Latest / The Bold Lounge / Melissa Dawn Simkins: Full-Court Bold- Playing All Out in Life and Business

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Melissa Dawn Simkins: Full-Court Bold- Playing All Out in Life and Business · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: My name is Leigh Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in the world.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Every week, we'll hear from someone who has taken a leap or embarked on an extraordinary journey.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they use to make things happen.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Whether they face challenges or doubts along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own bold journey.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be freed.
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: Tune in and get ready to be inspired.
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Today we have Melissa Dawn Simpkins.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Melissa is a leadership transformation architect who blends the discipline of elite athletes with executive influence to unlock purpose-driven, sustainable performance.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: As founder of the Velvet Suite, an Inc 5000 edtech company, she partners with C-suite leaders and high-performing teams to redefine success from the inside out.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: A pioneer in positioning personal brand as a currency of leadership, her influence spans Fortune 500 boardrooms, elite athletic circles and global forums, building character, resilience and capacity in the face of change.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: She is the creator of the MVP Accelerator, the Beyond the C-Suite newsletter and the upcoming C-Suite Confidential podcast.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: She offers bold insights for executives navigating transition, burnout and growth, helping leaders to lead and win from within.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Bold Lounge so happy to have you, Thank you.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 1:58
  Speaker 2: It's been a privilege to be here.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: I'm excited to dive in.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so we were talking a little bit in the green room before, but I'm excited to jump into the conversation and really understand kind of bold on your terms.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: What does bold look like in your life?
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Great question.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I think it's doing it even when you're scared and doing it anyway.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: To me, bold is pushing yourself out of your comfort zone and taking the risk when you don't know the outcome.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: So doing it anyway, maybe feeling the fear, feeling the fear and recognizing.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: I often get asked, lee, like, how do you become confident?
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: And one of the things I will say is I come across.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: People perceive that I'm very confident and I am now, but I was not for a long time.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: I struggled with my confidence, my belief in myself, and I remember I can literally remember it's the summertime, right, and I can remember moments where one of the things I did when I was I think it was probably like five or six I was just learning to swim and I would go to the end of the diving board and I would do one, two, three Mel Robbins talked about that, but that was my thing and I would push myself.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: After I started one, two and three, I had to go, like there was no way that I could stop, because that was the mental mindset I had to push myself out of my comfort zone.
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: And so I think about it very much in that same way, like where's your diving board and when do you just say one, two, three, go.
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I love that just simplicity of the one, two, three go.
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that just simplicity of the one, two, three go.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Once you say one you can't go back, you've got to go to three.
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, good for you One for learning to dive.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever just, okay, just swim, okay, jump.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: I like envision you like on that concrete platform doing the dive Absolutely.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: But I bet some of the things we try might even feel like that.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: You know, in the sense, that kind of the things we do.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: We talked about me leaving my job and that certainly felt like a big dive, but as you take that step or jump or leave, it is what comes next.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: That really is the learning and helps you continue to move forward, and I think that's the key thing is moving forward right.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, there's so much power and momentum.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: So when you think about that definition for you, feeling the fear, doing it anyway, going one, two, three, jump and jumping what's a time in your life that you remember that feels very aligned to that definition?
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: How many times?
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: Let's use one, I would say.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Going back to career, we just it's just how we just talked about it leaving my job.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: So I left my corporate job.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I was a corporately trained marketer, been in many corporations.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: I had the dream job.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I worked with celebrities.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Everyone was in their cube.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: I was going to the award shows, I was backstage with Shania Twain building brand strategy and it was a cool job.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: I was pretty young at that time and I remember saying, okay, I had a pivotal moment in my life happened.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I had a very close boyfriend at the time in the past, in my twenties, suddenly playing basketball and I was like, okay, what am I here for?
• 5:02
  Speaker 2: This is a cool job, but what is my why?
• 5:05
  Speaker 2: And I remember stepping back and saying, okay, I believe, if I feel the onion back beyond the surface of having a cool job, there's something more I'm supposed to do.
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: And I started pursuing purpose and I started asking the hard questions about why am I here?
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: What am I really?
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: What really drives me?
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: What change do I want to see in the world?
