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Why narcissists never really give you what you want · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're going to be talking about why narcissists don't
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  fully give you what you want and what you need, what you require
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  in a relationship. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a self aware narcissist and
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  welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back, welcome back, welcome back.
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  Yes, yes, yes. Why don't narcissists, these
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  narcissists, these dog dog narcissists ever fully give you
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  what you want? Why do they always kind of leave
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  you wanting more, leave you asking for more, leave you
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  looking for more? Like you ever get this feeling
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  when you're in a relationship with a narcissist or a toxic
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  person, right, That you're not fully fulfilled, right?
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  In any way, shape or form, it might happen, they out, it might
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  happen in the beginning because that's how they get you.
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  They, they might fully fulfill you in the beginning, right?
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  This is how narcissistic people work.
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  They might fully give you what you want and what you need, what
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  you're looking for in the beginning of the relationship.
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  That's how they get you out. They, they, they give you what
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  you want to need to reel you in. Typically, that's how it
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  happens, not how it doesn't, how it's happened the same way every
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  single time, right? But typically they give you what
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  you want, need. They typically they give you
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  what you're looking for. Typically they do this type of
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  stuff because it benefits them in the end.
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  But once they have you, they start to take it away, They
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  start to do less. You know, I have a course called
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  Understanding the Seven Stages of a Narcissistic relationship.
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  Why go over this in, in detail, right?
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  You can find that in mentalillness.net.
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  You can find a course and whatnot, but this is part of the
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  mindset. This is part of the dynamic that
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  so many people face when you're dealing with toxic narcissistic
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  people. Why don't they just get lately?
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  Why? Why?
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  We hear you, Lee. We hear you talking.
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  You're yapping like usual. You're lapping, you're yapping
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  your little narcissistic lips. They move up and down, but
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  nothing's coming out, nothing of substance.
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  Lee, get to the point. No, I will not get to the point.
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  No joke. But like, seriously, yeah, One
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  of the reasons why is because they feel like if they give you
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  what you want, you'll leave them.
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  It's, I know it sounds stupid, I know it sounds ignorant as hell,
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  but there is always a voice in my head Before I was super
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  aware. I'm I'm aware of the voice now
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  more than more than ever. But before, I was hyper aware,
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  before I was super aware of my personality disorder, I always
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  knew that something's going on inside of my head and there's
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  always a voice. And I was in relationships that
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  would just say don't do that. When I wanted, a part of me
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  wanted to do like everything my partner wanted.
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  Part of me wanted to just make them extremely happy.
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  But there was always a part of me inside of me.
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  They would be like, don't do that.
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  When I was getting ready to do something, when I was getting
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  ready to do something nice or hug this person or kiss this
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  person or reassure this person, some a part of me would say
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  don't do it. And y'all, that part of me was
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  strong as hell. It's still strong now, but I'm,
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  I'm stronger. I'm stronger than I've ever
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  been. You're right that part of me is
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  still there, but there's a part of me just like, no, don't do
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  it. They don't deserve it.
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  Do not do this for this person. And I know it sounds ignorant as
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  hell. Again, y'all, I know what
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  ignorant sounds like when I'm saying it out loud.
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  I know it sounds ignorant as hell.
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  The part of me which is like don't do this.
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  They don't deserve it. Like they'll leave you.
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  Hey Lee, if you do it, if you get it, if you give this person
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  that they're just going to leave you, they're not going to be
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  happy with you. They're going to bounce on you,
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  they're going to leave and and you know they're going to renege
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  on the relationship and I'll be like man, I don't I don't want
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  them to leave me. So me not want them to leave me
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  would make me not do stuff for them.
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  I wouldn't hug my partner. I wouldn't kiss my partner.
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  I just like if I hug him and kiss him, you know, I let me get
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  vulnerable here, and I didn't. I don't.
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  Yeah, but I would walk towards them like I was going to hug him
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  or like I was going to kiss him, but then I would just dart away.
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  It was like I was playing with him.
