids, but just gorgeous no matter what.
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Speaker 2: Available on Amazon right now, by Kristin Crowhurst. I told
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Speaker 2: them I was going to share it with people because
11:03
Speaker 2: I thought it was gorgeous. Second quick bit of news
11:06
Speaker 2: that I should have mentioned at the start of the podcast,
11:07
Speaker 2: but I'm going to mention it right now. I've got
11:09
Speaker 2: a new book out. I got a new book out.
11:12
Speaker 2: It's called Being a Great Dad. For dummies, Being a
11:16
Speaker 2: Great Dad for Dummies?
11:18
Speaker 3: Are you a dummy?
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Speaker 2: Sometimes I am. I am the kind of dad who
11:21
Speaker 2: probably needs a book like this. In fact, I think
11:23
Speaker 2: every dad needs a book like this. It's a big book,
11:26
Speaker 2: Being a Great Dad for Dummies.
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Speaker 3: You look at it, it looks a little bit like a textbooks.
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Speaker 2: Well it's not. But it's useful and it's kind of
11:32
Speaker 2: a DIY guide and you go to the bit that
11:34
Speaker 2: you need. It's not a book that you read from
11:36
Speaker 2: cover to cover. Okay, sense, that's how dummies boks are written.
11:39
Speaker 2: You just go to the index, find the bit you need,
11:42
Speaker 2: read that paragraph, and get on with it. It's really about
11:45
Speaker 2: making progress quickly. Being a Great Dad for Dummies is
11:48
Speaker 2: out now where if you buy your books online, in
11:51
Speaker 2: bookstores and all over the place. And I really wanted
11:54
Speaker 2: to share that because I'm excited. That's my ninth book.
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Speaker 2: The last thing a bit there, aren't you maybe a
12:02
Speaker 2: little bit? The last thing that I need to do
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Speaker 2: is share my I old do better tomorrow. It's a
12:05
Speaker 2: really simple one. We went and bought a copy of
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Speaker 2: the Australian version of Monopoly a little while ago, maybe
12:09
Speaker 2: a week and a half ago, and on the weekend,
12:11
Speaker 2: I sat down with the kids and played Monopoly for
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Speaker 2: about two and a half hours. And I haven't played
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Speaker 2: Monopoly since I was a teenager. I hate the game.
12:18
Speaker 2: I hate board games. But I just thought, no, I'm
12:20
Speaker 2: going to do it. I'm going to invest in the
12:21
Speaker 2: time with the kids. I can't wait to play again.
12:23
Speaker 2: Ask me how I did in the game.
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Speaker 3: No, I'm not asking. You were the most ridiculously competitive person.
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Speaker 2: I was not competitive. I just played with a good strategy.
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Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, you know what. You know it's no
12:35
Speaker 3: feat to win to a nine year old.
12:38
Speaker 2: Oh there was a nine year old, there was a
12:40
Speaker 2: thirteen year old, and an almost sixteen year old.
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Speaker 3: Can I just say what. I absolutely loved Your game
12:45
Speaker 3: went for like what three hours?
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Speaker 2: About two and a half hours.
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Speaker 3: It was a long game. But Emily came in at
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Speaker 3: one point and she said I just lost. And I said, oh, Emily,
12:56
Speaker 3: she said, it's okay, It's only a game.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, we set it up beforehand. I said, some people
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Speaker 2: are going to get beaten in this game. This game
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Speaker 2: definitely has a winner and everyone else loses. When you lose,
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Speaker 2: you've got to be cool with it. You'll have another
13:07
Speaker 2: game later. Can I just want to be really clear
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Speaker 2: about this. I bought and owned a hotel on every
13:15
Speaker 2: single property along the first part of the board and
13:18
Speaker 2: the second part of the board. I owned everything from
13:21
Speaker 2: go to jail to free parking. I owned all of
13:25
Speaker 2: easing the kids with the hotel on every single one
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Speaker 2: of them. Every time the kids got to free Parking
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Speaker 2: and moved towards Shado, They're like, oh, fantastic, I'm going
13:33
Speaker 2: to And then they would get towards go and they
13:35
Speaker 2: started crying. They're like, oh no, we're about to die.
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Speaker 3: Definitely tears. There was lots of laughter, demolished. There was
13:41
Speaker 3: a lot of noisy demolished them.
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Speaker 2: It was so good.
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Speaker 3: But I did. I loved and let's be real, kinesiology
13:49
Speaker 3: helped you get through that game. I'm telling you right
13:52
Speaker 3: now that the kids would not have coped without her.
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Speaker 2: Our old did better tomorrow. Take home messages this, Take
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Speaker 2: the kids to wherever you need to take them to
13:59
Speaker 2: get the help that you need, because it is worth it.
14:02
Speaker 2: Be open minded and playboard games even though you hate them,
14:06
Speaker 2: because it's amazing how much fun it is to destroy
14:09
Speaker 2: your children their monopoly. We hope that you've enjoyed this
14:12
Speaker 2: episode of Happy Families podcast, which has gone on far
14:14
Speaker 2: too long, but thanks for persisting with us. The Happy
14:17
Speaker 2: Families Podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from Bridge Media.
14:19
Speaker 2: Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Oh I should just
14:22
Speaker 2: mention as well. Coming up, we've got our brand new summit.
14:26
Speaker 2: It's called the Smells Like Teen Spirit Summit. If you
14:30
Speaker 2: haven't checked it out, please visit us at happy families
14:33
Speaker 2: dot com dot you, or our Facebook or Instagram pages.
14:35
Speaker 2: Doctor Justin Coulson's Happy Families