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: And it led me to an answer that was you might have to get out of your current job.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: You may have another life, called entrepreneurship on the other side of this and it was very uncertain and scared.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I did all the things.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: I got a roommate, I saved, I built a business plan.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I want to control everything.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: So I did everything I could do to control, except for actually jumping off the diving board.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: It was like this is the time, and I'm a woman of faith and I prayed and it was like now, go now, like one, two, three, now Like, but I'm three months from being vested.
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: No, do it now.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: And I literally jumped, leaving money on the table that I had worked so hard for.
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: But I knew that that was the time and I felt that now was there and I say now stands for no opportunity waits.
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: And I was like something inside of me from that diving board when I was a kid.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: But the other moments I've had in life was like I know this now moment and I know I said I was going to do it and I've been planning this for three years now.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Forget what's behind, forget that you are leaving money, what's ahead of you.
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: And I did the one, two, three.
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: That was in your twenties, your mid twenties.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: That was in my mid twenties.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry for your loss.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: So I think you know those are pivotal moments.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So in the sense of just something in, I guess, in relationship to that is, I had a very good friend who I knew since eighth grade, really was my first boyfriend and he passed away at 22 of an accident.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: It is another reminder of like, like, life is not waiting for you.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: Tomorrow is not promised.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: I know I say this a lot on this podcast, but I just want people to hear it and at the same time, also realize how blessed they are to be walking, talking, seeing, hearing, doing all the things that we take for granted today as well.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad we're having this conversation, because that feeling that I had yesterday was the same feeling I had after losing and going through loss.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: That said, this is a now moment, like you need to move forward on this vision and this dream because you don't know what tomorrow holds.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: And so it's a moment of full circle in this conversation, because 20 years later, I'm remembering why I needed to move with now.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't go away Right, I think sometimes we get very busy or, you know, we get lost in some of the the hustle of what we do.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: Because we do hustle, I don't think that's a bad word.
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: Personally, I think that's how you get things done.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: You work at it, yeah, work hard.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't just hold a stone in your hand and manifest and meditate.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: Well, that helps you with some of the stress, right, it's not going to help you get it done.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly, exactly.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: But I think what's very important, I think of all the things you said and with your definition, is that it was this now moment, this no opportunity waits for you moment.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: And even though it didn't seem logical, you made the move, meaning oh, money on the table, I'm getting vested, why can't I just hold out 90 more days?
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: But something was planted in you to move and to move at that point.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: And you did.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: And what happened for you once you made that move?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Oh, I had it all planned out.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: I had it planned out so much so that my former employer was going to be my first client.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Everything was going to be perfect.
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Because I'm a control freak, I like control, right, and I've evolved, but I still have that in me, right.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: So I controlled the controllables.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: I had a plan, I had my first client, I was going to move on and do great, and then the company said no, you have to be separated for 12 months and give you a contract.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: So then suddenly that plan fell apart and I didn't have the net.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: I didn't have what I thought.
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: And, interestingly enough, I was having a conversation with a friend of mine from high school and he was someone who had been very successful in business, and I tell him what's going on and I said I am not sure how many make my rent and he says Melissa, I got you.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I said what do you mean?
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: He says what do you need to get through the next three months?
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: I said what he said I will help you.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: He said in third grade I knew there was something about you.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: He was my lifeline, you know.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: But the point is that it still may not happen the way you think it still may happen the way that you plan, but I wouldn't be here to tell you the story of 20 years later had I not taken the leap.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: And I'm glad I did.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: I'm so glad I did.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and did you play sports in college and high school or how did you?
• 9:36
  Speaker 1: You know, we know part of the things that you do and even people you've coached.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah well, so I've always had the athletic mindset.
• 9:44
  Speaker 2: I was a cheerleader, I ran, and then I was a dancer too, Okay.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: So those are the things that kind of molded me.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: But if you ask my grandmother when she'd come to visit, she was like you were always doing aerobics with the VHS.
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's always been this thing and it's been a way for me to relieve stress, it's been a way for me to.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: And then when I went through that season of loss, I ran my first marathon and I started to really dive into how does my mind and my body help me overcome these obstacles?