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  I wanted to do it, but as a part of me, it's just like like the
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  little, the little narcissist. Y'all see men.
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  Y'all see the movie Men in black.
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  A lot of y'all see men in black. You know how to the little alien
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  was driving the the the little alien was in the man's suit or
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  whatever. They had a cat.
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  That's how it felt like the little narcissist was in
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  control. Like if y'all see if you haven't
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  seen men in Black, you see the Power Rangers how they used to
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  make make the Megazord and they're like it's Morphin time
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  and they'll jump into the Megazord.
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  It's Megazord time and they make the Megazord and they'll all be
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  in the Megazord like console. That's how they the red Ranger
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  is a narcissist in my brain. No, not the red Ranger.
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  The green Ranger who was evil at first, you know, rest in peace,
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  Tommy, the green Ranger who was evil at first, right?
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  That's who was driving. That's the narcissist in my
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  mind. That's the narcissist driving.
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  That's the narcissist driving a narcissistic megazord, right?
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  It was just like I'd be going right towards my partner smiling
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  by the kissing, hugging, make it make them think I was coming
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  with good with good intent and like turn the walk off.
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  Leave them wanting more. They always leave you wanting
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  more. They leave.
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  They leave you with something to desire, right?
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  And it's bad. I knew I was doing it.
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  A part of it knew I was doing it.
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  I could not control it. I'll be in the car mad at
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  myself. Like why did I do that?
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  Can I explain why? Narcissistic people tend to know
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  what they're doing. They don't know why they're
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  doing it. Or there's some narcissists out
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  there that are totally, completely oblivious to what
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  they're doing and their behaviors.
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  Yeah, there are some out there, but I believe most of them know
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  what they're doing. They just don't know why they
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  are doing it. And like, they can't explain.
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  They can't understand why they are doing it.
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  Then they will just keep doing it over and over again.
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  You see, Like I can't explain why.
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  I'll just keep doing it. If I can't explain the why
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  behind the behavior, then I'll just keep doing it over and over
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  again. So they leave you wanting more
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  because it like if I do everything you want, then you'll
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  just leave me. You won't need me anymore.
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  They want to be needed. They want to be wanted.
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  That's one of the main reasons why they won't give you
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  everything that you want need. They always want this type of
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  control. Like as long as you need me that
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  you can't leave me. It's crazy.
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  There's not just love, care and affection.
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  It could be money. It could be whatever they're
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  withholding from me. It could be money.
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  They never fully satisfy you with money.
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  They never fully satisfy you in the bedroom.
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  They're fully satisfy you wherever it is y'all, they
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  always leave. There's always, they're always
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  lacking something. There's always a lack in the
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  lack can be shifted. It can shift from one thing to
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  another. It can shift from bedroom needs.
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  It can shift to family needs. It can shift to Co parenting or
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  helping around the house. It can shift, it can shift
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  y'all, you know it's crazy how they do it.
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  It's crazy how the mind works in this space.
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  So why don't they give you what you want need?
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  Because some of them just don't. They think you'll leave them.
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  The abandonment issues come into play.
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  There's also another thing as well, y'all.
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  Another reason is control. Control.
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  I want to control every single thing in my life.
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  I want to control every single situation.
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  I want to control every single person that I encounter.
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  I want to control all of it. I want to control everyone by by
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  not give you what you want and need by not give you not
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  fulfilling you, but not leave you want anymore.
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  I'm in control. You know, I'm in control of the
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  situation. I control the flow of
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  communication. I control this type of stuff
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  right there. Like like I said, this can is
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  not just money or sex or whatever.
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  It can also be communication. I can control the lines of
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  communication. You need me to communicate with
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  you. I'm not going to do it.
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  You need me to text back. I'm not going to do it.
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  You need me to talk to you, not give you the silent treatment.
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  I'm not going to do it. You need me to stop stonewalling
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  you. I'm not going to do it.
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  It's so. Yeah.