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: That's where I really uncovered the inner athlete.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: And, like Nike says, all of us are, have a body.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: If you have a body, you're an athlete.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: And I say the same thing about the mindset.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: If you really tap into that mindset, it is a such a powerful force to overcome the obstacles.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: And life throws all of us through me a lot of obstacles.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: But that's how I was able to tap into that.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: I tapped into it at that moment.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: I went through challenges with fertility.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: I tapped into that there.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I tapped in it to start my business.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: I did my first fitness competition, so I became a fitness athlete.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: So it just became a part of my DNA as I realized the power of what it could do to transform my life.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, one of the things as you're talking just I think is very interesting.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: So, like research for my second book, I did a lot of research on the neuroscience of making a bold move and particularly around fear and also gut and intuition.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: So really those are the two things that I dug into and when you're talking about, you know the things that you did and then the things that you could do.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: Even though things didn't work out as planned or didn't go specifically to the plan, or maybe it just was even the opposite of what you thought, what you were really doing is actually training your brain to take risk and to know that you were going to make it through.
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: In my first book, I talked about every bold step leads to more confident, which leads to more agency, and then it just becomes this wheel that it's hard to stop once it leaves the station At least that's what I've seen in others.
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Like you start moving and you have a plan and you keep, you know, taking those steps.
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: So when you think about working with all the leaders that you've worked with across industries within athletics, what would you define are the characteristics of a leader in 2025?
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: That's such a great question.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: I think there are many characteristics, but the core distinct characteristics.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: Number one is they have a clear sense of purpose and it's not position or title, but it is a mission that they are adamant about fulfilling, of achieving that mission and vision.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: And I'll add vision we call it the MVP way mission, vision, purpose.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: So that's what makes leaders excel.
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: Excellent leaders become top of their game is they have a sense of intention, they have clarity of vision.
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: Even when other people and naysayers don't see it, they have this uncanny ability to block it out.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: And then they put in the work, the daily discipline, to activate and move that vision forward.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: And there's just a grit that comes with that.
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: And the other piece, I think, is they have the ability to leverage their platform of influence to bring other people along.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: And that's pretty key because there are some solo sports but at the end of the day, you always are in a team environment, right?
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Whether it's your support team at home, your spouse, your partner, your children, whether it's the team that reports to you or those that you collaborate with in the community or in your job.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: You have to leverage a platform and all those habits to create influence to bring others along with you, that collaborate with you, that help build the outcome of the vision and that, ultimately, we all become better.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: And I think those are three key attributes that distinguish leaders today, and I will package that in that they are able to pivot and navigate with agility and change Because, like I said, all the things, the best laid plans, and then something comes and they find a way to navigate it and keep moving forward.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: And the way that you've actually built your platform and really, I think, honed in on your purpose is to me like one of the greatest examples of thought leadership and how you build it and how you align it with who you are and what you learn and what you do and who you help and why.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: I think we're here right.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Ultimately, I think we're here for a purpose and you get aligned to that.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: But just even seeing your journey of this great timeline on your website, of the things, certain milestones along the way, with many other things in between, I'm sure, but just looking at that, this is work, like this is something that takes time.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of feeling, these days at least, that I get like there's this instant gratification of like oh I did this, so now I'll be that.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: Oh I did this, so now I can do this, which I'm all for people believing in themselves and wanting to take the next step in their career, but it feels like one off.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: So if someone's truly building a brand that is connected to their thought leadership which to me, that's what it should be all about Like, what is it that you do, who do you help, what problems do you solve and how do you do it differently?
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Right, as part of that, what do you think we should be doing differently now that you're seeing, like I see like people want things to happen overnight.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Or they, you know they, they write a great book but it's not connected to anything, so then it doesn't really do anything.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Or you know it doesn't really take off like they wanted it to.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: Or they have seven gazillion followers but it doesn't really equate to impact.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: Or you know in their mind something that can move them forward from the perspective of their goals.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Like, what are you seeing as some of the common mistakes people make around thought leadership and branding today?
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: Not a clear point of view.
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: I think there's so much mimicking and what we're missing is, with AI, with the just overwhelming amount of content, the ability to break through with clarity, consistency over time is what builds brands, and so much so that people can pare it back exactly your message.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: That is hard work, because you're competing against all the noise and because you're competing against all the noise statistics, they, in the first three seconds of someone meeting you, they decided to tune you in or out.
• 15:54
  Speaker 2: So you got to be so clear, so crisp, so immediate and consistent, because if you're jumping to the next trend and next topic, people don't know what you stand for Right.
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: And so I think that the true brand building is not just the shine, it's the substance that backs up, the proof of what you've been able to do and doing it consistently over time.
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: I think there's definitely room to navigate, to evolve, like that's life.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: You can't just be this, but you've got to have a clear position and you've got to solve a real problem.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: If not, you're just adding to the noise, and I think right now, people are very, very over the empty conversation.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: They want to know can you really help me?
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: Do you have a real value.
• 16:34
  Speaker 2: If not, let's just keep it moving, and so I advocate right now we just got to have real authenticity in our voice and really a defined position.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: That's serving an audience.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and you were talking about brand way before it was on trend.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: What I know to be true is I had to do this work because when I was trying to sell my company, velvet Speed, as a brand leadership company, people were like, what are you talking about?
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: Is it soap?
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Is it a car?
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Like, I don't get it.
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: So the whole people branding thing was totally foreign.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: But what allowed me to do what I told you?
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: The three things that leaders do.
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: I created a mission statement that I memorized and I'll give you a part of it that says I am a pioneer.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: I challenged the status quo.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: That's who I am, so I expect to bring something to the market that people don't understand.
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: When I understood that connection to my mission and my why, I stopped getting frustrated.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, that means I have to really become good at articulating my value in a way that people can see what I'm saying.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: So that became my focus is help people see what you're saying, what I'm about to introduce to the market as well.
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: It's a novel concept.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: So people have this.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: You're bringing two different parts together.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: How does that work?
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: So my job and my purpose and my mission help me see what I'm saying, because I realized I'm a pioneer.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: You're not going to see it before.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: That's my job.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: If it's been here before, probably not my job, not my jam, because that's not who I am, but I'm who I am Right.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: So that's the connection.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: That takes some time and I make it seem so easy, but I will tell you.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: They were hours and days and frustration and tears, cause I was like people understand.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: It's so clear to me.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: You do have those moments where, like wow, I've broken it down and set it eight ways Sunday and no one gets it or believes it Right.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: I think that's the other thing too, you know.
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: So I think kind of working through that again, I think that's where I don't know if it's resilience or tenacity or patience, or maybe all of those patients is probably the thing I have the least of out of all those.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: But I think it's a combination of that.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: But I think it's also an awareness that you are in alignment to what you should be doing and how you should be doing it, and I think sometimes I feel like it's conviction or commitment that people are missing too.
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: Like you said, there's a lot of mimicking, a lot of imitating.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Heck, even like I do things, I'm sure you have done things and someone imitates it and I just want to change it.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Like I just was like okay, well, I'll go to the next level, Like I'll go over here because I don't want to be over here right.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: I do want to be an original.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: I do want to be differentiated right In a good way, because I think I've had different experiences and different learnings and applying them differently than you would or she would or he would, and so I think that's the whole point and finding your people right who can resonate with your message.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a powerful journey of exploration.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so tell me a little about the MVP accelerator.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: You just talked about the MVP.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: You know in the sense of what it stands for, their mission, vision and purpose, but what is the accelerator, and can you tell us a little bit more about that?
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I'll start with saying our journey.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: My origin story is in athletics.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Our journey in the business actually started with sports.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: The NFL was our first big client and so I learned a lot.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: I learned so much about the neuroscience of performance and from a perspective of an athlete, and so a lot of the thematics in our business tie back to that origin story and to my own personal journey and passion.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: So the MVP accelerator really speaks to what we call our flagship offering.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: That really is the foundation of defining your mission, vision and purpose.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: Harvard Business Review says fewer than 20% of leaders, no matter their title, have never written a purpose statement and even fewer have articulated.
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: I feel like people think that's a really big question and it is but then they don't do the second part, which is like spend some time and sit in it right, like figure it out.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: It's almost like when I'll just equate it to like something tactical, like creating your vision board, which isn't the same as creating your purpose statement, but it is something that you do to make sure that you understand that you are on the right track, you are aligned with what you're meant to do or you know, are passionate about and where you can make a difference, but I feel like people skip over it because it feels too too hard or too big.
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: Would you agree with that?
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, 100%.