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  Behind every narcissist is a behind every narcissist is a
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  damage in a child screaming for help devious little inner child
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  everybody in the L y'all hear inner child y'all think y'all
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  think a little crying baby these the inner child of a narcissist
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  is not not always going to be a little crying baby hiding behind
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  here cute little big 6-7 year old Lee No, these are Damien
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  from the omen their inner child some of the narcissist some of
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  these narcissist inner child. You know, I'm not picking on
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  people's like childhood trauma experiences, you know, just
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  bringing levity to it. But some of these inner child,
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  inner children are devils. They're like they got red eyes
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  and horns and and tridents. They're not good people, you
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  know what I'm saying? But it's not their fault, of
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  course, of course. But they're like, could be a
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  little little evil inner child, little sinister childish inner
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  children, right? Childish inner children.
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  Of course they're going to be childish inner children because
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  they never grew up, got it. But they want to control every
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  single thing. Y'all, It's like playing a game
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  with you, because that's going to be the next time I'm going to
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  the last time I'll cover right here.
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  They don't give you what you want me because it's a game like
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  I said earlier, walking towards you hands out like I'm about to
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  grab the like about to grab a handful of cheek.
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  I just reach passion grab the grab the what you call it.
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  You want some affection? I'm I'm about to kiss you go
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  watch. So washing dishes, put put my,
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  put my bowl in the sink. It's so childish.
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  Some of them don't give you what you want to need.
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  Don't don't fulfill you because it's a damn game.
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  It's a unique, horrible game. So like I said, they don't give
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  you what you want to need. They don't fulfill you because
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  they, they, they are afraid you're going to leave them.
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  They want to control you. And then some of them like just
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  like playing this game with you. It's a childish ass, just
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  rudimentary game where they keep doing the same things over and
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  over again. They see what they can get away
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  with. They see what they can not do.
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  They see what they can withhold from you.
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  So you ask them a question, they'll stop doing something.
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  They'll they'll get in the routine of doing something
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  right. They'll get in the routine of
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  kissed you cheek every morning, kiss you on the cheek every
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  morning, kiss you on the cheek every morning, kiss you on the
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  cheek every morning. So you get your so used to
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  kissing on the cheek. Here's what happens when they
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  don't. They don't do it the next day.
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  They don't do it three days ago by they don't do it four days
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  look and the whole time in their minds they're like, OK, wait,
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  did she ask me about this or he or they?
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  But I can't wait till they ask me about this and then when you
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  ask them about it, they're like game over.
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  I won. Hey, why don't you kiss?
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  There's something wrong. You haven't kissed me on the
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  cheek in like the last couple weeks.
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  Oh, I just slipped my mind. It slipped my mind to kiss you
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  on the cheek. I've, I know I've been doing it
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  every single day, but that's where they go about doing things
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  right there. Yeah, it's a game.
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  A lot of narcissists play these little childish ass games
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  because it gets them. It makes them feel certain that
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  way, makes them feel vindicated, makes them feel strong, makes
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  them feel in charge, Right. It's game very gamely.
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  It's very childish like playing Nintendo Switch with you yeah
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  stop playing the games stop playing these games with the
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  more you play with them the more the more you play the more they
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  enjoy it. They keep playing the game.
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  You know, it's like sinister like they love it when they play
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  a plan comes together. So they go to to refresh you.
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  The three reasons why narcissist don't ever give you what you
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  fully want and eat don't ever fulfill you completely control
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  if they're going to leave and then games.
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  So hope these video butchers and clarity.
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  Hope abortions and peace again. Y'all.
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  I have a new channel, it's called Lee dot actions.
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  Check out the new channel Lee dot actions.
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• 11:40
  reacting to other people's videos.
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  I'm doing text message breakdowns and I'm doing story
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  times all of my other channel Lee dot action.
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  So if you don't have you have a story you want to send in, send
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  it to the e-mail scroll across the bottom of the screen right
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  now. Check it out
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• 11:59
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• 12:14
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  Peace.