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I use the analogy.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: It's like purpose is not prime, like you want to order it today and it's on your doorstep tomorrow.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: No, it takes and it's continual work, and I think part of my message and my reason for being is because that work is so worth it.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: It has made all the difference in my life.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: My alignment, me getting to the actual intent of my goals been because of that alignment, and so I try to demystify it.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: I also think it is the element that makes leaders elite that I want to democratize.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: A lot of people don't talk about how that drives them, but when you interview, you talk to high-performing leaders.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: It is a key, essential element to how they navigate their choices, how they prioritize their time, how they get in their zone of genius and they execute at a high level.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: So if we can help more people understand that and we call them the accelerators we want to help you accelerate Time is moving so fast.
• 21:59
  Speaker 2: We talked about that at the beginning how can we help you really get more from your life, get more from your work?
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: How your work aligns with your life is everything, because we spend so much time.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: So one of the things that you know I've heard over and over, but I don't know anything.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: You know with regard to the science of it, but I'm sure you do when it comes to being a leader, If you have played a sport, if you have been an athlete, whether it's in high school or even in elementary, do you lead differently?
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Do you have a different set of skill sets, potentially, that you can use if you choose to use?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: since you did play sport before, I'll ask you a question what percentage of executives, Fortune 500 executives in particular, do you think were former athletes?
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Like what do you think is the percentage?
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: I want to say like 95.
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: It's really high.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: That's what I want to say.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Well, women 96%, okay, 96%, and executives 84.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Okay, so some of the top Tim Cook played basketball.
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: Apple, some of the top CEOs have had an athletic background.
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: So the answer is yes, and there is science and there is evidence-backed research.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: Matter of fact, we're getting ready to, in a few months, release a white paper on that, because there are key elements that I talked about earlier that parallel directly to the athletic space and to the business space.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: And, what's very interesting, if you really follow this space, there are a lot of executives now getting into ownership in sports.
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: There's an uptick in that.
• 23:26
  Speaker 2: I was with an owner for a soccer team yesterday and they were saying because the old vanguard of ownership was very much like this is my trophy, I've got you know where business leaders are seeing the parallel and being able to bring some of the business fundamentals of next level leadership to sport and vice versa.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: So there is this unique parallel and opportunity.
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: I think that we can learn from both, on both sides.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I just thought of, like Ryan Reynolds, and I'm sure he played some kind of sport, but I don't know what maybe soccer, but what he's done to, from a business perspective, turn around the soccer team with and he has a partner they've totally turned it around.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: So I think in that sense, like bringing the skill sets of business also into sport, but also understanding sport and how it can be applied to our business, I always have said life is a group project.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: You know those things in high school that we hated but they teach you just like being on a team is.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I think in that sense and I didn't ever play any individual sports I think I I really enjoy being, even when if I run, I don't want to run alone, I want to run in a group, and so I think you know I played softball and basketball and soccer and so like for me it was always team and there's something to that.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: I think too that I pull through when I think about creating community and connection in my life now.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: Yes, you're a perfect example of that Like right.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: So your ability to rally, rally folks around a common vision.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: You know, to get people on on their point, on their position being an entrepreneur, you've got to have the playbook right.
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: All of these things are very connected between business and sport.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so when you think about some of the things that you've done when it comes to belief, so the B of the bold framework is believe, and so why I created that was because I think sometimes we don't see what's possible, because we don't believe in ourselves to be able to figure it out or be able to take a step that's unknown, like you did and I did.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: But when it comes to belief and really being an athlete and then connecting that to leadership, which really is where you are and the cornerstone of your work, what is it that we can understand about our belief and how powerful it is for what we can do next or what we can see as possible?
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: How can we?
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: use it.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I believe that there's a lot to unpack here.
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: I do see belief and faith as an identity.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: Again, I think leadership is an identity, it's not a title, and when you own that identity then you can actually demonstrate it and people then recognize you for that.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: So, from a belief perspective, one of the things that I think is hard to overcome is not stepping out and taking the risk.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Like when you see yourself do hard things, you then have a belief that it's possible.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: But if you never take that step, you won't have the belief because you can't see yourself doing the hard thing.
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: So it doesn't seem plausible, it doesn't seem like you can actually actualize that.
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: So that, to me, is the reason why you've got to do that jump.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: You've got to do the one, two, three, because you have to see yourself doing the hard thing, not see other people.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: Because the more you see other people, the less it feels like it's you.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: And that's the challenge of social media.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: We see it right now oh, wow, they're all doing it.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Well, they're so much bigger than me, they're so much better than me.
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: I'll give you a very real example.
• 26:46
  Speaker 2: Before I left my job, I had soared to the top of the business.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I was doing some great work in terms of influencer marketing at the time, which was celebrity marketing, and the person I was doing within an agency was getting recognized, rewarded.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: I was getting promoted.
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: We were like yin yang she decides to go start her business.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: I had been talking about the business this is a three-year wait, but I've been talking about it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: She has the boldness to go do it.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I get promoted to another division.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: I write her a check from my work to do a million dollars her first contract.
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: Do the work because I watched her do it, because I didn't do it right.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: I had to do that to see myself do hard things and I said, okay, I can do.
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: I did that.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: I could do the next thing Right.
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: So until I did that hard thing, I was just going to cheer everybody else on and still believe I couldn't do it.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: So the belief is huge.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I think the way you get to belief is you've got to see yourself doing hard things and then you believe it's possible.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't happen from the sidelines.
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: You know, certainly you can impact it as a coach from the sidelines, but I think as a player, sure you can cheer and be nice and, you know, ring the cowbell as people run by you, but I do think that you won't have the life that you could if you don't step off that sidewalk right or if you don't take that step.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: How to get in the game?
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: You got to do it, yeah.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: And again I always say, like it doesn't have to be this huge jump, like just take a step, a single step, a single baby step, whatever makes you know you're moving forward and makes you a little uncomfortable.
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Let's do that.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: You know I don't think people should like ski over their skis, I think you know.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: But I do think sometimes people think that it has to be big and loud and has to be something you know on social media and it doesn't.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Well, it could just be breaking the mundane of the.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: I talk about doing something different.
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: Go drive home differently, get out the opposite side of the bed like, do something that breaks the routine and starts to get you uncomfortable out of your box, right.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, did you ever get to a point where you felt like I'm going to stop because this is too hard All the time?
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: Just last month Does it end in day I literally had this conversation.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: My sister I'm probably too honest I was like do you remember that time that I was driving and I was crying so hard I had to pull over?
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: And you talked me down and I she said yeah.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: I said I am having one of those days right now Like I am it's close.
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they happen Right.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: I think people think when they see people as strong or strong leaders, that they sometimes don't remember that they're human.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: You know, I always say check in on your strong friends, you know, because I think those are the people that are dealing with the things that they deal with and keep going.
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think also, sometimes those days are really hard and lonely, you know, I'll be honest with you know, so, making sure you do have those people that you can turn to, who get it, and, you know, don't lecture, you, don't tell you to stop, but, like you know, really kind of hold you in that moment and then you keep going, you know.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so I think one of the key things I think that comes from your work and the work that you do, I think is also seeing that there always is a way forward.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: It just might not be the original way that you had set out, or it may not be the way that you had thought it would go.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Most of the time it's never the way I thought it would go.
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: Did you have something that landed way better than you thought?
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: And then you're like like I didn't realize that was going to be a thing.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: But now it is Like, even when you come up with your concepts and things like that, you know, sometimes I wonder, is this going to stick?
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: And they don't always right.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: That's so true the iterations of my online learning platform.
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: So we now have a platform that has grown.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: We are in 26 countries.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: We have a whole ed tech experience.
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: I will tell you, there was like seven iterations of that before.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: Some of them were just like nobody signed up.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Nobody wanted to do it and I had so many brand names for them, right?
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: So one thing that I would say when things landed well across the board and I think this is a really powerful insight from a marketing perspective for people who are trying to break through in their brand when I was in corporate in my velvet suite company, as we've evolved over 20 years, has been never underestimate the power of cultural momentum having the right message at the right time.
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: Part of it is your message, the other part is the moment, and being able to catapult on that moment creates such momentum for you.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: And so I've always looked at not just my brand and my message and my audience.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: I'm like what is the message that will fit for the moment that we're in that will help give wings to what I'm doing, In particular, as entrepreneurs.
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: We don't have the big budgets of these big brands.
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: We don't have thousands of staff to go and experiment with.
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: We've got a little that we're working a lot with.
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: To me, that is from a marketing secret sauce I will tell you has been, for example, when I was in corporate America, I was on the front end of entertainment marketing and so a lot of the work that I did whether it was working with Shania Twain, jessica Simpson, mary J Blige was because of a cultural moment where TV was changing from 30 second ads to what would we call now product placement and reality TV.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: Like I was at that moment and I was able to capitalize on that and make a huge impact for my brand, fast forward.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: We're moving into a moment of Me Too and my platform.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: Shesweet took off.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: What was an NFL program for men, we repositioned and packaged for women.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: But SheSweet took off because of Me Too.
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: It was a cultural moment I had nothing to do with, but I was ready with a solution.
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: The NFL contract I got rejected for that three times and suddenly I got not just the Atlanta Falcons, not just the Cincinnati Bengals, which I had gotten rejected for for two years got the entire NFL.
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: Why Michael Vick happened?
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: And I was ready with the solution and I moved it.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: So I think these are, these are really powerful jewels around Mark it's, it is you, but if you can capitalize on the moment with something that people need, it's a game changer.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and genuinely right?
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: No, no, each of those stories I had gone through a lot of no's, nfl had gotten rejected for my same idea three times so and I didn't let it go.
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: I just put it on the shelf, because timing is everything, and that's one of the things I think in entrepreneurship I've learned is that it may not be a no, it just may be not yet.
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and being okay with that.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what do they say?
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: Fail is like your first attempt in learning.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: It is and that's like growth mindset too that, I think, the big piece of being an athlete and being a leader and obviously a big part of your world.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: You know, rejection sometimes does mean no, like I should stop doing this.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: This isn't the right way that I should go.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go on this route or I'm going to do it differently, or I may just stop doing it, which is some of the harder things I think to do when you work so hard.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: But also you're talking about a resilience of like it's not a no, it's a not yet that I'm feeling.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: It's not a no, it's a not yet that I'm feeling, and so I'm going to keep trying.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: And then that moment you know the world needs, it meets you and that what you can provide, and I think that's something really for people to hear.
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I say.
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: I stand on a mountain of no's to get to one yes.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like 200 to one, maybe 2,000.
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, depending on what you're doing.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, next level, yeah, for sure, I think you know I saw this, like.
• 34:08
  Speaker 1: You know, to make $10 million, you know you need to basically drop a zero and that's how much you need to spend to get to that point, you know.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: So it was like just really staying keen to like this can be.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I just have to keep going and you know, like, like you said, having the mindset of staying aligned with your purpose and not flexing or chasing a trend, I think is really really important in there, too, good messages for people to hear.
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: So, as we close out and this time is going really fast I would love to know, when you think about you know being bold and you know claiming your purpose and doing the things you do, do you have any particular bold habits or habits that you do daily that really help keep your mindset healthy?
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: Because I believe your mindset is something that does need a workout and needs, you know it can't get flabby and needs its abs, like it really needs to kind of be toned so that you can do the harder things.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: But do you have a habit?
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: I love it because I call it conditioning.
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: You've got to condition your mind every day.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: I love that because I call it conditioning.
• 35:08
  Speaker 2: You've got to condition your mind every day.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Some of my habits that I think, do that is.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: I do have a routine of a morning routine and I'm not as good as my evening routine, but in my morning routine one of the simple things I do is on my wall right here is that she wakes up with a grateful heart.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: I really try to say thank you.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: I start the day with thank you, breath, lungs, thank you.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: I also start with quiet time.
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: I try to be consistent with that.
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: It could be three minutes, it could be five minutes, but it's a time for me to get quiet, a time for me to reflect, journal, I pray, I move my body.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: That is critical and I like to do things that I want to do Like I push myself in ways that I just sometimes I don't feel like it.
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's an extra rep, it's a little heavier weight, it's an extra run One more concept, one more concept.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: And so those are some of the things that I do in my morning routine.
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: The other thing that I try to do is I I do try to reflect on my thoughts.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I often we often are worst critics, so I'm thinking about, like, what are you thinking about?
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: And when I catch myself thinking in a way that's negative or that thinking the worst versus the best, I try to check it and I try to just think about what I'm thinking about.
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: And I don't catch it all the time, but that's one of the habits I do to build the muscle and I say okay, why did you choose to think about that way?
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: How about you re-put it in reverse?
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: Think about it, what if it happened this way?
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: And I try to start conditioning my thinking in that way.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, I.
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: Just one of the things that I'm really looking forward to just seeing the evolution of what you're doing and how you're doing it really is how tough we can be on ourselves.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: Even athletes are really tough on themselves but they pick it up.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: And I'm like a sports documentary junkie, like I recently have know.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Recently I've watched.
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: I watched Shaxx and I think that's the one for me.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: It was on Netflix.
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you've seen it.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: I haven't seen that one yet.
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's not the one about him taking over Reebok, which is really cool too, but especially since it's here in new England and Boston but it was the one really about how he grew up and I didn't realize how tough of a childhood he had and really how hard his stepdad was on him and it's just phenomenal to see even what he recognizes now of what he wishes he wouldn't do, and like what he tells his son.
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: You don't want to be like me and it's just just so interesting of what you see from the outside, what you get an idea of, but then when you hear what's underneath or what it took, it is just tremendous in that and it's a lot of habit.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: He came from a place of like.
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: I'll prove them.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: Like he was just constantly being put down or being called dumb because he was so tall, because he was so tall, so young, he just, you know, was horrible how he was treated.
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: And it's just, I think, when you think about you know I'm not comparing myself to Shaq in any way, but I think you know, from the sense of like you keep going, even when there's naysayers, like you've talked about people being negative or people not believing in you.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: What would you say to people who don't believe in you today?
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: Or how would you handle someone saying no, she can't do it, she'll never succeed.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: How would I handle that today?
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I don't even do it.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: She'll never succeed.
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: How would I handle that today?
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: I don't even hear it Right, I don't, because I don't have time for that.
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: I don't have time, I usually giggle or laugh and I'm like I don't have, I don't have time.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: I let him see my hair down a couple of weeks ago and someone said something about someone and says I said I don't even know what you're talking about Cause I'm so focused, you're locked in, I'm locked in.
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: And so I had a call with one of my former clients as a former, you know, two time NFL quarterback yesterday and I asked him.
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: I said how did you do the last play?
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: And he says I blocked the naysayers.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: I don't even hear them and even good, I don't even read my own press either.
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: You know, if you're so swayed by what people say, you're never going to win.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: Right, we're going to win.
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you're not playing your own game.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: So I honestly I don't give it a lot of attention.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: I'm human.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: It hurts, you know.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: I want to defend myself, but I often let my work speed forward.
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I always say the truth is the truth, you know, and that's going to come out at some point and I know what it is, so that's all that matters, Right?
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: And I say run your race.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: And it's easier said than done on certain days, but I do live by that because otherwise you won't get anything done, because you'll be flexing and listening and sad, angry and all of all the emotions.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: No-transcript, and then giving yourself a challenge of like I've never done that before but I'm going to do one more.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: My big thing is like I want to do this sounds so silly, but I, you know, my upper body strength is just junk right now.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: So like I want to do four real pull-ups, you know, on a bar, the tall bar.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: You know what real pull-ups yes, you know on a bar, the tall bar.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: You know what that's not, so let me tell you.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you, when I first started lifting, I would go around the guys in the gym because I was so I felt intimidated by them.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: I pushed myself to say you're going to get up there and do pull-ups.
• 39:56
  Speaker 2: And you know, by the time I was preparing for my fitness, I was doing 20 and I would just say excuse me, are you done?
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: Now go in front of the guy and just do it.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: You know right, because I needed to see myself do hard things, right.
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so so it's just five.
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: So, yeah, well, you'll check in with me next time.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: See how many I'm doing.
• 40:11
  Speaker 1: Right now it's zero.
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: I can do the hang.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: That's about it, that's progress One step at a time.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, get to the bar and hang there.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah Well, thank you so much for being on the bull down, sharing really the mindset of of what it takes to be, you know, really aligned with your purpose and really defining success on your terms.
• 40:30
  Speaker 1: I think that's really what you're all about.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: All the information about Melissa is down below in the notes, as well as her book and how to get in contact with her.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being on the bold lounge.
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: Thank you for having me.
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking a leap you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important story.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with a bold mindset.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey with you.